MSTed: "A New Generation" [6/10] (Ratliff)

[Jamie Plummer]

Mike: Hey guys, what do you have there?

Crow: I @created the Kid's Crew playset!

Tom: Crow, you didn't @create anything! Mike, some of the wires here in this
Radford Internet satellite got crossed, and some thread called "LEAST
requested toys" unraveled in here.

Mike: Tom, what are you babbling about?

Tom: Just play along, Nelson.

Mike: Okay, then. I *was* wondering what that Tickle Me Torgo was doing here.
Crow, who do you have there?

Crow: This is the Jay Gordon figure. Look how anatomically correct he is.
He's had his manhood removed and everything!

Mike: Ouch. Tom, how about you?

Tom: Oh, I've got the first series Jackie Picard. Not only does she wet
herself, she commands a fighter squadron!

Crow: C'mon Mike, JOIN US!

Mike: I'd love to, but it looks like we have fanfic sign.

[6-5-4-3-2-1]

> Chapter Five

Mike: Okay guys, I guess we're about halfway through now...

>
> Marrissa surveyed her bridge from the command chair, the bridge
> of the Enterprise.

Crow: It's *good* to be da Marrissa!

> True it wasn't the first Enterprise she had served
> on, or even the second, but she was finally in command of the Enterprise.
> Not just for a shift, or by some misfortune of the regular CO, no, this
> Enterprise was hers.

Mike: I wonder what "misfortune of the regular CO" will put the New Generation
in command of the Enterprise.

> She remembered the first time she had been in command of the
> Enterprise. At a few days short of turning twelve,

Tom [Nigel]: "This one goes up to 12."

> her feet wouldn't
> even touch the floor when she sat all the way back in the command chair.
> Marrissa remembered how she had felt,

Crow [Judy]: "She gets... you know. Squishy."

> not knowing if she could command.
> Worrying about going into battle.

Mike: Trying to decide which Corey was cuter.

> Well she had survived that first battle and several others since.
> She was still nervous about going into battle, but she knew that if she
> wasn't it would be time to retire. At 24, Marrissa

Mike: ... was well past the official retirement age of Ratliffleet.

> had no intention of
> retiring. Her nervousness had translated into heightened preparedness.

Crow: The Vulgate, this ain't.

> When Marrissa got nervous, she made battle plans,

Tom: Oh, that's healthy.
Crow: Hey, 'rissa, why don't you take up knitting or something?

> anticipating her
> opponent's move and countering it. She planned alternatives, and
> figured out ways to defeat them.
> Marrissa remembered the night before her wedding. She had been
> so nervous she stayed up past 0240 hours making battle plans.

Tom [Marrissa]: "If Jay goes for the back door, I can pin him down with my
thighs..."

> She never
> dreamed that she'd need them the next day.
> Fate

Crow: ... and the Trilateral Commission ...

> seemed to conspire to send her into battle. Here she was
> on the USS Enterprise, her mission to seek out new life, new
> civilizations ... to boldly

Mike: ... press the reset button.

> go where no one had gone before. Marrissa
> looked forward to that mission, but that was in the future. The
> Federation was going to war.

Crow: ... which she looked forward to much more.

>
> Lieutenant Shayna Sachs pulled Marrissa out of her daydream
> announcing, "Captain, general orders coming in ... War declared

Crow [Marrissa]: "Yes!"

> against the Romulan Star Empire. Open sealed orders Romulan Dusk.
> Fleetwide yellow alert.

Crow: The pantyshields have failed! Repeat! The pantyshields have failed!

> From Fleet Admiral Jean-Luc Picard, per
> orders UFP Congress."
> "Computer open said orders, authorization Picard Omega One
> Six Two Four," Marrissa ordered, "Audio play."

Tom: Oh boy, I just love that Norman Corwin.

> "Orders, operation Romulan Dusk, phase one,

Mike: ... set Romulan sun.

> Starship
> Enterprise, Marrissa Picard commanding. You are to rescue Admiral
> Riker and destroy

Crow: ... his libido.

> Romulan Starbase Four and any other resistance you
> meet. You will meet the USS Endeavor under Captain C Crusher

Tom: *groan*
Crow: Hey... it could be worse. He could have given Amy Carter a spaceship!

> and the
> USS Pasteur under Captain B Picard

Mike: ... and the USS Salk under Captain Z Kirk ...

> upon achieving your objectives."
> Marrissa moved up in front of the view screen, beginning,
> "Well ladies and gentlemen, it's time to show the Romulans what we
> can do,

Tom [Marrissa]: And we can dance! Hit it, girls!

> and the rest of Star Fleet too. I've been working on getting
> the best crew I could for the last dozen years.

Crow: But you'll have to do, I guess.

> I believe I have
> that crew. Now it's time to prove it.
> "You know our objectives, we need to sneak in. You have the
> maps, do you have any suggestions?

Tom [Minnewegian]: Fold it this way.
Crow [Minnewegian]: No, dear. Fold it over like so.
Tom [Minnewegian]: Oh, honey, I really think that corner goes --
Crow [Minnewegian]: Oh, no, no, no.

> "No nebulas, no asteroids, one gas giant which the Starbase
> orbits," Jay recited.

Mike: Is that William Blake?

> "Not many places to hide."
> "What about the planet?" Clara asked.
> "That might do," Kathy replied. "Leave a division of fighters
> in the remains of the Enterprise-E's destruction, which is in polar
> orbit."

Crow: That explains the multiphasic space penguins.

> "And lead the guard into them," Alexander responded. "I like
> it. It has a Klingon touch to it."

Tom [Alexander]: And then, we drink their blood, right?

> "And afterwards we can drain the starbase's shields and

Mike: ... change the oil.

> beam
> the old crew off it," Shayna commented. "Assuming Riker hasn't taken
> it for us."
> "Sounds good, but better ready a team to release them,"

Crow: "Smithers. Release the hounds!"

> Marrissa responded. "Not that I distrust Riker's abilities, but
> I'll not be caught flat-footed."

Tom [Marrissa]: I can outrun him now.

> "Don't worry Marrissa, Shayna had the away team assignments
> to me thirty minutes ago," Jay replied. "Kathy's been running
> entering and exiting drills all day on the holodeck"

Crow: Oh, I heard about that. Ensign R. Jeremy was the last drill.

> "In that case Jay, I'll get off my aching feet and let you
> get us under

Crow [Marrissa]: ... me! no, under way, of course, I meant ...

> way," Marrissa replied, returning to the command chair.
> "CONN plot a course eighty-nine mark four, warp twelve,"
> Jay ordered. "Go to RED ALERT, All hands to battle stations, Kathy
> ready fighters."

Mike: It's always a good idea to make your fighters Kathy-ready. You never
know what she'll pull.

> "First Enterprise Division ready for launch," Kathy replied.
> "Security teams reporting to transporter rooms," Shayna informed.

Tom: Transporter rooms... Secure!

> "Captain, she's all yours," Jay completed. "Thank you Jay,"
> Marrissa responded. "Mister Maharaj, engage."

Tom [Yogi Bear]: Soi-ten-lee, Mrs. Captain Ranger lady!

> She gestured in the
> fashion of her father

Mike: Her uniform rides up on her too, huh?

> and the Enterprise shot off to war.

[Commercials]
[Continued in Part 7]

Jamie Plummer jc...@virginia.edu http://faraday.clas.virginia.edu/~jcp9j
"It's merely symptomatic of our postmodern ennui. There are no
absolutes unless you perceive our world as meaningless when it's
really your own freedom you detest. I like pork." -- Brak