MiSTed: Animaniacs "Skippy's Mom" [ 2 / 2 ]
Joseph Nebus
[ SOL DESK. GYPSY, CROW and TOM are reviewing papers on the desk. JOEL
enters, playing paddleball. ]
CROW: Oh, yes, fascinating.
GYPSY: Keen.
CROW: It's like a blueprint to our futures.
JOEL: [ Continuing to play ] Having fun, guys?
CROW: [ Pretentious ] Fun, Joel? We seek our destiny.
TOM: And it's real easy to get, too.
JOEL: I'm going to dig deep here and guess you guys have decided to
give INK tests to yourselves?
CROW: Of course not.
GYPSY: Duh.
CROW: We don't have INK.
TOM: So we took the B-O-T tests.
CROW: And worked them out for ourselves.
TOM: Not just ourselves! Everyone! History belongs to those with the
perfect B-O-T sequence coursing through their bloodstreams.
CROW: For instance, it turns out my future will lead inevitably to me
being fed ice cream sandwiches all day while watching E!
network fashion specials.
JOEL: Uhm... yeah.
TOM: And I shall someday have a lucritive career constructing models
of 'Arcee,' the sometimes-seen female Transformer, out of
everyday articles found around the house while being treated
to pudding cups and frozen White Castle hamburgers by my kind
and willing servents.
JOEL: Uhhuh. And Gypsy?
GYPSY: I'm going to direct the live-action "Speed Buggy" movie.
TOM: And be Executive Producer for "Jabberjaw: The Next Generation."
JOEL: With an able-bodied, devoted staff of followers, right?
TOM: Follower, actually.
GYPSY: Just one.
JOEL: Would this be the same guy serving Crow and Tom all day?
GYPSY: Oh yeah.
TOM: He'd get regular coffee breaks. With popcorn priveleges.
CROW: Yeah. And it could be any... kindhearted, kinda cute guy, really.
JOEL: But it's going to be me, right?
CROW: Well, we'd have to work up your BOT tests to know.
TOM: Pump it through the gene sequencer, test sample growth within
controlled media, extensive electron microscopy...
CROW: But, yeah, it's gonna be you.
GYPSY: Yup.
TOM: No way around it, Joel.
JOEL: Could I see the raw data on this?
GYPSY: We made everything up.
CROW: It's the only way to be objective.
JOEL: I've got to get you three more board games.
TOM: Can we get a DVD player instead?
[ MOVIE SIGN flashes ]
JOEL: Later -- we got movie sign!
[ General pandemonium. ]
[ 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. ]
[ ALL file in ]
>
> Chapter 5 - The start
JOEL: Shouldn't that have happened before the fifth chapter?
> ---------------------
> Rita and her new son Skippy had moved in with Slappy almost a month ago
> now,
TOM: No, no, not a month ago now -- a month ago back then.
CROW: When, just now?
JOEL: No, we passed then already. It's nearer now.
TOM: Nearer to now or nearer to then?
CROW: Then, then, or the then just now?
JOEL: Will Rick Moranis please clear the theater? Thank you.
> Skippy had almost forgotten about being a squirrel entirly except
CROW: In restaurants that offer discounts to rodents under the age of ten.
> when late at night he'd wake from a horrible nightmare and not be able to
> remeber it, which was a shame as he would never know if it was the or not
> nightmare remebering which was worse.
JOEL: Black even, raider six, Green odd, seven, Green even, eight, Red
even reassigned to nine, Red odd, four, leaders assist as
necessary your wings.
> Rita too had forgotten what it was like to be free, as far as she was
> concened Skippy was the most important thing in the world.
CROW: Next to the TV Food Network.
> Much to the amazement of Runt who after saving the world several times
ALL: [ Shaking in disbelief ] Bleahlelalela.
> <See the daily perodi-stories if you really want to know..>
TOM: There's a periodic table of "Runt" stories?
CROW: I just had a chilling vision of our future.
> had returned only to find that his best friend had new responsiblities.
> Slappy did very little, she mostly just sat in her rocking chair staring
> at Rita and Skippy playing happily like cats normally do.
JOEL: This is the fourth-worst New Year's party I've ever seen.
> "Erm Slappy.." Runt said agian.
CROW: Agian? See?
> "What, oh it's you.." Slappy said sadly.
> "I'm worried slappy; about you and about Rita.
JOEL: Why do you wear bagels?
> You just sit there
> everyday doing nothing, the C.E.O. Called,
TOM: Apparently, you have a job.
> he says that unless you come
> in they'll revoke your pay or play contract and make it play for pay, he
> said the same thing about Rita and Skippy..."
CROW: But if being a wandering homeless cat is just a part why did Rita
need a home or...
JOEL: It's really not healthy to wonder about the metaphysics of cartoons.
TOM: Yeah, if you keep that up you'll end up trying to establish Barney
Rubble's job.
> He stopped himself
> mid-sentence, "I don't think anyone has told the studio about him yet."
> Slappy just ignored Runt and stared at an old picture of Skippy.
CROW: I think she's missed the point of a screen saver.
> Runt snapped his claws and Slappy came around.
TOM: [ As Slappy ] "You know, no matter how packed with peanuts,
Snickers just doesn't satisfy me."
> "Slappy a wise old friend of mine once said actions do things;
> thoughts don't..." Runt said gently.
JOEL: Coincidentally, Slappy said that too, but not anywhere near Runt.
> Slappy for the first time in a while listened, she sat up.
> "You know something Runt, you're right..."
CROW: Playing tennis with potato chips is just dumb.
> Slappy replied leaving her
> chair, she walked over to a large desk and opened it, from inside she
> took another key
TOM: Ah, the key to the mystery!
JOEL: There is no mystery.
TOM: That's why we need the key to it.
JOEL: Ooooh...
> and went across the room to a small drawer which she
> unlocked as well, there where a row of 10 keys she counted along to the
> 8th key and took it
CROW: She then ignored the eighth key and took the first one.
> she then went a picture of skippy and herself hanging
> the wall she moved on it away to revel a safe.
JOEL: It's a 1/6th scale safe, she had to build it from a kit.
> "I've never seen that before.." Skippy suddenly said.
> "No, nobody except me has..." Slappy replied without looking.
TOM: Also except for Acme Safe Installers.
> She put the key carefully into the lock and turned it to the left.
> The safe slowly opened with a hiss of air.
CROW: Inflatable safes. Much cheaper than the real ones.
> "I found this the same time I found you Skippy."
JOEL: Before that you were Hoppy and occasionally Jumpy.
> Slappy said removing
> a small wicker basket from the safe. Inside there was a small tartan
> blanket a picture of Skippy as a baby (Really Cute!!)
TOM: As opposed to the hideous monster Skippy grew up to be.
> and a small letter;
CROW: It's just a 'J' printed two Angstroms high.
> Slappy unfolded the letter, "It's been almost 8 years since I last looked
> at this..
TOM: And since I found Skippy four years ago...
> /-------------------------------------\
> | Slappy, I know that you are busy and|
> |have a carreer but I am completly mad|
> |and unable to take care of Skippy now|
JOEL: Percy Crosby's heirs are not doing credit to his estate.
> |I know that you will make a good and |
> |loving mother, more then I could so |
> |take care of my little one and keep |
> |him from the shadows... R|
CROW: R?
TOM: R.
CROW: Ar! Skippy learns of his pirate heritage!
> \-------------------------------------/"
> She finished reading the letter, "I never knew who sent this, or who your
> mom was." Slappy finished.
JOEL: Course, I never did check the return address. Hey, think that'd
be a clue?
> "R? Rita!" Skippy excalimed
CROW: Isn't that an Italian squid dish?
> brushing against rita.
> Rita backed off and shook her head.
> "I'm afraid not kid, I could not write that letter..." Rita said sadly.
TOM: I swore off R's after their despicable actions in the Great Vowel
Rebellion.
> "Why not?" Skippy asked.
> Rita suddenly extened a claw and cut the letter.
CROW: Here, kid, let me shred the last elements of your identity.
> "Becuase I can't write..." Rita admitted proudly.
> "Then what does R stand for?" Skippy asked sadly.
JOEL: Skippy's real mother is Roy Hobbs!
> "I think I know who might know...." Runt interjected.
TOM: [ As Runt ] "But I am the dumbest character on the show, so you may
want to double-check."
>
> Chapter 6 - The Nevada desert
> -----------------------------
> "R?" Abu asked, "Hmmm, Well It's worth a try."
TOM: All right. Putting aside that Abu is a character from another show,
from another company, from another hemisphere, from another
millennium... uh... I'm lost; what else is there to put aside?
CROW: That he speaks as intelligibly as Donald Duck the day after he got a
dental retainer?
> Abu typed in some characters on the keyboard.
JOEL: Daniel Striped Tiger... Falstaff... and Beldar Conehead. Let's see
what comes up.
> "Right I'm searching for anyone called R who had a baby 8 years ago."
> The computer screen came up with the familer egg timer....
CROW: Search entry found. Deleting data. Have a nice day.
> Several hours later the computer beeped loudly.
> Abu looked around in a daze, "Oh.." He said.
TOM: "I should've turned the computer on first, right?"
> Abu typed some more things in and the computer spoke in a mechanical
> voice.
> "Report: Found three matches. Rags Dog, Romana Squirrel and Roz Cat."
> "Okay I think we can rule out Rags to start with..." Abu said ironcily.
JOEL: Separated from his loyal pal Crusader Rabbit and mistaken for a
dog, poor Rags the Tiger finds himself unable to even get screen
time in an Animaniacs fanfic.
> "What about the other two?" Slappy asked.
CROW: We can rule them out too. What now?
> "Let's split up, You and Runt can go after Roz. Rita, Skippy and I will
> go for Romana."
TOM: Shaggy and Scooby can check down by the old saw mill.
>
> Runt and Slappy arrived after an overnight ride on the bus in the middle
> of nowhere, the Nevada desert.
CROW: Oh, this is the one where Slappy and Lucy and Ethel think they
found a Uranium mine, and Fred and Ricky try to cheat them out
of the claim.
> "This is pleasant." Runt said yawning widely.
> "Hmmm, it could do with some re-decorating..." Slappy quipped.
JOEL: Meanwhile, a horribly confused Ignatz Mouse throws a brick at
Skippy.
> "So where is this Romana?" Runt asked.
> "How am I meant to know?" Slappy asked.
> "You still got that letter?" Runt suddenly asked.
> Slappy pulled out half of the letter and showed it to Runt.
TOM: "It's either an A, an F, an R, or a P. I don't know which.
> Runt took a
> deep sniff of the letter and then smelt the air around.
> "This way..." He said excitedly.
CROW: Look! There's a sign that says "This way to Skippy's Real Mom!"
> Runt lead Slappy to a small hole in the
> ground.
> "THIS IS IT?!" Slappy shouted.
TOM: No, the hole we want is inside this one.
> "Smell's like it..." Runt replied.
> "Okay then, you're the one with the nose...." Slappy pointed out.
JOEL: Since Dervish and Nemi are nowhere around.
CROW: Huh?
> A female squirrel poked her head up from the hole.
TOM: Eew! The hole's got girl cooties now!
> "YELLO!" It screeched.
CROW: Teal!
TOM: Aquamarine!
JOEL: Maroon!
> "Hello, do you know this boy?" Slappy asked showing the squirrel the
> picture of baby Skippy.
> "ME no, I no nothing of cream cheese!" The squirrel replied not looking
> at the picture.
TOM: Not wacky non sequiturs, but an incredible simulation.
> "Are you sure?" Runt asked.
> "Why of course Mr Strawberry top..."
CROW: She's not mad so much as she is annoying.
> The squirrel started, then it saw
> the picture and calmed down. "Skippy?" She asked very quietly.
> "Yes, Skippy!" Slappy said happily.
JOEL: No, we mean Skippy.
> The squirrel took the picture of skippy and held it close to her.
CROW: "I *loved* Animaniacs back when it was on real TV stations!"
JOEL: "Hey, we're on Cartoon Network these days!"
CROW: "So is The Funky Phantom."
> "Are you Romana?" Runt asked.
> "Why yes I am." The squirrel replied.
TOM: "I'll be your court-appointed attorney. Have you ever been in
traffic court before?"
> "Romana, your Son needs you..." Slappy said gently.
JOEL: Before he permanently becomes a member of the most media-saturated
species on earth.
> "Slappy! I knew I recognised you! Is Skippy all right?" Romana asked.
> "You'll have to come with us to see if he is okay..." Runt said slyly
CROW: Now, I would believe in Elvis Presley coming back to life *just*
to pick other people's eye boogers on Letterman's show before
I'd believe in Runt speaking slyly.
> to
> both Romana but mostly to Slappy.
> Slappy imediatly so that the dog had a plan
TOM: [ As Slappy ] If I collect enough bendy straws, nobody will care
who Skippy's real mom is!
> and followed his lead.
> "Yesss.. Skippy really needs to see you." Slappy followed.
> "Well come on, what are we waiting for? Let's go see my son!"
JOEL: After eight years of complete neglect.
> Romana
> yellped.
>
> Epilogue
> --------
> Runt and Slappy arrived back with Romana to find everyone else asleep.
CROW: I think that's a typing school exercise.
> "This way.." Slappy said quietly, tiptoeing past Abu sleeping on the
> couch and into the spare room.
TOM: Which is where they keep all their tires.
> Skippy was snuggled next to Rita in a large padded basket.
> "Skippy..." Romana whispered.
> Skippy stirred in the basket,
JOEL: Added flour, sugar, and cinnamon; baked for 25 minutes. Served six.
> he groaned gently and opened his eyes.
> He stared up at the strange squirrel.
> "Skippy!" Romana shouted running towards Skippy (in slow motion natch!)
CROW: Well, dur.
> "MOM!!" Skippy shouted in return then he also started to run towards
> Romana.
> On the way there Skippy was engulfed in a bright flash of light,
TOM: You know, this was always my favorite scene in 'His Girl Friday.'
> when
> the light cleared he was a squirrel yet again.
> Romana and Skippy met in the middle
ALL: Bonk!
> and gave each other a huge hug.
> "So why you been a cat?!" Romana asked.
JOEL: Why aren't you a binturong, like God and Tex Avery intended?
> "That was the hospitals fault, they said my INK was that of a cat...."
> Skippy cried angrily.
TOM: [ Authoritative Voice ] If Skippy had gone straight to the police,
this would never have happened.
> Slappy looked slightly evily at the mention of the hospital...
>
> The next morning the hospital which had given Skippy the INK test had
> mysterousily blown up into several thousand peices,
JOEL: Oh, great, now Marrissa Picard will be in charge of Starfleet
*forever*.
> fortunatly there was
> a big warning and nobody was hurt (well nobody that wasn't already
> hurt..)
CROW: And that makes it all O.K.
> "Hi I'm Mary Hartless
TOM: I wonder if she was named by the same committee that came up
with "Bunnie Rabbot."
> and you join me live at the 5th Burbank toon
> hospital where last night a huge bomb went off,
JOEL: People got big for blocks in every direction.
> police said they have no
> leads..."
CROW: But they're making do with the non-repro markers and light inking.
> Slappy smiled coyly at this news.
> "I guess we'll be leaving then.." Rita said.
> "Yeah, we're defenitly out of here!" Runt quipped.
JOEL: They have to go do...
> "Hey Aunt Slappy..." Skippy started, it was the first time in quite a
> while that Skippy had called her that.
TOM: Did you know you can't fold an acorn?
> "Can Rita and Runt come back and visit?" Skippy finished.
> "Well that would only be fair..." Slappy replied.
CROW: Considering how they were inconvenienced by being given a home
and family for a month, and now are being thrown out on the
street the instant their usefulness is questionable.
> "Thanks Slappy... Thanks for everything..." Rita said.
> "I should be the one thanking you,
TOM: What with the way you tore all the labels off our canned goods
and all.
> but before you go tell me; would he
> have made a good cat?"
> Rita glanced at Skippy, "Nah,
CROW: I was just stringing along his hopes to crush them later.
> he did not have the claws for it..." She
> joked. Skippy hearing this tried to pounce on Rita but she moved out of
> the way.
> "See what I mean..." Rita concluded.
> Rita and Runt left waving bye to Skippy, Slappy and Romana
JOEL: Romana mana fo fana...
> as they went.
> "And what of you Romana?" Slappy asked.
TOM: You know...
CROW: Don't.
TOM: *Romana* ... wasn't bilked in a day!
CROW: Thank you so much.
> "Well I think I'll try again in showbiz.." she said jokingly. "And then
> who knows..."
JOEL: Maybe they'll throw me into "Pinky and the Brain" too.
> "You would always be welcome here..." Slappy offered.
CROW: You know, where your *child* is?
>
> Postlogue
TOM: I want to make a Captain's Log joke, but we've used them all
up, haven't we?
JOEL: Yeah, they're all gone.
CROW: Sorry, Tom.
> ---------
> The battered reamins of the hospital where still smoldering gently well
> into the evening.
> A strange looking doctor
JOEL: Identity withheld to protect Charles "Runt-Abu" Brown's sources.
> came along and picked up a test tube that had
> been remarkably unsmashed in the exsplosion.
CROW: However, it was covered with pasghetti.
> The doctor picked it up and
> read the label: "Sample 01| Skippy| Feline| Male." He looked at the tube
> and noticed that something was wrong with the label,
TOM: Heeeey! This is *diet* test tube!
> there was another
> label stuck on top of it. The doctor carfully peeled it back
CROW: Aw, there's a wacky Dilbert comic strip on the back!
> but it
> ripped halfway so that only the last bit of it was readable...
JOEL: [ Reading ] "Far, far better rest I go to, than I have ever known"?
> " ...line, Male."
TOM: Well? Line? Anyone?
CROW: They need improv classes.
> He held the INK sample
JOEL: I hope he doesn't turn into the guy from "Cool World."
> up to the light and could just make out the rest of
> it.
> "Sample 03| Rita | Feline| Female."
TOM: Hey, I bet she's got INK like a cat's.
>
> The End...
ALL: Or *IS* it?
> ========================================================================
> ==========================
> |Plot|
TOM: OK, I'm going to secretly build a pneumatic tube system under
Manhattan to demonstrate the viability of a subway system there.
> \====/
> This is what I started out with,
CROW: Fifteen Lego blocks, two packages of bubble wrap, seven basketballs,
an olive, and three feet of packing tape.
> as you can see it sort of deviated
> from the plot..
JOEL: Yeah, the story never did wrap up the packing tape thread!
>
> (F.Y.I Sqips -> Skippy ala #watertower.)
TOM: The wet duck never flies after midnight.
>
> 1. Skippy and Slappy, Sqips asks about his Mom as he can't remeber (if
> only all stories where this simple...) Slappy can't remeber either...
> 2. Hall of records, Skippy must have been born
CROW: Unless he's from the future and came back in time.
> so Sqips and Slappy make
> there way to the HOR to find out about Sqips past,
TOM: They discover it was pumpkin-flavored.
> only imediate
> family are allowed to view records so Sqips is the only one to see
> the record.
CROW: Because letting his legal guardian see it first would be goofy.
> 3. Pointless Cameo,
JOEL: Hey, Whit Bissell works hard. He deserves to be seen.
> yes there has to be at least one gratitus and
> pointless cameo in this case it's Chicken Boo in the Hall of records.
> 4. Little orphen Skippy. Dark chapter this, Sqips has no record, on any
> database.
TOM: He *is* from the future!
> 5. Echos, Sqips now rather scared goes for a DNA test
JOEL: DNA, 'cause that's like DN... hey!
> at the local
> hospital being the ever efficent service it will take at least 2
> weeks to come back.
CROW: They should tie it to a cat, so it comes back the next day.
> 6. DNA, so who is Sqips? Well he is called Skippy however his DNA does
> not appear to be that of a squirrel,
TOM: Well, yeah, you can see how you have to be a cat, with a name
like Skippy.
> strangly it is more like a cat...
> (See A! opening sequence in the U.K. for details of this bizzare plot
> turn.)
> 7. Kindred spirits. Rita (Sans runt, he's off recovering from saving the
> world)
JOEL: From... elves... or something.
> is brought in to teach Sqips about being a cat. This is where
> things get strange.
CROW: It turns out Rita is actually 'Slim Pig.'
> 8. I am not a cat!
JOEL: I am a free number!
> Sqips screams at one point, however his DNA and now
> his apperance is not agreeing with this.
> 9. Skippy's mom, Ahh, wondering when we would get to this,
TOM: Turns out to be Jayne Barbera in a *highly* embarassing incident.
> Whilst Sqips
> has been learing with Rita. Slappy has been off scouring the desert
> of Navada looking for Skippy's REAL mom, she finds; wait fot it:
JOEL: Gabby, the Town Crier.
> A
> squirrel by the name of Susan who could be Skippy's mom.....
CROW: Or could just be his dietician. Who knows?
> 10.Unfortunatly Susan is slightly mad, no she's very mad
TOM: Slappy woke her up out of a really cool flashback!
> (Imagine One
> flew over the cuckoo clock with Susan in it...)
JOEL: Okay, now imagine "House of Wax" with Hippety Hopper in it.
TOM: Right. Now imagine "Metropolis" with Betty Boop in it.
CROW: When you're done with that, imagine "Tron" with Popeye and
Olive Oyl in it.
> However Slappy drags
> her back to her treehouse where....
> 11.Skippy the cat is now quite happily living with Rita
CROW: And her cousin Oedipus.
> (and Runt who is
> now also back...)
> Skippy's mom recognises Skippy (How he know looks like a cat for
> crying out loud!) and even more bizzarly Skippy recognises her. When
> he does hesuddenly flashes with light and becomes
CROW: Rodimus Prime!
> Skippy Squirrel...
> 12.Slappy blows up the hosiptal with Susan Rita's
JOEL: Meter maid's!
> and Skippy's help
> _AFTER_ finding they got the wrong DNA results.
> Now if only they had
> tripled checked....
TOM: They would have discovered the hospital was actually a trout farm.
> (For very observent viewers they may just notice that the bottle says
> <Sample 001 | Feline | Male | Runt > on it....)
CROW: But this ending was omitted for clarity.
> ========================================================================
> ======
> Dedication
JOEL: Perseverance, faith, hope, and love.
> ==========
> As well as the dedication at the start I would also like to dedicate this
CROW: To landing a cartoon--
JOEL: [ Holding CROW's shoulder ] You're too late.
> to the following people for trying to keep me sane over the past week:-
> MasemJMouse | Keeper | Colin | Plucky | LeloniBunny | DEViaNT |
> Wakkymouse | Wakko | Skippy | ALL (else) at #watertower and ALL at a.t.a.
JOEL: And all the ships at sea! Flash!
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ------
> Unexplainable Plot Descrepencies:-
>
> Okay Chicken Boo morphed into Hello Nurse,
TOM: Now, *there's* a disguise.
> it does work better with her
> rather then chicken boo.
> Abu (Yes the monkey from Aladdin and map designer from D.N.R.) snuck
> in too this script.
CROW: And if he's ever caught, he'll be in a world of trouble.
> Animals can become alert in an instant,
JOEL: But only if you use the can opener.
> so why are Runt and Skippy
> tired at some points in the story?
TOM: Because they have to walk 700 miles without a break?
> Journey to Nevada desert - 'kay I don't know where Burbank is and it's
> geographical closeness to Nevada is a total mystery to me!
CROW: And consulting an atlas would demand minutes of research.
> Susan -> Romana
> DNA is now called INK to reflect the fact they are toons.
JOEL: Ooooh.
CROW: Ah. You get it now?
TOM: Yes! Now I see the INK joke.
> The computer, don't say anything,
CROW: You'll just embarass your mother.
> it's not that far away from what
> computers can do.
JOEL: 'Cause making up wacky stuff would hurt the realism.
> The plot ends <CLOSED> e.g you know why the INK was such a close
> match for Rita and this story has no chance to be continued
TOM: Unless, say, Skippy's mom ever has something to *do* with her son
sometime in the future.
> (Unlike the
> big horrible daily perodi-stories.) Also I think it's a lot better
> to finish it with a proper explanation.
>
> And that's it more or less this story took a mere 15 hours to write
JOEL: That's still more than thirty times as long as "Armageddon" took
to write.
> and
> a massive 2 days of planning (but that was mostly 'cause I got lost on
> the way
TOM: Turns out *he* was wandering through the Nevada desert, looking for
Skippy's mom.
> and did not know what to write.)
> ==============================================================================
> | Skippy's Mom 1.1 | 507 Lines | P-S 6 | Ranking 8.6/10 | 9/6/97 21:52
> GMT-1 |
> ==============================================================================
JOEL: It's good that we were told the exact minute when this story was
finished. Otherwise we might miss our orbital window.
> /------------------\
> | |Next Week| |
> | \---------/ |
> | What will it be? |
TOM: Who will I kill?
> Whilst you are waiting for next weeks fanfic you
> |------------------| can try and slove this quaint little puzzle
CROW: What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon,
and... wait.
> |saediynafoledatic | that actually tells you what next weeks fanfic
> |ehtdnarenrawokkay | maybe... Good luck as it's probably full of
> |ebdluoctirodraugeht\ speeling mistaks!
JOEL: Spelling mistakes? Go on, tell us another one.
> |hplarhtiwydorap \
> |lanmonehpalacimonortas\
> |ebyamtiwollofotessohci \
CROW: I never got into 'Scattergories.'
> |yrotshcihwnognidnepedtnur \
> |dnaatireruteafottontsrifeht \
> |ebyamcifnafskeewtxenroF<--- |
TOM: Why is he sending us the Nieman-Marcus cookie recipe?
> \-----------------------------/
>
> --------------29934A6D602B--
JOEL: And that's a story.
[ ALL exit ]
[ 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. ]
[ SOL. TOM, JOEL and CROW are standing behind the desk. ]
TOM: Well, that story raised issues.
CROW: Oh, yeah. Uh... like...
JOEL: Like, who Skippy's mother is.
CROW: Right, right. Fortunately it gave us that neat answer.
TOM: Ah, you poor, trusting soul. Do you think we met the *real*
mother of Skippy in that piece?
CROW: Are you suggesting a coverup?
TOM: I most certainly am! For you see, recently I have come into
posession of certain documents -- the source of which must
remain anonymous -- that tell me a top-secret research program
lead to the creation of Project Skippy.
JOEL: I think we all know where this is going, Tom.
TOM: JOEL! You're going to ruin the dramatic tension!
JOEL: Unless you tie it into where the Milde family in "Robotman" went,
it's just not going to snag us.
TOM: But you've gotta! If you don't... aw...
[ TOM ducks off camera, stage right. ]
JOEL: [ Walking in from stage right. ] I hate to ruin his fun, but...
CROW: I know. You have to be firm.
JOEL: [ Patting CROW ] Let's go have an ice cream soda.
CROW: Yay!
[ They walk off to stage left. ]
TOM: [ Coming in from stage right, wearing Rocky the Flying Squirrel
aviator goggles and a squirrel tail stuck around his back. ]
And lo! I am Skippy's real mom, and I have come to... guys?
Hello?
[ TOM looks under the desk, and back up again. ]
TOM: Now I just feel self-conscious.
[ MADS SIGN flashes ]
TOM: Ooh... uh, Major *Tom* to ground control. [ TOM snickers ]
For the record, the shirt I wear is -- [ abrupt cutoff ]
[ DEEP 13. FRANK is on the ground, writhing. DR. FORRESTER is waiting
impatiently for him. ]
[ FRANK wriggles, kicking his feet up and down again, rolling side to
side, making hissing sounds, twitching, et cetera. It continues
for several beats, maybe too long. ]
DR.F: Would you just get *on* with it already? We *do* have other
things to do today.
FRANK: Hold your horses, I got one left!
DR.F: All right, but make it snappy.
[ FRANK pushes himself up as far as he can while lying on his back, takes
a loud, deep breath, groans at the top of this arc for several
beats. Finally DR. FORRESTER puts his foot on FRANK's chest. ]
FRANK: Huh?
DR.F: Just push the button on the way down.
[ DR. FORRESTER slams FRANK to the ground, as FRANK exhales. ]
\ | /
\ | /
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----o----
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and Copyright Best Brains, inc. Skippy, Slappy, Rita,
Runt, Hello Nurse, and the Animaniacs characters are trademarks of and
Copyright Time-Warner. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for
entertainment and satiric purposes only; no infringement on the original
copyrights and trademarks is intended or should be inferred. "Skippy's
Mom" is copyright Charles Brown and is used with permission. This work
is copyright Joseph Nebus. The B-O-T sketch was developed from an idea
by Matthew Miller, who pointed the fanfic out to me and also contributed
several jokes. If you determine that you or a loved one is a squirrel,
run up a tree really fast.
> "A hospital could do a INK test on you Skippy." Hello Nurse offered,
-- 30 --
Super Saiyan
parentage was never in question: Several episodes of the show made it
chear that Skippy LIVES with his parents, and just visits Slappy
frequently. Go fig.
Dan
Joseph Nebus
>Funny stuff!
Whoo! Thanks very much. I never get feedback on these.
Is that so? I never saw that ... when Animaniacs was new, I
had classes that made it pretty much impossible to catch it more than
infrequently. Later, it was on at oddball times that still kept me
from seeing it, although I've seen a good number of episodes (though
not the Bambi parody, for which a friend continues to harangue me).
Finally, of course, Animaniacs was put on Cartoon Network,
when I could see it regularly, but since it was Cartoon Network they
could only show the same four episodes over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over again. If I ever see that "When Rita Met Runt" thing
again I'm going to go to a Warner Brothers Studio Store and carefully
disassemble their giant Lego Scooby-Doo.
Now that Cartoon Network has hidden its four episodes of
Animaniacs again, seeing new episodes is no longer much of a problem.
Joseph Nebus
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super Saiyan
>dh...@nospam.mindspring.com (Super Saiyan) writes:
>
>>Funny stuff!
>
> Whoo! Thanks very much. I never get feedback on these.
Glat to help. I thourougly enjoyed it. I look forward to more!
>
>>You might also be interested to know that Skippy's
>>parentage was never in question: Several episodes of the show made it
>>chear that Skippy LIVES with his parents, and just visits Slappy
>>frequently. Go fig.
>
> Is that so? I never saw that ... when Animaniacs was new, I
>had classes that made it pretty much impossible to catch it more than
>infrequently. Later, it was on at oddball times that still kept me
>from seeing it, although I've seen a good number of episodes (though
>not the Bambi parody, for which a friend continues to harangue me).
THAT was classic. Try to imagine Bambi's mom old, wearing a shawl,
and acting like "Flo" from Alice.
>
> Finally, of course, Animaniacs was put on Cartoon Network,
>when I could see it regularly, but since it was Cartoon Network they
>could only show the same four episodes over and over and over and over
>and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
>and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
>and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
>and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
>and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
>and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
>and over and over again. If I ever see that "When Rita Met Runt" thing
>again I'm going to go to a Warner Brothers Studio Store and carefully
>disassemble their giant Lego Scooby-Doo.
>
> Now that Cartoon Network has hidden its four episodes of
>Animaniacs again, seeing new episodes is no longer much of a problem.
>
> Joseph Nebus
>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
What were WB thinking when they added the marginally entertaining R&R
and the AWFUL, repetitive, and unoriginal "Buttons and Mindy" to that
otherwise good show? <sigh>
Dan