Usenet Newsgroup Genesis
Jeff Liebermann
and devoid of intelligent discourse. And the lord said "Let us rant"
and the ranting began.
Soon, there came upon the white space, a common man with a common
question. While not a question of great import or value, it be a
question worthy of ponderance. The exact nature of the question is
shrouded in obscurity and as we shalt see, is of little import.
First upon the newsgroup came the wise men of the fast tongue tribe.
Burdened with excessive knowledge and little restraint, these wise men
are able to supply all manner of answers, without ever understanding
or even reading the question. While supplying truth and knowledge,
little of it is much related to the original question. These wise men
are condemned to wander the newsgroups in search of questions, for
they already know all the answers.
Next, come the leaders. These are men of fearless determination and
infinite vision, that are able to herd any discussion in their favored
direction. Petition them for what the future will hold, and the
answers are always identical. Whether political, social, or economic,
it is always the fault of the liberal tribe, conservative tribe, or
various religious tribes, that things have gone awry. Ask directions
to the tent of the money changers, and they will direct thee into the
wilderness of politics.
Behind the wise men and leaders, come the chorus of yeah-sayers. These
are the disciples of the newsgroup wise men and leaders, who offer
approval or disapproval, without adding much worth reading. As they
value the words of the leaders and wise men highly, they always quote
them in their entirety, adding perhaps a few words. It never occurs
to them that none would value their approval or one-line contribution
at more than a fleeting camel fart.
Soon, behind the sandal tracks of the disciples, come the men of
graffiti. These are the defacers of sane discussions and lively
discourse, who would add idols, craven images, and suggestions of
physically impossible sexual acts more appropriate for a bus station
restroom, than the temple of the newsgroup oracles. While wise men
seek to walk upon the waters, the men of graffiti seek to walk or swim
in sewage.
Also, behind the disciples, come the artists of conversation. They
too aspire to be among the leaders or wise men, but lack the required
intelligence and attention span. Thus, they are condemned to offer
discourse in endless and alternating one line portions. While the
geometric designs produced by the dialog formatting is often artistic,
the lack of content makes artistic conversational formatting
unsuitable for decorating the newsgroup temple walls.
In the distance, the judges watch from afar. While not concerned with
the relative merits of the discussion, they serve to pass judgment
upon those that contribute and remind them of their station in life.
Politics, logic, answers, and even the defacing of the argument are of
little concern to the judges. What matters is the value of the
contributors, who need to be reminded that they are idiots, fools, or
members of the wrong tribe, thus invalidating their opinions and
comments.
From the distant lands, come the wanderers. These are scavengers of
long forgotten discussions, that were thought to have been dead and
buried, but have been raised from the dead. These men wander the
newsgroups and speed read the temple walls for items of interest.
Assisting the wanderers are the newsgroup priests, who specialize in
raising the dead arguments and performing miraculous leaps of faith.
It is said that usenet discussions never die, though they often
resemble the walking dead.
And the lord looked upon the usenet wasteland and proclaimed
"I have given unto thee a temple upon which thou may rant.
Instead, though hath turned my temple into a den of iniquity
and dung hole of misinformation. Unto thy ancestors, I
gave 10 commandments, but unto thee I shall give but one;
Thou shalt not post what thou also find unworthy of reading."
--
Jeff Liebermann je...@cruzio.com
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558
Ros...@gmail.com
> And the lord looked upon the usenet wasteland and proclaimed
> "I have given unto thee a temple upon which thou may rant.
> Instead, though hath turned my temple into a den of iniquity
> and dung hole of misinformation. Unto thy ancestors, I
> gave 10 commandments, but unto thee I shall give but one;
> Thou shalt not post what thou also find unworthy of reading."
>
> --
> Jeff Liebermann
This from "The Werewolf"
-Ethel and Barry-
A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood
tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.
Adlai E. Stevenson