The Weekly Email by Betsy 7-31-07
betsy beijing
Hey-ho frisbeketeers!
Sadly, a beloved member of our super cool
exclusive clique has gone to the place where the cows don't come home no more
(due to the obviously infidelity on the part of their two-timing owners), and
the elderly women dye their hair in outlandish colors to preserve the little je ne sais quoi that is left of their faded
youth—yes, that's right boys and girls, Chris is going to Turkey. His parting
wish was that we would muster up the strength and form our own children's
variety show in his honor. Betsy plans on honoring that wish. And so, thus
became the frisbeketeers.
WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
Tuesday July 31, Practice, 7.30-10, Gu Lou.
back again for approximately the 25th week in a row, Tuesday's practice is here
to stay. To celebrate this magnanimous event in the history of the
frisbeketeers, there's a special anniversary bonus for those who attend
Tuesday's practice: I promise to give a kuai to everyone every time Ken
compliments someone. And that's a lot. Yay for Tuesdays and practice! For directions
check out google groups or call Nick Monsees at 137 1761 8045
Thursday august 2, Pick Up, 7-9, Gu Lou.
There's no special bonus for going to pick-up this week, except for that warm
fuzzy feeling you get inside when you know that you're good enough, you're
strong enough, and dog-gone it, people like you. Of course if Nick "lover
man" Monsees is in a good mood and you're a guy, you just might get the
action you were looking for—but that's always a possibility for the young and
the frisky (just don't let his fiancée know).
Sunday august 5, Summer League, 2 pm meet at dongzhimen for a 3 pm start at the
fields, Happy Valley
It's gotten to the point where Betsy can't
remember a time when there weren't toxic chemicals in her lungs after a good
jaunt around the field at Xiao Wu Ji, the village-turned-factory we play at
near happy valley. Get it while the getting's good folks! And just think how
much more resilient you will be than your ultimate friends back home after
training in the valley. South side represent, yo.
______________
lunch time poll:
next time the ultimate team goes to rickshaw on the spur of the moment what is
most likely to happen?
a) Doc's vegan salad comes out as a live 10-winged mutant chicken with Thai BBQ
sauce and an extra serving of blue cheese dressing on the side. He proceeds to
kill the cook.
b) It's open mike night and Klaas sees his chance to perform his very own
rendition of the Dutch National Anthem, "het Wilhelmus", using a
richshaw powered bagpipe.
c) Jeff and Peter get in a fight over who gets the 2500 kuai fapiao, the whole
situation not being helped by their teams that break into a song and dance
number reminiscent of the Sharks and the Jets. The line is finally crossed when
Peter pulls some strings in the government and Jeff and his whole team get
deported to Puerto Rico, never to play Beijing ultimate again.
d) Having received their five hours of hospitality training, the staff deftly
manages the influx of 30 customers, bringing everyone's correct orders out
within 15 minutes of everyone sitting down.
(okay this
one is too easy. It probably doesn't help that everyone knows how klaas has
been spending the last five weeks of his spare time building the unwieldy yet
strangely sexy rickshaw powered pipes.)
----------
WEEKLY ITEM #2: Summer League Update
Boogie V Disco - 12 : 4
Funk V Groovy - 13 : 4
Thanks again to Rickshaw, Zahlen, SOS, Tracie, Mae, and barbie for their contributions to our jerseys and the First Aid kit. If you see any of these people/institutions, please give em a pat on the back for all their valued efforts.
contact tracie at teece...@gmail.com
.
email complaints directly to imaf...@gmail.com
_________
now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and
call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to
get called out.
a shout out to jenn hinkle, who came the closest to answering the weekly quiz
correctly. Her format wasn't perfect, but we'll give it to her because she had
the guts to answer it without even coming out to play with us yet. I, Betsy,
want to be the first to in-person congratulate jenn on her free photo shoot
with Stephanie the first day she does make it out to the field. Jenn, I don't
care what your ultimate skills are like--you are exactly the type of person we
need in this community—look forward to seeing you on Tuesday!
a call out to the Chinese government, for not letting big dogs inside of the
fifth ring road. Its because of you foul people that Jamie can't come to
ultimate anymore, because he got caught outside of his designated territory. On
second thought, Wang Qing is equally at fault—you knew he was oversized when
you adopted him—what gives?
a shout out to Rickshaw's stereo system, for being the only thing that can
singly handedly drown out the entirety of the Frisbee team with hits from the
1990s. RESPEC.
A call out to Jenn Brown, who said she was going to get cheeseburgers and massages with me last Saturday afternoon but ended up sleeping off her hangover instead. Don't apologize to Betsy; apologize to the poor high school students in your program who had to hold back your hair while you vomited in the squat toilets of Wudaokou.
a shout out to doc, who hasn't come to the past three weeks of summer league do
to an inordinately long visit from a few old "friends" of his, all
while knowing perfectly well that to be a frisbeketeer you must forsake all
non-frisbee related people and activities. Start brainstorming for the
exceedingly humiliating hazing rituals we will force doc to do before he can
regain our trust and loyalty.
A call out to Häagen-Dazs, Mötley Crüe, and all other names that are unnecessarily and incorrectly umlauted. If this is an attempt to steal glory from the greatness of Germanic languages, you're doing a horrible job. Blüh im Glanze dieses Glückes, blühe, deutsches Vaterland!
WEEKLY ITEM #3: MAILBAG
every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing
her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and
wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these
questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.
Letter #1:
dear betsy,
I'm the mushroom on Eric's shirt from Sunday. You know, the smiling one, with
arms and legs? Just wanted to say that after hearing about all this
sponsorship, I have discussed with my manager and have decided I will donate my
hallucinogenic qualities to the betterment of the community—as long as I get my
picture front and center of next year's league jerseys. Is it a deal?
Yours truly,
The Japanese Fun Guy
Dear Mr. Funguy,
I'd have to run it through Barbie first, but I think that's a great idea! Just one quick question: are you of the Psilocybe cyanescens variety, the Psilocybe semilanceata variety or the Psilocybe cubensis variety? Because last time my dealer gave me the psilocybe cubensis, which doesn't contain psilocybin, the psychedelic property of shrooms, and I had a bad case of the runs from the cyanide poisoning. There's no such thing as too many shrooms, seeing as how they are a naturally-occurring substance that are less toxic than asprin! If you are of the former persuasion, we would be happy to make you the next official sponsor of Beijing Ultimate.
betsy
xxxooo
Letter #2:
dear betsy,
I just wanted to say that I'm thrilled for this new partnership between Rickshaw and the ultimate community, Did you know we have Happy hour 4-8 every day, we're open 24 hrs, have wireless access, Taco Tuesdays, and some would venture to say a top-notch breakfast. Our sister restaurant Sandle on north sanlitunr has the same menu but a grungier atmosphere for those who like the dirty dirty. but honestly, I'm even more thrilled about Tracie wearing that shirt she wore on Sunday. Did you fellas get a load of those apples? Did I mention how I hired an extremely well-endowed employee the other day? Betsy, what have I done to deserve such fortune?
Milking it for all its worth,
Chad
Dear Chad,
Good to know you are satisfied with our relationship, we wouldn't have it any other way. As for your wonderment at the fortuitous circumstances of your surroundings, Betsy can't quite empathize, but she has directed your question to ryan perez who might be able to relate a bit better. Hope this helps.
betsy
xxxooo
Letter #3:
Dear betsy,
I can't stand the lonely nights without you. Its just not the same anymore—back in the States, as if nothing ever changed. My girlfriend is always commenting that I seem somewhere else. And she's right! Pretending day in day out there's not 1.3 billion people across the globe, one of which whom I can't get out of my head. I can't live a life of lies, with secret demons waiting in the dark corners of my mind. You've put a spell over me betsy, and I don't know what to do—I've never been so enchanted with anyone before in my life. Either have me, or release me from this torturous state of purgatory.
sleepless in north cakalak,
Patrick wheeler
Dear wheeler,
I thought I made it clear to you from the outset—sex in exchange for you being a ringer on our team. Once you left Beijing, the deal was off—no buts, and/ors, whereases, nothing. I confess, we had a good thing going--you with your crass humor, me with my bouncy hair--why did you have to ruin it all and go back? Face it pat--its over.
betsy
WEEKLY ITEM #4: Social Calender
The Coming and Going Party of the Year!
Where: Melissa, Sandy and Tracie's place--Dongzhimen Bei Xiao Jie buliding 24, Danyuan 13, Room 601
When: Saturday, August 4th, 9:17 pm
Leave it to sandy to pull through when the team needs her most. There's a cover charge for every minute you are either too early or too late, starting at 100 kuai and increasing by said amount every minute. Needless to say this party will be subsidizing sandy's travel and tourney fees for all the fall tournaments, so do her a favor and come fashionably late like any good ultimate player would.
for directions or advice on what to
wear to increase your chances of getting hit on call Sandy at 13601102151 or
Tracie at 13611151332
-----------------
WEEKLY QUIZ: for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy asks
a few simple questions, and it's your job to provide the correct answers.
as
always, googling is prohibited. this week's winner will get barbie's camera
and editing services in their very own home movie--duration of 1 hour, with no
limit on content. Let it be clear that Barbie has standards, and will not
participate in the video herself, but that she is quite willing to film
anything you put in front of the lens and edit accordingly.
this week's category--puzzles
Follow the
link to your favorite family past-time card game online: http://www.setgame.com/set/puzzle_frame.htm.
play the puzzle and after you finish it copy the web page that tells you how
much time it took into an email and send it to me, betsyb...@gmail.com, only. You didn't
think you could just make up a number now, did you? The quiz changes daily but
betsy will accept the fastest time from any day's puzzle up to next Sunday,
after which, the doors close.
as for last week's question, jenn, our newest edition to the ultimate team,
still yet without a face to the name, answered last weeks quiz correctly. Her answer
was:
Hi Cold
Steel, Le Tigre, Betsy!
Am I taking crazy pills? You are quoting from the finest film in
recent cinemagraphic history, Zoolander. Derrick is Ridiculous good
looking, hansel wants whats-her-name to wash away her bulimic worries
with tea, and Hansel adores Sting while smoking paodi (spelling?).
Another apropos quote due to recent pollution, "I think I got the
black lung, papa, cough cough."
Jenn, please collect your free photo shoot by contacting Stephanie through
Jason at 1391 050 6194
WEEKLY UPA 11th EDITION RULE:
Length of Game
1. Game to goals: A game is played until one team first reaches or exceeds the game total, with a margin of at least two goals or until a cap is reached.
1. Caps are maximum score limits imposed before or during a game to limit the time required to declare a winner. The game ends when one team's score first reaches the cap.
1. A point cap is a maximum score limit imposed before the event.
2. A soft time cap is a maximum score limit imposed during a game once a predetermined time of play has elapsed and after the current scoring attempt is completed.
3. A hard time cap is the ending of the game once a predetermined time of play has elapsed and after the current scoring attempt is completed. If the score is tied, play continues until one additional goal is scored.
2. The team with the most goals at the end of the game is the winner.
3. A standard game has a game total of 15, with a point cap of 17.
http://www.upa.org/ultimate/rules/11th#V
This means that Tracie is right. And donald
thought he could take her on. ha
_______
which brings us finally to your moment of zen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE1gYMF8kgs
catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo
Bonedaddy
It has been amazing playing and partying with all of you over the past
year. I have learned more than I thought possible. Thanks for
supporting the Lan Cao Ramblers. I will be thinking about all of you
while my ass is incredibly sore (especially you nick). You guys rock
and I can't wait to get back in November to rock more Ultimate.
I have a blog I am keeping up with if anyone is interested:
http://workingthesilkroad.blogspot.com Leave comments and keep me
motivated! The tour ends on November 18th. We will be rolling into
Tiananmen in the late afternoon. I will post more details after I
know them. There is going to be one hell of a party that night.
Thanks for everything!
Peace,
-Chris
On Jul 31, 4:43 pm, "betsy beijing" <betsybeij...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hey-ho frisbeketeers!
>
> Sadly, a beloved member of our super cool exclusive clique has gone to the
> place where the cows don't come home no more (due to the obviously
> infidelity on the part of their two-timing owners), and the elderly women
> dye their hair in outlandish colors to preserve the little je ne sais
> quoithat is left of their faded youth-yes, that's right boys and
> girls, Chris is
> going to Turkey. His parting wish was that we would muster up the strength
> and form our own children's variety show in his honor. Betsy plans on
> honoring that wish. And so, thus became the frisbeketeers.
>
> WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
>
> Tuesday July 31, Practice, 7.30-10, Gu Lou.
> back again for approximately the 25th week in a row, Tuesday's practice is
> here to stay. To celebrate this magnanimous event in the history of the
> frisbeketeers, there's a special anniversary bonus for those who attend
> Tuesday's practice: I promise to give a kuai to everyone every time Ken
> compliments someone. And that's a lot. Yay for Tuesdays and practice! For
> directions check out google groups or call Nick Monsees at 137 1761 8045
>
> Thursday august 2, Pick Up, 7-9, Gu Lou.
> There's no special bonus for going to pick-up this week, except for that
> warm fuzzy feeling you get inside when you know that you're good enough,
> you're strong enough, and dog-gone it, people like you. Of course if Nick
> "lover man" Monsees is in a good mood and you're a guy, you just might get
> the action you were looking for-but that's always a possibility for the
> contact tracie at teeceegl...@gmail.com. email complaints directly to
> imafl...@gmail.com
>
> _________
>
> now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs,
> and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to
> get called out.
>
> a shout out to jenn hinkle, who came the closest to answering the weekly
> quiz correctly. Her format wasn't perfect, but we'll give it to her because
> she had the guts to answer it without even coming out to play with us yet.
> I, Betsy, want to be the first to in-person congratulate jenn on her free
> photo shoot with Stephanie the first day she does make it out to the field.
> Jenn, I don't care what your ultimate skills are like--you are exactly the
> type of person we need in this community-look forward to seeing you on
> Tuesday!
>
> a call out to the Chinese government, for not letting big dogs inside of the
> fifth ring road. Its because of you foul people that Jamie can't come to
> ultimate anymore, because he got caught outside of his designated territory.
> On second thought, Wang Qing is equally at fault-you knew he was oversized
> when you adopted him-what gives?
> my hallucinogenic qualities to the betterment of the community-as long as I
> get my picture front and center of next year's league jerseys. Is it a deal?
>
> Yours truly,
>
> The Japanese Fun Guy
>
> Dear Mr. Funguy,
>
> I'd have to run it through Barbie first, but I think that's a great idea!
> Just one quick question: are you of the *Psilocybe
> cyanescens<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybe_cyanescens>
> * variety, the *Psilocybe
> semilanceata<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybe_semilanceata>
> * variety or the *Psilocybe
> cubensis<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybe_cubensis>
> * variety? Because last time my dealer gave me the psilocybe cubensis, which
> doesn't contain psilocybin <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybin>, the
> anymore-back in the States, as if nothing ever changed. My girlfriend is
> always commenting that I seem somewhere else. And she's right! Pretending
> day in day out there's not 1.3 billion people across the globe, one of which
> whom I can't get out of my head. I can't live a life of lies, with secret
> demons waiting in the dark corners of my mind. You've put a spell over me
> betsy, and I don't know what to do-I've never been so enchanted with anyone
> before in my life. Either have me, or release me from this torturous state
> of purgatory.
>
> sleepless in north cakalak,
>
> Patrick wheeler
>
> Dear wheeler,
>
> I thought I made it clear to you from the outset-sex in exchange for you
> being a ringer on our team. Once you left Beijing, the deal was off-no buts,
> email and send it to me, betsybeij...@gmail.com, only. You didn't think you
apfelmeister
wonderful announcement.
I hope you have a wonderful trip, which I know you will, and I will be
watching you on your blog.
But now, anything else anyone writes sounds trite.
I just wanted to comment on teh lunch time poll.
Answer (c) Jeff and Peter get in a fight over who gets the 2500 kuai
fapiao, the
whole situation not being helped by their teams that break into a song
and
dance number reminiscent of the Sharks and the Jets. The line is
finally
crossed when Peter pulls some strings in the government and Jeff and
his
whole team get deported to Puerto Rico, never to play Beijing ultimate
again.)
This couldn't possible be happen because Disco is never going to be
able to learn the routine.
The middle is two "coffee grinders" into a "stage leap" and a "jump
over the log". That's after the "worm".
Jeff
Jennifer Brown
fapiaos" award...