[MOVIE SUMMARY] "Bitten" (2008)
bjk...@hotmail.com
the movie and/or would like a summary for personal use. Contains
spoilers.
2008
BITTEN (aka LADY IS A VAMP)
Cast
Jack ............... Jason Mewes
Roger ...... Richard Fitzpatrick
Danika ............... Erica Cox
Sherry ........... Jordan Madley
Pusher ................. Nic Nac
Twitch ............ Stuart Stone
Maya ........... Amy Lynn Grover
Mrs Lee ............ Grace Armas
Comments
I had never heard of "Bitten" (aka "Lady is a Vamp") before,
probably because it was a straight-to-video release. When I saw that
it was showing on the SciFi channel, I decided to watch it, not
knowing quite what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. "Bitten" is
in the vein of movies like "Dance of the Damned" (1988), "The
Insatiable" (2007), and "The Vampire's Kiss" (1988) in which the plot
centers around the psychological interaction between a vampire and a
human, as opposed to the usual blood, fangs, and T&As. "Bitten" has
been described as a black comedy, because it's mostly rather dark,
but it is broken up by periods of comedy, usually in relation to the
soundtrack. For example, every time Jack is required to clean up
after Danika's feedings, a little ditty called "Tidy Up Your Mess"
plays in the background. "Tidy up your mess, tidy up your mess,
everybody do your best to tidy up your mess" (sung to a tune similar
to "Bringing in the Sheep". The music and vocals are accompanied by a
lot of laughter and squeals that sound like something you'd hear on
"Teletubbies". The story is told against a day-by-day calendar, so
I'll use that format here. "Bitten" was filmed in Ontario, Canada, so
don't ask me why the days are given in Portuguese.
Summary
Martes (Tuesday): Graveyard shift paramedic Jack attempts to subdue a
crazed man by talking him down, but his partner Roger, who has no
love for junkies or other low-lives, advises Jack to just zap him
with
a sedative and have done with it. Jack rationalizes his lapse in
protocol on the fact that he's still pining for his ex-girlfriend
Sherry, who just ditched him for her yoga instructor. Roger advises
Jack to forget Sherry and get some new ass.
Miércoles (Wednesday): On his way home from work, Jack notices a
girl lying in the dumpster in the alley behind his apartment house.
She is covered with blood and seemingly amnesic because she doesn't
remember how she got there. She refuses to go to a hospital, so Jack
takes her inside and cleans her up. He notices bite marks on her
neck, but she can't remember how she got them or what kind of animal
might have made them. She only remembers that her name is Danika.
Jack checks to see whether there have been any reports of a missing
person who fit her description, but comes up dry. Roger is sure that
this "mystery skank" is probably cleaning out Jack's apartment as
they speak.
Viernes (Friday): Danika starts shaking uncontrollably but doesn't
know what's wrong. Jack asks Roger to take a look, and Roger
concludes that Danika is a junkie. He suggests that Jack take her in
for detox, but Jack doesn't believe that Dani's problem is
drug-related. Jack's ex, Sherry, shows up wanting to collect her
clothes and other stuff, but Jack refuses to let her in on the
grounds that he's leaving for work. After he's gone, Sherry lets
herself in, using her old key and comes face to face with Danika.
Sabado (Saturday): Jack returns from work to find Sherry dead. Dani
claims that she can't remember what happened. They begin to make love
on the floor, but Jack gets angry when Dani attempts to bite him.
"What's wrong with me?" Dani moans. Jack notices that she has
sprouted fangs and realizes that, during the five days Dani has been
living with him, he has never seen her in the sunlight. He pulls her
over to a window and opens the curtain a teeny bit. Dani screams, and
her arm begins to blister. Pretty sure that he has a vampire on his
hands, Jack tidies up the mess and puts Sherry's dried up body in a
large crate.
The next day, when Dani begins to shake again, signaling a need
for blood, Jack hunts down a stray cat for her. It only serves to
make her sick, so Jack sneaks into the paramedic station and takes a
pint of blood from the fridge. When that makes Dani barf, too, Jack
realizes that she must have fresh human blood, so he offers her his
arm. Dani promises to take only a little bit but Jack has a hard time
stopping her once she gets going, and still she begs for more. With
no other choices left to him, Jack lures Pusher, the local
drug-pushing pimp, into his apartment and lets Dani feed on him.
After Jack has again tidied up the mess, they go to stuff Pusher's
body into the crate with Sherry, but Sherry suddenly springs to life
and attacks Jack. Dani manages to grab a mop and stake her through
her chest with the handle. Sherry keeps coming back to life but,
after several stakings, Jack finally gets the heart.
When Jack returns to work, Roger sends him home to get some
sleep. "You look like the walking dead," Roger tells him and advises
him to get rid of Danika because she's "draining" him, just like a
black hole sucking in all the energy until there's nothing left. Jack
denies that it's that way with Dani, but he does take Roger's offer
and goes home.
Martes: When Jack returns, he finds Dani staring at Sherry's body.
She asks him how long they went out together and wonders why things
click with some people and not with others. In a tender moment, they
begin to kiss, until Dani pushes Jack away. Her fangs are beginning
to grow, and she's afraid that she might do harm to him. Knowing that
she needs blood again, Jack lures Twitch, Pusher's friend and
business partner, into his apartment by telling him that his Pusher
is hurt and calling for him. Dani sates herself on Twitch's blood,
leaving Jack to once again tidy up the mess.
Miércoles: Jack is surprised when Dani comes to him all dressed up
and wanting to go out partying. Jack refuses because he's afraid that
she might end up feeding on someone in public. He falls asleep on the
couch and has a dream in which Dani locks him in a box and then
plunges a stake through his chest. He is awakened when the telephone
rings. It is Roger telling him to get his butt to work, but Jack
tells him that he is sick. As he hangs up the phone, Dani walks in
with a another woman in tow. Dani's intent is to make love to Jack
and then feast on Maya. After a night of love-making, Jack falls
asleep. When he awakens, he finds Maya lying dead next to him and her
blood all over the sheets, him, and Dani. Jack is livid and swears
that he's somehow going to put an end to this because he doesn't want
to deal with any more bodies. As they're tidying up the mess and
about to put Maya's body in the crate, his landlady suddenly knocks
on the door. Mrs Lee has come to fix the sink and collect her rent
money. When she sees Dani, she assumes that Dani is a hooker, but
when she sees the blood on the floor, she gets scared and starts to
back away, threatening to call the cops. Suddenly Dani is standing
between her and the door, and Dani leaps for Mrs Lee's neck.
Viernes: When Jack goes to work on Friday, he is confronted by Roger
over the missing unit of blood. Roger is still of the notion that
Danika is a junkie and is worried that she's got Jack using, too. He
warns Jack that he's throwing his life away by staying with Dani, but
Jack won't listen. At quitting time, Roger sends Jack on errand.
While Jack is away, Roger goes over to Jack's apartment to confront
Dani. He searches through the garbage until he finds the empty bag of
blood and assumes that Jack gave it to Dani as a transfusion. When he
starts grilling Dani over her background, Dani gets angry. She's just
about to pounce on him when Jack walks in the door. Jack forces Roger
to leave the apartment. He then locks Dani in the bathroom and goes
out for a walk, ending up at Roger's house. Jack asks for Roger's
advice on how to break up with Dani. Roger suggests that Jack simply
tell her straight out to get the f*** out, but Jack can't see himself
being that crass. It isn't until Roger comments that the way to a
woman's heart is "right through her effin' chest" that Jack realizes
what he must do.
Jack returns to his apartment, where Dani is still locked in the
bathroom. He promises to let her out but says that she must listen to
him first. He tells her that he can no longer be involved in this
situation, that he has totally lost himself in the relationship, and
that he needs some space to find himself again. Dani, realizing that
what he's really saying is that he wants to break up, pleads with him
not to leave her. Jack doesn't relent, so she starts to get angry.
When Jack, stake in hand, goes to unlock the bathroom door, Dani
simply breaks it down from the inside. "Are you going to try to kill
me, now?" she shouts and bats him across the floor, just as Roger
enters the apartment. Jack explains to Roger that Dani is a vampire
and that they have to stop her, but Roger doesn't buy it. However,
when he tries to reason with Dani and she bats him across the floor,
too, he agrees with Jack. Together, they rush Dani, but she grabs
Jack and sinks her fangs into his neck. As she is sucking his blood,
Roger comes up from behind and plunges the stake through her
back...five times in all. In the final scene, Roger cradles Jack's
head in his lap and promises that he will take care of him no matter
what happens.