(long) Capsule: A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love (CABF18)
Benjamin Robinson
Simpsons Archive, at "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html". You may access it by
following the link for episode CABF18.
We plan to have "The Blunder Years (CABF21)" up next, on about April 20. (This
is subject to change due to schedule and resource demands, however.)
For your convenience, a copy the CABF18 capsule follows immediately. Enjoy!
A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Lance Kramer
==============================================================================
Production code: CABF18 Original Airdate on FOX: 2-Dec-2001
Capsule revision A (3-Apr-2004)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
[tvguide.com] Julia Louis-Dreyfus is the voice of Gloria, a comely cop who
catches the eye of Mr. Burns in this madcap romance. Thanks to a fortune
cookie (written by Homer) that says he'll find true love on a particular
day, Mr. Burns sets out for a night of "womanizing," much to Smithers'
dismay. He eventually meets Gloria, who agrees to a date but ultimately
finds the tycoon too old. Burns allays her fears by drafting Homer to
testify to his youthful rowdiness. The courtship commences, assisted by
Homer -- and a vial of a "rare and powerful" physical stimulant. When Mr.
Burns pops the question, a charmed Gloria accepts. But not everyone is
happy for the couple. {sb}
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard: FUN DOES NOT HAVE A SIZE
FUN DOES NOT HAVE at cutoff
Couch: The couch and TV are set up by a prison wall. A searchlight
pans left and right across the scene. The family burrows
under the ground towards the couch, leaving "tunnel mounds" in
their wake. They pop out of the ground, wearing striped
prison uniforms, and jump onto the couch. Shortly afterwards,
the searchlight finds and locks onto the family. [Recycled
from CABF12]
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
Matthew Anscher:
... the color seems to have returned to Woody Allen's face, as compared to
his last "appearance" in [BABF19]?
... all of Mr. Burns' so-called "wild man" schemes actually happened on
screen?
... either Cletus has had reconstructive surgery on his fingers since
[CABF14], or the animators forgot he had fingers missing?
... the scant three-day period between former guest star George Harrison's
death and a tribute to him on screen?
Don Del Grande:
... at the restaurant, there's no place setting for Maggie?
... apparently everybody (except possibly Maggie) knows how to use
chopsticks, although two spoons were on the table as well?
... the second fortune writer sounds like Khan from "King Of The Hill"?
... Burns got the name "Pennybags" right? ("Uncle Pennybags" really is the
"official" name of the Monopoly "tycoon")
... apparently Marge's mother doesn't have her original hair and teeth?
... judging from the large sign, Stu's Disco DOES advertise?
... one of the bowling trophies was a bowler on top of a bottle of Duff?
... the bowling alley had the video games Time Waster, Pong 95, and Nuke
Canada?
... bowling at Barney's New Bowlarama is still $1.75 a game, three games
for $5, or $5 an hour?
... Eddie gets shot? (Is this the first time one of the cops is actually
shot by somebody?)
... Marcia Mitzman-Gaven now includes a hyphen in her name? (Presumably so
people know to alphabetize it under M)
Alex Foley:
... Moe has an American flag?
... Smithers was not around during Burns's courtship of Gloria?
... Barney's Bowl-A-Rama has Pong?
Tony Hill:
... the Toys L Us store? [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
... Burns can remember Homer?
Darrel Jones:
... how Seinfeldian this episode was? (Appropriate, considering the guest
star.)
Joe Klemm:
... the Picasso portrait of Burns as Homer carries him and Gloria up the
stairs?
... a supermarket candy/toy dispenser among the items in Snake's hideout?
Chad Lehman:
... there are only male fortune writers?
... the last name "Collins" is used twice? (Thomas/Joan)
... Smithers rolls his eyes at Monty's "lift my wiper" quip?
... Maggie removes her pacifier when Marge brings the food to the table?
... the dog at the amusement park (that Monty sees) and the dog that Homer
chases are one and the same?
... Monty can play a musical instrument, presumably similar to a piano?
... Snake knows the word "trilobite"? (He had some "student loan payments"
in the past ... possibly an archaeology student)
... Burns calls Homer his best friend?
... Snake considers "gravel and dirt" a lawn?
... both Snake and Burns use the word "totally"?
... the bong on Snake's shelf?
... the surfboard against Snake's wall? ("totally" explains the surfer
talk, dude)
... the Star Trek-like wetsuit on Snake's couch?
... the barrel with the radioactive symbol on it on Snake's floor?
... Lou wears his police cap backwards?
Benjamin Robinson:
... even Maggie grabs a fortune cookie?
... the socialite Monty woos must be a divorcée, since she had a husband in
"Children of a Lesser Clod (CABF16)"?
... we don't learn Gloria's name until Snake says it toward the end of the
show?
... Homer's backside is still scorched from the fire when he and the family
walk into the sunset?
Ted Schuerzinger:
... Chinatown is apparently in an entirely different part of Springfield
from Ethnictown? (Then again, Ethnictown *did* appear in the non-
canonical THOH XII.)
... Flanders didn't seem disturbed by Homer and Marge's apparently loud
sex?
... the "Nuke Canada" video game at the bowling alley?
Amir Vardi:
... Gloria, a cop, went out with Snake, a criminal?
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Writer)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Animal Control Man, Manager, Carl, Chief Wiggum, Anti-theft
Computer Voice, Lou, Cletus)
- Harry Shearer (Woody, Lenny, Cap'n McAllister, Burns, Smithers, Ned,
Kent, Eddie)
- Special Guest Voice
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Gloria)
- George Takei (Waiter)
- Also Starring
- Pamela Hayden (Extra Gal)
- Tress MacNeille (Socialite)
- Marcia Mitzman-Gaven (Extra Gal)
- Karl Wiedergott (Delivery Guy [?])
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ "Burnin' Love" (song)
- inspired the title of this episode
+ "Fun Size" candy bars {bjr}
- Bart's blackboard gag alludes to these bite-sized bars
+ Toys R Us (chain of toy stores)
- Springfield's Chinatown has a Toys "L" Us
+ China-Tibet conflict
- spills over into animosity between Chinatown and Tibet Town
+ Bob's Big Boy (restaurant chain)
- Chinatown has Bob's Big Buddha
- there's a statue in front of the restaurant of Buddha holding up a
bowl of food; cf. Big Boy holding a plate with a burger on it {bjr}
- Clairol Herbal Essences (shampoo) {jc}
- getting aroused by a shampoo ad
+ Woody Allen (actor, director) {jk}
- Jewish Fortune Cookie Writer modeled after him
+ Monopoly (board game) {jg2}
- Rich Uncle Pennybags steals Burns' would-be date, riding on a train
that resembles the game's railroad symbol
+ Scrooge McDuck (cartoon character) {cl}
- Walt Disney character, most notably seen on Disney's adaptation of
Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" [Ted Schuerzinger, citing toonpedia.com,
says the character first appeared in 1947 -- Ed.]
~ "Seinfeld" (TV series) {mg}
- Elaine (Julia Louis Dreyfus's character) dates a much older man
+ "Saturday Night Fever" (movie) {af}
- Mr. Burns suit is like John Travolta's
+ "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown" (TV special) {fw}
- Burns was dancing the way one of the kids [in the special] did
+ "Lady & the Tramp" (movie)
- spaghetti-eating scene similar to the one from this movie
+ "Alice in Wonderland" (children's novel) {zh}
- Monty says "O frabjous day!" and later "Callooh! Callay!", which are
both part of the same line from the Lewis Caroll gibberish poem
"Jabberwokcy", which is from this book
+ Cool Whip (dessert topping)
- Homer thinks "pistol whip" is something similar
+ Ferrari Testarossa (exotic car) {bjr}
- Burns drives a Bugatti Sexarossa
- "Raising Arizona" (movie) {jg2}
- a career criminal falls in love with a female cop
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- Burns in love {jg2}
- [9F05] Burns falls for Marge
- [1F21] Burns nearly marries Jacqueline Bouvier
- [3G01] A drugged up Burns says "I give you love!"
- [4F05] Burns has a one-night stand with the daughter of a former crush
resulting in a son
- Burns's young adventures
- [1F08] Runs own casino
- [2F16], [2F20] Shot by Maggie
- [2F16] Blotted out the sun
- [AABF17] Captured Loch Ness monster
- [7F11], [AABF20] George Takei guest stars {ah}
- [7F15] Someone triumphantly yells, "Calloo, Callay!" {bjr}
- [7F15] someone says "O Frabjous Day!" {ddg}
- [9F01] Brockman doing a live report at a house fire {cl}
- [9F21] Still picture of George Harrison from this episode {bjr}
- [1F02] Homer tries to retrieve food from a dog {cl}
- [1F16] Smithers says a less-than-sincere "oh ... goody" {bjr}
- [1F18] Bart mentions trilobites {fh}
- [1F21] Monty cuts a rug {cl}
- [1F21] Burns proposes {ddg}
- [2F07] Sex potion improves Homer and Marge's bedroom life {bjr}
- [2F08] Marge "pairs up" Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II {ddg}
- [2F18] Lady & The Tramp is parodied {af}
- [3F10] Burns visits Barney's Bowl-A-Rama {jg2}
- [4F06] Smithers visits a strip club {jg2}
- [4F22] OFF visits Chinatown {dj}
- [4F22], [AABF15], [CABF16] The rich socialite woman appears {bjr}
- [5F12] Stu's Disco appears {af}
- [5F15] "Crazy Lady" voice recycled for the angry pie-theft victim {bjr}
- [AABF08] Monty calls himself a "bad boy"/"big boy" {cl}
- [AABF16] Mr. Burns steals the Loch Ness monster {bjr}
- [AABF17] "... he tried to steal the Loch Ness Monster ..." {jg2}
- [AABF20] Snake's computer thievery {cl}
- [AABF20] Mr. Pennybags appears, and makes his exit in a Monopoly icon {bjr}
- [AABF20] Homer uses reverse psychology to trick someone into rewarding him.
He fails, and gets injured (foot massage / lightning-ice cream round)
{cl}
- [AABF21] Homer as a writer {cl}
- [BABF02] Live Kent Brockman news update from Barney's Bowl-A-Rama {cl}
- [BABF18] Rich Uncle Pennybags is seen {dj}
- [CABF05] Concept of criminals doing telemarketing {cl}
- [CABF08] Snake on fire, with the cops present {cl}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Store in Chinatown {bjr}
TOYS "L" US
- Chinese Restaurant {bjr}
Bob's
Big
BUDDHA
- Chinese Menu {bjr}
CHICKEN ROLLS
Fried rolls filled w/chicken and vegetables
CHOW MEIN
Fried egg noodles smothered in your choice of sauce and vegetables
SHARK BUTT
With Assorted Vegetables Sauteed In Any Of These
Butt - Garlic - Curry - Black Bean
LEMON CHICKEN
Strips of chicken breast fried and served in a tart lemon sauce
- Videogame at the Bowl-A-Rama {bjr}
NUKE
CANADA
- Snake's mailbox {bjr}
SNAKE
(AKA JAILBIRD)
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
* Lisa is typing the fortunes in Chinese, but they're supposed to be in
English. {ddg}
= The pennies Mr. Burns gave the delivery boy were not "copper" colored.
(Okay, maybe they were 1943 steel pennies ...) {ddg}
* Chinese New Year is in February and Flag Day is June 14. [But see
"Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {th}
= When Moe rolls up his flag, it should be rolling around the pole the other
way from how it's actually being done. {ddg}
- Smithers says it will be Flag Day for "twelve more seconds," suggesting
that it's near midnight, but his watch indicates something like quarter
after 9 or 10. {bjr}
= Mr. Burns and Smithers are by Moe's tavern when the first notice Gloria
ticketing his car. Suddenly he's at the edge of the road, and Moe's Tavern
is no where to be seen. {af}
* OFF was discussing Burns's date before it happened. How did they know?
{th}
+ Burns has dated women who presumably had their original hair and teeth --
Lily Bancroft from "Burns, Baby, Burns (4F05)," for example. {bjr}
c When Marge says "new underpants" her lips are saying "new boxers." {cl}
+ Burns injects himself with aphrodisiac using a syringe. Yet, in an earlier
episode, doctors tried to put a syringe in Burns' arm and it just went
through like a sponge. [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {sa}
* [If Gloria was a cop] how come none of the other cops recognized her? Why
wasn't there any mention of her being a cop when Snake was around? [Gene
Poole answers, "She was a meter maid. No one talks to them, even other
meter maids" -- Ed.] {ac}
= When Snake walks through the parking lot, he can be seen passing the same
group of cars twice. (Shades of Hanna-Barbera!) {jg2}
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Stephen Burks: I guess it all kinda boils down to what makes a good Simpsons
episode. Some people like it when Homer does all kinds of Zany things,
some people like references to pop culture and the like, some people like
subplots, some people want one concise story, etc. Well, tonight's episode
had a clear coherent storyline that lasted the entire show, but there was
very little (if not any) or any of the other stuff that makes a Simpsons
episode good in the eyes of many of its fans. It seems as though that is a
step in the right direction, but I don't think that the show should be on
valium. I can only really summarize this in [...] an old Burns line: "You
know, I'm no art critic, but I know what I hate. And ... I don't hate
this." (B)
Don Del Grande: one of the best this season, although it rates a "low"
A-minus because of the copout ending ("Monty, you're my hero, I know I said
I'd marry you, and that Snake is a woman-beating low life, oh who am I
kidding, Monty who?"). "Swartzenegger" is back with this one. (A-)
Alex Foley: Huge improvement over the last two episodes. The first two acts
featured a lot of great gags (such as the dragon, Homer trying out Burns
sexual stimulant, Burns cheerfully firing Carl). The show does lose it's
footing once Snake takes Homer & Gloria hostage (though I LOL'ed at
Homer's "mmm ... pistol whip" line). Overall John Swartzwelder's best
episode in a few years. (B-)
Joe Green: One of the more enjoyable Season 13 episodes so far, even though
Swartzwelder got bogged down in cliched plot elements. I'll say this much:
it was one of those rare eps that actually made me sympathize with Mr.
Burns. (Just why is it that women are so self-defeatingly attracted to
"bad boys"? The world may never know ...) (B)
Tony Hill: This episode had promise, but in the end it wasn't there. Why was
Gloria only a cop in the first scene? Shouldn't the others have recognized
her at least? The dedication to George Harrison was nice. I give it a
(C)
Darrel Jones: Maybe it was because I was surfing the Net while watching it,
but I didn't enjoy this one. Nothing was bad about it, though not much was
good, either. Homer's "Pistol Whip" fantasy was good, though. I give it a
C+ (6/10) for effort. (C+)
Anthony Kusich: Finally, the first laugh-out-loud episode of the season!
After a spotty Halloween special and two unfunny episodes that had me
almost wincing at the screen, "Hunka Hunka" reminded me of the Simpsons of
old. The fortune cookie intro segued into the rest of the episode nicely,
and Homer was up to his usually hysterical self ("That dog has my gum!").
I hope the rest of season 13 is like this. (A-)
Andrew J. Milner: A distinct improvement over the season's earlier episodes.
Nice to see Homer be a little dumb without being repellent ly stupid, a few
very good sight gags ("TOYS 'L' US") and it's always good to see Burns'
character fleshed out. Wish they'd developed the whole fortune-cookie
subplot further into the storyline, though. (B)
Ted Schuerzinger: Surprisingly good, considering it's a CABF episode and
presumably a hold- over from Season 12. Homer didn't seem like too much of
a Jerk*ss -- after all, everybody complained about the odd fortunes in
their fortune cookies, and this is the sort of thing I could see people
commenting upon. The satire on the 24-hour news networks (Kent Brockman
arriving at "Minute 2" of the hostage situation, and the "Insta-Poll" which
is all that seems to pass for "news" these days") was understated but on
target, and Homer and Marge's implied sex scene had me laughing out loud!
I'd give this episode a B+; one of the better episodes in quite a long
time, with the exception of "Trilogy of Error". (B+)
Todd Willis: Very nice episode! Finally, we get a coherent plot for the
first time in a long time. It was nice to see a lot of Mr. Burns, which
hasn't happened recently. The first two acts were solid, but the final act
suffer by an overkill of Snake's appearance. Not the best episode ever,
but one of the best in a long time. (B+)
Yours Truly: It takes a while to hit its stride, but this episode does build
both momentum and laughs. Julia Louis-Dreyfus has a good run on the show,
playing a funny character not that far removed from "Seinfeld's" Elaine.
Homer and Burns team up to good effect, and for once the third act doesn't
peter out. Toss in some good moments (Smithers' attempted flirtation with
Burns, and the aphrodisiac scene stand out), and "Hunka Hunka" shapes up to
be a good episode. (B+)
AVERAGE GRADE: B (2.94) Std Dev.: 0.5619 (12 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Those Eternal Threads
- Where is Springfield?
Tony Hill: If the Chinese New Year parade really took place in February,
there was no snow on the ground, suggesting a more southerly locale.
- Is Smithers gay?
Benjamin Robinson: When Burns reads that he will find true love on Flag Day,
Smithers immediately suggests that it is he and Burns who will be lovers.
Tony Hill: Smithers moans in *agony* when female strippers shake their butts
at him.
>> Meta-Reference corner
Tony Hill, man of few words, writes: Burns thinks everything is excellent.
>> Musical References
And NRBQ fan going by the moniker "InMyPants102" notes the song playing during
the Burns-Gloria dating montage was, "If I Don't Have You."
>> Perhaps if "fun size" were larger ...
Chad Lehman wonders: Reading the chalkboard gag, I always ask myself: what
did Bart do to get that punishment? Apparently, Edna is getting liberal in
her detention-giving ... Bart brings an offensive candy bar to class! ;)
>> Toys "L" Us
Joe Klemm: The Toys 'L' Us is a reference to Japanese language. While
Americans have different sounds for R and L, there is no distinction
between the sounds of R and L in the Japanese language. Thus, it is
sometimes common that some Japanese names can be spelled either with an R
or an L.
Surly Duff asks: Wouldn't it be Chinese, since they were in Chinatown?
Richard Kim answers: The L and R similarities are present in Asian languages
like Chinese, Korean or Japanese
Dr. Steve: Didn't anyone notice that this is sort of racist? I really don't
care most of the time, but as far as I know this is a reference to when
Asian people that have just learned English have problems with words that
have an R in them ... they pronounce it as an L ...
As said before, this is because R and L have the same sound in Malay, but
this was also a pretty bad ethnic slur/stereotype from a long time ago when
Americans made fun of Asian people like, 40-50 years ago.
Chad Lehman: IMO this is why P.C. is so distressing. The Simpsons has
lampooned P.C. subjects from time to time, and P.C. itself. We recognize
the reference, and laugh because it comes from our world. Does this mean
we'll come away from the episode with a determination to treat Asian people
worse? Is the joke a good excuse to openly mock a group of people when we
get the chance? Is this reference a precursor to hate? IMO absolutely not.
It's ridiculous. Thinking people with good hearts would treat everyone
kindly, but laugh at the ridiculous stereotypes lampooned on The Simpsons.
>> Alligator in the toilet? Grab a plunger, Grampa
Chad Lehman: Flushing things down the toilet results in huge, deformed,
sewer-living mutants. Ranks right up there with "keep digging, and you'll
reach China" and "keep doing that, and you'll go blind."
>> It's like Valentine's Day, but with more flags
Joe Green: Given the references to Flag Day (which is on June 14, for you
non-Americans), this episode was clearly meant to take place in June.
Could this show have been rescheduled from broadcast in some other part of
the year? (Contrast this with [AABF05], whose original broadcast date was
during Ramadan.)
About the holiday itself, Benjamin Robinson writes: In the United States,
Flag Day falls on June 14th. If you own a U.S. flag (and a lot more of us
do nowadays), you're supposed to fly it on this day. Flag Day is a minor
holiday; you don't get off work, schools and banks remain open, and even
the greeting card companies don't make Flag Day cards.
>> Is it Flag Day already?
Hey, speaking of Flag Day, Don Del Grande wrote: There are (at least) two
explanations for showing Flag Day soon after the Chinese New Year parade.
First, not every city has its parade right on Chinese New Year (San
Francisco, for example). Second, it's possible that months passed by
between when Homer started writing the fortunes and the scene with Mr.
Burns opening the cookie.
Bucky Jones has a third explanation: They [the Simpson family] see that big
dragon creature that looks like something that would be in a parade, and
Marge says, "Ohh, it must be Chinese New Year's." Then we find out that it
really is a big dragon, meaning that it is not part of a parade, meaning
that Marge's assumption was wrong.
David Werner: Besides, Lisa probably knows what day Chinese New Years was,
and would have said something like "It's the year of the dragon" after
hearing Marge's remark, had it actually been the Chinese New Years. And
yes, I know that the year of the dragon was last year, not this year. Then
there's the question of where the big dragon came from to begin with ...
I'll say a wizard did it.
>> Parlez-vous Chinese?
A couple of viewers pointed out that, since Homer was writing the fortunes in
English, Lisa didn't have to puzzle out what the ideograms on a Chinese
keyboard meant.
Chad Lehman: Fortunes can have both the English and the Chinese on them.
With all the Chinese-born people in Chinatown, would the clientele be
strictly English-speaking? You'd think Homer and Lisa would have to at
least make both English and Chinese versions.
Benjamin Robinson: Do native Chinese (and recent immigrants) eat fortune
cookies, or is this mainly a Western convention? [Zan Hecht answers,
"Actually, fortune cookies are a strictly American invention. They were
invented in San Francisco, IIRC." -- Ed.] I know the menu at most American
Chinese food restaurants is subtly different that what you'd find in China.
There might not be as much demand for Chinese-language fortunes in that
case.
(Of course, if the fortunes needed to be in both languages, Homer could
just compose them in English, and then have them sent out for translation.
But that wouldn't have been as funny.)
>> Hunka Hunka Car Watch
Benjamin Robinson: Gloria's ride is a Ford Thunderbird, circa 1958-1960. The
headlight and taillight details are a little off, but the car is still
recognizable. Pretty nice ride for someone on a parking cop's salary --
maybe Snake stole it for her before he got sent up the river.
It must have been Old Ford Day on the show -- Snake walked past not one but
two 1957 Ford sedans. (Or rather, the same sedan twice since the
background was recycled.)
Burns says that the car seen in this episode is a "Bugatti Sexarossa." As
you might suspect, Bugatti never made a car by that name. Moreover, the car
we see doesn't resemble any Bugatti that I know of. It does make sense that
Burns would have a Bugatti in his garage, though. In their day, Bugattis
were exclusive motor cars aimed at the very upper crust. Today, the cars
can fetch six or even seven figures at auction.
Joe Green adds: One of the cars in the Barney's Bowl-A-Rama parking strongly
resembles a Volvo 870.
>> The Burns Uncertainty Principle, explained
As noted in the Goof section, Burns can inject himself with a syringe, even
though doctors at the Mayo clinic could not. Obviously, this is just a
consistency goof, but it inspired some interesting reconciliation attempts.
Matt Drury: Yes: if you want something done right, you have to do it
yourself. An appropriate Burnsian philosophy, supported by recent advances
in quantum mechanics and metaphysics.
Brian Beck: Going into more depth, using the Burns uncertainty principle --
if another person measures his arm, then it changes the position of the
arm, this making it impossible to stick with a needle. However, because
Burns knows everything about himself, he is able to find the arm to stick a
syringe in it, and Homer is too dumb to know what a measurement is to screw
it up.
Rory Molinari writes: A syringe worked fine in the X-Files episode, when
Burns was hopped up on goofballs. Perhaps it is only syringes in Minnesota
that fail.
>> Marge is "sexist" ... hee hee! He said a bad word!
Chad Lehman: Marge can't stand seeing a MAN single ... have the years of
waiting and expecting her sisters to "do something with their lives" worn
Marge down on the women-married issue?
>> No man is an island. No woman, either
While we're on this topic, Benjamin Robinson writes: Marge insists everybody
should be "paired up," while Lisa is equally convinced that some people are
happiest when alone. Maybe I'm reading too much into the conversation, but
I get the idea that later in life, Marge will be pestering Lisa to get
married, whether Lisa wants to or not.
Chad Lehman asks: Did Marge pair Maggie and the cactus for their "spikiness"?
>> Opposites Attract
David N. Werner: By the way, the whole "cop and criminal in love" bit can be
explained by Stockholm Syndrome, a phenomenon in which a hostage falls in
love with the captor. Snake probably has done this before ... or maybe the
writers just forgot she was a cop.
Elson writes: Hmm ... was she a cop, or just a meter maid? It's only in big
cities that the Police Dept and Parking Enforcement are different entities.
Tony Hill: Meter monitors don't work at 11:59 PM where I live.
>> They may rule the Earth, but they're not good dating material
Joe Green writes: When Snake calls Burns a "trilobite", this is a reference
to a prehistoric creature from over 300 million years ago. You can find
out more about this species at http://www.aloha.net/~smgon/trilobite.htm .
Benjamin Robinson: [They] are small creatures that lived in the oceans by the
untold millions, *before* the age of the dinosaurs. They were oblong-
shaped, had a hard shell, and lots of little shrimp- or lobster-like legs.
The trilobites mysteriously died out long ago, and their fossils are a
common find today. I'm impressed that Snake knows about them.
>> Why we need copyright lawyers
Kevin Muckenthaler found some interesting coincidences: Last night's episode
seemed very similar to the episode Dumbbell Indemnity
- Both episodes have unappealing men (Moe and Burns) looking for love.
- Both men are about to give up when they meet a beautiful women with the
voice of a guest star.
- Moe and Burns both use Homer to help them.
- Both episodes contain scenes of the couple going out with a musical
backdrop.
- Both episodes include a disco scene.
- In both episodes, everything seems to be working out (Hawaii and
marriage) when something bad happens (Moe tells Renee about using Homer to
steal the car/Snake kidnaps Gloria).
- Both episodes contain the Springfield police and an arrest being made
(Homer and Snake).
- Homer gets into trouble in both episodes (arrested and taken as a
hostage).
- Both episodes include a burning building (Moe's bar and Snake's house).
- Both episodes have a gag about carrying somebody out of a burning
building (Barney with the beer kegs and Gloria carrying Burns).
- Both women leave the men at the end.
- Snake's even in both episodes (he's trying to steal Moe's car).
>> Does this guy have a newsletter I can subscribe to?
Tongue (presumably) in cheek, Punkass Crab writes: CABF18 contained an
obscure criticism of the legitimacy of the Bush administration. As it has
become increasingly dangerous to criticize Bush, it is understandable that
the writers would choose a cryptic yet unmistakable reference to election
fraud.
Let's examine the reference. The love story that ultimately matters in
this episode is that of Gloria and Snake (and yes, the characters
themselves were the inspiration for this love story). Now, with a bit of
West Texas drawl, "Gloria-Snake" becomes "Glorious Neck", or the
description of Shrikantha, one of the many names of Shiva. Shiva, in fact,
has 108 names. The 108th Simpsons episode aired was Sideshow Bob Roberts
(2F02) in which Bart and Lisa expose the election fraud that carried
Sideshow Bob into office.
Foreshadowing of this reference was achieved when Apu said, "Shiva H.
Vishnu!" in Bart the Fink (3F12). "H", of course, is the middle initial
that separates George Herbert Walker Bush from George Walker Bush. The
former was legitimately elected, while the latter, the writers would
insist, was not. That's an "H" of legitimacy. In that episode, Bart
reveals more dirty dealings (financial, this time), such that Krusty
decides to fake his own death. Of course, just as George W. Bush was
mysteriously AWOL from his Air National Guard airplane, Krusty is not in
his airplane when it explodes. The Apu quote was in fitting response to
seeing Krusty in his airplane.
>> Coming Attractions
user54165 asks: In the previews, Burns tells Homer that he'll "take it from
here" as Homer carries them upstairs. Was this in the episode? I don't
remember that part.
Gary A answers: I think that it was a audio splice -- Burns says he'll take
it from there when he's sitting in the chair. When they're still climbing,
Burns tells Homer to go left up ahead. Similarly, the bit where they're in
the bar and Homer has to put Burns' hand on "'my' 'knee'" was definitely
compressed for the commercial (almost no pauses between lines).
>> Miscellaneous, Etc.
The Joe Green alterna-title for this episode is: Queen of Burns' Castle
Anthony Kuisch: The episode received an 8.2/13 [rating] (13.2 million
viewers).
Chad Lehman: "This is the happiest day of my life. Nothing could spoil it ...
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING." This line could make someone coin the term "anti-
foreshadowing".
Benjamin Robinson: Rudolph Valentino was the Mel Gibson of the silent film
era, a handsome leading man who made ladies' hearts flutter.
>> RIP, George Harrison
Don Del Grande: Dedicated to the memory of A PLATE OF BROWNIES - er, uh,
GEORGE HARRISON
Benjamin Robinson: As speculated, tonight's episode was dedicated to George
Harrison, the musician and ex-Beatle who passed away late last week. In my
opinion, he got a better dedication episode than did Linda McCartney
("Trash of the Titans (5F09)").
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr}
==============================================================================
% The Simpson family spends an afternoon visiting Springfield's
% Chinatown. Everyone enjoys themselves, although Lisa is disturbed
% by Chinatown's continued harassment of nearby Tibet Town.
%
% A dragon parades down the street in celebration of the Chinese New
% Year. An animal control van heads the dragon off at an
% intersection. Two control officers jump out, and tranquilize the
% dragon with darts. One of the officers sadly observes that people
% buy baby dragons when they're cute, "then they flush them down the
% toilet."
%
% Later, the family samples the local cuisine. Bart orders shark butt
% with butt sauce which, to Marge's surprise, is an actual item on the
% menu. Lisa orders sweet and sour rice, and resists offers to
% enhance her dining experience with meat side dishes.
%
% No Chinatown meal is complete without fortune cookies. The waiter
% brings a plate of five, and each Simpson grabs one.
Homer: Ah, and now to read my fortune. [reads] "Geese can
be troublesome." What the hell is that supposed to
mean?
Waiter: Oh, fortune means, geese cause problems.
Homer: Well, I knew that before I came in here. A guy
outside told me that.
Marge: [reading her fortune] "Every house has a bathroom."
Homer: Aw, these fortunes are terrible.
Manager: [approaches the table] Is there a problem?
Homer: These fortunes are terrible. They're supposed to
predict stuff, and ease you through times of doubt
and sickness.
Manager: Well, with all due respect, I suppose you could come
up with better fortunes?
Homer: Oh, easy.
Manager: Well ...?
Homer: You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial.
Manager: [considers for a second] That's not bad.
-- The Analects of Homer, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% The manager brings Homer to a back room, where men at typewriters
% compose new fortunes. One is a dead ringer for Woody Allen. He
% types something, then crumples the slip of paper in disgust and
% tosses it into a tiny wastebasket.
Woody: What am I doing here? I should be in New York writing
riddles on Popsicle sticks. Then I'd be making a
difference.
Writer: Oh, they ruin my best fortune. I wrote, "Let a frown be
your umbrella." They change it to "smile." A frown is a
much better umbrella than a smile.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% The manager strikes a gong, getting the writers' attention.
Manager: This gentleman here can write better fortunes than
all of you put together. [to Homer] Show them.
Homer: Okay, let's see ... um, The price of stamps will
climb ever higher.
[the writers murmur appreciatively]
Woody: That is ... he's like a young me.
Writer: Please, Young Mi was a hack compared to this guy.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% The manager hires Homer on the spot. Homer dictates his fortunes
% from the comfort of his living room.
Homer: Let's see, "You will invent a humorous toilet lid." "You
will find true love on Flag Day." "Your store is being
robbed, Apu." Are you getting all this, Lisa?
Lisa: [pecking hesitantly at a Chinese keyboard]
I don't know.
-- Maybe you should outsource the typing, "A Hunka Hunka Burns
in Love"
% Homer gauges the popularity of his writing by hiding in restaurants,
% and overhearing people's reactions. The "reviews" are good. Lenny
% likes the fortune that says he's a winner, while Capt. McAllister is
% glad to hear he will soon go on "a short sea voyage."
%
% Burns has some Chinese take-out delivered to the power plant. He
% feigns an inability to understand Chinese (or pidgin-English, at
% least) to stiff the delivery guy out of a tip.
%
% Later, after the men eat ...
Burns: Oh, General Kao, you're a bloodthirsty foe, but your
chicken is delectable. [tries to pick up his
fortune cookie] Oh, this cookie feels heavy, as if
there's some paper inside. [struggles with the
cookie, until a snap is heard]
Smithers: Nice job, sir.
Burns: That was my thumb. [passes the cookie to Smithers,
who opens it and passes it back]
Oh, it seems to be some sort of communiqué.
Smithers: It's your fortune, sir.
Burns: Capital! [reads] "You will find true love on Flag
Day." Why, it's Flag Day today. [gasps] True love,
at last.
Smithers: Well, it's just you and me here, sir.
Burns: No time for jokes, Smithers. Come along, [gets up]
we're going womanizing.
Smithers: Oh, goody.
-- Lock up your daughters, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% At a party, Burns makes some headway at seducing the easily-
% horrified socialite. In the time it takes for him to get a drink,
% though, he loses her to Uncle Pennybags of Monopoly(tm) fame.
%
% Burns figures there might be some girls in a strip club. After all,
% the sign out front reads, "Girls, Girls, Girls." Inside, the exotic
% dancers are doing their usual pole-dances.
Great Heavens! It's one of those nude female fire stations!
-- Monty Burns, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns figures he'd always be second fiddle "to some kitten stuck in
% a tree." He calls for Smithers, but he's pinned in a corner by some
% of the dancers, to his considerable horror.
%
% Burns gives up. He and Smithers walk down the street.
Burns: Oh, that fortune promised me true love. [sighs]
This has been the worst Flag Day ever. [looks
ahead, and sees a cop putting a ticket on his car's
windshield]
That constable is ticketing my car!
Smithers: I told you we should have parked next to the curb.
[the camera switches to a wide angle, showing that
Burns parked in the middle of the street]
Burns: [to cop] Now see here, flatfoot. [the cop looks up,
revealing that she's an attractive woman]
[gasps] My goodness, you're beautiful.
Gloria: Oh, thanks, but I still gotta give you the ticket.
Burns: [laughs] Of course you do. You can lift my wiper
any day.
[aside to Smithers] Is it still Flag Day?
Smithers: [looks at his watch] For twelve more seconds, sir.
Burns: Ah, miss, would you submit to a wooing by a
gentleman caller?
Gloria: Oh, I'm sorry, but you're really not my ... [Burns
whimpers and gives her a puppy-dog look] Oh, okay.
Burns: Oh, frabjous day! She said yes! [dances off]
Smithers: He'll pick you up at seven. Wear a petticoat.
Gloria: Petticoat?
Smithers: Here's a place that rents them. [gives her a
business card]
-- Insert Petticoat Junction joke here, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% [End of Act One. Time: 5:58]
%
% The Simpsons have somehow gotten word of Burns's date.
Marge: It's about time Mr. Burns found a woman. I can't stand to
see a man single.
Lisa: Some people enjoy being alone, Mom.
Marge: No, everyone should be paired up. [puts this into
practice by pushing together the dog and cat, the salt and
pepper, and Maggie and a cactus. Maggie knocks the plant
over] It wasn't meant to be.
-- Two out of three ain't bad, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns and Gloria go on their date.
Gloria: I've gotta be honest, Monty, I've never dated anyone who
knew Calvin Coolidge.
Burns: Well, I never dated anyone with their original hair and
teeth. [they laugh and, when Gloria isn't looking, Burns
whips out a magnifying glass to double-check]
Gloria: You're a nice guy, Monty. You're always laughing and
tenting your fingers. I like that.
Burns: [tents his fingers] Excellent.
Gloria: And you're so upbeat -- you think everything's excellent.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% The pair decide to ride on the Ferris wheel.
Gloria: I really feel safe with you. It's like going out
with my brother.
Burns's Brain: Yes! It's going great.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Gloria tries to get to know Monty better.
Gloria: So, what are you into?
Burns: In ... to?
Gloria: Yeah, like, what's a fun day for a 104-year-old?
Burns: Oh, I enjoy all the popular youth trends like, [looks down
at the bumper cars] piloting motor coaches, and uh, [sees
a man picking up after his dog] collecting dog waste.
-- Both popular Gen-X activities, I'm sure, "A Hunka Hunka Burns
in Love"
% That evening, Gloria drops off Mr. Burns at his estate.
Burns: So, what shall we do tomorrow? Go grousing? Or, if you'd
rather stay home you could sing, while I accompany you on
the clavichord.
Gloria: Actually, Monty, I --
Burns: Oh, I've got some wonderful stereopticon images of the
Crimean War.
Gloria: Look, I had a lot of fun today, but I don't think we're
right for each other. The age difference is just too --
Burns: Oh, balderdash. It's not important how old you are on
parchment, it's how old you feel in the humours.
Gloria: I'm sorry, Monty --
[just then Homer runs by, chasing a dog]
Homer: Stop that dog! It has my gum!
Burns: Look, there's one of my young chums now.
[calls Homer] You there!
Homer: [comes over] Ah, ah, yes, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Tell my young sweetheart here of my youthful exploits.
Homer: Um ...
Burns: [aside to Homer] Play along, chubbsy. There's a pie in it
for you.
Homer: Oh! Yeah, Monty's a wild man. [high-fives Mr. Burns,
knocking him to the ground] He ran his own casino, stole
the Loch Ness monster, got shot by a baby, and blotted out
the sun.
Gloria: [to Monty] Wow, that was you?
Burns: Well, shall I pick you up at eight?
Gloria: Well ...
Homer: Come on, he's a total player. [kicks Gloria's car's door
twice for emphasis]
Gloria: Okay, just stop kicking my door. [drives away]
Burns: [breathes a sigh of relief] Well done, young man. Your
youthful trendiness will come in handy throughout the
courting process. Because these days, you've ... [looks
at Homer] Where did you get that pie?
Homer: Windowsill.
[an angry woman leans out her window and yells at Homer]
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Marge spots Homer getting dressed for Burns's second date.
Marge: New underpants? Homer, what are you up to?
Homer: Burns wants me to come along on his date to show him where
hip young people go.
Marge: Well, don't look too hip. You don't want that girl
falling for you. [giggles]
Homer: You're right. [rummages through the laundry hamper and
pulls out a ratty pair of old underwear] These would stop
Joan Collins herself!
-- They're the Joan Collins special, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns and Gloria dance at a nightclub. When the song is over, Burns
% secretly takes a hit from an oxygen canister in his vest pocket.
Gloria: I gotta admit, you can really shake it.
Burns: Oh, yes, it's totally voluntary.
Gloria: So, you guys come here all the time?
Burns: Oh, uh, constantly, when we're not being kicked out for
our rowdy youthful behavior, eh, palie?
Homer: Yep, no one's rowdier or more youthful than old man Burns.
Gloria: You mean young man Burns. [cuddles up to Burns]
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns quietly tells Homer to put his hand on Gloria's knee. Homer
% misses the mark by a little.
%
% Despite that, the date went well. Burns carries Gloria up the
% stairs of his mansion (as Homer carries them both) to his master
% suite. Burns dismisses Homer for the night, and prepares himself
% for a tryst with Gloria by injecting himself with an aphrodisiac
% made from a rare fox. He bids Homer goodnight, and heads into the
% bedroom. Homer picks up the syringe and sticks himself. Energized,
% he runs home to Marge for an amazing session of "snuggling."
% Afterward, she hopes the kids didn't hear them, but it appears that
% Bart did. And Lisa. And Flanders.
%
% Burns is cheerful the next day at work.
Carl: Well, Burns looks happy today. Heh, watch me, uh, take
advantage of his good mood.
Lenny: Ooh.
Carl: Uh, Mr. Burns, um, can I have a raise?
Burns: [cheerily] Clean out your desk -- you're gone.
Carl: Well, I had a good run.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns's courtship of Gloria continues, with a little assist from
% Homer. One afternoon, Homer swims across a lake, pulling the two
% lovers in a rowboat behind him.
%
% Later, Burns and Gloria share a plate of spaghetti. They each get
% an end of one strand, and suck it, getting closer together until
% their lips touch. When they do, we can see that Burns's end of the
% spaghetti goes down a tube, which runs under the table to Homer's
% mouth.
%
% At the movies, Burns puts his arm across Gloria's shoulder. Homer
% takes advantage of the opportunity and injects some aphrodisiac into
% Burns's arm.
%
% Burns and Gloria lie under a tree at sunset. Homer notices the old
% man's heart has stopped, so he uses a defibrillator to get Burns
% going again. Gloria seems blissfully unaware.
%
% On another date, Burns, Gloria, and Homer go bowling. Gloria wins.
Burns: Once again, my dear, you've beaten two strapping young
bucks.
Gloria: [Burns-like] Excellent.
Burns: [laughs] Did you hear that? That "excellent" was ...
excellent.
-- Excellent, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns and Homer excuse themselves to go to the restroom. There,
% Burns reveals some big news.
Homer: You're going to ask her to marry you?
Burns: Isn't it wonderful? I'm head over heels in love.
Homer: Are you sure you want to do this so fast?
Burns: Yes, my biological clock is ticking. I could be dead
again soon.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% So, Monty pops the question.
[Gloria reaches for one of the bowling balls]
Burns: Wait, my dear. I think you'll find that red ball more ...
engaging.
Gloria: [picks up the ball, and finds that Burns has hidden an
engagement ring inside] Oh, Monty, it's beautiful.
Homer: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Burns: Gloria, say you'll marry me?
Gloria: Oh, Montgomery, of course I'll marry you.
Burns: Oh, spectacular! Now, we must celebrate. I'll get some
champagniola. [goes to find some] This is the happiest
day of my life. Nothing could spoil it -- absolutely
nothing.
[cut to Snake, walking in the parking lot, with a gun and
a sack]
Snake: [to himself] Dum-de-dum-dum-dum ... okay, gun: check.
Dollar sign bag: check. Power bar: check. All right,
let's rob this ... [looks up at the "Bowl-A-Rama" sign]
bowling alley? Okay, whatever.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Snake barges in through the front door, pistol drawn.
Snake: All right, totally ... [sees Gloria] Gloria?
Gloria: Snake? I thought you were in prison.
Snake: I was. I told the guard that I was going out for a pack
of cigarettes, then I totally stabbed him. [chuckles]
Mmm, you're looking good, baby. [grabs Gloria] Why did we
ever break up?
Gloria: [pushes Snake away] You pushed me out of a moving car.
Snake: The cops were chasing us; I needed to lighten the load.
[Gloria looks indignant] And, um, protect you. Ha, ha.
-- The sensitive male, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Snake starts to drag Gloria out of the bowling alley. She protests
% that she's engaged and tries to fight him off. Burns's engagement
% ring slips off her hand during the struggle. Homer tries to stop
% Snake, yelling, "Let go of her, or I'll scream!" Snake just grabs
% Homer with his other arm, and hauls both he and Gloria outside.
% True to his word, Homer screams repeatedly.
%
% Just seconds later, Burns returns to the scene of the crime,
% carrying a bottle of champagniola.
Burns: Calloo, Callay! We're in luck! They had a magnum at the
shoe counter. Now -- [sees the engagement ring lying on
the floor] Gloria? [picks up the ring] Her ring. [gasps]
Why, she's run off -- [gasps again] with Simpson.
-- It's always the one you least suspect, "A Hunka Hunka Burns
in Love"
% [End of Act Two. Time: 14:12]
%
% Homer, Gloria, and Snake drive off in Burns's car. Homer pulls up
% to his house and tries to make a casual exit. Snake is too slick to
% fall for that old trick, though.
Snake: Gloria, you'd better tell your boyfriend to be a good
little hostage.
Gloria: He's not my boyfriend. Mr. Burns is. Homer just comes
along on our dates and carries us to the bedroom.
Snake: You're dating that old trilobite? Gross!
Gloria: We're in love, Snake.
Snake: Don't say that, baby. I'm going to win you back if I have
to pistol-whip this guy all night.
Homer: [agitated] Pistol whip? [calmer] Hmmm ... [Homer
imagines himself next to a big ol' bowl of Pistol Whip(tm)
whipped topping. He uses a pistol to scoop up some and
eat it]
[back to reality] Mmmm ... pistol whip.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Meanwhile, Marge watches news.
Kent: Local authorities are confident the killer bees are just
curious and won't bother us if we don't bother them. On a
serious note, two local residents have been missing for
the last twenty minutes. We take you now live to Barney's
Bowl-A-Rama and the last man who saw them, C. Montgomery
Burns. [a video link of Burns in the bowling alley
appears on the screen]
Burns: I don't understand. She was my young fiancée, he was my
sexually virile best friend, and they just drove off in my
Bugatti Sexarossa. How could this ever have happened?
Kent: Well, according to our audience insta-poll, 46% say you're
too old, and 37% say she's a skank.
-- 17% had no opinion, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Snake and his hostages arrive at a remote cabin. Once inside, Snake
% ties Homer and Gloria to two chairs.
Homer: Wow, who do you have to kill to get a place like this?
Snake: I think his name was Gustavson.
-- So now you know, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Gloria is still ticked off at her ex-boyfriend.
Gloria: Let me guess. Now you're going to start working him over
with the brass knuckles. You are *so* predictable.
Homer: You know what would be surprising? A foot massage.
Snake: Shut up! [punches Homer]
Gloria: Beating a man to a bloody pulp isn't going to impress me.
Snake: It used to. What if I beat him harder?
Gloria: Wow, you so don't get it.
Homer: Um, has the ship sailed on my foot-massage suggestion?
[Snake punches Homer again]
-- Yes, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% At Police Headquarters, Chief Wiggum tries to track Burns's car
% through its anti-theft system, but it doesn't reveal any useful
% information. Then Cletus gives the police a big lead in the case:
% He saw Simpson driving around in the Hickton area. Wiggum
% immediately has Cletus placed in custody. As he's led away, Cletus
% demands the lawyer, "what wears a cowboy hat."
%
% The police close in and surround the farm where Snake is hiding.
% Wiggum and Lou see that Homer's tied to a chair, and Lisa realizes
% that it's Homer who is the hostage. Snake, meanwhile, tells the
% police to back off, and threatens to turn on the sprinklers if they
% don't comply.
%
% Channel 6 news is all over this story, and Kent reports live from
% the scene.
Kent: We're in minute two of this stand-off. What's the
situation, Chief?
Wiggum: Well, we have an officer sneaking around the house, Kent,
so unless they have a television in there or can hear my
loud talking ...
[a gunshot is heard, and soon Eddie runs out from behind
the house, holding his arm]
Eddie: Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Wiggum: Well, I guess that answers that, doesn't it?
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Snake still pleads his case with Gloria.
Snake: I swear I can change, Gloria. I'm taking classes in
computer fraud.
Gloria: That's what you said about the telemarketing scam. But
you didn't stick with it.
Snake: I don't like bothering people at home.
-- And now that they have that do-not-call list ..., "A Hunka Hunka
Burns in Love"
% While Snake and Gloria argue, Homer sidles the chair up to a wood
% burning stove, and tries to use the heat to burn through the ropes.
% It works! The only problem is, Homer's clothes are on fire, too.
% He jumps up, and hops around the room with the burning chair still
% strapped to his back. Eventually, he falls down, and the chair
% breaks apart. Flaming pieces of the chair land on the stolen
% merchandise Snake has stored in the cabin. Soon, the whole place is
% aflame. Both Snake and Homer rush out the front door and fall on
% the grass. Unfortunately, Gloria is trapped inside.
Burns: My Gloria's still inside! Save her!
[the porch on the cabin collapses]
Wiggum: It's too dangerous! But I got a sister you might like.
She's completely hairless, like those cats.
Burns: I don't care if she's Miss Hairless America, I'm spoken
for. Now, step aside. I'll save Gloria myself.
Wiggum: You? Uh, no offense, but you're a decrepit monkey
skeleton.
Burns: Perhaps, but this monkey skeleton is in love!
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns runs to the cabin to save his girlfriend, but can't push aside
% the timbers of the collapsed porch roof. Just as he admits to
% himself he's just a "feeble old man," he sees Gloria stirring in the
% cabin. With his resolve strengthened, he forces his way into the
% burning building.
%
% Soon, the shadowy figure of one person carrying another to safety
% appears at the front door. It looks as though Mr. Burns has rescued
% Gloria. Lisa is impressed with his heroism. When the figures step
% into clear view, we see that it is Gloria who is carrying Mr. Burns.
% "Well, the important thing is, they're both safe," says Lisa.
%
% Gloria rests Mr. Burns on the ground. Kent walks her over in front
% of the cabin.
I know you've been through a lot, ma'am, but we need you to stand in
front of the burning house and say, "Channel 6 News is hot, hot,
hot!"
-- Kent Brockman, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Homer is still impressed with Burns's rescue attempt.
Homer: Wow, Mr. Burns, how did you do that?
Burns: Never forget, Homer, there's no muscle stronger than the
human heart.
Homer: What about the wiener? A guy on TV lifted a can of paint
with his.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Gloria runs up to Mr. Burns as the police put snake in the back of a
% cruiser.
Gloria: Oh, Monty, you saved me! And to think I was once in love
with that dirty low-life, with his arrogant smirk, gutter
mouth, tough-guy attitude, macho tattoos, hair that can't
be tamed, [sighs] prison-sculpted body ...
Marge: Uh, oh.
Gloria: I'm sorry, Monty. [kisses him goodbye, and leaves] Oh,
Snake, don't ever change.
-- "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% Burns splutters a bit after Gloria runs to join Snake. The Simpson
% family walks over to comfort Mr. Burns, and they walk into the
% sunset together.
Burns: I don't get it, Simpson. I'm a bad boy.
Homer: Oh, I know.
Burns: I'm absolutely evil.
Bart: You're preaching to the choir, man.
Burns: What do I have to do, grow a devil beard?
Marge: Devil beard?
Burns: You know, a little goatee thing.
Homer: You mean a Van Dyke?
Burns: No, a Van Dyke has a moustache, doesn't it?
Lisa: I think it can.
Bart: Are you talking about a soul patch?
Burns: No! Wait, maybe.
-- Hair options for men, "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"
% [End of Act Three. Time: 20:21]
%
% George Harrison, both a former Beatle and "Simpsons" guest voice,
% passed away shortly before it first aired in North America. The
% producers dedicated this episode to him, briefly showing a still
% picture of Homer and Harrison from "Homer's Barbershop Quartet
% (9F21)." Otherwise, there's no change to closing credits. The
% Gracie Noise is the normal "Shhh," too.
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{ac} Alex Cooper
{af} Alex Foley
{ah} Alan Hamilton
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{cl} Chad Lehman
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dj} Darrel Jones
{fh} Frank Habets
{fw} Fox Wolf
{jc} Jeff Cross
{jg2} Joe Green
{jk} Joe Klemm
{mg} Matt Garvey
{sb} Stephen Burks
{sa} Syndey Assbasket
{th} Tony Hill
{zh} Zan Hecht
==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 2004 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (caps...@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The
Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2004 Benjamin Robinson. This
capsule has been brought to you by Bob's Big Buddha and Girls! Girls!
Girls!: Springfield's place for girls!
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.
--
Benjamin Robinson bj...@freenet.tlh.fl.us
This message may or may not contain sarcastic content; your burden to decide
"I'm naked, clueless, and f-e-e-e-ling good!" -- Ratbert
Matt Garvey
Benjamin Robinson wrote:
> ==============================================================================
> > Movie (and other) references
> ==============================================================================
> ~ "Seinfeld" (TV series) {mg}
> - Elaine (Julia Louis Dreyfus's character) dates a much older man
>
If you wanted to be more specific, she did that in "The Alternate Side."
> ==============================================================================
> > Previous episode references
> ==============================================================================
> - [AABF16] Mr. Burns steals the Loch Ness monster {bjr}
> - [AABF17] "... he tried to steal the Loch Ness Monster ..." {jg2}
AABF17 is the right episode - AABF16 is "The Old Man and the C Student."
> - [BABF18] Rich Uncle Pennybags is seen {dj}
I don't know which episode that was supposed to be, but I don't think he showed up
in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge."
> - [CABF08] Snake on fire, with the cops present {cl}
Should be CABF09.
Captain Infinity
Benjamin Robinson is about to speak:
> + "Alice in Wonderland" (children's novel) {zh}
> - Monty says "O frabjous day!" and later "Callooh! Callay!", which are
> both part of the same line from the Lewis Caroll gibberish poem
> "Jabberwokcy", which is from this book
"Jabberwocky" is not from "Alice In Wonderland". It is from "Alice
Through The Looking-Glass".
**
Captain Infinity
Ted Schuerzinger
news:40705DD9...@po.cwru.edu:
>> - [BABF18] Rich Uncle Pennybags is seen {dj}
>
> I don't know which episode that was supposed to be, but I don't think
> he showed up in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge."
Thirty Minutes over Tokyo; I don't know the P-code.
--
Ted Schuerzinger <fedya at bestweb dot net>
The way I see it, you raised three children who could knock out and hog-
tie a perfect stranger, you must be doing *something* right.
Marge Simpson, <http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7G01.html>
Matt Garvey
> Somebody claiming to be Matt Garvey <mx...@po.cwru.edu> wrote in
> news:40705DD9...@po.cwru.edu:
>
> >> - [BABF18] Rich Uncle Pennybags is seen {dj}
> >
> > I don't know which episode that was supposed to be, but I don't think
> > he showed up in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge."
>
> Thirty Minutes over Tokyo; I don't know the P-code.
>
That's AABF20, which is already mentioned in the capsule.