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Peter Moylan
Nov 22, 2011, 5:45:26 PM11/22/11
to
These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who he is.
------
1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
the bartender asks it to leave.
3. A question mark walks into a bar?
4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
--
Peter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org
For an e-mail address, see my web page.
------
1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
the bartender asks it to leave.
3. A question mark walks into a bar?
4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
--
Peter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org
For an e-mail address, see my web page.
James Hogg
Nov 22, 2011, 5:54:26 PM11/22/11
to
Peter Moylan wrote:
> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who he is.
>
> ------
> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
> the bartender asks it to leave.
>
> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>
> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
>
> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who he is.
>
> ------
> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
> the bartender asks it to leave.
>
> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>
> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
>
> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
--
James
franzi
Nov 22, 2011, 6:20:53 PM11/22/11
to
James Hogg <Jas....@gOUTmail.com> wrote
Then it must have been in its cups.
--
franzi
--
franzi
Alan Curry
Nov 22, 2011, 6:35:35 PM11/22/11
to
MC
Nov 22, 2011, 6:47:19 PM11/22/11
to
In article <jahbk6$27p$1...@speranza.aioe.org>,
10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
--
"If you can, tell me something happy."
- Marybones
--
"If you can, tell me something happy."
- Marybones
Iain Archer
Nov 22, 2011, 6:51:46 PM11/22/11
to
MC wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2011
11. An en dashes into a barn.
--
Iain Archer To email, please use Reply-To address
--
Iain Archer To email, please use Reply-To address
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 22, 2011, 7:47:55 PM11/22/11
to
Iain Archer wrote:
>
> MC wrote:
>> Alan Curry wrote:
--
~~~ Reinhold {Rey} Aman ~~~
Eifersucht ist eine Leidenschaft,
die mit Eifer sucht, was Leiden schafft.
>
> MC wrote:
>> Alan Curry wrote:
>>> James Hogg wrote:
>>>> Peter Moylan wrote:
>>>>> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who
>>>>> he is.
>>>>>
>>>>> ------
>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then
>>>>> leaves.
>>>>>
>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a
>>>>> drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>>>>>
>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>>>>>
>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>>>>>
>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to
>>>>> drink.
>>>>>
>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>>>>>
>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They
>>>>> drink. They leave.
>>>>
>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>>>
>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>>
>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>>
> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>
12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>>>> Peter Moylan wrote:
>>>>> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who
>>>>> he is.
>>>>>
>>>>> ------
>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then
>>>>> leaves.
>>>>>
>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a
>>>>> drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>>>>>
>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>>>>>
>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>>>>>
>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to
>>>>> drink.
>>>>>
>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>>>>>
>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They
>>>>> drink. They leave.
>>>>
>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>>>
>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>>
>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>>
> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>
--
~~~ Reinhold {Rey} Aman ~~~
Eifersucht ist eine Leidenschaft,
die mit Eifer sucht, was Leiden schafft.
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 22, 2011, 8:01:41 PM11/22/11
to
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 22, 2011, 8:32:00 PM11/22/11
to
>
15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
Peter Brooks
Nov 22, 2011, 11:03:23 PM11/22/11
to
On Nov 23, 1:51 am, Iain Archer <m...@privacy.net> wrote:
> MC wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2011
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >In article <jahbk6$27...@speranza.aioe.org>,
> MC wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2011
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > pac...@kosh.dhis.org (Alan Curry) wrote:
>
> >> In article <jah978$rs...@dont-email.me>,
> >> James Hogg <Jas.H...@gOUTmail.com> wrote:
> >> >Peter Moylan wrote:
> >> >> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who he is.
>
> >> >> ------
> >> >> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> >> >> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
> >> >> the bartender asks it to leave.
>
> >> >> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> >> >> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>
> >> >> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
>
> >> >> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> >> >> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They
> >> >> leave.
>
> >> >8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>
> >> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>
> >10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>
> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>
That's nice, but it looks as if it's dashing out, rather than into it.
> >> >Peter Moylan wrote:
> >> >> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who he is.
>
> >> >> ------
> >> >> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> >> >> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
> >> >> the bartender asks it to leave.
>
> >> >> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> >> >> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>
> >> >> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
>
> >> >> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>
> >> >> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They
> >> >> leave.
>
> >> >8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>
> >> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>
> >10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>
> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>
An en would dash into a nbar, but we'd not know where it was.
R H Draney
Nov 23, 2011, 12:49:33 AM11/23/11
to
Reinhold {Rey} Aman filted:
16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 1:41:19 AM11/23/11
to
In article <jai1h...@drn.newsguy.com>,
17. An alliteration ambles into an alehouse.
18. A paraprosdokian walks into a bar. Of soap.
19. A prozeugma walks into a bar, a fight, a fist, a wall and a
hospital.
20. A snowclone walks into the mother of all bars.
18. A paraprosdokian walks into a bar. Of soap.
19. A prozeugma walks into a bar, a fight, a fist, a wall and a
hospital.
20. A snowclone walks into the mother of all bars.
Mark Brader
Nov 23, 2011, 1:46:07 AM11/23/11
to
>>>>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and
>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
>>>>>>>>> to drink.
>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bär.
>> 15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
>>>>>>>>> to drink.
>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bär.
>> 15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
--
Mark Brader "One should never listen to oneself.
Toronto I mean, who are one to judge?"
m...@vex.net -- Barry Etheridge
My text in this article is in the public domain.
Isabelle Cecchini
Nov 23, 2011, 2:18:56 AM11/23/11
to
--
Isabelle Cecchini
James Hogg
Nov 23, 2011, 2:26:21 AM11/23/11
to
--
James
James Hogg
Nov 23, 2011, 4:04:07 AM11/23/11
to
"A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
--
James
Sproz
Nov 23, 2011, 4:20:41 AM11/23/11
to
Mark
Mike Page
Nov 23, 2011, 5:10:22 AM11/23/11
to
Anton Shepelev
Nov 23, 2011, 5:35:00 AM11/23/11
to
> On Nov 23, 9:04 am, James Hogg <Jas.H...@gOUTmail.com> wrote:
> > James Hogg wrote:
> > > Isabelle Cecchini wrote:
> > >> Le 23/11/2011 07:46, Mark Brader a ecrit :
> > James Hogg wrote:
> > > Isabelle Cecchini wrote:
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> to drink.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
> > >>>>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
> > >>>>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
> > >>>>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
> > >>>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
> > >>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
> > >>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
> > >>>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> to drink.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
> > >>>>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
> > >>>>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
> > >>>>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
> > >>>>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
> > >>>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
> > >>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
> > >>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
> > >>>>> 15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
> > >>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
> > >>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
> > >>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
> > >>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
> > >>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
> > >> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
> > > 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
> > (And the surly innkeeper said:
> > "A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
> > And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
> > >>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
> > >>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
> > >>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
> > >>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
> > >>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
> > >> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
> > > 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
> > (And the surly innkeeper said:
> > "A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
> > And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
> 23: omg a TnAjrrr wks n2 a bar
24. The double negative didn't walk into no bar.
Anton
CT
Nov 23, 2011, 6:00:06 AM11/23/11
to
--
Chris
Iain Archer
Nov 23, 2011, 6:20:34 AM11/23/11
to
CT wrote on Wed, 23 Nov 2011
26. The missing vinculum was last seen walking into a bar.
Anton Shepelev
Nov 23, 2011, 9:42:26 AM11/23/11
to
Jerry Friedman
Nov 23, 2011, 10:10:51 AM11/23/11
to
--
Jerry Friedman
Jerry Friedman
Nov 23, 2011, 10:35:50 AM11/23/11
to
An aposiopesis walks into a...
I'm not even going to tell you how a paraleipsis walks into a bar.
A surrealist walks into a bar papered with snowflakes and lightly
browned in snake oil.
A man de habla Spanglish camina into a cantina.
Un chevreau dans un Francais classe marche dans a une barre.
Miss Thistlebottom walks into a bar and asks whomever works there
quickly to serve her a mug of beer.
An eggcorn walks enter a bar.
A non-rhotic man walks into a bah.
Davy Crockett walks into a b'ar.
--
Jerry Friedman
CT
Nov 23, 2011, 10:41:58 AM11/23/11
to
gives him one.
--
Chris
James Hogg
Nov 23, 2011, 10:45:08 AM11/23/11
to
the man, Dude.
--
James
semir...@my-deja.com
Nov 23, 2011, 11:06:13 AM11/23/11
to
On Nov 23, 3:45 pm, James Hogg wrote:
> Jerry Friedman wrote:
> Jerry Friedman wrote:
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 11:18:12 AM11/23/11
to
In article
<3eaf2be6-cfd5-4ea2...@g7g2000vbd.googlegroups.com>,
A dangling participle walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long
face?"
<3eaf2be6-cfd5-4ea2...@g7g2000vbd.googlegroups.com>,
face?"
James Hogg
Nov 23, 2011, 11:28:46 AM11/23/11
to
dangling participle.
--
James
musika
Nov 23, 2011, 11:54:16 AM11/23/11
to
--
Ray
UK
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 11:54:37 AM11/23/11
to
musika
Nov 23, 2011, 11:56:25 AM11/23/11
to
--
Ray
UK
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 11:57:24 AM11/23/11
to
Robin Bignall
Nov 23, 2011, 12:07:22 PM11/23/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:28:46 +0100, James Hogg <Jas....@gOUTmail.com>
wrote:
Standing at the door of a bar, a full stop does nothing, even after a
period.
--
Robin Bignall
(BrE)
Herts, England
wrote:
period.
--
Robin Bignall
(BrE)
Herts, England
David Hatunen
Nov 23, 2011, 12:50:04 PM11/23/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:45:26 +1100, Peter Moylan wrote:
A termite walks into a bar and loudly asks, "Where's the bartender?"
--
Dave Hatunen, Tucson, Baja Arizona
A termite walks into a bar and loudly asks, "Where's the bartender?"
--
Dave Hatunen, Tucson, Baja Arizona
grabber
Nov 23, 2011, 1:16:50 PM11/23/11
to
"Peter Moylan" wrote in message
news:wsSdnc0MvPCUu1HT...@westnet.com.au...
> These have been attributed to Eric K. Auld. I don't know who he is.
>
> ------
> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>
> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
> the bartender asks it to leave.
>
> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>
> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
That's not a gerund.
>
> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
> the bartender asks it to leave.
>
> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>
> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>
> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
Anton Shepelev
Nov 23, 2011, 1:34:53 PM11/23/11
to
> >> A dangling participle walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long
> >> face?"
> >
> > A non sequitur sees a group going into a bar but doesn't go in.
>
> A superlative goes into a bar none.
A paradox walked into a bar but didn't drink.
> >> face?"
> >
> > A non sequitur sees a group going into a bar but doesn't go in.
>
> A superlative goes into a bar none.
A antonym walked out of the bar and headed for the
theatre.
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 1:43:14 PM11/23/11
to
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 1:44:13 PM11/23/11
to
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 1:47:10 PM11/23/11
to
Jerry Friedman
Nov 23, 2011, 2:56:15 PM11/23/11
to
"A metaphor, friends, is a star.
It always sounds neater
In anapest meter,
And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar."
--
Jerry Friedman
Joe Fineman
Nov 23, 2011, 3:09:04 PM11/23/11
to
After starring in the band for a while, he droops himself into a
stinker.
--
--- Joe Fineman jo...@verizon.net
||: Deliver me from every pride -- the Middle, High, and Low -- :||
||: That bars me from a brother's side, whatever pride he show. :||
stinker.
--
--- Joe Fineman jo...@verizon.net
||: Deliver me from every pride -- the Middle, High, and Low -- :||
||: That bars me from a brother's side, whatever pride he show. :||
Christian Weisgerber
Nov 23, 2011, 2:24:09 PM11/23/11
to
David Kaye
Nov 23, 2011, 3:35:33 PM11/23/11
to
"MC" <cope...@mapca.inter.net> wrote
>
> A left-handed bastard walks into a bar sinister.
An assibilation walkssss into a bar.
>
> A left-handed bastard walks into a bar sinister.
Peter Moylan
Nov 23, 2011, 3:46:46 PM11/23/11
to
Christian Weisgerber wrote:
> <semir...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>
> ?
>
The person who submitted this originally wrote bär, but somewhere along
> <semir...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>
> ?
>
the way someone's software "corrected" it.
--
Peter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org
For an e-mail address, see my web page.
David Kaye
Nov 23, 2011, 3:49:39 PM11/23/11
to
"David Kaye" <sfdavi...@yahoo.com> wrote
>>
>> A left-handed bastard walks into a bar sinister.
>
> An assibilation walkssss into a bar.
A symantic walks into a bar, wondering what it means.
>>
>> A left-handed bastard walks into a bar sinister.
>
> An assibilation walkssss into a bar.
James Hogg
Nov 23, 2011, 4:23:07 PM11/23/11
to
MC wrote:
> An ellipsis...bar.
A scholar of Proto-Germanic roots *welk- into a bar.
--
James
> An ellipsis...bar.
A scholar of Proto-Germanic roots *welk- into a bar.
--
James
James Hogg
Nov 23, 2011, 4:24:38 PM11/23/11
to
Jerry Friedman wrote:
> A poet walks into a bar.
> "A metaphor, friends, is a star.
> It always sounds neater
> In anapest meter,
> And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar."
On a much less poetic note:
> A poet walks into a bar.
> "A metaphor, friends, is a star.
> It always sounds neater
> In anapest meter,
> And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar."
0.98697 standard atmosphere walks into a bar.
--
James
Mike Lyle
Nov 23, 2011, 5:24:00 PM11/23/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 07:10:51 -0800 (PST), Jerry Friedman
<jerry_f...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>On Nov 23, 3:10 am, Mike Page <mikeor...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
>> On 23/11/2011 09:04, James Hogg wrote:
>>
>> > James Hogg wrote:
>> >> Isabelle Cecchini wrote:
>
><applause for both>
? would heron stone walk into a bar
--
Mike.
<jerry_f...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>On Nov 23, 3:10 am, Mike Page <mikeor...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
>> On 23/11/2011 09:04, James Hogg wrote:
>>
>> > James Hogg wrote:
>> >> Isabelle Cecchini wrote:
>> >>> Le 23/11/2011 07:46, Mark Brader a écrit :
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> to drink.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>> >>>>>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> to drink.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>> >>>>>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>> >>>>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>> >>>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>> >>>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>> >>>>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bär.
>> >>>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>> >>>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>> >>>>>> 15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
>> >>>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
>> >>>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>
>> >>>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
>>
>> >>>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
>>
>> >>>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
>> >>> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
>>
>> >> 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
>>
>> > (And the surly innkeeper said:
>> > "A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
>> > And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
>>
>> You're Bard.
>> >>>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
>> >>>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>
>> >>>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
>>
>> >>>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
>>
>> >>>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
>> >>> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
>>
>> >> 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
>>
>> > (And the surly innkeeper said:
>> > "A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
>> > And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
>>
>
><applause for both>
? would heron stone walk into a bar
--
Mike.
Peter Duncanson (BrE)
Nov 23, 2011, 5:39:33 PM11/23/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:24:00 +0000, Mike Lyle <mike_l...@yahoo.co.uk>
wrote:
An official government barometer walks into a bar, makes a measurement
and asks to see the manager. Manager arrives. Government barometer says
"Your bar is set too high".
--
Peter Duncanson, UK
(in alt.usage.english)
wrote:
and asks to see the manager. Manager arrives. Government barometer says
"Your bar is set too high".
--
Peter Duncanson, UK
(in alt.usage.english)
musika
Nov 23, 2011, 5:42:09 PM11/23/11
to
--
Ray
UK
MC
Nov 23, 2011, 6:13:12 PM11/23/11
to
In article <0dtqc79rduhnl93lk...@4ax.com>,
Celine Dion walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
[Don't know why, but this one never fails to make me laugh.]
Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
[Don't know why, but this one never fails to make me laugh.]
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 23, 2011, 6:40:37 PM11/23/11
to
Peter Moylan wrote:
>
> Christian Weisgerber wrote:
>
>> <semir...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>>
>> ?
>>
> The person who submitted this originally wrote b�r, but somewhere
>
> Christian Weisgerber wrote:
>
>> <semir...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>>
>> ?
>>
> along the way someone's software "corrected" it.
>
Right. I wrote "An umlaut walks into a b�r," but some googlegrouper
>
swallowed the < � >.
--
~~~ Reinhold {Rey} Aman ~~~
Eifersucht ist eine Leidenschaft,
die mit Eifer sucht, was Leiden schafft.
Jerry Friedman
Nov 23, 2011, 6:53:30 PM11/23/11
to
It's a cleft sentence that walks into a bar.
--
Jerry Friedman
R H Draney
Nov 23, 2011, 8:20:15 PM11/23/11
to
MC filted:
Mrs Malaprop tergiversates into a bar.
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
semir...@my-deja.com
Nov 23, 2011, 9:25:01 PM11/23/11
to
consider rescuing the ones that got away)
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 24, 2011, 12:22:59 AM11/24/11
to
Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
[...]
All right, a few more:
A dyslexic walks into a rab.
A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
A ROT13 user walks into a one.
A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
[...]
All right, a few more:
A dyslexic walks into a rab.
A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
A ROT13 user walks into a one.
A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
James Hogg
Nov 24, 2011, 1:36:00 AM11/24/11
to
Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
> [...]
> All right, a few more:
>
> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
Roget walks into a canteen, restaurant, rôtisserie, cafeteria,
> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
> [...]
> All right, a few more:
>
> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
grill-room, buffet, café, estaminet, posada, bodega, bar, saloon,
speakeasy, shebeen.
--
James
LFS
Nov 24, 2011, 1:42:10 AM11/24/11
to
--
Laura
(emulate St. George for email)
J. J. Lodder
Nov 24, 2011, 3:27:35 AM11/24/11
to
Jan
R H Draney
Nov 24, 2011, 3:47:36 AM11/24/11
to
LFS filted:
Rod Speed claims to walk into a bar. Good luck trying to establish that.
Peter Brooks
Nov 24, 2011, 3:48:59 AM11/24/11
to
Athel Cornish-Bowden
Nov 24, 2011, 4:36:39 AM11/24/11
to
On 2011-11-24 05:22:59 +0000, Reinhold {Rey} Aman said:
> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
> [...]
> All right, a few more:
>
> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
A Greek walks into an mpar.
> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
> [...]
> All right, a few more:
>
> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
--
athel
Athel Cornish-Bowden
Nov 24, 2011, 4:41:48 AM11/24/11
to
An Afghan doesn't walk into a bar.
--
athel
James Hogg
Nov 24, 2011, 4:57:43 AM11/24/11
to
--
James
Leslie Danks
Nov 24, 2011, 5:33:44 AM11/24/11
to
--
Les
(BrE)
Anton Shepelev
Nov 24, 2011, 6:02:54 AM11/24/11
to
semir...@my-deja.com:
> Another attempt to tidy up the list. Perhaps some
> kind soul might consider rescuing the ones that
> got away
I am keeping an off-line version of the thread and
will compile it into a text file when (if) its ac-
itvity abates somewhat.
Anton
> Another attempt to tidy up the list. Perhaps some
> kind soul might consider rescuing the ones that
> got away
will compile it into a text file when (if) its ac-
itvity abates somewhat.
Anton
musika
Nov 24, 2011, 6:33:21 AM11/24/11
to
A Beachboy walks into a ba-ba-bar ba-ba-ba-ran.
A Beachboy ran into a ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba.
--
Ray
UK
Percival P. Cassidy
Nov 24, 2011, 6:34:02 AM11/24/11
to
On 11/24/11 04:36 am, Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
>> All right, a few more:
>>
>> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
>> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
>> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
>> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
>> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
>> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
>
> A Greek walks into an mpar.
A Welshman walks into a bar, isn't it?
>> All right, a few more:
>>
>> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
>> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
>> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
>> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
>> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
>> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
>
> A Greek walks into an mpar.
Perce
semir...@my-deja.com
Nov 24, 2011, 6:38:24 AM11/24/11
to
On Nov 24, 11:02 am, Anton Shepelev wrote:
>semireti...@my-deja.com: wrote
>>Another attempt to tidy up the list. Perhaps some
>>kind soul might consider rescuing the ones that
>>got away
>I am keeping an off-line version of the thread and
>will compile it into a text file when (if) its actitvity
>abates somewhat. Anton
Great!
>semireti...@my-deja.com: wrote
>>Another attempt to tidy up the list. Perhaps some
>>kind soul might consider rescuing the ones that
>>got away
>I am keeping an off-line version of the thread and
>abates somewhat. Anton
Great!
Peter Duncanson (BrE)
Nov 24, 2011, 6:54:26 AM11/24/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:40:37 -0800, Reinhold {Rey} Aman <am...@sonic.net>
wrote:
>Peter Moylan wrote:
>>
>> Christian Weisgerber wrote:
>>
>>> <semir...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>>
>>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>>>
>>> ?
>>>
>> The person who submitted this originally wrote bär, but somewhere
>swallowed the < ¨ >.
Interesting. I understood the version "An umlaut walks into a bar" from
a different perspective. In the UK in printed works in English back in
the 1950s, and perhaps 1960s, a horizontal bar, a macron, was used as
the umlaut symbol. It was some years later that I started noticing the
double-dot symbol replacing the macron.
I don't know the reasons for that earlier convention. Three
possibilities come to mind:
1. A compositor might miss double-dots when reading rapidly handwritten
copy. A macron would be easier to write and easier to read.
2. The physical process of printing newspapers gave relatively low
quality visible results meaning that two small dots would not have been
reproduced reliably.
3. With moveable type the conventional use of a macron to represent an
umlaut would reduced the number of characters to be stored in the
magazine of a linotype machine or in the cases used when hand
typesetting.
wrote:
>Peter Moylan wrote:
>>
>> Christian Weisgerber wrote:
>>
>>> <semir...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>>
>>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>>>
>>> ?
>>>
>> along the way someone's software "corrected" it.
>>
>Right. I wrote "An umlaut walks into a bär," but some googlegrouper
>>
>swallowed the < ¨ >.
Interesting. I understood the version "An umlaut walks into a bar" from
a different perspective. In the UK in printed works in English back in
the 1950s, and perhaps 1960s, a horizontal bar, a macron, was used as
the umlaut symbol. It was some years later that I started noticing the
double-dot symbol replacing the macron.
I don't know the reasons for that earlier convention. Three
possibilities come to mind:
1. A compositor might miss double-dots when reading rapidly handwritten
copy. A macron would be easier to write and easier to read.
2. The physical process of printing newspapers gave relatively low
quality visible results meaning that two small dots would not have been
reproduced reliably.
3. With moveable type the conventional use of a macron to represent an
umlaut would reduced the number of characters to be stored in the
magazine of a linotype machine or in the cases used when hand
typesetting.
Peter Duncanson (BrE)
Nov 24, 2011, 7:00:51 AM11/24/11
to
barred for life after the first verse of their song:
A Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
http://www.lyrics007.com/Beach%20Boys%20Lyrics/Barbara%20Ann%20Lyrics.html
Mike Lyle
Nov 24, 2011, 7:34:33 AM11/24/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 07:10:51 -0800 (PST), Jerry Friedman
<jerry_f...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>On Nov 23, 3:10 am, Mike Page <mikeor...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
>> On 23/11/2011 09:04, James Hogg wrote:
>>
>> > James Hogg wrote:
>> >> Isabelle Cecchini wrote:
>> >>> Le 23/11/2011 07:46, Mark Brader a écrit :
<jerry_f...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>On Nov 23, 3:10 am, Mike Page <mikeor...@ntlworld.com> wrote:
>> On 23/11/2011 09:04, James Hogg wrote:
>>
>> > James Hogg wrote:
>> >> Isabelle Cecchini wrote:
>> >>> Le 23/11/2011 07:46, Mark Brader a écrit :
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> to drink.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>> >>>>>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>> >>>>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>> >>>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>> >>>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>> >>>>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bär.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> then leaves.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> to drink.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>>> They drink. They leave.
>> >>>>>>>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>> >>>>>>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>> >>>>>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>> >>>>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>> >>>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>> >>>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>> >>>>>> 15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
>> >>>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
>> >>>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>
>> >>>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
>>
>> >>>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
>>
>> >>>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
>> >>> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
>>
>> >> 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
>>
>> > (And the surly innkeeper said:
>> > "A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
>> > And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
>>
>> >>>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
>> >>>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>
>> >>>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
>>
>> >>>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
>>
>> >>>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
>> >>> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
>>
>> >> 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
>>
>> > (And the surly innkeeper said:
>> > "A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,
>> > And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
>>
>> You're Bard.
>
><applause for both>
If a protasis walked into a bar, an apodosis would follow it.
>
><applause for both>
--
Mike.
John Dunlop
Nov 24, 2011, 9:27:07 AM11/24/11
to
Jerry Friedman:
> It's a cleft sentence that walks into a bar.
A bar is what the pseudo-cleft walked into.
One does not simply walk into a bar.
A musician segues into a bar.
--
John
> It's a cleft sentence that walks into a bar.
One does not simply walk into a bar.
A musician segues into a bar.
--
John
MC
Nov 24, 2011, 9:57:35 AM11/24/11
to
Anton Shepelev
Nov 24, 2011, 10:12:38 AM11/24/11
to
A transitive verb walks the bar.
An exclamation mark walks into the bar but gets so
drunk it melts into a question mark.
(idea not mine)
An old-fashioned programmer GOes TO the bar.
An assembly programmer uncoditionally JMPs into the
bar.
CT
Nov 24, 2011, 10:17:55 AM11/24/11
to
--
Chris
MC
Nov 24, 2011, 11:18:57 AM11/24/11
to
Athel Cornish-Bowden
Nov 24, 2011, 11:27:56 AM11/24/11
to
begin while thirstyProgrammer do begin enterBar; drinkBeer end end.
I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots of lines like
int main{}
{
}
and by the end of trying to figure out what it meant any programmer
would need to walk into a bar.
>
> An assembly programmer uncoditionally JMPs into the
> bar.
athel
John Dunlop
Nov 24, 2011, 11:29:42 AM11/24/11
to
David Kaye:
> A symantic walks into a bar, wondering what it means.
A periphrasis will walk into a bar.
They walk into a bar, the right dislocation and the cataphora.
The left dislocation and the anaphora, they walk into a bar too.
--
John
> A symantic walks into a bar, wondering what it means.
A periphrasis will walk into a bar.
They walk into a bar, the right dislocation and the cataphora.
The left dislocation and the anaphora, they walk into a bar too.
--
John
John Dunlop
Nov 24, 2011, 11:30:05 AM11/24/11
to
CT:
> [MC:]
>
>> [Percival P. Cassidy:]
--
John
> [MC:]
>
>> [Percival P. Cassidy:]
>>
>>> A Welshman walks into a bar, isn't it?
>>
>> A Canadian walks into a bar, eh?
>
> A 13 year-old Jewish boy walks into a bar mitzvah.
A Scotsman walks into a bar, so he does.
>>> A Welshman walks into a bar, isn't it?
>>
>> A Canadian walks into a bar, eh?
>
> A 13 year-old Jewish boy walks into a bar mitzvah.
--
John
Athel Cornish-Bowden
Nov 24, 2011, 11:35:46 AM11/24/11
to
On 2011-11-23 20:56:15 +0100, Jerry Friedman <jerry_f...@yahoo.com> said:
[ ... ]
>
> A poet walks into a bar.
> "A metaphor, friends, is a star.
> It always sounds neater
> In anapest meter,
"meter", OK, but is that how you spell "anapaest" across the water? It
looks very odd. How do you pronounce it: to rhyme with "pest" or with
"beast"?
> And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar."
--
athel
[ ... ]
>
> A poet walks into a bar.
> "A metaphor, friends, is a star.
> It always sounds neater
> In anapest meter,
"meter", OK, but is that how you spell "anapaest" across the water? It
looks very odd. How do you pronounce it: to rhyme with "pest" or with
"beast"?
> And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar."
--
athel
CT
Nov 24, 2011, 11:37:35 AM11/24/11
to
Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
> I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots of lines like
>
> int main{}
> {
>
> }
Something like:
> I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots of lines like
>
> int main{}
> {
>
> }
int main(int, char**)
{
int man = 0;
bar(man);
return 0;
}
void bar(int)
{
}
--
Chris
CT
Nov 24, 2011, 11:45:21 AM11/24/11
to
class Man
{
public:
Man()
{
}
int Walks()
{
return 0;
}
}
int main(int, char**)
{
Man* man = new Man();
man.Walks();
bar(man.Walks());
delete man;
John Dunlop
Nov 24, 2011, 11:51:33 AM11/24/11
to
John Dunlop:
> A Scotsman walks into a bar, so he does.
A Scotsman walks out of a bar.
--
John
> A Scotsman walks into a bar, so he does.
--
John
James Hogg
Nov 24, 2011, 11:51:21 AM11/24/11
to
Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
> On 2011-11-23 20:56:15 +0100, Jerry Friedman <jerry_f...@yahoo.com>
> said:
>
> [ ... ]
>
>>
>> A poet walks into a bar.
>> "A metaphor, friends, is a star.
>> It always sounds neater
>> In anapest meter,
>
> "meter", OK, but is that how you spell "anapaest" across the water? It
> looks very odd. How do you pronounce it: to rhyme with "pest" or with
> "beast"?
Just think of "anapest control" and you'll have it.
> On 2011-11-23 20:56:15 +0100, Jerry Friedman <jerry_f...@yahoo.com>
> said:
>
> [ ... ]
>
>>
>> A poet walks into a bar.
>> "A metaphor, friends, is a star.
>> It always sounds neater
>> In anapest meter,
>
> "meter", OK, but is that how you spell "anapaest" across the water? It
> looks very odd. How do you pronounce it: to rhyme with "pest" or with
> "beast"?
Daniel Jones gives that as an alternative British pronunciation too, and
it comes first in the OED.
--
James
Sproz
Nov 24, 2011, 12:53:18 PM11/24/11
to
Mark
MC
Nov 24, 2011, 1:05:26 PM11/24/11
to
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 24, 2011, 1:05:39 PM11/24/11
to
Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote (corrected):
>
> A Greek walks into a mpar.
>
Great minds run in small circles!
I had this one also on my list but forgot to post it.
mpummer! ntamn!
--
~~~ Reinhold {Rey} Aman ~~~
>
> A Greek walks into a mpar.
>
Great minds run in small circles!
I had this one also on my list but forgot to post it.
mpummer! ntamn!
--
~~~ Reinhold {Rey} Aman ~~~
Robin Bignall
Nov 24, 2011, 1:39:22 PM11/24/11
to
On Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:23:07 +0100, James Hogg <Jas....@gOUTmail.com>
wrote:
>MC wrote:
>> An ellipsis...bar.
>
>A scholar of Proto-Germanic roots *welk- into a bar.
A minuscule walked into a bar and nobody noticed.
--
Robin Bignall
(BrE)
Herts, England
wrote:
>MC wrote:
>> An ellipsis...bar.
>
>A scholar of Proto-Germanic roots *welk- into a bar.
A minuscule walked into a bar and nobody noticed.
--
Robin Bignall
(BrE)
Herts, England
R H Draney
Nov 24, 2011, 1:58:52 PM11/24/11
to
Sproz filted:
>>
>> > =A0 bar(man);
>>
>> > =A0 return 0;
>>
>> =A0 Man()
>> =A0 {
>> =A0 }
>>
>> =A0 int Walks()
>> =A0 {
>> =A0 =A0 return 0;
>> =A0 }
>>
>> }
>>
>> int main(int, char**)
>> {
>> =A0 Man* man =3D new Man();
>>
>> =A0 man.Walks();
>>
>> =A0 bar(man.Walks());
>>
>> =A0 delete man;
>>
>> =A0 return 0;
>>
>> }
>>
>> void bar(int)
>> {
just sort of happens by itself.
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
>
>On Nov 24, 4:45=A0pm, "CT" <m...@christrollen.co.uk> wrote:
>> CT wrote:
>> > Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
>>
>> > > I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots of lines like
>>
>> > > int main{}
>> > > {
>>
>> > > }
>>
>> > Something like:
>>
>> > int main(int, char**)
>> > {
>> > =A0 int man =3D 0;
>On Nov 24, 4:45=A0pm, "CT" <m...@christrollen.co.uk> wrote:
>> CT wrote:
>> > Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
>>
>> > > I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots of lines like
>>
>> > > int main{}
>> > > {
>>
>> > > }
>>
>> > Something like:
>>
>> > int main(int, char**)
>> > {
>>
>> > =A0 bar(man);
>>
>> > =A0 return 0;
>> > }
>>
>> > void bar(int)
>> > {
>> > }
>>
>> Or C++:
>>
>> class Man
>> {
>> =A0 public:
>>
>> > void bar(int)
>> > {
>> > }
>>
>> Or C++:
>>
>> class Man
>> {
>>
>> =A0 Man()
>> =A0 {
>> =A0 }
>>
>> =A0 int Walks()
>> =A0 {
>> =A0 =A0 return 0;
>> =A0 }
>>
>> }
>>
>> int main(int, char**)
>> {
>> =A0 Man* man =3D new Man();
>>
>> =A0 man.Walks();
>>
>> =A0 bar(man.Walks());
>>
>> =A0 delete man;
>>
>> =A0 return 0;
>>
>> }
>>
>> void bar(int)
>> {
>>
>> }
>
>A programmer walks into foo bar.
An OOP developer defines a Bar class with a WalksInto method and everything else
>> }
>
>A programmer walks into foo bar.
just sort of happens by itself.
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
Isabelle Cecchini
Nov 24, 2011, 2:44:26 PM11/24/11
to
Le 23/11/2011 19:47, MC a écrit :
> In article<20111123223453.d...@gmail.com>,
>>>>>> 24. The double negative didn't walk into no bar.
>>>>>> 25. The reflexive pronoun walked into the bar itself.
>>>>>> 26. The missing vinculum was last seen walking into a bar.
>>>>>> 27. A reclusive verb walked into the bar and barred the door.
>>>>>>>> An anacoluthon walks into a bar, is how this joke starts.
>>>>>>>> An aposiopesis walks into a...
>>>>>>>> I'm not even going to tell you how a paraleipsis walks into a bar.
>>>>>>>> A surrealist walks into a bar papered with snowflakes and lightly
>>>>>>>> browned in snake oil.
>>>>>>>> A man de habla Spanglish camina into a cantina.
>>>>>>>> Un chevreau dans un Francais classe marche dans a une barre.
>>>>>>>> Miss Thistlebottom walks into a bar and asks whomever works there
>>>>>>>> quickly to serve her a mug of beer.
>>>>>>>> An eggcorn walks enter a bar.
>>>>>>>> A non-rhotic man walks into a bah.
>>>>>>>> Davy Crockett walks into a b'ar.
>>>>>>> Sometimes the man walks into the bar, and sometimes the bar walks
>>>>>>> into the man, Dude.
>>>>>
>>>>> A dangling participle walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long
>>>>> face?"
>>>>
>>>> A non sequitur sees a group going into a bar but doesn't go in.
>>>
>>> A superlative goes into a bar none.
>>
>> A paradox walked into a bar but didn't drink.
>>
>> A antonym walked out of the bar and headed for the
>> theatre.
>
> Essex man walks into a bar innit.
>
A Cockney walks into a Jack.
--
Isabelle Cecchini
> In article<20111123223453.d...@gmail.com>,
> Anton Shepelev<anto...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
>>>>>> the bartender asks it to leave.
>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink.
>>>>>> They leave.
>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>>>>>> 14. An umlaut walks into a bar.
>
>>>>>> 1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
>>>>>> 2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink,
>>>>>> the bartender asks it to leave.
>>>>>> 3. A question mark walks into a bar?
>>>>>> 4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.
>>>>>> 5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, planning to drink.
>>>>>> 6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
>>>>>> 7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink.
>>>>>> They leave.
>>>>>> 8. A metathesis walks into a bra.
>>>>>> 9. A greengrocer walk's into a bar.
>>>>>> 10. A spoonerism balks into a war.
>>>>>> 11. An en dashes into a barn.
>>>>>> 12. A colon walks into a bar and evacuates.
>>>>>> 13. An exclamation point walks into a bar!
>>>>>> 15. A hyphen walks in-to a bar.
>>>>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
>>>>>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>>>>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
>>>>>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
>>>>>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
>>>>>> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
>>>>>> 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
>>>>>> (And the surly innkeeper said: "A foutre for thee, whoreson that
>>>>>> thou art,
>>>>>> And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
>>>>>> 23: omg a TnAjrrr wks n2 a bar
>>>>>> 16. Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus walks into a bar.
>>>>>> 17. A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).
>>>>>> 18. A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.
>>>>>> 19. A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.
>>>>>> 20. A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick wall.
>>>>>> 21. A hypallage walks into a topless bar.
>>>>>> 22. A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn.
>>>>>> (And the surly innkeeper said: "A foutre for thee, whoreson that
>>>>>> thou art,
>>>>>> And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.")
>>>>>> 24. The double negative didn't walk into no bar.
>>>>>> 25. The reflexive pronoun walked into the bar itself.
>>>>>> 26. The missing vinculum was last seen walking into a bar.
>>>>>> 27. A reclusive verb walked into the bar and barred the door.
>>>>>>>> An anacoluthon walks into a bar, is how this joke starts.
>>>>>>>> An aposiopesis walks into a...
>>>>>>>> I'm not even going to tell you how a paraleipsis walks into a bar.
>>>>>>>> A surrealist walks into a bar papered with snowflakes and lightly
>>>>>>>> browned in snake oil.
>>>>>>>> A man de habla Spanglish camina into a cantina.
>>>>>>>> Un chevreau dans un Francais classe marche dans a une barre.
>>>>>>>> Miss Thistlebottom walks into a bar and asks whomever works there
>>>>>>>> quickly to serve her a mug of beer.
>>>>>>>> An eggcorn walks enter a bar.
>>>>>>>> A non-rhotic man walks into a bah.
>>>>>>>> Davy Crockett walks into a b'ar.
>>>>>>> Sometimes the man walks into the bar, and sometimes the bar walks
>>>>>>> into the man, Dude.
>>>>>
>>>>> A dangling participle walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long
>>>>> face?"
>>>>
>>>> A non sequitur sees a group going into a bar but doesn't go in.
>>>
>>> A superlative goes into a bar none.
>>
>> A paradox walked into a bar but didn't drink.
>>
>> A antonym walked out of the bar and headed for the
>> theatre.
>
> Essex man walks into a bar innit.
>
A Cockney walks into a Jack.
--
Isabelle Cecchini
Mike Lyle
Nov 24, 2011, 2:52:15 PM11/24/11
to
--
Mike.
Isabelle Cecchini
Nov 24, 2011, 2:53:36 PM11/24/11
to
>
--
Isabelle Cecchini
Anton Shepelev
Nov 24, 2011, 3:02:35 PM11/24/11
to
Athel Cornish-Bowden:
> I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots
> of lines like
>
> int main{}
> {
>
> }
>
> and by the end of trying to figure out what it
> meant any programmer would need to walk into a
> bar.
Yes, indeed. C is full of mysterious {'s, <'s, *'s,
@'s and %'s. It is the most popular language at
code obfuscation contests, like this:
http://www.textfiles.com/humor/COMPUTER/1984.c
the reading whereof gave me quite a few good laughs,
although I failed to undestand even a single pro-
gram. As the famous "History" says,
1972: Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that
shoots both forward and backward simultane-
ously. Not satisfied with the number of
deaths and permanent maimings from that in-
vention he invents C...
Anton
> I can't do C, but it would certainly contain lots
> of lines like
>
> int main{}
> {
>
> }
>
> and by the end of trying to figure out what it
> meant any programmer would need to walk into a
> bar.
@'s and %'s. It is the most popular language at
code obfuscation contests, like this:
http://www.textfiles.com/humor/COMPUTER/1984.c
the reading whereof gave me quite a few good laughs,
although I failed to undestand even a single pro-
gram. As the famous "History" says,
1972: Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that
shoots both forward and backward simultane-
ously. Not satisfied with the number of
deaths and permanent maimings from that in-
vention he invents C...
Anton
Aatu Koskensilta
Nov 24, 2011, 3:18:37 PM11/24/11
to
Anton Shepelev <anto...@gmail.com> writes:
> Yes, indeed. C is full of mysterious {'s, <'s, *'s, @'s and %'s.
Mysterious @'s? You must be thinking of Objective-C, surely.
> Yes, indeed. C is full of mysterious {'s, <'s, *'s, @'s and %'s.
--
Aatu Koskensilta (aatu.kos...@uta.fi)
"Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muss man schweigen."
- Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus
Sproz
Nov 24, 2011, 3:35:27 PM11/24/11
to
foo.walksInto(new oopProgrammer);
Mark
Robert Bannister
Nov 24, 2011, 5:50:07 PM11/24/11
to
On 24/11/11 6:33 PM, Leslie Danks wrote:
> James Hogg wrote:
>
>> Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
>>> On 2011-11-24 09:36:39 +0000, Athel Cornish-Bowden said:
>>>
>>> On 2011-11-24 05:22:59 +0000, Reinhold {Rey} Aman said:
>>>
>>> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
>>> [...]
>>> All right, a few more:
>>>
>>> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
>>> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
>>> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
>>> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
>>> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
>>> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
>>>
>>> A Greek walks into an mpar.
>>>
>>> Should be "a" there, not "an"
>>>
>>> An Afghan doesn't walk into a bar.
>>
>> A ram-raider drives into a bar.
>
> Able was I ere I walked into el bar.
>
<oh, very good>
> James Hogg wrote:
>
>> Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
>>> On 2011-11-24 09:36:39 +0000, Athel Cornish-Bowden said:
>>>
>>> On 2011-11-24 05:22:59 +0000, Reinhold {Rey} Aman said:
>>>
>>> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
>>> [...]
>>> All right, a few more:
>>>
>>> A dyslexic walks into a rab.
>>> A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].
>>> A ROT13 user walks into a one.
>>> A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-bar.
>>> A telegrapher walks into a -... .- .-. .
>>> A German walks into an Alkoholausschankabendlokal.
>>>
>>> A Greek walks into an mpar.
>>>
>>> Should be "a" there, not "an"
>>>
>>> An Afghan doesn't walk into a bar.
>>
>> A ram-raider drives into a bar.
>
> Able was I ere I walked into el bar.
>
--
Robert Bannister
tony cooper
Nov 24, 2011, 7:58:19 PM11/24/11
to
--
Tony Cooper - Orlando, Florida
Reinhold {Rey} Aman
Nov 25, 2011, 2:47:24 AM11/25/11
to
Peter Duncanson (BrE) wrote:
>
> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
[...]
>> Right. I wrote "An umlaut walks into a bär," but some google-
>
> Reinhold {Rey} Aman wrote:
[...]
>> grouper swallowed the < ¨ >.
>
> Interesting. I understood the version "An umlaut walks into a bar"
> from a different perspective. In the UK in printed works in English
> back in the 1950s, and perhaps 1960s, a horizontal bar, a macron,
> was used as the umlaut symbol. It was some years later that I
> started noticing the double-dot symbol replacing the macron.
>
> I don't know the reasons for that earlier convention. Three
> possibilities come to mind:
>
> 1. A compositor might miss double-dots when reading rapidly hand-
> written copy. A macron would be easier to write and easier to read.
>
> 2. The physical process of printing newspapers gave relatively low
> quality visible results meaning that two small dots would not have
> been reproduced reliably.
>
> 3. With moveable type the conventional use of a macron to represent
> an umlaut would reduced the number of characters to be stored in
> the magazine of a linotype machine or in the cases used when hand
> typesetting.
>
Your three reasons for using a macron instead of two dots may very well
be correct.
As to *handwritten* umlauts (ä, Ä, ö, Ö, ü, Ü): I have received many
handwritten letters in German and other languages from Germans, Finns,
Turks, and Hungarians whose languages use many umlauts.
I have never seen a macron used for ¨ by Turks and Hungarians, but
occasionally by Germans and often by Finns. I guess (many?) Finns write
macrons instead of dots because their language is just teeming with
umlauts and thus they can speed up their writing. When writing _Hyvää
päivää_ (Good day) and _sisäänkäytävä_ (entrance), they can reduce the
20 dots to 10 macrons.
I suppose Hungarians don't use macrons, to avoid confusing their <ö> and
<o´´> and <ü> and <u´´> (´´ are double acute accents over the vowels).
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