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MiSTed- Mind Tribes part 2

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Currie1501

unread,

Sep 7, 1997, 3:00:00 AM9/7/97

I can't figure out a witty message for this part. Just read the
MiSTing.
_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_
(6...5...4...3...2...1...Theatre)

MIKE: I'm just waiting till John Agar comes along, and then I really will
kill myself.

>Saga three: Bright One
>
>Art work: Iva Vodrazkova, Prague, Czech.
>
>(Iva's picture is of a humanoid creature on a distorted staircase
>holding what seems to be it's own head in its arms.)

TOM: That looked like it hurt.
CROW(as headless creature): I guess they really did mean what they said
about keeping the safety cover on the saw at all times.

>
>These beings from the Central Civilization use intentionality as >an
>energy source for their existence.

TOM: Would you care to explain that theory, Mr. Psycho Website Writer?
MIKE: No, no, you have to support his maniacal, completely untested ideas.

>
The very existence of the >galaxy was
>a result of its being in relationship with thousands of other >galaxies
>all forming the cosmic web of life in the universe.

CROW: What does this have to do with intending to do something?

>
Life abounds
>throughout the universe, and comes to the galaxies from the >giver of
>movement to reflect its movement within itself using the >natural powers
>that gives birth to the stars.

MIKE: The stars' husbands got the whole thing on camera.

>
>The "Bright One" was enjoying the Milkyway Galaxy very much, >and had
>impregnated many of the smaller suns

ALL: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
MIKE: That must be why it enjoys it so much.

>
in the galaxy with her >manifested
>movements.

TOM: Wait a minute. "Her" manifested movements? This thing that
impregnates suns is a female?
MIKE: Mr. Webpage Author, it's high time we sat down and had a little talk
about mommies and daddies and ethereal beings.

> The energy of the Central Sun was, in a way, how
>consciousness was finally able to be created on all the satellite >suns
>in the galaxy. It was here in the Central Civilization's sun that >the
>"Bright One" was able to give birth

TOM: I thought the suns did that.
MIKE: Just don't think about it Tom. Your logic circuits'll never survive
the trauma.

>
once again to a new family >of beings
>that would reflect, and exchange all the vast mysteries and knowledge
>that the Giver of Movement, and the cosmic imagination would >allow.
>

CROW: Mike, there's really got to be an air vent somewhere that we could
wriggle through or something...
MIKE: I doubt it.

>The "Bright One" was a reflection of this Giver of Movement who >had the
>matrix of wonder connecting all her movements.

(Tom's head begins to spark and smoke dangerously)

TOM: Mike! Help! I'm shorting out! The silliness resistance circuits
are self-destructing!
MIKE: Hold on, buddy!
(Mike reaches over to Tom and switches him off)

>
Even the vast >cosmic
>imagination would have an affinity for movements that were so >delicately
>formed and creatively expressed.

(Crow's head begins to spark and flame as well)

CROW: OW! Mike, it's happening to me too!
MIKE: Don't worry!
(Mike switches Crow off)

>
After millennium upon >millennium, too
>vast to count and too long to remember, the "Bright One" decided >to take
>a tour into her universe of reflections to see how all the other
>starchildren were doing.

MIKE: Unh... uggg... nnnnnn...(Mike faints)

(Everyone snoring peacefully)

>"Bright One" Approaching

>(The Bright One is shown as the upper half of a woman whose >arms are
upraised and who's head has long spires projecting >from it.)

CROW: Hey... wha...(sees picture) AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
MIKE: Huh? What is it?
CROW: Whoopi Goldberg is God!
TOM: Either that or it's Godzilla vs. The Statue of Liberty.

>
>
>It would eventually be these children that would learn of this >cosmic
>imagination, and take it to other unknown star systems created >by the
>great giver of movement.

CROW: So... imagination equals kinetic energy then.
TOM: Well, it has to be intended first.

> The "Bright One"
was almost ready to >select an
>entire civilization that would journey with her into the vast >reaches of
>the stars.

MIKE(as Bright One): I need to head down to the Weigels and get some more
Pop-Tarts.

> Some of the best reflections which were developed
>over the
>millenniums would be assembled to form

CROW: A three-dimensional model of the White House.

>
what can only be >expressed as an
>enormous light sphere

MIKE: Cause it would just sound stupid if I expressed it as an enormous
stalk of glowing celery.

> filled with all the
reflections that >represented
>all the beings on this star ship called

TOM: The S.S. Minnow.

>
the Ether Ship. All the
>awareness and cosmic imagination from the giver of movement >were
>represented in this maiden voyage.
>
>Inside the ship the colors were fine tuned, and sounds were >intertwined
>to make all the beings well aware of their relationship with one >another

CROW: Eww, they're all inbred.

>on this the first universe crusier called the Ether Ship. The >colors in
>the main hall of the section of the Ether Ship, where the >lightworkers
>keep the reflections in tune for space traveling,

TOM: By intending to manifest their imaginations and impregnating their
discharges.
MIKE: TOM! Get off of those discharge jokes!

>
were beginning >to
>reflect off a myriad of geometric shapes which seemed to be >changing in
>new ways never seen by the light workers. The forward >civilization was
>about to come forth and create the great cosmic link of >understanding
>and awareness that the "Bright One" would make possible.

CROW: Then why are they doing this now if they can't without the Bright One?

>
The >"Bright
>One" infused her reflections throughout the whole star ship, and >the
>universe crusier's civilization members could sense her >emanations.

MIKE: Was she intending to emanate?
TOM: No, she manifested her imaginations when she was trying to impregnate
the infused civilizations with her reflections.

>
>Saga four: |Transmutation |

CROW: Will it mutate into a good story?

MIKE: I need a break.
CROW: A pause that will refresh?
MIKE: Nah, I just need to sit down and-
TOM: Discharge.
MIKE: Tom, enough with the discharge!

(1...2...3...4...5...6...Theatre)

MIKE: Dang, this is painful.
CROW: Let's call Manny and see if there's a way we can weasel out of it.

(Rome. Manny is trying to pry open the stuck helmet of Rico. He notices
the camera.)

MANNY: What you guys want? Busy.

(SoL)

TOM: We were just wondering if there were any odd jobs you might need done.

(Rome)

MANNY: Oh. Sorry, no. (tries prying open Rico's helmet again)

(SoL)

TOM: We've got a new arm for you...

(Rome. Manny glances at his prosthetic arm.)

MANNY: You wouldn't joke about arm, would you?

(SoL)

TOM: Why of course not. We've got the arm right here. (Mike's arm sticks
up from beneath the counter) See?

(Rome. Manny seems impressed.)

MANNY: Hmmmmm... how much?

(SoL)

TOM: Why, right now we're having a special on it. All you have to do is
turn off the website.

(Rome)

MANNY: That all? Sounds good to me. (begins pushing the buttons on his
prosthetic arm)

(SoL)

TOM: Yes! We pulled it off!
MIKE(rising up from under table): High five!
TOM: D'OH! Mike, you pink-skinned bag of stupid!
MIKE: What? Oh. Oh, crud.

(Rome)

MANNY(good-naturedly): Oh, this must be one of those funny jokes you
played on Gosphazha Forrester. Very nice!

(SoL)

TOM: Mike, have you ever, really, seriously given thought to the fact that
YOU'RE A COMPLETE IDIOT?!?!?!?
CROW: Mike, your stupidity hurts us, and we want to help you stop.
(net.loon Sign goes off)
MIKE: Well, you can cuss me out later cause WE GOT NET.LOON
SIIIIIIIIIIIGGGNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL:AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(6...5...4...3...2...1...Theatre)

TOM: High five, sheesh! I can't raise my arms above my head.
MIKE: Look, I said I was sorry.
CROW: No you didn't.
MIKE: Oh. Sorry.

>Saga four: Transmutation
>
>
>Art work: Birth of the Universe - Jean-Francois Colonna
>
>(The birth of the universe is a multicolored symmetrical >snowflake-like
thingie.)

CROW: No two births of the universe are exactly alike.

>
>The opening to the forward civilization had begun, and the >reflected
>light from all the geometric shapes merged,

CROW: In public?
MIKE: Crow...

>
and even though the
>lightworkers were familiar with their own part in the star ship >they now
>knew they were also the same as the rest of the star ship >members.

TOM: Except that the other colors were paid more and shunned the colors
that they considered lower than them.
MIKE(as lightworker): Hey, the Magenta Man's keepin' us down!

> The
>difference was in the colors and the sounds created all over the >hall.

CROW: You know, I'm sensing subtle overtones of a racial harmony and
equality sermon.
TOM: Yeah, subtle as a car going through a window

>Then, all at once, the entire ship became filled with layers upon >layers
>of mirror-like reflections, and a wondrous voice could then be >heard.

MIKE: My God! Elvis really *is* with the aliens!

>
>"We are above a small planet called Earth," the voice rang out >into the
>entire ship, "and we are here to look upon how our children are
>beginning to create reflected consciousness.

TOM(kid voice): I made this reflected consciousness out of macaroni at camp!
MIKE(as voice): We plan to hang their reflected consciousness on the
refrigerator of true cosmic sentience with a magnet of intelligent
interracial communication. Oh, and intention, imagination, and manifest.

>
Our children have >taken
>apart the energy that holds them together, and it has caused >great
>explosions, and has created a dangerous situation for their >wellbeing.

CROW(as voice): We plan to remedy this by annihilating their planet and
enslaving the remaining population.

>We are going to send several light ships to Earth to look at our
>childrens' activities, and I want you to decide which of you >would like
>to go forth. Our first visit to Earth will be directed by the green
>mirror field tonal star navigator Captain Van Flight".

MIKE(snickering): The *what*?
TOM: I think he's just yanking random words out of the dictionary now.

>
>This was a new time for the lightworkers to relate to. Slowly >new images
>would appear all around them, and new shapes could be seen in >the
>reflections.

TOM(as lightworker): Help man! I'm tripping!
CROW(as Tom in Incredibly Strange Creatures): Mike, I'm freaking out!
TOM: HEY!

> Slowly the entire ship began to take on a
different >shape.
>The shapes began to form a beautiful glass oval. Everywhere >were small
>scintillating mirrors all moving very rapidly with their >reflected
>lights.

MIKE: There holding a rave on the Battlestar Galactica.
CROW: Any minute now the loudspeakers will come on with the Chemical Brothers.

> Some of the reflections were slowing down, and long
>corridors
>and tunnels of clear blue and green shapes began to appear. >Then, in a
>strange instant,

TOM: What's a strange instant?
MIKE: It's the tiny instant in which you feel inclined to believe in this guy.

> everything became still, and there
hovering >above the
>Earth was a blue-green oval shape. Inside the great star ship

TOM(sarcasm mode): Oh, yeaaah, *you* have such a *great* star ship, with
all it's blue-green ovals and scintillating mirrors and stuff!

>more
>blue-green oval shapes began to form as well, and all the >reflections
>became walls and halls, and rooms and tall spires. It looked like >a city
>at night, but it was all glass-like, and transparent. Thousands >of small
>flickering lights could be seen everywhere.
>
>Raline looked at her new shape, and was so amazed to see Baruk >in his
>green colored robe.

CROW: She was even more amazed to see him out of it.
MIKE: Crow!

> "What has happened?" Raline
asked. Baruk >knew they
>had slowed their frequency levels down to a point of a new >density. "We
>are shapes," Baruk said.

TOM: Whip it! Into shape! Shape it up!

> "The light is still
inside us, but we have
>shapes so we can enter the Earth community." The lightworkers >stood
>silently by as they adjusted to their new surroundings. Baruk's >robe
>looked as if it was made of liquid green glass.

MIKE: Yeah, that's gonna fit in real well with the Earth community. A
bunch of guys who wear liquid green robes.

>
It was a time of
>astonishment as everyone was not in their reflected conscious >states,
>but were now physical entities. Strange ringing sounds could be >heard
>everywhere.

CROW: How nice, the church bell choir came over!

> All anybody knew was that there was a planet
>called Earth
>outside their vast star ship that was completely invisible to
>Earthlings.

MIKE: Earth is completely invisible to Earthlings?
TOM: No, the star ship is.
MIKE: That's going to cause a pretty interesting reaction when the Space
Shuttle slams into it.

>
>"We are now going to send our reflected consciousness to the >earth," was
>the voice that could be heard in every reflection of the star >ship.

CROW: I thought that the star ship was invisible.
TOM: Only to Earthlings.
MIKE: Then where are these reflections coming from?
TOM(exasperated): Look, I don't know. Maybe it's just poor wording.

>"These are our new children, and we must help them understand >how to use
>their awareness." Immediately all the lightworkers sent >reflected waves
>of thoughts to Earth.

MIKE: It caused a resultant flood of e-mail which altered AOL's
programming codes.
TOM: Suddenly, AOL worked, and the world rejoiced.
CROW: Wishful thinking, guys.

> Captain Van Flight was
selected from the >celestial
>civilization for the ability to create an entirely new field of
>reflected green light which represented the histories of the >Central
>Civilization.

CROW: So, aparently I could record a World History textbook on a nightlight?

> Through Captain Van Flight's geometric layers
and >light
>reflections, a method was established to keep the records >forever sealed
>in the Central Civilizations's memory fields.

MIKE: Yeah, but then Microsoft stole the graphical interface and left them
in the dust.

>
When the "Bright >One" came
>to the Central Sun, it was Captain Van Flight who became one of >the
>first reflected emanations to keep the Giver of Movement's >intentions
>recorded in the vast suns' reflected fields of light.

MIKE: So he's a really jazzed-up data entry guy.

>
These >intentions
>were put into a matrix of the Central Civilization's thought >forms. From
>each successive reflection, new lightbeings could be >manifested, and
>have the same access to the records.

TOM: There, they could be intended in the use of the cosmic imagination to
impregnate the tonal reflections.

>
In this way the Central >Sun would
>always hold the Giver of Movment's intention.

CROW: Gotta love that word.

>
Over countless >millenniums
>the Central Civilization grew to be one of the Giver of >Movements
>grandest portrayals of integrated intention

MIKE: Oooh, a new combination.

>
for the source of >life in
>the universe.

CROW: Oh yeah, and tonal.

>
>The "Bright One" was happy to come to this central sun with >billions of
>stars to share the Giver of Movement's vast understanding of >the
>universe.

MIKE: Yeah, she wants to impregnate them, too.
TOM: Would you cosmically imagine that it is her integrated intention to
impregnate their manifestation?
MIKE: Tonally so.

> The "Bright One" was looking for a sun that could,
over >time,
>begin to send out the Giver of Movement's intention into smaller >suns

CROW: By manifested reflections or tonal integrations?

> so
>that more of the mystery of the vast universe could be shared. >The
>universe crusier, called

TOM: Shorty by its friends,

> the Ether Ship, was
now ready for its >new
>mission: to help one of the Central Civilization's children grow >into
>star consciousness.

MIKE(singing): Let your children grow up wild...
CROW: Mike, I really wanted to get through the day wthout having to think
about _Silent Running_.

>
>On Earth the lightworkers' thoughts drifted over a small island->like
>town in the early morning hours. It was a town originally ruled >by an
>Indian chief called

TOM: Constantly by admiring women.

> Chief Nahant. Chief Nahant held
the mystery >that
>would eventually make Earth a new star civilization.

MIKE: Yep, whenever you feel your story's running low on mysticism, just
haul in the good ol' Native American folklore.
CROW(singing Yeha-Noa from that mood music thing that they keep
advertising on Sci-Fi): Hawa-neya-HAWA-HAWA...

>
>
>
>Saga five: |Nahant and the Princess |

TOM: And the pea.

(The screen begins to show the hyperlink scene)

TOM: Mike, can you see if we can get anything else besides the hyperlink scene?
MIKE: Maybe if I...(bangs on the screen. The Hyperlink scene changes to
show a screen that says, "A HISTORY OF UPSETTING MALE SWIM TRUNKS")
TOM: Huh?

(The screen begins to show the "dancing in the too-small shorts" scene
from Horror at Party Beach)

ALL: AUUUGHH!
TOM: Turn it back!

(Mike bangs on the screen again and it changes back to the hyperlink scene.)

CROW: I could really have done without that.

>Saga five: Nahant and the Princess

CROW: Of course, the same goes for this as well.

>
>
>In the early times of Earth's history there were previous visits >from
>the Central Civilization by exploratory crusiers which came to >Earth to
>begin many new projects that would make the planet habitable.

TOM: However, they never managed to get the water line hooked up.

>Many
>members of those early visits from the Central Civilization >were left
>behind to begin understanding the relationship Earth had to the >Sun and
>Moon, and how these heavenly bodies affected the Earth.

MIKE: I know some heavenly bodies that affected me.
CROW: Did you impregnate her matrixed manifestation of intention?
MIKE: No! I would've married her if I did that!

>
>One area where the Central Civilization landed was in the >Northern polar
>region of the Earth. It was here that the Mind Tribes could see >the
>stars very clearly, as well as the direction from which they >came from.
>In those early visits stones were used to construct elaborate
>observatories to mark the passage of the stars across the >heavens.

TOM: Odd how an incredibly advanced super-civilization has to move a bunch
of rocks around just to say "This star should be here".

> Soon
>these Mind Tribes populated the entire planet. Some chose >mountain tops
>to live, some in the hot jungles, some in the desert, and some >chose
>places very near the oceans.

MIKE: And of course we're going to hear all about Stonehenge, the
pyramids, and the Mayan ziggurats, and how they're all related.

>
>One such ocean tribe were the Algonquins. The Algonquins were >from a
>long lineage of celestial navigators who fled from the larger >continents
>where the secrets of the exact location of the star fields were >being
>destroyed by those who did not want the tribes to return home, >or tell
>others how to reach the Central Civilization.

TOM: Well, it's a crying shame that apparently this incredibly highly
evolved civilization has absolutely NO DEFENSIVE POWERS!!! (head smokes
furiously, small fires break out)
CROW: Whoa!

>
It was the >Algonquins who
>had kept the secret information alive about their origins from >the
>Central Civilization, and who had moved this secret to a small >island in
>the Northern Atlantic region. The name of the island was called

TOM: Ishmael.

>Nahant,
>which was a coded name for the Mind Tribes' origins.
>
>Northern arrived
>Heaven above
>New time

MIKE: So, the space aliens *and* the Algonquins speak perfect English then?
CROW: I always thought that it stood for Near A Hyperactive Anal Nougat Temple.
TOM: Yeah- *what*???

>
>
>Protected from the mainland, this ancient tribe established >their home
>throughout many millennia.

CROW: It took over ten thousand years just to get settled in?
MIKE: The women couldn't decide where to put the couch.
TOM: Mike, all the women on RATMM and ATM are going to want to slap you
silly after that remark, and I'm going to sit back and watch.

> They held the
entire history of their >arrival
>from the Central Civilization on this remote outpost in the >ocean. Many
>of the tribal members took different routes to save the secrets >gained
>from the original visitors of the Central Civilization. But it was >in
>Nahant that all the star charts were re-worked and saved, and >thus the
>island became known as Nahant.

CROW: Mike, this is hurting...
MIKE: We can make it buddy.

>
Inside the rocky island, caves >were made
>to house these valuable star charts. Deep inside the granite >island,

TOM(singing): Workin' on the coal mine, goin' down down down...

>vast tunnels were carved, and inside these tunnels far below >the
>pounding surf all the star charts were safely placed in sealed >stone
>vases.

CROW: Pretty complicated wine cellar.

> These containers were only known by the tribes' star
>navigators.
>Inside each container there was placed a small piece of metal >that could
>be detected only by those from the Central Civilization.

MIKE: Of course, if you stepped on it or kicked it you could probably
detect it pretty well too.

>
These >star
>charts would remain here for thousands of years, untouched, >until the
>right time...the New Time.

TOM: The New Time, Love, and Tenderness.

>
>The tribe knew they could not last forever on their small island, >and
>also knew that in the future there would be someone who would >take these
>star charts to the world so others could learn of their origins.

CROW: And that this person would make a silly website out of it.

>Few in
>the future would ever know what Nahant meant,

TOM: No Adding Heavy Abacuses, Naughty Toad.
MIKE: Night Antelopes Hold Answers Not Truthful.
CROW: I'm still sticking with my translation.

>
but that ancient >tribe
>knew that the New Time would eventually come when the return >of the
>Starship would once again bring the Heaven above to Earth.

TOM: And with it will come neat little buzzwords like manifested
integrated intentions and tonal reflective matrices.

>Nahant would
>be the secret outpost for the galactic message to be >transmitted back to
>the Central Civilization announcing that Earth was ready to >receive
>their celestial family.

MIKE: It's good to have your family in for holidays.

> It would take 11,000
years before the >message
>would finally be able to be sent home.

CROW: Yeah, AOL kept saying that the celestial network is busy.

>
>Planet Earth was slowly awakening to the mysteries of the >universe.
>Humans were asking more questions.

MIKE: Yeah, where have all the cowboys gone?
TOM: They didn't like the dance mix so they went into reclusion.

>
The controllers of the >planet were
>seeking answers to the origins of stars. Tribes all over the >planet
>could feel the threat to their ability to live by the moon and >stars.

CROW: Horoscopes had to fight for their jobs.

>The place in the galaxy where the great awareness took place >was slowly
>becoming revealed. It was in the direction of Vela that the >Bright One
>would navigate from. Vela was the signal star for coming to >Earth. Vela
>was only 1,300 light years away.

MIKE: Location, location, location.

>
Vela was beauty of intention,

CROW: YES! I *loooove* that word!
MIKE: It's like a personal friend to me now.
TOM: Please say that Vela was integrated to be impregnated by the matrices
of the manifest of the cosmic imagination!

>and the
>very field strength which kept the Mind Tribes together. The >Bright One
>would send her energy from here in the constellation Vela. Her >radiance
>has been felt for over 11,000 years. She was soon to appear >once again.

MIKE: The BRIGHT ONE COMEBACK TOUR!

>
>
>
>The secret knowledge of the Mind Tribes was slowly being >eradicated
>throughout the world.

ALL: Thank God.

> The knowledge passed down
was now >known by only a
>few tribal members. Temples the world over had been looted, >and few Mind
>Tribe members existed except in the most remote areas of the >Earth.

TOM(sarcasm mode): Why, that wouldn't include *Nahant*, would it?
MIKE: Sheesh, this whole site is sponsored by the Nahant Board of Tourism.

> One
>such area still holding the secrets of the star origins of the >Central
>Civilization was in the wooded mountains of the North. It was >in these
>mountains that a tribe lived for thousands of years, and one >generation
>of that tribe gave birth to a child in the spirit of the Bright One.

CROW: She was integrated into the radiant matrices when the manifestation
of the cosmic imagination intended to do so.

>Her
>secret name was Matoaca, and she too was an Algonquin. The >Algonquins
>knew the secret language that told of the origins of the Mind >Tribes,
>and Matoaca had learned all the secrets well. She also learned >that the
>world was slowly becoming dangerously near the point where >there would
>no longer be any more temples showing the mysteries of their >origins.

MIKE: The world was becoming dangerously sane!

> It
>was then that her very old father told her of the secret caves of
>Nahant.

CROW: She then intended radiantly to integrate herself there in its matrices.

> She must go to Nahant, and alert the Northern ocean
>outpost that
>something must be done to preserve, as well as transmit, this >ancient
>knowledge. She was also told the secret words:

MIKE: Nine Acres Held As Newt Transport.
TOM: Not A Hair Always, Now Tinkle.
CROW: Net A Heavy Agnes Nasty Turtle.
MIKE: Never Annex Hot Aerial Nasal Trinkets.
TOM: Neuter A Hummingbird And Never Toot.
CROW: Not A Hunter, A Nude Teenager.
MIKE: CROW!

>
>Northern arrived
>Heaven above
>New time
>
>
>It was princess Matoaca that made the journey from the >mountains to the
>great northern sea to find Nahant. Princess Matoaca knew she >must try to
>create a way that the secrets could be passed down through >time as all
>the places to learn of these secrets were slowly being >destroyed.

TOM: How about WRITING IT DOWN!!!

> Almost
>400 years would pass before the message could finally be >released. Soon
>the Mind Tribes would make contact once again.

CROW: Why couldn't they before exactly?
MIKE: The server was down.

MIKE: Oh, that was especially painful.
CROW: C'mon Tom, let's see if we can hot-glue your logic circuitry back in.

(1...2...3...4...5...6...Bridge. Mike and Crow are standing over next to
the Hexfield.)

MIKE: Where's Tom?
CROW: Letting the glue cool off.
MIKE: He better not be using my bathtub again. Hey, someone's on the Hexfield.

(Hexfield opens. Behind it is a calm, serene individual who looks like a
green tonal mirror field.)

CROW: Oh cool, it's Captain Van Flight!
FLIGHT(who sounds oddly like Kevin Murphy): Greetings, Earthlings. I have
come to bestow upon you the history of the Central Civilization, in it's
integrated forms of intended matrices manifesting themselves to-
CROW: Did you intend to?
FLIGHT: Yeah, sure. Anyway, I want to share with you the history of our
mighty culture through the tonal reflections of impregnation.
MIKE: Well, lay it on, then.

(Flight shines a green flashlight on them.)

FLIGHT: There, that should do the trick.
MIKE: Uhhh... how?
FLIGHT: Remember how I could transmit the history of my race through a
special green light?
CROW: Yeah...
FLIGHT: Well, that was it!
MIKE: Um... no it wasn't.
FLIGHT: Whaddya mean no it wasn't?
MIKE: I don't know what this Central Civilization thingie is. The
flashlight didn't work.

(Flight gives them a long, hateful stare.)

FLIGHT: Are you trying to start something?
MIKE: No, I'm just saying that the flashlight didn't seem to have any real
effect on me.
FLIGHT: Don't you give me backtalk, mister. I may be a tonal reflection
of green mirrored scintillating light, but I could whup your-
CROW: Hey, back off you two! All that Mike is saying is that the
flashlight didn't transmit the histories of the Central Civilization, and
you, Mr. Flight, are saying the exact opposite. Agree to disagree.
FLIGHT: Well... all right, but I still have a much cooler spaceship than
yours!(closes Hexfield)
MIKE: I can't believe we let him get away with that.

(A rust-covered Tom enters.)

TOM: Thanks for the great advice, Crow. By the way, Mike, I saw some
nasty rust stains in that tub. I think you should get out the Formula 409
and get that tub looking spit-shined pretty soon, or it might meld with the
tile grout.

(Mike's face contorts with barely surpressed rage. He slowly moves to
strangle Tom, when net.loon Sign goes off.)

ALL: AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! WE GOT NET.LOON
SIIIIIIGGGGNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

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