[MSTing] FFFFFF! (Part 5 of 6)

[Shay_...@letterbox.com]

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The Final Fantasy Fan-Fiction Fun Fest!
MSTing by Shay Caron
Part 5 of 6: "Final Fantasy III: The New Returners", Part 3

[ SOL. No one is in sight. ]

[ Time passes. ]

[ The Mads Sign flashes. ]

[ Time passes. ]

[ CF ]

PEARL: What the heck has happened to those bozos? Brain Guy?
OBSERVER: [ zips over ] Yes, Madam?
PEARL: Let's head up there. I want to find my subjects.
OBSERVER: Oh, certainly. [ Observer applies the awesome and staggering power
of his nigh-omnipotent brain, the power of which we are incapable of
fully understanding, to the task at hand. In other words, he makes
that "woogy-woogy-woogy" noise and sends himself and Pearl to the
satellite with a "pop!". ]

[ Time passes. ]

[ Crow pops his head up from behind a chair. ]
CROW: Coast is clear, everybody!
[ Mike peeks in from the side, while Tom looks over the back of another
chair. ]
MIKE: All right! Thanks, Bobo.
BOBO: [ enters from the other side ] No problemo.
MIKE: Let's go, guys.
PEARL: [ off-screen ] Neeeeelsooooon!!
BOBO: Uh-oh!
[ Bright red alarms go off all over the room. ]
MIKE: Oh, we got Angry Forrester Sign!!
[ Mike and Bobo run for cover, while Crow and Tom duck down behind the seats
they're in. ]

[ 6... 5... 4... ]
[ "woogy-woogy-woogy-pop!" ]
[ 3... 2... 1... ]
[ M&TB enter the theater. ]

MIKE: Almost had 'em there.
CROW: We just need to get rid of Brain Guy and we'll be set.
TOM: Ah, well.

> Final Fantasy III:
> The New Returners
>
>
> When we last left the land of Vehs,

TOM: Jerry Springer was on.

> Magus's fate was in the hands of a
> mysterious new general in Zarok's army. What will become of him? Let's find
> out...

CROW: And he dies.

>
> Part 3
>
> Wake up, prophet...
> Wake up...
> Wake up......

TOM: Is this some of that new-age poetry stuff?

> "Wake up!" a voice shouted at Magus. His eyes snapped open, and he saw
> immediately that he was in a dungeon cell. The person who'd been yelling
> at him was the mysterious, cloaked general, who was standing over him.

CROW: [ general ] Are you *ever* going to get out of bed?

> "Ungh...did you call me...prophet?" he asked her as he sat up. Or at least,
> he tried to sit up. As soon as he did, he felt unbearably woozy and laid
> down again.
> "Correct," the general replied.

MIKE: [ general ] You win the Mystery Prize.

> Magus was unnerved.

CROW: [ Magus ] I am unnerved.

> There was something so
> familiar about that voice, that aura...
> Suddenly, Magus's world went black.

TOM: All right, who spilled the paint?

>
> * * *
>
> Crono paced back and forth on the stone floor of the castle.

MIKE: Pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace.

> Marle kept
> grabbing
> for him playfully

ALL: Aah!
CROW: That was a frightening image.

> as he passed her in the throne room's hall, but he knew
> that she wasn't in the mood for playing. None of them had really been fond
> of Magus when he was around,

TOM: The dork.

> but now that he was gone, they were worried
> about him at least.
> Edgar sat on his throne, on the platform at the end of the throne room hall.
> He held his head in his hands, deep in thought.

CROW: Well, relatively.

> He barely moved, even to
> breathe.

MIKE: [ Edgar ] Watch how long I can hold my breath.

> Terra stood by the throne opposite him; she too was deep in thought,

CROW: Again, this is relative.

> with
> her chin resting on the top of the throne.

TOM: [ Terra ] Ow, this throne is pointy.

> Suddenly Edgar's head shot up. "I've got it!" he exclaimed.

CROW: [ Edgar ] A variety of bite-sized chocolate candies in a heart-shaped
box! We'll make millions! What were we doing again?

> "We can send
> in a spy to get him out!"
> "That's been done to death," Crono murmured, still pacing.

MIKE: Pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace.

> "Can't we think
> of something original?"

MIKE: We could go back in time and stop him from getting captured!
CROW: He said original, not stupid.

> "Who cares, as long as it works?" Marle scowled.
> "He's right, though," said Terra. "I don't think that would work.

TOM: [ Terra ] Now if we had some spies who weren't ineffective...

> Hmm..."
> All of a sudden, they all heard a gale of a wind howling outside the throne
> room doors.
> "What was that!?" Marle shrieked.

ALL: A gale of a wind howling outside the throne room doors.

> Then a small tornado broke through the doors and came straight for Crono
> and Marle!

CROW: And they died.

>
> * * *
>
> "Hi, guys! Did ya miss us?" said an impish voice from inside the tornado.

CROW: Whoever you are, no.

> "Quiet, Mune," an equally impish, though slightly deeper, voice whispered.
> "Masa and Mune!" exclaimed Crono and Marle.
> The tornado disappeared, and there stood the twin guardians of the Masamune.

TOM: Y'know, I wonder how they came up with those names.

>
> "As I said, did ya miss us?" Mune asked.

CROW: As I said, no.

> "Not really," Marle giggled.
> "We don't know what you guys are gonna do to save Ja--" Mune started, but
> Masa jammed his elbow into Mune's gut.

MIKE: [ Masa ] Don't let 'em know we don't know anything!

> "What Mune meant to say is

TOM: [ Masa ] Honk, blat, tweet, wakka-wakka.

> 'We felt something wrong, so we got out of our
> sword form to see if we could help.' So, do you need any help saving
> Magus?"
> Crono's grin was wide.

CROW: Passive sentences are annoying.

> "You guys, we know. About Magus. He told us where
> he was from a long time ago."
> A blank look crossed Mune's face for a moment.

TOM: [ Mune ] Dahhh...

> Masa whsipered something to
> him and he finally said, "Oh, so you guys know that he's Janus,
> right?"
> Crono looked at Masa. "I feel really bad for you," he said. "Little Brother

MIKE: OK, that'd be an ineffective evil government that can't spy on a citizen
to save its life.
TOM: So, the US government, basically.

> here must be quite a pain."
> "You have no idea," Masa muttered. "But down to business. Here's our
> plan..."

CROW: [ Masa ] We die.

>
> * * *
>
> In the darkness of morning before the dawn, eight figures--and an
> inconspicuous
> gust of wind--

TOM: Yeah, they got gusts of wind that *aren't* inconspicuous, if you know
what I mean!

> crept silently towards Zarok's Grand Palace, on the northern
> outskirts of the city of Viva Zarok.

CROW: Viva le--wait, I did that joke.

> Upon reaching the palace gates, they
> quickly knocked out both the guards and left them in a neat pile near the
> door as they entered.
> Stealthily, using the maps Locke had given her,

MIKE: What a lovely birthday present!

> Celes led the way. Terra
> followed close behind her, and behind Terra followed Crono and company, all
> five of them.
> But there should be six behind me, Crono thought to himself as he
> walked.

TOM: Oh, a menage-a-sept.

> Of course, if there were six behind me, I might not be here. But
> somehow, I think it would have come to this anyway...
> Suddenly, a sharp whisper

CROW: You mean "whsiper".

> cut into Crono's thoughts. "We're at the
> dungeon," said Celes. Masa and Mune reverted to their normal forms.
> Crono looked around. They certainly were in the dungeon.

MIKE: Yep, this's a dungeon, all right. The pink flowered wallpaper threw me
off for a minute, but it's obvious now.

> A heavy air of
> uneasiness seemed to choke him as they walked down the corridors, peeking
> into the mostly empty cells. Evidently, Zarok did not believe in taking
> prisoners.

MIKE: Then why have all that wasted space?
TOM: Yeah, rent the cells out as hotel rooms or something.

> "Listen...what's that?" Masa wondered aloud. Everyone did listen, and a
> melodious
> female voice could be heard from the far side of the corridor.

TOM: Turns out it's Kathy Ireland.

> "You see, Sir Funsworth? He refuses to wake up."
> Then came the reply, in a high male voice: "Or perhaps he really is
> unconscious."

CROW: Yeah, and maybe all those people really are lying about their alien
abductions. Pffft.

> "Nonsense," the female voice said. "People like this one don't wake up and
> then suddenly become unconscious again. He's too powerful for that."
> After that, Crono stopped listening and started to follow the others toward
> the voices,

TOM: They're schizophrenic.

> with the corridor widening substantially as they moved.
> He heard the last of the conversation just as he was coming within range
> of sight. "So this is--" Funsworth began.
> Then he saw them.

MIKE: [ Funsworth ] Oh no, not the Rescuers!

>
> * * *
>
> "It's those blasted Returners," he said through clenched teeth.

MIKE: I was close.

> The woman general, still in her cloak, turned as well. "Well, it is you,"
> she said in an amused tone of voice.
> "For all the good it will do you," Funsworth interrupted harshly. "You can
> rot with your friend in the dungeon."

CROW: [ British accent ] And all that rot.

> "On the contrary," said the general. "I never intended their...friend...to
> rot.

TOM: [ general ] We're going to mummify him.

> Oh, no, I think that would prolong his life quite a bit, now wouldn't
> it? Best we make his death fast and painless."

MIKE: Finally, an evildoer with some vestige of sense.

> She paused for a moment, and Crono was just sure there was a devilish smile
> on her face inside the hood of her dark blue cloak. "Or better yet, fast
> and extremely painful."

CROW: I like her.

> "You dog!"

MIKE: You flea-bitten collar-wearing fur-covered dog!

> Terra suddenly burst out. "What did he ever do to you!?"
> "As a matter of fact," snapped the general, "he ruined what passed for my
> life."
> "But how could he?" Lucca nearly jumped in astonishment.

ALL: Boingy boingy boingy!

> "He's not even from
> this dimension!"
> "And who says I am?" the general said.

CROW: But it's right here in the series bible!

> Lucca was at a loss for words.

TOM: [ Lucca ] Alphabet rock gigantic metal purple throw.

> Slowly, Magus stirred. "Wonderful," the general hissed gleefully.
> "I'll finish him off myself, now that he's awake."

TOM: Ah, so instead of murdering him earlier, the general decided to wait,
because... um...

> Magus emitted a noise that Lucca would have called a grunt, if not for his
> ever-charismatic bearing.

MIKE: That has *got* to be sarcasm.

> The general stepped through the open cell door and moved next to Magus. She
> raised her arms, and began to chant arcane words. "Lexxa gino bex
> kiana..."

CROW: Kiana Rouge?

> Magus stared at her, frozen in utter horror.
> Suddenly, he uttered one short, low syllable,

TOM: "Bleh".

> and lay down again, his
> remaining
> strength spent.
> The general instantly stopped spellcasting.

MIKE: [ general ] No! Not "bleh"!

> "Blast! He's muted me," she
> muttered.

CROW: Then stop talking!

> "And used all his energy doing it, I'd wager. What a fool."
> All of a sudden, Terra pushed her way into the cell, and pushed the general
> out.

MIKE: [ Terra ] Move it, cloak-girl!

> Terra rushed to Magus to examine his wounds, but he, still barely
> conscious,
> pushed her away.

TOM: [ Magus ] I don't want to be healed.
CROW: Jehovah's Witness! Have you been healed?

> "There's nothing...you can do for me," he managed to croak.

CROW: Suddenly he becomes Glenn.

> "And how would you know?" she said softly as she bent over him again.

MIKE: [ Terra ] You're such a moron. You wouldn't know the first thing about--
wait--forget I said that.

> "The wound...is magical. Only...magic...can cure it."

MIKE: [ Magus ] Or perhaps... a Band-Aid...

> "Then we'll get one of your friends," Terra said, gesturing to the others,
> locked in combat with Funsworth and the general.

TOM: And they threw away the key!

> "Not now," he said with urgency. "Go help them. Then...then you can worry
> about me."
> Terra kissed him lightly on the cheek as she drew the Atma Weapon from its
> scabbard.

CROW: [ disgusted ] Oh, here we go.

> "I won't be long," she said softly, and left.
> Magus was sure he'd died and gone to heaven.

CROW: And then he did die.

>
> * * *
>
> Thrust, parry...

TOM: Oh, this is after those two get back to the castle.

> Terra expertly swung her sword, and it was met by
> Funsworth's equally expert block. The Atma Weapon crackled with static
> energy.
> Suddenly,

CROW: The lights came on with suddenness.

> Funsworth tried a low sweep with his steel blade. Terra jumped,
> barely missing having her feet cut off. "You'll have to do better than
> that," she said, and caught Funsworth off guard with a quick swing. His

TOM: Arm came off.

> sword

MIKE: Snapped in two pieces.

> clattered to the floor, and he scurried off, defeated.

MIKE: [ Funsworth ] Eeeeek...

> Meanwhile, everyone else was ganging up on the general, who, without her
> magic, was seemingly defenseless.
> Seemingly.

CROW: Aah! Six-shooter in her pocket!

> She jumped up, and with a quick roundhouse kick knocked everyone
> out of the way--even Masa and Mune were caught by surprise. She yelled a

MIKE: Whole bunch and hurt her throat.

> triumphant, "Ha!" and ran down the corridor after Funsworth.
> "Should we follow them?" Crono wondered. "Let's not for now," said Marle.
> "We've got a friend that needs help."

CROW: And while they're at it, they may as well see about Magus too.

>
> * * *
>
> Edgar stood patiently on the castle steps, waiting for the approaching group
> to arrive.

TOM: [ Edgar, impatiently ] Are they *ever* going to get back? The cows are
going to beat them home!

> In his hand, he was unintentionally squeezing a blueprint that
> he planned to show his guests, if everyone was all right.
> Eventually, the group reached him.

MIKE: Through weeks of group therapy. Thank you!

> He could see they were struggling to lift
> something... What could it be? he wondered to himself, and then realized
> he already knew.

TOM: They picked up the week's supply of cheese.

> He summoned a soldier, who helped lift Magus onto a chocobo.
> "How is he?" he said, suddenly concerned again.

MIKE: [ Edgar ] I am concerned.

> "Not much better," said Terra as they walked around to the left tower, and
> into the room where she had once slept.

CROW: Oh, geez, he's even gonna be in her old bed!

> "We're not sure what to do for him.
> He keeps drifting in and out of consciousness."

CROW: [ Terra ] We think he's mocking us.

> She turned as they reached the door, and helped the others lift Magus. Edgar
> held the tower door open as they carried him inside and laid him on the bed.

MIKE: Wow, our author knows the difference between "lay" and "lie".
TOM: We're in good hands here, folks.

>
> As he stepped inside, Edgar said, "So, I guess this wouldn't be the best
> time to tell you about our little remodeling project?"
> "Your what?" Marle asked.

MIKE: [ Edgar ] We're replacing the infirmary with a dance floor.

> "Never mind," said Edgar. "I'll explain later."

CROW: But he didn't, because they died.

>
> * * *
>
> ONE MONTH LATER

MIKE: Wouldn't Crono's mom be pretty freaked out by now?
TOM: I'd worry more about Marle's dad.

>
>
> "Hey! Watch it! You're supposed to be remodeling the castle, not my face!"
> Edgar yelled, ducking just in time to avoid being hit in the head with a
> huge pillar, carried by none other than Sabin.

CROW: Then he stands up again and the other end hits him.

> "Sorry," Sabin said as he walked past, setting the pillar in place next to
> an ornately carved door which read 'Cafeteria.'

TOM: What is this, a castle or 7th grade?

> "I didn't see you there.
> Guess I'll have to be more careful."
> "Much more," Edgar muttered

CROW: [ Edgar ] Why did I hire that bozo?
MIKE: [ Sabin ] Because I'm your brother.
CROW: [ Edgar ] Oh yeah.

> as he continued on to his destination, a door
> next to the cafeteria door, one that read 'Infirmary.' He opened the door
> and walked inside, passing three rooms and the lobby, before coming to one
> with a closed door. He entered.

MIKE: Hey, did you see the "Do Not Disturb" sign, pal?

> Terra looked up from her seat beside Magus's bed. "Hi," she said dejectedly.
> She looked as if she hadn't slept in days. Marle, who was doing something
> on the far side of the room, looked up as well. Robo, who was on the side
> of Magus's bed opposite from Terra, didn't move, but his optical sensors

CROW: You mean his eyes?
MIKE: Let's not jump to conclusions.

> swiveled toward Edgar.
> "You know, you really should get someone to stay with him nights while you
> sleep," Edgar said gently as he crouched down beside Terra. "After all,
> he's been like this for a month.

TOM: [ Edgar ] He's starting to smell bad!

> Don't you think he might be..."
> "Please," Marle said. "Don't even say it. We're doing our best to help,
> and--" Suddenly, Marle stopped mid-sentence. She stared at Magus.
> "My sensors," Robo said, "register 90%

MIKE: [ Robo ] Off all mattresses at Crazy Ivo's Discount Outlet!

> consciousness...91%...92...

MIKE: We're dropping prices like mad!

> 95...
> 99...100%!

MIKE: We *must* be crazy to have such low prices, and you'd be crazy not to
take advantage of them!

> Magus is awake!"
> Magus groaned. It was a disgusting sound, but everyone was so happy they
> didn't care.

ALL: [ monotone ] Yay.

> Marle ran past them and burst through the infirmary doors. "He's awake!"
> she shouted. "Magus is up!"

TOM: We found the glitch in AUTOEXEC.MAG!

> Her voice caught the attention of Crono and company, who were just coming
> out of the cafeteria, as well as Mog, Cyan, Percy, Celes, and Sabin,

MIKE: The Teenage Witch.
CROW: This fanfic has more characters than the score from the H.M.S. Pinaford
has notes!

> who
> had heard her from outside. "What's up?" Mog called in his squeaky voice
> as he came in. "I think we heard you wrong. Did you say Magus is
> awake!?"

MIKE: [ Marle ] No, I said that the pudding has an odd green coating on top.

> "Absolutely!!" Marle jumped with joy.
> Crono and company rushed up to her. "He's really up?" said Crono.

TOM: [ Marle ] What did I just say?!
CROW: He's so up, he hit his head on the ceiling!

> "Yes! C'mon, let's go see him!" she said. She ran toward his room, and the
> others followed.

TOM: <thunk> OK, who shut the door?

> Terra was standing over Magus's bed, and mumbled a greeting as Marle and
> everyone entered.

MIKE: [ Terra ] Hello, you lousy sons of...

> Edgar stood at a distance, looking greatly relieved.

CROW: [ Edgar ] Oh, man, did I ever have to go!

> Magus looked up as they arrived. He was even paler than usual,

TOM: Is that possible? On a good day he looks like Observer!

> and he had
> dark circles under his eyes, but he was awake.
> Thank goodness, Marle thought as she approached his bedside.

CROW: And died.
MIKE: Will you cut that out?!

>
> * * *
>
> "Hello," Magus said hoarsely

CROW: Of coursely.

> as Marle, Glenn, Ayla, and Lucca approached.
> I must look horrible, he thought. I wonder how long I've been
> out?

MIKE: [ Magus ] I only meant to pick up some eggs!

> "You had us pretty worried for a while there," said a voice to his left.
> He turned, and discovered that the voice belonged to Terra.

TOM: Though Edgar liked to borrow it on occasion.

> "You were
> unconscious
> for a whole month! I hope you'll be okay now."

MIKE: Yeah, all illness disappears if the patient just wakes up.
CROW: Those medical problems? Whoosh, out the window.

> "Ditto," said Marle, who was just behind her. "In fact," she said with a
> grin, "I almost missed you. Things just haven't been as gloomy without
> you."

CROW: That'd be a better name for him. "Gloomy".
MIKE: Sounds like something you'd name one of your Oddballz.

> "Very funny," said Magus, who proceeded to cough like crazy.
> Marle smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," she said. "Uh...maybe you shouldn't talk
> for a while."
> Putting all his effort into it,

TOM: He fell asleep again.

> Magus tried to smile back. It really hurt
> his face--after all, his face muscles were completely un-exercised--but it
> did look halfway like a real smile.
> Marle's smile grew even larger.

CROW: Soon it grew to 50 feet and started attacking downtown New York.

>
> * * *

CROW: And there are the buildings right now.

>
> "Owww...ohh...don't do things like that!" Magus flinched as Lucca
> poked an unpleasant-looking needle into his side.

MIKE: I have yet to see a pleasant needle.
TOM: Maybe one with pink lace around the tip.

> "Well, sorry, but I have to take a blood sample," Lucca explained as she
> pulled the bloodstained needle out.
> "Oh, she's going to make me sick," Magus said mockingly. Terra, who was
> sitting
> at his bedside, giggled.

TOM: [ Terra ] Hee hee hee... wait, what was funny?

> Lucca grinned. "Since when do you have a sense of humor?"

MIKE: Since the author lost touch with reality and sanity.

> Magus's face regained its normal stern composure. "I have it when I need
> it," he said.

TOM: When do you "need" humor?
CROW: Hey, humor is essential for life.
MIKE: And we should know!

> Lucca stopped grinning. "I'll, um, get on with those blood tests," she said,
> and hastily walked away.
> "I think you ruined her fun," Terra said.
> Magus sighed. "I should really just forget humor entirely.

TOM: Um, forget what again?

> Crono and his
> friends aren't used to me telling jokes. In fact, I'm not used to me telling
> jokes."
> Terra laughed outright. "There goes another one."

CROW: You know, with each breath I take, 3 people on this planet go on to the
other world.
TOM: If I were you, I'd try breath mints.

>
> * * *
>
> With a wide backlash, Zarok cleanly cut the head off his practice dummy.

MIKE: Don't be a dummy. Buckle your safety AAAGH!!

>
> Funsworth and the woman general applauded politely. "Even better than your
> normal perfection, sire," the general said.

CROW: [ general ] Kiss-up.
TOM: [ Funsworth ] You got it, baby!

> Zarok leered, showing off every fang in his tooth-filled maw. "Well,
> m'lady, would you care to go a round with me?"

MIKE: Hey now.

> Zarok could feel the general leering back, though he couldn't see her face
> under her hood. "Absolutely, my lord. But first, let me remove this
> cumbersome
> cloak."

CROW: Whoa!

> Gauntleted hands came to her throat, where she undid a jeweled brooch, and
> the cape and hood slipped to her feet.

TOM: Shouldn't you take this somewhere private?

> Zarok's jaw dropped.

TOM: [ Zarok ] The heck?! She's nude!

> Her pearly-white boots, gauntlets, and skimpy torso armor

ALL: Whew!
CROW: She's wearing *something*, at least.
MIKE: If not much.

> perfectly
> contrasted
> her nearly white skin and sky blue ponytail,

TOM: Doesn't anyone in this story have normal-colored hair? Brown, perhaps?

> with small ears coming to
> delicate
> points.

CROW: She's a Keebler elf!

> From the bottom of her armor a wine-red loincloth hung, and from
> her matching belt hung a scimitar in a pearly-white scabbard.

MIKE: [ grandmotherly ] Don't pick at your scabbards, dear.

> The only flaw
> on her entire body

CROW: What, did he check?

> appeared to be a large scar which ran down one side of
> her face. However, Zarok couldn't escape the feeling that she'd look better
> in something purple...
> She unsheathed her sword, and beamed at him. "Well," she said, "what are
> we waiting for?"

TOM: Some sort of plot.

>
> * * *
>
> Janus ran miles through the shadows, but there seemed to be no end to the
> canyon.

MIKE: I call dream sequence.
CROW: Gotta be.

> Even so, he had to keep running, or Ozzie's father would catch
> up...

TOM: And he'd get such a spanking!

> Far away, he heard the sound of feet plodding on the ground.

MIKE: Plod plod plod plod plod.

> Was it Rennik,
> his father's royal pegasus, come looking for him? If so, that wouldn't be
> a surprise, since Janus was the only one who snuck him moonberries.

CROW: That's new. Berries with no pants.

> Then the sound started getting closer, and closer, until it was so loud that
> it sounded as if it were right behind him. Was it really Rennik?

TOM: Or was it Kinner?

> He didn't
> know, and he was afraid to look...but what if his father Lornan

TOM: Nanrol.

> had sent
> Rennik ahead? What if he was riding on Rennik right now, and would be angry
> if Janus didn't turn around?

MIKE: Well, *he's* a pretty sadistic father.
TOM: Expects the boy to read his mind...

> Janus couldn't stand it any longer. He turned around, and it wasn't Rennik,
> nor his father.
> It was a foe long since destroyed--

CROW: Well, obviously he wasn't.

> Nerre, the dirty-white looking Cloud
> Dragon,

TOM: I'm having flashbacks to an earlier Final Fantasy.

> defeated when Magus was no more than twelve.
> Wait.

MIKE: No, thirteen.

> Magus... Where had he heard that name before?

CROW: It's that guy from AA!

> The dragon's hideous mouth opened, and columns of flame hurtled toward
> Janus.
> Magus...

MIKE: [ Magus ] What do you want? I'm having a dream sequence here!

> The flames leapt closer, and closer...
>
> Magus woke up in a cold sweat.

CROW: Knew it.
MIKE: I said it first!

> Terra leaned over him. "Had a bad dream?"
> she whispered.

TOM: [ Magus ] Duhhh.

> He nodded. "Well, it's over now. Just go back to sleep," she
> said soothingly.
> "You're making me feel like a little kid," he whispered.

CROW: [ Terra ] Am not. Now sit up straight and eat your lima beans.

> She smiled. "Well, everyone ought to sometime."
> Magus fell asleep that night faster than he ever had in his life.
>
> * * *

MIKE: And on that pleasant note, we'll change the scene.

>
> End of Part 3

MIKE: To an authorial intrusion!

>
>
> Now that the general's identity is (nearly) certain,

TOM: If you're a Final Fantasy fanboy.
CROW: Or would it be Chrono Trigger?
TOM: Who knows? One of the two, probably.

> what dastardly plans
> does she have for Zarok, Magus, the Returners and the world? Find out in
> Part 4, coming soon!!!

CROW: About five minutes from now.

>
>
> Crono's long-legged stride quickly brought him down the wide corridor, into
> the spacious laboratory where Magus was being held.

MIKE: All right, Dexter, what'd you do with Magus?

> As he came in, ignoring
> Terra clashing swords with someone right in front of him, he gazed up at
> the huge magic-draining contraption on the wall.

CROW: How did he know what it is?

> Amid the mess of tubes and
> circuits, he saw Magus attached to it.

TOM: So this little teaser is giving us the entire plot of the last part.
MIKE: Seems so.

> He rushed around Terra to try and
> help Magus, but stopped as a blue-green bolt blew up one side of the
> machine.
> The spellcasters came rushing around from the right, ready for battle.
> Crono couldn't believe his eyes.

CROW: Cedric and Jamie--and they're meta-MSTing-mad!

> It was Slash and Flea.

MIKE: That's nice. [ Everyone gets up to leave ]

>
> * *

CROW: [ as they leave ] Mary had some roller skates,
On which she loved to frisk.
Now wasn't she a silly girl,
Her little...

> *

[ MST3K planet bumper. Commercials ensue. ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of part 5 of 6
Shay Caron (Shay_...@letterbox.com
-or-
glee...@aol.com)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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