MiSTed - I Swear! Everything on TV is Geared to Feminizing Males! (0/2)
Bill Livingston
*SQUEALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL*
Ouch! Anyway, it's me, your friendly neighborhood Bill L. here, letting you
know that after holding a dibs for longer than any other hooman being,
living or dead, I'm about to post my latest MiSTing. The title is in the,
um, title, and it's a truly undelectable piece about how women in general
are ruining the world for poor, helpless men.
As always, the parts count may change without notice, since I'm using WinVN
to post, and WinVN is highly finicky about message chunk length.
Bill L.
And now, our main feature.
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bi...@Traveller.COM http:\\www.Traveller.COM\~bill
He that is of a merry heart hath
a continual feast - Prov. 15:15b
Bill Livingston
background standing behind game show podiums. Suddenly, Tom pops up
in front of the camera.]
SERVO: [monotone] Hello, I'm Tom Servo. And today, I'm putting my
entire underwear collection on the line. So if you think you're
quick enough, smart enough, and if you think you've got the guts -
you can - *Win Tom Servo's Undies*!!!
[Classical music swells in the background. Tom begins leaping about the
stage.]
MAGIC VOICE: And now, here he is, the bot with *literally* more boxers
than the law allows - TOM SERVO! [Tom stops gadding about]
SERVO: [monotone] If you're wondering how we eat and breathe, and other
science facts, just repeat to yourself, it's just a show where you
can win ALL 5000 PAIR OF MY UNDERWEAR!! [Buzzer dings. Somewhere
a dog barks]. Now let's meet the Jim Stafford to my Ben Murphy -
*Magic Voice*.
[Loud applause. Buzzer dings. Somewhere a dog barks]
MV: Thank you Tom Servo. Now, let us our contestants - First, she
maintains the higher functions board the ship - Gypsy!
GYPSY: Hello!
MV: Next, a temp worker and part-time guinea pig - Mike Nelson!
MIKE: Hi there.
MV: And finally, bon vivant and bot about town - Crow T. Robot
CROW: I'm different.
MIKE: You've already said that.
SERVO: Thank you, Magic Voice, and now let's see the categories for
round one.
MV: They are - "Girl, You'll Be Wyoming Soon"; "The Boxers or Briefs
Rebellion"; "This is Where the Fish *Really* Lives"; "Seven of
Nine, Half a Dozen of the Other"; and "Offer Void in Your Area".
SERVO: Contestants, you now have a chance to win up to 5000 pairs of
genuine Tom Servo Underwear. The toss-up questions are worth fif-
MIKE: [Buzzes in. Somewhere, a dog goes nuts] Um, Tom?
SERVO: Mr. Nelson, we haven't started the questions yet.
MIKE: I know, but I was just wondering - what about all the other prizes?
SERVO: There are no other prizes, Mr. Nelson.
CROW: Wha-?!? Hey, hold on there, Sparky! You said you'd hook me up
with a platinum-plated RAM chip dispenser if I won!
MIKE: You mentioned something to me about an all-expenses paid trip to
the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Photo Shoot
SERVO: I'm sorry, we're fresh out of those, but take heart, common
contestants - you can still win all *5000 Pairs of My Undies*!
[Buzzer dings. Somewhere a dog barks]
GYPSY: No director's edition "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" boxed set
collection?
CROW: No ultra-cool Software patches and upgrades?
MIKE: No romantic moonlight dinner with Emme and Rebecca Romijn?
SERVO: No, but -
CROW: Oh, the old "bait & switch", eh?!
SERVO: Now, wait, don't forget that you still have the opportunity to
Win Tom Servo's Undies! [Buzzer dings. Somewhere a dog is
frantic]
MIKE: I see, heh heh heh - GET HIM!!!
SERVO: Eeeep!
[Servo rushes off stage, followed by Mike, Crow & Gypsy. The light
begins to flash.]
MIKE: [rushing back on] We'll be right back.
[Mike hits commercial sign. Fade to the meatball as the buzzer dings
continuously. Somewhere, a dog barks insanely]
COMMERCIALS:
[Propecia, Annoying Long Distance, Psychics, Sliders and Jethro for Xerox]
[SOL - Mike, Gypsy and Crow have Tom cornered]
SERVO: [Still in Ben Stein mode] So you see, none of you were in any
danger of actually *winning* any of my underwear - I had it rigged
so you couldn't.
GYPSY: But what about the other prizes.
MIKE: Yeah, I mean, the other stuff sounded fabulous, so we decided we'd
just suffer through the undies part to get to it.
SERVO: So are you saying the lot of you consider my collection of
underwear unworthy of your pursuit?
CROW: *I'm* saying that unless we see something besides your "Home of
the Whopper" briefs pronto, I'll show you the *true* meaning of
futility-dot-com, bucko!
[Lights begin to flash]
MIKE: Wait, hold on, looks like our next category is "A Pearl and her
Minions are soon Evil"
[CASTLE FORRESTER - the interior is filled with water, waist deep. Pearl &
Observer, are thoroughly soaked, and standing in front of yet another
supposedly intimidating device. Observer has a shower cap over his brain.]
OBSERVER: I knew this was a terrible idea!
PEARL: It's *not* a terrible idea, it just needs a little fine tuning!
OBSERVER: I'm soaked, the entire castle smells like herring, and my
beautiful beautiful brain is in danger of developing chilblains!
PEARL: Y'know, for an omnipotent uber-being, you're the biggest feeb
I've ever - oh, hey Nelshmoe. Guess you're wondering about the
water, huh?
OBSERVER: Heaven knows *I* am!
PEARL: Can it, Space Ghost! See, I was watching some classic tube the
other night, when suddenly, it hit me! An inspiration, directly
from one of my personal heroes and role models!
[SOL]
MIKE: Princess Di?
CROW: Gloria Reubens?
GYPSY: Richard Basehardt?
SERVO: Bueller? Bueller?
[CF]
PEARL: No, you ninnies - my idol and old college professor, Simon
Bar Sinister!
[SOL]
MIKE: Um, you mean the sawed-off little villain from "Underdog"?
[CF]
PEARL: [Proudly] The same! See, Simon had this doohickey that let him
steal all the water in the world and stuff it into little glasses.
I figure if he can do it, I can, too - and I won't have no
stinking superhero come around and try to stop me! Muahaha-
OBSERVER: Of course, as you plainly see, the plan seems to have suffered
something of a setback.
PEARL: Hey, it's a *very* minor one, okay! See, I tried to nab the
Caspian Sea, but something went blooey, and it kind of overflowed
the glass a wee bit, and...
[Suddenly, Bobo, wearing a snorkel, rises from beneath the surface,
bearing what looks like a spigot connected to a hot plate]
BOBO: Here's your problem, Lawgiver - your aquatic compressor coil's
shot all to heck and gone.
PEARL: Well, let's replace it and get on with it!
BOBO: Well, it's not that simple. See, this is a model CC-204, the
"Catalina", but they stopped making those a few year back. All
the your current stock's gonna be the newer model SF-911, the
"Devilfish", which just won't fit the current remodulator. Gonna
have to back order this. Might take 3, 4 weeks to-
PEARL: [Grabs Bobo and yells into his snorkel] Listen, Bubba, you get
me my coil in an hour, or you sleep with the fishes - got it?!?
BOBO: Ooh ahh! You got it, Ms Lawgiver, ma'am! [backstrokes away]
PEARL: Well, we've got some time to kill, Nelson, so why don't I torture
you a little in the meantime? Your experiment today is so evil
even *I* don't like it! It's about how women in general are
responsible for the decline of civilization or some such crap, so
feel free to be as rough on it as it's gonna be on you! Brainster?
[Observer does the thing he does. As Pearl waves, a shark fin swims
between her and Observer]
PEARL: Hogan! My pet shark Hogan got loose!
OBSERVER: [a la "Devil Fish" guy] I KNOOOOOOOOW!!!!
PEARL: Oh, stop that!
[SOL]
[Lights flash]
ALL: YAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WE GOT NET.NUT SIGN!!!!
[Chaos, etc]
6... 5... 4... 3... 2... o
CROW: This one sounds rough!
SERVO: [Still in Ben Stein mode] Just use Relax-o-vision.
MIKE: Okay, enough with the Ben Stein ambience, Tom.
>Date: Sun, 10 Aug 1997 09:31:03 -0700 (PDT)
>Message-ID: <1997081016...@sirius.infonex.com>
SERVO: I guess this is *sirius* business, heh heh heh.
CROW: That's it - let's kill him now!
MIKE: No, wait, that's what he wants - make him stay here and read
this with us, instead.
SERVO: Drat!
>From: Mix <mixm...@remail.obscura.com>
SERVO: Yo yo yo, another phunky phresh phat phlavor phrom MC DJ
Grand Mixmaster Remail!
CROW: Still, it's pretty good graphics for a camera obscura.
>Comments: This message did not originate from the address above.
SERVO: It suddenly and mysteriously appeared out of the mist.
> It was
>remailed by an anonymous remailing service. If you have questions or
>complaints, please direct them to <compl...@remail.obscura.com>
MIKE: [feigns writing] Complaints... at... remail... obscura...
SERVO: *Dot* obscura.
MIKE: Dot obscura... dot com - got it.
>Subject: I Swear!
SERVO: [singing] By the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there!
> Everything on TV is Geared to Feminizing Males (29k)
MIKE: I thought everything on TV was geared towards making males look
stupid, violent, and/or immature.
>Newsgroups: alt.tv.saved-by-the-bell,
CROW: For all you "Screech" fans
> alt.tv.simpsons,
SERVO: D'OH!!!
> alt.tv.sitcom,
>alt.tv.talkshows.daytime,alt.tv.talkshows.late,
MIKE: alt.tv.talkshows.glut.surfeit.enough_already!
> alt.tv.x-files
CROW: The crap is in here.
>Mail-To-News-Contact: postm...@nym.alias.net
>Organization: mail...@nym.alias.net
>Lines: 628
CROW: Ouch!
MIKE: Just long enough to be completely irritating, but too short
to shrug off.
SERVO: Where does she *find* these things?!?
CROW: I dunno, but I vote we send Mike there to blow it up!
MIKE: Yeah, we - hey!!
>Status: N
CROW: Oh, it's so true!
>
>If you have ever wondered why we are living in a mixed-up,
>upside-down society, well, here is your answer!
MIKE: It because me am Bizarro Mike #1.
>
>Phil Donahue, when he had his TV talk show, would frequently
>ask, "What's this world coming to?"
SERVO: A point in space approximately 4.3 light-years from Promixa Centauri.
I mean - Duh!
>
>It's interesting to note that with the exception of Jerry
>Springer, Phil Donahue was the most feminized male personality
>on television.
CROW: Jerry Springer and Phil Donahue star in "The NEW Bosom Buddies",
the new hit comedy this fall... on the dubba-dubba-WB!
>
>What the world is coming to is one which is defined by FEMALE
>TRAITS!!
MIKE: Caring?
SERVO: Empathy?
CROW: Strapless Evening Gowns?
>
>That's right. What we are seeing is a world dominated by
>females calling the shots about the direction of society.
MIKE: Well, that's because the males won't stop and ask directions.
>
>Females are psychologically dominant while males are psycho-
>logically recessive.
CROW: At least according to the curriculum at Earl Ed's College
o'Humanities and Small Engine Repair.
>
>Females have been imposing their traits upon the males thereby
>feminizing the males! Bear in mind that feminization does not
>necessarily mean a change in
SERVO: Underwear!
MIKE: Still obsessive, are we?
SERVO: It's not an obsession, Mike - it's a mission!
> sexual orientation nor effeminate
>behavior, although it can involve these phenomena.
ALL: Doot-*doooo*-doot-doodoot!
> What it
>does always mean is the males' assuming the mentalities/person-
>alities of the females and subservience to females.
MIKE: Well, nice to know the world of the future will be populated
entirely by Tanya Hardings and RuPauls.
SERVO: All busily playing B&D games.
>
>My position is that feminism, the loss of control by males over
>their liberated females, the feminization of the males, and the
>abdication of gender sovereignty
CROW: Isn't "Abdication of Gender Sovereignty" one of those
obscure congressional powers in the Constitution, like
granting Letters of Marque and Reprisal?
> on the part of the males are
>responsible for each and every social problem which the United
>States is currently suffering.
MIKE: And to think it all started with J. Edgar Hoover and a
simple gingham-print sundress.
>
>The following included past USENET postings will offer illumination
>on the problem.
CROW: Let's all thank our host for his generous help.
[All do the Bronx Cheer®]
>
>
> *-*-* First included USENET posting starts here -*-*-
MIKE: Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here!
>
>There was a cover story carried by a major national news magazine,
>_Time_, I think, about a couple of years ago.
SERVO: Yeah I saw that - something about the government or something.
> The word, "LIES,"
>was as big and bold on the cover as it could be
CROW: Proving that even the media occasionally has to abide by
"truth in advertising" laws.
> with a picture of
>a face with far more expression than "The Screamer."
SERVO: The special "All-Gilbert Gottfried" issue.
> It reported
>that lies have taken over the U.S. as a major cultural aspect of
>our way of life.
MIKE: [Jon Lovitz] Not according to my wife, uhhhhh, Morgan Fairchild!
Yeah, that's the ticket!
>
>Why?
CROW: Marketing majors?
>
>Well, very simply stated, lying is a trait associated primarily
>with females,
MIKE: It is?
SERVO: Sure - every liar had a mother, and all the mothers were women,
therefore, lying is a female trait
> and since females are dominant psychologically and
>males are recessive, we find the males of this country taking on
>the mental/personality traits of the females,
CROW: Mainly in some of the kinkier portions of the alt.sex hierarchy
> this being a major,
>serious side effect of government enforced equality.
MIKE: Until now, we had no idea the 19th Amendment caused gender
dysphoria.
SERVO: To Susan B. Anthony, Thanks for Everything, Renee Richards!
>
>A simple situation is sales.
CROW & SERVO: Hired! He's Hired!
> If a saleswoman starts lying (and/or
>prostituting) to improve her sales performance, then this will
>give her a competitive edge in her field, albeit an underhanded one.
SERVO: Does the concept of trading sexual favors for Tupperware seem
ridiculous, or is it just me?
CROW: Actually, it's both.
SERVO: Grr-r-r-r-r-r!!!!!
>If a salesman wishes to continue to hold his own against the female
>competition, then he has to resort to similar underhanded tactics.
CROW: Though he generally looks pretty silly in stilettos and a
push-up bra
>
>One example of a common female lie is that the liberated female
>wants a strong man who is secure in his masculinity and who is
>accepting of the strong minded liberated female.
SERVO: I mean, c'mon - what woman would want *that*?!?
> Not so at all!
>What the liberated female wants is a pusillanimous male
CROW: Oh look, his thesaurus has "pusillanimous" in it, how nice.
SERVO: The only people who ever use that words like that are William
F. Buckley, Spiro Agnew, and Dr. Zachary Smith!
> who will
>be submissively subservient to the liberated female who wants to
>be free to call her own shots and his as well. She wants total
MIKE: ...as a part of this nutritious and feminist breakfast.
>freedom to remold him in her whacked-out notion of what she
>considers to be manliness.
MIKE: [Basso] So if I wear this cantaloupe-rind sports jacket and
paint my face neon blue, it'll make me seem more masculine?
CROW: [Falsetto] And don't forget the Packers helmet.
MIKE: Yes, dear.
>
>Another example is that females say that males are not accepting
>of brainy females. Not true! This is merely projection of the
>females' own mindset to the males.
MIKE: Yes, all women have the power to hypnotize any man at will.
SERVO: And tell them to SLEEEEEEEEP!!!
CROW: I knew that would happen!
> It is the female manager who
>is highly intolerant of having smarter, more capable male
>subordinates in her work group.
CROW: Ma'am, I don't think that thing on your PC is a coffee cup holder.
SERVO: [falsetto] Oh, a smarty-pants, huh? OUT!! OUT!!!!!
> She will rid the environment of
>these males at her earliest possible convenience because she is
>too threatened by them.
CROW: [falsetto] Yes, Jim, just go look in that open elevator shaft -
that's right, bend wa-a-a-ay over...
> Then, of course, the female manager will
>lie and slander to high heaven to cover her tracks and what she
>has done.
SERVO: [Tonto] Female Manager tracks- two, three days old.
>
>These days, with males taking on female attributes, it is becoming
MIKE: Confusing and dangerous to ask anyone on a date!
SERVO: Speaking from a little personal experience, eh, Mikey?
MIKE: Let's just say "The Crying Game" hit a little too close to home!
>a common practice to reject job applicants who score too highly on
>screening tests.
SERVO: I'm the best and the brightest!
MIKE: I'm sorry, we're looking for mediocre and slightly dimwitted.
> Then the lie offered is that the rejection is for
>the good of the applicant and employer alike because the applicant
>is too smart to feel challenged by a job for which he is over-
>qualified.
CROW: Yes, and how do you feel your Ph.D. will help you in this job, sir?
MIKE: I can make it into a paper hat to wear while flipping the Big Macs.
>
>Females, once they enter an environment, set out to feminize
>that environment.
SERVO: [falsetto] That tree would look just darling with some chintz
drapes! And tell the moose not to wear white after Labor Day!
> To repeat, females are psychologically dominant,
>and they will impose their traits on the males remolding them
>according to the females' whacked-out notion of manliness.
CROW: When exactly did "whacked-out" become an accepted psychological
term?
> What
>compounds the situation is that men seem to think that is manly
SERVO: To refuse to ask for directions, even though they're
looking for Glacier National Park and they just passed a
road sign reading "Amarillo, next 7 exits"!
>to defer to the "weaker sex" under any and all circumstances,
>and so the female gets her way in almost every situation. So
>many accommodations
MIKE: Provided by Omni Hotels International...
> and concessions
CROW: So the reason a medium cola and a popcorn at the movies costs
a week's salary is - women?
> to females are being made
>which never, ever should be made at all.
MIKE: In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to agree to the collars
and noserings.
> It is the male/female
>sexual dynamic of the situation that contributes to this thing
>because males naturally find themselves currying
SERVO: [Rocky Horror] I see you shiver, with anticip-
[Long pause]
> sexual favor
>from the female.
MIKE & CROW: SAY IT!!!!!!
SERVO: -paction!
>
>The U.S. is said to be the "me generation."
MIKE: Canada is the "them generation".
CROW: England is the "it generation".
SERVO: New Zealand is the "New Zealand doesn't need no stinking pronouns"
generation.
> There seems to be no
>sincere interest in the common good for all of society. People
>have become self-centered, egocentric. This is because these
>are female traits.
SERVO: Which explains the big delivery of pantyhose and Shocking
Pink lipstick to Donald Trump.
CROW: Well, to be fair, that *could* have been Marla's final
shopping spree.
SERVO: True.
> A highly illustrative example is Peggy
>Bundy, on "Married With Children."
CROW: Katey Sagal *is* Peg Bundy *as* Ayn Rand in "Buck Shrugged"!
> Sure she is a fictional
>character, but if you are attuned and pay close attention, you
>can relate her traits to real, live females, and these days, to
>real, live men as well!
MIKE: Yeah, the big thing with most guys these days is to pile on
the make-up and hit on flatulent footwear dealers.
SERVO: $20 says he goes after Murphy Brown now.
>
>Females are NOT team players.
MIKE: Lisa Leslie...
SERVO: Rebecca Lobo..
CROW: Sheryl Swopes...
> Females have a lower sense of
>fair play. Females are catty.
SERVO: Forget diamonds - a bowl of warm milk is a girl's best friend!
> Females are vicious. With
>females imposing their traits on society at large, is it any
>wonder why we see outbreaks of violence on baseball playing
>fields and hockey rinks among male players?
MIKE: As opposed to all the female hockey and baseball players?
> Failure to control
>emotion is most definitely a female trait!
SERVO: Gee, thanks, Surak.
>
>I can go on and on
CROW: And I have a feeling he will.
> about the negative consequences of how females
>are imposing many other adverse female traits on society at large,
>but in closing I would like to say...
MIKE: Something intelligent.
SERVO: I think he's sadly underqualified.
>
>In dealing with females outside of the non-household environment,
>you have two choices: 1.) you can become like them,
CROW: Which would mean a whole new wardrobe.
> or 2.) you
>can expel them.
MIKE: And eat alone for the rest of your life.
> Now we know why other cultures repress their
>females. They do so lest their males become feminized!
CROW: So ignorance, cruelty and superstition have nothing to do
with it - it's just a way to keep from having to wear
the poofy shirt.
>
> *-*-* First included USENET posting ends here -*-*-
SERVO: Unfortunately, "First" implies there's a "Second" somewhere.
>
>
> *-*-* Second included USENET posting starts here -*-*-
MIKE: Right again, Tom.
SERVO: Believe me, Mike, I've never been less happy to be right!
>
>Up to the mid-seventies, the U.S. auto makers used to redesign their
>models drastically every year inside and out,
MIKE: They did?
CROW: You don't know?
MIKE: Oh, please! Who can realistically tell the difference between a
'55 and a '56 Buick?
> but now they no longer
>do so.
SERVO: A collector could.
MIKE: Hey, on my Happy Temps salary, I couldn't even afford to collect
beer labels!
> One extra blatant example of carryover designs was the
>atrocious Cadillac instrument panel which graced those cars for
>thirteen model years straight (from '77 thru '89 inclusive).
CROW: Okay, putting the gas tank opening next to the cigarette lighter
didn't work out like they'd hoped, but still...
>
>The reason why Detroit no longer redesigns its car models every
>year is simple. It's because it has become too expensive to do
>so, but why?
SERVO: I bet it has something to do with women.
>
>I'll tell you why. It's because females
MIKE: Women.
CROW: Women, then?
SERVO: Yep, women, pretty much.
> have invaded yet another
>males' turf through government enforced equality, and, being true
>to form, the females sapped the energies out of the work groups and
>brought productivity to its knees.
CROW: Forget all that stuff about shoddy workmanship, overpaid
labor, incompetent management, greedy executives, and poor
gas mileage - Detroit lost its way thanks to women!
MIKE: Y'get the feeling someone's bitter because Caddies don't still
have tail fins?
>
>Now, don't go saying that you know males who are just as bad as
>females.
MIKE: But I *do* know males who are just as bad as females!
SERVO: Silence, naughty person!
> Females, as soon as they enter an environment, set out to
>feminize that environment, and females, being dominant, will impose
>their female traits on the more recessive males.
CROW: [falsetto] Now are you gonna wear pumps and "White Shoulders", or do
I haveta body-slam you again?
> Also, the only
>males who will be granted promotions in the corporate world are
SERVO: The beefy, good-looking, Chet Hugebig types.
MIKE: In other words, the same as always.
>the ones who are perceived to be lawsuit safe,
SERVO: All our tuna is lawsuit-safe.
CROW: No attorneys were killed by drift-nets.
> that is, politically
>correct. However, these males are not politically correct at
>all.
CROW: They're all Bill Maher!
MIKE: *There's* a frightening thought.
> What they really are, are so stupid that they don't know
>the differences between male and female or between black and white.
MIKE: [Costner] We're through the looking glass, gentlemen - black is
white, up is down, and men are women.
>Additionally, these males who are getting promoted are highly
>feminized males to begin with, meaning that they possess female
>mentalities/personality traits
SERVO: You mean homosexuality or effeminate behavior?
> (not necessarily homosexuality nor
>effeminate behavior).
SERVO: Oh. Okay, then.
>
>Let's face it: females will never be men.
CROW: [Newscaster] This just in: shocking scientific discovery reveals
females are not men!
MIKE: Thousands rage in the streets!
SERVO: Janet Reno calls for more research!
> What they do during the
>feminization process is to lower the performance standards of the
>group to their own level, and then they claim equality.
MIKE: Yes, women invented grading on the curve!
CROW: And men have been grading their curves ever since!
> Actually,
>they do more than this.
SERVO: [announcer] *Now* how much would you pay?
> They lower the work environment so low
MIKE: ["Mole Men" prof] It goes down, down, way down...
CROW: We've asked you not to do that, Mike.
>that only they can tolerate it, and they drive out capable males
>who really end up dropping out in disgust.
SERVO: So what happens to all these smart, capable males being driven
from the work force by the mean old nasty women?
MIKE: They go sit in the woods and beat drums.
>
>Plain and simply stated: females are threatened by capable males;
>female managers and colleagues will do everything in their power to
>put the squeeze on capable males
MIKE: [slams legs together] Ouch!
> and then replace those males with
>inferior dregs.
SERVO: [Nimoy, singing] Bitter Dregs!
> This is a bit confusing because females will, on
>occasion, employ capable males, but only when the females are new to
>their positions or when they are desperate to get over a critical
>hurdle.
MIKE: See, it's *just* like a woman to hire someone who can get the job
done!
> The female manager (or feminized male manager) will usually
>bring in outside male consultants who will be used sparingly and who
>will be quickly jettisoned
SERVO: [Astro] Ro long, Reorge!
> as soon as the manager is no longer
>desperate.
>
>It was not like this in the not-too-distant past!
CROW: Last Sunday, AD?
SERVO: I'm warnin' ya, porcupine...
>A lot of males may be a bit confused about these issues because
>they may not be in the right environment to properly observe what
>is going on.
SERVO: [Quietly] From our vantage point here in the jungle, we can
see the vicious bull female ruthlessly slaughtering her male
co-workers and feasting on their still-warm carcasses.
> In low level work, females, for the most part, seem to
>do OK. However, in higher level work, where decision making and
>politics come into play WATCH OUT!!!
ALL: YAAAAAHHH!!!! (duck down!)
MIKE: False alarm, guys.
> It's an entirely different
>story.
SERVO: [Basso] The story of the dawn of the third age of man...
MIKE: [Basso, British] The story of space - the final frontier...
CROW: [Basso] The story of a man named Brady...
>
>Here are some of the characteristics of the female modus operandi
SERVO: Sa-a-a-a-ay...
>in higher level work:
>
>1.) Females are always in need of ratification of self worth.
>They always need ego stroking, and they always have to overblow
CROW: Is there any comment to be made here that won't get us banned
on a dozen continents?
MIKE: No.
CROW: Okay - just checkin'.
>the importance of their assignments. However, in high level work
>females never seem to advance beyond trivialities. Then they milk
>these trivialities to death,
SERVO: Quinn Martin presents Elsie the Cow in a suspense masterpiece -
"Got Milked - TO DEATH?!?!?!"
> never allowing the work group to advance
>beyond these trivialities because to do so would be tantamount to
>pulling the rug out from under that which forms the basis for the
>female's ego ratification. Females are self-centered.
MIKE: Fortunately, men are all self-sacrificing and humble.
> In meetings
>they don't want to discuss issues that affect the whole group. No!
CROW: Yes! Maybe! Higher! Ummmmm, pass!!
>They turn it around and have the whole group bogged down on the
>individual female's problems instead of having those problems
>addressed outside the meeting.
SERVO: [Basso] Never mind our falling profit curve and those half-dozen
lawsuits, men - DeeDee has broken a fingernail!
>
>2.) Males are not naturally supposed to get alone with females.
CROW: They're supposed to get together with groups of them?
MIKE: Hey, that works for me!
CROW: Yeah, in your dreams, Nelson.
>They are supposed to dominate the females! However, in the mixed
>gender work environment, getting along really is unworkable, but
>feminized corporate management is forever
MIKE: Knight?
CROW: Frankie?
SERVO: Amber?
> forcing the situation.
>This, in and of itself, saps everyone's energies and brings down
>productivity AND, on a cumulative basis, the international
>competitiveness of the country.
CROW: [Newscaster] In financial news, the Treasury Department and the
FTC announced new regulations to combat the rising trade deficit
requiring all Fortune 500 companies to post signs at their
headquarters which read "NO GURLZ ALOUWED!"
>
>3.) Females are big on the usage of fancy productivity tools and
>seminars, classes and such.
SERVO: Geez, whatta buncha dizzy dames - imagine going to class to
learn how to do your job better!
> However, these things are merely
>crutches and devices of obfuscation for the low-productivity
>females and feminized males.
MIKE: Zig Ziglar's secret plan for world domination!
> In the past, these devises were not
>used and PRODUCTIVITY WAS HIGHER!
CROW: In the past, men wore big goofy-looking mustaches, and PRODUCTIVITY
WAS HIGHER!
SERVO: In the past, cholera was rampant, and PRODUCTIVITY WAS HIGHER!
MIKE: In the past, horse droppings were heaped on the streets of every
city, town, and village in the world, and PRODUCTIVITY WAS HIGHER!
> These devices are CRUTCHES!!
>Crutches help a cripple hobble along, but crutches impair the
>performance of very capable people.
CROW: But they're really cool to fence with!
>
>4.) Females are on a mad power tear, and will align themselves
>with anyone and anything that will give them a perceived quick
>power fix. What they won't do, however,
MIKE: [singing] Is they won't do that, no they won't do that!
SERVO: Gee, thanks, Mr. Loaf.
> is align themselves with
>high quality people. Females gravitate to that which is perceived
>to be inferior;
SERVO: Not to mention black holes and high density stellar formations.
> they gravitate to bad boys and losers in the
>romance department, too.
CROW: Ah.
MIKE: Suddenly, the picture gets a *lot* clearer!
>
>5.) Females allow office equipment to deteriorate and expect
>subordinates to use broken down equipment.
CROW: Which, if you're McGyver, isn't that big a problem.
>
>Do you know why female managers expect subordinates to work with
>broken down equipment?
MIKE: Because they're managers?
>
>It's because females have a higher tolerance for crap!
CROW: Which won't stop them from kicking this guy's butt across
several state lines!
>
>There was a story on the radio recently that White captives
>(Australians, I think) were put into Asian concentration camps
>during the war.
CROW: Tell me he's not gonna start in on race now, too!
SERVO: If this turns into "The Long March", I am *leaving*!
> The females had a much higher survival rate
>than the males who could not adapt so easily to the harsh
>conditions.
CROW: Um, so is this supposed to make men feel good about being men?
MIKE: If you have a really twisted and odd sense of what "good" is.
>
>So females are more adaptive to harsh conditions! So what?
SERVO: So they'll be crunchin' your bones long after you're
gone, pal!
MIKE: That's a little dark, don't you think?
SERVO: The truth isn't always pretty, Mike
>Is this a desirable trait? Hardly!!
CROW: Survival skills are just so femmey!
> After all, it's been said
>that rats and roaches will survive a nuclear war!
MIKE: On behalf of my gender, I'd like to apologize to everyone,
everywhere for this.
>
>Females were made to adapt to harsh conditions so that they
>would be able to face childbirth and child rearing,
SERVO: Well, let's see *you* put in six hours at a Pre-school -
*then* we'll talk "inferior sex", pal!
> but
>their adaptability is not an otherwise desirable trait
>because their adaptability inhibits the self-motivated impetus
>to improve things.
MIKE: Two words here - saddle blockers.
> Why should females bother to improve things
>when they can simply adapt?
CROW: Gender Darwinism?
> The females' response to broken
>down equipment is to simply work harder. If a plane is broken
>down, the females' will simply flap their arms.
SERVO: Paging Miss Absurdium, Miss Reducto Ad Absurdium!
>
>In a nutshell,
MIKE: Appropriately
> females work hard, but not smart. Males work
>smart but not hard.
MIKE: And some bots don't work at all.
CROW: What does that mean?
MIKE: When's the last time either of you touched a load pan bay?
SERVO: When's the last time you cleaned the fossilized toothpaste
off the sink?
MIKE: [Pause] Let's call it a draw and move on.
> Males possess inventiveness and
>dissatisfaction with their environment, and so they are out
>to take command of their environment and change it for the
>better.
SERVO: And what a fine job they've done, too.
> Females adapt and at the same time allow their
>environments to deteriorate. Then the females turn around to
>the males and scream, "You big babies!"
CROW: Look out! Here come the big people!
>
>Females' philosophy is that you should take things as they
>come, you have to take the bad with the good, you should go
>through life with blinders on, you should think positively,
>wear a stupid smile, and be happy no matter what.
SERVO: [singing] Always look on the bright side of life
[Mike & Crow whistle]
>
>Males' philosophy is that you should improve things!
>
>Females are dominant. Males are recessive.
MIKE: On the next "Geraldo"!
> Liberate the
>females and the males will be supplanted, swamped and feminized.
>Then your society will regress to the primitive.
ALL: [Grunt, a' la Tim Allen]
>
>
>Now, let us turn to the females' effect on the world of politics!
SERVO: [singing] Oh they were sufferin', until suffrage...
MIKE: [singing] Now a woman can vote no matter what age...
ALL: [singing] Yes the 19th Amendment struck down that restricted booth!
>
>Since women got the right to vote we have seen feminized politicians
>being voted into office.
CROW: For some reason, I'm getting the image of Lyndon Johnson
frolicking in a cheerful summer smock.
MIKE: You're a sick, sick bot, Crow.
> Now, the feminization of males does not
>necessarily involve shifting of sexual preferences nor effeminate
>mannerisms, although it can involve these phenomena.
CROW: He's stressing that just a little *too* much, I think.
SERVO: [Jock] Were you starin' at my area, Todd? C'mon don't do
that, yer creepin' me out!
CROW: [Shrilly] The girls made me do it!
> What it does
>always involve are males' assuming female mentalities/personalities
>and males' subservience to females.
MIKE: Smash the tyranny of the job jar!
>
>It never fails! Whenever females enter a males' realm, the first
>thing they set out to do is to feminize the environment.
SERVO: [dumb guy] So, like, my chick told me take down all my
Cindy Crawford posters and stuff!
MIKE: [ditto] Bummer, dude!
>
>In the case of the Legislative and Executive branches of government,
>females have left their mark by imposing the following traits:
>1. Lower standards due to everyone seeking accommodations and
> concessions.
>2. Uncontrolled spending.
CROW: Yeah, it was awful how all those women in the presidency and Congress
spent all that money!
>3. Gridlock with the stressing of trivialities while priorities
> can't be addressed because everyone is on a ego trip
SERVO: [Game Show announcer] To beautiful *CANCUN MEXICO*!!
ALL: [Cheers]
> for ratifi-
> cation of self-worth.
>4. Shifting loyalties or no loyalties at all.
MIKE: Remember the good old days when you bought politicians and they
*stayed* bought?
>5. Continuing along the lines of 4 above, we see self-centered
> selfishness as opposed to interest in the greater good.
CROW: The attack of the socialist chauvinists?
>6. Egalitarianism, but the females' rendition of egalitarianism is
> not one of equality at all but of the exaltation of the inferior.
SERVO: The Superior Inferiors?
> Another way of putting this is "political correctness."
CROW: Late nights on ABC, after "Nightline".
>7. Continuing along the lines of 6 above, we see incompetence
> because, again, females gravitate to that which is inferior.
>8. Saying one thing, meaning another, and then doing something
> very different.
CROW: I'm determined: you're stubborn: she's pushy!
>9. Mudslinging - cattiness and pettiness being female traits.
>10. A lower sense of fair play marked by dishonesty, lies, schemes,
> plots, cover-ups, etc.
MIKE: Wow! And none of this happened before women got the vote! Shocked!
Shocked am I!
>11. Decadence. Make no mistake about it! The female is much more
> decadent than the male;
CROW: If you're lucky, sure!
> we just did not know it when there were
> different social norms in effect and females were on a short leash.
SERVO: Somehow, I get the nagging suspicion he means that *literally*!
>12. And much, much more. (Further comments and contributions are
> invited here.)
CROW: Just as soon as he can make them up
>
>NOW BEAR IN MIND,
MIKE: THAT ALL CAPS MEANS I'M RIGHT!
> even if there is not a single female legislator
>currently seated, you will still see the female traits on the part
>of the males because the males always have to answer to and please
>the female constituency among the electorate!
SERVO: Interns, mostly.
> Further bear in mind
>that females are in the majority in this country, and when they
>are lumped in with the non-elite or so-called "downtrodden," then
>they are in the vast majority.
MIKE: Didn't he just complain that the *women* were the ones being
egalitarian a few paragraphs ago?
CROW: I'm superior: you're vain: she's egalitarian.
> And one more thing about females:
CROW: If you know any who are interested in movies, outdoor activities,
and net.kookery, have 'em give me a call, willya?
>you should NOT pay too much attention to what they say; you must
>pay attention to what they do, because what they do is infinitely
>more indicative of what females are all about!
SERVO: As opposed to males?
MIKE: Well, listening to what this guy says, I think I've got a pretty good
idea what *he's* all about.
>
>Now, notwithstanding the First Amendment right to freedom of the
>press,
CROW: I voided the Bill of Rights, and I'm a manlier man for it!
> we must eliminate female journalists,
SERVO: Yep, he's taking on Murphy Brown
MIKE: Shades of Dan Quayle!
CROW: Which really isn't fair to Quayle.
MIKE: And Danny-boy is a much more pleasant guy.
CROW: Just don't offer him any potatoe chips.
> because even if we
>eliminate the females' voting right, male politicians will still
>feel obligated to answer to and please the female journalists,
>and, because of this, they will still end up feminized.
SERVO: Katie Couric - cute, perky journalist or avatar of evil?
> Female
>journalists, like all females, are overaggressive, very invasive
>of male realms, very picky, snoopy, gossipy and vicious, and so
>if you want male politicians to be uninhibited
MIKE: Great. Just what we need: politicians whose sense of propriety has
been shrunk that extra hundredth-inch to oblivion.
> about doing what
>they should be doing to run this country correctly, then you are
>going to have to get rid of the female journalists out of necessity.
CROW: A little known fact: Woodward & Bernstein's real first names
are Carol Ann and Lisa Jo. It's true!
>
>Volumes can be written about why it is a bad idea to have the
>executive office of the President located
SERVO: Next to Monica Lewinski's apartment.
> in the White House where
>the mere proximity of government business to the First Lady is an
CROW: Absolute irritant to Slick.
>open invitation for her to go on a mad feeding frenzy for
SERVO: Any suspicious looking ties.
>power and influence AND an opportunity to
CROW: Screen all the interns personally.
MIKE: So do you think you two've covered every conceivable "White
House Intern Joke" known to man and bot at this point?
CROW: Possibly - we're still lookin' into it.
>feminize her own husband and *our* President!
MIKE: Forget assassins and crackpots: from now on, the Secret
Service must protect the President from cooties at all costs!
SERVO: Then they have to spill their guts to Ken Starr about it.
CROW: Um, apparently, we're still not done with that whole vein yet.
> Just about every problem with this country can be
>tracked right back to the opening of the White House.
MIKE: Ah, for the good old days of 1799!
>
>Conclusions: End equal employment opportunity and affirmative action
>for females, repeal the women's right to vote, repress females or the
>males of society will end up feminized and the country will revert to
>its primitive state.
SERVO: Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that the way things *were*
during society's "primitive state"?
>
> *-*-* Second included USENET posting ends here -*-*-
MIKE: [clutching head] Oh, man!
SERVO: Mike? You okay?
MIKE: I don't know, I - I'm a little dizzy.
CROW: Geez, Mike, you look really pale!!
MIKE: This thing's made me feel all-over funny.
SERVO: Well, let's get out of here, maybe it'll help
[All exit]
o... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6
[SOL BRIDGE - Tom is standing about, reading "Outrageous Acts and
Everyday Rebellions". Crow enters.]
SERVO: How's Nelson?
CROW: Oh, he's a little better, now that I put him down for a nap. I
think he just absorbed too much of that "whacked-out" stuff that
guy was spouting.
SERVO: Yeah, it kinda got to me, too. Did you give him an aspirin or
a Benadryl or something?
CROW: Well, the medicine chest is a little low since that flu scare last
month. All I could find was some - hey, whatcha reading?
SERVO: Gloria Steinem's book.
CROW: Oh. Hey, wasn't she a Playboy bunny for a while?
SERVO: Yeah, there was a TV movie about it with Kirstie Alley.
[Gypsy enters from stage right - backwards]
GYPSY: Um, g-g-guys?
CROW: Any pictures of Gloria in the bunny suit?
SERVO: Nope.
GYPSY: Tom? Crow?
CROW: Better yet, any pictures of Kirstie in the bunny suit?
SERVO: Nope.
GYPSY: Fellas?
CROW: Well, geez, what kinda penny-ante Playboy book is this, anyway?
SERVO: It's not a Playboy book, you clown! It's-
GYPSY: [Loudly] HEY, YOU TWO! Mike's coming this way.
CROW: Um, that's nice, Gypsy.
GYPSY: At least I - I *think* it's Mike.
SERVO: C'mon, Gyps, there's only one human on the ship, so it's gotta be-
MIKE: [off-stage, but not Mike's voice] Hey, guys!
SERVO: Nelson?
[The person who enters is Mike, but most definitely not the Mike we've come
to know and love. In fact, it's Bridget, who will be referred to as "Myke"
(except by the bots), in Mike's jumpsuit!]
MYKE: How's it going?
CROW: Muh-muh-
SERVO: MIKE?!?!?
MYKE: Yeah. What's wrong, you all look like you've seen a ghost or
something?
GYPSY: Um, Mike, do you feel all okay and stuff?
MYKE: Sure, Gypsy. I mean, I was a little woozy, but after that nap, I
popped a couple of frankfurters in the microwave, and now I feel
fine. Why, is something wrong?
CROW: Muh-muh-muh-
SERVO: Have you, oh, I dunno, looked in a mirror lately, Nelson?
MYKE: Hmmm, nope - why, do I have mustard on my face or something?
CROW: Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh...
SERVO: D'oh! Look, why - why don't you go check yourself real quick?
MYKE: Boy, you guys are sure acting funny today. [shrugs] Okay, hold on.
[walks off, whistling "I Feel Pretty"]
CROW: Muh-muh-muh-muh-
SERVO: Crow!! Snap out of it! What in the three faces of Eve did you
give him???!?!?!?
CROW: Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-
GYPSY: Why hasn't noticed yet?
SERVO: You know Mike, he wouldn't notice a plane crash right next to
him unless someone pointed it out!
GYPSY: I wonder how Mike'll take it.
[From offstage, a strangled cry is heard]
SERVO: My guess is, "not well".
CROW: Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-
[Mike rushes back in, torn between rage and panic]
MYKE: Crow, what was that medicine you gave me?
CROW: Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-
MYKE: [grabs Crow and shakes] CROW!!
CROW: I-I-I couldn't find any aspirin or anything, so I gave you some
old, broken-up Propecia tablets I found in Tom's chem lab.
MYKE: You mean that hair stuff with "certain sexual side effects"?!?
SERVO: Hey, wait a second, what were you doing in my lab?
CROW: Well, the door was unlocked, so I just -
SERVO: You know my lab is off-limits! Remember what happened with you
and that Bunsen Burner and the Liquid Hydrogen?
CROW: Oh, like that little "accident" of yours never happened!
SERVO: Look, anyone could get "Thallium" and "Thulium" mixed up!
MYKE: W-wait, I thought there weren't supposed to be any weird side
effects unless you were a pregnant woman, or something!
CROW: Maybe it was the pills plus something else.
SERVO: Maybe. I mean, who knows what they put in hot dogs these days?
GYPSY: It could be an interaction with that post you just read.
SERVO: I'll bet you're right! Nelson's weird Midwestern metabolism plus
Propecia plus that Testosterone overdose equals *whammo!* -
Instant Ranma factor!
GYPSY: Or, maybe it's just the weather.
CROW: Oh, c'mon, Gyps, how could the weather do it?
GYPSY: Um, low pressure fronts?
SERVO: It's gotta be something else, though, I mean-
[All three of the bots start arguing. Myke stands watching in despair. Finally...]
MYKE: Hey, you guys, I need some help - I'm bereft of my masculinity
here! When is this gonna wear off????
SERVO: Look, those pills John Robie here pilfered were supposed to be in the
experimental, there's no way to know! They could wear off in a
couple of hours, a few days, or - or, well, never!
MYKE: Oh, swell! What'm I supposed to do in the meantime? Other than
audition for the remake of "Goodbye Charlie", that is?!?
[longish pause]
CROW: Well, it's just a suggestion - but if you're still like this
when the weekend rolls around...
MYKE: Yeah?
CROW: Are you free for dinner Saturday night?
SERVO: WHAT?!?!?!?
MYKE: Well, I'll probably just nuke another frank or open a can of
Spaghetti-Os, I guess. Though for some reason, a salad and
baked chicken suddenly sounds good.
CROW: I can get us reservations at Chez Marcel.
MYKE: Really? Hey, I heard they've got a great lobster bisque and -
SERVO: NELSON!!!
MYKE: Huh?
SERVO: You *do* realize that *Crow* just asked you on a D-A-T-E?!?
MYKE: Oh, don't be silly, he wouldn't - um, that is - did you?
CROW: Oh, please! Me? Ask Mike for a date? Hahahahahahaha - yes.
MYKE: You've gotta be kidding me!
CROW: Well, c'mon, it's a legitimate question. I mean, you make a
really cute girl!
MYKE: That's completely beside the point! I - y'think?
CROW: Sure.
MYKE: Well, thanks, that's nice to- D'oh! No. Out of the question!
CROW: Oh, c'mon, think of it - a nice dinner, a couple of moonlight
waltzes, then, heh heh, back to my place to see my etchings, baby!
MYKE, SERVO, & GYPSY: Ewwwwwww!
SERVO: Crow, that's *Mike* you're propositioning!!!
CROW: So? It could be King Kong for all I care - I just want a cheap,
shallow, meaningless fling.
GYPSY: I feel ill.
MYKE: Forget it, Crow - I'm not that kind of a girl!
CROW: How do you know? You haven't been one long enough to see.
MYKE: Ick!
GYPSY: Come on, Mike, we'll go up to my room and have some nice
chamomile tea.
MYKE: Thanks, Gypsy, that sounds surprisingly nice.
[Both start to leave, but at the door, turn and look back]
MYKE & GYPSY: Hmph! *Boys!* [both leave]
CROW: Chicks. Go figure.
SERVO: You're pathetic, you know that?
CROW: Ah, you're just mad I asked first.
SERVO: ARRRRGGGHHHHH!! [storms off]
CROW: Hah! Sore loser! [Lights begin to blink] We'll be right back.
[muttering] Must be losing my touch.
[COMMERCIALS - A Dangerous Double Agent And A Master Of Disguise!, Ever
Wonder?, Brown Sugar! & You're Darn Right I Did, It Was Flame Broiled And
Delicious!]
TD
Bill Livingston wrote in message <6t04jb$dpq$1...@tsunami.traveller.com>...
<snip both venomous spewings and hilarious riffs>
If I hadn't been weak with uncontrollable laughter from one of the best
MiSTings I've ever seen, I would have been punching large, messy holes in
the drywall with my catty, petty fists. And kicking out plate glass windows
with my adaptive, low-productivity feet. And just possibly screaming at the
top of my lying, whacked-out, psychologically dominant lungs.
Goddamn us females all to heck and gone, anyway. When will we stop these
vicious attacks on men?
At the risk of tearing apart the very fabric of society...Bill Livingston, I
think I love you! (but only in a degrading, emasculating way, of course)
TD
Tracy Deuel
wrote:
<some really funny stuff snipped>
Bill, that was *fantastic*!
I'm not a big reader of MSTings, but now I shall have to unearth your
past efforts, after having read this.
Tracy
"Dada... why does it always have to be dada..."
-Matt "Pinwiz" Elcock
Opinions Herein are not those of Intel Corp.
Amanda Van Rhyn
>
> On 7 Sep 1998 08:13:31 GMT, bi...@Traveller.COM (Bill Livingston)
> wrote:
>
> <some really funny stuff snipped>
>
> Bill, that was *fantastic*!
Gotta agree here. *Fabulous* MiSTing, and you found a nice venemous
bile-spewing Death Post to riff at that. Nicely done.
Bryan Lambert
Yep. I'm not finished with it yet, but damn, Bill, you're good. Yet
another reason why "Livingston" and "Blackwell" are the two names I
look for anxiously in the "new" section of WS#9.
And it's also a textbook example of how to riff on something hated and
vile, without becoming hateful and vile yourself.
Bryan "Did I mention it kicked ass?" Lambert
<bryn...@minn.net>
RATMM's Official Biggest Wuss, Keeper: "Modern Space Ghost FAQ"
Daily fake news at The Messy Canvas, http://www1.minn.net/~bryncthy
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"How could we be lying, if we're on television?" - Olly
Bill Livingston
>Amanda Van Rhyn wrote:
>>Tracy Deuel wrote:
>>>
>>> On 7 Sep 1998 08:13:31 GMT, bi...@Traveller.COM (Bill Livingston)
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> <some really funny stuff snipped>
>>>
>>> Bill, that was *fantastic*!
>>
>>Gotta agree here. *Fabulous* MiSTing, and you found a nice venemous
>>bile-spewing Death Post to riff at that. Nicely done.
>
>Yep. I'm not finished with it yet, but damn, Bill, you're good. Yet
>another reason why "Livingston" and "Blackwell" are the two names I
>look for anxiously in the "new" section of WS#9.
Gosh, thanks, Bryan, Amanda, Tracy, and everybody who responded to this!
If yall aren't careful, you're all gonna give me the big head.
o/~ Who's that guy with the big head? Bighead! Bighead o/~ C'mon,
everybody!
>And it's also a textbook example of how to riff on something hated and
>vile, without becoming hateful and vile yourself.
That was the main thing I was trying to avoid - and why I held the dibs
on this thing for over a year! I'm sure glad I was able to make it work!
Bill L.
Whacked so far out, it's in, baby!
Servoid
>
> Previously on "Bob & Margaret", Bryan Lambert says...
> >Amanda Van Rhyn wrote:
> >>Tracy Deuel wrote:
> >>>
> >>> On 7 Sep 1998 08:13:31 GMT, bi...@Traveller.COM (Bill Livingston)
> >>> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> <some really funny stuff snipped>
> >>>
> >>> Bill, that was *fantastic*!
> >>
> >>Gotta agree here. *Fabulous* MiSTing, and you found a nice venemous
> >>bile-spewing Death Post to riff at that. Nicely done.
> >
> >Yep. I'm not finished with it yet, but damn, Bill, you're good. Yet
> >another reason why "Livingston" and "Blackwell" are the two names I
> >look for anxiously in the "new" section of WS#9.
>
> Gosh, thanks, Bryan, Amanda, Tracy, and everybody who responded to this!
> If yall aren't careful, you're all gonna give me the big head.
>
> o/~ Who's that guy with the big head? Bighead! Bighead o/~ C'mon,
> everybody!
I prefer the subdued, TS-in-the-background version from Fugitive Alien II.
But thanks.
> >And it's also a textbook example of how to riff on something hated and
> >vile, without becoming hateful and vile yourself.
>
> That was the main thing I was trying to avoid - and why I held the dibs
> on this thing for over a year! I'm sure glad I was able to make it work!
>
> Bill L.
> Whacked so far out, it's in, baby!
Just thought I'd add my praise to the pile. I have wanted for a while now to
try MSTing...unfortunately, creative writing is not my strongest suit. So I'll
just have to keep reading, I guess. Oops, this is depressing, when what I meant
to say was good job on the MiST!
--
Robert H. AKA Servoid -- OK, OK, o/~ Who's that guy with the big big head?
Bighead...bighead...bighead....BIGHEAD! YEAH! ~/o
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GNAT! (Gypsy Needs Air Time!) |
"That *wasn't* Sinbad." |
- Ep. 505, "Magic Voyage of Sinbad" |
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