MiSTing--"2000-X" Pt. 3

[Omega]

More of the pain...

> Newsgroups: alt.comics.fan-fiction
> Subject: Repost: 2000-X ch.2
>
> **All characters and places except 2000-X students and Atlanis
> Base belong to Marvel Comics. Everything that doesn't belong to
> Marvel Comics belongs to Adam McPartlin.

Mike: Who does this man think he is, Donald Trump?

> All characters and
> stories belonging to Adam McPartlin may be distributed/used

Tom: As compost.

> freely. If archived on the 'net, please inform me of the URL at
> ma...@awod.com

Mike: Do we really need to go over this again?

>
> 2000-X
> Chapter 2
>
> The first thing the members of 2000-X noticed were
> around a hundred and fifty soldiers armed with laser rifles.

Tom & Crow: Mah weep grana weep minibong!
Mike: Huh?

> "Pendragon,
> raise a telekinetic field around us. Psyber and Venus, you and I will

Tom: Inform everyone of what we're about to do, despite the fact that
nine out of ten of us are telepaths!

> take this fight head to head since I'm immortal and you two are
> invurnable." Anubis said.

Mike: I think this guy's becoming the Swedish Chef.

>
> Psyber used his electrokinesis

Crow: When did he get electrokinesis?
Tom: Great, they're spontaneously mutating now.

> to knock several people
> unconscious,

Tom: Unfortunately, this didn't include the audience.

> while Anubis was simulainiously absorbing the life
> forces of the soldiers and attacking them with the organic debris in
> the sand. Meanwhile Venus was using a more "hands on" approach.

Crow: Oooh! Oooh! Me next!
Mike: I wanna be captured next! I wnna be captured next!
Tom: No, me next!

> It was at that moment that Pendragon's powers began to
> give out.

Tom: For no apparent reason.
Crow: Yeah, real powerful superhero. How long did his powers last?
Thirty seconds?

> As the shields, failed Psyber began using his powers in a
> way only Magneto had accomplished successfully. He disrupted
> the ambient magnetic energy around the island, causing a loss of
> power to all electronic equipment. It took only moments for
> 2000-X to defeat the soldiers now that they didn't have energy
> armor of laser rifles.

Mike: Yes, beating the crap out of ordinary humans is a cinch for this
team!
Crow: When did they get energy armor?
Tom: The same time that guy got electrokinesis.

> "Welcome to my island, children."

Crow: It's Ricardo Montelban!
Mike: Where's Tattoo?

> The team immediately recognized this man. He was the
> greatest enemy of 2000-X's predecessors, Generation X. He is
> called

Crow: Stinky!

> Emplate. "I see you had no problems finding my little abode.
> I would invite you in but

Tom: You're not housetrained.
Crow: Yeah, and take off your shoes before you come in!
All: SHOES!

> you won't be around long enough to enjoy
> it. Hellions, attack."
>
> As the small band of mutants called the Hellions approached,
> the team members ran the dossiers through their minds. First, their
> was Bulwark, a mutant who could increase his size on command.

Crow: What happens if he teams up with Anubis?

> Then came Vincente,

Crow: What kind of a name is that for a supervillain? "Vincente"?
Mike: And then there's his sidekick, "Bob".

> who could alter his molecular density to
> change his state of matter. Next was Murmur, a mutant who
> opened teleportals.

Tom: Well, that makes sense, because--HUH?
Crow: Teleporters...why do they always have to have teleporters?

> Finally the mutant named D.O.A. stepped forward.
> With the ability to cause a fatal disease in all he touches, D.O.A. is
> one of the most dangerous of the Hellions.
>
> First, D.O.A. lad

Tom: Yes, D.O.A. Lad! The next member of the Legion of Super-Heroes!

> the attack by infecting Anubis with his
> disease. Anubis was dead immediately.

ALL: YAAAAAAY!
Crow: One down, eight to go!

> It took only a few minutes
> for his immortality kicked in

Mike: Boot to the head.

> and he healed himself. While this was
> happening the rest of 2000-X were fighting off the Hellions. Venus
> was fighting Bulwark

Mike: In a Triple-X comic available to adults only.

> and the two were matching each other punch
> for punch.

Crow: Don't you mean blow for blow?
[Mike pulls out the screwdriver. Tom looks over at Mike and giggles.
Crow looks over at Mike, who promptly hides the screwdriver behind his
back.]

> Psyber, Falcon and Raven were fighting Murmur, but
> every time one of them fired a shot Murmur vanished and hit them
> from behind.
>
> Warrior and Pendragon were busy keeping D.O.A. from
> getting to any of his teammates,

Crow: Why would he want to get to his own team-mates?
Mike: Yeah, why doesn't he go after someone who deserves death, like
Adam McPartlin?

> while Waverider was fighting
> Vincente. None of 2000-X were making very much headway until
> Anubis fully recovered.

Crow: Oooh, yeah, the most powerful member of the team is recovered!
Now we're going to see some real ass-kicking!

> "2000-X, pull back, NOW!"

Mike: Oh, yeah, he just opened up a _can_ o whupass, didn't he?

>
> With those words Anubis completely absorbed the life
> forces of the Hellions.

Tom: You mean every time he says those words, he absorbs the life
force of the Hellions? Boy, that must make things inconvenient some
times.
Crow: What happens when he says, "2000-X, push forwards"?
Mike: Don't ask, Crow.

> When Falcon and Raven tried to restore the
> life forces enough so their enemies would live, they found that there
> was no energy left to restore. Even Anubis couldn't transfer the
> essence into the villains.

Mike: Yet none of the team members seem to care about Anubis'
slaughter of about a half-dozen people.

> However, the added life forces of the Hellions had an
> advantage. It supercharged Anubis' powers. He could put enough
> of the energy into the inorganic matter around him that he could
> put it in the "zombie" state that usually follows his life absorption.
> He used the ground beneath Emplate's feet to trap him.
>
> "Did you truly think that this physical cage could trap me."

Tom: Well, yeah, we were kinda hoping...

>
> With that Emplate vanished into his dimension.

Crow: He has his own dimension?
Mike: Yeah, it's McCartney Island.
Crow: What about Ringo?
Tom: That's where Onslaught went.
Mike: And Yoko Ono?
Tom: We only wish she had her own dimension.

> But this
> journey was different.

Mike: Yeah, he was travelling coach. And the in-flight movie? Forget
it.

> The souls of those he killed have become
> empowered a thousand fold.

Mike: They've undergone a Quality Initiative Program and become
empowered deceased!
Tom: No, no, no...it's 'living impaired'.

> Slowly the mob destroyed the body of
> their murderer. Then he realized that Anubis was using his power
> over the dead to give them their powers back. He quickly shunted
> back into our dimension.
>
> "You may be able to keep me in this plane,

Crow: De plane, boss! De plane!
Mike: Oh, there's Tattoo.

> but I am not
> defenseless. Megamorph, attack."
>
> At that moment the potentially omnipotent young mutant
> called Megamorph and teammate of 2000-X stepped into the battle.
> "Please help.......... YOURSELVES!"

Crow (as Homer Simpson): Mmmmm....all-you-can-eat seafood
buffet...ahhhhhhhh...

> To be Continued...

Mike: And you know what that means...we have a break.
Crow: And we need it. Hey, I know, let's play super-heroes!
Tom: OK, let's go...

[SOL Bridge. Tom is dressed as Onslaught, making inventive use of
papier-mache fins and Christmas tree lights for eyes, while Crow has
used fake fur and butter knives to make himself look like Wolverine.]

Tom(in deep--well, sort of deep voice): Pitiful fools! Now that I,
Megamorph, have taken on the powers of Onslaught, you are all doomed!
Doomed, I tell you, doomed! Muahahahaha!

Crow(in growly, scratchy voice): Not a chance, bub. See, I'm the best
at what I do. And what I do is the thing that I'm the best at. (Drops
into his normal voice.) So it works out pretty well, actually, you
know, because I'm doing what I like to do.

Tom(whispering): Crow, you're breaking character.

Crow: Oh, yeah. Right. (Starts talking all growly again) This time
you're going down. As soon as my team-mate arrives...[glances
off-stage]...I said, as soon as my team-mate arrives...[clears throat,
speaks much louder]...I said, as soon as my team-mate arrives...

Mike(off-stage): Forget it, I'm not coming out there.

Tom: You said you would!

Mike: That was before I knew who I was going to be!

Crow: Aw, come on, you look great!

Mike: No!

Crow: Pleeeeeeeeease....we'll say 'Please' ten thousand times....

Mike: Oh, fine. [steps out on stage hesitantly, wearing Psylocke
outfit] I will never--NEVER forgive you for this, Tom. And this
thing's creeping up my butt, too.

[Both of the bots are too busy snickering to say anything.]

Mike: Forget it. [Walks back off-stage. A few moments later, Gypsy
walks on with the Psylocke outfit draped strategically around her, um,
tube.]

Gypsy: Mike told me to wear this. Are you guys doing a skit?

Tom: Um, yeah...hold on, where were we?

Crow: We were at--

[lights, buzzers, sirens, etc.]

ALL: FANFIC SIGN!

More to come...

Omega
******
"She's hiding...behind...a window!"
--MST3K: Zombie Nightmare