[MiSTing] "Total Turbulence" (2/2)
Tjats
All Sonic the Hedgehog characters and situations are trademarks of Archie
Comics, DIC, and/or SEGA.
--------------------
[Jim carries Servo in, Crow enters]
>Sonic & Tails
>"Total Turbulence"
JIM: The sequel to "Turbulence"!
CROW: You're trying too hard.
>Karl Bollers-writer
>Steven Butler-pencier
SERVO: He's their artist *and* servant!
>Jim Amish-Inker
CROW: Sure! And he's working for a highly industrial company?
JIM: Let's not taunt the nice men.
CROW: But we're being forced to read it!
JIM: Still...
>Frank Gagliardo-colorist
[all snicker]
>Jeff Powell-letterer
JIM: His engine can't get started.
SERVO: lettererererer...
>Justin Gabrie-editor
>
>Sonic's bi-plane, Winged Victory, flies across stormy seas
>and through rough clouds. The cloud in front of it looks
>suspiciously like the sorcerer Ixis Nagus.
SERVO[as Tails]: Hey, Sonic, is that Nagus or just a cloud?
CROW[as Sonic]: I don't know! Let's fly into it and see!
>Tails: I'm sure glad we're not chasing the evil Ixis Nagus
> around the planet by boat, Sonic! This ocean looks really
> rough if you ask me!
JIM[as Sonic]: Well, no one asked you, so shut yer hole!
>Sonic: Don't worry about the waves, Tails! In two seconds
> we might regret
SERVO: One...
> takin' my bi-plane!
SERVO: ...two...
>Tails: Why?
CROW: Duh.....
JIM: That kid's bright.
>Sonic: Check out those clouds
SERVO: ...three...
> up ahead! From the
SERVO: ...four...
JIM: You can stop now.
> nasty look of 'em,
CROW: I'd say Janet Jackson was behind this!
> our hands are gonna be full just flyin' these unfriendly
> skies! Make no mistake, l'il buddy!
JIM: We only have non-erasable pens!
> We're definately in for--TOTAL TURBULENCE!
SERVO: I just hate it when comic characters say the title when it pops up.
>Sonic looks down at the computer installed into the
>dashboard. It reads dots continuing in a straight line until
>they are scattered across the top of the screen.
>Sonic: This gadget my Uncle Chuck hooked up to the control
> pannel before we left Mobotropolis is supposed to
CROW: provide exposition.
> track Ixis...but the trail suddenly scatters for no reason!
SERVO: PROBABLY BECAUSE HE'S A CLOUD RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!!
JIM: I don't think they see that.
SERVO: We do!
>Tails: Holy haywire!
ALL: -snicker-
> What's the matter with it, Sonic?
>Sonic: Could be the bad weather causin' some kinda
> interference!
CROW[southern accent]: Don't ya know.
>Ikis, in cloud form, dodges the tiny plane.
>Nagus: Curse that hedgehog and his fledgling fox of a
> companion! They do not realize they have at last found me!
JIM[as Nagus]: Why they don't see me, I have no clue.
> I never suspected they'd fashion a device capable of
CROW: Toasting marshmallows.
> detecting the ionic residue left in the air by my sorcery
SERVO[singing]: By, my, my, my, sorcery...
> Bah! No matter! My magical transformation into a cloud-
> being has confused their feeble instruments long enough for
> me to
JIM: Rain?
CROW: disipate into nothingness?
SERVO: do--THIS!?
JIM: Servo, I don't think that was what he is going to say.
> do--THIS!
JIM: Huh.
SERVO: Hah!
>Nagus bats Winged Victory off course with a whump.
CROW: Whump?
JIM: I'm gonna whump your ass!
>The plane veers out of control and begins a nose dive into
>the water below.
>Sonic and Tails: AAAAHHHH!!
SERVO: Should they be sighing at a time like this?
>Sonic: Cool it, Sonic! Time to--get a--
CROW: better impression of William Shatner!
> grip--or we're both toast!
>Sonic desperately pulls back on the control stick.
>Winged Victory brings her nose up and skims the surface of
>the water before pulling back up into the clouds.
JIM[as Tails]: That was fun! Let's do it again!
>She heads back up into Nagus's face.
>Nagus: What? It's that hedgehog!
SERVO: No, sir, that's a plane.
> He still lives! Gulp!
>Winged Victory easily plows through Ixis's cloud face and
>into open sky.
CROW: That's what you get for turning yourself into a cloud-being!
SERVO: Say, if he really was a cloud, how could he keep his shape, and how did
he knock the
plane away?
JIM: Hmm...
>Tails: You did it, Sonic!
>Sonic: I guess I did, Tails...
>Tails: ...and look--with those clouds cleared up, I can
> see land!
>Sonic: And Tails?
>Tails: Yeah, Sonic?
SERVOas Sonic]: I just like saying "Tails".
>Sonic: Who knows what kind of adventures are in store for
> us there?
CROW: Stupid ones?
>To be contunued next month...
SERVO: That one was a breeze!
[They all leave the theater]
1...2...3...4...5...6...
[SOL int.] Jim is reading Sonic #63. Sonic #62 is on the counter. Crow
enters.
CROW: Hey, Jim, whatcha doin'?
JIM: I'm just checking what today's story continued into.
CROW: Well?
JIM: At least we don't have to read any more of it! It's a really wacked-out
two-parter called
"Icon".
CROW: And what's it about?
JIM: Well, these Freedom Fighters take in Sonic and Tails and keep them locked
up and Sonic wants to stay forever.
CROW: Does he?
JIM: Uh, no. He escapes and destroys the force feild so they can leave the
city and Robians attack them.
CROW[a little confused]: Oh, okay.
[Servo comes in holding Sonic #50]
SERVO: Hey, Jim, I read that four-parter you akled me too, and whew! It was
weird!
JIM[paying more attention to the comic in his hands]: Glad you liked it,
Servo.
SERVO: That's not what I meant.
-mads sign-
CROW: Uh, Jim, Pearl's calling.
JIM[engrossed in the comic]: mm.
SERVO: JIM!
JIM: Huh? Oh.
[Jim pushes Mads Signal-Thingy(TM)]
[Castle Forrester] Pearl is standing next to the fully-assembeld machine.
It's as large as the room,
and looks like an overgrown coffee grinder.
PEARL: At last, I've done it! Hahahahaha! I have invented the machine that
will aid me
in conquering the world!
[She pushes a few buttons on the control panel. The machine prints out a
receipt-like message.]
PEARL[during printing]: This machine will tally up the number of people I need
to control in order
to dominate Earth!
[the machine spits the paper out with a ding. Pearl grabs it]
PEARL[reading]: What?!? Twenty-seven million people?!? Oh, well. Better get
started. Guess I
don't need this thing anymore. Brain Guy! I'm done with it!
OBSERVER[from off-screen]: Well, then put it in the closet or something! I'm
not going to take care of everything
for you!
PEARL: But, you can just warp it out of existence!
OBSERVER[os]: Oh, all right...
[That sound. Machine pops out of the castle.]
PEARL: Thank you!
OBSERVER[os]: You're welcome! Now let me finish my game of tri-dimensional
chess with Bobo! [to Bobo] Now, you
have to take my king and...what the hack are you doing? You can't make that
move! It hopps three of my pawns!
BOBO[os]: Well, sorry!
PEARL: Anyway, Jim, I want to say that I've got some big things in store for
you! BIG! BIGER! BIGEST! Hahahahaha!
[fade]
PEARL: Hey! I'm not done yet!
[love theme]
written by: Jim Whaley
"Total Turbulence" written by: Karl Bollers
"What Would Sonic Look Like in Everyday Commercials": The name of this writer
has been lost. If
you know who the origonal aouthor is, please contact me at the screen name
below so proper credit can be
given.
featuring:
Jim Whaley: James A. Whaley
Crow: Bill Corbett
Tom Servo: Kevin Murphy
Gypsy: Patrick Brantseg
Magic Voice: Beez McKeever
also featuring:
Pearl Forrester: Mary Jo Phel
Observer: Bill Corbett
Professor Bobo: Kevin Murphy
All MST3K characters and situations are trademarks of Best Brains, Inc.
All Sonic the Hedgehog characters and related material are trademarks of
Archie, DIC, and/or SEGA.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only;
no infringement on the original
copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be
inferred.
Sonic comic material used was not granted a go-ahead by Archie Comics. They
weren't able to be reached.
MST3K created by: Joel Hodgson
special thanks to:
Best Brains, Inc.
Archie Comic Publications, Inc.
All you people who love to laugh
e-mail tj...@aol.com for comments, etc.
c1998 by Jim Whaley
[stinger]
>Tails: Holy haywire!
This has been a Mystery Usenet Theater 3000 production