Is there a word that describes me?
Jim
bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would study
myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of "home-study",
it has been a complete failure. I've found I've wasted a lot of time
and not made much progress. I feel guilty because I've got it pretty
good compared to my peers (other people my age). I know they're
working their arses off under deadlines and have additional
stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents in good house & suburb,
and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken care of.
For the record, I don't have a bludging attitude; I'm really trying to
get myself together and get on track and work hard. I've got some
problems in my life, but that's no excuse... anyway...
So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
"slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
cheers
John Dean
"Jim" <y...@understand.com> wrote in message
news:p0rnbus16cfn3uvgc...@4ax.com...
>
> So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
> stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
>
--
John Dean
Oxford
De-frag to reply
rzed
It's a viewpoint question. From the outside, looking in, it's pretty much
the way "slacker" is used around here:
SYLLABICATION: slack·er
PRONUNCIATION: slkr
NOUN: 1. One who shirks work or responsibility:
"In terms of their outlook on the future, slackers regard tomorrow with a
studied cynicism or . . . don't even conceive of one" (Julie Caniglia,
Utne Reader May/June 1994).
From the inside, looking out, you might consider something like "searcher"
or "uncommitted".
Odysseus
>
> So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
> stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
>
--Odysseus
Pat Durkin
> bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would study
> myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of "home-study",
> it has been a complete failure. I've found I've wasted a lot of time
> and not made much progress. I feel guilty because I've got it pretty
> good compared to my peers (other people my age). I know they're
> working their arses off under deadlines and have additional
> stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents in good house & suburb,
> and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken care of.
>
> So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
> stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
Introspective, self-absorbed, depressed, immature, adolescent, temporarily
defeated, at a plateau in my emotional development (any one or all of them
together).
I expect most of us have been there at one time or another, and more often
than once. Just pray you get over it before you kill your folks or they
kill you.
Mason Barge
Unfocused. I would actually be a bit more worried about living at
home than not having found my slot in life at your young age.
I wasn't ready for university at your age either. I spent three years
in the army and when I got out, I made it through college in four
years, in good shape.
So one suggestion -- since it seems to me that you are looking for
life advice or a kick in the pants rather than a word definition -- is
to bite off something you can't back out of for a couple of years.
--
Mason Barge
"People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like."
-- Abraham Lincoln
Harvey V
> I'm not feeling too good with myself right now - sort of ashamed.
> I bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would
> study myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of
> "home-study", it has been a complete failure. I've found I've
> wasted a lot of time and not made much progress. I feel guilty
> because I've got it pretty good compared to my peers (other people
> my age). I know they're working their arses off under deadlines
> and have additional stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents
> in good house & suburb, and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken
> care of.
>
-snip-
> So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at
> this stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that
> describes me.
-snip-
"Drifting", perhaps?
Some thoughts, although you'll have heard all this before.......
Getting focussed can be very difficult. Don't feel bad about the
"bombing out in uni" -- it doesn't suit everybody; you may not have
found the right field to study; and it's not a "one shot" thing -- you
can always go back to it, if and when appropriate, once you find what
you want to do.
I agree with Mason Barge that it might be a good idea to commit to
doing something that you can't back out of very easily, or where people
are relying on you to be there. There are a number of such things -
- from training/military stuff to volunteer work in your own city or a
third-world country.
I know that this "help others to help yourself" route is old advice,
but it often works. It particularly helps to do something that forces
you to get out and widen your circle -- where other people are relying
on you to do things rather than you relying on others....
All the best,
Harvey
Don Phillipson
news:p0rnbus16cfn3uvgc...@4ax.com...
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
Idler stands out amid the traditional terms
(chosen by Saml. Johnson as the name of
a periodical nearly 250 years ago.)
This case epitomizes those in which a
thesaurus is usueful. This book groups
words by meaning instead of alphabetically:
you look up the nearest approximation of
what you are trying to remember, then may
see it in a list of 10 or 20 not quite synonyms.
--
Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs (Ottawa, Canada)
dphil...@trytel.com
Alan Jones
Is it just possible that you're suffering from clinical depression and
should see a doctor?
Alan Jones
Garry J. Vass
> stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
>
One word, possibly applicable, yet seldom used, is "flaneur".
It carries all of the connotations you have described, but has the
additional imputation that your slack-arseness is punctuated by episodes of
gadding about town.
Dr Robin Bignall
Taking a year off to do something completely different (such as
voluntary work overseas) between school and university is becoming
quite popular in the UK. They call it the gap year.
Maybe an academic sort of thing is not right for Jim. Britain is
screaming out for plumbers, central heating installers, electricians,
fitters.... skilled work people of all kinds. A good plumber can
easily earn as much as a teacher here. I presume that this is pretty
much the case in other countries.
Alan is right in suggesting a trip to the doctor to check on clinical
depression, just in case. It's sometimes the sort of condition that
you don't realise you've got, and it needs to be checked for by a
professional. Clinical depression is different from just being
depressed.
--
wrmst rgrds
RB...(docrobi...@ntlworld.com)
N.Mitchum
-----
> I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
In hoping to find a complimentary description of yourself, you've
eliminated the obvious choices of words: slacker, shirker,
goldbrick, goof-off, parasite, happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care,
malingerer. I can't think of any term that lets you off easy.
----NM
Tony Cooper
>
> A good plumber can
> easily earn as much as a teacher here. I presume that this is pretty
> much the case in other countries.
A good teacher would love to make as much money as a plumber
here.
--
Tony Cooper aka: tony_co...@yahoo.com
Provider of Jots and Tittles
Jan Sand
wrote:
I can't think of any term that lets you off easy.
Should that be "easily" or is the phrase a coloqualism?
Jan Sand
meirman
<y...@understand.com> posted:
>I'm not feeling too good with myself right now - sort of ashamed. I
>bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would study
>myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of "home-study",
>it has been a complete failure. I've found I've wasted a lot of time
>and not made much progress. I feel guilty because I've got it pretty
>good compared to my peers (other people my age). I know they're
>working their arses off under deadlines and have additional
>stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents in good house & suburb,
>and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken care of.
You don't have it good, no matter what you think. Without the
incentive and foresight to commit yourself to working hard, you're not
going to learn much and you'll spend your life having just enough
money to get by, if that. The time you spend relaxing now will be
made up for by time you have to work when you're in your 60's and
70's.
>For the record, I don't have a bludging attitude; I'm really trying to
>get myself together and get on track and work hard. I've got some
>problems in my life, but that's no excuse... anyway...
It's not a matter of excuses. It's a matter of recognizing that it's
in your interest to behave differently At least for me, I'm not a
puritan who iiuc things sloth is a deadly sin, or who believes the
Protestant ethic is a semi-religious obligation (I never read XXXX
and the Protestant ethic_ but that's the impression I got.) You do
have an obligation, in my mind, to make sure your parents don't go
without food and shelter and probably medical care, and that you see
to those things plus education for your children. But what I
think you really need do is look into the future and realize you don't
want a crummy job** for the rest of your life, and you have to either
learn a trade or get some credentials. Effort spent now will repay 20
fold. (Uni wasn't for you! Few people like the studying that goes
with school, when there are so many things to do. I doubt you were
much different from them, but they worked through it anyhow.)
**Crummy not just for the pay but for the way you get treated. Write
if you want more details.
>So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
>stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
>i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
>it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
>a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
>"slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
>
>cheers
s/ meirman If you are emailing me please
say if you are posting the same response.
Born west of Pittsburgh Pa. 10 years
Indianapolis, 7 years
Chicago, 6 years
Brooklyn NY 12 years
Baltimore 17 years
John O'Flaherty
'Easy' is used as an adverb with several shades of meaning. The one used
is like this one from AHD3:
4. Without much hardship or cost: got off easy with only a small fine.
--
john
Schainbaum, Robert
adrift
R H Draney
wrote:
Neither...an analogy would be "I want you to build this bike
quick!"...
As written, it means "I want you to build this bike in such a manner
as to make it the fastest bike on the road"....
Change it to "quickly", and you're saying "I want you to build this
bike in the shortest amount of time possible"....
To "let someone off easy" means to give them little or no
punishment...to "let someone off easily" means to put little or no
effort into administering the punishment....r
--
Frylock: "I wonder what killed Carl's car."
Master Shake: "A car cannot be 'killed'. It was *murdered*!"
Baba Yaga
>
>I'm not feeling too good with myself right now - sort of ashamed. I
>bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would study
>myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of "home-study",
>it has been a complete failure. I've found I've wasted a lot of time
>and not made much progress.
So is study what you should be doing? Dig ditches, help at a yoof
centre, wash windows, learn bricklaying.... the world's your lobster.
While you're at it, put some money by, read books because they
*interest* you, and you'll be free to go back to studying when the day
comes that you're ready for it.
>I feel guilty because I've got it pretty
>good compared to my peers (other people my age).
That's a daft reason to feel guilty, imo, although it might be
reasonable to feel guilty because you're not making full use of your
advantages. Better than feeling guilty is to find a way of doing it.
>I know they're
>working their arses off under deadlines and have additional
>stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents in good house & suburb,
>and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken care of.
>
>For the record, I don't have a bludging attitude; I'm really trying to
>get myself together and get on track and work hard. I've got some
>problems in my life, but that's no excuse... anyway...
Sometimes it is. For a time.
>So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
>stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
>i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
>it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
>a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
>"slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
Since you seem to want a pejorative, try "parasite". Or you could go
a bit deeper and try to work out what the trouble really is. You
sound lost. So what's important to you, and why?
Baba Yaga
--
It is morally as bad not to care whether a thing is true or not, so
long as it makes you feel good, as it is not to care how you got your
money, so long as you have got it.
Charles Riggs
Unconfident.
An undeserved feeling of guilt, if phrases are allowed.
--
Charles Riggs
Charles Riggs
<a...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>Is it just possible that you're suffering from clinical depression and
>should see a doctor?
No, Alan, it is unlikely he is suffering from *clinical* depression,
although he obviously is suffering from depression. Clinical
depression is not brought on by causes we now of (and he enumerated a
number of sour events); it just happens out of the blue, to those
prone to the illness. It happens, at times, to all bipolar people and
it happens to others who suffer only the clinical depression side of
the illness.
--
Charles Riggs
Charles Riggs
wrote:
>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 13:35:52 -0700, "N.Mitchum" <aj...@lafn.org>
It should be "easily" but it is a commonly used expression, especially
by cowboys, as in "I'll let you off easy this time, pardner". I've
used it myself at times (without the pardner, of course).
--
Charles Riggs
Mason Barge
I think what Alan is implying is that the lad's lack of success in
college, and subsequent moping around, could be the result of clinical
depression, and I would agree. He might very well be anxious to
graduate from college and have hidden his ambition out of frustration,
because a depressive episode made study impossible.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he might be suffering
from symptoms that would meet the requirements of medical diagnosis
under DSM-IV, or that medical treatment could improve his problem.
Don Aitken
<chr...@gofree.indigo.ie> wrote:
That, I think, is the definition of "endogenous" depression. The other
category of clinical depression is "situational". Depression of this
kind can be equally serious and equally "clinical", although I think
it is less common. It is not the same as just "feeling depressed".
--
Don Aitken
John Varela
> I've got some problems in my life,
They wouldn't have anything to do with chemicals, would they?
If yes, then going to an AA meeting would be a good place to start a new
life.
--
John Varela
Jerry Friedman
> On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 19:19:21 +1000, Jim <y...@understand.com> wrote:
>
> >I'm not feeling too good with myself right now - sort of ashamed. I
> >bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would study
> >myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of "home-study",
> >it has been a complete failure. I've found I've wasted a lot of time
> >and not made much progress. I feel guilty because I've got it pretty
> >good compared to my peers (other people my age). I know they're
> >working their arses off under deadlines and have additional
> >stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents in good house & suburb,
> >and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken care of.
> >
> >For the record, I don't have a bludging attitude; I'm really trying to
> >get myself together and get on track and work hard. I've got some
> >problems in my life, but that's no excuse... anyway...
> >
> >So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
> >stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> >i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> >it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> >a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> >"slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
>
> Unfocused. I would actually be a bit more worried about living at
> home than not having found my slot in life at your young age.
I wouldn't be worried about living with your parents so much as not
contributing to the household. If you're not helping with the bills,
shouldn't you at least be helping with the washing, cooking, etc.?
Whatever is within your skills, though any skills you learn might make
you more attractive as a husband or whatever.
Does "bludging" mean "lazy"?
--
Jerry Friedman
Charles Riggs
Barge) wrote:
>On Wed, 17 Apr 2002 10:38:31 +0100, Charles Riggs
><chr...@gofree.indigo.ie> wrote:
>
>>On Tue, 16 Apr 2002 18:35:38 +0100, "Alan Jones"
>><a...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Is it just possible that you're suffering from clinical depression and
>>>should see a doctor?
>>
>>No, Alan, it is unlikely he is suffering from *clinical* depression,
>>although he obviously is suffering from depression. Clinical
>>depression is not brought on by causes we now of (and he enumerated a
>>number of sour events); it just happens out of the blue, to those
>>prone to the illness. It happens, at times, to all bipolar people and
>>it happens to others who suffer only the clinical depression side of
>>the illness.
>
>I think what Alan is implying is that the lad's lack of success in
>college, and subsequent moping around, could be the result of clinical
>depression, and I would agree. He might very well be anxious to
>graduate from college and have hidden his ambition out of frustration,
>because a depressive episode made study impossible.
That is entirely possible. I don't think it the case after reading the
one post though. Call it women's intuition, if you like.
--
Charles Riggs
Charles Riggs
<ba...@elephantschild.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>Since you seem to want a pejorative, try "parasite".
One more bites the dust.
Bye.
--
Charles Riggs
Mickwick
>Maybe an academic sort of thing is not right for Jim. Britain is
>screaming out for plumbers, central heating installers, electricians,
>fitters.... skilled work people of all kinds. A good plumber can
>easily earn as much as a teacher here. I presume that this is pretty
>much the case in other countries.
Contract bricklayers and plasterers can earn up to £70k a year in
southeast England, reporteth the radio.
--
Mickwick
Jitze's 3rd Law - The sum of one's vices is a constant
Baba Yaga
>On Wed, 17 Apr 2002 09:49:27 +0100, Baba Yaga
><ba...@elephantschild.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>
>>Since you seem to want a pejorative, try "parasite".
Would you mind leaving a little more context, next time?
Earle Jones
Jim <y...@understand.com> wrote:
> I'm not feeling too good with myself right now - sort of ashamed. I
> bombed out in uni (uni wasn't for me), so I decided I would study
> myself at home (computer stuff). Over one year later of "home-study",
> it has been a complete failure. I've found I've wasted a lot of time
> and not made much progress. I feel guilty because I've got it pretty
> good compared to my peers (other people my age). I know they're
> working their arses off under deadlines and have additional
> stress/worries. Whereas I live with my parents in good house & suburb,
> and have my washing, cooking, etc. taken care of.
>
> For the record, I don't have a bludging attitude; I'm really trying to
> get myself together and get on track and work hard. I've got some
> problems in my life, but that's no excuse... anyway...
>
> So I was writing in my journal trying to express how I feel at this
> stage in my life but I couldn't think of a word that describes me.
> i.e. someone not doing his part (for society); not working and having
> it as hard as everyone else (like my peers at uni would be); not being
> a team player, sort of thing. Is there a word? no i'm not looking for
> "slack arse" or "lazy" or "laid back" etc.
>
> cheers
*
Lucky son-of-a-bitch is the first phrase that comes to me.
cheers,
earle
*