[MISTING] A Pantheon of Pointlessness (1/1)
Amanda Van Rhyn
"Camereon the Evil", "Kidnapped", and "Sheepskin"
[Theme Song, Door Sequence]
[Scene: SoL Bridge. Noone is out, and there aren't any lights on.
Suddenly, assorted sirens and klaxons - like a loud version of the Mads
Sign -
start going off. Crow, Tom Servo, and Gypsy rush onstage.]
CROW: Hey, what's happening?! It's the middle of the night!
GYPSY: I don't know! It sounds kinda like we're being hailed...
TOM: OK, Gyps, you go make sure there's not a hull breach or
something.
We'll go get Mike.
GYPSY: Roger!
[They all rush offstage, with the alarms still blaring. After a
short
pause, Mike (in pajamas, looking thoroughly half-awake), Crow, and Tom
rush
back in.]
MIKE: <woozily> OK, guys, why'd you wake me up?!? It's 3 a.m....
CROW: <rushed> Mike, all these alarms and sirens went off -
MIKE: <interrupting> I can hear that.
CROW: <continuing hastily> - and we all got real scared and Gypsy
was
freaking out and so we woke you up!
MIKE: Um, OK. Why don't I get it then?
[Mike hits the Mad Light. Abruptly, all the alarms cease. Dr. F and
Frank appear on the hexfield.]
[Deep 13]
DR. F: Hello, boobies! And how are you doing this fine morning?
[SoL]
MIKE: Ugh. Why'd you call, Dr. F? And why now?
[Deep 13]
DR. F: Well... you know, evil plans wait for no Mad, and there's no
excuse to waste time on your scheme for world domination. Besides,
I
just couldn't wait to share the "good" news. Frank managed to save
himself a lot of pain.
FRANK: Yep yep! That's right, Steve!
[SoL]
MIKE: I'm not going to ask how, but somehow I feel you're going to
tell
me.
[Deep 13]
DR. F: Oh, of course. League rules for we mad scientists. Anyway,
Frank
here was "surfing the Web", as the young folks say today, and he
found
a certain fan's site called... well, "Megara's Garden"...
[SoL]
CROW: Oh, please don't say it...
[Deep 13]
DR. F: I've got to say it, little gold victim, so don't be too
hurt.
It's a site with fanfiction about Disney's "Hercules". And Frank,
loyal
second banana that he is, managed to find you boys three *painful*
little short fanfics. I just got so excited I had to tell you now!
[SoL]
MIKE: For the love of Joel! Dr. F, you've finally done something
deeply
and truly evil. I'd applaud, except that my head hurts.
[Deep 13]
DR. F: Not half as much as it's *going* to hurt, Mikey me boy.
Frank,
oh second banana of mine -
FRANK: Yes?
DR. F - *do* send the boys their early-morning fanfic. Wakey wakey,
boys!
Get up and smell the HURTING!
[SoL]
TOM: Oh no. We've got SHORT-FANFIC SIGN!
[6]
[5]
[4]
[3]
[2]
[1]
(M&TB sit down in their usual seats.)
TOM: <nervously> Well, it can't be *that* bad, can it? After all,
it's
short...
CROW: Um, doesn't that mean that the pain can only get more
concentrated?
SERVO: Point taken. This is gonna hurt.
> "Camereon the Evil"
MIKE: Gee, kids, can we guess the antagonist?
> "Oh come on Meg give me a chance here." The tall Cameroen asked Meg.
TOM: Asked her *what*?
MIKE: Oh, please don't tell me this fic requires grammar-flaming
this
early...
CROW: Well, the author can't even spell the protagonists's name
right?
"Cameroen"?
> "Look,I told you,I have a boyfriend. Besides I've given you 20 chances
> already." Meg replied. Cameroen was in love with Meg. He'd do anything to
> marry her.
MIKE: Oh, look, foreshadowing. Yaaaaaay.
TOM: Mike, are you OK?
MIKE: I'm sorry... I really don't appreciate being woken up in the
middle of the night to read bad Hercules fanfic...
> "C'mon don't tell me you still like Jerkules."
>
> "Yes, I do." Meg replied to him.
CROW: <Camereon> I told you not to tell me! What part of "don't"
don't
you understand?
> "If Herc were to die, would you marry me?" He asked.
TOM: Wow! God asked that?!
MIKE: <scripture voice> And the Lord God came down from Heaven to
Bizarro Greece, and He did deliver unto Camereon the gift of dull,
unoriginal foreshadowing...
> "Yes, probably."Meg answered. She really wouldn't marry him if that were to
> happen.
CROW: <Megara> You know, seeing as he's probably going to kill
Hercules
now, I really shouldn't have done that. Oh, well, I just like
playing
with his mind.
> She just wanted Camereon of her case.
MIKE: Camereon the Lawyer, now doing pro bono work "of" Megara's
case.
> She turned around to relize
CROW: Re-lized? Has she ever lized in the first place?
> he ws gone!
TOM: I'm losing my touch. I can't even think of a grammar riff for
that...
> Herc was going through his training with Phil. Phil was teaching him how to
> hide.
MIKE: <ala Monty Python> How not to be seen.
> "Phil,what good is hiding from monsters gonna do?" He asked his trainer.
CROW: <Phil> Well, then the monsters won't grind you into little
bleeding pieces. Actually, in your case, being ground into little
bleeding pieces would be a good thing.
> "Who said anything about monsters,this helps get away from your fans.
MIKE: <stiltedly> Ha ha ha ha ha. The fanfic made a funny.
TOM: It really is too early in the morning for you, isn't it?
> Herc...HELLO!"
CROW: Isn't it a little late in the fanfic for sudden
introductions?
> But Herc was no longer concentrating, a man with a bow and arrow was
> standing on a hill,
TOM: Hey, look, it's the grassy knoll!
MIKE: The Lone Bowman...
> his arrow aimed at Herc, and shot. It zipped through his hair. He fainted
> from shock.
CROW: <Hercules> NOOOO! Not the 'do!!
> Phil ran off to hide.
MIKE: <Phil> Hi. As the foil, I'm obliged to run off and be a wuss
every time anything dangerous happens so that the hero can look
braver.
Thank you!
> The man was Camereon.
TOM: <sarcasm sequencer> No, REALLY?
> He smiled and ran of.
>
> Meg was sitting on a rooftop
CROW: A rooftop?! Why?!?
MIKE: Don't question the plot convenience, Crow...
> watching the sunset.
TOM: <announcer voice> The sunset's at the 40... the 30... the
20... it
could go all the way!
> A hand touched her shoulder.
CROW: <poetry-reading voice> She knew the hand was upon her...
> It was Camereon.
TOM: The hand was Camereon? Does this make him any relation to
Thing?
> "Meg,I know this will be hard for you. But Hercules...is...dead."
MIKE: <Camereon> And... in... memoriam... I'm... talking... like...
Kirk.
> Meg didn't believe him,and slapped him to ground. He got up, and tried to
> kill Meg.
TOM: But she just slapped him off the rooftop... and he loves her
anyway.... must not think about fanfic! Must not think!
CROW: That's more like it, buddy!
> But somone punched him it was Herc who had regained consiousness.
MIKE: <Hercules> See? I'm a hero! Not only am I able to regain
consciousness from shock within 30 seconds, but I can also
telepathically tell when my girlfriend is in danger! All this and I
make
julienne potatoes!
CROW: <announcer voice> How much would *you* pay?
> Camereon fell off the roof and died.
TOM: Camereon... he lived as he died... pointlessly and through
great
contrivance.
> Meg kissed Herc. He fainted,
CROW: Yep, Hercules is just your standard-issue squeamish hero.
> and fell off the roof on top of Camereon.
MIKE: And, through the wonder of contrivance, survived what had
been
previously proven a fatal distance to fall... all this at 3 a.m.
The
Mads really do hate us.
> Meg giggled. "Men are so dumb." Then she left.
TOM: ... and fell off the rooftop and died. The End.
CROW: Strangely, that really was the end of that fic... uh oh, the
next
one is coming in! Brace yourself!
> "Kidnapped"
MIKE: Let me guess, that's the entire plot right there.
> The sun rose over Thebes.
TOM: It was a bright new day in Knothole Village...
> Meg and Hercules were asleep in Hercules villa.
CROW: Hercules Villa? A new attraction at EuroDisney?
> Just then Meg Heard the neighbors Chickens clucking so she woke up.
MIKE: <chicken> Cock-a-doodle-crap!
TOM: Did they even have chickens in ancient Greece?
CROW: Yup. The rare breed known as Contrivance Blues.
> She gently shook Hercules. "Time to get up," Meg said.
>
> "But Phil, I'm not through with him" Hercules mumbled in his sleep.
MIKE: Now there's an odd little statement for you.
CROW: <Hercules> But readers, it's not making sense...
> Meg sighed and ignored the dream Herc seemed to be having, and looked into
> the reflestion 'sink' .
TOM: <Megara> Many things I can command the Mirror to reveal...
MIKE: <cockney accent> There's some devilry at work in the Shire!
I must go home!
CROW: The Mirror of Galadriel Sketch, everyone! Thank you! We'll be
here all fanfic.
MIKE: <still cockney> Someone's going to catch it hot!
TOM: <normal voice> Cool it, Samwise. The sketch died on its own.
MIKE: Oh, never mind! I can't work with you people!
CROW: Seriously, folks, this is a demonstration of exactly why you
shouldn't work with an organic in the middle of the night.
> "Ahh! my hair is a mess!"
TOM: Oh, look, Megara finally came out of denial about her hair...
CROW: Come on! Megara looking in the mirror and realizing her bad
hair
lifetime is like me looking in the mirror and realizing I'm a
robot!
> Meg comed
MIKE: Gahh! Is this becoming a lemon?
TOM: No, that would be "cummed".
> her hair and then looked in the cupboard." looks like Grape leaves and
> pitas are all we have".
CROW: Uh oh, looks like time for a trip to Fred Meyericles.
> "Tough Baklava, it looks like that's what we're havin' then"
MIKE: Very observant... baklava made with grape leaves and pitas
tends
to be tough...
CROW: Listen, Mike, howzabout next time the Mads call at night we
let
you sleep?
MIKE: That would be nice.
> said a voice.
TOM: Magic Voice!
MAGIC VOICE: I was young and needed the money, OK?
> "Oh Phil! You scared me!" Meg said as she turned around.
CROW: She knows it's Phil before she sees him, yet before he was
just
an unidentified "voice"?
MIKE: Megara has eyes in the back of her head, you know. The hair
covers them up.
> "And by the way, you two have a dinner invitation on Olympus tonight. Some
> pesky winged God reminded me at all hours last night."
TOM: <Phil> Who gave him the idea for the whole burning bush gag,
anyway?
> Phil said with a mouth full of pita.
>
> "Good Morning" Herc said (flatly)
MIKE: Well, he *is* two-dimensional.
> as he walked in. He didn't look that awake, his sweat band was all tangled
> in with his hair and his cape wasn't fully connected.
CROW: Hercules sleeps in his uniform???
TOM: No comment.
> "It's nice to see you too," Megara answered sarcastically.
MIKE: <Megara> By the way, I'm leaving you for Ajax. Such a nice
boy.
> "Sorry."
>
> "Here let me help you." Meg said. She took his sweat band and put it on
> him correctly. And she reattached his cape.
CROW: Oh, I'm really impressed with a hero who can't even put his
clothes on by himself...
> Before she they down,
TOM: Awooga! Complete Clause Breakdown!
> the two kissed and got their food.
CROW: Got their food by kissing? Is this anything like the mother
penguin feeding its young by regurgitation?
MIKE: Oh, *that's* a pleasant image.
> "Oh Yeah, Your parents invited us to dinner tonight." Meg told Hercules.
>
> "That's nice, I have nothing Going on today but one appearance at the
> 'Hercules Store' past the market" Herc said Happily
TOM: The tragedies caused when an author suddenly runs out of
punctuation in mid-sentence...
CROW: Take it easy on the grammar flames, Tommy Boy.
TOM: But... they're so easy!
> "I will be in the market with Amphitryon, since I don't have a ride. i
> really don't feel
MIKE: Look, the fanfic just got taken over by e e cummings!
> like being shoved around and questioned by reporters about you today so...."
>
> "Good Idea, I'll see you this afternoon in the garden at IV"
CROW: IV? By the ivy, or by the intravenous medication, or what?
TOM: I think the author's trying to be clever by using Roman
numerals.
CROW: But Greeks and Romans aren't the same!
TOM: You tell the author that...
> Said Hercules kind of rushing "Bye" with that and a peck on Meg's
> cheek, Herc and Phil were gone.
MIKE: You know, Tom, you're right. Grammar-flaming this fic is like
shooting fish in a barrel with a laser-sighted semiautomatic.
> Meg decided to get to the market before it got too crowded so she left too.
>
> * * * *
CROW: Starry, starry night...
> When the sundial showed IV
MIKE: <singing> ... we'll be going strong and yelling for more!
We're
gonna rock around the sundial tonight...
> Hercules showed up at the garden. Meg had been waiting there for a while,
> but Herc was still on time. The couple embraced briefly and then they went
> through that whole how did your day go thing.
TOM: <author> It's not as if I have to describe it to you or
anything!
> Then within ten minutes the couple mounted Pegasus
ALL: Gahh!
CROW: "Pegasus's Lover"?
TOM: Oh, no! It's Hercules the Super-Saiyin Hermaphrodite! Run for
it!
MIKE: What are you guys talking about?
CROW: You don't want to know.
> and they were off to Olympus. When they arrived on Olympus they saw Zues
> and Hera waiting for them. Dinner was ready so they sat in a lovely dining
> room with all the other Gods and Goddesses and talked, especially about
> Herc's latest events and victories.
MIKE: <Zeus> Yeah, we're all gods and goddesses, and we do a lot of
interesting things, but forget that! How's your boring, mundane
life on
Earth?
> After dinner, Herc sat down with Meg and started: "Meg I love you and (he
> dug down in his pocket for the ring)
CROW: <Hercules> Yesss, Precioussss...
TOM: <Hercules> We like saying our stage directions in third
person,
don't we, Preciousss?
> I want to know if......."
MIKE: <Hercules> ... you'd help me renovate the Dwarf Bread Museum!
CROW: Oh, come *on*. Carrot could take Hercules without blinking!
> Just them two lions showed up
TOM: And we have sudden, completely unbelievable contrivance!
> and bound Meg.
CROW: Wait... how does a lion with no opposable thumbs bind
someone?
MIKE: Maybe it's Lion-O.
TOM: Oh, please no Thundercats crossover...
> Hercules tried to punch them but
MIKE: ... he made his fist the wrong way and broke his thumb?
> his fist went through the lion as if he were a ghost. They took Meg down
> off mount Olympus and kept going down further.
TOM: <sarcasm sequencer> Oh, no, I thought if they were going down
Mt.
Olympus they'd go up further and further! Silly me!
> "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Hercules screamed. but he was helpless.
CROW: <Hercules> What do you expect of me? I can't even put on my
own
clothes!
> Meg had just been Kidnapped
ALL: Dunh dunhh DUNNNNHHH!
> and he was helpless. As he looked down in the reflestion pond
TOM: Look, there's the "reflestion" pond again.
MIKE: Can we try the Mirror of Galadriel skit again now?
TOM: No, Mike. Give it up.
> the reflection of Two Demons,
CROW: "The Reflection of Two Demons"? Sounds like the sequel to
_Black Elk Speaks_.
> Pain and Panic appeared with Meg, bound and suffering.
MIKE: <Pain and/or Panic> Ow! We're really suffering! We can't
swim!
> "Hades will love to be free, and now we have the little charm
CROW: Little Charms - they're magically delicious?
> to free him!!" They said. Hercules could not stand to see Meg suffer so he
> turned his head.
TOM: <Hercules> Must... go... into... denial...
> "Say Wonder Boy You better get down here to save her!!"
MIKE: Yeah, he tried to save her before, but there was an error
reading
drive A.
> The two laughed.
TOM: Sounds like a cue for evil cackling...
ALL: <Pain and Panic> Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
> Hercules clenched his teeth
CROW: <Hercules> I wet 'em!
> and tried to hold back both tears and anger
MIKE: <Hercules> Do you expect me to talk?
TOM: <Pain and/or Panic> No, Hercules! I expect you to die!
> "Believe me I will!" He said through clenched teeth, but he could not hold
> it.
CROW: <Hercules> I wet 'em again!
> Hercules burst out in tears.
MIKE: <Hercules> I never wanted to be a hero anyway...
TOM: <Hercules> I wanted to be...
ALL: <Hercules> a LUMBERJACK!
> Three words: To Be Continued
TOM: ... or not.
CROW: Well, that's two down, one to go... next crummy fic coming
in!
> "Sheepskin"
MIKE: <documentary-narrator voice> The torrid tale of Little Bo
Peep's
underground pornography industry...
> Author's Note: This story takes place 6 months after the end of the movie.
CROW: And we start out with chronological retcon. Nice.
> This use of Disney names and characters is unauthorized.
MAGIC VOICE: "Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all characters,
settings,
situations, etc. thereof are copyright Best Brains Inc. All rights
reserved."
TOM: What was that?
MIKE: Search me.
> Sheepskin:
CROW: Oh, look, there's that pesky title again.
> Meg was dallying around the fountain in her garden.
MIKE: <Megara> In retrospect, I shouldn't have put bubble bath in
the
fountain... and that quick-set cement was a bad idea too.
> Staring into the spray, contemplating the meaning of life.
CROW: 42?
TOM: Screw the meaning of life! She should be contemplating why
that
sentence has no subject!
> She felt like screaming, loud.
MIKE: <Megara> I am woman, hear me screech!
> She had never been so bored in her life! At least when she was with Hades
> she was doing something,
CROW: Sayy... you can read many things into that statement.
> now she felt as if she had sold her soul to the life of luxury.
TOM: <Megara> I shoulda gone Faustian after all! At least that way
I'd
be able to ponder my eventual ruin and damnation...
> "What am I supposed to do," thought Megara, "lounge around on a
> couch having servants dangle bunches of grapes over my head all day?
> No Way!!!"
MIKE: <Megara, surfer> Duude, I'm just like not into the while
luxury
thing, ya know, duuuude...
> And Herc, of course, was off killing some monster or another. She couldn't
> even pronounce the last one.
TOM: <Megara> Y'know, seeing as I'm an ancient Greek citizen and
all, I
should be able to pronounce ancient Greek words... nah.
> Meg scowled as she tramped around the statues,
CROW: <Megara> Fee, fi, fo fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!
> not even paying attention to where she was going any more. When she tripped
> on a rock, Meg looked down, preparing to give it a good, hard kick. She
> was ready to vent her anger.
MIKE: <Megara> I'm mad as Hades and I'm not going to take it
anymore!!
> But instead of a bit of rubble,
TOM: Barney, Betty, or Bam-Bam?
> Meg found herself looking at a statuette no larger than a little finger.
> Had Meg looked closer, she would have seen the incredible detail and
> wondered at the near impossibility of carving it on a piece so small. But
> Meg didn't need to look, she recognized it. It was the same small statuette
> that only until recently had haunted her dreams nearly every night.
MIKE: Hercules II - Curse of the Oobie Doll!
> The same small statuette that Jason had given her.
CROW: WHOA! And we have ancient Greek crossover!
> * * *
TOM: Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
> In a rich palace at the southern end of Greece another young woman named
> Medea
MIKE: Oh, let's not drag an actual good piece of drama into this...
please.
> was searching through her trunks looking for a small trinket that aids in
> the casting of spells
CROW: <Medea> Where'd I put that pesky eye of newt?
> It's nothing important, really, just the image of a bear carved in a piece
> of lapis.
MIKE: It answers to the name "Ruxpin", and it's allergic to bee
stings.
Have you seen this bear?
> It's not even that powerful, just helpful
TOM: Its turn-ons include slow music and long walks on the beach...
> and Medea was annoyed that she couldn't find it.
>
> "Where is that stupid charm," she muttered aloud.
CROW: <Medea> And where are my blue diamonds, green clovers, yellow
moons, orange stars, pink hearts, and purple horseshoes anyway?
MIKE: Don't forget the red balloons!
> Just then the tip of her finger brushed against a thin, blue ribbon. "Aha!
> There you are!,"
TOM: It's not a good sign when a magic-user starts talking to her
amulets.
> Medea cried. But pulling on the tape did not reveal the amulet, but
> something Medea hadn't seen in years. It was the silver pendant that had
> belonged to her mother, who had died when Medea was born. Medea's father
> had passed on the love knot to Medea when she was 13 and it hadn't left her
> neck for four years. She had cast it off when she had met Jason.
MIKE: Wait a second... but she didn't meet Jason until his voyage
with
the Argonauts... and Hercules was an Argonaut... but in this story
he's
too young to have been an Argonaut! They've completely mangled
Greek
mythology!
CROW: Fanboy.
MIKE: Hey!
TOM: Really, Mike, what did you expect? It's based off of a
freaking
Disney movie... why would you expect them to actually get anything
right?
MIKE: Good point.
> All for Jason she had forsaken her home and her country, had caused
> countless murders and gruesome deaths. All of the power that once had been
> practical, kind, and good was now transformed into black magic.
TOM: And Medea learned almost too late that man was a feeling
creature...
> All of this had given her the title of witch
CROW: <Monty Python peasant voice> She's a witch! BURN HER!
> (Not undeservedly, she mused)
MIKE: <Medea> I really do weigh the same as a duck!
> and had exiled her to a remote land in a foreign country. So that now,
> when she tried to cure a mere toothache that one of her two boys had
> contracted, she had to resort to simple symbols carved in stone to focus
> her powers.
CROW: Losing your magic power is like a fire raging inside you...
> And time and time again, her mind would wander to the image of an aging
> king she had hardly known cut up into bits, his blood nearly filling the
> cauldron from his own kitchens.
TOM: <Medea> And Hannibal foisted me with all the cleanup
afterwards...
but at least he brought the fava beans and the Chianti.
> She had gotten his own daughters to butcher him,
MIKE: <daughter> Gee, Medea, are you sure that nice Dahmer guy will
pay
attention to us now?
> thinking that afterwards, Medea would restore him to his youth and health,
> only to find Medea gone in the morning. It probably wasn't a very painful
> or lingering death, his daughters had cut off his head first. There were
> many, much more horrible deaths Medea had caused, but this was the only one
> she had witnessed.
TOM: <Medea> Tee hee, violence and gore is fun!
> Not paying attention, Medea jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
CROW: Gahh! "Camereon" flashback!
MIKE: <ala Monty Python> Tonight on "It's the Mind" we examine the
phenomenon of deja vu...
> "Oh, Jason,' she said, throwing herself onto the tall, rugged man with a
> nearly russet tan and a dark mass of curling locks.
TOM: Y'know, somehow I just don't buy Medea as a sex kitten.
> She held him tightly, thinking, "Yes, yes it was my fault and I'd do it
> again. I'd slaughter every person in this house if it would make Jason
> happy.
MIKE: <Medea> Of course, since he's in the house he'd be dead too,
but
at least he'd be happy!
> Yes, I'd do it again. And not just for Jason, but for love , for passion.
> Yes," Medea thought, calming down." Yes. Yes. I would do it all again.
TOM: <Medea, singing> I would do anything for love... but I won't
do
that!
> PART 2 COMING SOON!
CROW: Oh, let's hope not.
TOM: That's it! It's over! Woohoo!
MIKE: Let's get outta here!
[1]
[2]
[3]
[4]
[5]
[6]
[Scene: SoL Bridge. Mike is holding a bowl of RAMchips.]
MIKE: Well, guys, to try to derive a small bit of meaning from
these
fanfics, we're going to play Good Thing/Bad Thing. Remember, you
only
need one good thing and one bad thing, and "It was short" doesn't
count
as a valid good thing, OK? All right, Servo, you go first.
TOM: OK... the good thing was that, at least in the case of
"Sheepskin"
and "Kidnapped", there was a possibility of the story continuing
and
maybe, possibly acquiring a point. The bad thing is that, since any
such continuation remains to be seen, it probably won't happen, and
the
stories will just keep sucking!
MIKE: Good job, Tom! Here's your RAMchip. (He hands a RAMchip to
Tom.)
TOM: <excited> Numnumnumnum...
[Tom rushes offstage.]
MIKE: OK, Crow?
CROW: Well, the good thing is that, because of their interest in
_Hercules_, there is a vague chance the authors of these fanfics
will
get into real Greek mythology and maybe learn something from this
whole
debacle. The bad thing is that, well, given their knowledge of
grammar
and spelling on average, they're not really the studious types, at
least
when it comes to English.
MIKE: Good job. Here, take a RAMchip and join Servo in the revelry.
[Mike gives Crow a RAMchip, and Crow rushes offstage to join
Servo.]
MIKE: (sighs) Ah, kids. Robotic kids maybe, but kids. So, what do
you
think, sirs?
[Deep 13. Dr. F looks... well, unhappy. Frank looks nervous.]
DR. F: Frank, I am *severely* disappointed. You told me those fics,
sent at this time of night, would break them for sure! And now
this...
FRANK: But... Steve, it should have worked! It always works!
DR. F: Well, Frank, I'm sorry. You had your chance, and you wasted
it.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to take extreme action. To the Device
With Many Sharp Pointy Edges, Frank!
FRANK: (sighs) Yes, Dr. F.
DR. F: But first... push the button.
FRANK: Yes, sir. (He pushes the button.)
*FWOOSH*
FRANK: <offstage> Does this mean you won't kill me now, Steve?
DR. F: Oh, Frank, I'm disappointed. I thought you knew me better
than
that...
[The Love Theme begins and the credits roll.]
MiSTing - "A Pantheon of Pointlessness"
(Stories: "Camereon the Evil", "Kidnapped", and "Sheepskin")
MiSTed by Amanda Van Rhyn
"Camereon the Evil" by Apollo; "Kidnapped" by Athena (Allie)
"Sheepskin" by an unknown author
None of the authors had listed e-mail addresses or real names. If
you
know, please tell me so I can give these people rightful credit for
their work.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 created by Joel Hodgson
Hercules, in his current incarnation, (C) Disney.
[Disclaimer: Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all characters,
settings,
situations, or anything else thereof are copyright Best Brains, Inc. All
other copyrighted things mentioned in this MiSTing are (C) their owners.
All
rights reserved. The stories MiSTed are copyright their authors, and
they can keep 'em. No insult is meant to the stories or their authors.]
[Legal Stuff: This MiSTing is copyright Amanda Van Rhyn and Fevered
Little Minds Productions, 1998. This MiSTing can be distributed freely
provided you ask me about it first, keep it attributed to me and the
original authors, and don't mutilate it. Meta-MiSTing is not
mutilation.]
> But Herc was no longer concentrating, a man with a bow and arrow was
> standing on a hill, his arrow aimed at Herc, and shot. It zipped through
> his hair. He fainted from shock.