NEW: Quotes: You Came (1/1)
sqira a.
Author: sqira a.
Classification: VRA
Keywords: MSR
Content Warning: PG-13
Summary: Forever is a long time.
Spoiler Warning: Nope. Nada.
Distribution Statement: Sure. Cooler still if I know where.
Feedback: Loved, loved, loved, at sq...@notme.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, except the story.
Author's Note: Any errors contained herein are strictly my own.
My thanks to Heather; who read it and betaed it. Thank you.
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Mulder.
Scully... you're shivering.
It's just the wind. You came.
I wouldn't miss it for the world. You look--
I know, puffed.
No, beautiful. I'm not the first to say that huh?
No. But your opinion matters most.
Aww Scully. Don't do that.
Why not? It's the truth. You haven't seen me a while.
I know. I've been... busy--
Avoiding me.
No. I'm not. I'm aware of what's going on. I know you called. It just
doesn't seem right, you know.
Oh, come on Mulder. You knew I would never call otherwise. This is not
easy for me.
I can see that. If it was, you wouldn't be here. Talking to me.
I know you, despite what you choose to believe. I knew you would come. You
did.
Yeah well, I'm giftless *and* suitless. Are you sure you're okay with
that?
It's okay. I'm sure to get some later. Your presence is more than a gift
to me. You're enough.
You're welcome, Scully.
I miss you. I still do.
And I you, Scully. It's kind of late to be covering that ground now. We're
way past that now.
Mulder?
Scully, why am I here? I *know* why you're here, but I'm not sure about my
presence yet.
I'm not sure... whether I want to do this.
Scully? You're yanking my chain right?
Would I call you for anything less?
No.
So, tell me. Why do I still feel, *this*?
I don't know Scully. Mind explaining to me?
I can't do this, Mulder. I can't give myself to someone else again. How
can I do this, when I have given my all before, with nothing left to give
now? I have nothing to offer, Mulder. Not anymore. Why am I doing this?
Scully, look at me.
Mulder, I can't--
Can't what? Can't end this day as it is expected?
Yes.
Why? Is this why I'm really here for?
Someone I love is not there, Mulder.
Scully, I'll always be there. I'm just not that... accessible.
It will not be the same.
Nothing *is* the same, Scully.
It's so hard Mulder.
It's never as easy as they say, nor it is as hard. Life itself is a
constant change; throwing a curveball when you least expected it. But
there's relief in that realization too. That we will never know what comes
next. It might be bad, it might be good. We just have to take them head on
and hope for the best.
Wow. I never thought I would hear that from you.
Hey, it's not a bad life out here. I have lots of time to spend and plenty
of space to fill, and I realized a thing or two in those times.
Tell me one.
Okay. I realized that despite the changes in our lives, there are always
enough constants around to ground us, to last us through the day: I had my
sister and you have your faith and your science. We have never lose sight
of that, and in doing so, they guide us in whatever we do. We need them as
much as they needed us.
I wish I had shared any doubts of mine with you. You could have helped me
in ways that I could not.
Maybe I still can, Scully.
Hmmm, that'll be nice. I'll make sure that I have your stuff ready when
you stop by.
You still have them.
I know. I shouldn't have.
It's okay. It's just you shouldn't worry him.
He's not you. He'll understand.
No Scully, it's more than that. He's not me, but he's not anyone else
either.
I can't help but remember you.
He's a good man, Scully. He knows what he's in for. It's just, you're not
letting him in. You're making him wait by the door. *Still*. Let him in,
Scully.
I can't. You're still in there.
Then, let me out Scully. Let me go.
I can't. I, I don't think I want to.
Then why are you here Scully?
I don't know. Assurance? Insurance perhaps?
You're stalling, Agent.
Tell me what to do.
I won't. I never have. It's time you realized that. All this while, it had
been you and me. We never made decisions alone, or for the other. We went
through everything together. Did you do that with him?
Grocery shopping, lunches.
God, I really miss your sense of humor.
I miss yours more.
Scully...
I don't know, Mulder. This feels so wrong. I, I don't think I'm ready.
Mulder?
I'm here. Then maybe you aren't. Maybe you're not ready.
Yeah...
I just, I just... Mulder, I *miss* you. So much.
Scully, we can't keep doing this to ourselves. It'll hurt too much--
I still can't sleep at night.
Can't or won't?
Not without you. What if, what if I join you--
No! How could you even?! God Scully...
I know, I know. I thought about it, you know, but it's not enough. What we
had was never enough. It's not fair.
Scully, everything that we had was more than enough. The memories are
here, in my mind, in my heart... in yours too. I have everyone of them
here, Scully, they're not going anywhere. I remember, all the time.
So do I...
They are more than enough, especially when I think of how there wouldn't
be any of them, any of them at all if--
If we didn't happen. But we sure took our time, didn't we?
Yeah, but time well spent I say. We got where we wanted to be.
And we are still there, Mulder. Still there.
I'm sorry, Scully. It's really lonely out here too, you know. Never doubt
for a moment that I rather be anywhere, but with you.
You're here now. It's all that matters.
You've picked a good church.
The one closest to you. Even then, you're still late.
Traffic, Scully.
Sure, I *believe* you. Hold-up at Capitol Hill?
No, Saint Peter's.
Ah, you *can* be nice.
Well, I try. Um, what happens now, Scully? I didn't spoil it, did I?
No. I guess I have known this for a very long time, but I never actually
listened to it. That small voice in my head. I should have; it wouldn't
have got so big then.
Are you sure about this? It could turn out badly for everyone, especially
that brother of yours.
Positive. Besides, he can't hurt you now.
But he *can* hurt you, Scully.
Doesn't matter. I'm strong, remember?
*You* remember that. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Mulder?
Hmmm?
Think you visit me more often now?
Do you want me to? I don't think that's normal behavior, Scully.
Dana Scully, MD. *Retired* FBI agent. Research assistant, now Runaway
Bride. That's normal? Looks like your weirdness is rubbing off on me.
You make it sound like it's a bad thing.
Hey, you don't see me complaining. This day is not going to end the way I
thought it would be.
Hey, you never know. You might just get a mailbox full of eligible men
waiting for you when you get home. If you ask nicely, I might even do a
little *spooking* for you.
Nah. I won't share you with anyone, *especially* with men I don't know.
You want to know the truth, Mulder?
Have I not always?
I can't see myself with any other man but you. I die before I could.
Scully--
No--I might be crazy, I may well be insane--but I know you feel the same
way too.
Scul--it doesn't matter now. I can't be with you, remember? I can't.
You are now.
Did I do this to you? Is it me; making you think like this?
As if.
Now you're going Valley-Girl on me.
Hey, as I recall, *you* chose the movie, not me.
Scully... you can't do this forever. Forever is a long time.
Then I'll wait. A hundred, even a thousand years. Now that I found you
here.
Scully--
Shush. Just let me see you for a while longer.
Scully, as much as I love staying with you here, you're making the others
wait. Think they should know the truth by now?
I guess. I better go. You'll come by right?
I will. You can count on it. You know what to do, Scully. You always have.
I have the strength of your beliefs.
And I have you. No one loves you more than me--
--And no one ever will, Mulder.
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She felt a cold brush on her lips, fleeting yet burned hotly in the frigid
wind. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it quickly, bringing the
salty wetness onto her fingers. She bent forward and traced his name with
them. The touch nearly broke her, and she leaned her forehead against the
cool headstone, hoping that it would give her the strength she needed.
She left soon after, head high as she walked against the wind, away from
him. She didn't look back and surged forward, stronger, more loved than
ever.
Behind her, a bouquet of babybreaths laid on the ground. There, in its
midst, enveloped and solitary, it stood; its blossoms rich with velvet
cloths of holy whites, and its yellow stamens shone brightly, like starry
diamonds in the night.
The flower of Adonis. *Hyacinthus*. In memory of the slain lover who gave
up his life.
So that his love, lived.
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If a thing loves, it is infinite.
- William Blake
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Last writes: I apologize for not forewarning *his* death. I think, the
effect will be lost somehow.
Thank you for reading.
Scribendi cacoethes
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