MST'd: AIDS Conspiracy!
Mario A Calderon
<The Sattelite Of Love>
[Mike, Tom, and Crow are standing on the bridge of the SOL. Tom and Crow are
arguing, and Mike is standing between them, holding them apart.]
-> TOM: Oh yeah? Well YOU pick your beak!
-> CROW: Well at least I *HAVE* functioning arms attached to my hands!
-> TOM: (shaking visibly) Ooooohhhh... Just wait until I get my... I
mean... Umm...
-> MIKE: OK guys, cool it. I don't know how that started, and I don't
even WANT to know. You were so busy picking on each other, you
missed the signal that we just went on the air.
[Crow and Tom stop straining to get at each other and face Cambot.]
-> CROW: Oh! Well, hehe, hi there!
[Crow salutes Cambot, glancing sidelong at Tom while doing so.]
-> TOM: Greetings.
[Tom, refusing to be goaded, bows curtly.]
-> MIKE: That's better. Good evening everyone, and welcome to the
Sattelite Of Love. According to this schedule, the Mads are due to
call in a few moments with another dreaded experiment. However,
they're almost ALWAYS late, so we can probably just --
[A light begins flashing on the control panel. Tom and Crow groan.]
-> MIKE: Well, what do you know? They're on time!
[Mike pushes the button.]
<Deep 13>
[Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank are both wearing full-body environmental
suits, looking quite a bit like they simply wrapped themselves in aluminum
foil and put on scuba masks.]
-> DR. F: Hello, Mickle-Pickle! Unfortunately, Frank accidentally
dropped the vial containing OUR invention exchange for this week.
It's probably best if we don't tell you exactly WHAT it was, because
now that it's loose in the environment, there's no telling how many
people might die.
-> FRANK: Well, I'm pretty sure that it's still confined to the Deep
13 complex. We'll just have to wear these makeshift environmental
protection suits for a while...
[Dr. Forrester clenches his fists in rage, silently glaring at Frank.]
-> FRANK: Uhhh... Maybe you guys should go ahead with your invention
exchange for the week.
<SOL>
[Mike holds up a device vaguely shaped like a ray gun.]
-> MIKE: Well sirs, I present to you the world's first Zima-Zapper!
<Deep 13>
[Dr. Forrester frowns, but scratches his chin thoughtfully.]
<SOL>
[Mike hands the Zima-Zapper to Crow, who holds it braced against his
midsection, Rambo style.]
-> MIKE: You know those ANNOYING Zima commercials, with the guy who
can't seem to speak English without throwing in a plethora of
unnecessary Z's? Well, no longer will you have to tolerate such
idiocy. As my two assistants here will demonstrate, the Zima-Zapper
is capable of eliminating any form of Z-Speak. Hit it, guys.
[Tom reads from a paper on the control panel.]
-> TOM: "Zo, zay you're in thiz bar, and zurprizingly therez NO beer."
[Crow blasts Tom with the Zima-Zapper. There is a flash and a cloud of
smoke, through which it is just possible to make out Mike surreptitiously
switching the original paper Tom read from with another one.]
-> MIKE: Great, now try it again, Tom.
-> TOM: "So, say you're in this bar, and surpri --"
-> MIKE: Thanks Tom, that's good enough. What do you think, sirs?
<Deep 13>
-> DR. F: Hmmm... Interesting idea. Might come in useful someday.
Well, I'm in a bad mood today, so there will be no stalling the
experiment we're about to send you. Give it to them, Frank... Frank?
[Frank has somehow managed to tear a large hole in his tin foil suit, and is
flailing around on the floor behind Dr. Forrester, clutching his neck. Dr.
Forrester shakes his head, breathes a heavy sigh, and pushes the button.]
<SOL>
-> MIKE: AAIIIGHHH! We got news sign!
<Door sequence: 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<Theater on the SOL>
The following is a complete verbatim
-> TOM: Isn't that sorta redunantly redundant?
transcription from a recent broadcast of
"Network 23", a program shown on a local Los Angeles Public Access Cable
Channel.
-> MIKE: Wait, so "Network 23" isn't really a network, it's a show?
-> CROW: Yeah, why didn't they just call it "Show 23"?
-> TOM: Maybe they think we're more likely to take them seriously if it
appears as though they have an entire network backing them up on
this story.
-> MIKE: Probably right, Tom.
FULL TRANSCRIPTION FROM NETWORK 23:
-> TOM: Can't we PLEASE have the Reader's Digest version? Just once?
=============================================================================
Good evening,
-> MIKE: No, I don't think so. Not a prayer.
I'm Michel Kassett.
-> MIKE & CROW: (sounding depressed) Hi Michel.
-> TOM: (rears back in seat, breathing raggedly) Oh! Phew! For a second
there that looked a bit like Mitchell! Had me worried.
-> MIKE: (patting Tom's dome) That's OK. I understand.
This is Network 23. A couple of weeks ago
we had a program on the subject of AIDS, addressing the question of whether
AIDS -- the AIDS virus --
-> CROW: Oh, *THAT* AIDS.
was created by the government; and I'm sure that
some people were quite shocked by what they heard.
-> TOM: Yeah, all two of them.
We spent that entire
program relating to you the evidence of a very substantial amount of factual
evidence
-> MIKE: (in reporter's voice) We have evidence that factual evidence
exists, but we thought you'd enjoy hearing ABOUT the factual evidence,
rather than hearing the actual factual evidence ITSELF.
which supports the proposition that AIDS is a synthetic biological
-> TOM: Hehe! It's almost an oxymoron. Like "Freezer Burn."
-> MIKE: Or "Jumbo Shrimp."
-> TOM: Or "Fast Food."
-> CROW: Huh?
agent that was deliberately engineered by the US government as an instrument
of depopulation.
-> MIKE: Hey, you know, I think this may be how the Mads got their start.
This is by far the most
-> ALL: Dumb?
controversial and dangerous
-> TOM: Not to mention ludicrous and preposterous...
subject
that we have ever addressed on this program, so I would like to review briefly
the major points
-> CROW: Points, schmoints -- this is still dull as hell.
-- the most significant pieces of evidence -- that I
presented two weeks ago.
The first point was that in the early 1970's, Henry Kissinger wrote a top
secret document -- a National Security Memorandum ("NSM 200") -- in which he
indicated that "depopulation should be the highest priority of US foreign
policy towards the Third World."
-> TOM: Oh, how noble of him to try to solve the world's overpopulation
problems. Mike, I sincerely hope that you did not vote for this guy.
-> MIKE: Nah -- I was too young. You're not really BUYING this, are you?
This Memorandum which can be obtained from
the US National Archives,
-> CROW: Remember that warehouse at the end of _Raiders_? It's in there.
which was only declassified very quietly in 1990,
was adopted by the National Security Council as official US foreign policy
towards the Third World. Now, this is a classic example of the "secret
government" in action, because of none of this was known to the Congress, and
certainly, it was not known to the American people. Did any of you know that
depopulation was considered a matter of US national security?
-> TOM & CROW: Uh, no.
-> MIKE: Aaaattcchhoooo!!! (Mike sneezes on Crow.) Sorry.
-> CROW: Bless you.
Did any of you
know that for the past 20 years, depopulation has been the highest long-range
priority of US foreign policy towards the Third World?
-> MIKE: But then where would we get cheap labor?
No you didn't, because
it was classified -- it was a secret.
I would like to read for you just a piece of this document.
-> CROW: I've had enough ALREADY!
It is written by
Henry Kissinger:
"Reduction of the rate of population in these States is a matter of vital US
national security." [National Security Memorandum, Henry Kissinger]
-> TOM: Do you suppose that just *MAYBE* this is taken out of context?
-> MIKE: That's assuming he even wrote it at all.
And we even have a map of those areas in which Kissinger indicates where
depopulation would be desireable. It's all Third World countries -- it's all
brown people and yellow people, of course.
-> MIKE: Can't we all just get along?
"The US economy will require large and increasing amounts of minerals from
abroad,
-> CROW: Not to mention *HUGE* tracts of land...
especially from less-developed countries. That fact gives the US
enhanced interests in the political, economic and social stability of the
supplying countries.
-> MIKE: I think the US government should enhance their interest in
journalistic credibility.
Wherever a lessening of population can increase the
prospects for such stability, population policy becomes relevant to resources,
supplies and to the economic interests of the United States." [National
Security Memorandum, Henry Kissinger]
-> TOM: This is STILL a far cry from advocating mass murder.
Now, when Kissinger says "economic interests of the United States..." he means
the interests of US corporations, which are in fact, multi-national
corporations, with no loyalty to this country whatsoever.
-> MIKE: In fact, they are all ultimately controlled by funny looking
space aliens.
NSM 200, unlike
other government documents on the subject, outlined "international and
political and economic implications of population growth..." rather than its
ecological or sociological aspects. Like we have been saying all along,
-> TOM: Michel Kassett has multiple personalities!
the
New World Order is a business, and the US Government is in the business of
business.
-> CROW: Oh, THAT was clever.
Now, the next document was from the US Senate Library.
-> MIKE: It used to be -- but then I/we boosted it for this show.
It is a record of the
Appropriations Hearing that was held in July of 1969, where the Department of
the Army specifically requested and received $10 million to develop "a
synthetic biological
-> TOM: Military Intelligence!
-> MIKE: Student Athlete!
-> CROW: I still don't get that "fast food" one...
-> MIKE: I'll tell you later.
agent that would impair or destroy the human immune
system." This is from the US Senate Library.
-> CROW: So... This is from the US Senate Library?
-> TOM: Yep. Pretty much.
We also made reference to
several published articles from the World Health Organization, written about
the same time, which advocated similar kinds of research toward the
development of "a hybrid virus that could selectively effect the human immune
system."
-> MIKE: (English teacher's voice) No, no, no! *E*ffect means the result
of a cause; *A*ffect means influence or change.
Like it not, these documents all exist.
-> ALL: We don't like it ONE BIT!
The Kissinger Memorandum, the Army
Appropriations Hearing, the articles from the World Health Organization; these
are official records -- facts of history -- that can not be disputed.
-> MIKE: AAATTTCCCHHHOOO!!! (Mike sneezes again, this time on Tom.)
-> TOM: Bless you.
-> MIKE: Sorry Tom. (Mike begins to wipe Tom's dome with his sleeve.)
I think maybe I'm coming down with something.
We also pointed out an incredible coincidence. The World Health Organization
went into Central Africa in 1972 -- into an area that is known as the "AIDS
Belt"
-> TOM: As opposed to the AIDS baseball cap or the AIDS long-sleeved
pull-over sweatshirt.
-> CROW: Well, there's the problem right there! How the heck is wearing
a belt supposed to prevent the transmission of bodily fluids?
-- and administered a smallpox vaccination to several thousands of
Africans. This event was followed immediately by the first outbreak of AIDS
on this planet -- a remarkable coincidence
-> MIKE: What, that the AIDS outbreak struck on this planet, instead of
Jupiter or Saturn?
-> CROW: Or Uranus?
-> MIKE: Uh, Crow...
-> CROW: (innocently) What? ... What?
-- that was noted as a Front Page
Headline in the London Times, but has never even been mentioned in the US
Media -- never even mentioned.
-> TOM: Now wait just a second. If the _World_ Health Organization
started the AIDS epidemic, why is the US the only country to blame?
Another startling fact that was never mentioned in the mainstream media
-> CROW: Only in cheesy sub-subversive conspiracy theories like this...
-- the
Hepatitis B Vaccine that was given to several thousand male homosexuals in New
York and San Francisco in 1978.
-> TOM: -- not a complete sentence.
The fact is, every single person who received
that vaccine contracted AIDS -- every single one of them -- without exception.
-> MIKE: OK, so... *NONE* of them *DIDN'T* get AIDS...
That is what the first American victims of AIDS all had in common.
-> CROW: What? That they were all flaming -- (Mike clamps his hand over
Crow's mouth)
-> MIKE: (very serious) Croooow? I'm warning you.
-> CROW: (muttering, after a brief pause) That's one "O".
They were
receivers of the Hepatitis B Vaccine. It is a document fact. AIDS began in
America in 1978 in the homosexual communities of New York and San Francisco,
immediately following a government-sponsored program of Hepatitis B
Vaccinations. This is all completely documented -- it is completely true.
-> TOM: Yeah -- *EVERYTHING* that gets into print is true.
In our first program, we made many references to material that you can and
should read, such as the Strecker Memorandum, by Dr. Robert Strecker.
-> MIKE: In fact, all of our really controversial material came from
Dr. Strecker. The next two sources are just added here because
the mere mention of their titles makes it sound like we did some
actual research. In truth, these books have nothing at all to do
with the topic our show is undressing.
Another
work called "Who Murdered Africa," by Dr. William Douglas.
-> CROW: I don't think it was Shaka Zulu.
And an incredible
book called "A Higher Form of Killing," which documents over 500 specific
cases of biological experimentation by our government on an unsuspecting
public. If you don't think they do "that kind of thing," you are simply
uninformed.
-> MIKE: I'm *REALLY* starting to wonder if the Mads were somehow
involved in this. I mean, they'd love "that kind of thing."
-> TOM: Well Mike, I'm not sure it's any comfort, but it doesn't
really seem like their style.
-> MIKE: I hope you're right, little buddy.
We also read you an official government report from the Royal Society of
Medicine in Great Britain, in which they state unequivocally that "saliva and
blood are vastly more infectious than genital secretions,"
-> CROW: Uh, Mike?
and "that AIDS
meets none of the criterion of a venereal disease.
-> CROW: Mike, what's he talking about?
-> MIKE: We'll talk about it later.
That despite the
misrepresentations of the American Medical Establishment and the American
Government, AIDS is not primarily a sexually transmitted disease." All of
that, according to the Royal Society of Medicine in Great Britain. That's a
document that we have and we'll come back to it in just a moment.
-> TOM: (shaking) I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
We also shared with you information and opinions from many highly-respected
physicians, like Dr. Robert Strecker, Dr. William Douglas, Dr. Cantwell, Dr.
Hazeltine, Dr. Alonso,
-> MIKE: Highly respected?! By story-starved journalists with a penchant
for doomsday stories with a conspiracy twist, maybe...
who all agree that the AIDS virus could never have
occurred spontaneously in Nature. That animal viruses cannot jump species,
-> CROW: What? Then how can so many different types of animals get
rabies? Or leukemia?
as
we are being told they did, as we are being asked to believe happened -- when
allegedly, a green monkey bit an Africa and precipitated the pandemic of AIDS.
-> TOM: Wait -- so a Martian monkey bit the whole continent of Africa?
That *IS* pretty hard to believe.
-> MIKE: Classic straw-man, if I ever saw one.
We know as a scientific fact that viruses cannot jump species, unless they are
specifically engineered to do so. And we also know for a scientific fact that
the AIDS virus bears no resemblance whatsoever to any virus ever found in a
green monkey,
-> CROW: I wonder how many of these Martian monkeys they found and
tested...
but does bear a total resemblance to cow virus and sheep virus,
which have somehow been bonded together.
-> TOM: What the...?
The only possible way these two
different species of virus could bond together would be in a laboratory --
something engineered in a laboratory -- and then further engineered to make
the jump into a human system.
-> MIKE: You have *GOT* to be kidding me...
We talked about the Laws of Virology, which state that for every case of
infection -- viral infection --
-> CROW: Oh, is there another kind?
that is known and reported, there are 99 cases
that are unknown and unreported. This means that if we have 200,000 known
cases of AIDS, then there are 20 million right behind it.
-> TOM: Actually, 99 * 200,000 is only 19,800,000.
20 million
Americans who are HIV positive and do not know it.
-> MIKE: One reporter who can't make a complete sentence.
We also shared quotes from
several doctors who believe that the HIV infection rate has now reached
approximately 100 million people on the Continent of Africa; 30 to 50 million
in Asia; and no less than 20 million in the United States.
-> TOM: Excuse me -- I believe I just pointed out that by your OWN
calculation, there should only be 19,800,000.
Again, the Laws of Virology state that the rate of infection for a retrovirus,
like the AIDS virus, the rate of infection will double approximately every 12
months.
-> CROW: Now, was that sentence redundant, or was that sentence redundant?
Another frightening fact that no one has bothered to tell us, is that
there are six different basic types of the AIDS virus, and that each of these
basic types, being what is called a "recombinant retrovirus," has a
recombinant potential of 9,000 to the Fourth Power. "Recombinant" means the
ability to change and recombine into something new, and the calculation 9,000
to the Fourth Power times 6 is literally in the hundreds of millions of
trillions of different possible forms and manifestations of the AIDS virus.
[Note, the number calculated is 354,294,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 variations
of the AIDS virus].
-> CROW: *HOW* many zeros is that?
-> MIKE: Quite a few.
Now that means that you would need a vaccine for every
possible choice that the virus could make, which is technically impossible;
truthfully, realistically impossible. It's like the influenza virus --
there's no vaccine. There are simply too many strains of it, too many
different varieties, to ever develop a single, comprehensive vaccine.
-> MIKE: Whoa, guys... I think I'm starting to feel ill.
-> TOM: Yeah Mike, I know what you mean. Hey, if we were organic, we'd
probably feel the same way.
-> MIKE: No, I mean I'm *REALLY* starting to feel ill. You don't
think... I mean, what if maybe the Mads... You know, before they
sent me up here...
-> CROW: Hey Mike -- relax! Frank and Dr. F couldn't possibly be
responsible for AIDS. I mean, sure -- they ARE sadistic lunatics
but they're relatively small-time Mads when compared to the Big Boys
who work for Uncle Sam. So, you're probably fine! I mean, as long
as... You know... (Crow looks Mike up and down.) Uhhhh... Right,
well, I'm sure that you're illness is simply due to this post.
-> MIKE: (cheering up) Oh, good.
The bottom line? We are not being told the truth about this plague. In the
words of Dr. Hazeltine in his testimony to Congress: "AIDS is a species
threatening disease." Now, I don't want to appear to bleak or too hopeless.
-> CROW: BUT YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE SLOW AND MISERABLE DEATHS! (looks
at Mike) I'm just kidding, you know. (Mike nods, frowning.)
All of these doctors believe that some type of cure is possible, but that
we're going to need a lot more money,
-> TOM: Now, why doesn't that surprise me?
and we're going to have to move beyond
the strangle hold of the Medical Establishment -- the AMA.
-> MIKE: Well, isn't that ironic? We're being metaphorically strangled
by the Medical Establishment. I always thought they were just sucking
my blood...
And since he lives
here in Los Angeles, I'm now going to put the number of Dr. Robert Strecker up
on the screen --
-> TOM: Well, if that's the only criteria, what about the other three and
a half million people who live in Los Angeles?
I'm going to flash that number for you now.
-> ALL: AAAGGGHHH!
Please put that
up, thank you. [213 344-8039].
-> CROW: Once again, that's Y-O-U A-R-E D-U-M-B.
I urge you to write down this number and to
make this call. Please call Dr. Strecker. All you have to do is call,
-> MIKE: Geez, I guess they really want us to call this number...
and he
will send you information -- important critical information -- on the subject
of AIDS.
-> CROW: But only *AFTER* he cashes your check for $49.95, to cover the
processing fee. Yeah, that's it...
Alright. About 3 weeks ago we played an excerpt from a speech by Craig Hulet,
and tonight I want to play you something else from that speech which relates
to the subject of AIDS. For those who do not know him, Craig Hulet was a
former advisor to the National Security Council
-> TOM: Ah, OK. So now they bring in the supreme authority whom nobody
has ever heard of. This is just like a bad movie...
and a former consultant to
several multi-national corporations, and he has, as they say; "come in from
the cold..." -- he has crossed over
-> CROW: Yeah pal, well I've had my wires crossed once or twice too,
but usually when that happens I end up being *WRONG*.
and has spent the last 3 or 4 years
writing and lecturing on the subject of the New World Order - sharing with
everyone who will listen, the breadth and the scope of his knowledge and
experience.
-> MIKE: Phew! Bad breadth! Try a liddle more of dat scope negst time.
Mr. Hulet knows first-hand the kind of men who are running the world.
-> CROW: He knows Ted Turner?
He knows what they're up to and he is trying to warn us.
-> TOM: A sequel to _Casablanca_?!
-> ALL: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!
-> TOM: No! It *CAN'T* be! Is nothing sacred?
-> CROW: Yeah -- it's gonna be _Casablanca II: The Quickening_...
-> MIKE: Hehe... Yeah, or _C2: Judgement Day_...
-> CROW: Or _Casablanca: The Next Generation_
-> TOM: (sobbing quietly) It can't be true... It can't be true...
Now, on this list of
alternative sources of information, which so many people are writing in to
receive
-> MIKE: Well hey, if everyone else is doing it...
-- you know all you have to do is send in a stamped, self-addressed
envelope, and we'll send you one
-> CROW: Along with that bill for just $49.95, of course.
-- the name at the top of this list is Craig
Hulet. He is an indispensable connection. So, right now I want to play for
you a small excerpt from a speech that he gave on July 25th at the Hilton
Hotel in Los Angeles.
-> TOM: ...to a couple of vagrant winos who had wandered into the bar...
His subject was George Bush and the New World Order,
but at the end of the evening, he was asked a specific question about AIDS,
and this is how he responded:
"... biological warfare virus by the US Military. Sure... I really hate that
subject.
-> MIKE: After reading this post, who wouldn't?
You know, we're never, ever going to be able to prove -- Strecker,
William Douglas -- we'll never be able to prove that AIDS was developed
specifically to reduce the populations of Central Africa, the black inner
cities, drug users, prostitutes and homosexuals.
-> CROW: At least he's admitting it.
But it just seems strange to
me that all through the 1960's and 1970's, there were books published;
-> MIKE: Books were published, and that seems strange to you? Nuts, I
was just beginning to get some confidence in this guy...
[the]
Global 2000 Report to the President, [the] the Club of Rome wrote a book on
over-population
-> TOM: Which was followed, in turn, by its even *LESS* popular sequel,
_Attack Of The The Eye Creatures_.
-- I must have 50 books on over-population and the need to get
rid of a certain large amount of people on the planet. Now, they never say
which people out to be gotten rid of, but it seems a major coincidence that
the same people that are starving in Ethiopia, in the Sudan, are the same
people that getting AIDS and dying. By the year 2000, they expect 60 million
blacks in Central Africa to die of AIDS. 60 million!
-> MIKE: Aaah -- aaaaaahhh -- aaaAAATTTCCCHHHOOOOOOO!!! (Mike somehow
manages to spray both 'bots with his violent sneeze.)
-> TOM & CROW: Bless you.
-> MIKE: I can't figure out how I got sick up here in space... (Mike
wipes his nose with his hands and then shakes them clean.)
It could be as many as
20 million in America. Homosexuals, predominantly, and the interesting thing
is, it is not a homosexual disease. It IS a man-made, mutated disease. It
had to have been man-made. Sheep do not get together and do chemical
experiments on their viruses.
-> MIKE: Yeah. Mainly they just stick to thought experiments.
So, a man had to graft this bovine virus, which
they know that's what it is, onto a human cell. It had to be made. So we
know its man-made.
-> TOM: Sure Craig. If you say so.
They know it's transmitted with the... because they know
the most effective device...
-> MIKE: What ... going ... here? We seem to ... kind of technical ...
Maybe it will get worse...
the best test to discover if you have AIDS... is
not a blood test, it's a saliva test.
-> ALL: TEST THIS! (all make loud hawking noises and spit at screen)
Now why haven't they told us that?"
"It's not a sexually transmitted disease, it's simply a disease that gets
transmitted. And you can transmit it by sneezing on someone.
-> TOM & CROW: (Both look at Mike.) Miiiike?
-> MIKE: (Looking helplessly back and forth.) Hey, you guys both said
I was fine, remember?
-> CROW: Just the same -- I'm taking back all those blessings...
Why don't they
tell us that? In the Congressional Record, it says that it can be transmitted
"effectively" by mosquitos. It says so. The Center for Disease Control, in
the Congressional Record, says that it is transmitted by mosquitos in
Belgrade, Florida -- they know it for a fact. Why haven't they told us that
AIDS is being transmitted by mosquitos?
-> TOM: Hey, mosquitos should have the right to privacy too!
-> CROW: Yeah, you can't be prejudiced against bugs just because they
carry a LIFE THREATENING DISEASE. What if people found out?
They say it to themselves in the
Congressional Record, why don't they tell us?"
"OK. Here's my theory. Whether or not [AIDS] was created for the purpose of
exterminating the very same, coincidentally, same anti-social element that the
men I did business with for 15 or 20 years, though ought to be gotten rid of
anyways; homosexuals, prostitutes, blacks, etc., and of course, the Black
Continent -- they want the resources but they certainly don't want to feed the
people, see?
-> CROW: Yeah, and it costs more to store the food than to give it.
Why is that they are allowing all of these myths to be told --
the destruction to take place, and they're doing nothing to stop it?
-> MIKE: Why hasn't anybody done anything to stop this mindless drivel?
Here's
my theory, and this is all it is -- is a theory -- that they'll find a cure
when about 1 billion people on this planet have died from AIDS, starvation and
disease -- all over the world, all of sudden Eli Lilly, who is one of the
major corporations doing AIDS research -- and coincidentally, George Bush on
the Board of Eli Lilly -- when they finally eliminate huge sections of the
population, which is what they always wanted throughout the 1960's and 1970's,
because of over-population -- it's called "mitigating the problem."
-> TOM: Wow! That was one mother-of-a-sentence!
They feel
that AIDS and famine and disease will mitigate the problem of over-population.
I suspect that around the year 2010 or so,
-> MIKE: Something's going to happen...
-> CROW: What? What's going to happen?
-> MIKE: Something...wonderful.
all of a sudden Eli Lilly will
announce that they've found a phenomenal cure for AIDS, but not until a lot
people die. Because like I said, it seems a major coincidence to me that the
very same people that the men I did business with for years, dislike the most,
those people who just happen to be the ones that are contracting AIDS --
happens to be some of the ones that are dying in famines, pestilence and
bombing into the Stone Age like we just did --
-> CROW: Mike, what the hell is he talking about? (Mike shrugs.)
I don't believe in the
"Coincidence Theory of History" -- I just don't.
-> TOM: Oh, and I suppose you ALSO don't think there's a coincidence
between the similar cycles of sunspots and the stock market!
I haven't for a long time
because the CIA, the National Security Council is too brilliantly planned.
They plan everything to the most minute detail. I can't believe that all of
this is a coincidence. That's all I can say though."
-> ALL: HOORRAY!
"I'm going to do a White Paper on that one of these days.
-> TOM: White paper, eh? How original? How about some nice mauve
stationary for a change?
One of the reasons
I haven't is that if you talk about AIDS, you never get invited on the
university campus -- you follow me? So I never address AIDS... for 4 years
I've had material on AIDS that addresses this in some fundamental way, and
some of it was very good documentation, proving some of the things that I just
said, but I have never discussed it because of you discuss AIDS, I guarantee
you, you will never be a speaker on the university campuses."
-> MIKE: ...or my name STILL isn't Craig Hulet!
[Craig Hulet]
Once again, I want to say that even though it may not be proved in any
"absolute" sense, because absolute proof is impossible in a relative universe,
and that's one of the tricks of the cynic or the skeptic, is that they demand
absolute proof, knowing full well there is no such thing as absolute proof,
there is only evidence, and a certain point you make a decision on the basis
of the evidence -- you make a decision which becomes your belief -- on the
basis of the evidence.
-> CROW: Did you hear something just now?
-> TOM: Yeah -- this guy was just screaming "I HAVE A VERY WEAK CASE!"
-> MIKE: First he says that he has "factual evidence" and now he says
that there's no "absolute proof" -- what gives?
-> CROW: Well, I'll tell you one thing... I don't give a --
-> MIKE: Ahem! (Crow mutters something under his breath.)
So, on the basis of the evidence, it is my belief, it is my conviction at a
very deep level, that AIDS was deliberately created and implemented by the
United States Government
-> TOM: So, what happened to the World Health Organization?
-- more specifically by certain individuals, most
notably Henry Kissinger, Brent Scowcroft and George Herbert Walker Bush, who
was the Director of the CIA at that time, when the Kissinger Memorandum was
adopted by the National Security Council. I can't prove it absolutely, by I
personally believe that Bush was deeply involved -- a major player --
particularly in the implementation of this epidemic.
-> CROW: Everybody's looking for a scapegoat...
-> MIKE: Yeah -- remember that when you point a finger at someone else,
there are FOUR fingers pointing back at you.
There's an
article in the LA Times yesterday that says "Bush Defends AIDS Budget" and
"urges behavioral changes." There was a protest demonstration in
Kennebunkport, Maine -- the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power marched through
the tiny downtown area of Kennebunkport. Bush criticized the gay activists
for "hurting holiday business" in this picturesque New England resort,
-> TOM: Excuse me? I don't think I caught that...
for "hurting holiday business."
-> TOM: Oh. Well, that *DOES* seem a bit callous, I suppose.
-> MIKE: Perhaps, but activists of any sort can really let things get
out of hand during a protest.
Quote (this is Bush talking); "To the degree the message hits some merchant in
Kennebunkport, on the best weekend possible, and caused them to close their
doors, I got that part of it, and I didn't like it." This is one cold
reptile.
-> CROW: WHOA! Whatever happened to journalistic objectivity and
impartial reporting?
He goes on to say; "You know why they were here. I know why they
were here. They were here because you all are here," said the President to
the White House Press Corp. "They were here because they can get television
coverage, and to some degree, print coverage, because the President happened
to be at home."
-> TOM: Don't tell me this guy is trying to dispute that! Of *COURSE*
that's why they were there!
You see, he is contemptuous, he is contemptuous
-> MIKE: Why does he keep doing that? Why does he keep doing that?
of the people that have this
disease. A spokesperson for the demonstrators said that most of Bush's AIDS
policy has gone into research on AZT,
-> CROW: Alkaloid Zeppelin Transports?
-> TOM: Aquatic Zuchinni Thrusters?
-> MIKE: Hang on -- I'll look it up.
a drug that they said, at best, can only
slow the progression of the disease. It's like junk food for viruses.
-> TOM: Mmmmmmm... I *WANT* some!
-> MIKE: Ah! Here it is! AZT stands for azidodideoxythymidine.
-> TOM: Oh... Well, uh, I just lost my appetite.
As Hulet just said, they don't want to stop it, it's "mitigating the problem,"
it's getting rid of the undesirables. When asked what he thought should be
done about the AIDS crisis, Bush said; "I'm in favor of behavioral change."
-> ALL: SO?
Now what is the subtext? What is he saying? He's speaking to his 80%
constituency, telling them what they want to hear, and he is saying basically
that AIDS is caused by immoral behavior, immoral sexual behavior or immoral
drug use. He knows that's a lie, but he is a liar, so what do you expect.
He's the master of deception.
-> TOM: (in Bush voice) I am evil incarnate. Hail to The Master.
-> ALL: ALL HAIL MANOS! (Everyone except Tom reaches toward the screen
with pathetic Torgo-like hand movements.)
He was in on it, I have no doubt whatsoever.
We said we were going to return this document. This is the House of Common
Social Services Committee, and this is a document prepared by the Royal
Society of Medicine. You can not get more official than this in Great
Britain.
-> MIKE: Ah, their ace in the hole...
And this is what they say:
"The scale of the deceptions and misinformation perpetrated by virologists,
clinicians and editors of scientific and medical journals about the
infectivity of genital secretions, compared with that of blood and saliva, has
been astonishing. In the presence of a new, lethal virus,
-> ALL: (Snore...)
spreading amongst
people, for which no vaccine or cure is in sight, every person would assume
that scientists have been working day and night to verify how it is
transmitted. On the contrary, having assumed for a variety of motives that
AIDS is a sexually transmitted disease like syphilis or gonorrhea, a
negligible research effort has gone into the critical matter of transmission.
-> CROW: You know something, Mike?
-> MIKE: (Snore...)
-> CROW: Normally, talk like this would have my naughty circuits all
fired up and smoking hot... But for some reason (yawn), I just canUt
seem to... (YAWN...) Stay... Awake... (Snore...)
A few preliminary papers were published and their findings have been
repeatedly quoted as showing the opposite of what they actually showed. When
this was pointed out in letters to the editors of American medical and
scientific journals, publication has been refused. No attempt has been made
to check or double-check the findings in other laboratories, or to rectify
-> ALL: (jerk spasmodically awake)
-> TOM: Eeew. Did he HAVE to use that word?
-> CROW: That word reminds me of Mitchell.
published errors."
"As far as it goes,
-> TOM: I think this has gone on FAR too long already.
-> CROW: Indeed.
the tiny research effort into infectivity of bodily fluids
indicates that saliva is far more infectious than genital secretions,
-> MIKE: Well, at least now there might be some understandable reason
behind the law about not spitting on the sidewalk.
but that
blood is vastly more infectious than either. Consequently, the idea that
condoms can have any significant effect on the spread of AIDS in a nation is
utterly preposterous."
This is the Royal Society of Medicine in Great Britain. I'll continue...
-> ALL: NOOOO!!!
"Governments all over the world are spending millions of pounds [dollars],
advising their citizens to prevent AIDS by using condoms on the basis of
MANIFESTLY FRAUDULENT misrepresentation of scientific evidence."
-> CROW: So, itUs a conspiracy between the government and the condom
manufacturers, is that it?
You know, if they're going to spend millions of your tax dollars on televised
warnings,
-> MIKE: Actually, I canUt help wondering why ANY MONEY AT ALL was spent
on THIS television show.
don't you think they ought to include cuts and wounds and saliva
-> TOM: Now, this is just getting needlessly disgusting.
and breathing it into the lungs,
-> CROW: By this time, my lungs were ACHING for air...
-> TOM: You had to work that in somewhere, didn't you?
which apparently happens -- 16,000 health care
workers are infected by AIDS. Ask them.
-> MIKE: You got their telephone numbers?
Ask the ones who believe their
superiors at the AMA about the costs of ignorance. You want the truth about
AIDS? Get outside the American Blackout. Get outside the boundaries of the
so-called "freest nation on Earth."
-> MIKE: I think that here on the SOL I'm about as far away as I can get,
and honestly fellas, I just want to get back home.
Back in the 1960's you know, we used to feel sorry for the Russian people,
because we knew they weren't getting the whole picture.
-> CROW: And they didn't get all those cool recreational drugs...
-> TOM: Yeah, this guy obviously tripped on LSD, and now he gets the
"whole picture" -- AND THEN SOME.
We wondered what that
must be like. My god, it was hard to imagine.
-> MIKE: Hey pal, you've shown CONSIDERABLE imagination so far.
Well, now we know. Now we
know exactly what it's like, to live in a society where crucial information --
information critical to our survival is being controlled and suppressed by the
government.
The bottom line?
-> ALL: HOOORAY!
Very serious bad guys are in control of your planet.
-> ALL: BOOOOOO!
And
the name at the top of the list is George Bush. George Herbert Walker Bush,
Emperor of the Earth and Supreme Commander of the Dark Side of the Force.
-> ALL: (Laugh uproariously...)
-> MIKE: Whatever credibility might still have been left in this post
has just been utterly dashed to pieces.
-> TOM: (in Bush voice) Mike, join me, and together we can spread AIDS
to the ends of the galaxy!
-> MIKE: I'll never join you!
-> TOM: (in Bush voice) Mike, I am your father.
-> MIKE: NOOOO!!!
Well, we're out of time.
-> CROW: Well, that's convenient, because I'm out of patience.
Good night. I hope to see you all again next week.
-> MIKE: Don't bet on it.
If I don't, you will certainly know why."
-> TOM: He must know that any sane person will feel compelled to kill
him after this.
============================================================================
END OF TRANSCRIPTION OF NETWORK 23 PROGRAM.
-> MIKE: Well guys, let's get out of here.
<SOL>
-> CROW: There's still one thing I'm not clear on.
-> MIKE: What's that?
-> CROW: "Fast Food." Why is that an oxymoron? I mean, SOMETIMES you
get your food in a reasonable amount of time...
-> TOM: Well, this one works on a slightly different principle than most
other oxymorons. Instead of taking the first word as an incongruous
modifier for the second, think of the two words individually.
-> CROW: Huh?
-> MIKE: Well, when you take "fast" as a verb --
-> TOM: Fasting and food are, by definition, mutually exclusive.
-> CROW: Oh. Yeah. Whatever.
-> MIKE: Uh-oh, Rool and Franjean are calling.
<Deep 13>
[Frank tip-toes up to the screen, no longer wearing his environmental suit at
all. He is grinning smugly, and holding a bannana peel in one hand.]
-> FRANK: Hehe... I think I might finally have a little peace now. You
see, I *FAKED* dropping that vial with Dr. F's killer virus in it. He
just got done watching Stephen King's _The Stand_ miniseries, and was
all fired up to do something similar... Anyway, I managed to freak him
out enough that I haven't seen him around since your post started...
Yeah, what a cowardly --
-> DR. F: Oh Fraaaaank?
[Surprised, Frank drops the bannana peel and cringes, causing his neck to
virtually disappear.]
-> DR. F: I found the REAL vial with my baby virus in it... And now --
if you'll excuse us, Mike -- I think it's time to TEST it!
[Dr. Forrester advances menacingly on Frank, holding the vial in front of him,
as though he means to force it down Frank's throat. Frank retreats, and
stumbles against the control panel.]
***PHWOOOOSH!***
[voice-over during credits]
-> FRANK: Wait! Look out for my --
[There is a slipping sound, as of a foot sliding on a bannana peel. Betchya
couldn't see THAT one coming.]
-> DR. F: Aaaarrrggghhh!
[There is a large crash, followed by the sounds of breaking glass, hissing
fumes, and muffled screams.]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MiSTing by Dan Siemens
Insert standard disclaimers here. If Jim Mallon wants to sue for copyright
infringement, he can BITE ME! (Sorry, but I'm still just a bit miffed about
how the Brains can complain about copyright infringement regarding the Stack
O' Love, when their entire show is essentially based on just that.) As to the
origin of this post, I honestly can't remember exactly where I picked it up.
I don't think it was on the net, so it was probably some cheesy local BBS. As
far as I know, this is a genuine transcript of a real LA TV show.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The bottom line? Very serious bad guys are in control of your planet. And
the name at the top of the list is George Bush. George Herbert Walker Bush,
Emperor of the Earth and Supreme Commander of the Dark Side of the Force.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------