[MiSTed] Lessons of History (3/4)
Matthew Miller
[ SoL ]
MIKE: Okay, guys, let's have a debate. Warner Brothers: Good or evil? You
first, Mr. Servo.
TOM: All right! We can see for ourselves that Warners owns Paramount Pictures,
and thus the All Trek...I mean, the UPN Network. Not only that, but they
have obviously decided that Tim Burton is too good a director for the
_Batman_ series! Not only that, they recently bought up Turner and Hanna-
Barbera. What more proof do you need that these guys are the scum of the
Earth?
MIKE: Mr. Robot?...er...Mr. Crow?
CROW: Proof? Ha! You have as much proof as you have eyes. They also own DC
comics and the first two Batman movies, so obviously there's *some* good in
them...
TOM: DC Comics? You mean the pathetic-shadow-of-its-former-self imprint that
tried to kill off Robin and mangled Superman into that blue and white ...
capeless ... thing?
CROW: No fair! The Robin they killed was just an impers--
MIKE: Mr. Crow! You'll have time for a rebuttal later.
CROW: Grrrrr.
TOM: Ahem. As I was say--
MIKE: Hold on--it was Mr. Crow's turn. Sorry. Proceed.
CROW: Heh heh. Anyway. The Robin you say they `killed off' was just an
impersonator. The *real* Robin, you'll recall, grew up and joined the Teen
Titans...or the X-Men...or something like that. Anyway, you really can't
argue with the company that made the Looney Tunes in the first place, huh?
TOM: Including _Animaniacs_, _Tiny Toons_, and _Tazmania_?
CROW: Well, that's a matter of taste.
TOM: So's getting a whack on the head.
CROW: A whack on the head? I'll show you a whack on the--
MIKE: Mr. Crow--
TOM: Why, you little--
[ Movie sign alarm! ]
ALL: --WE GOT MOVIE SIGN! AAAAAAAHH!!!
/...6...5...4...3...2...o
>
>From: E_Ho...@postoffice.utas.edu.au (Captain Cellulite)
>Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
>Subject: NEW ST:TNG/DS9-DC Superman Crossover (7/11) "Lessons of History"
>Date: 29 Jul 1996 01:11:34 GMT
>Organization: University of Tasmania
>Lines: 184
>Message-ID: <E_Hodges-2907961112490001@mg4_67.its.utas.edu.au>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: mg4_67.its.utas.edu.au
>
>Lessons of History
>(Star Trek TNG, DS9/DC-Superman Crossover) Part 7
>
[ Mike and bots come in and sit down ]
> Dr. Beverly Crusher looked at her patient, then at Jean-Luc. "He's
>alive, but he's not well. His cells are suffering from light and oxygen
>depravation. Thus the setup," She said motioning to the slap-dash setup of
>surgical lights surrounding the inert form of Clark Kent.
> "Will he recover?" Jean-Luc asked with concern.
> "Its hard to tell. He went through something the ship nearly didn't."
TOM: And that is...?
> "Do what you can, Doctor, He saved us from certain destruction."
CROW: And left us with an uncertain anticlimax instead. What a guy!
>
> "What's the verdict Geordi?" Will asked up to the chief engineer on the
>next level, working on the warp core.
> "Well, the ship was pretty lucky, some of the hull plates suffered heat
>damage, but the superstructure wasn't warped. Basically all she'll need is
>a few weeks damage control and she'll be alright."
> "And the core?"
TOM: You know, it's not a good idea to eat the seeds out of it.
CROW: Not apple cores...
> "It shut down almost as soon as it was damaged. It came out of it
>pretty well. It'll take a week to get online again though. Plus we've got
>other systems to repair. All in all, we're in for a busy few week," Geordi
>looked at the first officer. "Starfleet sending any help?"
MIKE: Nope, we still have yet to do all of the required prattling about the
Prime Directive.
> "The Farragaut has been sent to tow us to Deep Space Nine where we can
>make some repairs before we go to starbase 121 for more extensive
>repairs."
> Geordi looked at the inert warp core. "Just one more thing, some of the
>docking latches on the bridge module have been damaged, they probably
>won't stand above Warp 6. They'll either need to be replaced, or the whole
>bridge swapped out. Either way, we're looking at some bridge remodelling."
> "Right. I'll inform the Captain."
>
> "I'm okay," Clark stressed.
TOM: I'm okay, you're okay.
MIKE: Superman turns into Touchy-Feely Man.
> Dr. Crusher looked seriously at her patient. "You have just been
>through an extremely dangerous situation, and barely came out with you
>life. Your cells need time to recoup the energy you've lost. Your not
>entirely indestructible you know."
> Clark got up, creaking, "I can do that in my quarters though," He
>pointed out.
CROW: I just need to be off-screen for a couple scenes, honest.
> "No," she said. "Infact you can't. Your quarters along with a lot of
>others have no life support. Whole decks have no power at all. I'm telling
>you, sickbay is the best place for you," She said firmly, gently pushing
>him back on to the bed. She turned to the other people in her care. Clark
>noticed a lot of other people in sickbay with him. He saw the girl he had
>saved in the holodeck; Sitting on a bed, with her head in her hands, and a
>large cut on her forehead. She looked a bit groggy. Others were here to.
>Some with uniforms, others were children and what seemed to be their
>concerned parents. Clark remembered his parents, and their concern for
>him. Instead of pain, He felt a deep love for them. Without Ma and Pa, I
>probably wouldn't have ended up the way I did.
TOM: That's right--from Dr. Crusher's scolding, to the other people in the sick
bay, to Ma and Pa Kent, to what Superman's either saying or thinking, take
your pick. I'll have a Super-Sized paragraph, please...
> A small child walked up to him. She had brown straight hair and
>innocent eyes. "Are you the man that saved us?" She asked shyly.
> Clark smiled a warm smile as he looked down. "Yes. My name is
>Superman," He said, shaking her hand gently.
> "Thankyou," She said in a small, serious voice and ran off.
MIKE: We'll return to Insignificant Cute Children Theater.
>
>DEEP SPACE NINE
MIKE: Right after this word from Deep Space Nine.
CROW: Deep Space Nine, the Stuckey's in the sky. Now back to Lessons of
History.
>
> Station Log, Stardate 47268.5 Due to our recent encounter with the
>Jem'Hadar and the Dominion, I have made plans to report directly to
>Starfleet on the matter. This new threat is the greatest to the Alpha
>quadrant since the Borg, and we are tasked with its defence.
TOM: You're defending somebody who's threatening you?
> The
>Enterprise and the Farragaut are also on their way. The Enterprise being
>severely damaged in an attack by an unknown vessel. Personal note, I could
>not think of a worse time for the Enterprise to be out of action and at
>this station than now.
CROW: Right when we're being threatened by this threat here that's the greatest
threat since the Borg, and is really...threatening...
> Commander Benjamin Sisko sat back on his office contemplating his log
>entry. The Enterprise Coming here, now, at all times! His was also
>apprehensive at the arrival of that ship. I wasn't that he disliked
>Picard, well, at first he did, but It came more from the way he had
>treated Picard at the start. No. He had to admit it to himself. It was
>because every time he looked into Picard's face; he saw the face of
>Locutus of Borg.
MIKE: Ah, Commander Sisko, you know Picard hasn't been under the Borg's mind
control for several seasons now? You can stop angsting about it.
> The being that took Jennifer away from him, killed her
>and thousands of others without the slightest remorse. He swept all bad
>thoughts from his mind. He was about to turn in his chair and look out the
>port window when he heard a communication chime. He turned back to his
>desk. "This is Commander Sisko," He said.
> "Commander," Major Kira started. "The Enterprise and the Farragaut are
>requesting docking clearance."
> Ben Sisko stood up and walked though his office doors that had slid
>respectfully aside into Ops.
TOM: The doors slid *respectfully* aside?
CROW: As opposed to, what, sliding aside so he doesn't smack into them?
> "Major, give both ships docking clearance,"
>He said and walked though Ops to the turbolift. "I'll be going to greet
>the two Captains," Kira nodded.
> The Farragaut broke away from the Enterprise, giving her the privilege
>to dock under her own steam. The two ships danced though space as they
>neared the station. Deep Space Nine. Its shape outlined against the stars
>and the blackness, stood alone in sapce. Far to the right; The Bajoran
>star dwarfed all others in the sky.
MIKE: If it's got this big star to the right than it's hardly alone, is it?
TOM: Oh, it's just the public restrooms. [singing, John Fogerty style] There's
a bathroom on the right...
> The ships docked; Farragaut on upper
>pylon one, Enterprise on upper pylon two.
CROW: They really `pylon' the ships on those docks, don't they? 'Cause it
sounds like `pile on', and...heh...never mind.
>
> Commander Sisko awaited the two Captains at the promenade entrance to
>the pylon entrance bay. He saw them appear behind the door with another
>strange visitor. The door rolled aside to reveal them. They stepped though
>to allow the door to close. Ben extended his hand to Captain Martinez.
>"Captain Martinez," He greeted.
> "Commander," Martinez Replied. Captain Douglas Martinez was a tallish
>man with mud coloured hair. The uniform fitted his frame better than Ben
>had seen on any other person. His reputation was of the most solid and
>practical Captains in the fleet.
MIKE: Watch this guy. He's going to be secretly plotting against everyone.
> He turned to Picard. The face sent chills though him. He ignored them.
>"Captain Picard," He said, a little tightly.
> "Commander," Picard replied, his voice also strained slightly.
TOM, CROW [Picard and Sisko]: Grrrr! Snarl! Hiss!
MIKE: Now boys, play nice.
> Sisko eased the tension by turning to the new visitor. He was very tall
>and muscular. His hair was raven black, and his eyes burned a brilliant
>sapphire. they were almost disconcerting. "Mr...?" Ben asked.
> "Clark Kent," He replied in a baritone nearly as deep as Ben's,
>extending his hand.
> "Mr. Kent. Welcome to Deep Space Nine," Ben greeted, shaking the Kent's
>hand.
> "We heard about the situation," Douglas began "Is it as bad as we fear?"
> "Probably worse," Ben replied seriously. "I hate to say it, but you
>probably couldn't pick a worse time to dock here."
> "Unfortunately We don't have much of a choice," Picard replied, "the
>Enterprise needs extensive repairs completed before we can get to the next
>nearest starbase."
CROW: Windshield ran out of antifreeze again.
> "Besides," Martinez interjected. "Starfleet said that having two
>Federation Starships was probably a good idea. Even if one is out of
>action."
> "What's been happening here?" Picard asked.
> "I've made arrangements to report to Starfleet command directly. The
>trip is scheduled for the next day. I could be there several months," Ben
>replied.
> "I see," Martinez answered, "however if Mr. Kent here is correct, then
>we may have a bigger problem from the Gamma quadrant than even you
>planned."
> Sisko looked at Clark in surprise.
> "I might not bee a good place to discuss this," Clark said, looking around.
TOM: Clark thinks he's a place? Huh?
MIKE: Now that's a delusion of grandeur.
> "In my office then." Sisko offered.
>
> "He calls himself ŚCyborg,'" Clark began, as Sisko Martinez and Picard
>listened, "His original name was Hank Henshaw. He was an astronaut,
>Captain of the space shuttle Excalibur during the late twentieth century..."
> "Wait a minute," Sisko interrupted, "I don't remember there being a
>space shuttle Excalibur."
CROW: Now I see where the title comes from. Everyone in the story is paying the
terrible price for not paying attention in history class.
> "Something else that he will come to later." Picard explained.
> Sisko turned back to Clark. "Do go on," he offered.
> "On the ships final voyage, the shuttle went through a radiation storm.
>He was barely able to save the crew. Somehow, the radiation interacted
>with his mind in an unusual way; He was able to place his conscience into
>inanimate objects and control them."
> "Like telekinesis." Ben offered.
> "No, not exactly. Any way, various things occurred, and his mind became
>decreasingly disturbed. Eventually he became insane and came to blame me
>for his predicament.
TOM: Hate to be a wet blanket, but...WHY?!
MIKE: You want *another* ten paragraphs of talky exposition, do you?
TOM: Eep! Never mind.
> He will do anything to humiliate me and then
>eventually kill me; including killing everyone even slightly involved with
>me. He's able to place his mind into most objects, so it made him
>virtually immortal."
> "Why does he hate you?" Sisko asked.
> "Show him." Picard said.
> Clark reached behind his back and pulled out a short length of thick
>Duranium alloy.
TOM: It's Carrot Kent, the wild and wacky prop comic!
> He showed it to Ben. "Looks like a piece of Duranium."
>Sisko offered.
> "Yes it does."
MIKE: But in fact it's merely a piece of tinfoil! You see, he hates me because
he hates magic shows.
> Clark took the rod and bent it with a barely discernible
>grunt. Sisko looked at the bent rod with amazement.
> "How..." Ben began.
> Clark then looked at the rod. It began to glow with heat. He bent it
>back into shape and then cooled it with his breath.
> Ben was dumbfounded.
> "During the late twentieth century, I was known as Superman. However
>Captain Picard has since told me that your history doesn't include me."
CROW: Must have been really vicious about shifting attention away from the dead
white guys; missed a few live white guys, too.
> Ben looked to Martinez.
> "The archaeological officer had an idea about that. She said that there
>was a brief mention in a official history by Kahn Alexander Locke, ruler
>of South America, about the Śrouting out and destroying of vile mutants.'
>There are mentions of Bats, Weird creatures, and cities of mutants. We
>think now that they are referring to people known as ŚSuperheros' Whole
>cities and histories were wiped from existence by the Kahn's.
TOM: So, Kahn's is responsible for this, are they?
CROW: Yeah, they used ground superhero to make their hot dogs.
MIKE: That...is just too disgusting.
TOM: It *does* explain why they keep s'darn well, though.
> Clark Kent
>is one of those ŚSuperheros' saved from the ravages of time." Douglas
>explained.
> Sisko looked at Clark. This was all just a little to much to take.
>"Your saying that history might not be as we thought."
> "Yes. Kahn Alexander's rule was pretty short, only about fifteen years,
>and as you know the United States recovered pretty quickly after that, but
>that's long enough to forget. They did survive in fictional form though.
>Until the 2030s as I recall."
>Then the face stuck. Sisko was looking at a man how was not supposed to
>exist! "Shouldn't you be waring a cape?" Ben asked.
TOM: Yeah, I've heard of you--you're the Phantom of the Opera!
>Clark looked himself over and smiled, "Its under my clothes," he replied.
> "Listen. I'm leaving tomorrow, I brief my first officer, Major Kira,
>and let her deal with this, in the meantime I would like to show Mr. Kent
>around the station."
CROW: Have him save a few damsels in distress, break a few doors, y'know, that
sort of thing.
> Martinez Nodded. "We'll get on to repairing the Enterprise, Captain?"
>He asked Picard.
> Picard Nodded.
>
>--
>-- Can't think of a good sig..................................sorry--
>
>From: E_Ho...@postoffice.utas.edu.au (Captain Cellulite)
>Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
>Subject: NEW ST:TNG/DS9-DC Superman Crossover (8/11) "Lessons of History"
>Date: 29 Jul 1996 01:11:44 GMT
>Organization: University of Tasmania
>Lines: 166
>Message-ID: <E_Hodges-2907961112590001@mg4_67.its.utas.edu.au>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: mg4_67.its.utas.edu.au
>
>Lessons of History
>(Star Trek TNG, DS9/DC-Superman Crossover) Part 8
>
> Data entered Deep Space Nine's sickbay with Clark in tow. At one of the
>consoles, Dr. Julian Bashir worked. Data ostensively cleared his throat.
CROW: Shouldn't that be `ostensibly'?
MIKE: Actually...no.
CROW: Never mind.
>Julian looked up, recognised Data and smiled. "Mr. Data," He happily
>greeted the android, "It's very good to see you again. How are the
>Dreams?" He asked, walking over.
> "I have had some most interesting experiences with that particular
>section of my neural net," Data replied.
TOM: In short, he's had a few neat dreams.
MIKE: Why use one short word when four long ones will do?
> "Splendid!" He almost exclaimed, "Who is you friend?" He turned to
>Clark, "Julian Bashir," He greeted.
> "Clark Kent," He said, taking is hand.
CROW: Hey, give me my hand back.
> "Well," He said, "what can I do for you gentlemen?"
> "Doctor," Data began, "I believe you have had some extensive experience
>with alien life forms."
> "Well. I would've thought that Exobiology was one of your specialities."
TOM: Now back to the Non Sequitur Show.
> "I would like to use your experience and equipment in running some
>tests on Clark Kent."
> Julian looked at them both with confusion. "Your an alien lifeform?" He
>asked Clark.
> Clark produced the now famous duranium rod trick. Julian stepped back
>in surprise. "That's impressive." The doctor breathed.
CROW: Where *do* you get all those duranium rods?
> Clark explained himself to an almost enraptured doctor, "...But somehow,
>my genetic structure has been too complicated to work out how my powers
>actually work," He finished
> Julian Considered it, "Well," he started, "I don't have anything that
>can't be put off, how long do you have?"
> "Until 16.30 hours. I have a meeting with Major Kira and Constable -
>Odo then."
> "Four an a half hours should be long enough."
> Data and Julian worked while Clark sat on a biobed. Clark looked
>around. "You know," Clark commented, "I'm just getting a little tired of
>sickbays."
MIKE: Reminds me of when I threw up in kindergarten and had to go lie down in
the nurse's office.
> "We've nearly finished with the diagnostic sequence," Julian assured.
> "What time is it?" Clark asked.
> "Its approximately 16:12." Data said.
> "I'd better go, let me know what you find." Clark got up and left.
> Data and Bashir looked at the DNA sequence on the display with wonder.
>"It is intriguing how such a DNA pattern could form," Data commented.
CROW: He has to say "intriguing" every ten minutes or 100 miles.
> "As far as Clark Kent was able to tell us, he said that Krypton of a
>planet orbiting a red star. On such a world, there would be far less solar
>energy being brought into the planets ecosystem than a world such as
>Earth. In animal life forms, especially warm blooded ones, there would
>have to be a severe energy deficit. It would have to be made up either by
>extremely large diets, or by some other means," Julian became excited,
>"Like photosynthesis!"
MIKE: Yeah, that's it! They reacted to low sunlight with an energy-making
process that's dependent on sunlight! Brilliant.
> He exclaimed, "That would mean that when he moved
>to a world with more energy input, the extra energy would be stored and
>might appear as his powers!"
TOM: So, like, why did the Kryptonians have superpowers even when they were on
Krypton?
MIKE: Shhhh. Next you'll be asking how light-speed dampeners work.
> Data thought about that. "An interesting hypothesis," he noted, "but it
>does not explain how his powers manifested. I would find it highly
>improbable that his powers developed by pure chance, Besides, if the
>process was like photosynthesis, then the result of more energy input
>would be similar to the result of overeating: obesity."
CROW: Now that you mention it, George Reeves *did* look a bit chunky...
> Data considered
>the matter further. "There may, However, be an explanation that may better
>fit the facts: It may be that Clark's ancestors were constructed by an
>advanced civilisation as soldiers or slaves. The powers were artificially
>induced in those peoples DNA. If such a situation of slave and master
>existed, then a revolution may have occurred, Clark's descendants being
>the more powerful.
MIKE: So, the Kryptonians are good guys?
> As the adventures of Superman, and our own scientific
>knowledge suggest, peoples with abilities far beyond other lifeforms. They
>may have developed a sense of superiority, even resulting in a God
>complex.
MIKE: So, the Kryptonians are *bad* guys?
> This may resulted in a war, as most complexes do, and resulted in
>them losing it.
TOM: Ahem. Speaking of "losing it"...
> The survivors may have exiled themselves to a world were
>their powers faded so that they could be safe from retribution. This might
>also explain why despite their advanced technology, they never left their
>world. For fear that their powers would remanifest and they would be
>hunted again."
CROW: The Most Ridiculous Game.
> Julian looked at Data with sheer disbelief. "That's pretty far out
>Data, especially for a machine."
> "To the contrary," Data disagreed, "There is a great deal of
>archaeological and scientific evidence to back such a hypothesis up: Sites
>such as those on Pria II and around the Federation. Histories about Evil
>Gods who invaded from the stars have existed as far back as forty thousand
>years."
TOM: Yeah, I remember hearing about how the Mesopotamian gods caused floods,
destroyed crops, and banged up doors just for the heck of it.
> "If that is true, than Clark's biological father may have just have
>been as easily unleashing a monster as a hero," Julian argued.
CROW: Well, whaddya expect from the Godfather?
> "From what I have learned, Clark's biological father put a program into
>the ship that bore his foetus to Earth. It was designed to reprogram his
>personality into a Kryptonian one. It failed of course. A Kryptonian's
>psychology is similar to Vulcan psychology: Devoid of emotion. It could
>have prevented such a god complex from occurring."
MIKE: Ah, a god complex. Yes, that *would* explain why Mr. Duranium Rod there
keeps showing off.
> Julian sighed, "Well, whatever the explanation, It's a masterful job of
>genetic engineering and energy management. Intentional or otherwise."
>
>
> Clark headed for the briefing room. He knew that his arrival had caused
>a stir amongst the Human population, and that he may be interrupted on his
>journey. So, he had left plenty of time for interruptions. He smiled. It's
>certainly better than being mobbed by a crowd, wanting you to do the
>impossible. He shuddered. The desperate faces of the people in that crowd
>had always made him uncomfortable. "Please! Heal my child!" He always
>remembered that phrase in his head. He remembered that scene. It was
>before he had become Superman. Up until then, he had always managed to
>help people covertly. As his parents had said, "If people found out about
>you Clark, the Media would never leave us alone, and you'd probably be
>locked up in some laboratory." But that time he had no time to react. He
>had to save a spaceplane that was crashing. He flew up and saved it in
>front of everybody.
CROW: And then the spaceplane's child had to be healed? Eh?
> Afterwards, a mob had surrounded him, shouting pleas
>of help. Sickened, he had flown away. For that reason, he created
>Superman. A secret identity that he could use to protect his personal life
>and his family.
> "Excuse me!" He heard a voice. A short alien was running up to him,
>"Excuse Me!" The alien reached him. It extended its hand. "My name is
>Quark, I own the bar over there." He panted.
>Commander Sisko had warned Clark about Quark. He had said that his species
>was known as Ferengi. They had no ambition but to acquire profit. Clark
>had known someone like that, and his name was Lex Luthor.
> "I was wondering if we could make an appointment to discuss a business
>proposition I have for you..."
> "Excuse me but I have a meeting to go to already..." He interrupted.
> "But a man with you talents could be very..."
> Quarks barely disguised desperation annoyed Clark. So he took the
>direct approach. He moved his face close to Quark's. "I'm sorry," he said,
>very quietly, "But the last person to try and buy me was arrested - by
>me," And walked off leaving a profoundly disturbed Quark standing in the
>promenade.
TOM: Ladies and gents, I think we have our good-guy-secretly-sabotaging-the-
mission here.
>
> * * * * *
>
> On the other side of the wormhole, a battle was in full swing.
>Jem'hadar ships buzzed like angry bees around a massive ship, their
>phasers swiping the monstrous vessels shields, without effect. The
>spherical ship was almost two kilometres in diameter. Every now and again
>a Jem'hadar ship would smash itself straight into the side of that
>monolithic vessel.
CROW: Oh, must be Jem'hadar driving tests going on.
> It left a scar that was quickly repaired. Inside, two
>eyes, one biological, one machine, both cold, Watched the ensuing battle
>with scant interest.
> "It is almost amusing to watch them kill themselves so futilely." The
>Cyborg turned to the android at the controls at the back to the bridge.
>"They never give up, and that's always a trait I've always found comedic."
>He turned back to the screen. He watched a few seconds as two Jem'hadar
>cruisers dashed themselves to pieces on the titanic ships hull. He made a
>noise of disgust. "I'm tired of this game. Obliterate them." He ordered,
>in a bored tone.
TOM: Space Invaders just isn't any fun when you can mind-control the aliens.
> "At your command!" Came the androids crisp response.
> Jem'hadar ships continued to harry the vessel. Then a bright beam
>lanced out from an emitter on the ships hull, slicing though Jem'hadar
>shields and collapsing the ship. It exploded in a bright flash, and a
>short flame as all the vacuum snuffed out the fire. Yet more beams flashed
>and explosions shook, as Jem'hadar were slaughtered with their ships. As
>quickly as they had started, the barrages of weapons fire stopped. All
>that was left was the remains of a Jem'hadar fleet, and the Cyborg's ship.
>
> The Cyborg, meanwhile, was impatiently sitting at the opulent command
>chair.
> "Why isn't he here?!" He demanded finally.
> "Who sir?" asked the android.
> "That inept Clark Kent - Superman."
> "Perhaps he has been delayed," The android suggested.
MIKE: Perhaps he'd rather we just sit around 'til we choke?
> "He'd tear the known universe apart for his beloved Lois Lane, and the
>clue I gave him was so easy, even he could not miss it."
> "Shall we remain here sir?" the android asked.
>A slow evil smile crossed that half human, half machine face. "No," He
>said, "if Superman will not come to us, then we will go to him."
CROW: Right, boss...right into *his* trap!
> He turned
>to the assembled, artificial, crew, "Set course for the wormhole!" He
>shouted.
> "Sir," and android reported, "because of the size of this vessel, it
>will take approximately one hour to fully transverse the wormhole."
> "No matter," replied the Cyborg urbanely,
TOM: We'll sit around reciting technical-sounding nonsense; the hour'll be gone
before we know it.
> "it's time we played with
>some new friends." He sighed, "Besides, I tired of destroying Jem'hadar."
> The ship ponderously moved into position. The wormhole opened in a
>flash of light. The ship almost didn't fit. It struggled but finally
>passed the threshold. The wormhole's entrance collapsed once again.
>
>--
>-- Can't think of a good sig..................................sorry--
>
>From: E_Ho...@postoffice.utas.edu.au (Captain Cellulite)
>Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
>Subject: NEW ST:TNG/DS9-DC Superman Crossover (9/11) "Lessons of History"
>Date: 29 Jul 1996 01:11:55 GMT
>Organization: University of Tasmania
>Lines: 116
>Message-ID: <E_Hodges-2907961113100001@mg4_67.its.utas.edu.au>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: mg4_67.its.utas.edu.au
>
>Lessons of History
>(Star Trek TNG, DS9/DC-Superman Crossover) Part 9
>
> Major Kira sat at the head of the table while Clark Kent, or Superman
>as he was called, told her the situation between he and the Cyborg. To
>her, his stories could well have been soap opera fiction, or the Bajoran
>equivalent.
MIKE: Soap opera? On Deep Space Nine? Perish the thought.
> "So you think this Cyborg wants you to go through the wormhole
>to fight him, and he's holding your fiancee."
> "Essentially yes, but I'm not really sure he has got Lois and my
>parents. He'd lie to get me to go."
> Odo, the shapeshifter, who had surprised Clark when he explained who he
>was, spoke up. "The Gamma quadrant is not a particularly safe spot to be
>sitting right now, with the Jem'hadar running around."
CROW: No, wait, a report just came in saying the Jem'hadar were all wiped out by
a big spherical ship. Don't suppose this Cyborg guy knows any big
spherical ships, do you?
> Clark considered this. "After seeing what he did to the Enterprise, I
>think that he might have the upper hand with the Jem'hadar," he argued.
> Just then a communication came from Ops. It was Dax. "Dax to Kira, I
>picking up unusual readings from the wormhole."
MIKE [singing]: I'm pickin' up Cyborg vibrations...
> Kira looked up. "I'm on my way."
> Both Kira and Odo got up to leave. "Do you mind if I come to?" Clark asked.
> They looked at each other. "Fine," Kira said shortly.
> The three walked along the corridor to the turbolift when Odo spoke to
>Clark, "Who do I remind you of?" he asked.
> "I beg your pardon?" Clark confusedly asked.
> "You have the manner of one who is reminded of someone by me."
> Clark looked at him for a second. "His name was J'Onn J'Onzz, he was a
>shapeshifter like yourself."
TOM: Why do these guys have so many ap'ostrophes i'n th'eir n'ames?
> "Really," Odo said, "very Interesting."
MIKE: So, Spock says "Fascinating," Data says "Intriguing," Odo says
"Interesting"; is that it?
> They reached Ops, lieutenant Dax turned to them and offered Clark a smile.
> "What's up?" Kira asked.
> "I'm getting elevated Neutrino emissions of exactly the wrong
>frequency." She said.
> "What would cause that?"
> "Its as if the wormhole suddenly gained mass." Dax replied.
> "Or an extremely large object in the wormhole?" Clark suggested with a
>sinking feeling.
TOM: Clark go down the hoooooooole.
>
> "And how are we today Lois?" The Cyborg asked. Lois Lane stood
>suspended in a sparkling containment field. She spat at him.
> The Cyborg shrugged, "Well, at least it's an improvement on last week."
>He leered at her. "You once thought of me as the love of your life. Is
>that any way to treat me?"
> "You were nothing but an imposter Cyborg!" She shouted.
> "Perhaps, but I thought I made such a better Superman than him." The
>Cyborg sighed, "I wonder If he'll mind if I kill everyone he's ever met."
>The Cyborg mused.
> "Your insane!"
CROW: Yeah, he's keeping you alive just so he can kill you; shouldn't you be a
bit grateful?
> "But of course I am dear," he said mockingly, "I never pretended not to
>be. I've known for two centuries that I was insane. Or was it three? Never
>mind. The point is I hate Superman for making me insane, and I'm going to
>pay him back."
> "He tried to save you!"
> "That as it may be, but he failed, and If there is one thing I cannot
>stand, it is failure. This will teach him to be more fastidious in his
>saving won't it?" The Cyborg looked at the reporter. "I think I'll leave
>now. You can't have much of a conversation with someone who thinks your
>nuts."
MIKE: She thinks his...er...
CROW: I am not touching that one.
MIKE: Good boy.
>
> "What do you mean?" Kira asked sharply.
> Clark tried to respond "I've just got a bad feeling that the Cyborg is
>responsible."
> "Well," Kira resolved, "we'll find out. Dax, launch a class four probe
>into the wormhole."
> Dax pressed a few controls. A probe flew off Deep Space Nine and headed
>for the wormhole. It entered. "There's definitely some kind of massive
>object in there." Dax reported.
TOM: It's Superman's dad, come to get him! He *is* alive!
> "Switch to visual."
> They looked in astonishment as they saw a massive spherical ship
>shoulder its way though the wormhole. Then a face appeared on the screen.
>It was the Cyborg's. "Naughty, Naughty." It said, and it vanished.
> "The probe has been destroyed." Dax reported.
TOM: The best of Ratliff simply cannot compete with this for sheer, riveting,
heart-pounding action.
CROW: Yeah, Ratliff might at least make it to the state championships.
> "We've got to go in there and stop him before he gets here." Clark said.
> "We can't have a battle in the wormhole," Dax disagreed, "the wormhole
>entities wouldn't like it very much."
MIKE: Wormhole entities?
TOM: Yeah, they all come crawling out when there's a meteor shower, real pain in
the neck.
> "Evacuate the station. Get the Enterprise and the Farragaut out of
>here. Their not do much good against that." Kira ordered.
>Clark spoke, "The only way to beat him is to get inside that ship and
>destroy it."
> Kira turned to him, "and how do think you're gonna get in there. Knock
>politely and ask?" she asked, annoyed.
CROW: Hello? Pizza delivery!
> "It might just be that simple," Clark assured her, "but I'll need help.
>I'll get Data."
> Odo turned to Kira, "As chief of station security, I ask you to allow
>me to go on this mission, as this is a matter of station security," He
>turned back to Clark, "if you will allow me."
TOM: After all, I'm the only person on the station nearly as neat as you are.
> "We could always do with more help." Clark agreed.
> "I can't allow this..." Kira began.
> "Major, If we don't stop this ship, it may destroy the entirety of
>Bajor, if not more," Odo asserted.
CROW: More than the entirety?
MIKE: That's pretty thorough, yup.
> She looked at him, almost stricken. "You'll need a Runabout."
TOM: We've been *getting* the runabout for the past nine chapters.
>
> Data was heading for the Enterprise with Picard when Clark caught up
>with them. "Captain," He called out.
>Picard turned to Clark. "Ah, Mr. Kent, The Enterprise is..."
>Clark interrupted him, "I'm sorry Captain, I need Data to stop the ship
>that's coming."
> "Mr. Kent, We need Commander Data on the Enterprise,
CROW: We use his batteries to jump-start it.
> It would be ill
>advised to try and stop this ship. A fleet is already on its way."
> "But Captain, Data knows more about the encryption systems on that ship
>than anyone else.
MIKE: He's got the Little Orphan Annie secret decoder ring.
TOM: "Be...sure...to...drink..."
> If we can stop it from destroying the station, which I
>have no doubt it will try, here and now, they'll be no need for the
>fleet."
> Data turned to Jean-Luc, "That is true Captain, I would, in all
>probability, know more about the ship's functioning than anyone." He said
>thoughtfully.
> Picard thought about it. "It against my better judgment. Do what you
>think best."
> "Come on Data." Clark called.
TOM: Come on Eileen.
CROW: Oh, I swear.
>
> Picard reached the bridge. "Status," He ordered.
>Geordi replied, "Warp engines are still offline, we'll need the Farragaut
>to tow us out."
> "Very well." He turned to the ensign at the conn, "Prepare to depart,
>Ensign, engage impulse engines."
TOM: Let's engage our engines and warp outta here.
MIKE: Excellent idea.
>
>--
>-- Can't think of a good sig..................................sorry--
[ Mike picks up Tom, all exit ]
o...2...3...4...5...6.../
[ SoL bridge. MIKE seated on a high stool, carrying a toy guitar. BOTS on
either side of him. ]
MIKE [singing]: Wellllllllllll,
I say-a hey Mister Captain, won'tcha give me a chance?
i jus' can't help it if my tights've got ants
It's been a whole lotta years, I'm not too sure how much,
But the big-a Enterprise makes me look not so butch.
Hey! Hey! ... there's so much rescuin' to do.
I say hey lawdy mama, I must've got the Superhero Blues.
[ strums valiantly, if not tunefully, on the guitar ]
I gotta lotta X-ray vision, and two great super-ears,
I wanna make myself useful, so c'mon won'tcha hear?
My girlfriend's a reporter, she calls me by the name Clark,
And I hope that this don't turn out the wrong tree up which to bark.
Oh no! ... Jus' give me time, I'll get a clue.
I say hey bop-a-lu-la, looks like I got the Superhero Blues.
[ more strumming, followed by some frenetic attempts at harmonica ]
I fly around the planet in my nifty super-suit,
I can go out inta deep space, I don't need ta give a hoot.
My friends have all gone ribbit, an' it gives me super-pains
To know the only true believer left has transistors for brains!
Hey! Hey! I'll be a helper ya can't refuse.
I say hey oompa-loompas, take me away from Superhero Blues!
[ furious strumming to a final, familiar sounding, strummed chord ]
[ TOM and CROW applaud, listlessly. ]
MIKE [nodding]: Thank you! Thank you!
CROW: This mean you're done yet!
TOM: Shhhhh!
MIKE: Of course I'm finished. We've got commercial sign.
[ commercials--have your re-runs been feeling less than fresh lately? ]
--
Matthew Miller -- mattm (at) infinet (dot) com