View
GG
master people."
How about "view" here?
Thanks.
Harrison Hill
His countenance, what he looked like. Or more likely "she" because
"petite" and "slim" (petite includes slim anyway) suggest a woman.
GG
Thanks. Would "look" or "sight" be any better?
Harrison Hill
"Sight" would be better than "view" and "appearance" best of all.
"Look" has too much "fashion" in it, and would signify "style and
appearance".
Don Phillipson
news:j0gtr8$ni5$1...@speranza.aioe.org...
>> On Jul 24, 11:31 am, GG <no_s...@nowhere.com> wrote:
>>> "Slim, petite, hard-faced, the view offered was of someone used to
>>> master people."
>>>
>>> How about "view" here?
>
>> His countenance, what he looked like. Or more likely "she" because
>> "petite" and "slim" (petite includes slim anyway) suggest a woman.
>
> Thanks. Would "look" or "sight" be any better?
Probably not. This sentence seems too muddled. It attempts to depict:
1. The individual's face. (Apparently a woman, cf. petite.)
2. The social impression this face causes in other minds. It is not clear
whether this impression is (a) in the mind of a single narrator, (b) in the
minds of everyone who sees this individual.)
The author seems ignorant of the maxim:
"When in doubt, cut it out." This suggests that the fastest
method of editing doubtful sentences is to remove them wholly,
and then replace what is essential for either narrative, sense
or intended mood.
To mend this particular sentence, English offers the usefully-
ambiguous noun "aspect."
--
Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs
(Ottawa, Canada)
Horace LaBadie
wrote:
Neither. The "image" she allows others to see. She projects a certain
image of herself, which for them is the view they get of her.
Ray O'Hara
Image would be best.
Jerry Friedman
I'd prefer "appearance", as Harrison says, or as Ray says, "image".
The sentence needs a "she". She, not the view, is petite and hard-
faced. Then "master" should be "mastering", in my English.
--
Jerry Friedman
Jerry Friedman
...
> >> On Jul 24, 11:31 am, GG <no_s...@nowhere.com> wrote:
> >>> "Slim, petite, hard-faced, the view offered was of someone used to
> >>> master people."
...
> The author seems ignorant of the maxim:
> "When in doubt, cut it out." This suggests that the fastest
> method of editing doubtful sentences is to remove them wholly,
> and then replace what is essential for either narrative, sense
> or intended mood.
...
Just as likely the author is ignorant of the fact that the sentence is
doubtful and needs editing.
--
Jerry Friedman
James Hogg
In mine too.
--
James
Bob Lieblich
[ ... ]
It took me a while to get past the notion of a slim, petite, hard-
faced view. The Washington Monument perhaps, or some other obelisk?
It seems others join me in wanting something like "Slim, petite, and
hard-faced [I see no reason to omit "and"], she was someone accustomed
to mastering people." A whip may be used to master people, but the
infinitive strikes me as unidiomatic the way the OP used it.
Even then, with the possible exception of "hard-faced." I don't see
anything in the first half of the sentence that links causally to the
second. "Slim" and "petite" suggest someone small, and small people
rarely "master" others. How about: "Despite being slim and petite,
she was accustomed to mastering people"? (You can assume that she
uses a hard face when itrs necessary to masteri ng people.) But no,
even that's redundant -- except in dress shops, you can't be petite
without being slim. (Sizes in dress shops can't be taken literally.
What do all other human females wear if "women" are by definition size
14 and up?)
So now we're at "Though petite, she was accustomed to mastering
people." Still too bulky. "Though petite, she was able to master
people." But "master" sounds a bit like someone bossing a dog
around. "Though petite, she could command people."
I don't know the context, but I'll bet you could drop my six words in
where the OP's sentence appears with no loss of clarity or emphasis.
--
Bob Lieblich
Or am I just showing off?