The Weekly Email By Betsy 2-21-08

[betsy beijing]

dear frisbee friends,

betsy's back!  that's right, after ripping it up in bangkok, betsy has returned to beijing.  "but betsy, you've been MIA for months."  that's true.  betsy had to go into hiding to give birth to her illegitimate love child. she's not going to reveal the father because of certain pending lawsuits, but his name starts with a J.

now that she's birthed her baby, betsy's ready for spring to arrive and the 2008 season of tournament play to begin.  we have a lot to look forward to in 2008, what with the frisbee awards in march, the first beijing tournament in early may, and the return of old big brother favorites like james "i used to captain the enterprise" kirchhoff,  cathleen "queen of the duet" hamel, and corey "don't touch my hair" evans. so onto the weekly email:

WEEKLY ITEM #1:  The Weekly Schedule

Wed Feb 20th, Pick Up, 7.00, BCIS 

Thanks to the oddities of the fourth dimension, this already happened.  For a full explanation of all things time travel, please see Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Sunday Feb 24th, Pick Up, BCIS, 3-5

Jim promises he will be there this time.  Really he does.

______________

lunch time poll:

most inexplicable hook up in bangkok:

a) Doc and Jenn Brown

b) Jason and Tracie

c) Donald and Jean

d) Reid and Julia

 

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Events 

The Ratties

The writer's strike is over, and that means the world's greatest awards extravaganza will go on as planned.  This years awards ceremony is going to be March 29th, at Greg and Zoe's place.  The theme is going to be "Rat Pack or Pack Rats."  Don't ask betsy what that means.  If you want to help out with the organizing committee, or you just want to get some free donuts from Greg and/or Zoe, let Candice know. 

The 2nd Annual China Nationals Tournament

This year's natties are going to be held in the capital.  It is going to be Beijing's first time ever to host a tournament.  If you are interested in helping organize this year's tournament, please contact Kelly at kndu218 at hotmail dot com.  She didn't realize when Jason said "We will work on this together," his assurances were as worthless as when he told Stephanie "Don't worry, Tracie and I will have separate beds."  So Kelly is going to need YOUR help to make this tournament happen.

Jeju

Jeju is the last weekend in April, the 26th and 27th.  To get an idea of what it was like last year, check out this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SEd5iuCWzc

Big Brother is looking to send two plus teams. The hitch of course is that it's a gnarly nines tournament.  everyone who went last year knows that the roster limit can make things tricky.  But don't worry, we'll find room for anyone who wants to go.  This tournament is too fun for anyone to miss. Look for more details about the tournament in an email tomorrow. 

_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and call outs.  remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to nick, who thanks to the fact that no one actually knows him outside of beijing, was able to give himself all ones and then ended up unbalancing what turned out to be the winning team in bangkok this weekend.  congratulations to nick and team ron burgandy.

a call out to donald, jason, doc, jenn brown, julia, tracie, reid, and candice, who brought shame and disgrace to beijing ultimate by not winning the bangkok hat tournament.  your failure will haunt you for the rest of your lives.

a shout out to joe, who managed to hold together beijing ultimate while jason was gone.  get used to it.  jason has officially turned into an old curmudgeon on par with donald and doc.  it won't be long before he flips out and chews someone's face off and has to be put down.  then it's going to be joe's turn to run the show all by himself.

a call out to jim, who made a big to do about his return to frisbee in beijing this wednesday, and then didn't show up.  if you want us to be your marketing guinea pigs you can at least have the courtesy to feed us some celery every once in a while.  

WEEKLY ITEM #3:  MAILBAG

every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is.  the mailbag is where she answers these questions.  as always, these are real letters from real readers.

Letter #1:

dear betsy,

what color team were you on in bangkok?  did your team win?  

your number one fan,

the new ken

dear adoring fan,

betsy thanks you for your heart felt and warm support.  her ultimate career would not be possible without adulation from fans like you. 

unfortunately, because of the overwhelming bulk of email betsy receives every week, she can't respond to each one personally.  but please accept this autographed picture as a token of her appreciation.

sincerely,

betsy

xxxooo

Letter #2:

dear betsy,

i've been working out religiously for the past three years, and have enjoyed my reign as beijing ultimate's most muscular stud muffin.  now this new guy shows up, and all of sudden none of the women are paying attention to me anymore.  what's his secret?

suffering from big muscle envy,

ryan

dear ryan,

betsy was at julia and c-dice's a few weeks ago, and knows exactly what happened.  zach came over, and they gave him your huge container of over the counter steriods, i mean protein powder.  and now he's benching 300 like it's a nerf barbell.  so when you think about it, you created this tightly muscled, erotic sex monster.  ironic, huh?

betsy

xxxooo

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The Weekly Rumor That Must Be True:  Have you seen the movie Minority Report?  Then you know that Tom Cruise played a cop from the department of Precrime who could discover criminals before they broke the law.  Well, it turns out that Betsy has the same precognitive abilities, but in terms of future hook ups.  Here's a preview of the juicy rumors you will be reading about this spring:

After their relationship goes down in flames, Julia is going to start hooking up with Shen, and Reid is going to be making time with Debbie (you'll meet her in late March).

Two nights before the Ratties, thinking the votes have already been tabulated, Sandy breaks her vows of abstinence and goes home with a visiting ultimate player from the Colorado School of Mines.  She regrets the decision when she wins the Mousetrap award for being most likely to hook up.

Thinking that it was just going to be a one night stand, Barbie and Ryan are surprised to celebrate their 6 month anniversary in May.

Remember folks, you heard it here first.

WEEKLY ITEM #4:  Social Calender

Sat Feb 23rd, Chip's Band, Time TBD, Yu Gong Yi Shan.

Chip told me to let you guys know that his band is playing on Saturday night and to let the ladies know that he's looking for a new temporary girlfriend while Yin is gone.  Past experiences indicates that if you want to see the band play, you should get there before midnight. 

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WEEKLY QUIZ:  for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy asks a few simple questions, and it's your job to provide the correct answers.  as always, googling is prohibited.  this week's winner will receive a sketch drawing of themselves courtesy of kelly yang.

this week's category, kevin bacon:

who can find the movie connection between kevin bacon and william shatner in the fewest possible steps?  

email your answers directly to betsy.

________

which brings us finally to your moment of zen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWLGgTFZl4g&NR=1

catch you on the field,

betsy

xxxooo