[MiSTied] The "Saturn Myth" and modern science III
Keith Williams
author...BUY A TELESCOPE OR VISIT A PLANETARIUM!!! SATURN DID *NOT*
EXPLODE THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO!!!!!
You'll understand why I had this outburst later.
Enjoy.
--
"Maybe all I need / besides my pills / and surgery / is a new metaphor
for reality."
- Queensryche -- "Disconnected" -- Promised Land
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
[] Kurris (aka Keith Williams) will...@aix.wingra.com []
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
MiSTing (c) November, 1994 by Kurris (a.k.a. Keith Williams)
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> From dtal...@netcom.com Fri Oct 14 14:15:54 EDT 1994
> Article: 11656 of alt.paranormal
> Newsgroups: talk.religion.newage,alt.alien.visitors.alt.astrology,
> alt.paranormal
SERVO: [singing] Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine
bottles of beer.
MIKE: Why are you singing that, Tom?
SERVO: Because, like this series of posts, it goes on, and on, and on and
on.
MIKE: Oh.
> Path: news1.digex.net!lynx.unm.edu!tesuque.cs.sandia.gov!news.sandia.gov!
> uunet!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!usc!nic-nac.CSU.net!
> charnel.ecst.csuchico.edu!csusac!csus.edu!netcom.com!dtalbott
> From: dtal...@netcom.com (Dave Talbott)
> Subject: The "Saturn Myth" and modern science III
MIKE: The Search for Spock
CROW: ENOUGH WITH THE STAR TREK MOVIE TITLES, ALREADY!!!
MIKE: Okay, geez, you don't have to yell. I thought it was funny.
SERVO: Once, okay; twice, maybe, but it's turning into a crutch.
> Message-ID: <dtalbottC...@netcom.com>
> Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest)
> Date: Tue, 11 Oct 1994 03:40:36 GMT
> Lines: 227
> Xref: news1.digex.net talk.religion.newage:17900 alt.paranormal:11656
>
> The following
SERVO: Glimpse of whimsy comes at the expense of several million brain
cells.
> continues a series of posts offering an intorduction tothe
CROW: UnbelievableworldthatIcallmyveryown.
> "Saturn Thesis," using a question and answer format. A total of five
> successive post will be included.
>
> To economize on the logistical requirements, after the five initial posts
MIKE: You know, I'm really running out of things to say about this intro.
SERVO: Don't let it bother you, we all are.
> the introduction will be continued only on the group talk.origins. If
> the ideas look interesting to you,
CROW: Look a little closer and you will see that you were mistaken.
MIKE: Thanks, Crow.
CROW: Don't mention it.
> we hope to see you on talk.origins--a
> site of some interesting discussion--within the next few days.
>
>
> HOW DO THE PLANETS FIGURE INTO THE ORIGINS OF MYTH?
SERVO: Well, they'd sneak into town late at night and spray paint weird
things onto the walls of our caves when no one was looking, then
dash away, snickering under their breath.
>
> In the most direct way.
CROW: The planets were the Sam Kinison's of ancient myth.
MIKE: In your face mythmaking?
CROW: Exactly.
> The great celestial powers first celebrated by
SERVO: Opening a kegger and stripping to the waist.
> man were planets and aspects of planets, all playing concrete roles
MIKE: Tonight, in the role of Jimmy Hoffa, Saturn.
> that
> can be demonstrated through systematic analysis.
SERVO: This little piggy went to market...
>
> When I started my own investigation in 1972
CROW: Dude, that's a looong time to be dropping acid.
> it was obvious that most
MIKE: Of my brain would end up tapioca pudding before I was done.
> mainstream scholars did not admit any meaningful relationship
SERVO: With their students, but, come on! They're only human.
> of early
> gods and later planets.
CROW: It's a touching love story, I'm sure.
> It soon became clear why this was so.
SERVO: Because no one besides you really cared!!
> The gods
> are far more dominant,
CROW: Ooh, I *like* that in a god.
> more active, and more violent than could possibly
> be explained,
MIKE: By the twinky defense.
> or illuminated in any way by the present fireflies of light
> we call planets.
CROW: This guy thinks fireflies are planets?
SERVO: I think ve may have stumbled upon za root of hez psychosis.
> Yet we know that the early priest astronomers developed
MIKE: Crazy bread *long* before Little Ceasar's did.
> their arts within cosmic traditions dating back to the dawn of
> civilization. And when the first stargazers
SERVO: Tasted the new sauce they said, "You call *that* bold?"
> of ancient Mesopotamia,
> China and Mesoamerica began recording the movements of settled (or
> generally settled) planets,
CROW: A rolling planet gathers no moss.
> they insisted with one voice that
ALL: THE FIRST DARREN WAS BETTER!!
> these
> distant bodies once dominated the world as "the gods."
SERVO: I liked them for their minds.
> The incredible
> discrepancy between the gods' biographies and the
MIKE: Later published autobiographies has caused quite a stir.
> present little specks
> in the sky presents a fascinating unexplained but worldwide anomaly.
CROW: I'll say, who *do* so many people like Baywatch?
>
> I'm suggesting,
MIKE: That you put me out of my misery right now.
> in other words, that we pay serious attention to the
SERVO: Astonishingly poor quality of education in this country.
CROW: Evidenced by the fact that I *continue* to have tenure.
> profound shift in ancient ideas about gods and planets, a shift occurring
MIKE: Between breakfast and lunch, often called "brunch."
> between the dawn of civilization and the first millennium B.C.
CROW: Could you be a little more vague?
SERVO: Maybe.
> The
> earlier "capriciousness" of the gods gradually gave way to fixed and
> repeated cycles of planets.
MIKE: I remember when you were a happy-go-lucky god, but then you got that
promotion.
> In my opinion,
SERVO: The butler did it in the library with the candlestick.
> this dramatic change in human
> perception speaks for a change in celestial environment--
CROW: Who knew that when the nuclear waste facilities blew up that it would
catapult our planet into another solar system. Who knew?
> a shift from the
> active and dramatic presence of the gods to the remote, uniform and
> predictable planetary system we observe today. Until the establishment
SERVO: Falls, we'll all just be their puppets!!
> of the stable cycles or patterns, of course, observational,
> mathematically-based astronomy could have no foundation.
MIKE: So, no one can look until Dave says it's okay to look, eh?
>
> Now obviously
CROW: I'm just talking nonsense here.
> the unshakable opinion of astronomers is that the solar
> system of our ancestors looked very much like it does today. Yet
SERVO: That completely ignores my Goofy Theory! And I just *hate* that!!
> surprisingly, there's no evidence that, at the dawn of civilization, any
CROW: One was awake enough to be paying attention to the sky.
> starworshippers recorded planetary movements such as presently occur--even
> though celestial "sun" and "star" symbols are everywhere. Conversely,
MIKE: Everywhere are symbols "star" and "sun" celestial though.
SERVO: What the...?
CROW: Mike, you're scaring me.
> the shift in perception--from violent gods to predictable planets--accords
> very well with our claim
SERVO: Ooo, it does indeed!
> that the planetary system changed dramatically
> within human memory.
CROW: Within this human's lunacy, more likely.
>
>
> AND THIS IS WHERE IMMANUEL VELIKOVSKY COMES INTO THE EQUATION.
SERVO: Hey, that was a statement! Is this guy feeding himself questions
or what?
> DO YOU
> CONSIDER YOURSELF A VELIKOVSKIAN?
CROW: Only on the third Sunday of every month.
>
> I do indeed consider myself a Velikovskian--
MIKE: I like the little hats, and the pasta dishes are to die for!
> in principle perhaps more than
> in detail. In fact, I would never have taken up this subject, were it
> not for the inspiration of Velikovsky,
SERVO: So *he's* to blame!
CROW: Die, die, DIE!
> who had triggered a major
> scientific controversy in 1950 with publication of *Worlds in
> Collision.*
MIKE: One man's story.
> In this groundbreaking work,
SERVO: Groundbreaking in that so many people had the urge to bury it.
> based on a reading of mythical
> and historical material from every ancient culture,
CROW: For the ones he couldn't find, he just made stuff up.
> Velikovsky argued
> that a few
MIKE: Grams of cocaine never killed anybody.
CROW: Now I know why Velikovsky was Dave's hero.
> thousand years ago the planet Venus took the form of a
> terrifying "comet," threatening the Earth and causing general havoc
SERVO: [as Venus] Back off, man, or I'll cut you. You come around here,
all nice and pleasant, with your moon and your liquid water, and
don't expect me to notice? What, you think I'm *stupid* or
something? Come on, let's step outside and *see* who's the better
planet.
> around the world. Whatever you may think of Velikovsky's idea, no one
CROW: Has loved him the way that *I* have loved him.
> could dispute that it was based on a great deal of carefully collated
> research,
MIKE: I can.
SERVO: No you can't, shut up!
MIKE: No. I *can* dispute it.
SERVO: I said, no you can't, now SHUT UP!
> and the thesis deserved to be considered with the same care
CROW: That one takes in choosing a cable provider.
MIKE: Uh, Crow, cable companies usually have a monopoly in their area,
so you don't...really...Oh. Never mind.
> that Velikovsky had devoted to the subject.
SERVO: Two weekends in the Bahamas.
>
> Actually, the response of the orthodox scientific community tells us
CROW: To tolerate crackpots like me, for which I am grateful.
> a
> lot about the difficulties facing intellectual "outsiders," or anyone
> else for that matter, who challenge institutionalized theories.
MIKE: I think Dave's theories are the ones that need to be
institutionalized.
CROW: Along with their author.
> Even as
> sales of Velikovsky's book soared,
SERVO: [as Velikovsky] How many did we sell today?
CROW: [as book store owner] Well, I lined my birdcage with a copy this
morning. And the bird didn't die.
SERVO: [as Velikovsky] That's *great*! Wait 'til I tell mamma!!
> making it the number one bestseller
> in the country,
MIKE: Obviously a *very* dry year.
> the scientific elite launched an incredibly narrow-minded
> and vicious attack on Velikovsky,
CROW: They made fun of his socks.
SERVO: And his freckles.
> misrepresenting both the scholar and
> his thesis at every turn--all told, one of the saddest and darkest
> episodes in science this century.
MIKE: Absolutely. A day that shall live in infamy.
CROW: It was a dark time for the rebellion...
>
> In 1972,
SERVO: Someone stole my red Tonka truck, which made me very bitter.
> more than twenty years after release of *Worlds in Collision,* I
> was
CROW: Working a corner in downtown San Francisco.
> publishing a little student journal called *Pensee,*
MIKE: It's *spelled* "Pensee," but it's pronounced "Pants Me."
> and we decided to
> do a special feature on the Velikovsky controversy.
CROW: Whoa, Mister Finger-On-The-Pulse-Of-The-Nation! Cool off! It's only
been twenty years. The wounds are still too fresh!!
> But as we began to
> talk with Velikovsky
SERVO: We realized that the years in the asylum had really taken their toll.
> and then with other scholars who had developed an
> interest in his work, we realized there was much more to be said than
> could be covered in a single feature article.
MIKE: Hence this five part series.
SERVO: [in booming announcer voice] THE SATURN MYTH AND MODERN SCIENCE...
AN EPIC JOURNEY INTO A LUNATIC'S MIND...TWENTY YEARS IN THE MAKING.
> So we devoted a complete
> issue of *Pensee* to Velikovsky and called it "Immanuel Velikovsky
> Reconsidered."
CROW: Catchy name. Can you hum a few bars?
>
> That turned out to be
MIKE: A big mistake, since Velikovsky had trade marked his name and
proceeded to sue the pants off of us.
CROW: Although some of us disliked that less than others.
> only the beginning. The response to the issue made
> it impossible to go back to producing the little student journal.
SERVO: Yeah, they locked us out of the school.
CROW: Then they called our parents and told them we were all on drugs.
> Over
> the following two or three years we published a ten-issue series on
> Velikovsky,
MIKE: Starting with Velikovsky, the early years.
> a series that left a distinctive mark on the academic world,
SERVO: More of a blemish, really.
CROW: Or a boil.
> not only bringing scholarly attention to the Velikovsky issue, but
> serving as the catalyst for many popular treatments on Velikovsky.
CROW: Yeah, have you heard the new Slayer CD? It's got a backwards
masking of Velikovsky's thesis on the third track.
>
>
> BUT YOU DID NOT JUST PUBLISH ON VELIKOVSKY, YOU GOT DIRECTLY INVOLVED IN
> THE RESEARCH.
SERVO: Yeah, I jumped in with my socks on and splashed around for a while,
but so what? My mother *likes* to do my laundry.
>
> Yes, something interesting happened when I
CROW: Touched myself there.
> received a brief two-page
> outline of Velikovsky's unpublished ideas about the planet Saturn.
> Velikovsky claimed that
MIKE: He had been raised by goats.
SERVO: *That* explains a lot.
> at one time Saturn had been a very large body in
> the sky.
CROW: Before starting on the Slim Fast program.
> He had speculated that Earth may have been a satellite of
> Saturn during the period remembered as Saturn's Golden Age.
MIKE: That came on right after the Golden Girls, right?
SERVO: I think so.
> But the
> planet was disturbed in some way,
CROW: The *planet* was disturbed?!!? Look a little closer to home next
time, buddy!
> exploding violently, Velikovsky said,
> and this was the event in the sky that ancient man associated with the
> "dying god--one of the universal themes of myth.
SERVO: So...What? Saturn blew up? You'd think he'd have a hard time
peddling *that* one.
MIKE: Remember, Dave's credo is "Believe first, investigate never."
SERVO: Oh, right.
>
> Though I found all of Velikovsky's work on myth extremely fascinating, I
CROW: Became bored by his constant babbling.
> began my own research with a specific challenge regarding the mythical
> profile of Saturn, and at the time nothing in the world was more exciting
> to me than this intellectual issue.
SERVO: Like so many others, our hero, Dave, fell prey to the intoxicating
world of self delusion.
>
> It's important to keep in mind, incidentally, that
CROW: I'm *still* completely insane, so don't sell the farm if I tell you
to.
> Velikovsky published
> quite a number of important books.
MIKE: I hear that "Famous Diets of Myth and Legend" was extremely popular.
> When the great controversy hit
CROW: The fan, I got sprayed with something good.
> after
> *Worlds in Collision,* for example, he devoted himself to several years
SERVO: Of drinking and debauchery.
> of research into the geological history of the Earth, seeking to show
> that our planet has experienced global catastrophes in the past. The
> book was called *Earth in Upheaval.*
MIKE: But is now called "The Cow Who Wore Underpants."
>
> But when did the Earth-disturbing catastrophes occur?
CROW: I'm guessing the past.
> What were the
> mechanisms?
SERVO: Mercury switches, I'll bet.
> Is there a relationship between the physical evidence and
> the catastrophic events implied in the mythical-historical material?
MIKE: No, and if you'd stop sniffing glue you would have realized that.
> Though Velikovsky certainly did not answer all of the questions raised,
CROW: He *did* bake a nice strudel.
> his *Earth in Upheaval* is a very significant work, and much of it still
SERVO: Makes me laugh and laugh.
> holds up well today. And of course the idea that the Earth has suffered
> catastrophic changes, with the sudden extermination of whole species, is
MIKE: Complete and utter nonsense, as my thesis on the immutability of
species will prove.
> much more acceptable today than it was when Velikovsky wrote. Now we see
CROW: That I'm leading you on a merry chase.
> scientists openly discussing the extinction of the dinosaurs by cometary
> catastrophe; we see the British astronomers Victor Clube and Bill Napier
SERVO: In rather compromising positions.
> proposing catastrophes that sound very much like Velikovsky's comet Venus
> disaster, except they've replaced the Venus comet with the known comet
> Encke.
CROW: What'd you expect? That they'd steal an idea from a crackpot like
Velikovsky?
MIKE: I think we could have avoided this whole ugly affair if Velikovsky's
mother had just given in and bought him that telescope when he was
a teenager.
> And even more recently, with the cometary impacts on Jupiter, the
> question is being asked with a new seriousness: could it happen here?
SERVO: OF COURSE IT COULD HAPPEN HERE!!
CROW: Unless they get the planetary deflector field working.
SERVO: [calming down] Oh, well, there's always *that*.
> Well the answer is: the feared cometary disaster has already happened
> here--and a great deal more as well!
MIKE: That's right, and I've got the pictures to prove it!!
>
>
> IN YOUR OWN WORK, THE STORY CENTERS ON THE PLANET SATURN, VELIKOVSKY'S
> DYING GOD. CAN YOU SUMMARIZE YOUR CONCLUSIONS?
MIKE: Yes, they taste like chicken.
>
> Starting with a few clues
CROW: So as not to *appear* completely lost and alone.
> provided by Velikovsky, I began to look at the
> monumental civilizations of the past in a new way.
SERVO: I first administered three large doses of thorazine to myself.
>
> While I found many things to object to in Velikovsky's interpretation,
CROW: Especially his tendency to refer to himself in third person.
> his use of sources, and his chronology of events, I also found a nearly
> limitless reservoir of
MIKE: Spackum.
> evidence supporting Velikovsky's most basic
> claims:
SERVO: I am not an animal.
CROW: But I play one on TV.
> that the planets were the gods, that Venus entered history as a
> world-threatening comet,
MIKE: That I've gone *way* off script.
> that Mars, moving on an erratic course,
> participated directly in Earth-disturbing catastrophes,
CROW: That playing with electricity can be dangerous.
SERVO: That "thesis" is a four letter word for "The ravings of a lunatic
mind."
> and that the
> planet Saturn, in the earliest remembered age,
MIKE: Has a *really* bad haircut.
> had towered over mankind,
> inspiring the great cultural revolutions associated with the birth of the
> first civilizations. These civilizations, it turns out,
CROW: Started as strip malls.
> did not arise
> beneath the quiet and uneventful sky to which we're accustomed; they
> emerged from the shadow of planetary spectacles and upheavals.
SERVO: If that were true, then they would have taken such things for granted,
since it was normal for them.
CROW: So, *our* sky is the strange one?
SERVO: Right.
MIKE: Tom, you've really brought the madness home for me.
>
> The more deeply I dug, the more
CROW: I wished I'd used Clearisil when I was a teenager.
> clear it became that we've misunderstood
> the language of myth and symbol. When the first civilizations appeared,
SERVO: They wore really ugly hats with enormous feathers sticking out of
them.
> all of the centers of activity were religious,
CROW: Those church wiener roasts are so *rad*!
> orienting themselves to a
> celestial figure remembered as a former sun god. Now this god, as
> incredible as it may seem,
MIKE: Told me himself that I was a ninny. Oops! I wasn't supposed to
reveal that until part five. Drat, drat drat!!
> had nothing to do with the body we call "sun,"
> the body we see rising in the east and setting in the west.
SERVO: [resounding voice] Ignore that body rising in the east and setting
in the west.
> The very
> names of this god--even in the cases of the familiar Helios and Sol--were
> the names of the planet Saturn,
MIKE: Hi, Saturn.
CROW: Call me Sol.
SERVO: Hi, Sol.
CROW: Call me Helios.
MIKE: Hi, Helios.
CROW: Call me master.
> a power remembered not just as the
> supreme luminary in the sky but as the king of the world,
SERVO: [singing] I am Henry VIII, I am...
> the prototype
> in the heavens for the king on earth.
CROW: Has a few design flaws, but we'll be correcting those in version
1.1.
> But the myths say that this
> primeval sun's rule didn't last,
MIKE: In fact, it ended precisely at sunset. Go figure.
> and the violent conclusion of that epoch
> is remembered around the world as the prototypical catastrophe, the
> mother of all disasters, you might say.
CROW: Mrs. Gordon?
SERVO: Who?
CROW: Burt I.'s mom.
SERVO: Oh [shudder].
>
> How, then, do we account for the discrepancy
MIKE: In the books. Get the accountants on the phone.
> between the implied
> historical setting and our modern notions of the past? It seems that in
CROW: Writing this up, I've misplaced my brain. You haven't seen it, have
you?
SERVO: No, no chance of *that*.
> our rush to scientific sophistication--
MIKE: Hey, slow down there, mister, everybody gets a turn on the swing.
> and out of the simplest habits of
CROW: Self-mutilation.
> perception--we came to accept theoretical suppositions that are not true.
> As the solar system passed from its "capricious" state to the settled
> movements we know today,
SERVO: Yes, that's right, the solar system has been around for three billion
years. And, for most of that time it was wild, fun loving. It was
only recently, in the last .0000017% of its life, that it settled
down and started raising a family.
MIKE: I think the sarcasm meter just went "Tilt."
> our way of seeing the heavens changed as well,
> with an intellectual inertia setting in--a counterpart to the inertia of
> the perceived, clock-like solar system.
CROW: I think the Mass-to-Flummery inertia ratio is set to "liquefy" here.
> But now a correction is needed,
SERVO: Take everything I've just said, subtract infinity from it and you'll
get my IQ.
> a bridging of the gap between the ancient and the modern worlds. And
CROW: I think you'll agree with me on this one--My nesting instinct is
*strong* right now.
> that's the unique value of myth--providing a bridge
MIKE: Over the river Kwi.
> to forgotten experiences.
>
>
> BUT HOW CAN YOU DEMONSTRATE, WITH THE DEGREE OF ASSURANCE CRITICS WILL
> ASK FOR, THAT THE MYTHS SPEAK FOR AN ALIEN SKY?
CROW: First, I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat. *That* should impress 'em!
>
> We start with an acid test:
ALL: Owey, owey, owey! It burns and stuff!!
> Do any of the elementary forms suggested by
> the myths relate to present celestial phenomena?
ALL: YES!
> If you let the oldest
> sources be your guide, the answer to that question is consistently and
> emphatically,
CROW: I'm not sure.
> NO! The earliest expressions of myth bear no connection to
> our sky today!
SERVO: And to prove it, here's Ralph, the wonder-dog!
>
> Of course, that's an outlandish statement to make--
MIKE: Except when considering its source.
> unless it's true.
CROW: Which it could never be, so why bring it up?
> If
> it's not true,
SERVO: Which just about *everyone* except *you* seems to know.
> it should be easy for someone to step forward and identify
> a global mythical theme which,
MIKE: Incorporates rice pudding in a positive light.
> in its first expressions, answers directly
> to familiar bodies in the sky and to familiar celestial motions.
CROW: I direct your attention to this child's mobile...
>
> One of the commonly accepted tests of a good theory is
SERVO: If it makes you laugh, it's not a good theory.
> its susceptibility
> to disproof if incorrect.
MIKE: That's it, Dave, go out on a limb.
> And what I'm suggesting amounts to a
CROW: A hill of beans in this man's army.
> unified
> theory in this sense:
SERVO: In the sense that it's completely unglued and ready to fly apart at
the slightest touch.
> it claims to account for the myth-making epoch as
MIKE: A spin-off of "A.K.A. Pablo."
> a whole. To prove the theory incorrect,
CROW: Just add water.
> therefore, one need only
SERVO: Read the opening remarks.
> document a mythical-symbolic theme which,
MIKE: Won't frighten the kiddies.
> at root, corresponds to the
SERVO: Level of stupidity that I am currently demonstrating.
> present order of things. If you'll
CROW: Call, I'll be there.
MIKE & SERVO: DON'T DO IT!!
> think about it, I'm sure you'll agree
SERVO: That I'm out of my mind, but, then again, I think we've adequately
established that at this point.
> that nothing in the world should be easier.
CROW: Than to put a bullet in my brain.
> For example: we all know
MIKE: That I like to eat paste.
> that myriad "sun" signs and "sun" gods populated the
SERVO: "Sunshine" state in the "sun" belt.
> ancient mythscape.
CROW: But what you *didn't* know is that I can make rude noises without
even trying.
> One could thus refute the Saturn thesis as a unified theory by simply
MIKE: Saying "Boo!"
> showing that in the early cultures the "sun god" moves about in the
CROW: ...drunken, disorderly...
> fashion of our sun, that he rises from the eastern horizon in the
SERVO: Early afternoon, say, three-ish.
> morning, makes his way across the sky,
CROW: Hassling tourists all the way.
> then sinks below the western
> horizon. It is inconceivable that
MIKE: I can't find something better to do with my time.
> a god inspired by the rising and
SERVO: Falling of a woman's breasts would turn himself into a fish and try
mating with her.
> setting solar orb would not at least show some behavior corresponding to
MIKE: That of a gameshow host.
> the behavior of that body!
>
> There's only one problem.
CROW: My dog ate my next answer.
> This is not the character of the ancient sun
SERVO: Its the character of the bratty kid next door who keeps intruding
in our lives.
> god. The solar orb, in fact, has no
MIKE: Bananas.
> role in the origins of myth or in
CROW: My secret dreams about Bill Maher.
> defining the character of the ancient "sun." And that's why no one,
SERVO: Especially me, knows what I'm talking about.
> since I first announced this curious fact in the early 70s, has stepped
> forward to challenge it.
CROW: Face it, Dave, everyone's ignoring you, hoping you'll go away.
> ---------------------------------------------
>
> Some of the ideas
MIKE: I've had recently could get me arrested in forty-eight of the fifty
states.
> discussed above, along with independent research
CROW: Are completely silly.
> results of others, will be the subject of an international symposium,
> "Velikovsky, Ancient Myth and Modern Science," to be held in
SERVO: Contempt.
> Portland,
> Oregon, November 25-27.
>
> For information contact e...@pi.eai.com
>
>
> COPYRIGHT 1994, DAVID TALBOTT
>
SERVO: Let me out!
[ ...6...5...4...3...2...1...<> ]
MIKE: [breathing deeply] That got pretty nasty, there at the end.
SERVO: I'll say, what do you suppose got into us?
CROW: I blame condensed milk.
[ Mike and Tom double-take on Crow. ]
MIKE: What'dya think, sirs?
[ Deep 13 ]
FRANK: I think you're cruisin' for a bruisin', mister.
DR. F: Oh, Frank, shut up and push the button.
FRANK: We don't talk anymore.
DR. F: I'll *give* you something to talk about, Frank...
\ | /
\|/
-- * --
/|\
/ | \
FRANK: Owey, owey, owey!
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are
trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
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> The incredible
> discrepancy between the gods' biographies and the present little specks
> in the sky presents a fascinating unexplained but worldwide anomaly.