The Random Winter E-mail from Betsy
Betsy
betsy cannot stand by any longer. she will not tolerate the public
defiling of this great network of information that she alone has built
and nurtured since the dawn of the internet. is she not even allowed
a few months of peaceful solace to bronze her perfect suppleness in
the south pacific paradise and be chased by glorious, rich, chiseled
man-men? does she have to do everything around here?
apparently so.
RANDOM ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
Every Wednesday, Pick Up, 7-9, BCIS
Every Sunday, Pick Up, 1-3, Dulwich
betsy would like to point out that the pick up schedule is subject to
change at alicia’s slightest whim. it is recommended that you check
the group site every hour up to the day of pick up, and several times
per minute in the final hours.
_________
now is the time in the random email when betsy gives her shout outs
and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't
want to get called out. this week, everyone is either called out or
shouted out. betsy offers a handy tool to determine which category
you are in.
a shout out everyone who attends winter pickup.
a call out to everyone who does not attend winter pick up. no
excuses*. examples of unacceptable excuses are listed, but not
limited to, the following:
• it’s too cold.
• i have work to do.
• i’m out of town.
• i’m really lazy.
• i’m really fat.
• i have class.
• i teach class.
• i have no class.
• sandy won’t let me.
• my newborn baby needs me.
• i’d rather play caps.
• i’m too busy stroking my mandolin.
• i moved to kunming.
• my girlfriend is visiting.
• i have a boyfriend now.
• i don't really play, even in the summer.
• it’s too expensive.
• dulwich is too far from the subway.
• bcis is too close to the subway.
• i miss barbie too much.
• i broke my ankle/arm/hand/foot/back/wrist/neck.
• i sprained my ankle/shoulder/wrist/neck/knee.
• sunday is the lord’s day.
• wednesday is hump day.
• i’m always too drunk at that time.
• five ultimate shorts make me look fat.
• i’m new to beijing.
• i’ve been in beijing too long.
• i don’t live in beijing.
• i don’t like playing indoor.
• my man-boobs are embarrassing.
• i’m in sri lanka.
• i'm in sri lanka showing off my man-boobs.
• dulwich is too early in the day.
• bcis is too late at night.
• jim is too fast.
• everyone else is too slow.
• there aren't enough hot guys coming out.
• i already have plans.
• i’m sick.
• i'm embarrassed to shower next to gareth.
• i have a date.
• i prefer foosball.
• i have to see avatar every week at those times.
• i’m blogging.
• betsy hasn't been sending out the reminders.
*acceptable excuses are limited to the following:
• i’m spending a few months of peaceful solace to bronze my perfect
suppleness in a south pacific paradise while being chased by glorious,
rich, chiseled man-men.
catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo
Tao
You are the wet mitten of my dreams. You are the colonoscopy we all
want but don't need. You are the riding crop inside porn starlets. But
most of all, you are the heart and soul of Beijing Ultimate. Never
change, as Boehner would say. Never change.
Tao
Bonedaddy
Same goes for you. Don't ever change.
-Bonedaddy