MiSTed: The Underground People (1/2)
Hekan Svensson
"The Underground People" (AKA Thread30) MiSTed by Hekan Svensson
Special thanks to Keith A. Pelletier <kpe...@snes.net> for proofreading
As always, comments are welcome.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Season 8 opening sequence. Cut to the interior of the SoL. Crow is
standing, facing the camera. The rest of the SoL crew are nowhere to be
seen.]
CROW: Hi! Welcome to the Satellite of Love! Normally it would be Mike who
says hello, but we have been invaded by aliens--again--so Mike is
kind of busy right now. Say, while Mike is away, I suppose I could...
MIKE: [off screen] Crow! See if you can give me a hand with this.
[Mike enters the screen, holding Tom Servo. Tom has an octopus-like alien
stuck to his dome. Mike is struggling to remove it.]
CROW: I guess I could, but my arms don't work well enough to do that.
Besides, Tom looks better with that thing on.
TOM: Oh, cram it, beakman!
MIKE: Come on, Crow. Give it a try.
CROW: All right, but only because I hate calimari.
[Crow joins Mike's efforts to dislodge Tom's parasite. However, not even
the combined forces of the two manage to free Tom. Right when they are
getting the alien to budge a little, the hexscreen flickers to life,
revealing Pearl.]
PEARL: Invaded by aliens again, eh? Considering your torture for the day,
that seems strangely appropriate.
[SoL]
MIKE: Not "The Arrival"!
CROW: Anything but "The Arrival"!
[Tom attempts to express the same sentiment, but the alien now has a
tentacle covering Tom's "mouth."]
[VW Bus]
PEARL: No, I'm feeling strangely kind today. I must remember to remedy that
soon. Until then, you're getting a post from the archive my moronic
son left behind. It's from someone called "John+-+Winston" or
something to that effect.
[SoL]
MIKE: AAAAAHH!
CROW: AAAAAHH!
[The alien emits a whimper not unlike that of a yelping puppy, takes off from
Tom's head and flees in terror.]
[VW Bus]
PEARL: I see you have encountered his posts before. Well, this post is even
more paranoid than his average. Enjoy.
[SoL. Lights are flashing, buzzers are buzzing... You know the drill.]
ALL: NOOOOOOOOOO!! WE'VE GOT USENET SIGN!
[6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1]
TOM: If I had known we were getting John_-_, I'd have kept the alien on.
> From: remce...@aol.com (Robert E. McElwaine)
TOM and CROW: AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
MIKE: You know this guy?
CROW: Let's just say we have made our acquaintances.
MIKE: So, this is gonna be bad?
CROW: [Jeremy Irons] You have *no* idea...
> Subject: The HOLLOW Earth!
MIKE: Yup. This *is* gonna be bad.
> Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors
MIKE: REALLY bad.
> Date: 1997/04/18
CROW: Robert McElwaine, provider of startling Usenet posts since 1993!
> Message-Id: <19970418063...@ladder01.news.aol.com>
TOM: Ladder, rinse, repeat.
> Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
> X-Admin: ne...@aol.com
MIKE: X-Wing: Luke Skywalker.
>
> The HOLLOW Earth!
MIKE: McElwaine... There's a hole in your mind.
CROW: Boo!
TOM: Mike, that was lame!
MIKE: Hey, it's not my fault that my author only gets the first season of
Babylon 5 where he lives!
>
> On January 6, 1967, the satellite ESSA-3, in very high
> polar orbit around the Earth,
TOM: Whatever this satellite is high on, I want some of it too!
> took a remarkable photograph,
> from straight above the North Polar area, showing a huge
> HOLE
MIKE: In the ozone layer. Think green - save the planet!
TOM: Should have thought about that before, I guess.
> , about 1400 MILES in diameter, centered where the North
> Pole should be!
CROW: No, no. *First* you take the lens cap off, *then* you take the
photo!
> The ESSA-7 satellite took an even better quality photo
> of this HOLE on November 23, 1968.
CROW: Even blacker than the first!
> Both photos were published in the book "Secret of the
> Ages--UFO's From Inside the Earth", by Brinsley Le Poer
> Trench, 1977.
TOM: Fortunately, no one ever published the book.
>
> In 1947, Admiral Richard E. Byrd flew
MIKE: Which was a very sensible thing for a Byrd to do.
> an airplane 1700
> miles into the North Polar ENTRANCE HOLE,
CROW: Well, it's not all that uncommon for planes to fly into the ground.
> where he saw
> forests, lakes, and herds of LIVE MAMMOTHS!
TOM: Don't touch the mammoths, they're charged with 220 volts!
> In 1956, he flew
> 2300 miles into the South Polar ENTRANCE HOLE
TOM: I don't know... Were there airplanes with that kind of range in the
fifties?
MIKE: Hush. You're ruining the suspension of disbelief.
> and saw the
> SAME kinds of things.
CROW: If I was nuts enough to fly a plane to the south pole, I'd probably
see mammoths too.
>
> The book "THE HOLLOW EARTH", by Dr. Raymond Bernard,
MIKE: I never trust guys with two first names.
> PH.D., quotes several statements made by Admiral Byrd before,
> during, and after these expeditions, including:
TOM: [stoner] "Whoaaa! That was one good trip, man!"
> "I'd like to see that land beyond the Pole. That area
> beyond the Pole is the center of the great unknown.",
CROW: So... The Earth is the great unknown?
TOM: Yeah, that makes sense.
> February 1947.
> "On January 13, members of the United States expedition
> accomplished a flight of 2700 miles from the base at McMurdo
> Sound
TOM: Green Day?
MIKE: No, that is nerd-o-sound.
> , which is 400 miles west of the South Pole, and
> penetrated
ALL: [Cover their eyes]
> a land extent of 2300 miles beyond the Pole.",
ALL: WHEW!
> January 13, 1956 radio transmission.
> "The present expedition has opened a vast new land.",
> March 13, 1956.
TOM: So, the hole in the earth was closed before Byrd flew there?
> "...that enchanted continent in the sky, land of
> everlasting mystery.", 1957.
CROW: Well, it's *obvious* that he's talking about a hollow planet here.
>
> In 1828, Jens and Olaf Jansen, a father and son team of
> Norwegian fishermen, sailed their fishing boat into the North
> Polar ENTRANCE HOLE,
CROW: How did they get their sailing boat through the ice that surrounds
the north pole?
MIKE: Don't think. That makes it easier.
> and spent two years living with the
> friendly giants who live down there.
TOM: Nnnnnnnggghh...
MIKE: Tom?
TOM: I'm okay. I nearly blew my bogometer there.
> Their experiences are
> described in the book "The Smoky God", (referring to the
> Earth's CENTRAL SUN)
MIKE: Great, now we're back to the geocentric universe.
> , by Willis George Emerson, 1908,
> reprinted in 1965 by Health Research, (a rare-book dealer,
> publisher, and republisher)
TOM: [game show announcer] ...who enjoys fishing and going for walks on
weekends...
> , 8349 Lafayette St., P.O. Box 70,
> Mokelumne Hill, CA 95245. Other editions of this book might
> be available elsewhere.
CROW: Trash bins, landfills, shredders...
>
> The Earth is HOLLOW!
MIKE: I haven't quite got your point. Can you please repeat it a few more
hundred times?
> Its hollow shell is about 1500
> miles thick at the equator, and about 500 miles thick near
> the polar ENTRANCE HOLES. The North Polar ENTRANCE HOLE is
> about 1400 miles in diameter and centered close to the
> Earth's axis of rotation, while the South Polar ENTRANCE HOLE
MIKE: Why is does this guy keep writing ENTRANCE HOLE in ALL CAPS?
CROW: Freudian. Definitely Freudian.
> is slightly smaller, perhaps 1300 miles in diameter, and
> somewhat off-center. The ENTRANCE HOLES are usually filled
> up with some kind of fog.
TOM: Do I have to mention that it would be hard for water vapor to exist
at the temperatures common on the poles?
MIKE: No.
> At the geometric center of the
> Earth is a glowing ball of plasma,
TOM: Do I have to mention that McElwaine has absolutely no clue about what
plasma really is?
MIKE: No.
> about 600 miles in
> diameter, which serves as the CENTRAL SUN that warms and
> illuminates the Earth's inner surface.
TOM: Do I have to mention that this "central sun" would break almost every
rule of physics in the book?
MIKE: No. Now pipe down.
> The HOLLOW Earth's
> shell also includes numerous HUGE ELECTRO-LUMINATED INHABITED
> CAVERNS like the one described in Jules Verne's 1864 novel
> "Journey to the Center of the Earth".
TOM: And because Jules Verne wrote about it, it MUST be true!
> (See also the book
> "The Under-People", by Eric Norman, 1969.)
MIKE: I'd rather not, thank you very much.
> These locations,
> including the Earth's inner surface, are home to 25 MILLION
> PEOPLE!
>
> The "Laws" of physics and gravitation NOTWITHSTANDING,
MIKE: People still continue to watch Voyager.
> People CAN and DO walk on the Earth's INNER surface, just as
> easily as on the outer surface. They might weigh less down
> there, but they are NOT weightless as orthodox physicists
> think they would be.
TOM: Wouldn't people actually weigh *more* as they got closer to the Earth's
center of mass?
MIKE: Yes, but don't tell McElwaine.
> For one thing, the HOLLOW Earth's shell
> is NEITHER uniformly thick NOR uniformly dense. In general,
> geophysicists are MIS-INTERPRETING their seismic data.
TOM: Those earthquakes and volcanoes are just friendly giants eating chilis.
>
>
> For more information, answers to your questions, etc.,
> please consult my CITED SOURCES.
CROW: What, no DOLLAR $ign$? I want my money back!
>
>
> UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
> IMPORTANT Information is
MIKE: A VERY bad idea.
> ENCOURAGED, ESPECIALLY to COMPUTER
> BULLETIN BOARDS.
TOM: Thumb tack it to your monitor.
>
> Robert E. McElwaine
> B.S.
ALL: We know!
> , Physics and Astronomy, UW-EC
TOM: Ewwww-yeeech!
> Path:news.datakom.su.se!
CROW: Not *another* one!
MIKE: Stick around. It can hardly be any worse than the last one.
TOM: Mike, last time you said that, Pearl sent us "Waterworld."
> news.kth.se!nntp.uio.no!newsfeeds.sol.net!
MIKE: Hey! We did NOT agree to letting this post through!
> newspump.sol.net!howland.erols.net!
TOM: whyland.erols.net!
CROW: whatland.erols.net!
MIKE: Second base!
> newsfeed.internetmci.com!news.wco.com!
CROW: Just what I suspected: this post passed through a WC.
> mlode.com!johnfwin
> From: "John F. Winston" <john...@mlode.com>
ALL: AAAAAAAAH!
> Newsgroups: alt.fan.john-winston,
ALL: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
> alt.consciousness,
CROW: I'll take "newsgroups that look odd for John_-_Winston to post to" for
300, Alex.
> alt.slack,alt.flame,
TOM: Finally posting to a relevant newsgroup, I see.
MIKE: I wouldn't bet on it. Most stuff over there is more intelligent than
a John_-_Winston post.
> talk.religion.newage,alt.society.neutopia,
CROW: A newsgroup for the heart, soul and planet.
> alt.alien.visitors,
> alt.ufo.reports,alt.fan.art-bell,alt.religion.shamanism,
TOM: Shaman you, John!
> sci.skeptic,
> alt.paranormal,alt.conspiracy,alt.religion.kibology,alt.alien.research
> Subject: Re: Thread30
CROW: What happened to threads 1 through 29?
MIKE and TOM: [glare angrily at Crow.]
CROW: I'm sorry I asked, OK?
> Date: Tue, 18 Feb 1997 17:11:14 -0800
> Organization: West Coast Online's News Server - Not responsible for content
TOM: Or even vaguely coherent posts.
> Lines: 63
MIKE: Who the hell would want to stand in line for a John_-_Winston post?
> Message-ID: <Pine.UW2.3.95.97021...@mlode.com>
> References: <Pine.UW2.3.95.961218152221.6578A-100000@mlode>
> <Pine.UW2.3.95.97012...@mlode.com> <Pine.UW
> <Pine.UW2.3.95.970206...@mlode.com>
> <5dd6k0$8...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>
> <Pine.UW2.3.95.970217...@mlode.com>
> <Pine.UW2.3.95.97021...@mlode.com>
CROW: It's a pine forest!
> NNTP-Posting-Host: mlode.com
> Mime-Version: 1.0
> Content-Type:
MIKE: Really stupid.
TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
> In-Reply-To: <Pine.UW2.3.95.97021...@mlode.com>
>
> Subject: The Underground People. Feb. 18, 1997.
TOM: Didn't we get this already?
MIKE: No, that was The *Mole* People.
>
> This talks about a mountain I have been around and have checked
> out in the desert where a Mr. Dorr found quite a bit of gold.
CROW: Which opened up a world of new opportunities for him! [pause]
See... Because he was Mr. Dorr and it "opened"...
> I was
> down in the area at the time looking for an underground city
> underneath a small town called Cima near Barstow, Calif.
MIKE: Zima?
BOTS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
> I think
> it had a population of 1 at the time I was there.
TOM: The population increased remarkably once John left, though.
>
> .....................................................................
> .....................................................................
MIKE: These posts just won't tear at the perforation.
>
> From: F L
> Subject: Dulce and other Underground Bases and Tunnels
> by William Hamilton III
TOM: Just think, there are two more of him out there.
>
> (Excerpt from Cosmic Top Secret by William H. Hamilton III)
MIKE: Directed by Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker.
>
> Underground Bases & Tunnels
>
> Does a strange world exist beneath our feet?
CROW: It used to, but then Mike showed some monkeys how to use a bomb
and...
MIKE: Hush.
> Strange legends have
> persisted for centuries about the mysterious cavern world and the
> equally strange beings who inhabit it.
TOM: Keep your lantern lit, there might be grues around.
>
> More UFOlogists have considered the possibility that UFOs may be
> emanating from subterranean bases,
MIKE: And dismissed it.
> that UFO aliens
TOM: So the aliens are unidentified flying objects?
CROW: WRESTLING... IN... SPACE!!
> have constructed
> these bases to carry out various missions involving Earth or humans.
CROW: Nah, I think they're examining the moon from their terran bases.
>
> Belief in a subterranean world has been handed down as myth, tale, or
> rumor
MIKE: ...although never as truth...
> down the generations from all over the world. Some of these
> stories date back to ancient times and tell tales
CROW: Sort of like John_-_, actually.
> of fantastic flora
> and fauna that can be found in the caverns of ancient races.
MIKE: So all you have to do is to find a cavern with ancient races, and
you'll find the fantastic flora and fauna as well.
> Socrates
> spoke of huge hollows within the Earth which are inhabited by man, and
> vast caverns which rivers flow.
TOM: Usually he did so after a few cups of wine.
>
> A legendary large cavern supposedly exists below Kokoweef Peak in
> southwestern California. Earl Dorr, a miner and prospector, followed
> clues given to him by Indians.
CROW: Now, why can't John_-_ get a clue?
> He entered Crystal Cave in the thirties
> and followed a passage down into Kokoweef Mountain until he attained a
> depth of about a mile.
TOM: He became a mile deep? Ewwwww!
MIME: Black holes will do that to you.
> There, he entered a large cavern which he
> proceeded to explore for a distance of eight miles. At the bottom of
> the cavern, a river flowed, rising and falling with the lunar tides,
> and depositing black sands rich in placer gold along its banks.
CROW: Well, banks are a good place to put gold.
> One
> day, crazed by fever, Dorr used dynamite to seal shut the entrance to
> his fabulous cavern, and started a legend that still lures men to seek
> the fabled wealth below Kokoweef.
MIKE: o/~ Down the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokoweef... o/~
>
> Nowhere is the belief in a subterranean world more prevalent than with
> the Indians of North America.
CROW: [announcer] There are those that believe that life *here* began down
*there*...
> The Hopis believed they emerged from a
> world below the earth through a tunnel at the base of the San
> Francisco peaks near Flagstaff.
TOM: The possibility that this is indeed the origin of Humankind must not
be overlooked.
MIKE: Tom, I think these posts are getting to you.
>
> There are also legends about mysterious Mount Shasta in northern
> California.
CROW: Thankfully, there are no such legends elsewhere in the world.
> The mountain is said to have housed a race of surviving
> Lemurians who
TOM: ...had neat black-and-white tails and were called Joey.
> built a sanctuary in the depths of the earth to escape
> the catastrophes which befell them. These Lumerians allied themselves
> with space travelers who built a saucer base inside the mountain.
MIKE: Must have been one huge coffee cup to go with that saucer.
CROW: Yeah, you need that for the all-night interstellar driving.
>
> Part 1.
TOM: Reader 0.
>
> John Winston. john...@mlode.com
>
> Subject: The Underground People. Part 2. Feb. 18, 1997.
>
> I'll put a mark (*) by each one of the areas mentioned that
> I have been on or near or have investigated personally.
CROW: Isn't marking out territory Yogi's job?
>
> ......................................................................
> .....................................................................
MIKE: Must be the fine print.
TOM: Mike, there's nothing fine about John_-_'s posts.
>
> Back on Earth, we have reports of equally suspicious parks.
CROW: Like Eurodisney.
> Anex-security
> officer, who once worked underground in the * Groom Lakearea of Nevada,
MIKE: He must have had a hard time holding his breath working underground
in a lake!
> said he once saw a baseball diamond and anOlympic-sized swimming pool in
> one of the caverns a mile below theNevada desert.
MIKE: I saw a baseball diamond once back when I was a temp.
CROW: For those that missed it, Mike just said he saw a baseball diamond
on a satellite in the middle of space.
> What's going on in the
> deep underground tunnels below Mercury Base atthe Nevada Test Site?
TOM: You tell me, you're the author!
> After
> hearing the story of Bob Lazar on KVEGradio,
MIKE: KVEG, guaranteed to play no Meatloaf on the air ever!
> a construction worker called
> Billy Goodman and Bob Lazar tosay,
TOM: Never do tosay what you can postpone until tosorrow.
> "We are the construction workers...we
> put things together andtake them apart...
CROW: This part is rather redundant, isn't it?
TOM: Yeah, and it's saying the same thing over and over again.
> of the meeting of seven people,
> there are two whowill
MIKE: Space... The final frontier.
> come forward to support you." This mysterious caller
> furthersaid, "There's more than just tunnels down there.
TOM: There's dirt, too!
> There's
> everythingyou can imagine down there.
CROW: Rocks, dirt, stones... Everything you think you will find in a tunnel.
> I know because we put it up. We
> installed.We did everything." Informants have mentioned underground
> tunnels and facilities in NewMexico at Dulce, Sunspot, *
MIKE: Perth, Australia.
> Datil, Corona,
TOM: "Sunspot" and now "Corona"? I thought these places were located on
Earth and not the sun!
> Taos Pueblo, and * Albuquerque;
MIKE: +Que?
> in Arizona in the Santa Catalina Mountains;
> in Colorado at Delta,Grand Mesa, and Colorado Springs; in California at *
> Needles, * EdwardsAFB, * Tehachapi
TOM: Gesundheit!
> Mountains, Ft. Irwin, Norton AFB, and
> Morongo Valley;in Nevada at Blue Diamond, *
CROW: Only one star? It was worth two and a half at least!
> Nellis AFB, * Groom Lake, and
> Papoose Lakeareas, Quartzite Mountain, and * Tonopah.
TOM: So John_-_ actually *visited* these places in search of aliens and
underground bases?
MIKE: Geez, And I thought trekkies had no life...
> I became interested
> in a possible underground installation in theTechachapi
TOM: Gesundheit!
CROW: Cut it out!
> Mountains in the
> summer of 1988. A young couple, Ray andNancy,
MIKE: I *knew* things wouldn't work out with Sid!
> reported that they had gone
> to a plateau in the mountains afterRay's shift work had completed at the
> Northrop Plant.
TOM: He finished watering the plant for the day.
> Ray wasinspector on the B-2 project.
CROW: Well, that's interesting, because... Huh?
> The plateau is
> adjacent to the perimeterof the leased Tejon Ranch where Northrop has
> built a secretunderground facility.
MIKE: It's so secret, even John_-_ knows about it!
> It was about one o'clock in the
> morning when Rayand Nancy spotted a brilliant orb coming out of the ground
> whichflashed light in their direction.
CROW: It's called the sun. It tends to do that in the mornings.
> They could not account
> fortwo-and-half hours of missing time.
TOM: Well, missing time does tend to imply that you don't know what's
happening.
MIKE: So how did they know that they had been missing it at all?
TOM: They used the kind of missing time that doesn't stop watches, like
they use on "The X-files".
MIKE: Oh. Okay.
> Ray thought that they had the
> orbunder observation for about an hour, yet the next memory is ofsunrise!
CROW: Well, I thought we had established that the orb and the sun risring
just *might* be linked...
> Under hypnosis, Ray recalls being abducted and taken to anunderground base
> populated by little grey EBEs
MIKE: Exceptionally Bizarre Emails?
TOM: Extremely Bad Entertainers?
CROW: Excessively Blathering Earthlings?
> and Air Force andsecurity personnel. The
> EBEs were examining Nancy who had beenrestrained on a metal table. Ray's
> emotions swelled under hypnoticrecall
TOM: Starring Arnoldschwarzenegger.
> of the incident. A local man claims
> he saw a flying saucer emerge and take-off from asilo on the property. A
> disgruntled
MIKE: Postal worker!
> contractor reported that he worked on constructing thetunnels
> in the underground area
CROW: As opposed to the tunnels in mid-air.
> and was bothered by the Air Forceprobes that were
> often seen hovering in the tunnels.
TOM: So, the Air Force is interested in flying planes through the tunnels?
> He describedthese probes as small
> orbs, and said that this facility was nicknamed"The ANTHILL" because of
> its resemblance to underground ant colonies.
TOM: Not more than a couple of feet deep, and useless for humans.
> The tunnels have round
> doorways without doors.
MIKE: Then, what's the point of a doorway?
> Adjacent to thedoorways are security panels with
> red and green lights. There are somekind of cylinders embedded in the
> doorway jams
CROW: It appears to be raspberry jam, sir.
TOM: [Rick Moranis] Only one man would dare to give me the raspberry!
ALL: LONE STAR!
> that protect a field ofenergy of some sort.
TOM: Could you please be a little more vague?
> Black
> helicopters have been sighted around Boynton and Secret Canyonnear *
MIKE: Alpha Centauri?
> Sedona, Arizona. A man living in Long Canyon has sighted a lot ofstrange
> things in the canyon areas,
TOM: Thank you. That's as vague as I like it.
> and residents suspect a secretgovernment
> installation has been established in, of all places, SecretMountain!
ALL: [Burst out laughing]
CROW: Man, these aliens really know how to keep things secret.
> One
> of my investigators hiked to Secret Canyon late onenight
TOM: Which was a pretty dumb thing to do, since he was going to invesitgate
Secret Mountain.
> and was stopped
> by a voice on a loudspeaker and alaser-targeting light on his chest.
TOM: Ooh! There are secret government facilities in Secret *Canyon* as well!
CROW: Shocking! I could never have guessed!
> He
> was told he had entered arestricted area and to turn around and leave.
TOM: I guess we could leave, too. Let's go.
> Part 2.
>
> John Winston. john...@mlode.com
[Mike and the bots exit the theater.]
[Interior, SoL. Crow is working on something, the others are off screen
until Mike enters.]
MIKE: Hi, Crow. What are you doing?
CROW: I can't tell you. It's secret.
MIKE: Come on, what it it?
CROW: It's secret. Go away!
MIKE: No, let me see!
[Mike nudges Crow away to get a look at the "secret." He sees that Crow has
been working on... absolutely nothing.]
MIKE: But there's nothing there!
CROW: Of course! How could it be secret if it could be seen?
MIKE: It's something invisible?
CROW: No, that would be too obvious. I mean, even you could think of that!
MIKE: What is it, then?
CROW: If I told you, it wouldn't be secret!
MIKE: Crow, there is nothing there, is there?
CROW: That's my point. Nothing is secret!
[Lights, buzzers, action! Tom runs on screen and follows the others towards
the theater.]
ALL: We've got USENET SIGN!
[Continued in part 2]
--
.-. _-~\ .-. \==/ | Sir Hekan Svensson -- EuroMiSTie #00001
( O ) |\ O \ (___) (oo) | Use _d95...@nada.kth.se_ instead of my
`-' /\\_-~ |v| () | hotmail address for a faster reply.
CAMBOT! GYPSY! TOM SERVO! CROOOOW!| (Okay, YOU try drawing Gypsy in 3 lines!)