Lawyers' joke
Yaron Hillel, M.A.
Eric's message when he sent me this one:
Bre'r Jon, married to my sister - who is a lawyer - passed these along.
How long do you think he has to live? <G>
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.
Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the
same service.
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once
launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up
everything forever.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't
figure out which side to spit on.
Lawyer's creed:
A man is innocent until proven broke.
What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
Lipstick.
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
Skeet.
What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
Chelsea.
If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ... that I saw
a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the
lawyer's rates.
"$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.
"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from
time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was
offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided
to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite
cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the
bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you
hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak
Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated
the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in
Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of
the cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't
dare shoot me.'"
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Yaron Hillel, M.A. / Sociology & Culture / AKA Ronnie
ya...@icubed.net
TAMPA, FLORIDA, USA (813) 873-7713
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Sherry Johnson
Just gotta' add my favorite. I'm procrastinating my moving
duties here...
What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities
Ta' Sherry
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> From: Yaron Hillel, M.A. <ya...@ICUBED.NET>
> To: TBI-...@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU
> Subject: Lawyers' joke
> Date: Saturday, May 31, 1997 3:55 PM
Joann Odd
LOL over the lawyer jokes...I do hope our kind, loyal and HELPFUL lawyers on
the list do not take offence, YOU are the exceptions...not the rule! And
after all, having a good sense of humor keeps us all going sometimes! Right?
joann
Connie Williams
Sherry, Yaron: ohhhh, I've loved these lawyer jokes sooooooooo much... thanks.
Connie
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