In our last episode of [alt.wedding], Dawn Precour wrote:

I always thought I would keep my name and hyphenate, but that has
decidedly become a no option plan.  1. My brother will carry on the family
name so that's ok in that vein, 2. It just doesn't work.  Maybe if Doug's
last name was anything but what it is, but Jennie Johnson-Jackson just
doesn't work for us *grin*

Jennie (and Doug) Aug '97
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 \X/   or numbered!  My life is my own. - No.6 to No.2, "The Prisoner"     |
   `----As always, my university has no idea at all of what I am saying----'

So what are you planning to do?  There are lots of other options too.
Like creating a new name from pieces of your names or choosing a name in
one of your families, an ancestor or another name that has died out or
about to or means something to you.  Or you could always jsut keep your
own name, just like it is.

My husband and I took my mother's maiden name.  We liked the way it
sounded with our names, it gave us the same name, a family name.  Yet at
the same time, we didn't feel as though we were giving up our
"identities."  We both changed our names to make a commitment to being a
family..by both changing them I don't feel that one person's identity is
subsumed under the other's.  It was also a good choice for us as well, as
our parents are divorced and neither of us are particularly close to our
fathers, nor were we particularly thrilled to have our fathers' last
names.

By the way, are you from Australia?  I ask because my husband is from Melbourne.

Kimber

Hello!

I'm very confused as to what I'm going to do.  I always thought I'd keep my
own name after I was married but now that I'm really GETTING married I'm
considering changing it (hyphenating isn't really an option for me either
--  it's like the Johnson-Jackson thing, only it's Williams-Wagner).  My
fiance isn't in a position professionally to change his name (though he
offered to do so, bless his heart) and he says that he'd actually prefer
that I keep mine but that of course he'll support whatever decision I make.
 I'm not (yet) in a professional position to suffer from a name change, and
I like the idea of our future family all having the same name, but I also
agree that I haven't "borrowed" my own family name and that my identity
shouldn't soley be tied to that of the man I marry.  Besides, I like my
name as it is already.  The most attractive option I've encountered so far
is taking one another's names as additional middle names.  I still have
over half a year to decide but we've been engaged for a year already and
I'm no closer to a decision now than I was then.  I'd appreciate hearing
other people's experience with this since it's never been a problem that my
family or friends have encountered.....

thanks,

Allison Williams (Allison Wagner?  Allison Wagner Williams?  AAAAARRGH!)
(& David)
July 6, 1997

On 17 Nov 1996 19:51:21 GMT, "FreshArt" <fresh...@cadvision.com>
wrote:

Your fiance sounds like mine.  He also is supportive of whatever I
finally choose about my name.  I have almost decided that I will keep
all three of my names (first, middle, last), and add  his last name
also.  I won't be Michelle Miller, nor Michelle Shutt, but Michelle C.
Miller Shutt.  Kind of a mouthful, I know, but the best I've come up[
with so far.  As for your situation, IMHO, Allison Wagner Williams
(without the actual hyphen) sounds neat.  It sort of rolls off the
tongue. And you'd still using both names.

In our last episode of [alt.wedding], Kimber & Cesar Rodgers wrote:

Well we could combine our names and make it into something that is a mix
of johnson and jackson, but the 'son' part is already the same so I don't
see how that will work...it's ok though, i like his last name and have no
problem.  I mean at least my initials won't change.

No I am not aussie, I come from Canada.  Doug and I met over the internet
and i decided to come over here after i graduated from uni to meet him.
We hit it off instantly (we knew about ten min after meeting each other we
would get married and he proposed on our 6 month anniversary of being
together in aus).  Doug is from Melbourne, born and raised though.  If you
guys make it back here we'll have to get in touch.

Jennie (and DOug) Aug '97
PS: pllease excuse any spelling errors or lack of proper capitalizatin, i
just worked a 16 hour shift and am not really with it, plus i have to get
up again in 5 hours to get ready for a 9 am shift so I am saying goodnight
*SNORE*)
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 \X/   or numbered!  My life is my own. - No.6 to No.2, "The Prisoner"     |
   `----As always, my university has no idea at all of what I am saying----'

If you're afraid of "losing" a name, and you're not afraid of saddling
your child with a name that no one has ever heard of, you may be able to turn
a maiden name into a first name.

My fiance's parents did that to him - his name (Bolton) is his grandmother's
maiden name, and his father's middle name. I like his name, although it has to
be repeated when he's introduced, and he makes himself crazy everytime he sees
one of those "personalized" items racks in gift shops, because they never have
his name.

Janet (& Bolton, 2/1/97)
**taking his last name, moving my last name to my middle name.

Kimber & Cesar Rodgers wrote:

This has been something Ive been thinking about for a while now.. There
is only one cousin who will carry on my father's name and Ive always
felt that that wasnt enough..

Not to mention that I am a keen Genealogist and would like my children
to know their mother's name..

so how does this sound:

                Marianna Kleytman-Hill?
                        or
                Marianna Kleytman Hill

personally I like the hyphen, and I think the names sorta go together ;)

what do you think?

Mari (& Tony)
23.8.98
--
Marianna Kleytman
University of Wollongong
m...@wumpus.its.uow.edu.au
cha...@rabble.cs.uow.edu.au
http://www.actlab.utexas.edu/~charis

        I have kept my name and added my husband's, but I did not
hyphenate it.  The reason?  First, I don't feel like I am a hyphenated
individual, and second, I don't really like the way it looks!  I admit, it
is a little unwieldy (Juliet Ugarte Hopkins), it is a bear for people to
enter it into computer programs (like at the doctor's office, etc.), and I
always have to repeat myself when giving my name, but I think those are
silly reasons not to keep both.  I've only had it for a year, but it can't
be all that bad...look at Hillary Rodham Clinton!

I haven't made a final decision yet, but I think I'm going to keep ALL
of my names, including my middle one, so I'll just have four.  I feel
no need or desire to get rid of one of the names my parents gave me.

Jenny

imagne how much fun that was for me- I got divorced in the states and kept
his last name cuz I liked it better.  I came here and they all wanted my
anme and I am ike "wendey malone" and then they see my birth certificate
and can't figure out why a single woman would ahve a different last name.
after trying to explain repeatedly that "wendey heitmann" does not
technically exist anymore I said hell with it and did it their way.  Now I
am rather glad about it, especially since I found out I couldn't ahve my
new husband's name... something about using my ex's name while married to
another guy... yuck.

-wendey (in montreal too!)
11/23/96

In article <warlunds-0612961246400...@advance-28-44.concordia.ca>,
warlu...@coral.concordia.ca (Sarah Hamilton Warlund) wrote:

In article <warlunds-0612961246400...@advance-28-44.concordia.ca>,
warlu...@coral.concordia.ca (Sarah Hamilton Warlund) wrote:

What if the parents want to give the children a combined name, made up of
both their names?  Is this legal?

Just curious

Kimber

According to the law in Quebec we have to keep our maiden name. If we want
to change our name to the husband's name or a hyphenated version, we have
to go through all the legal proceedings (and money) to change our name.
Some people informally change their name but still have to use their
maiden name for health insurance (government paid) and all other
government stuff.

However, the children can have any combination of the parents name:
father's only, mothe'rs only, mother's-father's, father's-mother's. The
only restriction is that the name cannot have more than one hypen. So it's
good for this generation, but the next generation? Who knows.

Sarah in Montreal

In article <19961206004300.TAA09...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,

--
************************
Sarah Hamilton Warlund
warlu...@coral.concordia.ca

i'll be keeping my name. mostly because my last name is long and polish
and cannot possibly sound good hyphenated.

my ex wanted me to hyphenate my name with his, but his name was long and
east european as well, which would have given me more consonants than
any one human being should have.

i'm still so surprised that people my age (25) are shocked that i'm
not changing my name. don't see what the big deal is, really.

in answer to your question kimber, sort of.  you just can only have a
maximum of *two* last names.  they don't care what combo or who's last
name it is (I think it has to somehow be derived from the parents though)
as long as there are no more than two last names.

-wendey

In article <moose-0612961245240...@aragorn181.nuts.nwu.edu>,
mo...@merle.acns.nwu.edu (Kimber & Cesar Rodgers) wrote:

In contrast, I'm getting LOTS of shocked responses when people find out
(my age AND older -- I'm 23) that I'm changing my name to his.  What can
I say -- I've always dreamed of having a last name that I didn't have to
spell or pronounce several times EVERY time I give it to someone (even
the contract for the purchase of my wedding gown has it horrible
misspelled!).  My last name is Dockstader (Dock-stay-der), and his is
Morgan.  I think it's perfect.  And I'm not going to do the
Dockstader-Morgan thing, either, which everybody jokes about.  Heck, my
last name alone doesn't even fit for Publishers' Clearing House!!
        Anyway, I'm finding it sort of amusing that everyone is really
surprised that I'm changing it.  Since when did it become out of the
ordinary to do the traditional thing? (the answer is probably since I
went to school at the flaming liberal institution of UC Berkeley and
managed to surround myself with liberal friends even in the conservative
stronghold of William and Mary (grad school))  :P

Jennifer (who's been using the name "Morgan" to order pizza, at least,
for going on two years now!) and Dave
5/24/97

In article <19961210031200.WAA03...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,

Why does hyphenating seem like an 80s thing?  I've never thought of it this way.

Kimber

I plan to drop my middle name and use my last name as my middle name.  As
in Carolyn Kelly Beauchesne.  Hyphenating seems so 80's.

I'm also doing the traditional thing and am taking my fiance's last name
(Ott) and dropping mine (Behrens), partly for the same reasons that
Jennifer mentioned. Our families seem in no way surprised and probably
expected that, but my colleagues at work (R&D Center) find that hard to
believe! I guess it all depends on your background...

Gesa (who will still have the trouble of spelling her first name for
EVERYONE she gives it to!)

I have resisted adding my two cents in this thread for quite a while,
but I am in a mood today.

While I was in college, I decided to change my name legally from Knoll
to Knoll-Carlson; joining my last name (my father) and my step
father's.  For 7 years I went by this name.  When I started a new job,
they had my desk set up as Carlson.  I decided, great, no hyphen to deal
with, so I used the hyphenated name as my legal name and the trancated
name on business cards and the like.  What a nightmare.  Due to
corporate databases, no one can find me in the office phone book because
they do not know my legal name.  But I had gotten tired of using such a
long name after only a few years.

I am usually not a very traditional person, but I am planning on taking
Joe's name because I believe that when you have children, it is nice to
have a name all family members have.  I love my middle name, so I am
keeping that and loosing the complicated last name.  I always hated
growing up that my "parents" name was different from mine and all the
questions I had to explain.  

This is why I am changing my name.  Prior to our engagement, I kept
telling Joe he needed to marry me so I could get a short last name.

Kirsten (& Joe)
Jan. 4, 1997

: I plan to drop my middle name and use my last name as my middle name.  As
: in Carolyn Kelly Beauchesne.  Hyphenating seems so 80's.

I plan on either keeping all my names and merely adding his name to the
end (Catherine Elizabeth Byland Weeks) or dropping my current middle name
and using my last name as a middle name. Either way, I'll go by Cathy
Weeks.

Cathy

I'm keeping my last name when I get married, after years of saying "No,
it's not a joke" or"Yes, it is really my last name.."  I don't see how I
can really have another.  Besides, his last name is Castruita and I still
don't think I pronouce it as well as he :)

Amy

I'm combining my first and middle names, using my
father's name as my middle name and taking Ryan's
name as my last name . . .

Julie Ann Reese
      to
Julianne Reese Bookser

Julie
12/27  (15 more days!)

In article <58kk8a$1...@news.missouri.edu>, ccca...@black.missouri.edu

I really don't mean to be rude, but I fail to understand how transfering
from being "Cathy Byland" to "Cathy Weeks" constitutes "keeping your name"
(nothing personal Cathy, just needed an example :). I am not opposed to
people changing their names after marriage, I just don't understand why so
many people firmly believe they are "keeping their name" when they do this.
In deciding to "go by Cathy Weeks" you are most definitely *not* keeping
your name, since the Byland is no longer there on a daily basis. If that
isn't changing your name, then I don't know what is.

I really don't mean to be rude, I'm just trying to understand this
phenomenon. I have never experienced it anywhere except on this newsgroup,
and I was hoping someone could explain this to me.

iant (& jawno)  Aug 6, 1995

To which Dorothea Rovner responded:

LOL!  Uh, Dorothea, just another perspective ... from my desk *you* seem a teensy
bit defensive about this subject, not Irene!  She expressed an opinion you may
not agree with, but I'm pretty amused you found her "hostile" when she also
prefaced that opinion with a "flame disclaimer" and  then invited people to
explain their point of view on the subject.  

Right back at you with your own words when I say that I hope THIS is a start
toward understanding and tolerance :)
--Erin (Who happened to keep her name for business and sentimental reasons, but
personally doesn't have any agendas -- personal or political -- that make her
care about what the rest of the female population chooses to do when they get
married.)

(following post re: "keeping one's name")

Hi Iant,

Well, I know for myself there was a specific reason I "kept" my maiden
name after marrying.  My "official" name is Christiana Lynn Calvert
Brogan.  I use the name Christi Calvert Brogan on all official
documents and on any correspondence relating to the reason for keeping
it, that is, genealogy.  I am a geneologist and therefore it was very
important to me to keep my family name, which dies out with me.  In
fact our children will have the choice of which name they prefer when
they are old enough to decide.  But people call me Mrs. Brogan because
it is easier than Mrs. Calvert Brogan, and because some just don't
know that Calvert is my maiden name, not my middle name.  So, while I
am keeping my maiden name and use it often, I also respond to my
husband's name.

Just my $.05 (inflation you know)

Christi Calvert Brogan

"Conjugal Creations"
Wedding Designer
San Antonio, Texas
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