Chickens and stuff
pmartin
Whats the the ' Best Cross the Road ' one........?
That one had me going good. <G> Who thinks these jokes up...?
JP
William Langston
that it CAN be done!
SF, Bill Langston
pmartin <pma...@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:01bf0208$cd01bba0$8726...@pmartin.buf.adelphia.net...
Chandler Knowles
A:
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple
as that.
KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the
president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law
enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal Wrongdoing
our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the
chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme
to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff
intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates
fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted
to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any
Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are
investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev.
Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to
discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to
ruffle his feathers.)
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross before you believe it?
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook- and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?
IMMANUEL KANT:
The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens
have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the
road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
Mokieman
Chandler Knowles <chandle...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:7s1h96$fi2$1...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net...
pmartin
Chandler Knowles <chandle...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in article
<7s1h96$fi2$1...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> EINSTEIN:
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
> chicken?
Yep, this is my favorite.....
dino
dino
In article <7s1h96$fi2$1...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>, "Chandler says...
>
>Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>EINSTEIN:
>Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
>chicken?
>
Steven W. Smith
"Chandler Knowles" <chandle...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
[...]
Outstanding, as usual, Chandler.
Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
A: Because he had a chicken stapled to his face.
But that's pretty wimpy compared to yours...all the best.
Steven
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.
WarLib'yCanada
"Chandler Knowles" <chandle...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
GENERAL HENRI NAVARRE [Commanding French Union Forces, Vietnam, 1954]:
It actually crossed _under_ the road... because there was light at the
end of the culvert.
Regards, Senior Librarian
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