Conservative Solutions to Sissy Liberal Problems
Leroy N. Soetoro
ral-problems/
I was thinking that while conservatives are concerned about important
things like terrorism and preserving freedom, liberals are always
worried about silly pansy-ass things. Maybe, though, to help them out,
we can try using our practical conservative know-how to solve them.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Global warming.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Destroy the sun.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Children have low self-esteem.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Drop children in the middle of enemy territory.
Those that make it back will have earned self-esteem.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Muslims feel unfairly discriminated against.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Forcefully convert them to Christianity.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Not enough support for the arts.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Classify monster trucks as art.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Endangered species.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Drop endangered species in the middle of enemy
territory. Those that make it back will be toughened up to help their
survival. All others probably deserved to go extinct.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Plastics don�t biodegrade.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Load plastics into rocket and fire them into the
sun. If we�ve destroyed the sun, fire rocket to moon. Nuke moon.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Polar Bears Dying.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Make coats from the bears before they die of
natural causes
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Global warming.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Reduce reflected solar energy. NUKE THE MOON !!!
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Global warming
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: make all sissy liberal suck on a tail pipe of an
SUV
SISSY LIBERAL �PROBLEM�: People are killed in SUV accidents.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Make automobile companies build awesome muscle
cars instead of SUVs.
SISSY LIBERAL �PROBLEM�: California is out of money.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: After moving any and all U.S. military personnel
out of the area; nuke San Francisco, and then make tons of money by
offering tours of an actual nuclear wasteland.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Children in school aren�t taking enough foreign
language credits CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Shoot everyone in the throat who
doesn�t speak English fluently
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: People aren�t paying enough attention to soccer
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Paint all soccer balls so they look like human
skulls. Build a castle out of them until we can replace it with the real
thing.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Teenagers having sex
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Give all fathers a shotgun. And a bunch of free
passes to the skeet range.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Legalization of marijuana
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Load pot heads into a large cannon and fire it
point blank into a brick wall with a sheet over it. Then, sell the sheet
as �Art�. This project will be self-funded as all conservative solutions
are.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Welfare supports poor people.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Draft everyone on welfare.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Marine Recruiting Stations
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Allow potential recruits to plink SISSY LIBERAL
protesters for target practice.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: "Social Justice"
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Cage Match
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Children have low self-esteem.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Teach them how to do something useful with their
lives.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Street crime
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Teach people self-defense starting in
kindergarten. Michelle Obama can be in charge of the new public schools'
bat'leth instruction program.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Liberal sheeple want queers in the military
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Don't ask, just get the shovel
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Global warming.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Destroy the sun by shooting Al Gore at it.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Global warming is anthropomorphic
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION:Load SISSY LIBERALS into a rocket, and
fire them into the sun.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Blah, blah, blah, a bunch of bs sissy liberal
talking points.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Pound on a sissy liberal.
Solve three problems at once:
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Global warming.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Iran is getting nukes.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: U.S. has too many nukes.
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Nuke Iran!
Nuclear winter will stop global warming cold. Iran�s nuclear program
will be radioactive dust, and the U.S. will reduce its nuclear arsenal
to under 1500 warheads.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Sarah Palin
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: President!!!
Newest sissy liberal problem: Too much drinking of bottled water.
Conservative Solution: Drink more bottled beer.
SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: �And a great storm of wind arose, and the waves
beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.� (climate
change)
CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: �And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to
the sea, �Peace! Be still!� And the wind ceased, and there was a great
calm. He said to them, �Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?� And they
were filled awe, and said to one another, �Who then is this, that even
wind and sea obey him?� (It sure isn�t Algore or Obama!)
Criminals:
Democrats: Give them a second chance.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The poor:
Democrats: Give them some food.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
Endangered species:
Democrats: Give them protection.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
Dictators:
Democrats: Give them a way out.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The uninsured:
Democrats: Give them health care.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
*The cost:
Democrats: $9,000,000,000,000,000,000
Republicans: $29.95 (cost of one sword)
--
Nancy Pelosi, Democrat criminal, accessory before and after the fact to
Rangel's tax evasion.
W Spilman
"Leroy N. Soetoro" <leroys...@usurper.org> wrote in message
news:Xns9CBB7A92A7...@202.177.16.121...
> http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/07/conservative-solutions-to-sissy-libe
> ral-problems/
> SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Children have low self-esteem.
> CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Drop children in the middle of enemy territory.
> Those that make it back will have earned self-esteem.
Boom! The end of Conservatism. They all
die right where you dropped them, no more
scared little children left to grow up and
become racist republicans.
WS
Alex DeLarge
> "Leroy N. Soetoro" <leroys...@usurper.org> wrote in message
> news:Xns9CBB7A92A7...@202.177.16.121...
>> http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/07/conservative-solutions-to-sissy-libe
>> ral-problems/
>
>
>> SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Children have low self-esteem.
>> CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Drop children in the middle of enemy territory.
>> Those that make it back will have earned self-esteem.
>
>
> Boom! The end of Conservatism.
Fuck off you scurrying "subject" of the mordant queen, back in your
moldy hut!
somefools
news:RH2Jm.1005$t92...@unlimited.newshosting.com:
>
> "Leroy N. Soetoro" <leroys...@usurper.org> wrote in message
> news:Xns9CBB7A92A7...@202.177.16.121...
>> http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/07/conservative-solutions-to-sissy-l
>> ibe ral-problems/
>
>
>> SISSY LIBERAL PROBLEM: Children have low self-esteem.
>> CONSERVATIVE SOLUTION: Drop children in the middle of enemy
>> territory. Those that make it back will have earned self-esteem.
>
>
> Boom! The end of Conservatism. They all
> die right where you dropped them, no more
> scared little children left to grow up and
> become racist republicans.
Now that makes sense. Every right-winger I've ever met has been
traumatized at some point in their early childhood, and just NEVER got
over it.
I think this is what leads to their authoritarian tendencies.
Grow up you babies, stop being afraid of everything.
The Wiz
Being dominated turned you queer.
ObamaNation is an Abomination
wrote:
Authoritarian?
The coon-in-charge and Piglosi have taken authoritarian control to new
depths. In the first year so far, nationalizing banks, and the auto
industry and trying to do the same with our medical system.
Authoritarian Adolf did the same thing, ya cunt.
Siva
Exactly, conservatives usually end up dying in the military instead.
(kinda like how US natural selection has been outsourced to the Middle
East!)
>
> HTH.
>