MiSTed - Ratliff-a-Go-Go (3/3)
Bill Livingston
[6... 5... 4... 3... 2... O ...]
[Mike & the Bots enter]
MIKE: You guys are scary sometimes.
TOM: It's our job.
>Date: Sat, 12 Jul 1997 20:34:49 -0600
CROW: Umm, wouldn't "-0600" be, like, 6:00 PM the previous
evening
MIKE: Ratliff operates on Antimatter Daylight Savings Time
>From: srat...@runet.edu
ALL: Hi, Stephen!
>Subject: NEW Nothing Like A 1/1 TOS (showtune)
MIKE: Y'know, it's true - there's *nothing* like a 1/1 TOS
TOM: I'm not sure whether I should rejoice that there's no Kids'
Crew in this, or shudder at the word "showtune"
>Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
>Message-ID: <8687573...@dejanews.com>
>Organization: Deja News Usenet Posting Service
>X-Article-Creation-Date: Sun Jul 13 01:29:14 1997 GMT
TOM: He created this article Sunday morning, but posted it
Saturday night?
MIKE: See? Antimatter Daylight Savings Time!
CROW: Does that mean Steve's getting younger and younger?
TOM: He's a one-man kids' crew.
>X-Originating-IP-Addr: 137.45.10.104 (ruppp104.runet.edu)
>X-Http-User-Agent: Mozilla/3.01 (Win95; I)
TOM: Followed by "Win95 II: The Quickening", "Win95 III: The Quest
for Peace", and "Win95 IV: Jason Takes Redmond"
>X-Authenticated-Sender: srat...@runet.edu
>Lines: 180
>Status: N
>
>Title: There is Nothing Like A Dame
MIKE: Well, look on the bright side, guys - at least all the titles
were spelled correctly.
CROW: Cold comfort, Mike.
TOM: Beneath that veneer lies a horror so deep, so dark, so all-
pervasive that it can reach into a man's soul and sear the heart
from the bosom in one quick stroke!
MIKE: Feeling a bit dark today, are we?
TOM: Actually, I was looking for a way to work the word "bosom"
into the conversation.
MIKE: That would have been my second guess.
>Author: Stephen Ratliff (srat...@runet.edu)
TOM: Inventor of the world-famous "Speel CHekcur".
>Series: TOS
TOM: This fall on NBC, a hard hitting new series about the men and
women who fight to keep AOL free of profanity: TOS.
MIKE: And be sure to visit the "official" website on the Microsoft
Network, "MS-TOS".
>Rating: [G]
TOM: "G" for "Good Gravy, Now What?!?"
MIKE: Just like a Disney film.
CROW: So there'll be singing and animated sidekicks in it?
>Summary: "There is Nothing Like a Dame" from South Pacific added to
>"Trouble With Tribbles"
[Stunned silence]
TOM: Okay, "shudder" it is!
CROW: I WAS KIDDING! [breaks down sobbing] I was...just... kidding...
about... the... singing... [sobs]
MIKE: [pats Crow] It's okay, Crow.
>
>Disclaimer: Star Trek is oh holy Paramount's,
TOM: [singing] Oh, holy Paramount, your Trek franchise is slipping...
> which insists that we give
>our first born child to them,
TOM: I doubt Ratliff will have the opportunity to fulfill that one.
[Angered shouts can be heard outside the theater]
CROW: I think you annoyed the fan club with that one...
[Silhouettes carrying torches enter the theater]
TOM: I-I-I-I meant that he couldn't give them his first born because
he's, he's not a female!
[The silhouettes slowly leave the theater.]
TOM: Whew. That was close.
CROW: Keep that up and you'll be sitting on someone's desk, full of
Rainblo.
> but we won't fault them for that.
MIKE: Just for gross insensitivity and rampant greed.
> "Trouble with Tribbles" was written by David Gerrold, may we all
>have as much success.
MIKE: Unfortunately, Dave's changed his next book's title to "A Method for
Marrissa," so that success isn't assured.
TOM: That must have made him thousands of dollars!
CROW: *Hundreds* of thousands of dollars!
MIKE: One million, seven hundred seventy-one thousand, five hundred and
sixty one dollars!
TOM & CROW: Fa-a-a-an Boy! Fa-a-a-
MIKE: Ah, stuff it!
> "There is Nothing Like a Dame" is from Rodgers and Hammerstein's
>_South_Pacific_.
CROW: As opposed to Dharma & Greg's _South_Pacific_.
> The perversions of those works within are Stephen
>Ratliff's
MIKE: At least he's honest about it.
>
>Copyright 1997 Stephen Ratliff
CROW: Sorry, Tarantino, Ratliff got to it first!
>
>Permission to archive in the ASC Archive is granted. All others ask
>first.
TOM: The line forms back here.
>
>Author's Note:
> This idea has been floating around in my head since I started
MIKE: Hearing the voices.
>revising A Royal Wedding. I just had to wash this idea right out of my
>hair.
CROW: He's going to put every song title from that musical in this
story, isn't he?
TOM: At least he's not casting them in Grease.
> I mean no disrespect to Star Trek,
CROW: That's our job.
> David Gerrold, or Rodgers and
>Hammerstein, but this was just too good of an idea.
MIKE: This is, of course, an alternative, little used definition of the
word 'good'.
>
You'll note that
>several words are misspelled though out the piece
CROW: So, a typical day at Radford U, then?
MIKE: Yeah, pretty much.
> and the language used by
>Kirk and Spock is not what you'd usually expect from them.
TOM: It's an obscure Alsatian dialect of low German?
MIKE: Or maybe they sound like they're actually...Acting!
ALL: GASP!
> That's the
>effect of taking "There is Nothing Like a Dame" and giving it to them
>instead of the Sailors, Marines, and Soldiers who sing it in
>_South_Pacific_.
CROW: Oh no - if this is a musical, and it stars these two, that means -
then - then -
[All gulp]
> I particularly want to disassociate
TOM: My consciousness from my corporeal body and become one with the
wholeness of the universe! Dude!
> the spelling of
>perfume as puifume,
CROW: Um, would that be pronounced "piffume"?
TOM: "Pwefume"?
CROW: "Pooey-foom"?
TOM: "Piffle"?
> and the heavy use of ain't. Blame that on Rogers
TOM: Who went casual and left his "d" home today.
>and Hammerstien
MIKE: Hammerstein!
CROW: [Gene Wilder] That's "Hammerstien"!
> Now on with the show...
>
>Stephen Ratliff
TOM: Hi, my name's "Stephen", and I'll be your torturer for today.
>
>
>
>Commander Koloth in
CROW: "The Klingon Who Went Into a Fanfic and Came Out Beaten By
a Bunch of Kids!"
>
>There is Nothing Like A Dame
CROW: Isn't that "There ain't Nothing Like a dame?"
>
>Also Starring ...
TOM: Steve Buscemi
MIKE: Harry Dean Stanton
CROW: And Chief Sammy as "Zabu"!
>
> Captain James T. Kirk
TOM: Last seen entering the Nexus with a bottle of cheap Romulan
Ale and Kathryn Janeway's phone number.
MIKE: Hey, Kirk's billed second? This must be revenge for Star Trek V.
> Commander Spock
MIKE: In Search Of... a vocal coach.
>
>Co-Starring...
> Mister Lurry
CROW: With the fringe on top.
MIKE: Ouch!
> Krax and Mog, Klingon aides
ALL: Mog? Son of Nog?
CROW: Great, it's a DS9 crossover too.
> Yeoman Rand
CROW: And her amazing trained hairweave!
TOM: Wasn't she already gone by "Trouble with Tribbles"?
MIKE: Just because you didn't see her didn't mean she wasn't there.
TOM: Revisionist!
>
>Based on
MIKE: A short story by Joyce Carol Oates?
CROW: A script outline by Warren Oates?
TOM: A song by Daryl Hall & John Oates?
> Trouble with Tribbles by David Gerrold
> and "There is Nothing Like a Dame" From Rodgers and Hammerstein's
> _South_Pacific_
CROW: Did that just say what I thought it did?
MIKE: Yep.
CROW: Are we in Hell(TM), Mike?
MIKE: Yep.
>
>By Stephen Ratliff
CROW: So this is Stephen Ratliff's David Gerrold's Rodgers & Hammerstein's
"There is Nothing Like a Tribble"?
TOM: Or is it Steven Ratcliff's Rogers & Hammerstien's Davad Gerald's
"The Trouble with Dames"?
MIKE: Either way, it's still gotta be better than Francis Ford Coppola's
Bram Stoker's "Dracula".
>
>Captain's Log Stardate 4524.2
ALL: Hike!
>
>A Klingon warship is hovering only a hundred kilometers off Deep Space
>Station K-7 while its Captain waits in the station manager's office.
TOM: Come on. I know my keys are around here somewhere...
MIKE: Meanwhile, Worf and Odo sit in the bar, waiting for a time paradox.
>
>[Kirk and Spock enter to join Mister Lurry, Koloth and his two aides Korax
TOM: 20-Mule Team Korax?
>and Mog]
CROW: He's his own best friend!
>
>Koloth: My dear Captain Kirk,
MIKE: Yes, Koloth sweetie darling?
> let me assure you that my intentions are
>peaceful.
CROW: [Koloth] I only engage in non-violent sabotage.
> As I have explained to Mister Lurry, the purpose of my presence
>is to invoke
TOM: The Taft-Hartley Act.
> shore leave rights.
>
>Kirk: Shore Leave?
MIKE: Yeah, Shore Leave. Remember? You got chased around by Finnegan
and McCoy got offed by a knight?
>
>Koloth: Captain- Klingons are not as
CROW: Interesting as Rick Berman thinks they are.
> luxury minded as Eathers.
CROW: Eather-Or?
MIKE: Eather Bunny?
TOM: Eather Bonnet, with all the fringe upon it?
> We do not
>equip our ships with certain non-essentials.
MIKE: Like beds, toilets, basic cable...
TOM: They were hardy explorers.
CROW: "Hardy" in the sense of being dumber than dirt?
TOM: Pretty much.
>
>Korax: [begining to sing]
TOM: [singing] Oh Fab, I'm glad, there's lemon-freshened Korax in you!
> We got starlight on the bow
> We got moonlight to the port
MIKE: And Bud Lite in the fridge.
>
>Mog: We got bloodwine and living gagh
CROW: Gee, worm soufflé, how nice.
> You can pick us off the floor
MIKE: Or you can use new Miracle Didi 7! Gets stubborn Klingons off
the floor without picking, scratching or scraping.
>
>Korax: We got targ fights and daggers
CROW: [singing] ...and ships with dilithium, white gleaming canines and
warm woolen mittens...
> And lots of deadly games
TOM: [Klingon] You have landed on Marvin Gardens, and I have a hotel
there! Pay me, you *p'takh!*
MIKE: [Klingon] My honor is insulted! I will pay you nothing!
TOM: Then YOU AND YOUR THIMBLE MUST DIE!!
>
>Koloth: [Commanding Tone] What ain't we got.
TOM: A spell checker?
CROW: A sense of plot or pacing?
MIKE: A sense of the absurd?
TOM: [Singing] You ain't got rhythm! You ain't got music! You ain't got your
girl! Who could ask for anything less?
>
>Korax and Mog: We ain't got dames
>
>Mog: We get packages from home
ALL: EWW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W!!!!!
>
>Mister Lurry: We get movies we get shows
TOM: You too, huh?
MIKE: They should really just relax.
>
>Korax: We get speeches from our skipper
TOM: Alan Hale Jr. *IS* Kahless!
>
>[Koloth glares at Korax]
>
>Kirk:
CROW: NO-O-O-O-O!!!! SHATNER'S GONNA SING!!!!!
TOM: [sobbing] Somebody hold me, please!!!
MIKE: Oh, Stephen, I take back everything I ever said about Marrissa,
just please, please, *please* don't let him -
> And advice from High Command
ALL: ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
>[Kirk and Koloth share a grin]
TOM: Apparently because they're both into torture!!
>
>Mog: We get letters doused wit' puifume.
CROW: Oh - "Poifume".
TOM: So it's a misspelled misspelling, then.
MIKE: Let's not get *too* picky.
>
>Mister Lurry: We get dizzy from the smell.
MIKE: Oh, that's me. I had fried eggs for breakfast, sorry.
>
>Koloth: [Loudly] What don't we got?
MIKE: Rhythm?
TOM: Riches?
CROW: Ridges?
>
>Everyone but Spock: You know damn well.
TOM: [Singing] When you cast your spell, you'll get your -
MIKE: Now see, you're just encouraging them!
>
>Koloth: We have nothing to put on a clean white suit for.
TOM: Robert Palmer *is* Ray Walston *as* Koloth.
> What we nee
CROW: [Pythonian voice] We *are* the Klingons who say "Nee"!
> is what there ain't no substitute for.
>
>Everyone but Spock: [Spock is beginning to find the tune infectious]
TOM: Oh Lord, he's coming down with it, too!
MIKE: C'mon, Leonard, fight the urge to sing! Fight it!!
> There is nothin' like a dame
> Nothing in the world...
CROW: In this case, Sherman's Planet.
> There is nothin' you can name
> That is anything like a dame
MIKE: Well, silent E can change a dam, alakazam, into a dame.
CROW: Yeah, but my friend Sam? Stayed just the same.
>
> Nothin' else is built the same
> Nothin' in the world
CROW: [Singing] Wooorld, shut your mouth, shut your mouth...
> Has the soft and wavy frame
> Like the silhouette of a dame
TOM: So what's the Klingon word for 'dame'?
MIKE: *Zh'NokDor'Wegh'p'p'p'ZRAqDan*.
TOM: Could you spell that?
MIKE: Not even if my life depended on it!
>
>Spock: [To the surprise of everyone else]
MIKE: Not to mention the unadulterated horror of the listening audience.
> There is absolutely nothin' like the frame of a dame
TOM: [Spock] Bitter Dregs.
CROW: I had a feeling that would pop up sooner or later.
MIKE: At least it explains why Spock has "Stew Pot" scribbled on
his uniform shirt.
TOM: Yes, Nimoy and Shatner *both* singing - yet another sign of the
approaching apocalypse!
>
>[Yeoman Rand enters carrying a PADD.
TOM: [Rand] Captain, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?
> The Klingons whistle the melody.
>Kirk signs the PADD
CROW: Oh, he would!
> and she exits via another door]
>
>Koloth: That's one beautiful Dame. Wish I could see more of her.
CROW: Go to www.nudetrek.com. [The others stare at Crow.] What?
MIKE: I think I need to re-install Surf Watch on that computer
>
>Mister Lurry: She'll be back
TOM: Yeoman Rand will be back in "Where Have All the Captains
Gone?"!
>
>Koloth: Oh?
>
>Mister Lurry: That's the door to Storage.
ALL: D'OH!!!
>
>Kirk: So a dame ain't brite.
TOM: Or Tide, or Cheer, or Wisk, or...
> Or completely free of flaws
MIKE: [Singing] They met her in a club down in Romulus, where they drink
bloodwine, and it tasted just like Coca-Cola - C-o-l-a, cola...
>
>Korax: Or as faithful as a pet targ
TOM: Cause happiness is a warm pet targ.
>
>Mister Lurry: Or as kind as Santa Clause
BOTS: [singing] So Hooray for Santy Claus!
>
>Spock: It's a waste of time to worry
> Over things they have not
>
>Mog: Be thankful for ...
MIKE: Mel Brooks?
>
>Everyone:... The things they got
CROW: [singing] They've got leeeggggsss...
>
>[Yeoman Rand re-enters the room and exits the right door.
MIKE: Unfortunately, the right door lead to the *other* storage room.
BOTS: Waaah-waaah-waaah.
> Even Spock whistles the melody]
ALL: [Whistle the "Colonel Bogey March" from "Bridge on the River Kwai"]
>
>Everyone: There is nothin' that you can name
> That is anythin' like a dame
> There are no books like a dame
>
>Spock: That I can confirm
MIKE: [Spock] They're pure energy.
TOM: Why is he singing this? It hasn't been seven years since his last
pon farr, has it?
CROW: Maybe it's the spores.
MIKE: Maybe it's Mariette Hartley.
CROW: Maybe it's Jim Garner.
MIKE & TOM: Huh?!?
>
>Everyone: There no drinks like a dame
CROW: A Bloody Mary?
TOM: A Margarita?
MIKE: A Shirley Temple?
[Crow & Servo snicker]
>
>Koloth: Bloodwine come close
MIKE: Close to what? The edit?
BOTS: Tra-la-la.
>
>Everyone: And nothin' thinks like a dame
MIKE: [singing] Stuuupid girl...
BOTS: [singing] Ah, ah...
>
>Kirk: Or so Bones tells me.
TOM: [McCoy] Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a dame!
>
>Everyone: Nothing acts like a dame
ALL: Or Shatner!
>
>Koloth: My wife proves that every day
MIKE: Well, what have you done for her lately?
>
>Everyone: Or attracts like a dame.
TOM: Good heavens, Ms. Yakimoto! You're beautiful!
>
>Mister Lurry: At least to Captain Kirk
MIKE: Yep, a couple of verses of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", and
they're eating right out of his hand.
>
>Everyone: There ain't a thing wrong that's wrong with anyone here
> That can be cured by puttin' him near
TOM: Then why bother?
> A girly, womanly, female, feminine, dame
MIKE: So, to sum up - dames.
>
>-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
MIKE: Yes, your entire posting history, right there for everyone and
their dog to see!
TOM: It's over guys! [singing] I'll talk to ya later...
CROW: [singing] Don't wanna read that again tonight. [normal] Well, or
any night really.
TOM: C'mon, let's go.
[All leave]
[O... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...]
[SOL - The main area is bare, save for a single spotlight]
MAGIC VOICE: Ladies and gentlemen, the Satellite of Love is proud to
present a wonderful new musical. It's Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot,
Thomas Servo, and Ms. Gypsy in the Earth Vs Soup Production,
"Guys and Bots"!
[A Trumpet blares, and Mike, Crow & Servo enter, dressed in pinstripes and
matching fedoras]
[To the tune of "Fugue for Tinhorns" (aka "I Got the Horse Right Here")]
MIKE: I got the post right hyar,
And it's from Stevie R.
Which means Marrissa & her friends can't be far
Kids' Crew, Kids' Crew,
Telling the grown-ups what to do!
Kids' Crew, Kids' Crew,
We've been captured by the Kid's Crew
[Mike repeats under as Crow sings]
CROW: It's a piece of Spam
An out-and-out flim-flam
To meet ladies, sell real estate, or get more RAM
Fast Ca$h, Fast Ca$h,
They're promising you Fast Ca$h
If you want to lose your stash,
Fast Ca$h, Fast Ca$h!
[Mike & Crow repeat under as Servo sings]
TOM: Old Robert McElwaine,
He's coming back again,
He and his ilk will be driving us all insane!
We're doomed, and soon,
They're telling us all we're doomed
Unless, I guess,
We all go to Atlantis
TOM: McElwaine
CROW: Piece of Spam
MIKE: Stevie R.
ALL: We got the po-o-o-ost - right hyar!!
[Mike exits. Gypsy enters, wearing a similar, Gypsy-tailored get-up]
GYPSY: Hey, youse guys! Dem evil scientists are sending some morea dat bad
stuff, which ain't woith nothin', fer youse to watch!
[Long Pause]
GYPSY: AHEM! I said, Hey, youse guys! Dem evil scientists are sending some
morea dat bad stuff, which ain't woith nothin', fer youse to watch!
CROW: OH! Oh, um, Dat is too bad, Gypsy-girl! Now we has gotta tink of
some pithy remarks and rejoinders!
TOM: Yeah. What we needs is someone who can do da job, and do it quickly.
CROW TOM & GYPSY: But who can dat be?!?
[Mike returns]
MIKE: At yer soivice!
[To the tune of "The Oldest Established..."]
CROW TOM & GYPSY:
Why, it's good old reliable Michael,
Michael, Michael, Michael Nelson!
If you're looking for humor, he'll do what he should:
When the post or movie's really bad, he gets really good.
'Cause he's good old reliable Michael,
And he'll toss those lines from above
On the grandest, high-flying,
permanent, floating
Satellite of Love!
Riff those fanfics! Riff those flames!
MIKE: Gimme cheesy movies and I'll do the same!
ALL: It's the grandest, high-flying,
permanent, floating
Satellite of Lo-o-o-o-ove!
[Lights flash]
[D13]
DR.F: Okay, stow it, you Runyon Rings!
[SOL]
MIKE: Oh, c'mon! Gypsy hasn't had a chance to do her big number,
"I love Richard Basehart a Bushel and a Peck"!
[D13]
FRANK: Ah, siddown, yer rockin' the boat!
DR. F: Thank you, Nicely-Nicely. Well, Nelson Detroit, to my dismay, you
seem to have survived the Ratliff-go-round - this time! But I warn
you, this particular well runs deep and murky! By the time I'm
through subjecting you to his complete library, you'll all be
reduced to quivering blobs of goo, begging me for the mercy I don't
have, MUAHAHA-
[A bell chimes in the background]
FRANK: Hey, Dr. Forrester, I think we've got a delivery.
DR.F: Well, handle it, Frank, can't you see I'm in the middle of a maniacal
cackle here?
FRANK: Oh, okay. Sorry, Steve. [Frank wanders off]
DR.F: You just can't get good henchpeople these days! Now, where was I?
Oh, yes - MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
[SOL]
TOM: Say, Mike, that fedora is *you*!
MIKE: Y'think?
CROW: Sure - you've got the big square head for it!
MIKE: Thanks, I - HEY!! [bots giggle] Well, they're a little preoccupied,
so why don't you give us the info, Gyps?
GYPSY: Okee-dokee! *ahem* To join the MiSTing Authors Dibs List, send an
e-mail message to majo...@neylonpc.engin.umich.edu with the
message "subscribe dibslist [<your name>]" in the message body.
Be sure to read the MiSTing Guidelines, as described in the FAQ.
MIKE: [Brooklynese voice] Tanks, Adelaide, yer a right broad!
GYPSY: *Ahchoo!*
MIKE: Oh, say, whatever happened to Stephen's Fife and Drum Society?
CROW: Maybe they're hiding in Servo's room, waiting to ambush him from
behind his collection of skivvies, heh heh heh!
TOM: GYAHHH!!! [hides behind Mike] Nelson, you gotta protect me!
Those fanatics are gonna rip me useless limb from useless limb!
GYPSY: Oh, don't worry, Tom, I took care of them
TOM: Gypsy! You're a lifesaver! And a wintergreen one, at that!
CROW: I guess there really *is* nothing like a dame!
MIKE: What'd you do with them?
GYPSY: I sent them down the Umbilicus to the Evil Poopies!
TOM: [Scottish accent] Ah, where they'll be no tribble atall!
MIKE & CROW: Tom! Geez, Servo! Too obvious! Have a little decency! David
Gerrold's Lawyer's gonna... [They stalk out]
TOM: What?!? What? I was - c'mon!!
GYPSY: I liked it.
TOM: "No Tribble atall". Heh, I love coming up with original jokes like
that!
[D13 - The Ratliff Fan Club is dancing through Deep 13. Frank, in a spurt
of enthusiasm, has joined them]
RATLIFFIANS (& FRANK) [To the Tune of "Luck Be a Lady"]
Marrissa's triumphant tonight!
Marrissa's triumphant tonight!
Marrissa always bends luck to advance her own agenda!
Marrissa's triumphant! (Marrissa's triumphant!)
Marrissa's triumphant! (Marrissa's triumphant!)
Marrissa's triumphant - toni-i-i-i-i-ight!
[DR.F's Head pops up in front of the screen]
DR.F: NELSO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*FWOOOOSH!!!*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR ISABELLA; MOONDUSTED; THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A DAME: by Stephen Ratliff
MiSTING: by Bill Livingston & Matthew Blackwell (additional material by
Tom Currie)
MiSTING DIBS LIST MAINTAINED BY: Michael Neylon
COUGH DROPS: by Halls
BY THE SEA, BY THE SEA BY: The beautiful sea
MORTAL KOMBAT: Annihilation
THANKS: to MiSTies, MuSTies, the teachers of America, the Glenn Miller
Orchestra, the authors of all the amendments (except the 22nd), and Jif
peanut butter (creamy style - yum!).
Also, special thanks to:
* Roger M. Wilcox, for unwittingly providing a line for Moondusted.
* Tom Currie: For providing material for Dear Isabella.
* Kevin Gowen: For graciously bowing out of the MiSTing. Kai to the Great
Kevin! The third greatest Kevin of them all! We must all hail his generous
nature and his kind soul, as well as his rapier wit! HUZZAH! HUZZAH
TO THE GREAT KEVIN GOWEN!
* Stubby Kaye: Just for being Nicely-Nicely (we'll miss ya' Stubby!)
* And finally, to Mr. Stephen Ratliff for being such a tremendously good
sport about this whole deal!
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"Mystery Science Theater 3000" trademark of and © Best Brains, Inc.
But, of course, you already knew that.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes
only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by
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No personal insults to author(s), character(s), or situation(s) are or
should be implied. All characters in this work are fictional, and any
resemblance to actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Except for Stephen Ratliff, who is, of course, the embodiment of all
evil personified - not that this is necessarily a bad thing, mind you.
Remember, use only genuine "Interociter"® parts!
Keep circulating the posts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> If another Ambassador hits on me, I'm drawing a phaser on him.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
bi...@Traveller.COM http://www.hsv.tis.net/~bill
Best if Used by Date on Label
Roger M. Wilcox
>>From: srat...@runet.edu
>>Subject: NEW Nothing Like A 1/1 TOS (showtune)
[ snip ]
>>Korax: [begining to sing] We got starlight on the bow
>> We got moonlight to the port
I hope Stephen realizes that Richard Rodgers left a stipulation in his
will that no one be allowed to put parody lyrics to his music until
his music entered the Public Domain.
Roger M. "Then again, this piece doesn't actually write out the tune,
just the words, so I guess Ratliff is safe" Wilcox
--
Roger M. Wilcox (rog...@ix.netcom.com) -- without prejudice UCC 1-207
Unlawful to use this e-mail address for commercial solicitation: 47 USC 227
MSTie # 38808 | http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw ... now in EXTRA bold!
I'm sodium! <*> | "The Truth, as always, is more complicated than that"
David Van Domelen
In article <34ac1d71...@nntp.ix.netcom.com>,
Roger M. Wilcox <rog...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
[showtune snipped]
>I hope Stephen realizes that Richard Rodgers left a stipulation in his
>will that no one be allowed to put parody lyrics to his music until
>his music entered the Public Domain.
>
>Roger M. "Then again, this piece doesn't actually write out the tune,
> just the words, so I guess Ratliff is safe" Wilcox
And, by the time the Klingons in question actually sing the song,
Rodgers's work will have been public domain for some centuries. }->
Dave Van Domelen, notes that a clever composer could parodize the music
as well, altering it just enough to not be actionable but leaving it the same
enough to be recognizable...Animaniacs does that sort of thing all the time.
Roger M. Wilcox
On 1 Jan 1998 16:34:54 GMT, bi...@Traveller.COM (Bill Livingston) wrote:
>
>Also, special thanks to:
>* Roger M. Wilcox, for unwittingly providing a line for Moondusted.
Aw shucks! Which line?
(Roger pages through Bill's Ratliff's _Moondusted_, looking for
something he might have inspired)
(Roger finds a line)
Uh...
You mean that line about the Enterprise E firing quantum torpedoes
instead of photon torpedoes?
Oh, great.
Now I'll never live the "fanboy" label down.
Roger M. Wilcox, who could not believe his eyes when he saw that there
really was a www.nudetrek.com.
Matthew R Blackwell
>On 1 Jan 1998 16:34:54 GMT, bi...@Traveller.COM (Bill Livingston) wrote:
>>
>>Also, special thanks to:
>>* Roger M. Wilcox, for unwittingly providing a line for Moondusted.
>
>Aw shucks! Which line?
>
>(Roger pages through Bill's Ratliff's _Moondusted_, looking for
>something he might have inspired)
>
>(Roger finds a line)
>
>Uh...
>You mean that line about the Enterprise E firing quantum torpedoes
>instead of photon torpedoes?
>
Bingo.
>Oh, great.
>Now I'll never live the "fanboy" label down.
>
>
>Roger M. Wilcox, who could not believe his eyes when he saw that there
> really was a www.nudetrek.com.
Scary, isn't it?
Roger M. Wilcox
On 1 Jan 1998 19:36:40 -0500, dva...@pacific.mps.ohio-state.edu (David Van
Domelen) wrote:
>In article <34ac1d71...@nntp.ix.netcom.com>,
>Roger M. Wilcox <rog...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>[showtune snipped]
>>I hope Stephen realizes that Richard Rodgers left a stipulation in his
>>will that no one be allowed to put parody lyrics to his music until
>>his music entered the Public Domain.
>>
> Dave Van Domelen, notes that a clever composer could parodize the music
>as well, altering it just enough to not be actionable but leaving it the same
>enough to be recognizable...Animaniacs does that sort of thing all the time.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK-lahoma, where the anvils fall down from the sky!
Dan Siemens
David Van Domelen (dva...@pacific.mps.ohio-state.edu) wrote:
: Dave Van Domelen, notes that a clever composer could parodize the music
: as well, altering it just enough to not be actionable but leaving it the same
: enough to be recognizable...Animaniacs does that sort of thing all the time.
So does Weird Al (though I wonder if perhaps he gets permission from
the original artists, since his whole BUSINESS is basically to parody
other people's songs). You'll also see it on The Simpsons from time to
time. A couple of my favorites include "See My Vest" and "Monorail".
Dan "Delurking in this group for the first time in years" Siemens
Noah Singman
Dan Siemens wrote:
> So does Weird Al (though I wonder if perhaps he gets permission from
>the original artists, since his whole BUSINESS is basically to parody
>other people's songs). You'll also see it on The Simpsons from time to
>time. A couple of my favorites include "See My Vest" and "Monorail".
My understanding is that Weird Al does indeed get the legal permissions he
needs to do his parodies. That doesn't necessarily mean that his targets
all enjoy his work . . . but I sure do. :-)
>Dan "Delurking in this group for the first time in years" Siemens
Well, delurk more often, Dan!
Noah
MST#59539
The still, smooth RATMM sea begins to ripple, and suddenly - a lurker
delurks!
The Midnight Rambler
ja...@concentric.removeme.net wrote:
>
> In rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Noah Singman <sin...@idt.net> wrote:
> : Dan Siemens wrote:
> :> So does Weird Al (though I wonder if perhaps he gets permission from
> :>the original artists, since his whole BUSINESS is basically to parody
> :>other people's songs). You'll also see it on The Simpsons from time to
> :>time. A couple of my favorites include "See My Vest" and "Monorail".
>
> :>Dan "Delurking in this group for the first time in years" Siemens
>
> : Well, delurk more often, Dan!
>
> : delurks!
>
> Was this before or after Daddy gripped the wheel and stared alone into the
> distance?
Ow. That was like a humiliating kick in the crotch.
--
ROBERT "BIG ROB" FONTENOT a/k/a THE MIDNIGHT RAMBLER
Hedonist, Renaissance Man, Legendary World Figure
Beatles at the Mining Co - http://beatles.miningco.com
ExotiCon '98 - http://www.dervishdatasystems.com/whip/
WHIP Incorporated - http://home.earthlink.net/~rfontenot/
_________________________________________________________
"Bruce Lee ain't dead. They got him Kryptonized, frozen
hard as a carp, in a silo in Ohio. And they're gonna
thaw him out just as soon as the economy gets better."
-- Gary Busey as Del in "D.C. Cab"
ja...@concentric.removeme.net
In rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc Noah Singman <sin...@idt.net> wrote:
: Dan Siemens wrote:
:> So does Weird Al (though I wonder if perhaps he gets permission from
:>the original artists, since his whole BUSINESS is basically to parody
:>other people's songs). You'll also see it on The Simpsons from time to
:>time. A couple of my favorites include "See My Vest" and "Monorail".
: all enjoy his work . . . but I sure do. :-)
:>Dan "Delurking in this group for the first time in years" Siemens
: Well, delurk more often, Dan!
: The still, smooth RATMM sea begins to ripple, and suddenly - a lurker
: delurks!
Was this before or after Daddy gripped the wheel and stared alone into the
distance?
--
Jeffrey Johnson
ja...@concentric.removeme.net
Why, is that the family home looming in the headlights? Suddenly I've got
a headache