Puffy's Saloon Grand Opening!
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Although we've been open for awhile, business has pretty much sucked
around here, so instead of the usual stuff, I'm introducing new drinks.
Enjoy a "Mulder", which is basically a long island ice tea with a bit of
sodium amethol (truth agent).
Or for those of you who prefer, we have a Scully, which is really "Tasty".
It's composed of root beer and a bunch of other bunk.
Here's my personal favourite. The Cancerman. I can't tell you what's in
it, but it's guaranteed to leave a shitty taste in your mouth, and an
unsupressable urge for more. Served in an ashtray. (for an extra $2.00,
you get a clean one)
There's also the Skinner, which tastes much like kissing someone's ass.
We don't sell too many of these.
Then we have the Paulverizer, it's just beer, but it's similar to the
stuff I made for grad. It has 12% alc. and I was taken away in an
ambulance. Party on!
Everyone mark your calendar's for the first annual Paulverizer Day. I
know this is really egotistical, but I don't care. Friday December 13th
is my birthday, and everyone's first drink is on the house. Bring the
kids!
--The Paulverizer
X-Ville's:
Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
all are welcome
Rent-A-Cop--The Asylum
My other .sig is a Rolls Royce
Starbuck
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
>
> Although we've been open for awhile, business has pretty much sucked
> around here, so instead of the usual stuff, I'm introducing new drinks.
>
MMM - okay, how about a round of each! I finished my final project at 5:58 this
morning, and I could just use an IV of straight alcohol....can you just start me a
tab!?! I don't know about the bar hours, but if you could just let me sleep at
that little table in the back corner, I'll just *stay* until your birthday!
Also, I evidently missed some action in town the other night - I would say that
some people need a middle of the night "reality check" posse visit, except that
I'm WAY too tired....I guess we'll have to let them slide for now.
--
nan (how the hell am I supposed to catch up on 1200 posts?)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Mulder: "It gave me nightmares."
Scully: "I didn't think anything gave you nightmares."
Mulder: "Well, I was young."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Starbuck
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
>
> Sure thing, coming right up! I'll get your tab going right now, did you
> want the clean ashtray with your Cancerman? Didn't think so, they never
> do. You can stay at table 1013 (they're ALL table 1013!) as long as you
> want. I never sleep, I just go offline. Tell all your friends about the
> Dec. 13 bash! Don't worry, if your referring to that "catherine yronwode"
> person, a bunch of people (including myself) have made our intentions
> known to her (I was actually sorta nice about it!). Enjoy your drinks!
>
> --The Paulverizer
Great. Actually, what I really need is one of those little drink carts they have in
restaurants and hotels - that way I can bring my drinks with me when I head
over to the spa later on this afternoon...do you and Alan have a discount if I run
two tabs at one time?
--
nan (wondering if I'll *ever* recover in time for Christmas)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Frohike: "So, Mulder, where's your little partner."
Mulder: "She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you."
Frohike: "She's tasty."
Mulder: "You know, Frohike, it's men like you that gives perversion a bad
name."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Starbuck (n...@concentric.net) wrote:
: pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
: >
: > Sure thing, coming right up! I'll get your tab going right now, did you
: > want the clean ashtray with your Cancerman? Didn't think so, they never
: > do. You can stay at table 1013 (they're ALL table 1013!) as long as you
: > want. I never sleep, I just go offline. Tell all your friends about the
: > Dec. 13 bash! Don't worry, if your referring to that "catherine yronwode"
: > person, a bunch of people (including myself) have made our intentions
: > known to her (I was actually sorta nice about it!). Enjoy your drinks!
: Great. Actually, what I really need is one of those little drink carts they have in
: restaurants and hotels - that way I can bring my drinks with me when I head
: over to the spa later on this afternoon...do you and Alan have a discount if I run
: two tabs at one time?
I think that the Alan/Paulverizer co-op is definately worth considering!
I'll have his people call my people, and we'll do lunch!
--The Paulverizer
X-Ville's:
Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
all are welcome
Rent-A-Cop--HOME Asylum
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Starbuck (n...@concentric.net) wrote:
: MMM - okay, how about a round of each! I finished my final project at 5:58 this
: morning, and I could just use an IV of straight alcohol....can you just start me a
: tab!?! I don't know about the bar hours, but if you could just let me sleep at
: that little table in the back corner, I'll just *stay* until your birthday!
: Also, I evidently missed some action in town the other night - I would say that
: some people need a middle of the night "reality check" posse visit, except that
: I'm WAY too tired....I guess we'll have to let them slide for now.
Sure thing, coming right up! I'll get your tab going right now, did you
want the clean ashtray with your Cancerman? Didn't think so, they never
do. You can stay at table 1013 (they're ALL table 1013!) as long as you
want. I never sleep, I just go offline. Tell all your friends about the
Dec. 13 bash! Don't worry, if your referring to that "catherine yronwode"
person, a bunch of people (including myself) have made our intentions
known to her (I was actually sorta nice about it!). Enjoy your drinks!
--The Paulverizer
Mark Johnson
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
<snip... all good stuff>
>Everyone mark your calendar's for the first annual Paulverizer Day. I
>know this is really egotistical, but I don't care. Friday December 13th
>is my birthday, and everyone's first drink is on the house. Bring the
>kids!
Hey, that's my birthday too!
BTW who's running the poker tables? I'd like to volunteer, ...of
course the house gets a 15% cut. We'll need a piano player and
"Dietrich" style singer... you know, kinda like Madeleine Khan in
Blazing Saddles. One Mulder please.. what the hell make it a double!
Mark (nuthin' up ma sleeves) Johnson
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Mark Johnson (Mark.J...@wmc.com.au) wrote:
: pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
: Hey, that's my birthday too!
Right on! How old will you be?
: BTW who's running the poker tables? I'd like to volunteer, ...of
: course the house gets a 15% cut. We'll need a piano player and
: "Dietrich" style singer... you know, kinda like Madeleine Khan in
: Blazing Saddles. One Mulder please.. what the hell make it a double!
You can rig... er run the poker table and I'll split the night's take from
your table with you. We're gonna need a baccarat and blackjack table as
well as a roulette wheel. Any volunteers?
Here's your Mulder, I'll put it on your tab.
: Mark (nuthin' up ma sleeves) Johnson
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
some dealer YOU are!
DAVID PAUL BRADLEY
On 27 Nov 1996 pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
> Starbuck (n...@concentric.net) wrote:
>
> : MMM - okay, how about a round of each! I finished my final project at 5:58 this
> : morning, and I could just use an IV of straight alcohol....can you just start me a
> : tab!?! I don't know about the bar hours, but if you could just let me sleep at
> : that little table in the back corner, I'll just *stay* until your birthday!
>
> : Also, I evidently missed some action in town the other night - I would say that
> : some people need a middle of the night "reality check" posse visit, except that
> : I'm WAY too tired....I guess we'll have to let them slide for now.
>
> Sure thing, coming right up! I'll get your tab going right now, did you
> want the clean ashtray with your Cancerman? Didn't think so, they never
> do. You can stay at table 1013 (they're ALL table 1013!) as long as you
> want. I never sleep, I just go offline. Tell all your friends about the
> Dec. 13 bash! Don't worry, if your referring to that "catherine yronwode"
> person, a bunch of people (including myself) have made our intentions
> known to her (I was actually sorta nice about it!). Enjoy your drinks!
>
> --The Paulverizer
> X-Ville's:
> Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
> Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
> all are welcome
> Rent-A-Cop--HOME Asylum
>
> My other .sig is a Rolls Royce
>
>
> what and where is puffy's saloon ?!?
Are the drinks cheap :->
David Bradley
dpb4.coventry.ac.uk
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
DAVID PAUL BRADLEY (dp...@coventry.ac.uk) wrote:
: > what and where is puffy's saloon ?!?
: Are the drinks cheap :->
Well Dave, Puffy's Saloon is X-Ville's local tavern. The drinks are
priced fairly, but go down real smooth. It's located in the town square,
and is named after our long lost original pervert, Puffy Breats Boy. Come
on down and bring the kids!
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Alan Hurshman (alan...@demosys.gcomm.com) wrote:
: A liquid lunch, I hope... What we need is a town
: cash card with some sort of string or chain to
: attach it to your wrist. Then, when you stagger
: from saloon to store to spa we just have to get
: you on your feet long enough to swipe the card.
: Or we could have bar codes tatooed on your
: forehead and just run your head over the scanner.
: (OK, who else watched this weeks 'This Hour
: Has 22 Minutes'?).
Sounds like a plan. I like the barcode idea, but I think that it should
only be on the clones. That way we'll be able to tell whose is whose. I
think the rest of us should have credit tubes like on Max Headroom.
: BTW, with all the Americans who do ATX from
: work being away killing turkeys are there any
: Canadian residents of X-Ville up for a coup d'etat?
: Anyone know where the X-Ville armory is?
Armory, we don't need no stinkin' armory. Let's just construct a few
explosives and "go to town"! Heh heh. We're BAAAAD little X-Villians.
Pepper
Alan Hurshman wrote:
>
> pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote in article
> <57i3ij$i...@news.sas.ab.ca>...
> >
> > I think that the Alan/Paulverizer co-op is definately worth
> considering!
> > I'll have his people call my people, and we'll do lunch!
> >
> > --The Paulverizer
>
> cash card with some sort of string or chain to
> attach it to your wrist. Then, when you stagger
> from saloon to store to spa we just have to get
> you on your feet long enough to swipe the card.
> Or we could have bar codes tatooed on your
> forehead and just run your head over the scanner.
> (OK, who else watched this weeks 'This Hour
> Has 22 Minutes'?).
>
> work being away killing turkeys are there any
> Canadian residents of X-Ville up for a coup d'etat?
> Anyone know where the X-Ville armory is?
>
> Alan H.,
> The Spa, X-Ville.
> (Agent Provocateur)
> (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
>
Hey, Alan, buddy...this is one American a.t.x.-er that isn't off killing
turkeys and I see what you're trying to pull! You won't get away with
anything as long as I'm here!
Pepper
"I love all you wacky fans! Please stay away from my house!"
Dave Barry
Hey Jude
>
> BTW, with all the Americans who do ATX from
> work being away killing turkeys are there any
> Canadian residents of X-Ville up for a coup d'etat?
> Anyone know where the X-Ville armory is?
>
> --
> Alan H.,
> The Spa, X-Ville.
> (Agent Provocateur)
> (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
>
Not *all* of us Americans are killing turkeys! Some of us 'ham it up'
<g>.
--
Jude Dettmann
ju...@execpc.com
http://www.execpc.com/~juded/jude.html
"Fasten your seatbelts, its going to be a bumpy night!"
-- Margo Channing
Alan Hurshman
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote in article
<57i3ij$i...@news.sas.ab.ca>...
>
> I think that the Alan/Paulverizer co-op is definately worth
considering!
> I'll have his people call my people, and we'll do lunch!
>
> --The Paulverizer
A liquid lunch, I hope... What we need is a town
cash card with some sort of string or chain to
attach it to your wrist. Then, when you stagger
from saloon to store to spa we just have to get
you on your feet long enough to swipe the card.
Or we could have bar codes tatooed on your
forehead and just run your head over the scanner.
(OK, who else watched this weeks 'This Hour
Has 22 Minutes'?).
BTW, with all the Americans who do ATX from
Claire Marie Kerr
Mark Johnson wrote:
>
> pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
>
> <snip... all good stuff>
>
> >Everyone mark your calendar's for the first annual Paulverizer Day. I
> >know this is really egotistical, but I don't care. Friday December 13th
> >is my birthday, and everyone's first drink is on the house. Bring the
> >kids!
>
> course the house gets a 15% cut. We'll need a piano player and
> "Dietrich" style singer... you know, kinda like Madeleine Khan in
> Blazing Saddles. One Mulder please.. what the hell make it a double!
>
December 29th is my birthday, but seeing as how that's an
oft-neglected day, I'm willing to change it to the 13th!
Much cooler number, anyhow.
Dya'think I could get me one of them balloons with smiley-faces on it?
Do birthday girls get free beer nut refills??
--Claire [dusting off my party hat]
(Canadian Ambassador To X-Ville)
Starbuck
Pepper wrote:
>
> Alan Hurshman wrote:
> >snip<<
> > BTW, with all the Americans who do ATX from
> > work being away killing turkeys are there any
> > Canadian residents of X-Ville up for a coup d'etat?
> > Anyone know where the X-Ville armory is?
> >
>
> Hey, Alan, buddy...this is one American a.t.x.-er that isn't off killing
> turkeys and I see what you're trying to pull! You won't get away with
> anything as long as I'm here!
>
> Pepper
> "I love all you wacky fans! Please stay away from my house!"
> Dave Barry
No kidding!! Those of us who couldn't be with our families for Thanksgiving
are saddled up to the bar at Puffy's - even with a few drinks in me, you can't
pull that on us!! (but thanks for reminding me that I'm *not* with my whole
family!!<g>)
--
nan (I couldn't make myself drive 500 miles for one day, so here I am.)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Scully: "Many of the things I have seen have challenged my faith and my belief
in an ordered universe. But this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to
know, to understand, to apply reason to those things which seek to defy it."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Claire Marie Kerr (CM3...@ARTSU2.Watstar.UWaterloo.CA) wrote:
: >
: > >Everyone mark your calendar's for the first annual Paulverizer Day. I
: > >know this is really egotistical, but I don't care. Friday December 13th
: > >is my birthday, and everyone's first drink is on the house. Bring the
: > >kids!
: >
: > Hey, that's my birthday too!
: > BTW who's running the poker tables? I'd like to volunteer, ...of
: > course the house gets a 15% cut. We'll need a piano player and
: > "Dietrich" style singer... you know, kinda like Madeleine Khan in
: > Blazing Saddles. One Mulder please.. what the hell make it a double!
: December 29th is my birthday, but seeing as how that's an
: oft-neglected day, I'm willing to change it to the 13th!
: Much cooler number, anyhow.
: Dya'think I could get me one of them balloons with smiley-faces on it?
: Do birthday girls get free beer nut refills??
I'll make sure you get your baloon and your beer nuts, but wouldn't you
prefer sunflower seeds? I'm thinking, "what the hell, why don't we make
this EVERYONE'S birthday party?!?" Who else wants in?
Pepper
Um...let me check my calendar...nope, no - appointment - with Krycek
<eg>, no cult meetings or freaky rituals (they're all midnight the night
before)...okay, I'm free! My birthday's in May, but who could pass up a
party at Puffy's IN HER HONOR? I sure can't!
May's a boring month, anyway...
Pepper
laura capozzola
Is the party before or after Millennium?
-Laura-
Jan Morier
Paulverizer invited:
>I'll make sure you get your baloon and your beer nuts, but wouldn't you
>prefer sunflower seeds? I'm thinking, "what the hell, why don't we make
>this EVERYONE'S birthday party?!?" Who else wants in?
>
> --The Paulverizer
>X-Ville's:
>Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
>Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
> all are welcome
>Rent-A-Cop--HOME Asylum
(Mutter mutter) - 'tis I Village Idiot
MY birthday is Dec.4 and I will be the same age as Mulder's apt.number
(ooh and my house address is also 42...) this is gonna be a great year!
I'll postpone my celebratory imbibing 'til the 13th - You got scotch?
Are we X-changing pressies? Me I want a new harmonica and some cool finger-
less gloves (like Frohike's) and maybe a wee cupcake with a candle from
Hindy's bakery. Hey, a Village Idiot's life is a simple life!
RightBrain
The Village Idiot
Crunchy Frog
On Thu, 28 Nov 1996, Mark Johnson wrote:
> pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
> <snip... all good stuff>
>
> Hey, that's my birthday too!
> BTW who's running the poker tables? I'd like to volunteer, ...of
> course the house gets a 15% cut. We'll need a piano player and
> "Dietrich" style singer... you know, kinda like Madeleine Khan in
> Blazing Saddles. One Mulder please.. what the hell make it a double!
>
> Mark (nuthin' up ma sleeves) Johnson
OOOOH! It looks like no-body's volunteered to be the whiskey &
cigarettes - voiced torch singer, so I'll volunteer!! At least for the
grand opening! I know all the words to "Get Out Of Town" "Can't Stop
Lovin' Dat Man O' Mine", "Dem Dere Eyes", "Trouble is a Man", etc etc...
Of course, in X-VILLE the lyrics will have to be tailored...
"Can't help lovin' dat clone of mine..."
"I fell in love with you the first time I looked into dem oily eyes..."
"Trouble is a Rat..."
*And* since there is a substantial number of Canadians in X-Ville, I'll
even go for bilingual & do some Edith Piaf songs! (But I can't promise
that my versions will make any sense... I still sing "Milord" along the
lines of "La-la, la-la, la-la-la la, la-la... <mumble mumble mumble
mumble> Milord, la-la-la-la, la-la...")
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Crunchy Frog <:8 )--
a.k.a. "Doctor Frog, Medicine 'Phibian"
Surgeon In Residence at St. Pendrell's Regional Hospital and
Director of the "Full-Measures" Half-way House.
And part-time Pop-Tart
Starbuck
Pepper wrote:
>
> pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
> >
> > I'll make sure you get your baloon and your beer nuts, but wouldn't you
> > prefer sunflower seeds? I'm thinking, "what the hell, why don't we make
> > this EVERYONE'S birthday party?!?" Who else wants in?
> >
> > --The Paulverizer
>>
> <eg>, no cult meetings or freaky rituals (they're all midnight the night
> before)...okay, I'm free! My birthday's in May, but who could pass up a
> party at Puffy's IN HER HONOR? I sure can't!
>
> May's a boring month, anyway...
> Pepper
Mine's in May, too - maybe we'll just have to have two HUGE parties - one in
December and one in May (that way we can get 2X the free drinks!!)
--
nan (May is boring - but not as bad as February)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Scully: "Those are the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know
how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible."
Mulder: "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
laura capozzola
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
>
> laura capozzola (laur...@erols.com) wrote:
>
> : > : > >Everyone mark your calendar's for the first annual Paulverizer Day. I
> : > : > >know this is really egotistical, but I don't care. Friday December 13th
> : > : > >is my birthday, and everyone's first drink is on the house. Bring the
> : > : > >kids!
>
> : >
> : > I'll make sure you get your baloon and your beer nuts, but wouldn't you
> : > prefer sunflower seeds? I'm thinking, "what the hell, why don't we make
> : > this EVERYONE'S birthday party?!?" Who else wants in?
>
> : -Laura-
Hey - This is Laura - I got snipped in the wrong spot. I didn't say the
above. I just wanted to know if the party was before or after
Millennium. I guess this below part is the answer. Thanks Paulverizer.
That establishment has it all.
-Laura-
>
> Before, after and during. We have big screen tv's in the lounge and pool
> room.
>
> --The Paulverizer
> X-Ville's:
> Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
> Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
> all are welcome
> Rent-A-Cop--HOME Asylum
>
whatever
Crunchy Frog wrote:
> OOOOH! It looks like no-body's volunteered to be the whiskey &
> cigarettes - voiced torch singer, so I'll volunteer!! At least for the
> grand opening! I know all the words to "Get Out Of Town" "Can't Stop
> Lovin' Dat Man O' Mine", "Dem Dere Eyes", "Trouble is a Man", etc etc...
>
> Of course, in X-VILLE the lyrics will have to be tailored...
> "Can't help lovin' dat clone of mine..."
> "I fell in love with you the first time I looked into dem oily eyes..."
> "Trouble is a Rat..."
>
> *And* since there is a substantial number of Canadians in X-Ville, I'll
> even go for bilingual & do some Edith Piaf songs! (But I can't promise
> that my versions will make any sense... I still sing "Milord" along the
> lines of "La-la, la-la, la-la-la la, la-la... <mumble mumble mumble
> mumble> Milord, la-la-la-la, la-la...")
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Crunchy Frog <:8 )--
> a.k.a. "Doctor Frog, Medicine 'Phibian"
> Surgeon In Residence at St. Pendrell's Regional Hospital and
> Director of the "Full-Measures" Half-way House.
> And part-time Pop-Tart
* What's really needed here is the POP-Tart Glee Club.
How heart-warming to practice songs with spirits, er, spirit.
Bringing joy to all the shut-ins of X-Ville. (Is Krycek still
handcuffed to the bed?) Delighting all with bawdy remakes of
familiar tunes. Bring the kids!
Practice sessions start at the far table during
Happy Hour at Puffy's and continue until the last person
passes out. Uh, collapses from exhaustion? Oh, whatever!
deb...or whatever.
(Who used to do things like make up off-color lyrics to
songs when I used to bartend in the Real World.)
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
laura capozzola (laur...@erols.com) wrote:
: > : > >Everyone mark your calendar's for the first annual Paulverizer Day. I
: > : > >know this is really egotistical, but I don't care. Friday December 13th
: > : > >is my birthday, and everyone's first drink is on the house. Bring the
: > : > >kids!
: > : Do birthday girls get free beer nut refills??
: >
: > I'll make sure you get your baloon and your beer nuts, but wouldn't you
: > prefer sunflower seeds? I'm thinking, "what the hell, why don't we make
: > this EVERYONE'S birthday party?!?" Who else wants in?
: >
: -Laura-
Before, after and during. We have big screen tv's in the lounge and pool
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Starbuck (n...@concentric.net) wrote:
: Pepper wrote:
: > Um...let me check my calendar...nope, no - appointment - with Krycek
: > <eg>, no cult meetings or freaky rituals (they're all midnight the night
: > before)...okay, I'm free! My birthday's in May, but who could pass up a
: > party at Puffy's IN HER HONOR? I sure can't!
: Mine's in May, too - maybe we'll just have to have two HUGE parties - one in
: December and one in May (that way we can get 2X the free drinks!!)
Oh sure, everyone mooch free booze off the dumb Canadian! That's okay, I
just got a nice big bounty from that troll I just greased, so I'm
financially okay for awhile.
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
: OOOOH! It looks like no-body's volunteered to be the whiskey &
: cigarettes - voiced torch singer, so I'll volunteer!! At least for the
: grand opening! I know all the words to "Get Out Of Town" "Can't Stop
: Lovin' Dat Man O' Mine", "Dem Dere Eyes", "Trouble is a Man", etc etc...
: Of course, in X-VILLE the lyrics will have to be tailored...
: "Can't help lovin' dat clone of mine..."
: "I fell in love with you the first time I looked into dem oily eyes..."
: "Trouble is a Rat..."
: *And* since there is a substantial number of Canadians in X-Ville, I'll
: even go for bilingual & do some Edith Piaf songs! (But I can't promise
: that my versions will make any sense... I still sing "Milord" along the
: lines of "La-la, la-la, la-la-la la, la-la... <mumble mumble mumble
: mumble> Milord, la-la-la-la, la-la...")
Party on, Crunchy! For Canadian content I want to hear "The Last
Saskatchewan Pirate" by the Arrogant Worms... or the X-Ville version, "The
Last Saskatchewan Alien." If it's all the same to you, I've heard quite
enough of Anne Murray though.
Coleen Sullivan-Baier
In <329FC4...@polaristel.net> whatever <what...@polaristel.net>
writes:
>
>(Who used to do things like make up off-color lyrics to
>songs when I used to bartend in the Real World.)
ohgod, ohgod, we WERE seperated at birth...this is one of my
FAVORITE things to do at work, whilst wielding my baloney.
"In my mind I'm touching her vagina...."
"You never close your eyes anymore when you kiss my tits...and
there's a big gap now, 'tween your cock and my fingertips...I'm trying
hard now to blow it...but, baby, you keep on stowin' it...."
(Chevy truck song).....Suck my cock!! eewww-ewwww!!
("You belong to the city")--"Let me suck on your titty"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXgizzieXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Screw, screw, screw your honey, by my back door"
bcc...@aol.com
In article <01bbdd51$14ff8480$461e...@devel1.Psychology.Dal.Ca>, "Alan
Hurshman" <alan...@demosys.gcomm.com> writes:
(snip, snip)
> What we need is a town
>cash card with some sort of string or chain to
>attach it to your wrist. Then, when you stagger
>from saloon to store to spa we just have to get
>you on your feet long enough to swipe the card.
>Or we could have bar codes tatooed on your
>forehead and just run your head over the scanner.
(snip, snip)
Me thinks that with this and other various recent posting, X-Ville needs a
Banker.
(I, of course, have only sniped quotes from Alan's postings because he is
my hero...sigh...).
--Bobbie--
Hopefully soon-to-be Certified Insurance Counselor of X-Ville
etc. etc.
Starbuck
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote:
>
> Starbuck (n...@concentric.net) wrote:
> : Pepper wrote:
>
> : > Um...let me check my calendar...nope, no - appointment - with Krycek
> : > <eg>, no cult meetings or freaky rituals (they're all midnight the night
> : > before)...okay, I'm free! My birthday's in May, but who could pass up a
> : > party at Puffy's IN HER HONOR? I sure can't!
>
> : Mine's in May, too - maybe we'll just have to have two HUGE parties - one in
> : December and one in May (that way we can get 2X the free drinks!!)
>
> Oh sure, everyone mooch free booze off the dumb Canadian! That's okay, I
> just got a nice big bounty from that troll I just greased, so I'm
> financially okay for awhile.
>
> --The Paulverizer
We *sure* would appreciate it!! How about we'll work out a deal - I'll help cover
the bar on your birthday so you don't have to worry about it, and then you can
cover myself & Pepper when our birthdays roll around in May. (Pepper - is
yours close to the 23 by any chance?) I might even let you take the Hummer
for the week of your birthday...
--
nan
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Langly: "Is this your skeptical partner?"
Frohike: "She's hot."
Byers: "You don't believe that the CIA, threatened by a loss of power and
funding, because of the collapse of the cold war, wouldn't dream of having the
old enemy back?"
Scully: "I think you give the government too much credit. I mean, the
government can't control the deficit or manage crime, what makes you think
they can plan and execute such an elaborate conspiracy?"
Frohike: "She *is* hot."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Pepper
Actually, my b-day's May 8. But I'm willing to celebrate at any time,
just to make ya feel better! :)
Pepper
X-Ville Villager With Torch/Pied Piper/Snake Charmer/Correctional
Officer/High Priestess, Cult of Eugene Tooms
Starbuck
Pepper wrote:
>
> Starbuck wrote:
> >
> > We *sure* would appreciate it!! How about we'll work out a deal - I'll help cover
> > the bar on your birthday so you don't have to worry about it, and then you can
> > cover myself & Pepper when our birthdays roll around in May. (Pepper - is
> > yours close to the 23 by any chance?) I might even let you take the Hummer
> > for the week of your birthday...
> > --
> > nan
>
> just to make ya feel better! :)
>
> Pepper
> X-Ville Villager With Torch/Pied Piper/Snake Charmer/Correctional
> Officer/High Priestess, Cult of Eugene Tooms
What a sweet gesture! Free drinks for you!!! Or, we could just take two whole
weeks off from our jobs and stay at Puffy's starting with your birthday and
ending with mine! May is a boring month, anyway, like you said. I guess I
should start asking Dr. Lisa for those two weeks off...
--
nan
Dr. Lisa's loyal assistant in the Unholy Trinity
Part time deputy/posse leader in the big black HUMMER!
Jan Morier
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
>
>Party on, Crunchy! For Canadian content I want to hear "The Last
>Saskatchewan Pirate" by the Arrogant Worms... or the X-Ville version, "The
>Last Saskatchewan Alien." If it's all the same to you, I've heard quite
>enough of Anne Murray though.
Ooooh Paul, it's gloat time!
I just have to take a moment to tell you that I am em-cee-ing
a Worms concert tonight! I just hope I don't flub it and call
them the "Alien Worms"
Yes, they always do the Last Saskatchewan Pirate when they
come to Regina, it's a crowd pleaser to be sure.
I'll raise a glass and think of you!
Cheers,
RightBrain, the Village Idiot
and President of the Regina Guild of Folk Arts
Alan Hurshman
Starbuck <n...@concentric.net> wrote in article
<329E55...@concentric.net>...
> >
> > Hey, Alan, buddy...this is one American a.t.x.-er that isn't off
killing
> > turkeys and I see what you're trying to pull! You won't get away with
> > anything as long as I'm here!
> >
> > Pepper
> > "I love all you wacky fans! Please stay away from my house!"
> > Dave Barry
>
> No kidding!! Those of us who couldn't be with our families for
Thanksgiving
> are saddled up to the bar at Puffy's - even with a few drinks in me,
you can't
> pull that on us!! (but thanks for reminding me that I'm *not* with my
whole
> family!!<g>)
Ahhhhh! But guess where I've been hiding
the bags of fertilizer? The gasoline?
(lights fuse)
--
Alan Hurshman,
The Spa, X-Ville.
Alan Hurshman
Alan Hurshman <alan...@demosys.gcomm.com> wrote in article
<01bbdf7c$69376f40$461e...@devel1.Psychology.Dal.Ca>...
snipp....
> > No kidding!! Those of us who couldn't be with our families for
> Thanksgiving
> > are saddled up to the bar at Puffy's - even with a few drinks in me,
> you can't
> > pull that on us!! (but thanks for reminding me that I'm *not* with
my
> whole
> > family!!<g>)
>
> Ahhhhh! But guess where I've been hiding
> the bags of fertilizer? The gasoline?
> (lights fuse)
> --
> Alan Hurshman,
I've been waiting ove 20 minutes and no "KABOOM".
Better check the fuse. (Goes back to Puffy's, Crawls
into basement). My god, what is that smell!!! Looks
like the detonator went off. Oooops. I guess i should
have been more specific when I ordered the fertilizer.
Anyone want to buy 6 large drums of pig manure and
gasoline?
--
Alan Hurshman,
The Spa, X-Ville.
(Halifax, Nova Scotia)
whatever
* SISTER!!
Crocodile Rock:
Me and Susie had so much fun,
Underage and full of cum
Wearing leathers and cracking whips
I used to smear her with shrimp dip
(My brother and I did the whole song once but this
is the only part I remember.)
Slow ride... Make me queasy
Slow ride... Take me easy
Oh I'm in the mood
The rythm is right
Move to the music
I know you can fuck me all night
Whip it:
Fuck me
Fuck me good... et cetera
Coke commercial:
The stars will always shine
The birds will always sing
And when she swallows,
You know it's the Real Thing
If she spits
You better dump that chick
And find yourself one
that can really lick!
or:
Just subsitute "A big hard dick" for
"Always Coca-Cola"
Gleefully yours,
deb...or whatever.
whatever
bcc...@aol.com wrote:
>
> In article <01bbdd51$14ff8480$461e...@devel1.Psychology.Dal.Ca>, "Alan
> Hurshman" <alan...@demosys.gcomm.com> writes:
>
> (snip, snip)
>
> > What we need is a town
> >cash card with some sort of string or chain to
> >attach it to your wrist. Then, when you stagger
> >from saloon to store to spa we just have to get
> >you on your feet long enough to swipe the card.
> >Or we could have bar codes tatooed on your
> >forehead and just run your head over the scanner.
>
> (snip, snip)
>
> Me thinks that with this and other various recent posting, X-Ville needs a
> Banker.
>
> (I, of course, have only sniped quotes from Alan's postings because he is
> my hero...sigh...).
* Mine, too. <sigh> I think he should be a God or Saint
for coming up with the Spa idea.
Alan, if you're listening, I respectfully request permission
to kneel at your feet and look up at you with adoration every
other Tuesday. Unless you have a previous engagement, Oh Great One.
deb...or whatever.
Alan Hurshman
whatever <what...@polaristel.net> wrote in article
<32A1BD...@polaristel.net>...
> Coleen Sullivan-Baier wrote:
Much snipping of NAUGHTY lyrics.
My, some of us are being very, very bad
this weekend. Even I am blushing!
Alan Hurshman
> Alan, if you're listening, I respectfully request permission
> to kneel at your feet and look up at you with adoration every
No. Of course not. Someone might mistake you
for one of the staff and that would just not do. It
also goes against all the spa stands for. Now,
do get up and try out this new velvet covered
massage table (with super vibro action). I'll go
get the lilac scented massage oil. I was
guaranteed the fabric would not stain but we
better test it before I buy anymore.
Crunchy Frog
On 30 Nov 1996, Coleen Sullivan-Baier wrote:
> In <329FC4...@polaristel.net> whatever <what...@polaristel.net>
> writes:
>
> >
> >(Who used to do things like make up off-color lyrics to
> >songs when I used to bartend in the Real World.)
>
>
> ohgod, ohgod, we WERE seperated at birth...this is one of my
> FAVORITE things to do at work, whilst wielding my baloney.
>
<heavy snipping of gizzies NAUGHTY lyrics>
Well, I *did* know a naughty version of "Hotel California"...
lines like, ahem, "we are all just prisoners here, of this hand-held
device...." and then something about in the master's chambers, they
gathered something something, but they couldn't find the batteries...
But personally, I think I'll stick to slightly more G-rated
songs... well, I INSIST that I get to sing "Gentleman Friend"... that's as
racy as I'll go.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Crunchy Frog <:8 )--
a.k.a. "Doctor Frog, Medicine 'Phibian" Surgeon In Residence at St.
Pendrell's Regional Hospital, Director of the "Full-Measures" Half-way
House, and maybe part-time throaty-voiced torch singer at Puffy's Saloon?
Also, Goddess-By-Proxy of the Ratboy Brigade and
Zen Priestess of the Taoist Temple of Krycek. (not in X-Ville. Yet)
Starbuck
> Alan Hurshman,
> The Spa, X-Ville.
>
> (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
Aha!! Serves you right for trying to pull something over on us dumb
Americans!!! (wait, that didn't come out right...)
--
nan
Dr. Lisa's loyal assistant in the Unholy Trinity
Part time deputy/posse leader in the big black HUMMER!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Mulder: "As an employee of the National Security Agency, you should know
that a gunshot wound to the stomach is probably the most painful and the
slowest way to die. But I'm not a very good shot. And when I miss, I tend to
miss low."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Mark Johnson
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
>Mark Johnson (Mark.J...@wmc.com.au) wrote:
>: pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
>: Hey, that's my birthday too!
>Right on! How old will you be?
Jeez, I don't how many earth years, but I'm around 30 spunksecs give
or take a few spoofs, but it really is my birthday. Kinda fitting that
it's Friday the 13th.
>You can rig... er run the poker table and I'll split the night's take from
>your table with you. We're gonna need a baccarat and blackjack table as
>well as a roulette wheel. Any volunteers?
>Here's your Mulder, I'll put it on your tab.
Hey, this is a joint venture. I get pissed for free.
>: Mark (nuthin' up ma sleeves) Johnson
> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
> some dealer YOU are!
Yeah, but I've got 4 arms.
> --The Paulverizer
Mark Johnson
(X-Ville's gold-toothed rat gambler who sidelines as the hookers'
official masseur- those four arms do come in handy, if you'll pardon
the pun.)
whatever
> > Coleen Sullivan-Baier wrote:
>
> Much snipping of NAUGHTY lyrics.
>
> My, some of us are being very, very bad
> this weekend. Even I am blushing!
> Alan Hurshman,
> The Spa, X-Ville.
>
> (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
Blushing is good for
you, Alan. Not only does it
build character, but it
increases the blood flow
to your head... Er, whatever!
deb...or whatever.
Mark Johnson
giz...@ix.netcom.com(Coleen Sullivan-Baier) wrote:
Giz,
You forgot that old classic....
"nuthin' could be finer than to be in a vagina in the morrrrrrrrrning,
nuthin' could be sweeter than to go down and..."
well, I'll let you finish that one.
Mark J(X-Ville gambler, masseur and now part of the lyric perverters)
>In <329FC4...@polaristel.net> whatever <what...@polaristel.net>
>writes:
>
>>
>>(Who used to do things like make up off-color lyrics to
>>songs when I used to bartend in the Real World.)
> ohgod, ohgod, we WERE seperated at birth...this is one of my
>FAVORITE things to do at work, whilst wielding my baloney.
> "In my mind I'm touching her vagina...."
LISA LOISELLE
At the tender age of 15, I bastardized most of the libretto to
'Les Miserables', did a number on 'Phantom' at 16, and 'Jesus Christ
Superstar' at 17. A small sampling:
'On my own, pretending he's inside me....'
'He says, Cosette, I fuck you all too much...'
(Masquerade from Phantom)
'Masturbate!... fuck a cow, fuck a goose, fuck a dog, fuck a
moose...masturbate!'
Lisa
...I *only* pervert show tunes
mis...@aol.com
In article <329E55...@concentric.net>, Starbuck <n...@concentric.net>
writes:
> Alan Hurshman wrote:
>> >snip<<
>> > BTW, with all the Americans who do ATX from
>> > work being away killing turkeys are there any
>> > Canadian residents of X-Ville up for a coup d'etat?
>> > Anyone know where the X-Ville armory is?
>> >
>> > Alan H.
>>
>> Hey, Alan, buddy...this is one American a.t.x.-er that isn't off
killing
>> turkeys and I see what you're trying to pull! You won't get away with
>> anything as long as I'm here!
>>
As Sheriff, I thank all you loyal American X-Villers for holding
down the fort from those rebel Canadian X-Villers while some
of us were busy getting ptomaine poisoning (barfed for six
hours straight...wanna see? No, I guess not.)
But let's remember, folks, we're X-Villers first, before anything!!
We need a town anthem, and a flag. Who are the local
composers and Betsy Rosses out there? (Sorry, my X-Ville
directory got cranberry sauce all over it this weekend. USED
cranberry sauce, that is).
>No kidding!! Those of us who couldn't be with our families for
Thanksgiving
>are saddled up to the bar at Puffy's - even with a few drinks in me, you
>can't
>pull that on us!! (but thanks for reminding me that I'm *not* with my
whole
>family!!<g>)
>--
>nan (I couldn't make myself drive 500 miles for one day, so here I am.)
Well, nan, take my family...PLEASE! <ba-dum-bum>
(Oooh, that was a bad one. But, please, take my family...take
them out behind a shed or something...they drove me CRAZY!)
"Thanksgiving is the time you give thanks that you no longer
have to live with your parents."
-- Mishka (Sheriff of XVille; also XVille's
sanitation engineer and resident town bum)
Professional motto: "Always striving to keep our town clean
so I can sleep in the street without getting crud all over me."
*****************************************
"Fear of chaos cannot justify
unwarranted censorship of free speech." (Al Gore)
*** Save the Fan Websites -- FREE SPEECH IS OUT THERE! ***
mis...@aol.com
In article <57lv6b$a...@news.sas.ab.ca>, pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca ()
writes:
>I'll make sure you get your baloon and your beer nuts, but wouldn't you
>prefer sunflower seeds? I'm thinking, "what the hell, why don't we make
>this EVERYONE'S birthday party?!?" Who else wants in?
>
> --The Paulverizer
>X-Ville's:
>Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
>Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
> all are welcome
>Rent-A-Cop--HOME Asylum
Hey, how generous of you to share your birthday with us.
Let's have an "Un-Birthday" party! Do you have any
creative dart boards in your establishment? I need
to take out some hostility.
mis...@aol.com
A suggestion from Alan H., I think?
I didn't get the original quote.
>> > What we need is a town
>> >cash card with some sort of string or chain to
>> >attach it to your wrist. Then, when you stagger
>> >from saloon to store to spa we just have to get
>> >you on your feet long enough to swipe the card.
>> >Or we could have bar codes tatooed on your
>> >forehead and just run your head over the scanner.
Cool idea. But what if we figure out a way to.
keep track of what we owe through our smallpox
innoculization scars somehow? Would this be to
"spooky"? Then, if you get too badly in debt,
you get an arm (or other limb?) hacked off.
Sorry, folks, I'm still recovering from last night's ep.
Must be my Russian half talking (family legend has
it that a great grandfather of mine was a Cossack).
LISA LOISELLE
In article <19961203145...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
The whole bar-code implant idea is just *far* too Book of Revelations for me.
Evil Dr. Lisa elects to pay IN CASH :)
Evile Dr. Lisa
...'The Father' of Unholy Trinity Inc.
Johnny T.
Speaking of implanted barcodes... we could all have those little
microchips implanted into the back of our neck (like Scully), and when
ever you entered a store, spa, etc., your position could be tracked.
Not to mention how you could pay in the grocery store (Your total is
$11.21, will that be cash or neck scan today? (A quick swipe of the
red light)) Just poking a little fun.
John Turner
-District Attorney for X-Ville
-Special Agent for the X-Ville FBI (hey, it could happen)
(jtu...@jeffnet.org)
Rex MacKenzie
I haven't been following this thread so I don't know if anyone
has mentioned the following...
But, for loose change, why not stick with Canadian currency?
We have LOONIEs and TWOONIEs [the one dollar and two dollar
coins] and considering what the Canadian Dollar is worth...
CANADIAN TIRE Money has more value!
Alan Hurshman
Rex MacKenzie <br...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in article
<586skq$o...@freenet-news.carleton.ca>...
>
> But, for loose change, why not stick with Canadian currency?
> We have LOONIEs and TWOONIEs [the one dollar and two dollar
> coins] and considering what the Canadian Dollar is worth...
> CANADIAN TIRE Money has more value!
Canadian Tire money has to be part of the
X-Ville currency exchange. The bills are far
better looking than US bills but weigh less
than the Canadian Loonies. Where else can
you get folding nickles and dimes?
BTW, X-Ville also needs a men's lodge. Something
like the setup on Red Green. We could have
someone come in and give a course on the
art and history of duct tape. Go to the lake
and fish for empties. Guy stuff.
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Alan Hurshman (alan...@demosys.gcomm.com) wrote:
: Rex MacKenzie <br...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in article
Canadian Tire money IS Canadian currency. We just give that other shit to
the banks and tourists. I like the Possum Lodge idea, but I suggest we
replace Possum with Rat (or possible Ratboy). If y'all can find someone
to be our fearless leader, I'd be glad to join.
--
--The Paulverizer
X-Ville's:
Owner/Bartender--Puffy's Saloon
Atheist Minister--Church conveniently located at the bar in Puffy's;
all are welcome
Rent-A-Cop--HOME Asylum
My other .sig is a Rolls Royce
Pamela T. Pon
LISA LOISELLE <l_l...@alcor.concordia.ca> wrote:
> At the tender age of 15, I bastardized most of the libretto to
>'Les Miserables', did a number on 'Phantom' at 16, and 'Jesus Christ
>Superstar' at 17. A small sampling:
>
>'On my own, pretending he's inside me....'
A child prodigy! I only managed to do one verse of LES MIZ at around age
25 (you know how those brain cells start to go):
[After Marius sings
"Empty Chairs at Empty
Tables," Cosette tries
to cheer him up]: "A heart full of love;
I'm here, I'm Cosette --
Forget that male-bonding shit!
I'm here, right now,
Unlike your alcoholic pals.
Can *they* do this?"
[She kisses Marius with gusto.]
[Marius, stunned]: "Bloody Hell!"
[Cosette, to audience]: "Our first kiss."
*** pamela pon p...@best.com {very behind on e-mail; please POST replies} ***
Support DUE SOUTH! Write Alliance,920 Yonge St,Toronto,Ontario,Canada M4W 3C7
Support SPACE: ABOVE & BEYOND! Write FOX, Box 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90213
***** Ride Forever **** Do or Die **** Thank you kindly **** SEMPER FI *****
Alan Hurshman
pwe...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote in article
<589tr5$7lu$1...@news.sas.ab.ca>...
>
> Canadian Tire money IS Canadian currency. We just give that other shit
to
> the banks and tourists. I like the Possum Lodge idea, but I suggest we
> replace Possum with Rat (or possible Ratboy). If y'all can find
someone
> to be our fearless leader, I'd be glad to join.
Well, maybe we could go for Beaver Lodge.
Yeah, thats the ticket. Beaver Lodge.....
After all, the beaver is the Canadian symbol.
And they do have a great tail. (Oh jeez, I think
my vulgarity gene just kicked in....)
We will all have to get the suspenders.
And the Red hat. And duct tape. Rolls and
rolls of duct tape. Now who to lead the lodge
and dream up our secret symbols? I think
we need a volunteer. Someone willing to
stay sober enough to do the beer runs and
who also knows the lore and wisdom of
the red flannel shirt.