The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook
Liberals Are Morons
1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by soccer moms driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment for criminals, even
murderers, but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and
governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start
wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert
E.Lee and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and really a
very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a draft-dodging liar and sex offender belonged in the White
House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interests of the United
States.
21. You have to refuse to discuss the issues in a rational manner and
whenever someone attempts to do so, throw a 3 ring tantrum, rant and
rave, go into a lunatic rage and outshout them (preferably with
profanity and name-calling) and stick to personal slurs, smear
tactics, slander and building strawmen so you can knock down the
strawmen (oops, sorry, strawpersons) and hopefully sidetrack the
conversation away from your lack of ability to support your position.
22. You must always ignore the message and attack the messenger. When
stuck, remember the tactic that won't reveal your inability to think
or say anything original: smugly change a couple of your adversaries
words' and repeat their comments back to them verbatim and even if it
isn't true, by all means always
be sure to accuse your opponents of using the very tactics the
Leftwing Liberals try to hide, remembering all the while that Lenin
would be proud.
23. No matter how credible a source may be - always do your Leftwing
Liberal duty and rabidly claim it's been debunked and discredited and
call anyone who believes it "mean spirited", crazy, a Nazi or any
other of the monikers from the Leftwing Liberal grab bag of infantile
epithets and sarcastic sobriquets.
24. Whenever demonstrated facts don't agree with your agenda, twist
them and mangle them until you can make them fit into your prejudices,
the media will assist you greatly.
25. Once you've told a lie or slandered someone, be sure to repeat it
as often as possible until it becomes true. "Members and front
organizations must continually embarrass, discredit and degrade our
critics. When obstructionists become too irritating, label them as
fascist, or Nazi or anti-Semitic .... The association will, after
enough repetition, become "fact" in the public mind." [ ~ Communist
Party, Moscow Central Committee, 1943]
26. You have to believe that all spirituality and all religions except
Islam are bad.
27. You have to use the following buzzwords as often as possible:
"Nazi", "Hitler", "Gestapo", "police state", "totalitarian state",
"imperialism", "imperialist", "greedy corporations", "shrub",
"fascist", "paranoid", "goose-stepping", "ruling-class",
"class-strife", "class warfare", "stolen election", "racist",
"entitlements", "hate", "bourgeois" or better yet, "petty bourgeois",
"counter-revolutionary", "progressive", "red-baiter",
"anti-Communist", "deviationist", "revisionist", "reactionary",
"multiculturalism", "oppressed", "victims of Yankee oppression",
"plight of the [fill in the blank] people", "mean-spirited",
"McCarthyism", "jingoism", "flag-wavers", "neocons" and, of course,
overuse of the indispensable "F"
word.
28. You have to believe that there were never any weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq, even though they were used against Iran, the
Kurds and the the Iraqi people and even though the many Democrats
warned us about WMD before the Iraqi invasion: William Jefferson
Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Sandy Berger, Madeline Albright, Senators
Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, Robert Byrd, Jay Rockefeller, John Kerry, Bob
Graham, Ted Kennedy, Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman and
vice-president Al Gore to name only the most vociferous.
29. You have to be a purveyor of perennial pessimism and a dispatcher
of doomsday gloom and hyperbolic hysteria whenever you can work some
scare tactics into the foreboding warnings of eventual catastrophe at
the hands of your adversaries, i.e. people who disagree with you.
30. Whenever possible, if you hear or read something that seems quite
logical and might influence someone against the Leftwing Liberal
viewpoint, be sure to pounce on the exception or some tiny,
inconsequential irrelevancy, such as the misspelling, poor punctuation
or mispronunciation of a word, unusual facial expression, article of
clothing or some morsel of arcane trivia or irrelevant minutia in an
attempt to derail the conversation into petty bickering replete with
name-calling and personal slurs. [Use of the "F" word
is particularly effective, especially when combined with prepubescent
profanity and puerile posturing.]
31. Always have unkind and accusatory slurs cocked and ready to use
regarding any armed forces personnel, especially military people in
harm's way other than your own candidates, sell-outs, turncoats,
traitors and those who are guilty of or advocate treason.
32. When your adversary presents a particularly damning discovery,
pervert it, twist it around, fabricate something out of thin air and
accuse him of something he didn't say, falsely attribute your
invention to him and then proceed to argue against your own creation
with the hope nobody will notice. This is best done by beginning your
remarks with "in other words" or "so what you are suggesting" or "are
you saying that..." followed by the most implausible, irrelevant non
sequitur you can fantasize.
33. You have to remember that nobody but your adversaries, real or
imagined are ever to blame for anything and no one should ever be
accountable or held responsible for their words or actions - they're
just misunderstood.
34. You have to be a victim of as many forms of melodrama as possible
and be ever vigilant to promote victimization of almost anything and
anyone although that's very difficult to reconcile with the assertion
that nobody's to blame for anything, except the people who don't agree
with you.
35. You must always have Double Standards, a higher standard that you
demand of corporations as well as people you don't like and people who
don't agree with you and another set for yourself and your Leftwing
Liberal confederates which is preferably no standards at all.
36. You must with all your heart and soul hate America and Americans
and bash them at every opportunity, while claiming you love America
though you contend that American patriots are really traitors.
37. You must always remember that you are a member of the grown up 4-H
and it is incumbent on you to always display their watchwords:
hallucinations, hyperbole, hysteria and hate.
38. You have to believe that just because your candidate lost an
election (by all means shriek "election fraud" or "stolen election")
or an unacceptable law was passed there's always the possibility of
going to court to get your way in spite of the electorate and their
congressional delegates.
39. You are always to belittle and deride concepts such as optimism,
patriotism, honor, honesty, faithfulness, fidelity, loyalty, courage,
bravery, principles, trust, trustworthiness, reliability,
responsibility,
respect, common-courtesy, common decency, kindness, Good Samaritanism,
sacrifice, patience, fortitude, values, integrity and character as
being naive and passe. Call anyone who uses those words, "judgmental"
and "intolerant".
40. You are encouraged to lionize, venerate, yea, worship sloth, lust,
self-centeredness, selfishness, instant gratification, slander,
criminal behavior, drug addiction, degenerate behavior, promiscuous
sex, lewd remarks and behavior, rudeness, crudeness, crassness, smutty
language, vulgarity of all kinds, disrespect for authority, laws, law
enforcement and military while showing respect for prostitution, drug
dealing, gang-bangers, organized crime, pornography and generally
everything that would aid in tearing down the social fabric of the
United States of America and all she stands for.
41. Be sure to exhibit incessant anger at America and Americans in
general and rage at conservatives, centrists and anyone who doesn't
agree with your ideas.
42. You must be "politically correct" when it suits your purpose and
point out that political correctness is a form of freedom rather than
more mind-control, but, it's more important to demand that others be
politically correct" than actually follow those demands yourself.
43. You must always offer praise and/or excuses for all of America's
enemies, especially terrorists who aren't really murdering cowards,
but, rather multiculturally misunderstood.
44. Remember to claim that the flag is only a piece of cloth and
stands for nothing while you explain how you love America and that's
why hurl hateful epithets regarding America and Americans, especially
those who disagree with you.
45. Whenever someone says something that rubs your prejudgments the
wrong way, ignore the contents of the remarks and vilify, defame,
malign and slander that person while claiming everything that person
has ever said or will ever utter is wrong. You are encouraged to take
cheap shots and engage in name-calling and ad hominem attacks, but,
above all, if you're a true standard-bearer for the Leftwing Liberals,
avoid discussing issues you can't debate - which are, of course, all
of them.
46. Honor multiculturalism and know it's "truths": "Multiculturalism,
n. The doctrine that persons of European ancestry are morally
inferior to all other human beings." ~ John Derbyshire, inspired by
Ambrose Bierce and his _Devil's Dictionary_
47. When confronted with something that is critical of Leftwing
Liberals, read or listen to one or two lines and jump to conclusions
(it's the best exercise many Leftwing Liberals get) that the beginning
was awful (meaning it might ask a Leftwing Liberal to actually think
or to look at Leftwing Liberals in an uncomplimentary light) - and
claim you didn't bother to read the rest or listen to the remainder
all the while claiming to be open-minded.
48. You must take it as your sworn duty to do your utmost to prevent
people from printing, voicing, writing or otherwise disseminating any
communication which is either unfavorable to or not in agreement with
Leftwing Liberal dogma and you must also strictly enforce Political
Correctness, while at the same time doing your best to muzzle and
silence those who don't agree with you. Tell adversaries to "Do as I
say, and I'll do as I please!" This is not censorship, hypocrisy or
Double Standards, but rather, "Freedom of Speech" an important
Constitutional Amendment written to give Leftwing Liberals their
God-given rights, even if they renounce and don't believe in God.
49. If you don't agree with the points of others, under no
circumstances should you present a rational counter argument or
discuss the issue itself when it is much more effective to call people
liars and cast aspersions on their veracity. This is also effective if
a person makes a mistake, don't overlook or excuse the error or admit
there was a possibility of a mistake - call them liars ferociously,
unless it's a petty sideline mistake that will help you construct
smoke and mirrors, in that case see Article #30 above.
50. Conservatives suggest that people should "hate the sin, love the
sinner". Remember, as a Leftwing Liberal you must always hate the
sinner [person or corporation who doesn't agree with you] and love the
sin as all sins are "relative" and finding anything wrong with them is
"judgmental". This may be difficult to grasp at first glance since
Leftwing Liberals don't believe in "sin" [unless it's being applied
via Double Standard, see Article #35, toward corporations or people
who don't agree with us] except for hypocrisy which is the only sin,
when applied to our opponents and one of the most effective slurs in
our arsenal. See Article #54
51. You must never be willing to take the consequences of your own
actions or words or expect your confederates to do the same as long as
you can unjustly lay the blame on someone else. But, of course, it is
critical that you demand that people who don't agree with your ideas
be held to strict adherence of taking the consequences of their
actions: See Article #35 above regarding nurturing our trademark:
Double Standards.
52. When asked to give citations, sources or support for your
propaganda, you can do one of 4 things: Use secondary sources
[McClatchy] which give "expert" Leftwing Liberal opinion on the
primary sources when they're not ignoring them, taking phrases out of
context, twisting their words or perverting their meaning; make an
official-looking, bogus website with the fake "facts" you've
presented; refer them to a propaganda site that may or may not support
your claims or the third and preferred solution is to give them the
URL of an official or universally accepted website and claim
vehemently that the so-called information you've invented, created or
faked is from that website though anyone who looks won't find it
there.
53. Remember, "A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his
fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money." ~ G.
Gordon Liddy
54. You have to support and promote socialized medicine as "Socialized
medicine is based on the belief that, while individual bankruptcy by
medical bills is tragic and wicked, bankrupting the entire country is
beneficial and noble." ~ Nicolas Martin ["If you think health care is
expensive now, wait 'til you see how much it costs when it's free."] ~
P. J. O'Rourke
55. When your adversaries make statements that ring true, seem logical
or appear to have merit, ask them completely irrelevant non sequitur
questions in an attempt to evade the issue and derail the
conversation. If that doesn't work, announce with all due grandiosity
that your opponents refuse to answer your questions or give cites,
therefore, they cannot support their assertions. This ploy of course
won't work with people who can think, but, it will bring Leftwing
Liberals and the lunatic fringe out of the woodwork to jump on your
bellicose, bungling bandwagon.
56. You must always point out vociferously and incessantly that the
reason any conservative's failing is always major news is that it
allows liberals to engage in their very favorite taunt: "Hypocrisy!"
Hypocrisy is the only sin that really inflames us Leftwing Liberals
and, of course, only applies to others because Liberals can always
invoke the time-honored Double Standard. Inasmuch as Leftwing Liberals
have no moral principles, we can sit back, march, or otherwise create
a ruckus as we criticize other people for failing to meet the
standards that liberals simply renounce. It's an intriguing strategy.
By openly admitting to being philanderers, draft dodgers, liars,
weasels and cowards, liberals avoid ever being hypocrites. Remember,
admission that morals and ethics are passe always gets you off the
hook - but, do not hesitate to point out the immorality or unethical
behavior of people who don't agree with Leftwing Liberals.
57. Remember, as a cheerleader for decadence, when any despot,
criminal or maniac is treated in any way differently from the way he
treated others, it's your sworn duty to shriek to the heavens that he
isn't being treated with dignity and is being embarrassed in spite of
the fact he may have raped, tortured, maimed and slaughtered others;
as a Leftwing Liberal you must remain silent about the victims of
despots, criminals and maniacs. The victims got what they deserved and
despots, criminals and maniacs are to be honored, lionized, venerated
and if they're bad enough, worshipped.
58. As a Leftwing Liberal, you must believe that all America foreign
policy must have the unanimous approval of France, Russia, Syria,
Cuba, Communist China and the United Nations. KM
59. You must learn to be agile at pulling the old Leftwing Liberal
Switcheroo. Naturally in normal discourse, you must incessantly and
nauseatingly bash your country, slur and slander the founding fathers,
calling them terrorists and murderers, disparage all religions except
Islam, denounce all military institutions and personnel, chide all
people who have moral convictions and on and on [See articles 1-58];
but, remember, when trying to win a petty bickering match, employ the
Leftwing Liberal Switcheroo - which means dropping your old mantras
and immediately feigning to embrace your opponents' views momentarily
and don the mask of reverence for those you hate, but know you
adversary admires. If you are successful
enough in public discourse and exhibit it with enough frequency, you
may be eligible to win a toaster from The Leftwing Liberal Liberty
Lobby.
60. You, as a Leftwing Liberal, have to believe that all of the above
is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.
Yul Tolbert
This "The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook" exemplifies
just the kind of commentary I need to help shatter the stereotype that
all zinesters think in the same "anti-establishment radical" mode. If
anyone wants to send me their "conservative" rants for publication in
Zine Solar system, please contact me soon. My snail mail is P.O. Box
02222, Detroit, MI 48202-9998. And my e-mail address is
yul_t...@yahoo.com
Doug Haxton
Morons) wrote:
>The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook
>
>1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
>federal funding.
Of course not.
>
>2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
>graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
>about sex.
Actually, I support vouchers as a solution to the public school
problem. No points.
>
>3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
>are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
>of Chinese and North Korean communists.
Of course not.
>
>4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
Of course not.
>
>5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
>cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
>by soccer moms driving SUVs.
While I believe that the threat of global warming is greatly
exaggerated, there does appear to be *some* human-induced climate
change. I guess I score half a point.
>
>6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
>homosexual is natural.
Some gender roles are artificial, and some aren't. The vast majority
of research seems to indicate that homosexuality is largely natural.
1 point.
>
>7. You have to be against capital punishment for criminals, even
>murderers, but support abortion on demand.
I fully support both capital punishment *and* abortion. 1/2 point.
>
>8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and
>governments create prosperity.
Of course not.
>
>9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
>activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
Of course not.
>
>10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
>actually doing something to earn it.
Of course not.
>
>11. You have to believe that the military, not politicians, start
>wars.
Of course not.
>
>12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
>parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
>certain parts of the Constitution.
The NRA is good. ACLU is sometimes good, sometimes bad. 1/4 point.
>
>13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
>high.
Well, I'm not fond of ATM fees, but they have the right to charge
them. No points.
>
>14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
>more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert
>E.Lee and Thomas Edison.
Of course not.
>
>15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
>quotas and set-asides are not.
Of course not.
>
>16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal, and really a
>very nice person.
Not as far as I can tell...
>
>17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
>anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
>charge.
Of course not.
>
>18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
>jail, but a draft-dodging liar and sex offender belonged in the White
>House.
The reference to Slick Willie is obvious, but I'm not getting the
first part. No points.
>
>19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
>transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
>manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
Homosexual parades *are* constitutionally protected...ever hear of
free speech? BTW, I don't recall ever reading of bestiality being
performed in a parade. As for manger scenes, they aren't illegal.
You want to put one up in your yard or church? Feel free to do
so...but not on government property. I don't want government involved
in religion...period. 1 point.
>
>20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
>Chinese government is somehow in the best interests of the United
>States.
Of course not.
>
>21. You have to refuse to discuss the issues in a rational manner and
>whenever someone attempts to do so, throw a 3 ring tantrum, rant and
>rave, go into a lunatic rage and outshout them (preferably with
>profanity and name-calling) and stick to personal slurs, smear
>tactics, slander and building strawmen so you can knock down the
>strawmen (oops, sorry, strawpersons) and hopefully sidetrack the
>conversation away from your lack of ability to support your position.
Um, are you asserting that conservatives never do this as well? Both
sides have their nutbars.
>
>22. You must always ignore the message and attack the messenger. When
>stuck, remember the tactic that won't reveal your inability to think
>or say anything original: smugly change a couple of your adversaries
>words' and repeat their comments back to them verbatim and even if it
>isn't true, by all means always
>be sure to accuse your opponents of using the very tactics the
>Leftwing Liberals try to hide, remembering all the while that Lenin
>would be proud.
See above.
>
>23. No matter how credible a source may be - always do your Leftwing
>Liberal duty and rabidly claim it's been debunked and discredited and
>call anyone who believes it "mean spirited", crazy, a Nazi or any
>other of the monikers from the Leftwing Liberal grab bag of infantile
>epithets and sarcastic sobriquets.
Again, see above.
>
>24. Whenever demonstrated facts don't agree with your agenda, twist
>them and mangle them until you can make them fit into your prejudices,
>the media will assist you greatly.
And again...
>
>25. Once you've told a lie or slandered someone, be sure to repeat it
>as often as possible until it becomes true. "Members and front
>organizations must continually embarrass, discredit and degrade our
>critics. When obstructionists become too irritating, label them as
>fascist, or Nazi or anti-Semitic .... The association will, after
>enough repetition, become "fact" in the public mind." [ ~ Communist
>Party, Moscow Central Committee, 1943]
Ditto.
>
>26. You have to believe that all spirituality and all religions except
>Islam are bad.
I think that all spirituality and religions are by definition
irrational. Since I'm not giving a pass to Islam, 3/4 point.
>
>27. You have to use the following buzzwords as often as possible:
>"Nazi", "Hitler", "Gestapo", "police state", "totalitarian state",
>"imperialism", "imperialist", "greedy corporations", "shrub",
>"fascist", "paranoid", "goose-stepping", "ruling-class",
>"class-strife", "class warfare", "stolen election", "racist",
>"entitlements", "hate", "bourgeois" or better yet, "petty bourgeois",
>"counter-revolutionary", "progressive", "red-baiter",
>"anti-Communist", "deviationist", "revisionist", "reactionary",
>"multiculturalism", "oppressed", "victims of Yankee oppression",
>"plight of the [fill in the blank] people", "mean-spirited",
>"McCarthyism", "jingoism", "flag-wavers", "neocons" and, of course,
>overuse of the indispensable "F"
>word.
Nope.
>
>28. You have to believe that there were never any weapons of mass
>destruction in Iraq, even though they were used against Iran, the
>Kurds and the the Iraqi people and even though the many Democrats
>warned us about WMD before the Iraqi invasion: William Jefferson
>Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Sandy Berger, Madeline Albright, Senators
>Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, Robert Byrd, Jay Rockefeller, John Kerry, Bob
>Graham, Ted Kennedy, Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman and
>vice-president Al Gore to name only the most vociferous.
It's starting to look as if Sadaam did in fact get rid of his WMD's
before the invasion. Since I still support the invasion (for a host
of other reasons), I won't give myself any points.
>
>29. You have to be a purveyor of perennial pessimism and a dispatcher
>of doomsday gloom and hyperbolic hysteria whenever you can work some
>scare tactics into the foreboding warnings of eventual catastrophe at
>the hands of your adversaries, i.e. people who disagree with you.
Like conservatives don't do this about the culture, i.e., gay
marriage? In any case, *I* don't, so no points.
>
>30. Whenever possible, if you hear or read something that seems quite
>logical and might influence someone against the Leftwing Liberal
>viewpoint, be sure to pounce on the exception or some tiny,
>inconsequential irrelevancy, such as the misspelling, poor punctuation
>or mispronunciation of a word, unusual facial expression, article of
>clothing or some morsel of arcane trivia or irrelevant minutia in an
>attempt to derail the conversation into petty bickering replete with
>name-calling and personal slurs. [Use of the "F" word
>is particularly effective, especially when combined with prepubescent
>profanity and puerile posturing.]
Again, both sides do this. I don't (or at least I try not to).
>
>31. Always have unkind and accusatory slurs cocked and ready to use
>regarding any armed forces personnel, especially military people in
>harm's way other than your own candidates, sell-outs, turncoats,
>traitors and those who are guilty of or advocate treason.
Nope.
>
>32. When your adversary presents a particularly damning discovery,
>pervert it, twist it around, fabricate something out of thin air and
>accuse him of something he didn't say, falsely attribute your
>invention to him and then proceed to argue against your own creation
>with the hope nobody will notice. This is best done by beginning your
>remarks with "in other words" or "so what you are suggesting" or "are
>you saying that..." followed by the most implausible, irrelevant non
>sequitur you can fantasize.
Yet again, something both sides do.
>
>33. You have to remember that nobody but your adversaries, real or
>imagined are ever to blame for anything and no one should ever be
>accountable or held responsible for their words or actions - they're
>just misunderstood.
"Mel Gibson didn't make an antisemetic movie...he's just
misunderstood."
Yet again, something *both* sides do.
>
>34. You have to be a victim of as many forms of melodrama as possible
>and be ever vigilant to promote victimization of almost anything and
>anyone although that's very difficult to reconcile with the assertion
>that nobody's to blame for anything, except the people who don't agree
>with you.
Yet again...
>
>35. You must always have Double Standards, a higher standard that you
>demand of corporations as well as people you don't like and people who
>don't agree with you and another set for yourself and your Leftwing
>Liberal confederates which is preferably no standards at all.
And again...
>
>36. You must with all your heart and soul hate America and Americans
>and bash them at every opportunity, while claiming you love America
>though you contend that American patriots are really traitors.
Of course not.
>
>37. You must always remember that you are a member of the grown up 4-H
>and it is incumbent on you to always display their watchwords:
>hallucinations, hyperbole, hysteria and hate.
Once again, something both sides indulge in.
>
>38. You have to believe that just because your candidate lost an
>election (by all means shriek "election fraud" or "stolen election")
>or an unacceptable law was passed there's always the possibility of
>going to court to get your way in spite of the electorate and their
>congressional delegates.
Nope.
>
>39. You are always to belittle and deride concepts such as optimism,
>patriotism, honor, honesty, faithfulness, fidelity, loyalty, courage,
>bravery, principles, trust, trustworthiness, reliability,
>responsibility,
>respect, common-courtesy, common decency, kindness, Good Samaritanism,
>sacrifice, patience, fortitude, values, integrity and character as
>being naive and passe. Call anyone who uses those words, "judgmental"
>and "intolerant".
Nope.
>
>40. You are encouraged to lionize, venerate, yea, worship sloth, lust,
>self-centeredness, selfishness, instant gratification, slander,
>criminal behavior, drug addiction, degenerate behavior, promiscuous
>sex, lewd remarks and behavior, rudeness, crudeness, crassness, smutty
>language, vulgarity of all kinds, disrespect for authority, laws, law
>enforcement and military while showing respect for prostitution, drug
>dealing, gang-bangers, organized crime, pornography and generally
>everything that would aid in tearing down the social fabric of the
>United States of America and all she stands for.
I thought it was only a Liberal who would be a "purveyor of perennial
pessimism and a dispatcher of doomsday gloom and hyperbolic hysteria
whenever you can work some scare tactics into the foreboding warnings
of eventual catastrophe"?
In any case, I support the right of people to be as self-centered,
selfish, drug addicted, and promiscuous as they want to be. I suppose
I'll have to give myself 1 point.
>
>41. Be sure to exhibit incessant anger at America and Americans in
>general and rage at conservatives, centrists and anyone who doesn't
>agree with your ideas.
Nope. Not that conservatives *ever* do this, of course...
>
>42. You must be "politically correct" when it suits your purpose and
>point out that political correctness is a form of freedom rather than
>more mind-control, but, it's more important to demand that others be
>politically correct" than actually follow those demands yourself.
Nope.
>
>43. You must always offer praise and/or excuses for all of America's
>enemies, especially terrorists who aren't really murdering cowards,
>but, rather multiculturally misunderstood.
Nope. Wax 'em all.
>
>44. Remember to claim that the flag is only a piece of cloth and
>stands for nothing while you explain how you love America and that's
>why hurl hateful epithets regarding America and Americans, especially
>those who disagree with you.
If someone wants to burn a flag, let 'em. It's (presumably) their own
private property, and it's theirs to do with as they will. I'm not
running around making hateful epithets, though...3/4 point.
>
>45. Whenever someone says something that rubs your prejudgments the
>wrong way, ignore the contents of the remarks and vilify, defame,
>malign and slander that person while claiming everything that person
>has ever said or will ever utter is wrong. You are encouraged to take
>cheap shots and engage in name-calling and ad hominem attacks, but,
>above all, if you're a true standard-bearer for the Leftwing Liberals,
>avoid discussing issues you can't debate - which are, of course, all
>of them.
See the (many) above, yet another that both sides can indulge in.
>
>46. Honor multiculturalism and know it's "truths": "Multiculturalism,
>n. The doctrine that persons of European ancestry are morally
>inferior to all other human beings." ~ John Derbyshire, inspired by
>Ambrose Bierce and his _Devil's Dictionary_
Nope.
>
>47. When confronted with something that is critical of Leftwing
>Liberals, read or listen to one or two lines and jump to conclusions
>(it's the best exercise many Leftwing Liberals get) that the beginning
>was awful (meaning it might ask a Leftwing Liberal to actually think
>or to look at Leftwing Liberals in an uncomplimentary light) - and
>claim you didn't bother to read the rest or listen to the remainder
>all the while claiming to be open-minded.
Yet another.
>
>48. You must take it as your sworn duty to do your utmost to prevent
>people from printing, voicing, writing or otherwise disseminating any
>communication which is either unfavorable to or not in agreement with
>Leftwing Liberal dogma and you must also strictly enforce Political
>Correctness, while at the same time doing your best to muzzle and
>silence those who don't agree with you. Tell adversaries to "Do as I
>say, and I'll do as I please!" This is not censorship, hypocrisy or
>Double Standards, but rather, "Freedom of Speech" an important
>Constitutional Amendment written to give Leftwing Liberals their
>God-given rights, even if they renounce and don't believe in God.
No, but I don't think that rights are God-given. 1/4 point.
>
>49. If you don't agree with the points of others, under no
>circumstances should you present a rational counter argument or
>discuss the issue itself when it is much more effective to call people
>liars and cast aspersions on their veracity. This is also effective if
>a person makes a mistake, don't overlook or excuse the error or admit
>there was a possibility of a mistake - call them liars ferociously,
>unless it's a petty sideline mistake that will help you construct
>smoke and mirrors, in that case see Article #30 above.
Yet again...
>
>50. Conservatives suggest that people should "hate the sin, love the
>sinner". Remember, as a Leftwing Liberal you must always hate the
>sinner [person or corporation who doesn't agree with you] and love the
>sin as all sins are "relative" and finding anything wrong with them is
>"judgmental". This may be difficult to grasp at first glance since
>Leftwing Liberals don't believe in "sin" [unless it's being applied
>via Double Standard, see Article #35, toward corporations or people
>who don't agree with us] except for hypocrisy which is the only sin,
>when applied to our opponents and one of the most effective slurs in
>our arsenal. See Article #54
No.
>
>51. You must never be willing to take the consequences of your own
>actions or words or expect your confederates to do the same as long as
>you can unjustly lay the blame on someone else. But, of course, it is
>critical that you demand that people who don't agree with your ideas
>be held to strict adherence of taking the consequences of their
>actions: See Article #35 above regarding nurturing our trademark:
>Double Standards.
Yet again.
>
>52. When asked to give citations, sources or support for your
>propaganda, you can do one of 4 things: Use secondary sources
>[McClatchy] which give "expert" Leftwing Liberal opinion on the
>primary sources when they're not ignoring them, taking phrases out of
>context, twisting their words or perverting their meaning; make an
>official-looking, bogus website with the fake "facts" you've
>presented; refer them to a propaganda site that may or may not support
>your claims or the third and preferred solution is to give them the
>URL of an official or universally accepted website and claim
>vehemently that the so-called information you've invented, created or
>faked is from that website though anyone who looks won't find it
>there.
Yet again.
>
>53. Remember, "A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his
>fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money." ~ G.
>Gordon Liddy
Nope.
>
>54. You have to support and promote socialized medicine as "Socialized
>medicine is based on the belief that, while individual bankruptcy by
>medical bills is tragic and wicked, bankrupting the entire country is
>beneficial and noble." ~ Nicolas Martin ["If you think health care is
>expensive now, wait 'til you see how much it costs when it's free."] ~
>P. J. O'Rourke
Nope.
>
>55. When your adversaries make statements that ring true, seem logical
>or appear to have merit, ask them completely irrelevant non sequitur
>questions in an attempt to evade the issue and derail the
>conversation. If that doesn't work, announce with all due grandiosity
>that your opponents refuse to answer your questions or give cites,
>therefore, they cannot support their assertions. This ploy of course
>won't work with people who can think, but, it will bring Leftwing
>Liberals and the lunatic fringe out of the woodwork to jump on your
>bellicose, bungling bandwagon.
Yet again.
>
>56. You must always point out vociferously and incessantly that the
>reason any conservative's failing is always major news is that it
>allows liberals to engage in their very favorite taunt: "Hypocrisy!"
>Hypocrisy is the only sin that really inflames us Leftwing Liberals
>and, of course, only applies to others because Liberals can always
>invoke the time-honored Double Standard. Inasmuch as Leftwing Liberals
>have no moral principles, we can sit back, march, or otherwise create
>a ruckus as we criticize other people for failing to meet the
>standards that liberals simply renounce. It's an intriguing strategy.
>By openly admitting to being philanderers, draft dodgers, liars,
>weasels and cowards, liberals avoid ever being hypocrites. Remember,
>admission that morals and ethics are passe always gets you off the
>hook - but, do not hesitate to point out the immorality or unethical
>behavior of people who don't agree with Leftwing Liberals.
Nope.
>
>57. Remember, as a cheerleader for decadence, when any despot,
>criminal or maniac is treated in any way differently from the way he
>treated others, it's your sworn duty to shriek to the heavens that he
>isn't being treated with dignity and is being embarrassed in spite of
>the fact he may have raped, tortured, maimed and slaughtered others;
>as a Leftwing Liberal you must remain silent about the victims of
>despots, criminals and maniacs. The victims got what they deserved and
>despots, criminals and maniacs are to be honored, lionized, venerated
>and if they're bad enough, worshipped.
Nope.
>
>58. As a Leftwing Liberal, you must believe that all America foreign
>policy must have the unanimous approval of France, Russia, Syria,
>Cuba, Communist China and the United Nations. KM
Nope.
>
>59. You must learn to be agile at pulling the old Leftwing Liberal
>Switcheroo. Naturally in normal discourse, you must incessantly and
>nauseatingly bash your country, slur and slander the founding fathers,
>calling them terrorists and murderers, disparage all religions except
>Islam, denounce all military institutions and personnel, chide all
>people who have moral convictions and on and on [See articles 1-58];
>but, remember, when trying to win a petty bickering match, employ the
>Leftwing Liberal Switcheroo - which means dropping your old mantras
>and immediately feigning to embrace your opponents' views momentarily
>and don the mask of reverence for those you hate, but know you
>adversary admires. If you are successful
>enough in public discourse and exhibit it with enough frequency, you
>may be eligible to win a toaster from The Leftwing Liberal Liberty
>Lobby.
Nope.
>
>60. You, as a Leftwing Liberal, have to believe that all of the above
>is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.
Nope.
Hm...of the 60 pointers, I have to throw out 19 of them, as they can
apply to both sides. Out of a now possible 41 points, I scored 6
points, so I guess I'm pretty conservative by this standard.
And yet somehow I suspect I wouldn't be very fond of the person who
came up this list...
Doug
TomHendricks474
I've suggested in Musea that the US should get out of the American Idol
business, and stop trying to fund specific artists or even art groups.
They would do a much greater service by funding ART CENTERS where artists from
that community could do anything they want : show art, have lectures, have
meetings, put on plays, films, concerts, readings etc.
Plus it would be a place for touring artists to perform at times during the
week too.
They should facilitate the growth of art, not push any artists on the public.
Tom Hendricks, Musea zine ed.
http://musea.digitalchainsaw.com"
Musea GUARANTEES every musician, painter, writer, etc.
a REVIEW - a tough review - a fair review.
Contact me for our policy, and samples
Zippy the Pinhead
>>The Politically Correct Leftwing Liberal Handbook
>>
>>1. You have to believe......
> ...
>Hm...of the 60 pointers, I have to throw out 19 of them, as they can
>apply to both sides. Out of a now possible 41 points, I scored 6
>points, so I guess I'm pretty conservative by this standard.
>
>And yet somehow I suspect I wouldn't be very fond of the person who
>came up this list...
If everyone who reads this "handbook" feels equally compelled to take
the quiz publicly, we're in for some very boring reading indeed.
Haxton, you've delusions of relevance.
Dan
Why should government have anything to do with art?
-dan
Doug Haxton
Hey, I'm home sick with a cold, I've already read 3 novels and I'm
bored.
>
>Haxton, you've delusions of relevance.
This is the usenet...*none* of this is particularly relevant.
Doug
Doug