[MSTing] CyberPage Agency Services & The Prayer List
Kris
*This is my second MSTing (my first was B'Elanna's Leap,
which is misattributed to Kathy Matlock in the MSTing
Archive. Comments are welcome, send to
new...@northcoast.com.*
[Opening Sequence]
[SOL, Mike and Crow are standing around the SOL bridge looking
bored]
MIKE: Do you know where Tom wants?
CROW: No, he just told me to tell you to wait here. He said
something about a surprise, but I could barely hear him, he had
a sheet over his head.
TOM: <walks into the room covered by a sheet>
MIKE: Hey Tom, what's the surprise?
TOM: <Muffled sounds from beneath the sheet>
CROW: Can't hear you, Tom.
TOM: <Still muffled, but distiguishable> I said pull the sheet
off me and I'll show you.
[Mike pulls the sheet off of Tom, revealing that his dome is
full of gumballs]
TOM: Ta da! I figured, I've got gumballs, my head's a gumball
machine-- What the heck! I'll put some gumballs in there!
MIKE: That's a very good idea, Tom!
CROW: Can I have one?
TOM: Yeah, just hit that switch on my back.
MIKE: <Reaches around Tom and pushes a button on his back.>
TOM: <Disgusting loogie noises> Okay, hold on... <prolonged
snort> Just a minute... <short, loud snort> Okay, here!
[A gumball flies out of Tom's beak at Crow.]
TOM: Heh heh, sorry, I'm still working out--
[Another gumball flies at Mike]
TOM: Oh, sorry there Mike--
[Gumballs start flying uncontrollably out of Tom's mouth]
MIKE: Hit the floor!
[Mike and Tom dive for the floor. Mike reaches a hand up and
pulls down Tom]
TOM: Hey, don't! Ouch! That tickles!
[Mads light goes off and Mike reaches up to hit it]
[D13]
Dr. F.: Hello, Taban, Gato, Robo. I've got a- Wait a minute,
where are you?
[SOL]
<Mike slowly stands up with a bandage over his eye.>
MIKE: I'm fine now. What did you want to say, sir?
[D13]
Dr. F.: I wanted to say, Nelson, that I've been much too busy
to prepare a movie or search Usenet for you this week. I've
discovered a video gae called Chrono Trigger, and I'm investigting
it's addictive qualities.
However, games aside, I;ve got a nice little horror cooked up for
you today, a veritable Web Page from Hell marathon! It's a web page
for CyberAgency Industry International or something like that,
followed by an advertisement for a chain letter with a new angle:
it's endorsed by God! Without further ado, here are the pages:
choke on 'em, Toma!
[SOL]
[Movie Sign goes off]
ALL: We've got Web Page sign!
6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
TOM: The black winds howl...
MIKE: I think Dr. F. is rubbing off on you, honey.
>CyberAdvertising Agency Services
TOM: CyberAdvertising Agency Services Company Place Thing
Incorporated, meeting your CyberAdvertising needs since 1986!
It's--<Tom gags as a gumball flies out at Crow>
CROW: Ouch!
MIKE: Was that the last one, Tom?
TOM: Yeah, I think so.
>
>This page has been seen 1935 times.
MIKE: By poor, unsuspecting newbies drawn into our web of lies.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
CROW: Between this dotted line and the next is a complete list of
the reasons to try CyberAdvertising!
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>A Business Opportunity for the Serious Sales Entrepreneur
MIKE: --Doesn't end it's name in "Agency Services", as a
rule.
>
>
>Who wants to make $100+ per sale
TOM: Do you want to make $100+ per sale?
ALL: Sure, we all do!
>
>
>This is not a Get Rich Quick Scheme!
CROW: Of course not, perish the thought!
MIKE: Maybe it's a Get Rich Slow Scheme.
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>The Remuneration
ALL: <singing> Remuneration! Your the doctor!
>
>There are 3 main pay streams.
MIKE: And they're all great fishin'!
> These are
>1.30% on all sales made through your own efforts.
TOM: And at your own risk.
>2.10% on all sales made by friends and associates whom you introduce.
CROW: To our lonely CEO.
>This continues down for 3 levels.
MIKE:<Adolescent voice> Then you've got to fight the Dark Wizard,
and he's tough if you don't have the magic bubbles....
>3.15% on all annual renewals forever.
ALL: <as Animaniacs> And ever and ever and ever and ever....
>
>These are the basic details. Bonuses and incidentals are separate.
CROW: But equal.
> The full plan
MIKE: --for world domination--
>is available on request.
>The Work Involved
CROW: Is all taken care of by children in our factories in Korea.
>
> CyberPages International has Advertising Web Space for sale .
>The agency is responsible for selling this Web Space.
TOM: If they ever want to see their families again.
> By joining the agency, you are given the right to market the
>CyberWebSpace.
MIKE: And the right to JamWordsTogetherToMakeThemLookCool.
TOM: How did you do that?
> Your essential tasks are as follows:
>Target your market segments -- Hotels, Importers, Translators...
CROW: And then fire upon them without mercy.
>Call and, on approval, send them Company literature which we initially
>supply.
MIKE: Mailbombs are available for those tough sales.
CROW: Woo-hoo! Mailbomb jokes are allowed!
MIKE: Only for mature adults, Crow.
CROW: This from Mike "I like Voltron" Nelson.
>Call again and endeavor to convince them to advertise using
>CyberPages.
TOM: Call again if they refuse. Call again if they refuse. Repeat
as necessary.
> Obtain their advertising material. Fax, E-mail or snail mail it to us.
CROW: Though our business is entirely legal, you should label the box
"Camera Parts".
>We will "CyberPage" it for them on The Net.
CROW: We will "CyberPage" the crap out of it!
> Review the draft on-line and get confirmation.
MIKE: The draft? I see now, this is just some overblown enlistment
drive!
>Get their Payment and send it to us.( Cheque or Credit Card )
TOM: You can get the payment by pretending to spill food on their clothes
and gently removing their wallet.
>Receive your commission by the 20th of the following month.
CROW: So it could conceivably be fifty days before you get your
commission?
MIKE: I think that's a fail-safe so if anybody actually makes any
money the company has time to go out of business.
>
>The Rationale
TOM: Where? I've been looking for it!
>
> Every business advertises. CyberPages offers companies and individuals
>the opportunity to advertise at very competitive rates.
MIKE: Competitive to what? Hiring guys to run around and paint on
people's computers?
> Look around the CyberPages Web site, check out the statistics and the
>growth represented by the number of new sites visiting us each day.
TOM: Is it just me, or is that a completely incorrect use of the word
"site"?
MIKE: You remember that post we got from the guy who asked what the
Internet is and talked about having a "modum" for his toaster?
TOM: Yeah, why?
MIKE: I think he wrote this page.
> Now you must decide whether:
CROW: To take the cash or trade it all for what's behind door number
three!
>1.You have the flair to sell advertising space in this media.
TOM: Or the stupidity to buy advertising space from us, in which case
you should give us a call right away!
>2.The site is one whose concept, design, growth and development you can
>sell and support.
TOM: "Site", the all purpose noun, ladies and gentlemen!
> 3.You have the mental commitment and perseverance to play the
>numbers game.
MIKE: Lotto?
CROW: MathQuest?
TOM: Strip Algebra?
<Mike and Crow look at Tom for a moment, then turn away.>
> The more calls you make, the more success you will achieve
>but the more potential rejection you will encounter!!!
TOM: But don't let little things like restraining orders get in your
way!
> Every successful close is worth more than $100 to you.
CROW: Let's see, at about one "close" per month, that adds up to
almost as much as a Serf's salary!
>If you loose heart easily, this is not where you should be spending all
>your working time. However, you can also do it part time or interest
>others who have the aforementioned aptitude that perhaps you do not have.
MIKE: In other words, if you don't really believe in our system, at
least rook your friends into joining.
>
>The Revenue Potential
CROW: This is going to be a short section.
>
>
>The Annual contract is $360.- Commission $108
TOM: Gratuity: $8.50
>The Quarterly contract is $150.- Commission $45
>Graphics per image/photo is $30.- Commission $9
CROW: Price to _not_ release certain photos: $300.
>
>These figures
MIKE: --And what shapely figures they are--
> do not include commissions that you can earn by
>introducing your friends and associates to the team.
> While they earn the 30% rate, you still get 10%, for 3 levels down.
>The price quoted above is for
TOM: Satisfying those pesky "Truth in advertising" people.
>a 250 words text CyberPage. If the client wants forms,
CROW: Tell him where he can stick his forms. You don't have to take
any lip from him!
>return e-mail addresses, etc., there is an incremental
>cost. These extras are added to your revenue total for commission
>calculation.
>Your Cost
MIKE: <as Webmaster> My personal favorite section!
>
>There is a one time non-refundable initiation fee of $50.-
CROW: Plus you have to swallow a goldfish and walk around in your
underwear on campus for a whole day.
>to join the Agency. There is also an annual renewal fee of $20.- to defray
>the cost of administration of the compensation plan and sales support
>activities.
TOM: Why do I get the feeling that that's a complicated way of saying
"people and stuff"?
> When we receive your initiation fee, you will be sent a Sales Support
>Pack, personalized with your name.
MIKE: Plus a cardboard membership card and Super-Secret Decoder Ring!
>Caution
MIKE: Smoking may be hazardous to your health.
CROW: Always wear safety goggles.
TOM: Objects in the mirror appear closer than they are.
>
> This form of work is not for everyone and is NOT a Get Rich Quick
>endeavor.
TOM: _Someone_'s in denial.
> So do not rush into it. Consult your friends, family and
>business associates as you contemplate your decision.
MIKE: But if they tell you to find real work, who needs them?
> Try to pre-sell the concept to them to get a feel for the potential
>market in your area.
CROW: If anyone breaks any of your limbs, the market probably isn't
ready for your innovative services.
> Although the market is huge, you will only succeed if you have a selling
>and marketing aptitude and an ability to persevere.
TOM: Through being broke months at a time.
>More Information
TOM: Oh please, for the love of God, no!
>
>Please send me more information About CyberAdvertising Agency Service
CROW: Look, even the author doesn't know what's going on!
MIKE: At least he's leveling with us.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Lastly, thank you for coming to this CyberPage and we wish you good luck
>in all of your worldly endeavors. Godspeed!
MIKE: And drive carefully out there!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>CyberPageNo: 236
TOM: Geeze, 235 idiots bought into this?
MIKE: No, I think the author tried this page 235 other times, but this is
the first one where he got the HTML right.
>CyberPageAdNo: 284
CROW: CyberNumberMeantToLookImpressive:3,036,935,814
>Quick Search key: http://www.cyberpages.com/db/~cyberad
TOM: It's called a URL, stupid!
MIKE: Relax, honey. It'll be okay.
TOM: Guys like this trying to sell Web service to small businesses really
frost my shorts, Mike.
>Location: Ottawa, Canada
ALL: Hosers!
>Classification: Business Opportunities
MIKE: Class: None.
>Category: Advertising services
>Click here to get details on the company/organization.
CROW: Make up your mind!
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Return to the category listing
MIKE: No.
>Return to the city listing
TOM: Nope.
>Return to the company/organization listing
CROW: Um, no.
>Edit ad
ALL: <huddle, then pause.> No.
>
>WWW Version 2.0.1
>Copyright (c) 1994,1995 by CyberPages International
>Send all bug reports, suggestions and comments to
>cyber...@cyberpages.com
TOM: Though our Cybermoron Cybermaster probably won't Cyberunderstand your
Cybermail since he DOESN'T KNOW CYBERSQUAT ABOUT
CYBERCOMPUTERS AND HE CAN PROBABLY BARELY
CYBEREAD!
MIKE: Tom, get a grip.
TOM: Cybermake me!
MIKE: It's over, honey. You can relax.
>THE PRAYER LIST
MIKE: <English acent> Oh Lord, bless this thine hand grenade...
>
>
>
>Hello, my name is John Austin.
ALL: Hi, John!
>
>What I am about to tell you is an AMAZING, True story.
TOM: Servo's Net rule #38: If they have to tell you it's a true story,
it's not.
>
>I am a God fearing born-again Christian, who lived in a small town in
>North Carolina.
CROW: I spent my youth in a small log cabin built by- No wait, that's
Abraham Lincoln.
> For years I went to a small church regularly. I paid my
>tithes and offering every week.
MIKE: This is unrelated to the story, but interesting none the less.
> I attended church service three to four
>times a week.
TOM: Usually four, but sometimes God's gotta cancel appointments.
MIKE: He's a busy Guy.
> I always believed that the Lord had a blessing for me and
>all those who believe in God; no matter what religion!
CROW: As long as they engage in the proper animal sacrifices, of
course.
> Out night I had a heavy burden on my heart....
MIKE: It turned out to be gas.
> The little church I had attended for so long needed a new building! We
>the Members of the church, and the community needed a financial miracle."
TOM: Hey, who lost a quotation mark? We found it over here!
>I remembered the Scripture - Malachi 3:10...." Bring the whole tithe
>into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.
CROW: Many historians have translated this to mean "That there may be
a new boat in John Austin's garage."
> "Test me in this" saith the Lord of Hosts, and see if I will not throw
>open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that you
>will not have room enough for it! (New International Version).
TOM: Here's the sentence with the missing quotation mark. We'll have
to do a transplant.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>I really didn't know how to (test God)!
MIKE: Or how to stop (speaking in parentheses)!
> Then I remember, for years I received mail about people who made money
>by giving money to people on a mailing list.
CROW: Strangely, all of them were named Dave Rhodes.
> 'By giving one to five dollars to be on their mailing list; and made
>literally fortunes by doing so.
MIKE: I think he saves the middle of that sentence for his paying
readers.
> It was legal, according to Title 18, Section 1302, U.S. Postal Service
>Regulations. SO I prayed and fasted for seven days, and seven nights...
TOM: And I never bragged about it to a soul. I'm so humble.
>and asked God to bless a list which I made. And in my Spirit the words
>"THE PRAYER LIST" came to mind.
MIKE: <as Church Lady> I wonder who's responsible for that? Could it
be... SATAN?!
> For a moment I Imagined thousands upon thousands,... and in time...
>millions upon millions of people
MIKE: <singing> Livin' for today...
>praying for people for people
CROW: Who say things twice twice...
>on a mailing list that they don't even know!!!
TOM: I don't know this mailing list! Who subscribed me?
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>And the way THE PRAYER LIST works is, You have five names
MIKE:--if you are schizophrenic--
>and addresses
MIKE: --if you are a fugitive--
>on the PRAYER LIST when you receive it. You send $7.00 (seven) Dollar
TOM: $7.00 Dollar? What's that mean?
MIKE: Maybe a seven dollar bill?
> in an envelope to the first name and address on the list. Then remove
>the first person off the PRAYER LIST.
CROW: Don't bother praying for him, because God doesn't need people
yakking to him about idiots who join mailing list scams.
> But be sure to write down that person's name and address on a separate
>piece of paper and save it...
MIKE: If you've got it when the police come, you might be able to
bargain.
>I'll tell you why in a minute. Then move the number two (#2) person's
TOM: Hey, it's the new PC name for those people who clean up crap at
zoos: Number two people.
>name into the number one (# l) position (or slot), And do the same with
>the remaining three names on the PRAYER LIST,
MIKE: Who's sacred name must always be shouted.
> Moving them up one position higher, each!
CROW: The exclamation mark somehow fails to add any excitement to this.
> until you have four names in all. than add your name to the bottom of
>the list, in the position number five (#5) and now you're all ready to
>go with your own PRAYER LIST.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Now for the seven days keep the five people of your original PRAYER LIST
TOM: In a cool, damp place.
>(four names plus the one you saved and wrote down) in PRAYER, For God to
>bless and change their
CROW: Underwear.
>lives. When Me and Members of my church gave THE PRAYER LIST out we
>started receiving envelopes with
MIKE: --hate mail inside almost every day!
>$7.00 dollars in cash and a new name to keep in PRAYER in the mail
>everyday Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!.
TOM: Somehow, I think God would rather not have his name on this whole
thing.
> I don't remember how many PRAYER LISTS the other six Members gave out,
>but I gave out seven PRAYER LISTS a week, at the beginning. After three
>weeks, I was receiving hundreds of envelopes every week.
CROW: As my reputation grew, fewer and fewer exploded on me!
> Then hundreds in days, almost everyday. Praise God! Praise God! Praise
>God!.
TOM: <as God> Stop that or I'll see you in court!
> In six weeks my life changed from that point on. I started in February,
>1996. Six Months after that I became a multi-millionaire.
MIKE: Of course, winning the Publisher's Clearinghouse prize couldn't
have hurt.
> "Praise God!". So if you were praying for a financial miracle to come,
>this is it! RIGHT DOWN FROM HEAVEN.
MIKE: Right up from Heck's more like it.
> Praise God It Works!!!. Just $7.00 and keeping the seven names, and all
>the new names in PRAYER. "I AM RICH TODAY!".
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>To tell you a little about what I did with some of the MONEY ...
TOM: Because we're so intensely interested....
> I gave a half million$$$ to my Church....
CROW: And gave no thought to revealing the gift to the public for
glory.
>Hundred of thousands of dollars to so many other Organizations.
MIKE: I didn't give 'em, but somebody did!
> I Bought a 750 Acre Ranch, Full of live stock and produce, along with
>some hired help. I vacation 3 Months a year, And can travel to all the
>church conventions...
TOM: Which are so important to me because I'm a God-fearing
Christian, as you should remember if you are thinking about reporting my
chain letter.
> Just to name a few of these things which have changed in my life. (oh
>yeah, I almost forgot..I travel to my church conventions in my new
>$125,000.00 RV).
MIKE: It doesn't seem like any of the good guys were ever that rich in the
Bible...
CROW: I'm thinking a goat with a pentagram cut into it's throat was
part of that RV's sticker price.
MIKE: Very posssible.
> I hope and PRAY (THE PRAYER LIST) find you well.
TOM: What the heck are those parentheses for?
MIKE: Maybe he's so rich that he could afford to drop out of fourth
grade English.
> This PRAYER LIST has helped thousands and thousands of people both
>spiritually, financially and also in health. I and also a host of others,
>have put God to the test with the PRAYER LIST.
CROW: Our contestant on "Test that Diety" today is the Big Guy Himself,
Mister God! Let's give Him a hand, folks!
> As Spoken in Malachi 3:10. I hope you put God to the test also. And
>turn your life around from this day forth!
>
>MAY GOD BLESS YOU, AND SMILE UPON YOU.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOM: I guess it's over...
>
>Here are a few other testimonies.....
TOM: Good God, man. where does it end?!
>
>Six months ago I received THE PRAYER LIST.
CROW: Like many others, I didn't think it could happen to me. So I'm
reminding you to use proper protection when-
MIKE: You were doing so well too, Crow.
> I'm not a Christian but I gave it a try. and in nine weeks I received
>over $25,000.00 dollars in $7 envelopes.
TOM: You'd eat up your fortune in trash bills for that many envelopes!
> I am now debt free in nine weeks! -John Kahn, Raleigh,
>N.C.
>
>I am a farmer-and I needed now farming equipment.
MIKE: Then this pile of genuine fertilizer came to me in the mail and
solved all my problems!
> And I prayed to God for a miracle. And a month afterward, I received
>THE PRAYER LIST. And I gave the list to some other farmers who was also
>not doing too well.
CROW: No feeling better than kicking a man with a chain letter when he's
down.
> After about 2 months we all bought new equipment. We received so much
>money, we didn't have to do farming if we didn't want to any more.
TOM: But we kept going anyway, 'cause we're dumber than the dirt we're
workin', hyuck!
>-Charles Johnson, Virginia
>
>I'm a Pastor of a church,
MIKE: As opposed to a pastor of what else, exactly... ?
> and a good friend of mine from another church told me how THE PRAYER
>LIST was working in their church.
CROW: Because of his advice, I avoided the prayer list and now I'm a
millionare!
> And we needed money for our building fund. So I prayed about using this
>prayer list, and we did. All I can say is "Praise God!" "Praise God!"
TOM: <as God> Now don't you start!
>, we now have a new one-half $ Million dollar building. And we went from
>using offering plates, to offering buckets! - Rev. Bill W. Fairchild Ada,
>Okla.
>
>Hello, my name is Gina.
MIKE: And I'm a prayeraholic.
> For years I suffered with migraine headaches. And Mary from THE PRAYER
>LIST read my prayer request, and wrote and told me what to take,
CROW: --downers, but you didn't hear that from me--
> and that she would continuously pray for me. Now I have no more
>migraine headaches, and I'm debt free. Thank God for Mary, and THE
>PRAYER LIST! -
>Gina C. New Jersey
>
>These are just a few of the testimonials which I received. I received
>thousands, and I am
MIKE: Going to share each and every one of them with you right now!
TOM: NOOOO!
>sorry that I am no longer able to respond to your testimonials. It's
>just too many to respond to. At last count THE PRAYER LIST is in 21
>states, and growing everyday. In Malachi 3:10 God said (test me in this).
>I did, along with many others,"Praise God!" "Praise God!",
>"Praise God!
TOM: <as God> That's it, you'll get a call from my lawyer.
MIKE: God's lawyer. That's a humbling thought.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>THE PRAYER LIST
CROW: Or "The Moron Parade"!
>
>
>
>1) Dennis Gray
TOM: Sure, Dennis has always got to be number one at everything!
>
>954 Surry Drive
>
>Bonita, CA, 91902
>
>
>
>2) Lillie E. Hordges
MIKE: I caught a nasty case of the hordges once.
>
>169 Tiffany lane
>
>Willingboro, N.J. 08046
>
>
>
>3) Jay J. Thomas
CROW: Dave Thomas' cousin from those Wendy's commercials!
>
>70 E. 115th St.
>
>New York, N.Y. 10029
>
>
>
>4) ALBERT CRUTCH
>
>41-29 Main St. Suite #193
>
>Flushing, N.Y. 11355
ALL: <make flushing noises>
>
>
>
>5) Patrick R. Kelly
CROW: Crow are hoping that Pat is the last guy on this list.
>
>1134 Linden Blvd
>
>Brooklyn N.Y. 11212-1650
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
TOM: It's over!
>Please follow the above instructions.
TOM: Why, God?!
> Do not alter or change anything.
TOM: Do you want me to change my ways? I'll do it!
> Many people are being blessed by using The Prayer List. Remember, the
>seed you sow you shall reap! The year of 1997 is the year of Jubilee!
TOM: I'm sorry for shooting gumballs at Mike and Crow!
>
>May God bless you with THE PRAYER LIST - J.A.
TOM: I'll never complain about non-functional arms again!
>
>Email us with your own Testimonies so we can post them to this website.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6 <We hear Servo say "Hallelujiah" as the door
sequence plays>
[SOL, Crow is standing alone on the bridge.]
MIKE: <walks by> Crow, have you seen Tom?
CROW: No, I don't know where he could-
<Crow is cut off by organ music>
MIKE: Where's that coming from?
TOM: <walks on screen wearing a priest robe and somehow carrying a Bible>
Hello, friends. I'm Tom Servo, and I'd like to share with you my personal
experience.
CROW: Cut it out Tom, you're-
MIKE: Tom has something to tell us, Crow, let's hear him out.
TOM:<a spotlight centers on Tom and the SOL goes dark> As I was saying,
friends, my personal experience began in the midst of one of this world's
trials, the Web page of that philistine, John Austin. I saw that God
wasn't concerned with money, but with going to him and his people
for protection. That's why I'd like you to become my brother in
Servology.
MIKE: Servology? What's that?
TOM: It's my new religion, Mike! All you do is give us $10.00 every
month and you'll be protected.
CROW: Protected?
TOM: Yeah, you've got a nice life, it'd be a shame if something
_happened_ to it, if you know what I mean.
MIKE: I'm not going to pay you for protection!
TOM: Okay, I'll just go and pray then. <walks off>
MIKE: That was-- <A cheap lighting effect goes off over Mike> AHHH!
CROW: I'm, uh, I'm going to go pay Tom, all right? <Crow runs off>
MIKE: <Grabs Crow by the arm> Give him mine too, okay? <Mike hands Crow
some money. Crow runs off stage right.>
[The mads light flashes. Mike hits it.]
MIKE: What do you think, sir?
[D13]
Dr. F.: I see I've driven you're little red friend to crime... You're
next, Nelson! You're next!
\ /
\ /
---*---
/ \
/ \
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are
trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved.
This MSTing is not intended as an attack on CyberAdvertising Agency
Services or John Austin, if that _is_ his real name.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks
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