[MOVIE SUMMARY] "The Creeps" (1997)
bjk...@hotmail.com
the movie and/or would like a summary for personal use. Contains
spoilers.
1997
THE CREEPS
Cast
Anna Quarrels ............... Rhonda Griffin
David Raleigh ................. Justin Lauer
Dr Winston Berber ............ Bill Moynihan
Mummy ............................ Joe Smith
Frankenstein's Monster ... Thomas Wellington
Wolfman ........................ Jon Smanton
Dracula ..................... Phil Fondacaro
Miss Christina .............. Kristin Norton
Comments
When I read the description of this movie, which went
something like this: "A mad scientist brings Dracula, the
Wolfman, the Mummy, and Frankenstein's Monster to life, but
there's a hitch: they're all three feet tall," I figured that
this was going to be a stinker. When I finally got around to
watching it, however, I was surprised to find an entertaining
take on the mad-scientist-reawakening-the-monsters plot. The
movie itself is in the vein of movies like "Fright Night" (1985)
and "Once Bitten" (1985) (Justin Lauer even resembles Jim
Carrey). There are a few boob shots, but nothing profane. Phil
Fondacaro (of "Willow" (1988) fame) plays Dracula rather
effectively and is the only one of the monsters to have a
speaking role.
Summary
Anna Quarrels, the new librarian in the Rare Books Room, was
doing her job when the edgy Mr Jamison from the University of
Chicago came in wanting to see Mary Shelley's original manuscript
for "Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus". Anna did everything
right (signed him in, checked his ID, attached the authorization
from the University, and made him don gloves and a mask) before
she laid the precious manuscript in his hands. When he had
finished, she prepared to tuck it back into the stacks. Imagine
her surprise when she discovered that he had switched blank paper
for the manuscript and walked out of the library with it. Checking
his ID, she learns that it was false, so she hires a quirky
Private Detective, David Raleigh, who works out of his video
store, to track him down. By dusting the sign-in sheet, David is
able to lift a set of the man's fingerprints and, after running
them through the National Fingerprint Clearinghouse, he finds out
that the man's name is really Dr Winston Berber. Now it is only a
matter of finding Winston Berber and getting back Shelley's
manuscript.
Meanwhile, Dr Berber is gloating over his collection of rare
manuscripts. Along with Shelley's manuscript, he's now obtained
the originals of Guy Endore's "The Werewolf of Paris" (1933) and
James Putnam's "Mummy" (1993). He needs only to get the first
edition of Bram Stoker's "Dracula" (1897), and his collection
will be complete. Berber needs the manuscripts because, even with
four doctorate degrees in Physics, Mathematics, Folklore, and
Philosophy, he is a nebbish. Consequently, he has created an
"Archetype Inducer" and plans to bring to life the four greatest
monsters from horror history -- the Mummy, the Wolfman, Dracula,
and Frankenstein's monster -- in order to do his bidding.
Two weeks have passed, and David has been so busy at the
video store that he hasn't yet located Berber. Not to worry.
Berber shows up at the library looking for the first edition of
"Dracula" and Anna recognizes him. Holding Berber at bay with a
pair of scissors, she phones David and tells him to hurry over
to the library. Before David can get there, however, Berber
zaps Anna with a taser, steals "Dracula", and takes both the book
and Anna to his laboratory. When Anna comes to, she finds herself
cuffed to a table. Berber informs her that she is just what he
needs -- a virgin between the ages of 20 and 35 -- to sacrifice
naked in order to make the Archetype Inducer work. Suddenly,
Raleigh breaks into the lab, having gotten Berber's address off
his computer at the video store. He knocks Berber out and
releases Anna. Anna grabs all the manuscripts, and they hightail
it out of the lab. Unfortunately, they weren't quick enough.
Berber had already turned on the Archetype Inducer. While Raleigh
and Anna are making their getaway, four figures step out of the
machine -- the Mummy, the Frankenstein monster, the Wolfman, and
Dracula -- only they are midgets.
Dracula isn't happy that he has been brought to life as a
three foot midget, but Berber assures him that he can change that
if he can get his hands on Anna, who is now part of the equation.
So the monsters offer to get her for him. Meanwhile, Anna isn't
too happy either about the bill that David sent her for his
services...$6,200. Anna's supervisor, Miss Christina, isn't happy
either because Anna keeps dodging her advances. When Anna once
again dodges her advances, Christina stays late at the library in
order to make love to the first edition of "Jane Eyre" in the
Rare Book Reading Room. When she hears noise out on the floor,
she goes to investigate and falls prey to Dracula's net. Now it's
Berber who isn't happy, because Christina is not Anna, and he
must have Anna for the procedure to work. However, Dracula forces
him to try it anyway. Berber switches on the machine, Christina
disappears then reappears as a Viking then disappears again. True
to Berber's word, the procedure didn't work, so the monsters set
out again to find Anna.
First stop is David's house, where Dracula attempts to
wrest Anna's address out of him, but David refuses to comply.
When Dracula tries to bite his neck, David flashes the crucifix
on his necklace, says, "Thank God I'm a Catholic," and races out
the door. The monsters and Berber follow him, assuming that he
will lead them to Anna. David leads them to the library. The
monsters attempt to capture Anna, but David grabs Berber and
threatens to break his neck if they don't leave Anna alone.
David pulls out Berber's taser and threatens Dracula, who
simply zaps it, causing it to explode.
Anna and David are taken back to the lab where Berber
again prepares for the procedure. When Dracula asks for assurance
that it will work this time, Berber won't guarantee it because
Anna is not a virgin. Dracula suggests that they find another
woman, a virgin this time, to go through the procedure along with
Anna, but Berber says that will unbalance things. The only way to
keep everything balanced is to find an opposite to Anna -- a male
virgin. After asking David about his virginity, Dracula is
assured that he is indeed a virgin, and the preparations continue
while David tries to come up with a catch. At the last minute,
Anna has an idea. She points out to the monsters that, if they
stay in the real world, they will eventually die like all humans
do. However, if they return to the pages of the novels from
whence they came, they will live on forever as the legends they
are.
Just as Berber pushes the red button to start the machine
working, David and Anna escape from their cuffs. Instead of
them being sucked into the machine, Christina the Viking
reappears, grabs Berber, and they both disappear again. Anna and
David conclude that the machine turned them into archetypes of
a Viking and a mad scientist. Having had a little time to ponder,
Dracula tells David to press the red button again. They have
chosen to return to their own lands as the legends they are
rather than to die in the real world, he explains. Before the
monsters are sucked back into the pages of their respective
novels, Dracula tells Anna that she is wise "for someone who has
not yet lived a single lifetime.But do not fear," he adds, "we
will always be with you...in your nightmares."
Epilogue: Anna shows up at David's video store, gives him a
check for his services, and informs him that Berber's lab has
been torn down. She also gives him a book, the first English
language edition of "Venus in Furs." David thanks her and
admits that he saw the movie. "1970, directed by Jess Franco,
starring Klaus Kinski. Actually, there was an earlier version
directed by Larry Buchanan, the guy who did "Zontar, the Thing
from Venus." Actually, I think there's a '94 version but it's all
in Dutch...," he drones on. Anna interrupts him with a kiss.