I have NEVER had a girlfriend. Will someone give me some helpful advice on how to find someone compatible?
Jaybird
Thanks for any advice you give me.
I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
little shy & very unexperienced.
So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
them going?
Jaybird
P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
responses as much as my email.
If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
to get to know me, please write soon! : )
arja...@csupomona.edu
8trax
OH COME COME NOW!!!! Aren't you the same pathetic shit that wanted to kill
himself last week?
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE??!!!!!!!
axus
Jaybird wrote:
> Thanks for any advice you give me.
> I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> little shy & very unexperienced.
> So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> them going?
> Jaybird
Its you again! OK, more stuff then.
First, form friendships WITHOUT the presumption of romance. Don't
expect too much out of this newgroup, if you want to try the cyber
approach try one of those penpal pages advertised here. In real life,
you can't real meet someone you don't know(paradox?). OK,what you need
is a connection, ask any friends you have if they know any girls that
would like a blind date. Probably not, but of course try that. Meet
your friends friends and their female friends friends, and never presume
romantic interest until you get to talk to someone. Beg your friends to
set you up on blind dates if you are indiscriminate. I'm most happy
knowing what I want, and ain't seeing anybody because I'm too picky.
Here's my story: MEETING my first girlfriend was thru luck, I did not
want a Gfriend at all because I had zero faith in all people.
Fortunately she liked me and called me enough times to talk that I liked
talking to her and was interested. She was very nice, if not a little
troubled. She was cute too, lucky me. I believe she figured out what
she wanted in life by having an honest boyfriend and 'outgrew' me, and I
figured it was time to cut her loose after a year, and ask her to be
just friends. Of course its all highly embarassing that my MOM tried to
set me up with someone I'd never met before and that's how she got my
number, but thats what happened, so I believe in the blind date idea
(just have it be someone not your mom who sets you up).
Lonni J Friedman
Jaybird wrote:
>
> Thanks for any advice you give me.
> I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> little shy & very unexperienced.
> So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> them going?
> Jaybird
>
> responses as much as my email.
>
> If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
> to get to know me, please write soon! : )
> arja...@csupomona.edu
Why look its that same stupid loser who was threatening suicide a few
weeks back. And the same guy who posted "i want sex" messages before
that. This guy is so pathetic, and to think that he fooled so many of
you with his sad cry for help. He's just another fish in the pond, no
more, and no less.
Michael B
Jaybird wrote:
>
> Thanks for any advice you give me.
> I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> little shy & very unexperienced.
> So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> them going?
> Jaybird
>
> P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
> responses as much as my email.
>
> If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
> to get to know me, please write soon! : )
> arja...@csupomona.edu
Jaybird, AKA Rob, Tripper, Sexaholic, etc:
If your honesty in this newsgroup is any indication of your honesty with
women it's no wonder you don't have a girlfriend.
Quit f#%king around with us and go ahead and blow your brains out for
crissake!
---
Mike
James Black
(pruned NG list :)
Hello,
On Fri, 2 May 1997, Jaybird wrote:
> Thanks for any advice you give me.
Your welcome. :)
> I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> little shy & very unexperienced.
> So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> them going?
I think that the best way is to be yourself, first. Next, join clubs
that interest you, or do some volunteer work that interests you. This
means that you are going out and doing what you like to do, and surprise,
everyone else there (just about) is there for the same reason, so you can
talk about your mutual interest <BG>. You can also have some fun in the
process.
I was separated from the AF for being too shy (personality disorder:
avoidance), and I have been working on overcoming this. One thing that
helps is to smile (a real smile, not a fake smile). If you are really a
positive, happy person, and you make those around you feel good, then you
will find that people want you around. I tend to make jokes about things
that I observe, as I like to see other people smile also. :) Also, when
you are in line, just start talking to the person behind you, and see
about polishing your small-talk skills.
Once you meet someone, then start with being friends, and continue to do
what you enjoy (but do it with her :). Work on communication, and learn
about each other, and see about trying to help the relationship to grow
(because what they stop growing, they start to die). Don't just have 1
female friend, but work on having more than that, as not all of them will
be good for you (relationship-wise), but it helps to have friends you can
ask advice about ("Should I do/say this ...?").
If you have a strong friendship, then it starts to get more serious,
then just continue to improve the relationship.
Be romantic. That does not mean just do romantic things, but develop a
romantic attitude. I find that I enjoy giving cards, and doing little
things for women, even if they are only friends. It feels good to do
something that makes someone else feel good. Do it because you want to,
and not because you have an ulterior motive, as that will spoil the
feeling that pleasing others gives.
Don't be desperate for a girlfriend (that tends to be a turn-off, it
seems), but don't be so cool that you don't need anyone. Just be
yourself. Work on being more confident(sp). That is a good quality.
Also, try to be able to laugh at yourself, as once you can do that, it is
easier to laugh at life (you stop being so serious :).
> P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
> responses as much as my email.
You should read some of these newsgroups, as it is usually considered
bad form to ask for help, and not be willing to look for any replies, also
you might learn some things just by reading. :)
Good luck, and have fun.
========================================================================
James Black (Comp Sci/Elec Eng Senior)
e-mail: bl...@eng.usf.edu http://www.eng.usf.edu/~black/index.html
"An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."
Oscar Wilde
************************************************************************
Daniel Mocsny
> Jaybird wrote:
> > So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> > meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> > them going?
> Why look its that same stupid loser who was threatening suicide a few
This suggests a new strategy, Suicide Speed Seduction:
1. Purchase a large-caliber handgun and several rounds
of ammunition.
2. Get enough firearms training to be able to hit a
head-sized object at point-blank range. Reliably.
3. Stroll into your local meat-market type of bar with
the handgun pointed at your own head.
4. If necessary, fire a few shots at the ceiling to get
everybody's attention, and to verify that you remembered
how to switch off the safety and pull the trigger.
5. While pointing the gun squarely at your temple, say in
a loud voice, "OK chicky-babes! Either one of you goes home
with me tonight and does the nasty, or the virgin gets it!"
The advantage of this method is that it is guaranteed to
fail ONLY ONCE. And either way, the virgin gets it.
--
--- Daniel J. Mocsny: mailto:dmo...@mfm.com
--- Home page: http://www.mfm.com/~dmocsny
Jeffrey Haber
James Black wrote:
> If you have a strong friendship, then it starts to get more serious,
> then just continue to improve the relationship.
>
> Be romantic. That does not mean just do romantic things, but develop a
> romantic attitude. I find that I enjoy giving cards, and doing little
> things for women, even if they are only friends. It feels good to do
> something that makes someone else feel good. Do it because you want to,
> and not because you have an ulterior motive, as that will spoil the
> feeling that pleasing others gives.
>
> Don't be desperate for a girlfriend (that tends to be a turn-off, it
> seems), but don't be so cool that you don't need anyone. Just be
> yourself. Work on being more confident(sp). That is a good quality.
> Also, try to be able to laugh at yourself, as once you can do that, it is
> easier to laugh at life (you stop being so serious :).
I don't disagree with all of what James Black has said, but he and I
have different tactics. As I mentioned in another post, ultimately you
want to improve your personality so that you become very attractive to
women (long term and much easier said than done). I recommend focussing
on specific strategies and steps that you can take to create a
relationship.
I disagree with James with regards to making a lot of CLOSE or GOOD
women friends. What I don't like about it is that I think it may
actually hinder your chance for a relationship with them. You want to
have a romantic, not a platonic relationship. Also, they are time
investments--if you're just a shoulder to cry on (women love to have
platonic male friends to talk to) and if she isn't introducing you to
her other friends in a romantic context (helping to set you up), it
might just be a waste of valuable time. The potential gains are that it
could blossom into a relationship and you might become better at talking
to women (a part of the long term strategy I mentioned above).
Personally, my position on having women friends is that it's OK to have
them in a loose manner--that is--you'll see them at general social
events (friends' parties, work, etc.) and you'll be friendly, but don't
discuss your personal life--you don't want to establish a serious
platonic relationship. If you know that they are taken then you could
mention, in the natural course of conversation, that you enjoy being set
up on blind dates--discuss an example, or make up a fictional one if you
don't have one, of an interesting blind date you had. You could also
just go ask her if she knows anyone she could set you up with or help
you meet. (Heck, she's taken, so you have nothing to lose.)
By being loosely friendly--not going out of your way to be her friend
like you would if you were a good or close friend, you leave the door
open for a potential relationship some day. Obviously, the next step is
to observe which women will initiate conversation with you and which
ones will try to sustain it (as well as which women you're attracted
to), then ASK THEM OUT. Don't play games with cards, etc., take the
initiative, agressively, and ask them out to dinner and a movie or to a
coffee shop. Actually, I recommend not waiting too long after you meet
a woman to ask her out if you're interested. Otherwise you do run the
risk of getting put in the "also ran" category.
I could write pages about my experiences and some of the conclusions
that I have made and the tactics that I use, so I'll only give some
general guidelines and pointers and recommend some books to read.
1. You need to be assertive and aggressive. This means taking romantic
initiaitves. It's important to become used to asking women out and to
being rejected.
2. Try to look and feel your best. Improve your wardrobe, study how to
dress and look well, work on your physique. Your appearance speaks to
people about how much you value yourself (self esteem) as well as
helping you to look healthy and virile, which is why it is so important.
3. Pursue multiple prospects for a relationship at one time. That way
if one dies, you have another. Also, it will help you to feel less
desperate. (Women can practically smell desperation, and it smells like
skunk--because it says "I just want to sleep with you, I'm not really
interested in you personally".)
4. Don't be afraid to get into relationships with women you don't really
fell that much for or whom you don't think you'd be interested in for a
serious relationship. What can you gain? Experience--about how to
attract women, dating experience, sex, etc. After all, your purpose at
age 23, and in your position especially, isn't so much to look for
marraige partner as it is to just get on the playing field.
5. Don't overpursue women. You don't want to make too many phone calls,
leave too many messages, etc., to any one woman. When you are working
up to your first few dates with a woman, you want her to think that you
are an independent person with your own life you're focussing on (as
opposed to your being so desperate that she's now the center of it). In
other words, try to play the "waiting game" a little bit. Your phone
calls should be for arranging dates and confirming arrangements. If you
have to leave a message, leave one or two and no more until after she
returns your call.
6. When the opportunities arise on a second, third, or fourth date, if
she seems interested in you and things are going well, you are going to
have to take some physical initiatives in order to turn your prospect
into a romantic relationship. That is, you're going to have to push for
the first kiss, petting session, and sex. (You don't have to do it all
in one day.) I wouldn't count on a woman's initiating those things,
it's your job as a male. (Like it or not, that's our sex role and
that's the way it is.) You may need to create the opportunity to do
this. Movies are good at this point because it puts you in physical
closeness and gives you the opportunity to put your arm around her. You
know that you can have a relationship if your personalities are such
that you can be friends (that's usually the easy part between men and
women--as you can see from platonic friendships) if you can take her bed
(in which case she is sexually attracted to you--the "sexship"--the hard
part for a man to get). This is the beginning of your relationship.
With regards to thinking in terms of "I want to have as many
opportunities for relationships with women as possible so that I can do
the rejecting instead of being rejected", this, sex, is your goal. A
relationship is very possible now, and as things progress from here you
will begin to gain some power.
Well, there's a skeleton. I've probably missed some of the bones and it
needs to be filled with flesh, but I think that's some basic advice. As
always, easier said than done. Here is some recommended reading that I
found entertaining, educational, and/or marginally useful:
Why Men Are the Way They Are by Warren Farrell.
In this book Farrell, an intellecual leader of the men's movement,
describes his theories on male/female dynamics. I recommend this
because it will be educational, entertaining, and I think that it will
be helpful in further reinforcing what I've already said and hinted at
with regards to male/female dynamices (ie--you need to be aggressive,
here's why and here are some other men's collected experiences). If a
woman with experiences similar to his wrote a "Why Women Are the Way
They Are" with similar content I'd purchase it in a second.
Disclaimer--I do think that Farrell has some loony thoughts and that
some of his thought processes resemble those of the feminists in some
areas, so beware of BS and unwarrnated, sometimes outlandish comments,
but overall I think he has some interesting insights.
How to Find a Lasting Romantic Relationship by Richard Gosse
You can download this for free at his website. It's at:
http://www.cupidnet.com/bookstor/books.html
I think he has some good, hard-nosed, tell it like it is advice on
dating in his book. My reservations about it are a lack of in depth
detail, but what he does have to say is worth reading. He also makes a
reference to a book on improving your dress which I haven't checked
out. (I've had a girlfriend for a year and a half, so I haven't been
searching for a while.)
Guerrilla Dating Tactics by Sharyn Wolfe
This is really for entertainment value, but it may be marginally useful
as well. I think it's a good read and will help to get your juices
flowing. As with Gosse's book, my reservations are that it lacks an in
depth discussion on specific tactics. Also, it is directed to a general
audience and the author is a woman--so it lacks some of the
aggressiveness that I think a man in his early 20's (the most
challenging market for romance for a man) needs. (Note--Gosse's book is
also for a general audience, but has a more agressive flair to it.)
At any rate, I recommend those three books. (If anyone knows of any
other good books for men on dating tactics, please e-mail them to me
along with an explanation of why they are good--I'm very skeptical of
dating books.)
Jeffrey Haber
http://www.sb.fsu.edu/~haber
Richard Evans
James Black (bl...@eng.usf.edu) wrote:
: (pruned NG list :)
: Hello,
: On Fri, 2 May 1997, Jaybird wrote:
: > Thanks for any advice you give me.
: Your welcome. :)
: > I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
: > little shy & very unexperienced.
: > So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
: > meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
: > them going?
Talking about my own experiences, if you are shy then you need to find some
way to get over your shyness. For me my shyness ruined any opertunity I had.
It's no use looking for opertunities if you can't take advantage of them.
I've learned to cope gradually one step at a time, nad it took a long time.
: I think that the best way is to be yourself, first.
Usually a good policy, but if you are the type that messes up when you
meet girls then you need to ask why, and do something about it.
: Next, join clubs
: that interest you, or do some volunteer work that interests you. This
: means that you are going out and doing what you like to do, and surprise,
: everyone else there (just about) is there for the same reason, so you can
: talk about your mutual interest <BG>. You can also have some fun in the
: process.
In other words, find some way to get out in to the world and enjoy yourself.
But don't try too hard to find girls, as you will find many attempts go
wrong, and it can depress you, make you moodey, and you end up comming
accross as a looser. That kills your chances. Just have fun, don't worry
too much about it, and opertunities will start to appear. Perhaps only
once in a few months, but if you are ready you have a chance of starting
something.
: I was separated from the AF for being too shy (personality disorder:
: avoidance), and I have been working on overcoming this. One thing that
: helps is to smile (a real smile, not a fake smile). If you are really a
: positive, happy person, and you make those around you feel good, then you
: will find that people want you around. I tend to make jokes about things
: that I observe, as I like to see other people smile also. :) Also, when
: you are in line, just start talking to the person behind you, and see
: about polishing your small-talk skills.
Just wanted to add my bit.
Richard.
MajorTom
Jaybird <arja...@csupomona.edu> wrote:
>Thanks for any advice you give me.
>I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
>little shy & very unexperienced.
>So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
>meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
>them going?
>Jaybird
>P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
>responses as much as my email.
>If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
>to get to know me, please write soon! : )
>arja...@csupomona.edu
If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
been there more than once...
John Vo
In alt.love MajorTom <Majo...@pipeline.com> wrote:
: Jaybird <arja...@csupomona.edu> wrote:
Hi:
I believe he should go out and have a good time but don't expect
to find anyone special because they are very rare. If it happens,
great, if not, just keep looking, he's a young guy.
-John,
j...@nyx.nyx.net
Robert Russ
There are some ladies out there who care for more than sex. Some want
real relationships. Others want sex only. It is knd of like guys. There
are guys who want ONLY sex and then there are those who care for other
things. The ladies are out there. They may be hard to find though.
Thomas marino
Your fucking lucky, just keep jacking off dude and fuck whores.
Paul
Majo...@pipeline.com (MajorTom) wrote:
>Jaybird <arja...@csupomona.edu> wrote:
>>Thanks for any advice you give me.
>>I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
>>little shy & very unexperienced.
>>So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
>>meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
>>them going?
>>Jaybird
>>P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
>>responses as much as my email.
>>If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
>>to get to know me, please write soon! : )
>>arja...@csupomona.edu
>If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
>money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
>rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
>are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
>in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
>been there more than once...
I know finding a good woman can be very discouraging, but it doesn't
make sense to gove up on them. Sure, dating is often a waste of time
and money that could be better spent elsewhere. I think the key is to
be very selective about the women you date and avoid dating women
based just on physical attraction. This may dramatically reduce the
number of dates you have, but in the end you'll be much better off.
Meet Me After Dark!
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MajorTom wrote:
>
> Jaybird <arja...@csupomona.edu> wrote:
>
> >Thanks for any advice you give me.
> >I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> >little shy & very unexperienced.
> >So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> >meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> >them going?
> >Jaybird
>
> >P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
> >responses as much as my email.
>
> >If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
> >to get to know me, please write soon! : )
> >arja...@csupomona.edu
>
> If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
> money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
> rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
> are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
> in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
> been there more than once...
Now listen here, don't give the guy *BAD* advice just because your
Ugly with a short peepee. This guy needs a *HOT* Pussy!!!
Honey:
You just join us girls at.....................
http://www.webSpalsh.com/pages/chat.html
The hot girls hang out in room # 8 (Sisterhood) This is not a joke
or some kind of a promotional thing. I hate to see a good piece of meat
go to waste when it could be in my Pussy.
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Lonni J Friedman
Jason Young wrote:
>
> Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> inherently accepting.
And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
Jason Young
Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
inherently accepting.
Richard Evans <eva...@callisto.lif.icnet.uk> wrote in article
<5kn049$j5r$1...@charlie.lif.icnet.uk>...
> James Black (bl...@eng.usf.edu) wrote:
> : (pruned NG list :)
>
> : Hello,
>
> : On Fri, 2 May 1997, Jaybird wrote:
>
> : > Thanks for any advice you give me.
>
> : Your welcome. :)
>
> : > I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad.,
a
> : > little shy & very unexperienced.
> : > So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do
I
> : > meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> : > them going?
>
Austin Powers --IMOM
In article <33727D...@hal.stu.rpi.edu>, Lonni J Friedman <bee...@hal.stu.rpi.edu> writes:
|> Jason Young wrote:
|> >
|> > Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
|> > inherently accepting.
|>
|> And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
|> in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
I used to feel guilty about going to church (which I didn't believe in
going to anyway) and having that happen...but, it IS a social place,
nevertheless I suppose...I dunno...
but hey--as a raised Catholic, I guess I know where the guilt still
comes into play...
Danny
Gracia
Lonni J Friedman wrote:
>
> Jason Young wrote:
> >
> > Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> > inherently accepting.
>
> And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
> in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
I have heard of this. In fact, I myself found my boyfriend in the
church,
and many of my friends, girls and boys, found there boyfriend or
girlfriend
in the church as well.
Of course, if he is not Christian it does not work for him... unless
he decided to become Christian as well ;-))
Daniel Mocsny
Gracia wrote:
>
> Lonni J Friedman wrote:
> >
> > Jason Young wrote:
> > >
> > > Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> > > inherently accepting.
> >
> > And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
> > in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
This viewpoint makes picking up girls in church even easier, because
it causes many of those girls to go off the defensive. That is,
since most people view this activity as "inappropriate" for
churchgoers, girls tend not to expect guys to "hit on" them in
church. This gives guys an immediate advantage when they actually
do hit on those girls, because the girls' expectations of
appropriateness will trigger their denial mechanisms when they
find themselves being hit on, and they will tend to find subconscious
methods for viewing the "hit" as being something other than what it is,
and therefore acceptable. This is because females are never 100%
passive when it comes to playing the pickup game. Even though the
guy usually has to make the first move, he has to get some cooperation
from the girl to keep things going. The girl therefore becomes
complicit to some degree whenever mutual erotic energy occurs, and
she has a powerful incentive to rationalize her behavior into
something she can find at least marginally consistent with whatever
church doctrine she embraces.
> I have heard of this. In fact, I myself found my boyfriend in the church,
> and many of my friends, girls and boys, found there boyfriend or girlfriend
> in the church as well.
That was my observation during the years I attended church. It was
an environment highly conducive to initiating romantic/sexual
relationships. Churches are fundamentally social clubs. The primary
function of a social club is to bring people together so they can
meet, converse, and engage in interesting activities together.
When the people coming together in this way include people who find
each other attractive, romantic/sexual relationships inevitably start.
Of course this creates a lot of problems, especially for churches that
are traditional/fundamentalist and strict about prohibiting sex outside
of marriage. It is deliciously ironic that the very institution that
most strenuously advocates sexual abstinence for teenagers actually
provides some of the better opportunities for teenagers to have their
first sexual experiences (in the form of youth group activities,
trips, and especially retreats/camps) or to form the relationships that
lead to those first experiences.
Churches have particular advantages for men:
(a) They usually have more women than men.
(b) They usually train their women to believe that women should be
submissive to men, to some degree at least.
(c) Women tend to be more social than men, and therefore more interested
in any sort of social club (for example, their church). Thus, any man
who demonstrates an interest in the same social club already has some
points on the scoreboard. The downside is that he had better mean business,
or he will be in trouble later.
> Of course, if he is not Christian it does not work for him... unless
> he decided to become Christian as well ;-))
There are so many churches with such a range of mutually contradictory
beliefs that it hardly matters whether he satisfies any particular
definition of "Christian." Unless he lives in a rural area where there
is only one church within a reasonable distance, he should not have
much trouble locating a sufficiently watered-down church to be
tolerable at whatever level of rationality he has obtained so far in life.
I suppose the only major difficulty might be that churches which are
doctrinally liberal tend to be socially liberal as well, so if he is
an atheist and an economic conservative he might have difficulty
finding any church with views he can accept. But no matter what the official
views of the church, it will always have members with a diversity of views.
Only in the most slavish of cults can you find a group of people who
robotically accept one set of beliefs with 100% consistency. In most
normal churches you can find plenty of differences of opinion on some
issues. Therefore, he can attend any church for a while, participate in
its activities, meet the available women, and if none are mutually
suitable, he can leave.
Another point to keep in mind is that sometimes the people with the most
fanatical beliefs are the easiest to persuade of new beliefs (otherwise,
how did they get those fanatical beliefs in the first place?).
rjim...@codetel.net.do
If you've never had a girlfriend do not panic. There's no minimum age
to start having girlfriends or boyfriends. Focus on your self,please
yourself and get happy. The happier you get to be with the person you
are, the more atractivve you will be for everybody else.
Barbara Saunders
In article <33727D...@hal.stu.rpi.edu>,
Lonni J Friedman <bee...@hal.stu.rpi.edu> wrote:
>Jason Young wrote:
>>
>> Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
>> inherently accepting.
>
>And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
>in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
I once saw some "relationship consultant" being interviewed who advised
men to "go to church, slip in near the end of the service, and catch the
women going out." This struck me as ridiculous: the advantage one would
hope for in church of all places (or synagogue, or whatever your place of
worship is) would be for someone sincere.
IMO, because places of worship provide a situation that's continuous over
time, somewhat intimate, yet affords an influx of new people, it's
probably a good place for a person *already involved* with that church to
find a partner.
Oddly, I've met people who went to church on a whim, with a friend, and
met their parnters.
Barbara
Dylan Walsh
On 9 May 1997 00:45:59 GMT, this dude, "Jason Young"
<spi...@proaxis.com> wrote:
>Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
>inherently accepting.
Christian chicks don't put-out. :-)
+To reply via email, just remove +
+"NOSPAM" from my email address. +
Jeffrey Haber
Lonni J Friedman wrote:
>
> Jason Young wrote:
> >
> > Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> > inherently accepting.
>
> in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
I suspect that that what Jason meant to imply is that during church
social activities a Christian guy might be able to meet some Christian
women. (Notice that a lot of singles clubs meet at churches). I think
the concept applies for whatever ideology you hold, though, atheist,
etc. The benefit--you get to do something you're interested in doing
and you have a chance to meet people with whom you're ideologically
compatable. Case in point, I met my first girlfriend when I was running
a college campus Ayn Rand discussion club.
Jeffrey Haber
http://www.sb.fsu.edu/~haber
Slave Mistress!!!
Meet Me After Dark! wrote:
>
> MajorTom wrote:
> > >little shy & very unexperienced.
> > >So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> > >meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> > >them going?
> >
> > >P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
> > >responses as much as my email.
> >
> > >If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
> > >to get to know me, please write soon! : )
> > >arja...@csupomona.edu
> >
> > If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
> > money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
> > rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
> > are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
> > in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
> > been there more than once...
>
> Now listen here, don't give the guy *BAD* advice just because your
> Ugly with a short peepee. This guy needs a *HOT* Pussy!!!
> Honey:
> You just join us girls at.....................
>
> http://www.webSpalsh.com/pages/chat.html
>
> The hot girls hang out in room # 8 (Sisterhood) This is not a joke
> or some kind of a promotional thing. I hate to see a good piece of meat
> go to waste when it could be in my Pussy.
>
>
> We're sorry!
>
> You must have a frame-capable browser in order
> to use WebSplash Chat. Please visit Netscape for such a tool.
> [Image]
>
> [ Help | Hot Links | Free Files | Sign Up | Members | Personals | Hot
> Chat | Shopping Cart | Feedback ]
You can look up my short skirt anytime lover boy!!! I'm Hot and I'm
ready for whatever you got. don't wait too long.
FelixBalter
>Jason Young wrote:
>>
>> Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
>> inherently accepting.
>
>And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
>in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
right lonni ... what kind of church is it, to meet my new girl- or
boyfriend ...
felix
Renzo Rebagliati
Yeah, bro, don't channel your hormone flow based just on looks and
physical attraction. There are a lot of 'medium looking' or even what some
may call 'ugly' looking women who are a hundred thousand million times
more willing to please you and have fun and make you feel right in as much
as you make them feel right. A good pair of legs can take away your
reason, and that is very bad.
Lisa Marie Haro
On 9 May 1997, Austin Powers --IMOM wrote:
>
> In article <33727D...@hal.stu.rpi.edu>, Lonni J Friedman <bee...@hal.stu.rpi.edu> writes:
> |> Jason Young wrote:
> |> >
> |> > Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> |> > inherently accepting.
> |>
> |> And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
> |> in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
>
> I used to feel guilty about going to church (which I didn't believe in
> going to anyway) and having that happen...but, it IS a social place,
> nevertheless I suppose...I dunno...
> but hey--as a raised Catholic, I guess I know where the guilt still
> comes into play...
>
> Danny
>
>
My mom tried to use that excuse for getting me to go back to church. the
problem? I had gone to school with all the guys in the church since I
was five. How on earth would they see me in a different light if they
had known me for ten years? Plus I am not very religious, so why should
I got to a church if my heart isn't in it.
You don't search for a girlfriend or boyfriend. It just happens when you
least expect it. for me it was by accident literally. My boyfriend,
though not a the time live in the same building as me, we passed weach
other every day. Parked right near each other for six months. never
said more than two words to each other. Then his fish tank broke and
leaked into my apartment. and lets just sit things took off from there.
And have been going well ever since.
Lisa
Jeffrey Haber
Lisa Marie Haro wrote:
> You don't search for a girlfriend or boyfriend. It just happens when you
> least expect it. for me it was by accident literally. My boyfriend,
> though not a the time live in the same building as me, we passed weach
> other every day. Parked right near each other for six months. never
> said more than two words to each other. Then his fish tank broke and
> leaked into my apartment. and lets just sit things took off from there.
> And have been going well ever since.
>
> Lisa
This sounds just like something a young woman would say--meeting
boyfriends just happens. Of course...when the men are pursuing you--it
seems like it "just happened"--failing to take into account that someone
had to initiate the first date, phone call, sex, etc.--that soemone had
to make it happen.
For those men who follow this line of thinking and wait for things to
happen, they might find, as a great many have, that things don't "just
happen" for them--unless they have very good people skills and meet
large amounts of available, new women in their daily activities. That's
when learning how to purposely meet women and to attract them comes into
play.
Jeffrey Haber
http://www.sb.fsu.edu/~haber
Kjetil Aavik
I believe you misunderstood her.
What she was talking about was *meeting* someone,
not getting together with them.
This definetly "just happens," unless it's planned
by Mutual Friends Match-making Agency, Inc.
(Definetly one of the least competent companies in the Universe.)
As others probably will rush to tell you,
getting together with someone will also
happen without planning it sometimes - just don't
count on it.
Jeffrey Haber wrote:
> This sounds just like something a young woman would say--meeting
> boyfriends just happens. Of course...when the men are pursuing you--it
> seems like it "just happened"--failing to take into account that someone
> had to initiate the first date, phone call, sex, etc.--that soemone had
> to make it happen.
>
> For those men who follow this line of thinking and wait for things to
> happen, they might find, as a great many have, that things don't "just
> happen" for them--unless they have very good people skills and meet
> large amounts of available, new women in their daily activities. That's
> when learning how to purposely meet women and to attract them comes into
> play.
>
> Jeffrey Haber
> http://www.sb.fsu.edu/~haber
--
-Kjetil Aavik
Kom arbeidslyst og treng deg på!
Her skal du motstand finne!
-Solan Gundersen, sagbruksarbeider
Dylan Walsh
On Tue, 13 May 1997 11:12:37 GMT, this dude, un...@space.net.au (Uncle
Brian) wrote:
>On Sat, 10 May 1997 18:50:09 GMT, dywals...@indigo.ie (Dylan
>Walsh) wrote:
>>+Christian chicks don't put-out. :-)
>
>You're DEAD WRONG there, buddy.
Well surely devout Christians aren't not supposed till there married?
And being a churchgoer would increase the likelyhood of a woman
subscribing to this view.
The Wheel
This guy was threatening suicide two months ago!! This is definitely a
ploy and I bought into it big time. I even sofened my normally coarse
personality to give him some advice. Ladies, this one is NOT one of the
nice ones. He's a rotten little liar man!
> Paul wrote:
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> http://members.aol.com/FlashODay
>
> >Jaybird <arja...@csupomona.edu> wrote:
>
> >>Thanks for any advice you give me.
> >>I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> >>little shy & very unexperienced.
> >>So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> >>meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> >>them going?
> >>Jaybird
>
> >>P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
> >>responses as much as my email.
>
> >>If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
> >>to get to know me, please write soon! : )
> >>arja...@csupomona.edu
>
> >If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
> >money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
> >rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
> >are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
> >in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
> >been there more than once...
>
The Wheel
Here's a little glimpse into the mind of this NICE guy. Written two
months ago...
> http://members.aol.com/FlashODay
> > Rob <arja...@csupomona.edu> wrote:
> >
> > >I'm Thinking about killing myself...
> > >My name is Rob. I'm 23 years old, short blonde hair, green eyes,
> > >170lbs., 6'0", graduated from the University of Southern California,
> > >live in the L.A./Orange county area, never had a girlfriend, never
> > >really had anyone who cared about me.
> > >Is it just me who is going through a miserable, lonely life or are there
> > >others just like me? I've tried everything and nothing works. I think
> > >it's time to quit trying.
> > >Please reply to me directly:
> > >arja...@csupomona.edu
> > >Thanks,
> > >Rob
Jay Waltner
Daniel Mocsny wrote:
>
> Gracia wrote:
> >
> > Lonni J Friedman wrote:
> > >
> > > Jason Young wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> > > > inherently accepting.
>cogent psychological observations snipped
> > I have heard of this. In fact, I myself found my boyfriend in the church,
> > and many of my friends, girls and boys, found there boyfriend or girlfriend
> > in the church as well.
>
> That was my observation during the years I attended church. It was
> an environment highly conducive to initiating romantic/sexual
> relationships. Churches are fundamentally social clubs. The primary
> function of a social club is to bring people together so they can
> meet, converse, and engage in interesting activities together.
> When the people coming together in this way include people who find
> each other attractive, romantic/sexual relationships inevitably start.
>> remainder snipped
These observations ring true to me--although I'm not qualified to
comment on the psychological rationale. When I was 22, just out of
college and living in Chicago, I started going to one of the biggest
churches there. I couldn't believe how many good-looking, "together"
women were there, 20-25 yrs old and mostly unattached (probably because
it was an urban area and a college-related church--unlike smaller-town
churches which I've found to be dominated by married (or nearly married)
couples and families).
Anyway, I started getting along pretty well with a beautiful woman
there, but partly because of my lack of follow-up and partly because of
our schedules (I was a traveling court reporter, she a flight
attendant), we never really got it together. I moved to Indy about a
year after that and we lost touch. Wish I knew where she was now...
Anyway--and unfortunately--there is NOT always an "inherent accepting
environment" at many churches--which is why I've backed away from
organized religion by and large for the past 10 years. But I've been
hearing this "go to church to meet women" advice more and more. Maybe
it's time to step in (carefully!) again.
Knight of the Internet
On 10 May 1997, FelixBalter wrote:
> On Thu, 08 May 1997 21:27:32 -0400, Lonni J Friedman
> <bee...@hal.stu.rpi.edu> wrote:
> >And what if he's not Christian? And who ever heard of picking up girls
> >in church? That really sleazy and innapropriate.
> right lonni ... what kind of church is it, to meet my new girl- or
> boyfriend ...
I dunno? Maybe one that is interested in seeing its members meet their
lifemate?
I fail to see how any devout minister or parent would not like the
prospect of their members or children pairing off in Christian
relationships (you know, waiting until marriage, mutual respect, reverence
for God -- it can make an interesting threesome ;), etc., etc.)
It is not good that man be alone (permanently). What on earth is wrong
with God's children meeting each other in His place of worship and
following His guidelines for relationships??
Shawn Pickrell <=> Randolph-Macon College '97 <=> Romans 10:9-13
Mathematics & History major <=> Catching butterflies since 3/8/97
Christian, Romantic Cynic, Quizbowl Fanatic, Journalist
mailto:sirs...@hotmail.com <=> http://members.tripod.com/~sirshawn
Athina Kacaflicas
: You don't search for a girlfriend or boyfriend. It just happens when you
: least expect it. for me it was by accident literally. My boyfriend,
: though not a the time live in the same building as me, we passed weach
: other every day. Parked right near each other for six months. never
: said more than two words to each other. Then his fish tank broke and
: leaked into my apartment. and lets just sit things took off from there.
: And have been going well ever since.
: Lisa
mmm, i don't think so. Only a woman could think such a thing. Everytime
an average guy is out on a date, having sex, etc, it is because *he*
noticed the female, *he* made an approach, *he* initiated sex.
"things took off from there"
i'll bet that's not how he sees it...
Andrew Kyriakopoulos
SweetSent
Andrew,
Are you a cynic? Gosh some of us DO know how to make the 1st move!
DIRTY DAVE THE WIZARD
Violette wrote:
>
> 1. Find your self-confidence and peace.
>
> 2. Learn to love yourself first.
>
> 3. Be very nice to ladies (the biggest step in a relationship)
>
> 4. Go steady :)
>
> Vi
> Kit...@airmail.net
> Princess of Light
> "Bringing light to those who live in darkness"...
> -The Saint
--
Be nice to everyone
Be respecfully of ladies
Dirty Dave the Wizard
Live to Ride
Ride to Live
79F XS1100 (Wretched Beast)
68 FLH Harley-Davidson (Betty)
DIRTY DAVE THE WIZARD
--
Why the fuck would you repost piece of shit!
Violette
pnd...@aol.com
Church is definently not the place to meet women. You'll be missing out
on all of us who don't attend regularly. Try being set-up through
friends who know your taste, or joining clubs. This way you'll be sure
to find someone with whom you share things in common.
Francis J Yenca
Excerpts from netnews.alt.romance: 16-May-97 Re: I have NEVER had a
girl.. by Viol...@airmail.net
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Although I might consider a 3a, which includes simply making friends
with the ladies, in addition to simply being nice.
Frank
Knight of the Internet
But what if you want to meet a committed Christian guy or girl?? This
would be one thing I'd really like to have in common with a potential
girlfriend.
Actually, I am told that the ratio of women to men between 18 and 34 at
many churches is something like 2 to 1. (well, at the church *I* go to
back home, the ratio of people over 55 to the people under 55 is something
like 2 to 1. But God is God, so I won't mind too much. :)
Romantic partners can be met anywhere where people congregate, and church
is certainly one of them.
Shawn Pickrell <=> Randolph-Macon College '97 <=> Romans 10:9-13
Mathematics & History major <=> Continuing to chase other butterflies
Christian, Romantic Cynic, Quizbowl Fanatic, Journalist
mailto:sirs...@hotmail.com <=> http://members.tripod.com/~sirshawn
"Help me overcome what hurts me; help me understand your plan."
Joe Charles
> >+<spi...@proaxis.com> wrote:
> >+
> >+>Go to Church. Great place to meet girls and the social atmoshpere is
> >+>inherently accepting.
> >+
> >+Christian chicks don't put-out. :-)
>
> You're DEAD WRONG there, buddy.
This is a test
Joe
McKenzie
John Vo wrote:
>
> In alt.love MajorTom <Majo...@pipeline.com> wrote:> : >I'm 23, short blonde hair, green eyes, 170lbs., 6'0", college grad., a
> : >little shy & very unexperienced.
> : >So, how do I get into a relationship with someone special? Where do I
> : >meet compatible women and what do I do to get things going...and keep
> : >them going?
> : >Jaybird
>
> : >P.S. Please reply to me DIRECTLY! I don't monitor the newsgroups
> : >responses as much as my email.
>
> : >If you're a girl in the Los Angeles/ Orange County area and would like
> : >to get to know me, please write soon! : )
> : >arja...@csupomona.edu
>
> : If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
> : money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
> : rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
> : are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
> : in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
> : been there more than once...
>
Men are more selfish and useless than any woman.........no wonder you've
had trouble in the past, with an attitude like that.
sirlen
Peter
My number one advice is do not loose any hair.
P. Chuang
hey don't judge all of base on a woman who did you wrong. we all not all
users. true some of use will do whatever it takes to get what you want,
but same goes for the men.
if you look hard enough you will find that special someone. (hmmm how come
i don't believe what i am saying?:)
> > >
> >
> > Men are more selfish and useless than any woman.........no wonder you've
> > had trouble in the past, with an attitude like that.
> >
>
>
men aren't useless. you gotta admit they do provide some pleasure...
*wink* :)
"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a
woman." ~M. Thatcher
Violette
On Tue, 22 Jul 1997 05:50:55 GMT, w...@netrox.net (Peter) wrote:
>My number one advice is do not loose any hair.
and mine is learn to live without a computer ;-)
Vi
the girl with the sun in her head ~
/msg MoonGirl hi Im your fan - on IRCnet :)
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/9536
Kit...@airmail.net
@>->->->->->->
Patty
Cat Prickett wrote:
>
> McKenzie (hi...@xtra.co.nz) writes:
> > John Vo wrote:
>
> <personals ads snipped>
>
> >> : If you want some good advice.. DON'T even bother with them.. save the
> >> : money you'd spend on dateing and spend it on yourself where it
> >> : rightfully belongs ... I have NOT found one that was worth it.. They
> >> : are Selfish Useless Creatures... Don't let the Short skirts hook you
> >> : in ... They will only try to get whatever they can from you ... I've
> >> : been there more than once...
> >
> > had trouble in the past, with an attitude like that.
>
>
> SOME men are scum; SOME women are scum. Live with it.
>
> Shifter, the practical Cat
> --
> You want to dress in black
> And lose your heart beyond recall
> Hunt a dream through rain and thunder,
> On your honour, for it all. -- Emma Bull, "For It All"
You are not alone, I'm a woman and have never had a true girlfriend.
(FRIEND ONLY) I'm not gay. Women are not as easily to get to know as
most men are. From my experiences, women will hurt your feelings alot
faster than a man. Women just can't be true friends to anyone.
Invite them to your home and they like your husband better or they
don't like your furniture or how you raise your children.
Cat Prickett
Patty (patty...@mail.millen.net) writes:
> Cat Prickett wrote:
<big snip>
>> Oh, please. Both of you are making useless generalizations.
>>
>> SOME men are scum; SOME women are scum. Live with it.
>
> You are not alone, I'm a woman and have never had a true girlfriend.
> (FRIEND ONLY) I'm not gay. Women are not as easily to get to know as
> most men are. From my experiences, women will hurt your feelings alot
> faster than a man. Women just can't be true friends to anyone.
Jeez. I've always liked to think of myself as my true friends'
true friend. :/
Shifter
Douglas Esanbock
Violette <Kit...@airmail.net> wrote in article
<0B766BDD86BE4523.F3CDD5E7...@library-proxy.airnews.ne
t>...
> On Tue, 22 Jul 1997 05:50:55 GMT, w...@netrox.net (Peter) wrote:
>
> >My number one advice is do not loose any hair.
>
> and mine is learn to live without a computer ;-)
>
and mine is to try your lick with men.