I apologize.

[Jesus Christ]

Unfortunately I am from Canada and so the word "sorry" comes out a lot
but here in Canada one says they are sorry when they mean: "Sorry, I
do not have a smoke, but if I did have a smoke I would certainly give
you one, sorry." Thus not to be confused with saying sorry for action.
A samuri thing.

So I am sorry, I do not have the luxury of my own internet terminal in
which I have plenty of time to draft, re-write and correct all the
errors. Like I said Renli, a single stroke of the quill. But again, as
a testiment to my perfection, it goes a long way to messing with the
assholes. They do not like to think as thinking, apparently, is very
unZen.

So how did I get here in Gitmo? Got in an argument with teh Dalia
Lama. You see, it was a discussion over an apple. I say apple he he
had some sort of crazy word in Tibetianese for it and science says
'it' is a cellular firbrous material comprised of mostly water and
accented by aromma and flavour due to the particular make up of the
bearing tree.

Anyway, based on these things alone we decided to war. Even though
nothing would change the isness of the apple, the golden in the sun,
it seems the word was more important than what it is. And more
importantly than that who made up the word. Some would even be put to
death over this.

So, in support of my argument, I took out a needle and began stabbing
the Dalia Lama in the arm until he wne red repelled in agony, cried
out some words very forceful words in Tibetianese which I did not
understand.

After he did this I asked him to say "Fuck." He refused and in fact
was insulted being that Fuck is a profane word.

Later that day, I was walking with the Dalia Lama and hit my knee on a
corner of a bench. I cried out: Holy mother-fucker shit god damn son
of a bitch!"

He kicked me out.

I never have had much luck with the Lamas. Just like the time after I
was tortured and crucified and found myself ripped and torn asunder
walking through the desert. In the distance, I saw what I though was
first a mirage, but soon materialized as the Buddha sitting under his
favorite enlightenment tree.

When I stood before him, he did not rise but just sat there. He looked
up at my torn body and smiled.

"Who in Hell are you?" I asked.

"I am Buddha, the source of all things. I am the radiant light, the
reason the bird flies in the air and the fish swims in the stream."

So I picked that smiling piece of shit up and beat him to death.

And that is where the saying came from.

Cheers!
Tim