Postdoctoral humor

[Rod Pennington]

I'm forwarding the following letter (without permission of the author who
shall remain anonymous). Non-tenured PhD's (how's it going out there
David?) may find it particularly amusing. I may use this letter myself on
some future occasion. It probably can't hurt.....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Professor Knowitall,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful
consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your
department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising
field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Prestigious' outstanding qualifications and previous
experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does
not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position
of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward
to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Postdock
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rod Pennington
5433 Loop 205, #168
Temple, TX 76502
rod...@sage.net