And prior, to just before, the Black Box recording, had been played, on
Blue Midget, the Boyz from the Dwarf's, missing memories of the past
four days, had gradually come back to them all, and we soon discovered,
that they had returned, from the Planet's Moon (that had been far too
insignificant, for me, to give a real description of, in this Red Dwarf
Fan Fiction of mine! Marie Birch), via Blue Midget. And Lister and
Rimmer, had been, in a very drunken state, in Red Dwarf's Sleeping
quarters, and there was no sign of the Cat. And therefore, it was quite
obvious, that the Cat, had been sleeping it off, in his Sleeping quarters!

And, a rather drunken Lister, had asked, a rather drunken Rimmer - "Do
you know what I fancy right now?" And Rimmer's response to that, had
been - "A big, fat woman with thighs, the size of a hippo's!?". And
Lister had kindly informed him - "No, I want a triple fried egg butty,
with chilli sauce and chutney!". And in the end, Rimmer had suddenly
decided, that he had wanted, a triple fried egg butty with chilli sauce
and chutney, as well! And Lister had decided, that would definitely, not
be a problem, and that, nothing was too good, for the Deathday boy!

And Lister, had had to wake up, a very peeved Holly, for Rimmer's very
strange request, because as Rimmer was, and still is, a Hologram, they
soon realised, that they, would need Holly, to provide him, with a
Hologrammatic meal. And Holly, had appeared, on the screen, in the
Sleeping quarters, wearing a nightcap! And, he had kindly informed, his
fellow Dwarfer's, that he was absolutely jiggered! And Lister, could not
understand, for the life of him, why that was the case, because
computers, did not, need to sleep! And, Holly had kindly informed
Lister, that he did need to sleep, and that, he had got to off-line,
sometimes! And that, he could not, keep up, his full tilt, at full
power, and red hot, and at maximum pace, all the time! And that, he had
got, to take the odd breather, hadn't he?! And, Rimmer and Lister, had
demanded, that they wanted him, to make a triple fried egg sandwich
with... chilli sauce and chutney! Holly had been absolutely disgusted,
by their request, even though, Lister had insisted, that it was a state
of the art sarnie! And Holly's reply to that, had been - "It's the state
of the floor, I'm worried about!". And with that, Rimmer had held up,
his hand, and a rather, disgusting looking, sandwich, which had been
made up, of a triple fried egg butty, with chilli sauce and chutney, had
suddenly, appeared! And Rimmer, had taken a bite of the disgusting
looking, sandwich, which had been made up, of a triple fried egg butty,
with chilli sauce and chutney, and his face, had taken on, a succession
of expressions, and they had been, a mixture of pain, horror and shock.
And Rimmer, may have been drunk, but he had still got, pain receptors!!!
And, his response, to his first taste of the disgusting, looking,
sandwich, which had been made up, of a triple fried egg butty, with
chilli sauce and chutney, had been - "I feel like, I'm having a baby!".
And Lister, had naturally assumed, that he was enjoying, eating, the
disgusting looking, sandwich, which had been made up, of a triple fried
egg butty, with chilli sauce and chutney, when all was said
and done! However, Rimmer had insisted, to Lister, that it was
incredible, and he had ended up, asking Lister, where he had got, the
recipe from! Lister had informed Rimmer, that he could not remember. But
that said, however, he thought, that there had been a possibility, that
he had originally obtained it, from a book, on Bacteriological Warfare!
And, Rimmer had stated, that eating, the disgusting looking, sandwich,
which had been made up, of a triple fried egg butty, with chilli sauce
and chutney, could be compared, to be a cross, between food and bowel
surgery! And Lister had insisted, that the disgusting looking, sandwich,
which had been made up, of a triple fried egg butty, with chilli sauce
and chutney, was very naughty! And the trouble, with it, was, that you
had got, to eat it all, before the bread dissolved! And Rimmer, had
insisted, that he could, never ever, have invented a sandwich, like
that! Rimmer had felt, that all of the ingredients, are wrong! The fried
eggs: Wrong; the chutney: Wrong! The chilli sauce: all wrong". And, he
carried on - "But put them together and somehow, it works! It becomes
right. It's you -- this sandwich, Lister, is you!". Lister could not get
the gist, of what Rimmer, was trying to tell him, and he felt, that
Rimmer, had desperately needed, to get something off his chest! And,
Rimmer, had informed Lister, that he was all wrong, and that, all of his
ingredients, are wrong! And that, he was slobby, and that, he had got no
sense of discipline, and that, he had been, the only man ever, to get
his money back, from the Odour Eater people! But Rimmer, had insisted,
that was exactly why, people like Lister, were a fried egg, chilli,
chutney sandwich man! Rimmer carried on, with his speech, and he had
informed Lister, that all of his ingredients were right, and that, he
was disciplined, and that, he was always organised, and that, he was
dedicated to his career, and that, he had always got a pen! And Rimmer,
had kindly informed Lister, that the end result, of all that, had been:
That he was a total smeghead, who had been despised by everyone, except
the ship's parrot! And that, was only because, they hadn't got one, when
all was said and done! And, Lister's answer, to that, had been - "I
suppose it's because you ARE a total smeghead!". But Rimmer, was just
not having it, and he insisted, that, he was a nice guy. A goodie! But
that said, however, Lister had insisted, that he felt, that the trouble,
with Rimmer was, that he had never got time for people. And that, he had
been, far too busy, trying to be successful! (And Lister's argument,
with regard, to Rimmer, who had not, had any time, for people, by trying
to be a great success, seemed to be not, totally unlike, the
British/English and Welsh Coalition Government's, attempts, to please,
the British/English and Welsh voters, to my mind! Marie Birch), and
that, it was all midnight revision, and up, up, up the ziggurat,
lickety-split! And with that, Lister had saluted Rimmer, via mocking
him, with the salute, that Rimmer had originally invented, before he had
got killed, via the radiation incident, and he had lived in false hope,
that the Space Corps, would replace, the conventional salute, if he had
had enough Officers, behind him, to support it, that is! And, the only
Officer, Rimmer had tried, to get, to support, his half-baked idea, had
been, Kochanski, and she had told him, to go and have sex, with someone,
and that had been an order! But that said, however, Rimmer had still
carried on, in insisting, to Lister, that he had always, got time for
people! And, what about all the time, that he had spent, licking up to
Todhunter, even though, he was a total gimp?! And Captain Hollister? Mr
Fat Bastard:2044! And Rimmer, had kindly informed Lister, that he had
gone out of his way, to simper around him! And Lister, had also kindly
informed, Rimmer, that was definitely not, having time for people!

In the end, however, Rimmer had kindly informed Lister, how many times,
in his entire life, that he had made love, which had only, been once!
Even though, Lister had insisted, that he didn't want to know! And,
Rimmer had still insisted, on telling him, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth! Even though, Lister had insisted, in a very forceful
manner, to Rimmer, to listen to his advice, and that, he would regret
it, if he told him, the whole truth, of when, he had actually made love,
and that, he would wake up in the morning, and that, he would have his
hangover, and that, he would feel like death, and that, he would walk up
to the mirror, and that, he would look in the mirror, and that, he would
remember, and he would go: "Ahahahahah!!!". And Lister, had stuck his
fist, in his mouth, as an example. And Lister had kindly informed him,
that it was not worth it, and that, he did not want to know, and he
urged him, to believe him, that he would not want, to tell him!

Unfortunately however, Rimmer had insisted, on telling him, and he had
kindly informed Lister, that he had only made love: Once! And Lister's
response, to that, had been: Smeg! And Lister, had insisted, that he did
not, want to tell him that, and that, he would want to kill himself, in
the morning! And, Rimmer went on, to inform Lister, that he had had a
single, brief liaison, with the ship's: Female Boxing Champion: Yvonne
McGruder! And the single, brief liaison, that Rimmer had had, with the
ship's: Female Boxing Champion: Yvonne McGruder, had happened, on March
the sixteenth, seven thirty one. P.M to seven forty three P.M! And, the
single, brief liaison, that Rimmer had had, with the ship's: Female
Boxing Champion: Yvonne McGruder, had lasted, exactly: Twelve minutes!
And that, had included the time, it took to eat the pizza! And Rimmer,
had also informed Lister, that during, his entire lifetime, he had
actually, spent more time being sick!

And, Rimmer, had also informed Lister, that along, with the Duplicate
Hologram Rimmer, that he had temporarily created, via the Hologram disc,
that Lister had assumed, had been, Kochanki's, which he had originally
found, on the side of the Dwarf, while he had been very ill, with a form
of pneumonia, which had bred and mutated, and it had temporarily
created, two humanoid germs, who had been known, as Confidence and
Paranoia, and they had reminisced, over old times, past glories, old
girlfriends, which had been: Yvonne McGruder, naturally! And Rimmer, had
kindly asked, Lister, not to refer, to Yvonne McGruder, as if she was
the only one (which she had been, quite obviously!)! And, Lister had
asked Rimmer, to name one, other girlfriend! And Rimmer, had kindly
informed, Lister, that he was far, far, far too much of a gentleman, to
stoop to that kind of shower-room mentality! And, that all, that he
needed to know, about Yvonne McGruder was: "I gave her one!". And with
that, Rimmer had made a fist, and he had punched, his arm, into the air,
and he had grabbed, his bicep, with his other hand, in the well-known:
age-old bonking gesture, and even, LISTER, had been, shocked! And
Lister's response, to that, had been - "Fine, Rimmer, fine! That's very
nice! Very, very nice!".

And Yvonne McGruder, had also appeared, during the Total Immersion Video
Game: Better Than Life, which Rimmer had played, with Lister, the Cat,
and Holly, after a clapped out: Reliant Robin, had suddenly appeared, on
the beach, which had changed, into an E type Jaguar, after Rimmer, had
started to think, positively, that is! And after, that had happened,
Rimmer had got into, the E type Jaguar, and he had, turned on the radio,
and some extremely, boring Military type music, had come on. And, after
Rimmer had saluted, a very attractive woman, had suddenly appeared, in
the seat, next to him. And, the very attractive woman, in question, who
had suddenly, appeared, in the seat next to him, had been Yvonne
McGruder, naturally! And McGruder, who had spoken, with a London accent,
had said - "Hi Tiger!", with a very seductive growl! And Rimmer, had
asked her - "I bet, you're wearing a peep-hole bra, under that, eh?!".
And McGruder's response, to that, had been: "Yes, I am!". And with that,
Rimmer had growled, and he had also bitten, his hand! And, he had seemed
rather pleased, with the way, that things, were going, where the Total
Immersion Video Game: Better Than Life, had been concerned, when it
actually camed down to it, at the end of the day! And Rimmer, had also
stated, that they were only one thing, away from perfection. And with
that, a Furry Dice, had suddenly appeared, which hung, above the
windscreen. And after, that had happened, Rimmer had stated - "Bliss!".
And finally, McGruder, had given Rimmer, a very sexy look, and they had
driven off, along the beach.

And Rimmer, had met up, with his fellow Dwarfers, at a Classy
Restaurant, during the Total Immersion Video Game: Better Than Life.
And, the Classy Restaurant, had been full of colourful -- you might say
-- strange, if they had been, weird poor -- people. And, he had
apologised, to Lister and the Cat, for being late, and he had stated -
"Ah, I'm sorry, I don't know, what happened. I was driving along, and
suddenly, there was McGruder! Well one thing, led to another and... Good
God! This is a great game! Twice in one lifetime, I'm turning into Hugh
Heffner! And after Rimmer, had started to eat some bread, Lister's
response to that, had been - "Rimmer, you can touch things!". And
Rimmer's answer, to that, had been - "I know. Why do you think I was so
late?!". And, he went, and made a gesture, with his fist, and his elbow
(you know the one, I mean! Marie Birch).

Unfortunately however, these things, have a way of catching up, and
turning, against you, and during, the latter stages, of the Total
Immersion Video Game: Better Than Life, which Rimmer had played, with
Lister, the Cat and Holly, whom he had met up with, down a country lane,
via his very heavily loaded, small Morris Minor, along with a tribe of
screaming kids, who had been, attired in very cute Sailor suits, and
Rimmer's heavily loaded, small Morris Minor, was in the process of
breaking down! Yvonne McGruder, was still with Rimmer, but at that
stage, she looked, as if she was, at least, seven months pregnant! And
Lister, had been very concerned, that Rimmer, had seemed, to have come
down, in the World, a little bit! And Rimmer, had kindly informed him,
that even though, the Total Immersion Video Game: Better Than Life, was
a great game, and that, he could not, be happier, he had managed, to get
McGruder, pregnant, and during, the morning, she had made him marry her,
and during the afternoon, they had had seven kids! And Rimmer, had also
informed Lister, that his E type Jaguar, had been, far too impractical,
what - "With all the kids and everything!". And, Lister's response, to
that, had been - "Rimmer you fantasised, that you had Seven kids and a
mortgage?!". And Rimmer, had kindly informed Lister, the Cat and Holly,
that he had desperately, needed their help!

And, in the end, Rimmer had suddenly ended up, wearing very old clothes,
and he had also ended up, drinking, from a bottle, which had been,
wrapped up, in a paper bag, and he had looked like, a tramp! But worse,
even that that, the "H" was back, on his forehead, which definitely
meant, that he was back, to his Hologrammatic status, for once and for
all! And Rimmer, had informed Lister, the Cat and Holly, that his brain,
had rebelled! And that, it just, would not, accept nice things,
happening to him, and that, it just kept on, fantasising horrible things!

And, to cut, a long story short, the Total Immersion Video Game: Better
Than Life, which Rimmer had played, with Lister, the Cat and Holly, had
finally ended up, with the Taxman, making a demand, on Rimmer, for
eighteen grand, and the three of them, being buried up to their necks,
in sand, on the beach, and their faces, were smeared in jam, and they
were, about to be eaten alive, by killer ants! And Holly's response, to
that, had been - "Oh Dear. You can't take him, anywhere, can you?!

And even though, the Boyz from the Dwarf, had all assumed, that the
Total Immersion Video Game: Better Than Life, was over and done with,
after they had removed, their headsets, the Taxman, had suddenly
reappeared, on the Dwarf, and he had smashed a hammer, very hard on to
Rimmer's fingers! And, it had been, Bone Crunching time, for poor Rimmer!

And via, the Medi-game, which had created, a false scenario, and which,
had eventually, turned Rimmer, into another version, of Ace Rimmer
(which would explain, his temporary absence!), and into another version,
of Kochanski, which had been designed, to help keep, Lister sane, for
the time being. Unfortunately however, the Medi-game, had become, that
badly corrupted, which had been, mainly due, to some minute traces, of
the Armageddon Virus, still left, in Kryten's system, and which, he had
originally, contracted himself, on Starbug, and which would, enable him,
to analyse, it's structure, so that, he could attempt, to create a
Software Antidote, before it wiped out, his Core Programme, for good, so
that, he could wipe it out, from Starbug's Navi-comp, for once and for
all! And, as the Armageddon Virus, had been, so extremely complex,
Kryten soon realised, that he would have, no choice, in the matter, but
to dedicate, all of his run time, to its solution. And therefore, he
also, soon realised, that he would have, no choice, in the matter, but
to shut down, all, of his Non-essential: Life Support Systems. And, with
that, Kryten, had put on, some Head Sensors, so that, he could contract,
the virus, from Starbug's Navi-comp. And, Lister, had asked Kryten, if
there had been anything, that they could do, to help support him,
through his predicament. And Kryten, had strongly urged Lister, along
with his fellow Dwarfers, to: "Watch his dreams!!!".

And, despite Kryten, creating the Dove Programme, whose sole purpose,
had been, to spread peace, through Starbug's Navi-comps infected system
(and any other Computer System, come to that!), which would hopefully,
obliterate, its Viral Cells, as it would go on, to destroy, the
Armageddon virus, from the infected Navi-comp, on Starbug, for once and
for all, which had originally, become infected, due to a revenge attack,
via the evil Simulant Captain, whose Simulant Ship, had originally, been
attacked, via Lister and his fellow Dwarfers, in self defence, of course!

And, even though, Lister, along with his fellow Dwarfers, had done,
their level best, to support Kryten, via his subconsciousness, which had
caused him, to enter a Dreamscape, via his Life Support Systems:
Medi-bed Monitor, which had definitely meant, that Lister and his fellow
Dwarfers, had gone, and directly tapped, into whatever, had passed, for
Kryten's subconscious! And, Lister, had insisted, to his fellow
Dwarfers, that must have been, how Kryten's Core Programme, had been
coping, with the battle, against the Armaggedon Virus, and for whatever
reason, it had converted, his struggle, into some kind of dream, which
had turned him, into a Sherriff, in a corrupted version, of the Virtual
Wild Western Reality Game: Streets of Laredo.

And, Lister, along with his fellow Dwarfers, had entered, the
uncorrupted version, of the Virtual Wild Western Reality Game: Streets
of Laredo, as the Characters: Brett Riverboat: Special Skills: Knifeman
(Lister), and Dangerous Dan McGrew: Special Skills: Barefist Fighter
(Rimmer), and The Riviera Kid: Special Skills: Ace Gunfighter (The Cat),
which would hopefully, enable them, to eliminate, the corrupted version,
of the Virtual Wild Western Reality Game: Streets of Laredo, which was
by now, a permanent fixture, in poor Kryten's corrupted, subconscious
mind, for once and for all!

And, via the uncorrupted version, of the Virtual Wild Western Reality
Game: Streets of Laredo, Lister, along with his fellow Dwarfers, as
their Characters: Brett Riverboat: Special Skills: Knifeman (Lister),
and Dangerous Dan McGrew: Special Skills: Barefist Fighter (Rimmer), and
The Riviera Kid: Special Skills: Ace Gunfighter (The Cat), which would
hopefully, enable them, to eliminate, the corrupted version, of the
Virtual Wild Western Reality Game: Streets of Laredo, which was by that
point, in time, a permanent fixture, in poor Kryten's corrupted,
subconscious mind, for once and for all, knew that, they had got, no
choice, in the matter, but to take on: The Four Horsemen of The
Apocalypse, whose Leader, had been, called Death (and he had bore, a
very strong resemblance, to the late Simulant Captain, which had been, a
very bad sympton, where Kryten's Life Support Systems, had been
concerned, which had quite obviously, been caused, via his corrupted,
subconscious mind!), along with his Brothers: Brother War, and Brother
Famine, and Brother Pestilence (who had resembled, nobody Kryten, had
obviously known, at the time! And therefore, it had definitely, looked
like, they had been created, as a result, of the Armageddon virus, via
his corrupted, subconscious mind!)

And, finally, the very minute traces of the Armageddon Virus, that had
still remained, in Kryten's Life Support Systems, had gone, and
corrupted, the medi-game, even further. And, as a consequence, of all
that, Rimmer's Hologram disc, had somehow, only gone, and split in half,
and a brand new version of Kochanski, had suddenly appeared, along with
yet, another version of Rimmer! Only this time, he was alive and
kicking! And, the Red Dwarf Crew, had also ended up, being brought, back
to life, courtesy of the supposed nanobots, and Lister and his fellow
Dwarfer's, had also ended up, in Prison, on Red Dwarf! But that is
another story!

And, the newly created human: Rimmer, had met up, with Yvonne McGruder,
once again, after he had found, the Luck Virus and the Sexual Magnetism
Virus, amongst the wreckage of Starbug, which Lister, the Cat and
Kryten, had originally gone, and located, at the Scientific Research
Centre, on a barren planet, by resurrecting, the late German Scientist:
Dr Hildegard Lanstrom, via her Stasis Pod, who had already contracted,
some kind, of mutated Holo-plague, and she had been, in a fearful,
psychopathic fury! And, Dr Lanstrom, had gone on, to contact, Rimmer, on
Starbug, via the radio, which Kryten and Lister, had gone and dropped,
which had been hit, by a bolt of Hex-Lightning, courtesy of Dr Lanstrom!
And Lister and his fellow Dwarfers, had also, very nearly, been hit, by
a bolt of Hex-Lightning, courtesy of Dr Lanstrom!

And, Rimmer's kind and carefully, considerate response, to that, had
been - "Marvellous! I'm sure she'll be a valuable asset to the team!".
And, Dr Lanstrom, had been able, to pick up the radio, telekinetically,
and she had been able, to talk into it, on a hands free basis! And, Dr
Lanstrom had kindly informed Rimmer: "He-llo. My name is Dr. Hildegard
Lanstrom, and I am quite, quite mad!". And, Rimmer's kind and
considerate response, to that, had been - "Are you really? How
absolutely splendid!". Unfortunately however, Dr Lanstrom, was not, to
be deterred, from terrorising Rimmer, and his fellow Dwarfers, and she
had stated - "I have a riddle for you. What is dead, and dead, and dead,
all over?". And Rimmer's utterly heartless response, to that, had been -
"I give in, Dr. Fruit-Loop, _do_ tell me!". And, Dr Lanstrom's answer,
to her utterly nonsensical riddle, had been - "Yooooooouuuuuuu!!!".

And, with that, the radio, had gone and blown up, and a bolt of
lightning, had passed, from the explosion, to Rimmer's arm! And, we know
full-well, that Rimmer, had gone on, to contract, the Holo-virus! And,
Rimmer's final response, to Dr Lanstrom, had been - "Well we know, what
to get you for Christmas! A double lobotomy and ten rolls of rubber
wallpaper!".

And Rimmer, had gone back to the Dwarf, from Starbug, via the Escape
pod, which Holly, had prepared, for him, earlier on...

And after, Dr Lanstrom, had given, Lister, the Cat and Kryten, the run
around, at the Scientific Research Centre, on the barren planet,
by using, her telekinetic powers, on them all, which had taken, all of
her energy, out of her, and she had expired, into nothing. And, she had
finally been defeated, by the Holo-virus. And, once Lister, the Cat and
Kryten, were on their way, back to the Dwarf, via Starbug, Rimmer had
only gone, and put, an override, on the Cargo Bay Doors, and there was
nothing, that Holly could do, to stop him, no matter, how hard, she
tried, when all was said and done! And, Rimmer, had kindly informed, his
fellow Dwarfers, via one of the Monitors, onboard Starbug, that he had
got, no intention of contracting, the Hologrammatic equivalent of
foaming dog fever, whatsoever!

And as a consequence, of all that, Lister, the Cat and Kryten, had all
ended up, in Bay 47: The Quarantine Unit, on Red Dwarf! But once again,
that is another story!

And, as Rimmer had gone on, to kindly, inform Lister, that Holly had
told him everything, with regard, to the Positive and the Sexual
Magnetism viruses. And, after, the newly created human: Rimmer, had
informed Lister, that he had met up, with Yvonne McGruder, once again,
after he had found, the Luck Virus and the Sexual Magnetism Virus,
amongst the wreckage of Starbug, which had originally, been located, by
Lister and his fellow Dwarfers, at the Scientific Research Centre, on
the barren planet, by resurrecting, the late German Scientist: Dr
Hildegard Lanstrom, via her Stasis Pod, and she had already contracted,
some kind, of mutated Holo-plague, and she had been, in a fearful,
psychopathic fury! And, he had gone on, to kindly inform, Lister - "If
you took some, of the Positive virus, it would give you luck, and I have
already tried, some of the Sexual Magnetism virus! And Listy, at this
very moment, in time, Yvonne McGruder, is now sleeping off, the First
Twenty-three pages of the Kama Sutra!". (And, I really do feel, that
Rimmer, is really, an arrogant and egotistical Bastard, where women, are
concerned! Marie Birch)

And now, that a completely knackered up, Lister has met up, with a very
disorientated Kryten, and an utterly shattered Cat, and who are, all now
fully aware, of exactly just what, is their position, with Holly, in the
Science Room, with regard, to their present situation, on the Dwarf,
where their route, back to Earth, is concerned. Will they have the
misfortune, to encounter, the evil Gelf's, of unknown origins, that had
been, in residence, on the Dwarf, about two hundred years previously,
before they can even reach, the ice Blue Moon (which will take them, the
best part of a week, to reach!), that they have got to orbit, for the
best part of a week, before they can even set off, for their brand new
destination: The Andromeda Galaxy, is concerned? They could not be, that
unlucky, could they?! Surely not?!

And, now that we are also fully aware, of what has happened, where
Rimmer's whereabouts, are concerned. Will Holly be able to resolve, the
problem, that is affecting his Light Bee, where restoring him, is
concerned, over the next forty eight hours, if she wants to restore him,
that is?!

And, will Lister be able, to give poor Kryten, the re-charging time of
ten hours, via his maxi-recharging unit, in his Sleeping quarters, that
is absolutely essential, to enable him, to perform his duties,
adequately and sufficiently enough, on the Dwarf, one hundred percent,
before the Cat gets his hands, on him, to clean his Sleeping quarters
out, before he can get around, to getting the Skutters, to do all, of
the repairs, that are absolutely necessary, to the roof, of the
corridor, and clean up, the corridor, by Lister and Rimmer's Sleeping
quarters, as well as sprucing up, Lister and Rimmer's Sleeping quarters?!

And now, that we have discovered, that our perky pal, Talkie Toaster,
has finally stopped functioning, after keeping Holly company, for the
best part of four hundred and four years, will Kryten, ever be able to
repair him, after he is up and running, again?! Or do we really want,
Talkie Toaster, up and running again, especially if he is going, to make
constant demands, of the Boyz of the Dwarf, to eat, a lot of bread
related products, in the near future?!

And now, that Lister, has finally managed, to get a good nights sleep,
just exactly what is the significance, and relevance of the dreams, that
he is having, about all of the women, that he had ever been with, over
the years, especially with regard, to Lister's ex-girlfriend: Lise
Yates, and the Black Box, that had been located, on the Planet's Moon,
where they had originally celebrated, Rimmer's: Deathday?! And, come to
think of it, just exactly, what have the connections, with Rimmer's
short-lived: Long Lost Love interest: Yvonne McGruder, and the late Dr
Hildegard Lanstrom, at the Scientific Research Centre, on the barren
planet, and the Luck and the Sexual Magnetism viruses, have got to do,
with all of this?!

And is there a possibility, that Lister, will not come to blows, with
the Cat, before they set off, for Earth, once again?!

And exactly, just what, is the significance of the long silver space
ship, especially, where the radio signal, and those two large silver
coffins, are concerned?!

Find out all this and more, in the next exciting instalment of:

The Alternative Red Dwarf!

My new version of the Alternative Red Dwarf, which is actually set, on
the  Dwarf, is now available, for viewing, or downloading, at:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mainaltreddwarf.htm

If you would like to go directly on to my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, the
web reference is:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/xanadureddwarf.htm

Now available on my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website.

A review of Red Dwarf VIII filmed live at Shepperton
Studios of the 4th of December 1998!
Some new Red Dwarf links on the Xanadu Red Dwarf Links
Website, which includes links to:
Red Dwarf The Official Website.
The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club Website (UK, Eire and Europe).
The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club Website (U.S.A, Australia and
New Zealand).
The Craig Charles Funk and Soul MySpace Website.
The Unofficial Craig Charles Website.
The Unofficial Captain Butler Website.
The Danny John-Jules MySpace Website
The BBC CBBC MI High Website
The BBC CBeebies Story Makers Website
The Hideout (A Maid Marian and Her Merry Men Website)
Kryten's Homepage.
The Unofficial Chloe Annett and The Unofficial Clare Grogan Websites.
The Unofficial Emile Charles Website.
The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Group and The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Website.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Discussion and Fan Fiction Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Discussion and Fan Fiction Microsoft Windows:
Live: SkyDrive Group Message Board.
And on the Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, itself, are:
Future Red Dwarf Projects.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Favourite Episode Guide
has recently, been updated!
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Fact File Website.
A review of the film: Xanadu, and the lyrics for the
theme song: Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John!
A review of the Red Dwarf VII Extended episodes:
Tikka To Ride/Ouroboros/Duct Soup/Possible
unedited material for Red Dwarf VII, plus a review
of Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg/The Tenth Anniversary
Smeg Ups/Universe Challenge and The Children In
Need sketch.
The Explanation For The Time Drive in Transporting
The Red Dwarf Posse Back To Earth in Tikka To Ride:
(Episode I, Red Dwarf VII), as well as, The Heady
Medieval Atmosphere of 15th Century Space!
A review of the Red Dwarf VIII episodes: Back
In The Red I to III!

Recently added to Xanadu: A Review of Red Dwarf VII
by Marie Birch and Kevin Blake, and An Additional Review
of Red Dwarf VII by Marie Birch!
Red Dwarf: Back To Earth News!
Red Dwarf X News!

For those of you, who are interested, in my Unofficial Craig
Charles Website, the web reference is:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/craigcharles.htm

Recently added to my Unofficial Craig Charles Website:

The ITV Coronation Street Website.
The Lloyd Mullaney (Coronation Street Character) Profile Website.
A Craig Charles Funk and Soul Page Website.
The Craig Charles Career Profile Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Craig Charles Career Profile Microsoft Windows: Live: SkyDrive Group
Message Board.
The Craig Charles Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Smegaround: Smeg Around - Just A Place To Smeg Around Yahoo! Groups
Message Board.
The Street (Coronation Street) Yahoo! Groups Message Board.

The BBC 6 Music Website.
A Profile of Craig Charles' Work For BBC 6 Music! Plus Some Very
Important BBC 6 Music Information!
The BBC 6 Music Extra Information Website.
Craig Charles', very short Tribute, to the former: BBC North and BBC
North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters.
A Weblink, for the brand new: MediaCityUK Studos Complex, where the
brand new: BBC 6 Music Radio Station Headquarters, at The BBC North and
BBC North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters, Dock House,
Salford, Greater Manchester, which is situated, at the brand new:
MediaCityUK Studios Complex, which is based, at The Greenhouse, Salford
Quays, Salford, Greater Manchester.
Information, with regard, to Her Royal Highness: Princess Anne: The
Princess Royal, opening The Blue Peter Garden, at the BBC North and BBC
North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters, Dock House, Salford,
Greater Manchester, which is situated, at the brand new: MediaCityUK
Studios Complex, which is based, at The Greenhouse, Salford Quays,
Salford, Greater Manchester.
Information, with regard, to Her Majesty: Queen Elizabeth The II,
opening the BBC Studios, and unveiling the plaque, at the Open Centre,
at the BBC North and BBC North West Studios: BBC Manchester
Headquarters, Dock House, Salford, Greater Manchester, which is
situated, at the brand new: MediaCityUK Studios Complex, which is based,
at The Greenhouse, Salford Quays, Salford, Greater Manchester, and with
regard, to Her Majesty: Queen Elizabeth The II, who also started, the
BBC Sport Relief Mile, for six hundred participants, from the Quayside,
at the MediaCityUK Complex. And more information, with regard, to Her
Majesty: Queen Elizabeth The II, along with his Royal Highness: Prince
Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh, opening the Royal Manchester Children's
Hospital, Manchester Royal Eye Hospital, and Saint Mary's Hospital, and
a new wing, at Manchester Royal Infirmary, in Manchester, Greater
Manchester, and with regard, to the Royal couple, attending a Lunch, at
Manchester Town Hall, hosted by the Lord Mayor of Manchester, and Her
Majesty: Queen Elizabeth The II, meeting Newlyweds: John and Frances
Canning, of Prestwich, Greater Manchester. And, more information, with
regard, to Her Majesty: Queen Elizabeth The II, viewing a Jubilee
Garden, unveiled in Albert Square, in her honour, which has, as its
Centrepiece, an enormous "Throne", sculpted from a fallen beech tree,
from Wythenshaw Park.

Craig Charles: Former: Official Craig Charles Fan Club and the Former:
Craig Charles Online Website.
The Funky Bunker and Weapons of Mass Distraction Website.
A Craig Charles: Back From Hell: Red Dwarf VII (September 1996) Interview.
Craig Charles: Autobiography Information.

My Unoffical Craig Charles Website: Web Pages, which have recently been
updated:

My Craig Charles Career Profile Website: Plus an Interview With Craig
Charles From Cult TV Magazine, has recently been updated.
My Craig Charles Poetry Website, has recently been updated.

My Craig Charles Mini-Biography, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles, being a Presenter, of The Craig Charles Funk and Soul
Show, at the BBC 6 Music Radio Station, has recently been updated. Craig
Charles: Coronation Street (Craig, has starred, as Lloyd Mullaney, on
Coronation Street), has recently been updated.
Craig Charles, being a former Presenter, on Robot Wars, has recently
been updated.
Craig Charles: Former: Official Craig Charles Fan Club, and the Former:
Craig Charles Online Website, have recently been updated.
A Craig Charles and Suzanne Rhatigan Profile, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles: Author, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles: Autobiography News, has recently been updated.

And finally, I have set up a brand new: Section, on my Unofficial Craig
Charles Website, which is dedicated, to Additional Websites Devoted To
Craig Charles, which is basically dedicated, to some Message Boards,
that have been set up, as a Tribute, for Craig, over the years. And two
of those Message Boards, in question, I had originally set up, for
Craig, all by myself!

For those of you, who are interested, in my Unofficial Captain Butler
Website, the web reference is:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/captainbutler.htm

Recently added to my Unofficial Captain Butler Website:

A link has been set up, for the Captain Pugwash
Website/The Captain Butler Maritime and
Non-Maritime Incidents Website, informs you, all about,
The Mary Celeste Mystery and just exactly, how old,
Admiral Horatio Nelson, was, when he lost his arm!
The Captain Butler Good and Evil Pirates Website,
informs you, about, all, that you need to know, about,
Blackbeard, and the renowned legitimate Pirate:
Sir Francis Drake!
And my Captain Butler Fan Fiction: On The Goodship
Lady Captain has recently been updated!

For those of you, who are interested, in finding out more,
about the late actor: Barry Evans, who starred, in the
Doctor series, and Mind Your Language, and not to mention,
the films: Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, Die
Screaming Marianne, The Adventures of a Taxi Driver,
and Under The Doctor. And Barry also appeared, alongside,
the late actor and comedian: Dick Emery, in the 1982 BBC
Comedy series: Emery: A Legacy of Murder. Then please go
to:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/barryevans.htm

For those of you who are interested in the Doctor series,
the web reference is:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/doctorseries.htm

I am also in the process of working on a review of the very
first episode of the Doctor series: Why Do You Want To
Be A Doctor?

For those of you who are interested in Mind Your Language,
the web reference is:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mindyourlanguage.htm

I am also in the process of working on a review of the very
first episode of Mind Your Language: The First Lesson.

Recently added to my Unofficial Barry Evans Website:

A Barry Evans Career Profile Website.
The Barry Evans Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Doctor On The Go: Episodes Summaries Website.
The Under The Doctor: aka: The Way You Smile (1976) Review Website.

With regard to these reviews, they are incomplete, due to time
constraints, but they are available, for viewing or downloading,
via the appropriate websites, above, and they will always be,
permanently available, for this purpose! And when, they are
complete, it will be my intention, to notify, the various newsgroups,
to whom, they have been posted to! But in the meantime however,
my sincere apologies, for any delays, caused, anyway, and my thanks,
go to all, on alt.comedy.british, who are interested, in my Barry Evans/
/Doctor series and Mind Your Language Website's, anyway! And, it is
always nice to know, that there is more, than enough interest, to make
it, more, than worth my while, to keep, those websites going, thank you!

However, I am intending, to do brief plot summaries, of all, of the
Doctor series episodes and Mind Your Language episodes, when, I next
work, on my Barry Evans/Doctor series and Mind Your Language Websites,
as the reviews, that I am doing, of each episode, are very in-depth,
indeed, and they may, take up, a lot of web space, in the meantime! And
it is probably, for the best, if I set up, an Episode Summary website,
in the meantime, which will be, considerably shorter anyway, and for all
fans, of the Doctor series, and Mind Your Language series, then at the
very least, I have always, got something, that, will give them,
something, to keep them going, for quite, a long time!

I will also, put up, a short independent notice, for this purpose, as
soon, as it is possible, for me, to do so, anyway, especially, as I do
get, a lot of enquiries, via email, in general, via the Doctor series,
and Mind Your Language series, from all over, the world!

More recently, on my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British
Comedy Website, you may be interested, to know, that, there are also
links set up, for The Men From The Ministry Website, and a Maid Marian
and Her Merry Men Website (but there isn't very much, on the Maid Marian
and Her Merry Men Website, apart, from the series episode list, and a
Plot Summary Episode List Website, and a picture of Maid Marian and Her
Merry Men, but at the very least, there is now a Website, for the
series, at long last!)

And for those of you who are interested in my Maid Marian and Her Merry
Men website, then please go to:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/maidmarianandhermerrymen

And for those of you who are interested in Lynne Guy's General
Information and Classic British Comedy Website, then please go to:

http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/lynnes.htm

On my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British Comedy
Website, you will find links set up for:

Our Astronomy Website.
The College Of Adult Education in Wolverhampton Website.
The I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again Website.
My Unofficial Men From The Ministry Website
The Cats Protection League Headquarters Website.
Wildlife Park Kirkcudbright Website.
Kevin Blake's: Puzlebox Hobbies and Puzzlebox Business Websites.
The Official Website Of The British Monarchy.
Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British
Comedy Website, you can find a web page, which informs you all about me:
Marie Birch!

Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic
British Comedy Website.

A message of sympathy for the families of the victims and the
Firefighters, who lost their lives, via the attacks, on The World Trade
Centre and The Pentagon, in the United States of America.

That's All For Now, Folks!
Marie Birch
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