"Survivor All-Stars" episode 05 rant
Mojo
"Night of the Colbster"
"To Blur and Blur No More"
"CBS Execs Breathe Sigh of Relief"
Richard: "I think we'll win. And if we don't, who cares? There's a lot of
people we gotta get rid of."
WARNING: The following rant contains material inappropriate for myopic,
ignorant, trollish, cantankerous, idolatrous, boorish, obtuse wingnut
viewers. Dumbass discretion is advised.
Day 13. Apparently, not much happened last night.
Or else the cameraman fell asleep. Or his conscience woke up.
Maybe Rob and Slutber don't like to get it on without an audience that takes
notes. Whatever.
Ok, I'm not being fair. Why does Rob get to be Bahsten Rob while Amber is
stuck with "Slutber"? Well, maybe that's because of her confessionals
behavior. "Bahsten Dawg"? "The Dogfather?" *sigh* Snoop already took all the
good names, didn't he. Bastard.
The Robfather sure did have it in for Mastermind Cesternino, didn't he? And
he seems to have his sights set on other guys, as well. Ethan, Colby. All
the fine young cannibal sex machines, all pins lined up for Bowling Ball
Rob. How dare they be prettier than he! He'll show them....he'll show them
all!! Rob's going to rule Chapped Hair and win "All-Stars" if he has to win
every single (team) challenge by himself.
Then maybe he can score a Survivor Hottie with an I.Q. that's something
higher than room temperature.
Everyone gets a load of bamboo and some rope.
Oh please, pleasePleasePLEASE somebody use theirs to build one of those
"Deer Hunter" VC torture cages, and stick Hatch in it. Anything to get rid
of that ever-growing blur.
Thank you, ever-increasingly skittish CBS executives. Thank you, Janet
Jackson.
Okay, they're supposed to build rafts for a competition.
Jerri: "Apparently we're building a pontoon boat, a catamaran, possibly? I'm
not sure." Jerri, sweetie, a pontoon is a support structure, like for a
bridge or a dock. Something where, oh, say, speed is not an issue. You know,
like in a _competition_. And catamarans usually have sails, fer cryin' out
loud! Do you see any sails, Jerri?
All I see are dumbasses.
As in Dumbass Rupert, designing yet another structure we all just know is
bound to fail. Hard-working, expert-with-a-spear fisherman? Yes. Creative,
spatial-design and construction genius? No. And then there's Dumbass Jenna
and Dumbass Ethan, who appear (yet again) to be along for the ride. At least
Whiny Dumbass Jerri complains about the situation. Infortunately for So
Bogus, she confines her criticism to the confessionals. Why? Afraid to
confront Hagrid? Couldn't give a rat's ass? Would rather lose than be stuck
with these lumps for another week? Maybe Jerri's just a wee bit upset that
she's not in the "cool" tribe.
The Magoos solve their design problem by, umm, tying the bamboo bundles
together and making them into one, long, umm, banana. Yeah, that's the
ticket. It's a Richard design. Maybe he was thinking about his luxury item
(Colby)? Well, at least it really really floats, which is more than I can
say for So Bogus's Rupertimmobile.
Rupert, if the raft is already underwater with just you and Ethan on it, how
the hell do you expect to paddle the damn thing? Oh, never mind...
WARNING: The following scene contains whiny, bitchy, slurring, drunken
Americans. Kids, do not try this at home. Canadians, please stop laughing.
Temperance discretion is advised.
Chapped Hair's raft doesn't look to be much better. Alicia likes the design,
however, and thinks it will win them the challenge.
Big Boozed-up Tom: "I say 'nice rack'. Ahh, '_raft_'." Yeah, it's nice on
the island, away from the wife, huh Tom. Sitting at home, I bet she just
bonked you with a frying pan, didn't she.
Alicia, pointing to the large bottle of demon alcohol next to Tom:
"What...have you been drinking??"
Tom: "No, I...I said 'rack' when I meant 'breasts'. I mean, I said 'RAFT'
when I meant 'creamychocolatenipplegoodness'. No, wait! Ahdidnmeenthadt!"
Bonk bonk bonk. Looking at Bahsten Rob's waterbed raft, "Thasthuh
bessbuilthing sinss Alicia!" BONK. It's the doghouse sofa for you, Tom.
Good thing Tom won that Tylenol game this week.
Snakes n' Rats Sue: "If I had to vote anyone out now, it'd be Tom. He's a
stupid drunk. Stupid klutzy drunk. Stupid klutzy moron big shoulders
towering presence o-why-won't-he-notice-meeee drunk. I don't like him at
all. I don't think his sexual innuendos are funny. Besides looks, youth,
torpedoes, and cameramen falling over themselves trying to get "morning dew"
shots, what've Amber and Alicia got that I haven't? If I saw Tom, laying in
the desert and dying of thirst, I wouldn't give him the sweat off my...
well, maybe just a little. Why won't he notice me? I hate him."
So now you've pissed off Sue. Who's got to be, what, your wife's age, Tom?
You are sooo dead.
"I hate him so much I christened the raft by pissing on it. Tonight I'm
gonna christen that bottle of whiskey, and Tom's bed."
bubblebubblegurglegurgle
Tom: "Yewchrissned th' raft? Why, tha mus' beh pueer grain licker! Ah coulda
drunk that! Yew hag... thas gon' make a hole inth' driffwood! It'd rot any
woodahno! I'm 'fraid tha shep's gon' sink now..."
"Ah crissen this raff th' Susie Kewww, in hon'r uh me ol' laydeee Sewwww!"
Tom just changed his name to Captain Hazelwood of the Exxon Valdez Panama
raft.
Reward Challenge: Whatever Floats Your Boat. Hey Jeff, if we leave Richard
out there on one of those floating boxes, can we just forfeit the game and
go back to camp? Please?
WARNING: The following scene contains geeky comic book and television
references. Readers born after 1980 may wish to begin scratching their heads
now. Dumbass rafting discretion is advised.
The reward: The Poseidon Trident, which transforms meek, mild, beard
salesman and failed design student Hagrid into...Aquaking, Savior of the
starving survivors! Oh, and some more clues to the ricebox keys for the
Magoos and So Boguses. (Gee, I wonder how the rice held up during those
violent storms we saw last week? Oh well, it's all sealed in a box, right?
I'm sure nothing happened to it...) And some fishing hooks, lures, and line,
in case Robfather and Amberslut want to get reel kinky and play "Hellraiser
and Bondage Girl" later on tonight.
Jeff tells everyone that the losingest tribe will be dissolved.
In acid.
A large vat of green, boiling goo is wheeled out.
How will Colbster, Hagrid, Amberslut, Ginger, and the rest, get out of this
one? Will the Poseidon Trident become the Poseidon Adventure? If Richard
Hatch is dissolved in acid, will we see a tiny Jonny Fairplay hiding inside,
working the controls? Find out in the next thrilling episode of "That's
Incredibly Dumbass!!"
Jeff: "The dissolved tribemembers will be absorbed by the remaining tribes.
Like amoebas. They are not of The Body. They do not serve Landru. They will
be ab-zorbed." Oh well, at least no one's going away hungry...
As they begin the competition, Rupert gets a lil' plumbercrack blur of his
own. Aww... another pet for ol' Hagrid. But seriously, CBS? What, now we
can't even see a lil' plumber's crack? Come on, Timberlake's not even in
this episode!
Jeff mentions how beautiful the So Bogus raft is. How sleek, how svelte, how
scrumptuous, how...slow. I'm talking Jessica Simpson slow. And it doesn't
help any that Rupert can't even manage to pull his flag out of a box now.
I'm tellin' ya, brain parasites. Denebian slime devils. Fox News Channel
wingnuts. Eating away, bit by bit...
The Magoos are so far ahead they stop for lunch with their casting agents
before crossing the finish line.
So Bogus is so far behind they're losing delegates to Al Sharpton. Their
raft dissolves in the acid vat.
Richard gets Rupert's trusty spear. The Magoos pick Ethan (so they can get
rid of him first, says Colby, with Kathy agreeing) to join their tribe. So,
does Colby want to get rid of the past winners first, using Ethan to lull
Richard into a false sense of complacency? Or is he just in the Anybody But
Jerri camp, and figures Ethan will best help them win challenges? He
probably realized it was easier to argue for Ethan than against Jerri.
Chapped Hair takes Rupert. Well, at least he won't have to design anything
anymore. Maybe he'll pick up a few design tips from Robfather.
The Magoos take Jerri. I'm betting it wasn't Colby's idea.
I know both tribes now have rice (some) and whisky and all, but don't the
Magoos (Richard nonwithstanding) look rather lean and scrawny, compared to
Chapped Hair? Naahhh, it probably doesn't matter.
Colby (o lord, I typed "Coolby" by mistake lol) explains they chose Ethan to
determine how long he stays in the game, and Jerri because (he thinks) no
one has bonded with her. So they are both on the outside looking in. I'm
only typing this for future reference, when Ethan and Jerri form an alliance
and kick Colby off the island.
Ethan and Jerri check out the Magoo camp. Ethan is impressed by the long
distance savings Shii Ann got by switching coconut phone carriers. Jerri
climbs up to the balcony bedroom and flashes Colby. Colby runs and hides
behind Richard's blur, which is getting bigger.
Jerri: "I don't miss So Bogus at all. Not even a little." Well, let's see.
Aside from rearranging the roof fronds, arguing with Rupert, and...umm, what
else did you do there? Whine and complain to the cameras? How many
challenges did you win, Jerri? How many fish did you catch? Yeah, you're all
smiles and hugs now. What'll happen after you lose a challenge or two here
in Magooland? You know, these guys do tend to come in second a lot. And now,
"second" means Tribal Council.
WARNING: The following statement contains a blindingly obvious prediction.
Head-slapping discretion is advised.
Jerri will find something new to bitch and whine about next week.
Jenna tells us that she was the So Bogus mastermind, and determined all of
their TC votes. Y'know, Jenna, not something I'd really want to take credit
for. She complains that her first thirteen days were wasted, because she's
no longer in control. Jenna, here's a hint: be flexible. You and Rupert
should quickly determine what the dominant alliance is (especially since
they're giggling as they spoon each night), form a counter-alliance and vote
Hunter and his Gang of Four back to Marquesas lol.
Rupert checks out the Chapped Hair swing. Hmmm, what could Rupert be
thinking?
"This thing looks brittle. Better not sit on it."
"Wow, while we were drowning in my underwater Morgan Log Cabin, these guys
were building a playground."
"If I designed a swing, I'd make it out of rock. Rocks are sturdy."
WARNING: Starving dumbass behavior ahead. Sally Struthers alert now in
effect.
The Magoos find their third key and open the ricebox. Which is soaked. Oops.
So, who was in charge of making sure the rice was dry? Hmmm, now who might
want to ruin the rice? Maybe someone who felt he was secure only so long as
he was God of Fishing? Now I'm not pointing a finger (that's Alicia's job),
but Hatch's blur just turned beet red.
Ethan catches a fish. Ethan catches a fish. He poked it real good with the
spear. Ethan just made Richard very, very expendable. See Richard seethe.
Seethe, Richard, seethe. Richard's blur is boiling. Boil, boil, toil and
trouble. Unique no more, now there's double. Once had class, now dumbass.
Ethan's time, Richard's whine, Jeri and Colby means fightin' time!
WARNING: Eye-gouging comment ahead. Xander alert now in effect.
Kathy, looking at Richard: "My god, look at the fish you've got. It's huge."
Ethan's jaw drops. Sorry, Ethan. Richard already promised his fish to Colby.
;)
WARNING: do not drink anything during the following scene, or else risk
spitting it back up through your nose. Asexual discretion is advised.
Immunity Challenge: Holy Pilfering Pirates, Batman!
Richard: "I think we'll win. And if we don't, who cares? There's a lot of
people we gotta get rid of." Richard just changed his name to Lotta Peeple.
Amberslut "loses" her balance on the beam, then lifts her leg way Way WAY up
high over her head to regain it. Interesting strategy, except that: a, the
closest people to see it are Sue and Jenna, who don't seem to be interested;
and b, the camera is over here, Amber.
Plank Battle #1: Bahsten Rob vs. Ethan. Rob stopped at the plank and waited
for Ethan to show. Rob could have gone around, or not waited, but he's just
got to show everyone what a big tough guy he is. He's starting to remind me
of a mid-70's Robert Blake. What an ass. Ok, so Ethan shows up, Rob lunges
at him, they both fall into the water, with Rob landing first (and losing),
but Ethan hitting his head on the edge. Interesting strategy. Lose each
round, while knocking your opponents senseless in the process? Is Rob that
creative?
Plank Battle #2: Richard vs. Jenna. "Have you ever heard the story of David
vs. Goliath?", Jenna asks. no, but if you tickle Richard just right, I bet
he'll let you pass. Thank God he's wearing shorts this time. Jenna leans
down, grabs Richard, they fall in, Jenna loses. Hmmm, maybe Crouching
Dumbass isn't the winning strategy in this game.
Plank Battle #3: Robb With Two B's vs. Clay. "Aaaaaaaaiiiiiiii!!!!"
Plank Battle #4: ...oh lord, Richard's naked. And here comes Sue. This
cannot be good.
Tom loses his balance, falls, but catches himself on the Battle Plank. I
think Tom just won another Tylenol Pain award.
Plank Battle #4: Big Tom vs. Ethan: Ethan gets low, grabs Tom, they fall,
Ethan hits first. See? Losing strategy.
Non-Plank Battle #1: Naked Richard vs. Sue. "Oh baby." "Want some, baby?"
"Want some?" My eyes! My eyes! (What did Sue say to taunt Richard just
before the encounter?"Your pee ain't red no more!"? The drums were too loud,
and I couldn't make it out.) Oh lord, is he actually rubbing up against her?
Poor Kathy, stuck on the plank with Sue.
Jeff: "Come on, guys! Nobody cares about that stuff!" Yeah, nobody except
Congress, the FTC, Bush (who probably thinks it is a problem worse than
steroid use), and Fox News (who will try and tie it in with gay marriage and
blame the whole thing on John "Clinton" Kerry.)
And this is what those stupid "Advisories" were all about? Richard's blur
bumping up against Sue? Really, CBS needs to calm down. It was such a little
thing.
Plank Battle #5: Bahsten Rob vs. Colby. Oh goody, another chance for Rob to
show all the Survivor Hotties what they've been missing. Namely, a crass
Neanderthal with all the couth of thrown feces. Rob goes low, but manages to
make Colby hit the water first. Ok, so Rob's a Cro Magnon. At least he's
learning.
Rob: "Colby? Yeah...*snort*...he's not as tough as you think, ladies."
*chortle* (sniffs armpit hair) Geez, whatta jerk. He and Slutber really
deserve each other.
Chapped Hair adopts a new strategy: let the psycho Cro Magnon win it for us.
Half because he's playing out of his head, and half because, well, the rest
of them are having trouble with the balance thing, Rupert. And Sue may still
be traumatized from her Close Encounter.
Plank Battle #6: Bahsten Rob vs. Kathy. Kathy's initial strategy is great
(sitting down on the beam), but she dumbasses it up by taking the fight to
Rob. He grabs her as she's leaping forward and tosses her aside. She should
have waited him out. Of course, while everyone was focused on them, no one
noticed Frodo and Sam slipping quietly through Mordor, or Amber bringing
home the 19th flag. Rob brings the final flag, sending the Magoos to TC.
Guess we get to see if Colby really wants to vote off Ethan.
Sue: "I hope they vote off Richard. What he did to me, that was totally
uncalled for." Yeah, because you didn't taunt him at all, did you, Sue? Just
like you didn't start in last week, saying he didn't have any meat for you.
Yeah, you're just the soft, innocent little lamb here. If this is what you
and Jeff start yelling about next week, I hope he tears you a new one.
For once, and I do mean once, I wish Jonny Foreskin was here, just to have
it out with Sue in front of everyone.
Shii Ann: "We lost the challenge, and, uh, it was a blow. I really like our
tribe, and now we have to go to Tribal. So, the game is on. For the first
time at Mogo Mogo, the game is really on." You know, Shii (may I call you
Shii? No? Too bad.), you really need to work on your quotes. Nobody talks
like that. Nobody. Well, maybe Sherlock Holmes. Not that I'm comparing.
Colby changes his mind. He tells Ethan that Richard is "the cancer in this
tribe." Well, at least Kathy didn't say it this time. Then Colby/Ethan/Lex
(the reincarnated Boran Boys Club) bring in Jerri. "It doesn't make any
sense for me to team up with three guys who are then going to kick my ass in
every challenge afterwards." So of course Jerri agrees to their plan.
Personally, I think Colby wants Richard gone now because, wel, Colby's fed
up with being looked at like Sunday's roast. (Maybe her prefers being looked
at like a piece of cheese?)
Lex brings Kathy in. Unfortunately, Richard's acolyte Shii Ann is there as
well. Three guesses where Shii Ann runs to next. S'matter, Lex? Couldn't you
get to Kathy when she was alone? Or did you assume everyone hated Richard as
much as you do?
Shii Ann tries to work on Kathy, but it sounds half-hearted. I think Shii
Ann knows how to count.
Jerri tells Kathy she wants Colby gone. But didn't Lex just tell Kathy that
Jerri agreed to their plan? And didn't Jerri indeed tell Colby/Ethan/Lex
that she's on board? What, Jerri thinks Kathy won't compare notes with Lex?
Jerri, you're so worried about getting screwed over again, but shouldn't
everyone else feel that way about you right now? Aren't you screwing
yourself right now? They're all set on Richard; what makes you think they'll
suddenly switch to Colby on your (outsider) say so?
Kathy is worried about Colby's unilateralism. Well, after all, he _is_ a
Texan...and hey, worst-case scenario is you, Jerri, and Shii Ann team up,
form the Magoo Girls Club and target Colby next time. There goes Mr.
Unilateral, Jerri gets her revenge, and Shii Ann avenges Richard. Of course,
you would need a tiebreaker, or a defector...
Jerri goes to Richard and Shii Ann, tells them she was approached, and
suggests Colby instead. Jerri, consumed with hate, blinded by revenge.
You'll be lucky if they don't all gang up on your Judas butt next week.
Hey, Richard? What do you want them to carve onto your tombstone?
Richard: "How dare you approach somebody to get rid of me? You must go
bye-bye now." Okay.
Kathy thinks she's the swing vote. "So do you trust your gut, do you trust
loyalty, or do you just go with sort of what makes sense?" I think I'd sort
of go with the majority on this one, Kath. Do you really want to keep
Richard around? Hasn't he annoyed everyone enough by now? Hasn't Ethan made
Richard's big contribution a tad redundant? Aren't Ethan and Colby easier to
control than Richard?
Tribal Council.
Ethan: "Hey, I'm just happy to be here." Translation: wow, I'm in a tribe
where someone else has a bigger target on their back than mine! Hey, maybe
two people!
Richard: "I have no target on my back." Oh, sorry, that must be a Wal Mart
then.
Jeff: "What are you basing your vote on tonight?"
Colby: "Cuttin' out the cancer." Enough with the cancer remarks already!!
Here's how they voted:
Ethan (votes for Richard): "Hopefully this will close that Hatch. He causes
too much trouble. It's scary. Talks to too many people. Stirs too much stuff
up. It's time to get you out of here."
Shii Ann (votes for Richard!): "What a good team we would have made. Too bad
for you that you were too duplicitous for anyone to trust. I'm sorry but you
made your own grave and now you have to lie in it. Sorry Rich, I tried to
save you."
Ricard (votes for Colby): "So bad. Yes, it does come to this. I certainly
thought we could have taken it really far in this game. But that shifting
and swaying today was pretty obvious. And it definitely isn't going to suit
me to have you wandering back and forth between teams. You had a great time.
You really could have trusted me. I was on your side. I know that's hard to
believe, but it's true. It's kind of the way I play. Good luck."
Jerri (votes for Richard): "Wow! All I gotta say is the last hour before we
got here, I've never seen somebody scramble about so frantically in my
entire life. You showed me how truly evil you are in this game. And that to
me is a huge threat."
Lex (votes for Richard): "Well, it looks like you're a wandering pony, after
all. In this game, you're all played out. See ya on the other side, man."
Colby (votes for Richard): "Hatch, you're a hell of a player. And you almost
had me convinced I could trust ya. But my gut told me not to. I'm not going
to. And tonight, it's either me or you going home. Best of luck."
Kathy (votes for Richard): "Hatch, you old coot. You talked about trust and
I never felt it. You talked about loyalty and you never showed it. I know
you were working deals on both sides. From a lot of tribe people, they told
me all about it. So I think you have the Final three worked out in several
different ways. Too bad, too, because I liked ya. You fell to the realtor.
Have fun on the outside. See ya!"
Finally.
Next week: Colby exposes the Shii Devil for the lazy hanger-on she really
is! Shii Ann says Captain America has good teeth blah blah blah! She rolls
her eyes! (Hmmm, maybe she goes before Jerri?) And Sue shows us how happy
she is to see Richard gone by telling Jeff in no uncertain terms that she
was humiliated and totally spent! (Wow, who peed on her raft?)
Okay, I gotta include this bit. I found it on the CBS "Early Show" site. I
guess I should be watching on Thursday mornings for "Survivor" analysis.
Here's this week's:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/02/26/earlyshow/series/survivor/printable602355.shtml
Bye, Tribe
NEW YORK, Feb. 26, 2004
On Thursday night's "Survivor: All-Stars," there is a lot riding on a reward
challenge that will trim the number of tribes, reports co-anchor Harry Smith
of The Early Show. To offer some analysis of the game, he was joined by
Vecepia Towery Robinson, the winner of "Survivor: Marquesas," and Dalton
Ross, a writer for Entertainment Weekly magazine.
Vecepia, incidentally, is one of three "Survivor" winners who was not
invited back to "All-Stars." (She hosts a cable TV show in the San Francisco
Bay area that focuses on game analysis.) Harry wanted to know why they
didn't ask her back.
"I'm just going to be straight up: They hated on me," Vecepia replied. "I
got an initial phone call, like everybody. But that's all I heard from them.
I don't know what the deal was. Some people said I was not memorable enough
for them. Who knows?"
Vecepia addressed the idea that she did not have enough "attitude,"
referring to a column by Teresa Wiltz of The Washington Post, which begins:
"If you've ever seen a reality TV show, chances are you've seen her: a
perpetually perturbed, tooth-sucking, eye-rolling, finger-wagging harpy,
creating confrontations in her wake and perceiving racial slights from the
flimsiest of provocations. At the very sight of her, her cast mates tremble
in fear. And no wonder. She's the Sista With an Attitude."
Said Vecepia, "Why do our sistas have to have attitude? Not everybody has to
have an attitude. You can be nice. They didn't want any spirituality out
there, especially with 'The Passion of the Christ' coming out."
>snipped<
--------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, Vee, they hated on you. And no, you were indeed memorable enough. If
you weren't, they wouldn't have hated on you. (See how that goes?) And you
weren't merely hated, you were despised. But hey, maybe I don't despise you
now as much as I do, oh, say, Onomatopoeia over on "The Apprentice", but
yeah, there's definitely a "Sista With an Attitude" factor.
And no, I don't think Mark Burnett makes casting decisions based on movie
release dates. But you go right on thinking that, if it'll keep you warm at
night. And you know what? You're right. Not everybody has to have an
attitude. Think about it.
Mojo
di
> "The Magoos Close Their Hatch"
> "Night of the Colbster"
> "To Blur and Blur No More"
> "CBS Execs Breathe Sigh of Relief"
>
> So Bogus is so far behind they're losing delegates to Al Sharpton.
Mojo, any chance you are posting rants about "The Apprentice"? If so,
where?
Wubba
"Mojo" <GoAwa...@Home.com> wrote in message
news:QHL%b.11806$aT1....@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
>
> Jerri: "Apparently we're building a pontoon boat, a catamaran, possibly?
I'm
> not sure." Jerri, sweetie, a pontoon is a support structure, like for a
> bridge or a dock. Something where, oh, say, speed is not an issue. You
know,
> like in a _competition_. And catamarans usually have sails, fer cryin' out
> loud! Do you see any sails, Jerri?
Jerri was making fun of Rupert. Rupert suggested building pontoons, and said
the word catamaran. Your anger is misplaced.
Mojo
"di" <no_...@home.com> wrote in message
news:103v61h...@corp.supernews.com...
Noooooooo! I need to get _some_ sleep on Thursdays!
Douglas Berry
called by some "Mojo" <GoAwa...@Home.com> came forth and told this
tale in alt.tv.survivor
>"The Magoos Close Their Hatch"
>"Night of the Colbster"
>"To Blur and Blur No More"
>"CBS Execs Breathe Sigh of Relief"
WARNING: Reading the rant while eating will result in swearing and
needing to clean the monitor, keyboard, and your shirt. Culinary
discretion is advised.
Great one as usual, Mojo.
--
Douglas E. Berry Do the OBVIOUS thing to send e-mail
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as
when they do it from religious conviction."
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pense'es, #894.
Steve W.
>Non-Plank Battle #1: Naked Richard vs. Sue. "Oh baby." "Want some, baby?"
>"Want some?" My eyes! My eyes! (What did Sue say to taunt Richard just
>before the encounter?"Your pee ain't red no more!"? The drums were too loud,
>and I couldn't make it out.) Oh lord, is he actually rubbing up against her?
I thought she said, "Your peeing right in the water." Making me think
that naked Richard peed, right there in front of everyone.
Steve W.
SeaShel
I have to say, though, I did think of you at the end of last night's
Apprentice when, once again, DT says, "That was a tough one..." and Carolyn
comes back with, "It wasn't so tough [for me?]." Hilarious!
Hey, maybe there's some kind of financial kickback involved everytime
someone says the word "tough". Glad trash bags? Eveready batteries?
Or Paul Rubens has teamed up the Donald and they deemed it the Word of the
Boardroom.
:)
--
Michelle
(SeaShel)
free the fish to reply
Steve W.
>Hey, maybe there's some kind of financial kickback involved everytime
>someone says the word "tough". Glad trash bags? Eveready batteries?
>
>Or Paul Rubens has teamed up the Donald and they deemed it the Word of the
>Boardroom.
Did everybody scream real loud?
Steve W.
SeaShel
> "The Magoos Close Their Hatch"
> "Night of the Colbster"
> "To Blur and Blur No More"
> "CBS Execs Breathe Sigh of Relief"
>
>
> Sewwww!"
> Tom just changed his name to Captain Hazelwood of the Exxon Valdez
> Panama
> raft.
Good one!
>
>
They are not of The Body. They do not serve Landru.
> They will
> be ab-zorbed."
> Denebian slime devils.
Great Star Trek references!
(touched off this memory)
My favorite aunt and her favorite aunt went to the very first ST convention
in NYC back in the 70s. They went as the hooded figures in that episode.
My great aunt's 84 now, and lives in a studio room/suite in the "cruise
ship" (care home) as her twin JFK look-alike sons call it. She still reads
Asimov, Heinlein, and lately Harry Potter; says you shouldn't tickle
children because it makes them laugh against their will (???), let her five
kids watercolor paint on her legs in the summertime, and at Christmastime,
used to make killer rum balls and hang the starship Enterprise from one of
her ceiling beams. Good times.
> Yeah, Vee, they hated on you. And no, you were indeed memorable
> enough. If
> you weren't, they wouldn't have hated on you. (See how that goes?)
> And you
> weren't merely hated, you were despised. But hey, maybe I don't
> despise you
> now as much as I do, oh, say, Onomatopoeia over on "The Apprentice",
> but
> yeah, there's definitely a "Sista With an Attitude" factor.
A truer parallel you could not find. I still think Om's rear was saved
because she made better TV than Jessie.
Anyway, thanks again for another rant!
SeaShel
rofl
Invid Fan
Mojo <GoAwa...@Home.com> wrote:
> Richard: "I have no target on my back." Oh, sorry, that must be a Wal Mart
> then.
>
His laugh at the end of his remark told me he knew the target in fact
covered everything the blur didn't :)
--
Chris Mack "Refugee, total shit. That's how I've always seen us.
'Invid Fan' Not a help, you'll admit, to agreement between us."
-'Deal/No Deal', CHESS
Phoenix
says...
What a cool lady! Man, I wish I had some relatives like this.
>
>
> > Yeah, Vee, they hated on you. And no, you were indeed memorable
> > enough. If
> > you weren't, they wouldn't have hated on you. (See how that goes?)
> > And you
> > weren't merely hated, you were despised. But hey, maybe I don't
> > despise you
> > now as much as I do, oh, say, Onomatopoeia over on "The Apprentice",
> > but
> > yeah, there's definitely a "Sista With an Attitude" factor.
>
> A truer parallel you could not find. I still think Om's rear was saved
> because she made better TV than Jessie.
>
> Anyway, thanks again for another rant!
No kidding. I came back to this board just for Mojo's rants.
bel
>
> :)
>
>
poofy_puff
> The Robfather sure did have it in for Mastermind Cesternino, didn't he?
And
> he seems to have his sights set on other guys, as well. Ethan, Colby. All
> the fine young cannibal sex machines, all pins lined up for Bowling Ball
> Rob. How dare they be prettier than he! He'll show them....he'll show them
> all!! Rob's going to rule Chapped Hair and win "All-Stars" if he has to
win
> every single (team) challenge by himself.
He'll take 9th place leaving the 8 women to continue, then say "I came in
First Place out of all the men."
Michele