Then there's one I am calling "divert and deny". I have had two
delightful experiences with this one of late.
First, I had a housekeeper come to my house and help me pick things
up; garbage in this bag, recycling in this bag, books and dvds and
other valuables on the couch. After she left I found books and dvds in
the garbage and now I have to go through the bags myself to avoid
throwing away valuables. I wrote a complaint to the better business
bureau and the business wrote back with this whole spiel about how my
house was infested with flies and I had said an exterminator was
coming the next day and then made up a story about my house being full
of fleas(totally untrue) and had she known, the woman never would have
sent the housekeeper in the first place.
Umm...bugs in the house have no connection to valuable items being
thrown away. So I wrote back pointing out the diversion tactic being
used and how it had no connection to the problem and I got all of my
money back along with a letter of apology.
Another example:
I planned a get together for the Model United Nations class because I
am the Secretary in the class and it has been suggested by the teacher
that we need to do some bonding to be a strong delegation. We were to
meet at Gameworks in Seattle at 4PM on a Saturday. I called people
and got seven confirmations of people who were going and were very
excited about it. I sent out reminders. Only two people ended up
going, and our Head Delegate ended up sitting there by himself for an
hour and a half because the other person could not find him and no one
else bothered to call or let either of us know they would not be
going.
So we get into class and start talking about planning another get
together after our Head Delegate sent out a pretty angry email to
those who didn't go and didn't bother to call. In the course of the
discussion, divert and deny came up as it was mentioned that this part
of Seattle was so crowded that it would have been hard to find each
other and the failure of the event was blamed on that. In the end,
even though only two people bothered to attempt to go, it all became
my fault for choosing such a crowded location. I will take that into
account in the future, but it has nothing to do with the fact that
only 2 of the 7 tried to go, none of the others called to say they
couldn't make it, and everyone who was supposed to go was really
excited about it and never suggested this possible problem to me even
though they made it seem in class discussion like it was completely
obvious to anyone with half a brain. I'm still a little peeved about
this one because I have been working extremely hard for these people.
Divert and deny. Watch out for it so you can defend yourself.
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