Trip Report Part IV: Venice, Paris and beyond
CyberHog!
it. After a nice romantic evening with my best girl, I wake up after five
hours sleep to the sound of church bells??!! The bells in the tower out
front ring at 3 hour intervals, we could hear them all the way up to our
room which was facing the opposite direction. It was not annoying however.
What was annoying was that it was incredibly windy this morning and when
the wind would hit the building it sounded like a thunderstorm in the
distance. I was surprised to see the sun when I opened the curtains. We
later took a look at the windows, and it was the oddest thing we had ever
seen. Seems like there are "vents" along the base of the windows that are
permanently propped open (for ventilation??). They were covered up with
simple scotch tape. That's what was making the noise. Really odd.
Anyway, I had a nice night's sleep in my "throne room" type bed, but I
couldn't help but think how my Las Vegas trips have changed over the years.
In our younger days, the boys would stay out all night long, come home,
change into swim trunks and hang out by the pool. Sleep was something that
was done in one or two hour increments.
On one particular trip with the hens. Caveman, Caveman Sr, Schpoozie and
myself stayed up all night gambling at Harrah's. After we took advantage of
our comped breakfast, we headed back to the Tropicana where we were
staying. As I got back into the room, Francine was getting her swim trunks
on and packing her beach bag. "Don't you think you've gone a little too far
here? It's TEN o'clock, I have no idea where you are, you don't
call.......(blah blah blah)"
Funny, wearing a bikini wouldn't be the first thing a grieving, worried
woman would wear to the police station to file a missing persons report,
but I digress.
When we got out to the pool, Caveman Sr. came out and proclaimed, "Gosh, it
must have been 25 years that I stayed out all night...no wait...I've NEVER
stayed out all night. Man, and here I am at the POOL with a Vodka
Lemonade!!" Ah, that's Las Vegas I told him! You can do ANYTHING here and
you WILL!!. Now, mind you, Caveman Sr. is in his late 60s. Looking back on
that, I doubt that I'd be able to replicate his feat at the rate I'm going.
(As a side note: Caveman Sr. had a gray pallor on the flight home, and
stayed in bed for a week after we got back. Mrs. Caveman was not happy with
us).
I could actually tell you a story about Schpoozie on that same trip, but
he'd absolutely KILL me for telling it to the whole world (I probably have
since I've shared it with so many people in person). The point is though,
it's obvious that all of us are slowing down just a tad, and it has become
really noticeable on our Las Vegas trips of late.
After ringing up Caveman and Kim, we decided to visit them in their room.
We wanted to see how the "peasants" live here at the Venetian. Actually, I
had gotten a good idea from people who have sent in their reviews and from
some Hogs who stayed there right after the "soft" opening. From my
understanding ALL the rooms at Venetian are suites. However, my feeling was
that the term "suite" is a loose term in Las Vegas especially after the Rio
got away with calling their rooms "Suites".
What I saw was what I had expected. These are not really "suites" per se. A
suite by my definition is an abode with a sleeping area SEPARATE from the
living area. At the Rio, this is NOT the case. The room is extremely large,
but it is NOT a suite. At the Venetian, I guess you could technically call
them suites because the sleeping area is separate from the living area,
although it isn't separated by a wall, it's separated by two stairs, as the
living area is lower than the bedroom. I said "technically" call them
suites. I, personally would not call them a suite.
Caveman did point out that since there were stairs separating the bedroom
from the living room, there is a little light that stays on all night to
keep you from stumbling over them. He found it annoying since it looked
like a night light to him, and night lights keep him up (a very fussy
sleeper that Hog). I suppose you could just put a pillow in front of the
thing if it bothered you.
The room was richly appointed. No veneers here guys, most of this stuff is
the real thing. Very classy and rich looking. It doesn't have the open feel
that a typical Rio room has, but it is extremely well appointed for a
normal room. It had all the amenities our room had, except for the extra
TVs over the bar :-) plus it had something we DIDN'T have, a fax/copy
machine on the desk. And a very nice one at that! I guess they are all
business at the V!
The one thing that's missing from both of our suites is a coffee maker.
That's something I always appreciated at the Rio. That first cup is so
necessary for me in the morning, and it's nice not having to schlep all the
way downstairs for a cup of Java.
Another thing that bothered Caveman was the fact that the weather stripping
was missing off the bottom and sides of his shower door. When he took a
shower, water leaked out on to the floor, setting up a potentially
disastrous situation with those shiny marble floors. He resolved this by
putting those beautiful fluffy Venetian towels on the floor to soak up any
excess water as it leaked out. He told the maid about it, and she confirmed
that this was a problem in a lot of the suites. I doubt that, but Caveman
did not pursue this with maintenance.
We decided to head down and get some breakfast. Now this is another minor
quibble we have with the Venetian. While the Grand Lux is a very nice
place, it is way too small to be considered the main coffee shop. When we
got down to the Lux (speedy elevator service-->very UN-Imperial Palace like
:-) there was a line from here to kingdom come. Now, they do have a nice
little food court serving bagels, rolls and fresh coffee, but we were in
the mood for a sit down steak and eggs type deal.
So, it was off to Grand Slam heaven and the Denny's right down the street.
As we were leaving, the fire alarm was going off. The Venetian staff
announced that this was just a"test" but it was a preview of things to come
later in the afternoon.
Man oh Man was it windy! My guess is the wind was gusting around 30 or 40
miles an hour. It was also maybe 50 degrees if we were lucky. Good thing I
packed my turtle neck and windbreaker! It also didn't help that we left the
hotel right near the cab stand. If you want to leave the hotel by foot, you
need to leave through the casino entrance which leads you across the
bridge. We had a little bit of trouble navigating our way out of the
cab/limo stand by foot.
Denny's was an even bigger mob scene than Grand Lux. Maybe all the Venetian
folks had the same idea? Oh well, we put our name on the list and walk
right next door to Casino Royale. What a contrast! This is lower roller
heaven, but we still like it. It's clean, it doesn't smell nasty like the
Gold Spike and they have one dollar tables :-) We had a half hour to kill
so we order up some coffee (age again!) and play some cards while we kill
some time.
Of course, things aren't much better here for us either. The girls quit
after each losing four hands in a row (that's one of our golden rules: four
in a row-->take a break). Joe and I muddle along not catching much of a
streak. I was surprised at the quality of the coffee they sold behind the
bar, and had me another. It wasn't long before our table at Denny's was
ready.
If you would measure the amount of business divided by square footage, you
would swear this was the busiest Denny's in the world. Man, they were
moving people in and out of there like a subway turnstile! Very efficient,
and I must say, for the money it's worth it. I just wish they would buy
some new booths. The springs in ours were shot five years ago. My ass was
sore the whole day after.
Since Caveman and Kim have not been here since even before the Bellagio
opened, we decided that we would spend the day touring Paris and Bellagio.
Before we began, we decided to head over to Madame Tussauds and do the
touristy thing. For 12.50 a person I found this to be slightly overpriced.
7.50 would have been fair.
They had some ding a ling working the cash register and while the line
wasn't long when we got in it, it soon mushroomed as this "eccentric" lady
was "processing" customers. Francine wanted to buy a disposable camera, and
that really threw the dingy for a loop. To top it off, she wanted to pay
with a credit card!!! Total and complete meltdown! It was a good thing her
co-worker got off break to rescue the poor thing, otherwise the line would
have grown to past the Stratosphere!
Once inside, we saw likenesses of Jodi Foster (one of my faves), Mel Gibson
(for Fran, but hey, Mel's a hog too), Arnold Schwarzenegger (for
Caveman-->the greatest actor of our time) and Brad Pitt (for Caveman again,
only so he could "size him up" for when he beats the crap out of him in
person). The most amazing likeness was that of Larry King. Man, I tell you
it was uncanny! I thought the guy was standing right there listening to me
bad mouth Oprah. Of course it helps the wax museum if the subject looks
like a wax dummy to begin with, but it was amazing. Another very good
likeness was The Artist (formerly known as Prince). But Bruce Springsteen
was disappointing. If the boss is this tiny in person, he's no big deal!
The tour also includes a step by step demonstration of how the whole
process is accomplished and it is quite an involved one at that. What's
interesting is that Tussaud does not pay the celebrity nor vice versa. It
is considered "an honor" to be chosen to be a subject. It also helps the
celebrity from a PR stand point as well.
At the end of the tour, they have a real cheesy "history" of Las Vegas show
that lasts all of eight minutes, replete with an awful mechanized Elvis
Presley. Egad! I guess this why the tour cost 12.50 huh? Anyway, if you're
into this sort of thing, you'll enjoy it. For me, I don't believe they take
all those measurements of the stars. Oprah NEVER looked like THAT (the ego
maniac probably had them shave off about four inches off her hips).
After Tussaud's we were off to Paris. We walked past Harrah's, IP and the
Hilton. The walk is a lot longer than it looks because you have to wind
around the new entry way at Harrah's. While we were walking we were
accosted every two or three hundred yards by those awful flesh peddlers on
the street. C'mon, we're walking down the street with our wives for Christ
sake! Yet here they were aggressively stuffing these things in my face. I
don't get it, these are just ads for phone sex and other "entertainers". Do
people actually pick these things up, and call one of these girlies bending
over so seductively in the pictures?? And do they actually believe they
WILL actually LOOK like that? C'mon!! What was really annoying was that it
didn't matter if the guy was walking alone or with his FAMILY they were
still coming right up to him with that rolled up advertisement! I've never
remembered it to be this bad, and I'm not for wasting police time on this,
but something ought to be done about this. I was really tempted to haul off
on one of them :-(
The flesh peddling continued all the way up to Paris. And if we weren't
going to visit, we would have ducked in just to get away from them. One of
things we wanted to do was head up the Eiffel Tower for a cocktail and what
is probably a better of view of the strip than the Stratosphere (the view
there is overrated IMHO). Unfortunately, because of the high winds, the
elevator was out of service for the day, which was a bummer.
We ventured into the casino, and the idea of gambling this early certainly
did not appeal to me. So, we decided to walk around. One of the things that
immediately got our attention was the SMELL in this place. Maybe they had
some sewer problems, but sweet Jesus it smelled like a Chicago (Paris?)
subway. Yuck. As we walked further in, the smell seemed to lessen a bit, or
perhaps we were just getting used to it.
We walked past rows and rows of those damn slot machines. Boy did they pack
those babies in. I doubt that Oprah given her present girth could squeeze
into those rows (although her wax figurine could make it with ease:-). I
bet when this place gets crowded, it gets pretty tight in the slot pit.
We did not spend a real significant time touring Paris. I must say it gave
me the distinct impression that I was in the Paris version of New York New
York. It just has that same "urban" feel (which is what I suppose they were
aiming for). The real Paris is not on my "to do" list, and it's namesake
casino did nothing to inspire me to change my mind. Maybe we'll revisit
this spring when we head out again, but for now we wanted to escape the
smell.
Out near the cab stand was a nice likeness of the Arc De Triumphe (sp?).
Although not having seen the original, I guess I shouldn't make a comment
like that, but it left me the impression that perhaps we were a little hard
on the place. It seemed (like New York New York) that they went through a
lot of effort to recreate Paris landmarks, but I just can't explain why it
fell so flat on my impression.
Kim and Joe were standing looking over Las Vegas Boulevard and were
marveling at the front of the Bellagio. Now THIS was impressive. The faux
water front extends for at least a quarter of a mile and if you didn't know
any better you would think you were walking along the Chicago River
downtown. Nice landscaping, and the whole thing looks magnificent when the
sun is shining.
Inside, the hotel is understated class all the way. Not as visually
stunning as Venetian, but the proof is in the details, details, details. I
have expounded on the virtues of the Bellagio during a trip report last
January, but at the risk of repeating myself, this must be the "warmest"
casino I've ever been in, if that's possible. The use of the yellows and
burnt orange on the awnings over the pit and the lighting give it a real
homey, earthy feel that no other casino even comes close to. Caesar's Forum
Casino is impressive, but Bellagio's is impressive for a completely
different reason.
Once again, the incredible use of wood moldings blows me away. Could it
really be vinyl moldings and then painted white? Some of the archways and
curves must be a real bitch to get so perfectly correct. There has to be a
dirty trick here somewhere. If it is real (and I bet it is) it just points
up the fact that Las Vegas has gone past kitsch (Luxor, Excalibur) and has
matured (just like us??) to real class with the Venetian and Bellagio.
After wandering through the beautiful Christmas display in the conservatory
and touring the rest of the casino, we sat down and had a drink at the bar
right around the corner from the conservatory (Fran didn't take her match
book, so I don't know the name of the bar) and we had a few (a lot) of
cocktails. The bill was a little staggering, since it was about 6 to 9
dollars a drink, but we were happy to cool our heels and just soak in the
warmth of this place. A couple sitting in the couches next to us were
partaking in some caviar that was too expensive to imagine. I had to giggle
when the guy slopped it all over his Armani pants!! There goes about 50
bucks worth of Beluga Caviar!
We decided to head back to the Venetian. The girls wanted to do some
"shopping" (Yippee) and the boys were going to do some
pre-cocktail/pre-dinner gambling. When we re-entered the Venetian, the damn
fire alarm went off again. Maybe this was their way of signifying a jackpot
winner we thought. Sure enough, they were continuing "their test of the
fire alarm system". We figured since New Years Eve was right around the
corner, we couldn't blame them for testing this thing once or twice on a
Saturday afternoon.......
Caveman was a little worried sending his wife off into the extravaganza
known as the Grand Canal Shoppes. That e at the end of shop always bugs the
hell out of him. It's their way of saying since we jacked up the prices so
much, we can afford to throw up an extra "e" on that sign! Never mind Joe,
as I order up a round of cocktails from the tallest bustiest cocktail
waitress I've ever seen!! Needless to say Joe's mind was quickly on other
"things".
But not for long. Here comes the fire alarm drill again! Holy mackerel,
can't they do that with the sound OFF? Or how about shutting it down after
15 seconds, instead of allowing it to go on and on and on and on?? The hogs
that were sitting at the table with us, informed us that this had been
going on ALL DAY. The one guy, Ralph was really PO'd about it. He
complained to the Pit Critter about it, but "there was nothing he could do
about it." Finally, in disgust, Ralph cashed out and mumbled "never again!"
After waiting 20 minutes for our Busty dream to return with our drink
order, we had to endure another round of Fire Alarm testing. By the time
the girls got back from shopp(e)ing, we sat through, and I am NOT
exaggerating three more of these shrill displays of hotel safety. Like
Ralph, we decided we had had enough and were going to get ready for dinner.
At this rate, I'd rather put up with the stink at Paris!
Kim's niece Deanna was in town celebrating her second anniversary (we were
in town for her wedding in Las Vegas-->hence the rodeo/suite upgrade deja
vu). Deanna was staying at the Las Vegas Hilton with her husband and four
friends from California. They had heard about our suite upgrade and were
dying to see it for themselves. So, we decided to pick up some booze,
mixers and party snacks for the pre-dinner cocktail soiree at our
penthouse!
When they arrived in the lobby they phoned up, and I sent my "butler"
(Caveman) to "fetch" them. We assured them he would be down in a jiff and
were confident of the extremely speedy elevator service at the Venetian (in
the background I heard the fire alarm "testing"). After about 10 minutes,
we get another call. No butler had arrived yet! Gee, I wonder if Caveman
got lost? I inquired as to their exact location and told them I'll be down
in a second. No sooner do I hang up the phone and put on my sport coat, the
phone rings and it's the "butler". He has our guests and will be heading up
shortly.
It seems that when Caveman was about halfway down the elevator, the power
cut out and the elevator stopped. Gee, I hope this wasn't part of the alarm
"testing"!! Nice to have an elevator full of people stuck between floors
during a raging inferno! I sure hope they "learn" some things from all of
this "testing"!!!
Another thing that sort of irked me, I shouldn't complain since I was
upgraded (you ungrateful lout), but for the sake of "even handed"
reporting, there really is insufficient glassware and utensils at the bar.
I suppose we could have ordered some up from room service, but two wine
glasses were all we had. I had to use the toothbrush from our toiletry kits
to stir the drinks. Just thought that this kind of stuff would be
available, but I guess not.
Despite the lack of bar utensils and glassware (we used four glasses from
our bathroom and I sent the "butler" down to the servant's quarters for the
rest) we managed to have a nice little cocktail party. Everyone was
impressed with the suite and the nice view we had of the North Strip. We
hadn't decided on dinner. Although we were dressed up, we weren't in the
mood for fancy, and we wanted it quick. I suggested the Bellagio buffet,
since everyone was raving about it at AVLV. Deanna's friend assured me the
most underrated buffet could be had at the Mirage.
For 15.95 and not a long line, I thought was a good start. And while the
food was OK, it certainly wasn't as bountiful from a selection point of
view as the Rio's Carnival Buffet. They had a pasta station, shrimp and
crab legs, the typical steam table with some very good pork, but for the
most part it wasn't what I had in mind. Next time, I should insist on the
opinions of my brothers on AVLV!
After dinner, we played for a couple of hours in the casino. Joe and I
noticed that Siegfied and Roy were on the Mirage's five dollar chip. We
were wondering if S&R would have the same effect on our luck that Danny
Gans did at the Rio during Jimbo's bachelor party. That's when we learned
about "Voodoo Blackjack". So, just in case, whenever our Teutonic friends
were eyeballing us we'd promptly turn them over. We didn't have the same
luck with the boys as we had with turning over Danny Gans. An inebriated
(by this time) Caveman was searching for any "Sigmund and Freud" chips he
could find in his stack of fives. He decided to "color them out" so he
could "cleanse" his pile of the bad luck that the vacationing tiger tamers
may have brought him.
Surprisingly, The Mirage was kind to us, as we actually walked out of there
with a nice net gain. Although it wasn't like the thousands we hauled out
after "Voodoo Blackjack" it had Caveman wondering if there wasn't something
to this "Sigmund and Freud" thing after all.
For whatever reason, the gang wanted to head downtown. I had no problem
with this, but I didn't think downtown was on the itinerary for this trip.
We decided to meet in front of the million dollars at Binions at around 9
(or 10, can't recall). We got there early and waited for the obligatory FSE
show. Of course, we were stuck with the "Sappy Trails" which is easily the
lamest of the shows. Those damn steers never stopped stampeding through my
head the last time I saw them.
After the show, Binions announced that their 3.00 steak was now officially
on sale. Holy cripes you should have seen the line for this baby! In fact,
the entire casino was hopping, I mean it was jammed to the rafters.
Compared to their strip brethren, Binions was downright busy! Maybe this is
where the cowboys were at! In either case, I bet there were more people in
the casino that night than in any night at Venetian (or so it seemed; the
place was never oozing with people playing). Not bad for a place that is
supposedly being "mismanaged".
What was going on at Binions was only a preview though. We walked across to
Golden Nugget and the place was STUFFED with people. I had never seen the
place so full in all of my life. ALL of the tables were open (unlike the
entire unmanned pit at Venetian) and full of players. This place was
jumpin' big time. We never could figure out why. Sure, there were more
Cowboys here (more of the dimestore variety though), but there were just
more "regular" folks everywhere.
Maybe everyone is stepping back away from this mega resorts. Maybe these
resorts are so big, they never seem full. In any case, I had NEVER seen it
like this. It was amazing.
We never were able to sit down and play. So back to the Venetian we go,
hoping and praying that the place passed it's last fire alarm test of the
trip................
--
CyberHog!
Hangin' With The Hogs
Where The Adult Male Rules
http://www.hwth.com