MiSTed: The Rangers of NIHM (3/4)

[Håkan Svensson]

(Continued from part 2)

[Interior, SoL. Mike is sitting on the floor with legs in the lotus
position. Tom is beside him, floating in the air. Crow is off screen.]

MIKE: Ommmmmm...
TOM: Ommmmmm...
MIKE: My mind is clean...
TOM: My mind is clean...
MIKE: Free from impure thoughts...
TOM: Free from impure thoughs...
MIKE: Free from this fanfic...
TOM: Free from this fanfic...

[Suddenly, a crashing sound is heard from off screen.]

MIKE: [getting up] What's Crow up to *now*?

[Mike enters the section of the satellite where Crow is. It is filled from
wall to wall with... waffles.]

MIKE: CROW!
CROW: Oh, hi, Mike! This waffle iron you fitted me with was really great!
I can make as many waffles as I want!
MIKE: Crow... This has to got to go out the airlock.
CROW: WHAT?
MIKE: Pretty soon *we* won't have any space left for us if you keep this
up!
CROW: No! No! Not my precious waffles!
MIKE: Get serious, Crow.
CROW: Look, is Herr Mike Hitler of the Food Gestapo going to tell me what
food I can or cannot make? This is a free coutry! We can choose to
make steaks, pies, or any sort of food. I refuse to be discriminated
because I chose waffles!
MIKE: Just because I give you free space on the satellite doesn't mean...
Aww, to heck with it.

[Mike shakes his head and leaves]

MIKE: The fanfic must have gotten to him.

[What did you expect? Fanfic sign actvivates, the ususal hilarity ensues.]

MIKE and TOM: NOOOOOOOO! WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!
CROW: Waffles!

[ 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ]

>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> "Jonathan?"
>
> The mouse opened his eyes slowly.
>
> "How do you feel?" Gadget said looking at him.
>
> "ermmmf... Morring Gadget Love...

CROW: Morring?

> Did I miss anything?" He
> smiled.

TOM: [Gadget] Oh, me and Bean just took a trip to the park, that's all.

>
> "Are you going to be ok?" She was still holding on to his paw.
>
> He noded. "Just seeing your lovely face in the morring is all I
> need."

CROW: Morring?

> Jonathan rub her paw gently as she let go. She felt a warm
> glow from her face.

MIKE: [singing] You give me fever in the morning, fever in the night...

> She quickly turned away.
>
> There was the sound of the TV running in the back ground.

TOM: The TV set of Baba Yaga.

> Cartoons were heard. Gadget walked out into the living room and saw
> Dale watching TV. "Good morring Dale."

CROW: Morring?

>
> "Hi Gadget. How's Jonathan?"
>
> "He's awake I was about to tell Doctor Ages."

TOM: [voice a la Gargoyles] We came from long ago... from the Doc Ages!

>
> "I'm right here." Gadget saw the short mouse wave his cane in
> the air he was sitting near the TV also. Gadget almost giggled at
> the sight of a old mouse watching cartoons. */Some people never grow
> up.\*

CROW: Look! He didn't close that comment properly! Does that mean we can
ignore the rest of the fanfic?

> "Oh golly I'm a mess." Gadget said as she felt her hair and
> walked in to the hall way.

MIKE: That can easily be cured by starring in something less messy.
CROW: Like "The Eye of Argon."

>
> "G'day Gadget." Monty said as he finshed triming his mustach.
> Gadget wated on till Monty left the bathroom and went in.

TOM: [Gadget] Oh, gross!! MONTY!!!!!!

>
> Chip walk out and saw Dale watching TV he looked over and saw
> Mr. Ages checking on Jonathan.

CROW: [Mr. Ages] Check!
MIKE: [Jonathan] Damn! Maybe if I move my pawn...

>
> "Hey what a suprise. Didn't expect you here?" Jonathan said.
>
> "Don't you start with me, Jonathan Brisby. You used that amulet
> again at full power and you know what does.."

MIKE: [Mr. Ages] Do you know how much new batteries cost?

>
> ----------
>
> "Dale, keep it here. Its time for the morring news?" Chip said
> as he watched.

CROW: Morring?

>
> "Good Morring Metro.

CROW: *Morring*?

> I'm Tracy Hat

MIKE: I think Guinan used to wear one of those.

> with the morring news.

CROW: [hysterical] MORRING?? [sobs]
MIKE: There, there. It's almost over now!
CROW: [sniffling] Really?
MIKE: No, not really.
CROW: [sobs again]

> First up: Police and Fire Fighters where called to the Metro's
> Research Center Of Mental Health. When what appeard to be a
> earthquake hit the building at around 9:45 last night. No injures
> where reported. . ."

MIKE: ["Tracy Hat"] And, mysteriously, no other building or resident in the
city reported this "earthquake," but I'm just a dumb anchorwoman.

>
> "er, you forgot Gadget's swollen foot and JB's two fried hands.
> I hear that amulet of yours gets kinda hot. . ."

CROW: [Gadget] And so do I!

>
> "I know, Monty. That's why I wrear gloves."

CROW: Wrear?
TOM: This fanfic was brought to you by the letter "R".

>
> " . . . Experts say that there was no logical reason for this

MIKE: Fanfic.

> localzed quake and say the cause was do to faulty construction of the
> bulidings foundations. . ."

CROW: Yes, there's always an earthquake when a building collapses.

>
> Chip guffawed, "And where did we hear *that* before? Like
> anyone's going to believe a mad scientist started it."

TOM: [Chip] Everyone knows it was cheap, substandard construction by
underbidding contractors so the city councilmen could line their
pockets!

>
> ". . . Police have yet to come up with a estament of damage
> cost. Police are also investagating the loss of chemacles which were
> stolen during the incident.

CROW: I think the spell checker finally gave up and committed harakiri.

> NIMH, The National Institute of Mental
> Health which has a contract with Metro Research Center whould not
> comment on the contantes of these chemacles. But they did state that
> the cheamcals are dangerus and can prove to be fatal if used. Police
> are still searching for suspects in the robery.

MIKE: The police are wearing robes?
CROW: That would explain a lot.

> There is also no
> positive conclusion that this robery has any connection with the
> other spree of robberiess thew out the city.

TOM: ["Tracy Hat"] Never mind that they were all at places that had
contracts with NIMH. I'm *telling* you there's no connection!

> And in other news..."
> 'CLICK'
>
> "This is bad." Doctor Ages said. "If the chemacles stolen are
> the same that was use on us..."

CROW: The entire WORLD will have no grasp of grammar, spelling, or syntax!

>
> "There's no telling what Nimnul will be capable of doing with
> it. We have to stop him at all costs." Jonathan smaked his fist in
> his hand.

TOM: [Jonathan] Stupid hand! I hate you forever!

>
> "It's all staring to make sence now.

CROW: [Glinn Gusat] Makes sense.

> All the roberys. They all
> had to do with NIMH.

TOM: All the crime scenes had connections with NIMH, they know that Nimnul
worked at NIMH, and they conclude *now* that the robberies have to do
with NIMH?
MIKE: Well, the characters are only as smart as their authors.

> We have got to find him before it's too late."

CROW: Did Lapensee and Gonterman work on the dialogue for "Resident Evil"?

>
> Chip got his hat and walked to the door. The others also walked
> up to the door.

CROW: No one will be admitted during the thrilling "walking to the
door" scene!

>
> Doctor Ages stoped Jonathan. "You're not strong enough
> Jonathan, you need more time."
>
> "But I got to stop Nimnul..."

TOM: [Jonathan] Besides, I *like* falling into comas!

>
> Gadget walked in front off him. "Not you Jonathan, US. When
> the time is right. Chip, Dale, Monty and Zipper will look for him."
>
> "What about you Gadget Love?" Monty asked.

MIKE: [Gadget] Oh, me and the girls will just record a new Hole album.

>
> Gadget pointed to her foot. "I'll just slow you guys down.
> I'll stay here with Jonathan and Mr. Ages. Maybe we can find away to
> neutralize those chemacles."

TOM: That's easy. You just need to know whether they're acids or bases.

>
> Chip was about to protest but Monty pushed him out the door with
> Dale. Jonathan wanted so much to just walk out that door but Gadget
> and Mr. Ages pulled him back.

TOM: [Michael Corleone] I've tried so hard to break free, but they
KEEP pulling me back!

>
> "That's our Jonathan Brisby, child," Ages quipped. "Always too
> adventurous for his own good. That's how his namesake became cat
> food, If I recall."

MIKE: [Mr. Ages] Always had a thing for Purina. What a weirdo.

>
> "Yeah, Doc, sure. Like some measily flea-bitten, dumb ol' cat
> can beat up a Brisby . . ."

CROW: But... But that's exactly what *happened*!

>
> ----------
>
> Gadget appeared to be frustrated. Mr. Ages looked at her.
> "Don't worry your self, Gadget, not even the Legendary Rats of NIMH
> could totaly figure out the formula."

TOM: We're, like, totally gonna analyze this formula, 'nkay?

>
> "But I'm so close. All we need is one more ingeredent..."

CROW: [Gadget] Eye of Newt! That's it!

>
> She looked at Mr. Ages, Jonathan and then she looked at her
> self.

TOM: [Gadget] Excuse me. Time again for me to marvel in my own beauty. I
really am pretty, am I not?

> "I am very immpressed by your designs, Gadget," Ages said as he
> inspects her work.

MIKE: Hubba, hubba!

> "It is much like my own tools. You are just as
> smart as us NIMH Rats."

TOM: In this story, that's an *insult*!

>
> "Do you think so? <Gadget pauses> "Mr. Ages... This has been
> bugging me for some time now ever since I heard that NIMH was apart
> of all this.

CROW: And now NIMH *don't* have anything to do with this?
MIKE: Whoa. Now *that's* what I call a plot twist.

> A old memory of my father comes to mind. His name was
> Geegaw Hackwrench."
>
> Mr. Ages face drops and he paces around Gadget's work shop.

TOM: Aaah! Watch where you step again!

> Jonathan and Gadget watch as the old mouse continues to repeat his
> name. Gadget remembers back long ago.
>
> --------Begin Flashback

CROW: There, ladies and gentlemen, positive *proof* that this story was
written under the influence of LSD!

>
> "Criky there Geegaw. Would you look at little Gadget there. She
> has just sorted all the number blocks in order and she can't even
> walk upright yet."

MIKE: [Monty] Of course, they all say "1", but it's still impressive.

>
> Monty see's the look in Geegaw's face. "Ah. What is it mate?"
>
> Geegaw looks at Monty. "It's not natural I'm afraid."

TOM: Hell, it's *certainly* not natural for people to act cleverly in this
story!

>
> "What do you mean?"
>
> "It's from me . . ."
>
> --------End FLashback

CROW: Um...okay.
TOM: Well, that was certainly the most useless flashback I've ever seen.

>
> "Geegaw Hackwrench.. Geegaw Hackwrench.. GEEGAW HACKWRENCH!!!

ALL: [singing] Normal View! ... NOR-mal VIEW! ... *NORMAL* *VIEW!*

> I
> remember.. It was a very long time ago. He was a young mouse at the
> time.. He was at NIMH with us."

MIKE: Is there anyone here who can muster enough suspension of disbelief
to believe this?
BOTS: No.

>
> With that Ages motioned Jonathan closer to him and Gadget.

TOM: Motion overruled!

> "There is something I haven't told either of you about our legacy:
> You know that during our escape, all but two of the mice, the
> original Jonathan Brisby and myself, were sucked down an air shaft.
> I didn't think it was possible that any of them survided.

CROW: [Dr. Ages] But, heck, if Gadget can survive being crushed by heavy
machinery, *anything* is possible!

> But it
> looks like we were wrong! Gadget, if your father is the same one
> then it would explane a lot." Gadget's mind screams back again.

MIKE: We can certainly empathize with that, Gadget dear...

>
> --------Begin Second Flashback

TOM: Again?
CROW: How many hits did the authors take before writing this?

>
> "What do you mean?"
>
> "It's from me. That why she's so smart. Monty, when I was
> about your age. Me and some of my friends got caught by humans. We
> were put into a lab and used for testing. You can't imagine the pain
> and death I saw and felt there.

TOM: [Geegaw] It was like working for Disney.

> I don't know what they did to me
> but, there was also others. A rat named Nicodemus was able to open
> his cage. First he freed all the rats and then us. We planed our
> escape one night through the ventalion shaft. As we where escaping,
> the fans kicked in and

MIKE: ...started writing hideous stories based on our adventures.

> we where sucked down. The rope that was made
> got cault on to my foot so I didn't fall to my death like my friends.
> When I got out I looked for the others but I didn't find them.

TOM: Hmm. Could that be because they fell to their deaths?
MIKE: Maybe. I'm not quite sure.

> What
> you see all around you, my inventions, drawings and my plane, is
> because I am smart. I never knew how to do any of this untill after
> NIMH."

CROW: Duuuuh... Me smart!

>
> Monty sits back. "Are you going to tell Gadget when she gets
> older?"

TOM: [Geegaw] The birds and bees thing? Oh, that will have to wait a while.

>
> "I will when I feel the time is right but untill then...
> Monterey Jack, I want you to promise me that you woun't tell her. I
> don't want her to feel different from the other mice. She has a hard
> enough time making friends as is."

MIKE: [Geegaw] With me being her father and all.

>
> Monty smiles. "Don't worry mate you can depend on me."

CROW: Monty, the DEPENDable mouse!

>
> --------End Second Flashback

TOM: Thank the Lord for small blessings.

>
> Gadget was crying.
>
> "Gadget whats wrong?" Jonathan asked and rubed her shoulder.
> She responed and held him in a tight imbrace. "He's was right it all
> makes sence...

CROW: [Glinn Gusat] Makes sense.

> I.. I am different.. Oh daddy

TOM: Daddy'O?

> why?.. Why did you
> have to die..

MIKE: Well, in a hypothetical world without aging, the mechanics of
evolution would not be in function, and the creatures wouldn't be
able to adapt to changing climates and environments.

> Why weren't you there to tell me.."
>
> Jonathan holds her for a long time. His shoulder feels water
> logged.

ALL: A witch! She's made of wood! Build a bridge out of her!

> Gadget sniffs and sits down. "I'm sorry for that out burst
> there I'm usally not that emotional."

CROW: [Gadget] I'm usually as emotionally dead as Scully.

>
> Mr Age's looks at Gadget. "There is only one way to know for
> sure Gadget, if the formula is in your blood." He walks up to her.

MIKE: [Hungarian accent] I will have to drink it. Don't worry, this will
only hurt a bit.

>
> Gadget streachs out her arm. A sample of her blood is taken.
>
> A solution was added to the sample in a vial.

TOM: Boy, you can just tell that the authors really researched chemistry to
enhance the realism, can't you?

>
> "Now then, If the NIMH formula is in your blood, Ms. Hackwrench,
> this blood sample will turn blue."
>
> He capped the vial.
>
> He shook.

MIKE: Shake it, Dr. Ages!

>
> The blood turned blue.
>
> Gadget looked at it in awe.

TOM: [Gadget] Damn! I'm pregnant!

>
> "Gadget, you're one of *us*. This is great."

CROW: Join us! Jooiinn usss!!!

>
> "Then its all true... I'm smart because of some exparment.."
>
> "Not totally Gadget

MIKE: But at least 99.8% pure Gadget.

> the formula only enhances what you all ready
> are. You where born an inventor and that is what you are, even if
> NIMH did give you a little help." Jonathan says trying to dry her
> tears.

TOM: I feel your pain, Gadget.
CROW: I feel pain, all right, but it sure isn't Gadget's!

>
> "Child, in you and in Jonathan our legacy continues to the next
> generation," Mr. Ages adds.

MIKE: The Secret of NIMH - The Next Generation!
TOM: Shhh, Mike! You're giving the authors ideas.
CROW: Yeah, that would give them a grand total of one.

> "I am honored as you should be to have
> you to be one of the Rats. Feel free to visit us over at Thorn
> Valley sometime. There is much we can teach you, Gadget."

CROW: [Dr. Ages] Say after me, Gadget: A, B, C, D...

>
> After a while of quiet between the two, Jonathan desides to
> cheer up Gadget. He pulls a red marble out of a pocket and makes it
> disappear and reappear several times over as Gadget watches intently.

TOM: How to keep Gadget Hackwrench occupied for hours.

>
> "Golly, You're a magician too?"

CROW: When someone finds out, please tell me where this scene came from.
Thanks in advance.

>
> "Why, yes, Gadget," Ages said between sips of coffee. "JB here
> was raised by his uncle Copper, a very famous illusionist in our
> parts.

CROW: He can make evidence disappear just like that and can make DNA change
on the fly!

> He taught Jonathan everything he knows."

MIKE: Well, that shouldn't have taken long.

>
> Finding an empty bucket, Jonathan turned one marble into three
> and let them fall into it. He then made three more appear and let
> those fall in too. He did that over and over a few times.

CROW: I'm Jonathan Brisby the Great and I can break laws of matter
conservation as much as I want to!
MIKE: It's a *cartoon*, Crow.

>
> "He can keep doing that until this oak's filled back up," Ages
> chuckled.

TOM: How to keep Jonathan Brisby occupied for hours.
CROW: Filled *back* up? He already did this once and filled the oak?
That's... really something.

>
> "There's gotta be something under that sleeve," Gadget says.
>
> "Oh really," Jonathan smirked as he held up that arm and pulled
> the sleeve up. There wasn't even an arm there; only his gloved
> hand floating in mid-air, giving a giggling Gadget the "I got your
> nose" routine.

TOM: Yes, it's the Amazing Lame-o!

>
> "Here, JB." Ages reached into his bags. "I brought your box."
> He brought out that looked like a cigar box covered in dark blue
> velvet decorated with stars.

MIKE: But was really Inspector Closeau in an incredibly clever disguise.

> "This'll keep you two occupied for
> hours."
>
> Gadget took a look inside. Nothing.

CROW: Well, that's certainly enough to keep at least Monty occupied for
hours.

>
> But Jonathan let a spark from his fingertips fall into the box,
> catching it on fire. He quickly closed the box and shook it.
>
> CHINKA-CHINKA-CHINKA!!

TOM: Chaka Khan...Chaka Khan Chaka Khan!

>
> The box is now fulled with a mouse-size kiddie magic set. His
> toys, he called it once.

CROW: [Makes sound of phone ringing]
MIKE: Hello. These are your toys speaking. Your toys are unfortunately not
in at the moment, so please leave your message after the tone.

>
> "Wow!"
>
> Ages chuckled as he stepped outside for some fresh air,
> wondering how the others are doing.
> _______________________________
>
> "He has got to be in one of these abandoned factorys."

TOM: [Chip] I'm telling you! Bad guys *always* hang out in abandoned
factories.

> Chip
> said as he looked threw the binoculars.

CROW: Hey, those are *expensive* binoculars. Don't throw them!

> "Zipper can look around for
> us?"
>
> Zipper squeaked yes and flew down towards the buildings. Dale
> sighed as he watched Zipper disapper. "Dale what is it?"
>
> "Just thinking..." Chip looked at Dale.

MIKE: [Dale] Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

>
> "And I thought you didn't like to think." Dale looked at Chip.

TOM: [Dale] I think...

>
> "Are we really going to leave the Rescue Rangers?"
>
> "Dale we have talked about this before..."

CROW: [Chip] But I'm just not ready to commit right now.
MIKE: CROW!
CROW: What? The authors have already established that Chip is scared of
girls.

>
> Nimnul is sitting at his control panel. There's a flashing red
> light. He presses a button. <CLICK> A monitor displays the Ranger
> Wing.

TOM: How nice! Security cameras aimed at the sky.

> "It's them... I knew sooner or later they would come. Well I
> have a little something wating for them.

ALL: Ewwwww!

> Let the games begin! Hah
> haaa hahaaa..."

CROW: There's something funny in there somewhere, but I'm *not* going to
look for it.

>
> Dark clouds from in the sky above and there is the sound of
> thunder. "Crikey! Talk about your freak weather..." Monty said
> looking up.
>
> "There was nothing in the news today about rain. OH [BLEEPED BY
> THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY]

MIKE: Gaaaah!
TOM: I really wish they'd stop doing that!

> Nimnul must be using his weather maker!"
> Chip yelled out.

TOM: Sure! "The weather report was wrong! Nimnul must be using his weather
maker!"

> "Dale we got to land now! Nimnul will barbaq us if
> we don't."

CROW: Nimnul will bareback the mice?
MIKE: Ugh. That's just *wrong*.

>
> Dale landed the plane. "Chip I think that out burst just blew
> away the TV-G rating to a TV-14."

CROW: Well, I've got some [bleep]ing [bleep] for you to [bleep] if you
think you can make your [bleep] show TV-14...
MIKE: Calm down, Crow.
CROW: I'm just saying that would never happen to us, that's all.

>
> Chip pulled Dale out of the plane. "Now's not the time..."
>
> CRACKLE....
>
> "RUN!!..."

TOM: Snap and Pop are right behind them!

>
> BLAM!!!! The plane exploded into tiny flaming pieces and the
> Rangers got blown away from the explosion.

ALL: [cheer]

>
> The Rangers moaned as they slow stood up.

ALL: [boo]

> Dale looked at the
> small fire where the Wing once was. "Gadget's not going to like
> this..."

CROW: Actually, I think she rather likes it when her life's work is
destroyed. Sheesh.

>
> Zipper zoomed to Monty and squeaked to him. "What's that
> Zipper...Crikey!.." "What's he saying?"

MIKE: He's saying "squeak"! Didn't you hear?

> "He's found Nimnul and a
> bunch of Rats" The Rangers ran into the buliding.

TOM: Moo, moo, moo, moo, mooo!
MIKE: What? A homesteader has fenced in the waterhole?

>
> Shortly they ran into a big, very big room. The walls where
> covered in cages full of Rats. Dale looked around. "Talk about deja
> vu!."

CROW: Well, since Dale wasn't at NIMH, we can only conclude that he has
seen rats in cages somewhere else.

>
> They see Nimnul sitting in a chair looked at some monitors.
> Chip looked. "Maybe we can free these Rats look for a lever."

TOM: A lever that will open all doors at the same time. Yes, I can see
the use of that. Do they have a self destruct button at NIMH as well?

> They
> quietly walked by Nimnul. Nimnul pressed a switch and turned around.
> A trap door opened and they feel in. "Hello!! So nice of you to
> drop by HAHAHAAAAA."

ALL: [muted trumpet] Wahh-wah-wah-waaah...

> Zipper flew away. Nimnul smiled as he saw the
> fly zoom away. "Come back soon!!!" Nimnul said. "Yes my plan is
> working perfectly.

TOM: [Nimnul] I just allowed my arch enemies to send a rescue party! It's
working perfectly!

> Once that new mouse arrives, he will give me his
> amulet for his friends and I will become the most powerful human
> alive!!! I will have my revenge on NIMH and the WORLD!!! HAHAHAHA!"

CROW: [dully] Ha. Ha. Ha.

> _________________
>
> ". . . While I was out traveling the country seeking fame,
> fortune, and females--I used to date a lot trying to find the perfect
> someone whom I can call my 'Minnie.' I haven't gotten any luck, but
> I must say, <a pause>

MIKE: That's the spirit! Keep the words not coming.

> I find you very much like the one I'm looking
> for."

CROW: Ugh. Please, not the romance subplot again!
TOM: [retches]

>
> Gadget blushes.
>
> "Well, I was in the mid-west, where I found a young boy, oh
> about 13 years, trapped in a fantasy world of his own imagination.

TOM: Um... This is not going to involve the writers, is it?
MIKE: Let's play to our favorite deities it won't.

> A
> rabbit costume much like this tiny one in my hand, held him in
> bondage inside that state of perpetual separation from reality.

MIKE: Not. A. Word.
TOM: Oh, dear Lord Eris, *please* let this not involve the writers.

>
> He crushes that tiny costume in his hand.

CROW: I'm crushing your head! Crush! Crush!

>
> "I defeated that bunny suit and freed the young man back to
> reality. . ."

TOM: I though the Maxx was the bunny in a man suit, and it was Julie who got
brought back to reality?
MIKE: Just give it up.

>
> When he opened his hand back out, a bird sprang out and took off
> for the outside, passing an oncoming Zipper coming back in.
>
> ". . . it took some doing, David was awfully shy.

TOM: Okay. Let me get this straight. Did the author just write himself into
the story in a bondage bunny suit?
MIKE: Er... Yes.
TOM: Thanks. [Tom's head explodes.]

> He eventually
> got the ability to reach out to the world when he got an America On-
> Line disk--eh?"

CROW: Oh, he's *gotta* be kidding!
MIKE: [coughing] I wish Tom would stop doing that. The theater gets so full
of smoke.

>
> "Zipper! What's going on? Where's Chip n' Dale n' Monty? Slow
> down will you? We can't hear."

CROW: I mean, AOL don't give out accounts to 13-year olds, do they?

>
> But the housefly's frantic hand signs were too rapid to
> dechiper.

CROW: AOL can't really be *that* money hungry?

>
> Jonathan cupped a hand under Zipper's chin and looked right into
> his eyes.

CROW: [desperately] AOL wouldn't *possibly* let anyone *this* immature on
the... Oh, my God. [starts sobbing]
MIKE: I know how it feels.

> As Jonathan spoke quietly at him, Zipper's rapid breathing
> slowed down, his eyelids began to relax, as did his limbs. He
> buzzing were softer and more legible now.

MIKE: I see the Amazing Lame-o has a hypnotism bit too.
CROW: [still sobbing] Make Zipper act like a chicken!

>
> After a while of this, Jonathan set Zipped gently down on the
> sofa. The housefly appeared sound asleep. He turned to Gadget and
> Ages with a stern look on his face.

CROW: [sniffs] Just be happy it wasn't on his Private Parts.
MIKE: I see you're back to normal.

>
> "They're in trouble. Nimnul's got them, as well as all the
> missing rats. Like I said, he wants to take credit for the NIMH
> formula."
>
> "Nimnul would try to take credit for the crack of dawn, if he
> could."

CROW: Dawn is a plumber?

>
> "I wouldn't care less about that kooky professor's material
> success, or any other human at this time, for that matter. All I'm
> concerned about is rescuing my friends and my people, much like my
> great-grandfather did."
>
> "I think it's the perfect time to beta test my new invention..."

CROW: Chip and Dale have been captured by a mad scientist and are in
mortal danger. It's the *perfect* time to use unfinished and
unreliable equipment!
MIKE: I think we should get out of here and get Tom going again.

[They leave the theater.]

(Continued in part 4)