The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not Gloucester at all but Glawster, and is situated north of Bristow and south of Burmagum.
The accent is simple and easy to follow, provided you cut out this article and keep it about your person at all times during your stay. First, transport hints for travelling during your stay here.
The best way to get around Gloucester is aboard a large vehicle called a buzz. These are found at buzz tops. At a buzz top you ketch yer buzz.
ATTRACTIONS Once in the city centre, known as up the town, attractions include the Po Stoffice where you can buy post lorders, stamps etc. Ladies queuing in front of you may be holding children in their arms. These are known as babbiz. The Po Stoffice is open all week Mundee to Sardee, but never on a Sundee. The same is true of Omes Tores, the well-know Sainsbriz.
FOOD The correct way of saying hungry is 'Ant add nutten teat all day' - a suitable reply is 'Ant ya?' To satisfy your hunger you have to find a place where you can summit teat. When you find one, you say 'yer tiz'. If it's a self-service place you greet the owner with the phrase - 'ow be?', he will reply, 'Notsa bad, an you?' Indicate the food you want by saying, 'I'll ave some o' them chips'. You should always say them instead of 'those' and 'er' instead of 'she'. Hence the phrase 'Er et all them elvers on Sardee'. Similarly 'im is used instead of 'it'. For example, 'werz me wheelbarra? I ad im yesde.'
PHRASES Questions begin with the words 'Wer?', 'Oooo?', 'Ow?', etc. Answers are 'tis' (positive) and 'tent' (negative). The word 'yes' has been abolished in Gloucester and replaced by 'aah'. If a local is not certain whether a thing 'tis' or 'tent' he will be non-committal and say 'spexso', 'praps', or 'spose'. In Gloucester you must remember that you never go TO a place but UP it. So you should say 'up the doctor's', 'up the library', 'up the vets' and 'up the bingo'. Occasionally, words are added to the end of a sentence to form a question such as 'ennit'. Example: 'Good up yer ennit?'. Another such word is 'cannus', as in 'can't do tall at once cannus?'. Quite often the word 'mind' is added at the end of a sentence for emphasis. For example if someone asks you where you are going: 'Were ya going?' 'Up town mind'. The word 'mind' is often used in rugby. For instance: 'ees a big un mind' or 'played well mind'. (Note: rugby is the most widely worshipped religion in Glawster.)
COMPLIMENT People and things you like should be referred to as 'proper good'. You also use the word 'proper' when you want to emphasise another word, as in 'Them cockles was proper tasty'. Strangely, you can be 'proper drunk' and a 'proper devil' too. If you stop liking someone then you have 'gawn awf' them. Mouldy cheese is also described as 'gawn awf'. If during your visit your health goes awf, be sure to get a doctor's sustiffcut. The highest compliment you can pay to people you are fond of is to describe them as 'dead good', 'dead generous', etc. A cheerful youngster is a 'dead appy babee'. It is also possible to be dead lively and dead awake.
Now try these for practice: I sin im yesdee. Me babbiz lost her at. Tent right . Tis! Praps, praps not. Givus un yer. Werya bin? - Werja think?
Preferably this should be done late at night, to the noise of car doors slamming and the sound should be loud enough to carry four times around the block.
To your 'Ta-laas' they will shout the traditional Gloucester phrase, 'Seeya gen'.
> The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not Gloucester > at all but Glawster, and is situated north of Bristow and south of > Burmagum.
[big snip]
An admirable effort, though not without its shortcomings.
What study of yokeleeze is complete without mention of that universally useful word "Gurt". Used alone, it means "big" as in
"Ees gurt, ennim?" (He's big, isn't he?) "Thassa gurt t'marter you got thur, ennit?" (You have a large tomato, don't you?)
It is more versatile than this, however. It is also widely used for emphasis (an alternative to 'proper'), giving
"Oi asta squeeze this gurt big pimmle" (I must do something about my acne)
"Him's gunarafta foind a gurt tracter ifn ee wants to get that gurt big lot of tayters up town, mind". (He will need a large tractor to transport that huge pile of Kind Edwards).
It also has a rarer use; to refer to one's mother.
"Oi, Gurt". (Mater, may I bother you?)
It should also be pointed out (in order to save potential confusion) that Wells (the city, as in "Bath and Wells") is pronounced identically to Wales (the country). Both sound rather like "wews". Rather than suffer the inconvenience of making one of the two words sound different, locals may say
"Ees going up Welsh Wews" (He's going to Wales) "Ees going up Wews" (He's going to Wells).
"Welsh" is introduced as the differentiator. In this case, it is not redundant in speech.
Finally, we have the inexplicable lengthening of some words, for example
"Oi cassn't see fer dust" (I can't see anything).
Perhaps you might consider these comments as potential additions to your (no doubt forthcoming) "Goide to the Wesscountry".
> The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not Gloucester > at all but Glawster, and is situated north of Bristow and south of > Burmagum.
> The accent is simple and easy to follow, provided you cut out this > article and keep it about your person at all times during your stay. > First, transport hints for travelling during your stay here.
Well done, felix!
It has a lot in common with Strine (as documented by Prof Afferbeck Lauder). Glawster must be one of the places we borrowed our language from.
feli...@hotmail.com (felix) writes: > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is rather different.
There was once a young lady of Gloucester, Whose parents were sure they had lost her. For in the green grass Was the print, etc. -- --- Joe Fineman j...@TheWorld.com
||: A scientist wants to be right; a politician wants to have :|| ||: been right. :||
> > There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > > Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
> That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > distinction.
In standard English, as spoken by the rest of the country (but not by the inhabitants of Glawster itself), Gloucester rhymes exactly with "lost 'er".
Other places to watch out for are Bicester, which sounds as if it should be spelt Bister; Worcester which sounds midway between Wuster and Wooster; but don't start getting too clever, because Cirencester is pronounced exactly as spelt (Syren-cester).
Incidentally, all the towns ending in -cester (eg Worcester, Bicester), -caster (eg Lancaster), and -chester (eg Manchester, Chester) originated as Roman military camps. Their name derives from "castra", the Latin for camp.
On Sat, 17 Nov 2001, Richard Chambers wrote: > Richard Fontana wrote > > On Fri, 16 Nov 2001, Joe Fineman wrote:
> > > There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > > > Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
> > That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > > the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > > distinction.
> In standard English, as spoken by the rest of the country (but not by the > inhabitants of Glawster itself), Gloucester rhymes exactly with "lost 'er".
Standard *wot*? I think you mean standard Englandish, but I'm not entirely sure.
I can't really make a generalization about American English on this point, except that I'm guessing most CINC Americans put "lost" in the "caught" class. "Gloucester" is sort of a funny thing. The only Gloucester in the US that I know of is the charming little fishing village in eastern Massachusetts. In that dialect region people are typically CIC. So I can't quite explain why I use the "cot" vowel in "Gloucester", but it might be one of those Utah=Utaw things. All's I can tell you is is "Glawster" doesn't sound right. (Are there any native Massachusetts CINCs out there who can shed some light on this?)
I remember in Shakespeare the spelling "Gloster" occurs, for whatever that's worth. But I guess the "cot" vowel is used in UK "lost".
> Other places to watch out for are Bicester, which sounds as if it should be > spelt Bister; Worcester which sounds midway between Wuster and Wooster;
Worcester Mass is /wUstR/ or /wUst@/, using the vowel of "book".
>> > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not >> > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
>> So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is >> rather different.
>> There was once a young lady of Gloucester, >> Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
>That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has >the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this >distinction.
> > > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not > > > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
> > So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is > > rather different.
> > There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > > Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
> That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > distinction.
I think that in Gloucester, Gloucestershire, both "Gloucester" and "lost" would have the "caught" vowel. This used to be quite common in southern England, including old-fashioned RP - indeed I wouldn't be surprised if a1a pronounces them /lO:st/ and /glO:st@(r)/. You quite often see "orf" written as eye-dialect (usually representing upper-class speech) for "off", although of course no-one actually puts an /r/ in it.
These days most people in England will call Gloucester /glA.st@(r)/ and pronounce "lost", "off" etc. with /A./.
<dick.no_spam_please.chamb...@cwcom.net> wrote: >Richard Fontana wrote >> On Fri, 16 Nov 2001, Joe Fineman wrote:
>> > There was once a young lady of Gloucester, >> > Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
>> That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has >> the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this >> distinction.
>In standard English, as spoken by the rest of the country (but not by the >inhabitants of Glawster itself), Gloucester rhymes exactly with "lost 'er".
>Other places to watch out for are Bicester, which sounds as if it should be >spelt Bister; Worcester which sounds midway between Wuster and Wooster; but >don't start getting too clever, because Cirencester is pronounced exactly as >spelt (Syren-cester).
I thought it was pronounced Sisister - or is that an urban legend?
>>> > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not >>> > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
>>> So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is >>> rather different.
>>> There was once a young lady of Gloucester, >>> Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
>>That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has >>the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this >>distinction.
>Rhymes for me, I use the "cot" vowel for both. >Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
EE/cockney has a pronunciation of 'lost', which inserts a hypothetical 'r' so that you get 'lorst'. Even 'across' in this dialect becomes 'acrorst'. That's Richard's "caught" vowel, like that of 'Glawster' (but you have to come from Gloucester to say Glawster--everybody else says 'GLOSStah'.
I see out Belfast expert thinks the 'lorst' is "old RP". Perhaps he thinks W.W. Jacobs (a great eye-dialect writer) graduated his nightwatchman from Harrow, with Churchill.
> >>> > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not > >>> > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
> >>> So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is > >>> rather different.
> >>> There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > >>> Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
> >>That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > >>the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > >>distinction.
> >Rhymes for me, I use the "cot" vowel for both.
> >Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
> EE/cockney has a pronunciation of 'lost', which inserts a hypothetical > 'r' so that you get 'lorst'. Even 'across' in this dialect becomes > 'acrorst'. That's Richard's "caught" vowel, like that of 'Glawster' > (but you have to come from Gloucester to say Glawster--everybody else > says 'GLOSStah'.
Just to clarify matters: *My* caught vowel, as opposed to my reference to the caught vowel, is unlike the RP caught vowel phonetically. Still, like your RP and EE/cockney speakers I am CINC in my own way. But in my CINC US case, "gloss", like "loss" and "lost", gets the "caught" vowel and not the "cot" vowel. So to me "Glosster" and "Glawster" suggest pretty much the same pronunciation, except that "Glawster" could be eye-dialect for a markedly close or diphthongized "caught" vowel.
Just why I use the "caught" vowel in "Gloucester [Massachusetts]", the first Gloucester I probably ever heard of (though actually Gloucester occurs in a familiar nursery rhyme, does it not?) so insistently is unclear, since Massachusetts speakers, from the greater Boston region, are likely to merge cot and caught. It may be that to me or, more likely, whomever I learned the pronunciation of "Gloucester" from (most likely immediate ancestors), the Massachusettsian vowel sounded more like a cot than a caught in that particular word. Odd, though, since I have heard Bostonian pronunciations of "Gloucester" that sounded more like "Glawstah" to me, where by "aw" I mean that most familiar Boston 'cod' diphthong that sort of sounds like "wa".
hayes...@yahoo.com (Steve Hayes) wrote in message <news:3bf5cebf.3811496@news.saix.net>... > On Fri, 16 Nov 2001 17:14:30 -0500, Richard Fontana <rf...@sparky.cs.nyu.edu> > wrote:
> >> > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not > >> > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
> >> So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is > >> rather different.
> >> There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > >> Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
> >That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > >the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > >distinction.
> Rhymes for me, I use the "cot" vowel for both.
Do you also use the "cot" vowel in "off"? My image of South African accents (which largely comes from cricket commentators) is that they tend to make "off" sound like "awf" [O:f] to my ears.
> > >> > The first point all tourists must learn is that this is not > > >> > Gloucester at all but Glawster,
> > >> So also for the fishing town in Massachusetts, but everything else is > > >> rather different.
> > >> There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > > >> Whose parents were sure they had lost her. And then I wrote: > > >That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > > >the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > > >distinction.
Actually, though, it sounds like Joe Fineman is saying that the Massachusetts "Gloucester" is "Glawster", which I suppose indicates that he is a native CINC and not a CIC person. But then I think it further suggests that CINC Joe Fineman uses the "cot" vowel in "lost".
> > Richard Fontana wrote > > > On Fri, 16 Nov 2001, Joe Fineman wrote:
> > > > There was once a young lady of Gloucester, > > > > Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
> > > That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has > > > the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this > > > distinction.
> > In standard English, as spoken by the rest of the country (but not by the > > inhabitants of Glawster itself), Gloucester rhymes exactly with "lost 'er".
> Standard *wot*? I think you mean standard Englandish, but I'm not > entirely sure.
> I can't really make a generalization about American English on this point, > except that I'm guessing most CINC Americans put "lost" in the > "caught" class. "Gloucester" is sort of a funny thing. The only > Gloucester in the US that I know of is the charming little fishing village > in eastern Massachusetts. In that dialect region people are typically > CIC. So I can't quite explain why I use the "cot" vowel in > "Gloucester", but it might be one of those Utah=Utaw things. All's I can > tell you is is "Glawster" doesn't sound right. (Are there any native > Massachusetts CINCs out there who can shed some light on this?)
> I remember in Shakespeare the spelling "Gloster" occurs, for whatever > that's worth. But I guess the "cot" vowel is used in UK "lost".
> > Other places to watch out for are Bicester, which sounds as if it should be > > spelt Bister; Worcester which sounds midway between Wuster and Wooster;
> Worcester Mass is /wUstR/ or /wUst@/, using the vowel of "book".
That's essentially the same as the one in England then. People in Gloucester are probably mostly rhotic and people in Worcester may be as well (it would only affect the final "r" if they are, the first one being silent everywhere), but I'm not quite sure where the boundary is. Bristol is rhotic (very strikingly so) and Birmingham isn't.
I don't know whether Clarence thinks that "Belfast" is an insult, but given his bigoted views about the Irish, I can believe that he does. He seems to be incredibly ignorant for one who tries to lay down the law on which pronunciations are correct. It is well known that old-fashioned varieties of RP have /O:/ in "off", and that that pronunciation is associated with upper-class speech (as well as Cockney and Gloucester). The Queen, for one, is known for using it (or does Clarence think her a Cockney as well?).
"Richard Chambers" <dick.no_spam_please.chamb...@cwcom.net> wrote in message <news:4SiJ7.46$_x4.1132@news2-hme0>... > Cirencester is pronounced exactly as > spelt (Syren-cester).
Except in Cirencester (and Glawster) where it's pronounced 'Soyrencester.'
>> > Richard Fontana wrote >> > > On Fri, 16 Nov 2001, Joe Fineman wrote:
>> > > > There was once a young lady of Gloucester, >> > > > Whose parents were sure they had lost her.
>> > > That doesn't rhyme! "Gloucester" has the "cot" vowel, and "lost" has >> > > the "caught" vowel. But people in Gloucester Mass wouldn't make this >> > > distinction.
>> > In standard English, as spoken by the rest of the country (but not by the >> > inhabitants of Glawster itself), Gloucester rhymes exactly with "lost 'er".
>> Standard *wot*? I think you mean standard Englandish, but I'm not >> entirely sure.
>> I can't really make a generalization about American English on this point, >> except that I'm guessing most CINC Americans put "lost" in the >> "caught" class. "Gloucester" is sort of a funny thing. The only >> Gloucester in the US that I know of is the charming little fishing village >> in eastern Massachusetts. In that dialect region people are typically >> CIC. So I can't quite explain why I use the "cot" vowel in >> "Gloucester", but it might be one of those Utah=Utaw things. All's I can >> tell you is is "Glawster" doesn't sound right. (Are there any native >> Massachusetts CINCs out there who can shed some light on this?)
>> I remember in Shakespeare the spelling "Gloster" occurs, for whatever >> that's worth. But I guess the "cot" vowel is used in UK "lost".
>> > Other places to watch out for are Bicester, which sounds as if it should be >> > spelt Bister; Worcester which sounds midway between Wuster and Wooster;
>> Worcester Mass is /wUstR/ or /wUst@/, using the vowel of "book".
>That's essentially the same as the one in England then. People in >Gloucester are probably mostly rhotic and people in Worcester may be >as well (it would only affect the final "r" if they are, the first one >being silent everywhere), but I'm not quite sure where the boundary >is. Bristol is rhotic (very strikingly so) and Birmingham isn't.
>I don't know whether Clarence thinks that "Belfast" is an insult, but >given his bigoted views about the Irish, I can believe that he does. >He seems to be incredibly ignorant for one who tries to lay down the >law on which pronunciations are correct. It is well known that >old-fashioned varieties of RP have /O:/ in "off", and that that >pronunciation is associated with upper-class speech (as well as >Cockney and Gloucester). The Queen, for one, is known for using it >(or does Clarence think her a Cockney as well?).
>Jonathan
Your extraordinary pronouncements lead me to believe that you are not only Irish, but Roman Cartholic Irish, and hence twice as full of bull as most of God's creatures.
Once again, RP does not have 'orf'. And it never has had 'orf'.
On Sat, 17 Nov 2001 12:27:21 GMT, hayes...@yahoo.com (Steve Hayes) wrote:
>On Sat, 17 Nov 2001 01:14:07 -0000, "Richard Chambers" ><dick.no_spam_please.chamb...@cwcom.net> wrote: >>Other places to watch out for are Bicester, which sounds as if it should be >>spelt Bister; Worcester which sounds midway between Wuster and Wooster; but >>don't start getting too clever, because Cirencester is pronounced exactly as >>spelt (Syren-cester).
>I thought it was pronounced Sisister - or is that an urban legend?
I'm sure I've heard that Cirencester has a local pronunciation, but I don't recall it, and I don't think it's widely known. Certainly, I've only ever heard it as 'siren sessta' /'saIr@n,sEst@/ and it's less than seventy miles from where I grew up.
On Sat, 17 Nov 2001 10:26:40 -0500, Richard Fontana <rf...@sparky.cs.nyu.edu> wrote, in part:
>Just why I use the "caught" vowel in "Gloucester [Massachusetts]", the >first Gloucester I probably ever heard of (though actually Gloucester >occurs in a familiar nursery rhyme, does it not?) so insistently is >unclear, since Massachusetts speakers, from the greater Boston region, are >likely to merge cot and caught.
Doctor Foster Went to Gloucester In a shower of rain He stepped in a puddle Right up to his middle And never went there again.
I think I must have learned that more than forty years ago. But I can't remember to go shopping while the supermarket is open. Isn't memory an odd thing?
So do you rhyme "Foster" and "Gloucester", Richard?
Richard Fontana <rf...@sparky.cs.nyu.edu> writes: > Actually, though, it sounds like Joe Fineman is saying that the > Massachusetts "Gloucester" is "Glawster", which I suppose indicates > that he is a native CINC and not a CIC person.
Commander in Chief? Ah, no. For the record, I am not a Massachusetts native, and tho I have lived in the state off & on for a total of 24 years, I doubt if my pronunciation has been much affected. I believe my dialect is fundamentally midwestern (due to my mother), much overlaid with affectations. For me, "cot" is [kAt], "caught" is [kOt], and "Gloucester" is [glOst-r]
> But then I think it further suggests that CINC Joe Fineman uses the > "cot" vowel in "lost".
No. [lOst]. Gloucester, lost her, and Foster rhyme perfectly in my dialect (along with crossed her, which completes the limerick). -- --- Joe Fineman j...@TheWorld.com
||: When a Scotsman moves to England, it raises the average of :|| ||: intelligence in both countries. :||
On Sat, 17 Nov 2001 22:30:14 GMT, Joe Fineman <j...@TheWorld.com> wrote:
||: When a Scotsman moves to England, it raises the average of :|| ||: intelligence in both countries. :||
This implies, not only that Scotsmen are of higher intelligence than the English, but also that they're leaving behind something of higher intelligence than themselves. This would be the Scotswomen, presumably.
On Sat, 17 Nov 2001 14:18:20 GMT, a1a51...@sprint.ca wrote: >EE/cockney has a pronunciation of 'lost', which inserts a hypothetical >'r' so that you get 'lorst'. Even 'across' in this dialect becomes >'acrorst'. That's Richard's "caught" vowel, like that of 'Glawster' >(but you have to come from Gloucester to say Glawster--everybody else >says 'GLOSStah'.
>I see out Belfast expert thinks the 'lorst' is "old RP". Perhaps he >thinks W.W. Jacobs (a great eye-dialect writer) graduated his >nightwatchman from Harrow, with Churchill.
I recall a book from my childhood (Secret seven?) in which the local fuzz was in the habit of saying "Clear orf".
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