the weekly email by betsy 4-30-08
betsy beijing
hey frisbee addicts,
betsy has been muzzled. the cruel autocrats that think they run beijing ultimate have decided that no one can use any language that anyone anywhere might find offensive. in order to get around the ban on creative vocabulary, betsy will from now on employ the word "bafflegab" to represent every and all curse words imaginable. potential uses include:
joe is such a bafflegab.
i walked in without knocking, and saw julia and reid bafflegabbing.
i feel like bafflegab.
do you think i wished for a 12 inch bafflegab?
okay, onto the email.
WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
Wednesday April 30, Pick Up, 7-9.30, BCIS
anyone that went to jeju should relish the opportunity to show off their new upgraded stamina against all the chumps that stayed in beijing this weekend to take the hsk.
Saturday and/or Sunday May 3/4, Pick up. Time: TBD
Pick up will most likely be on at some point, but we still have to confirm which day and what time. please let jason know if you can make it. if everyone is going to be gone for the weekend, we'll have to cancel.
______________
lunch time poll:
Which of the following went through jason's mind this weekend in jeju:
a) i hope that stephanie doesn't find out i'm sharing a bed with barbie and tracie.
b) i hope that stephanie doesn't find out i blew all our honeymoon money at the sex museum gift shop.
c) I hope that stephanie never sees the mouth to mouth footage.
d) all of the above
WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Events
May 10th Decision 2008.
have the us primaries come to beijing? no, but we are faced with our own dilemma, as we all have to choose between to delectable frisbee events. Tianjin will be hosting an all day frisbee event, and have invited us to come out and play. At the same time, Happy Rat has arranged for a scrimmage against his Air Kazakh team out at Minzu Daxue. Please let Jason and/or shen know this week which event you would like to attend. We will try to have two big brother squads, one for tianjin, one for Minzu.
The latest word is that the Minzu exhibition won't even be a full game, so the best bet will be going to tianjin.
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The 2nd Annual China Nationals Tournament
This year's natties are going to be held in the capital. The dates will be May 31st and June 1st. It is going to be Beijing's first time ever to host a tournament. If you are interested in helping organize this year's tournament, please contact Kelly at kndu218 at hotmail dot com.
The plan will be to split big brother into two squads, just like last year. if you want to be on the sexy team, now's the time to show betsy that you belong. auditions will be held nightly at betsy's apartment.
Future Tournaments:
―6月 21日--22日 ―― Shanghai
―8月 30日--31日 ―― Singapore
―Late October ―― Hong Kong
―11月 22日--23日 ―― Manila
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now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.
a shout out to nicki, the latest and hopefully last of our walking wounded. if you are in beijing this friday, make sure to come out to nicki's alcohol free vegan dinner at her apt this friday.
a call out to sandy, who insisted to betsy that doc deserves a shout out this week. just because sandy and doc are bafflegabbing, that's no reason that doc should get a shout out.
a shout out to the refrigerator, for stealing the mantle previously worn by illustrious big brother lushes like candice and ryan to become the most entertaining drunk in beijing.
a call out to the word nazis. bafflegab you!
a shout out to the three days of ultimate madness that was this year's jeju tournament. everyone who participated, make sure to let those who stayed in beijing all the awesomeness they missed out on.
a call out to the chinese government, for creating a three day holiday that will interfere with saturday practice and sunday pick up. what is betsy going to do if she can't get her tri-weekly fix of ultimate?
WEEKLY ITEM #3: MAILBAG
every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.
Letter #1:
dear betsy,
are you sure that wearing the color orange is a good idea?
color blind,
shen
dear agent orange,
check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIgtaG9ykdI
betsy
xxxooo
Letter #2:
dear betsy,
how did patrick get included in the nick monses memorial room? he is as fun as anyone in beijing ultimate. on saturday night, he represented for beijing ultimate at the pool table, and on sunday night he was up as late as anyone. what gives?
expecting,
tina
dear tina,
that's right. partick is very fun. in fact, he is a secret fun agent, and he was placed in the nick monses room in order to infiltrate and hopefully increase the fun factor. unfortunately, although patrick himself accounted for a great deal of fun, his mission was a complete failure. in hindsight, it turns out that making out with the lone male on the japanese team is not fun. only disgusting and offensive.
a word of advice to jason. next time keep your bafflegab in your pants.
betsy
xxxooo
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WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: candice and ken 2.0 bafflegabbed when they left the room to go wake up jason and insist he come to the pants no pants slumber party. the whole affair lasted a mere 15 minutes, and a lot of that time was spent looking for jason's room, but i guess quick bafflegabbing is just one more way in which ken 2.0 is technologically superior.
Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
WEEKLY ITEM #4: Social Calender
Wed April 30, Ironman, 10.30, East Gate
it's opening in beijing two days before it opens in the states. don't miss out.
Friday May 2, Nicki's House
From Nicki: I am (finally) organising an informal dessert & wine & cheese gathering at my apartment on May 2nd (Friday). I know it is the long weekend, but IF you are not going away, and you (and your date) can come, please let me
know. I will send out details on how to get to my place next week. Also, since quitting my job, I've decided to go Vegan. And I quit drinking alcohol. So I won't be having any actual wine or cheese at my wine and cheese party. I hope you all understand. Doc assures me it will be fun anyway.
If you want directions to Nicki's apt, get in touch with Nicki personally. She doesn't want to put directions up on the group, in case Doc figures out where she lives.
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This week's rule clarification:
Double-team: If a defensive player other than the marker is within three meters of any pivot of the thrower without also being within three meters of and guarding (II.G) another offensive player, it is a double team. However, merely running across this area is not a double team.
# Only the thrower may call a marking violation, and to do so must call out the name of the specific marking violation.
# When a marking violation is called, play does not stop. The violation must be corrected before the marker can resume the stall count with the number last uttered before the call minus one (e.g. "stalling one…two.. "fast count" ..one…two…"). If the marker resumes the stall count before correcting a marking violation, it is another instance of the original marking violation, which may be called by the thrower.
# If a marker commits a marking violation after being called for a marking violation during the same stall count (XIV.A.1) but before the thrower is in the act of throwing, the thrower may choose to either call another marking violation or to treat the marking violation as a general defensive violation (XVI). To treat it as a general violation, the thrower must call "violation."
what all this means is that, when you call a double team, you shout out double team, and the market must drop two before resuming the stall count. if the market does not drop two, then you may again call a double team. if double team is called a second time in the same stall count, you may elect to call violation instead, which means that play stops and the marker can either contest or not contest.
i'm sure this confuses most of you bafflegabs out there. make sure to ask at practice if this is not clear.
which brings us finally to your moment of zen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYbSUm3fftA
catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo