How to become President ...

[Telford Bonet]

“Rule number two is, Never be specific. Never commit yourself

to any definite plan or act, since you have no control over

the future and might not be able to fulfill your promises.

Thus, talk in generalities. Say you’re going to make things

better—but never say just how. Always point out what’s wrong

with the forest: but don’t think you have to say what you

would do to amend it. For instance, if the subject of a year

round water supply should come up—and I can assure you that

the eagle will bring it up—you can merely reply that you agree

wholeheartedly with that proposal and that, as President, you

will do your utmost to ensure that the project is initiated

and completed. You might want to throw a sop to the boars,

rabbits, deer, and whatever other species happens to be in

your audience by mentioning how their skill, enterprise, and

love of forest will overcome any obstacles. Get the idea? In

short, put on a bright happy face, speak enthusiastically,

sprinkle your speech with compliments to whoever is listening

to you, and give assurances of better days!"

--campaign advice from the snake to the ass

"The Polity of Beasts"

(Politics as you KNOW it is ...)