the weekly email from betsy, 4-13-10

[Betsy]

big brother,

tie up them laces, put on your sunscreen, and get pumped: it’s
tournament time! remember those suicides mean ol’ gareth made us
run? this weekend is when it pays off. get an extra day of throwing
in this week, get to the gym and loosen up, come to pickup on
wednesday. come out fired up and ready to dominate.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Wednesday, Pick Up, 8:30-10:30, Jianwai SOHO
Saturday and Sunday, Tianjin Open

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

April 17-18: Tianjin Open
April 24-25: Singapore Women and Open
May 1-2: Jeju Gnarly Nines
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague

props to those who made some hat tournaments to get your pre-season
touches in. this weekend is tianjin, the first opportunity for big
brother’s 2010 roster to gel in a tournament. watch the google group
site for details on transportation, lodging, and other logistics. get
psyched everyone. big brother will be sending one team only and will
be working on defining roles and trying different lines. talk to jim
and gareth if you are unclear about their vision for you. hint: it
likely involves horses, ice cream, n cake.
_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout
outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you
don't want to get called out.

a call out to jehan. it’s been a while since betsy has semi-
permanently called someone out. congratulations jehan. you’ve been
back in town for what, a month now? start doing awesome things
immediately.

a shout out to jim. jim rigged won the recent ningbo hat using mike
nads a cunning strategy of zone to embarrass outperform his
adversaries. jim’s achievements remind himself us all that he is not
only a super great humble man, but also a super great(?) just plain
great leader.

a call out to gareth. because of your lollygagging, there was not a
single suicide run at last week’s practice. your penance will be one
suicide for every suicide not run. betsy will help you with the math
if you are confused. it’s forty-two.

a shout out to puma. puma of ningbo fame was the only person to dress
up for the star wars theme. he went in full S.W.A.T gear complete
with facepaint. betsy hasn’t been this confused by a costume since
baby girl dressed up in a pink tutu for barbie’s pink party.

a call out to hhh. if you keep showing up at parties and gatherings,
betsy is going to have to start shouting you out more often. you’ve
been warned.

a shout out to matt. matt wins the award for enduring the most crap
while traveling to a tournament, and came out smelling like roses on
the other side.

a call out to sandy. sandy missed two weeks of practice, the ningbo
hat tournament, a ridiculous margarita party, and she didn’t even
invite betsy to maui. suicides for you as well.

a shout out to ningbo. thanks for the awesome tournament and thanks
for buying five more cases of beer once we finished the first two, in
like, ten minutes.

a call out to tequila. why must you always make the night end with
the chait singing terrible songs terribly at karaoke while joe runs
around collecting numbers like he’s in the census as baby girl is
passed out in the salsa just before ace and kevin make out in the
bathroom again?

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: WEEKLY QUIZ
for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy asks a few
simple questions, and it's your job to provide the correct answers.
as always, googling is prohibited. this week's winner will receive a
date with beijing’s most eligible bachelor or bachelorette. if a dude
wins and no bachelorette’s are available, jim will dress up like a
chick for you. sorry.

this week, a musical multiple choice:

which of the following lyrics in the eloquent and thought-provoking
hit “Ice Cream and Cake” by Buckwheat Boyz are not actual lyrics?

a) ice cream n cake

b) ice cream n cake n cake

c) do the ice cream n cake

d) all the kids like ice cream n cake

e) pause step up ice cream n cake

f) now who dat is with the ice cream and cake?

g) the party aint live without the ice cream and cake.

h) you cant have your cookies and ice cream and eat it too!

i) all that crap is in the song. wow.

as for the previous quiz, the correct answer was, still is, and
forever will be, the lovely david hasselhoff. congratulations to
cdice, the only person to know jeff’s secret man crush. you win some
great prizes, courtesy of whatever tao has laying around in his room.
_________

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: coming this summer, betsy is proud to
present, a beijing ultimate offering, in conjunction with white face
studios and big nose productions, the long anticipated and never
underestimated, answer to all the beijing lady needs:

tai shuai lao wai. get it while it’s hot, which is guaranteed to be
always.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one
hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead
is purely coincidental.

_________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.the-huddle.org/issues/

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

[Lauren Reed]

So, does that mean Jehan gets a shout-out call-out? 

But c'mon, give him a break--he had to spend all of January sleeping, eating, breathing next to me. And you all remember my little bout with TB--the treatment did have a 90% efficacy rate.

Also, I want to call-out Betsy's shout out to Jim. Bygone are the days when Betsy modeled perfect grammar for the entirety of Beijing ultimate. God knows they need all the help they can get.

And finally, why couldn't tai shuai lao wai happen when I'm in Beijing? Ya'll have been holding out on me and it isn't fair. I may have to wreak vengeance soon.

ciao, 

barbie <3

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[Betsy]

bonus call out.

a call out to google. google doesn't allow advanced text options like
strikeouts in group sites. betsy is generally working on a whole
different level of grammer awesomeness. jim's shout out should be:

a shout out to jim. jim (rigged?) won the recent ningbo hat using
(mike
nads?) a cunning strategy of zone to (embarrass?) outperform his
adversaries. jim’s achievements remind (himself?) us all that he is
not
only a (super great?) humble man, but also a (super great?) just
plain
great leader.

betsy
xxxooo

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[Lauren Reed]

whoa. no wonder it didn't make any sense. and now i know why all my cool jokes using strikeouts were previously ignored, and why jim thought i was coming on to him all these years.

you have my deepest, sincerest apologies, betsy. bonus shout out to you, for unceasingly raising the bar for group sites across the globe. 

barbie <3

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