MSTed: "A New Generation" [10/10] (Ratliff)

[Jamie Plummer]

> Chapter Nine
>
> Captain Marrissa Picard was sitting in her ready room
> when the call came in.

Mike: ... to Party Central: "Meeting of the green and simple,"
Crow: Try to tell us something we don't know, Mike.

> She had been taking a snack of strawberry
> shortcake with whipped cream on top. Doctor Johnson had had the
> hardest time getting her to eat properly at the beginning of her
> pregnancy. Marrissa was used

Tom: ... by Dr. Cecil Johnson for as mother #65 for his "experiments."

> to a breakfast of toast and strawberry
> juice, and an occasional glass of the same though out the day.

Crow: A glass of toast?

> It
> was only by introducing her to various strawberry desserts that
> the Doctor had been able to get her to eat enough. It remained to see if
> Marrissa would be able to return to her earlier figure after the baby was
> born.

Tom: Of course she will. She's been faking the whole pregnancy ever since she
had the miscarriage back in Paris after Stephano had kidnapped
Marlena.
Mike: I think that's Kristen Blake, Tom.
Tom: Whatever. Remember back when everyone thought Jay Gordon was Roman
Brady?

> "Bridge to Captain Picard," Alexander's voice hailed.
> "Picard here," Marrissa

Crow: ... sleeted.

> replied.
> "Incoming communication from the Commanding Admiral, Star
> Fleet;" Lieutenant Commander Rozhenko responded.
> "Patch it in here,"

Tom: Patch has returned to Salem. Can Kayla be far behind?
Mike: Enough, Tom.

> Marrissa answered, turning the desk view
> screen toward her. Her father appeared on it. "Admiral Dad."

Crow: I heard you were traveling the American countryside with your family in
your trailer, righting wrongs. How's that going?
Tom: Even *we*'re beating Roseanne.

> His face went into a momentary grimace

Mike: ... and his chest went into a momentary Mayor McCheese.

> before Jean-Luc
> Picard replied, "Marrissa, I must compliment you on your victory.

Crow: That's a good thing you done, Marrissa. I'm glad you sang "Fish Heads,"
Marrissa.

> The Admiralty is most impressed."

Mike: Didn't they stop that after the War of 1812 or something?

> He referred to the rest of Star
> Fleet Command in that manner. Never would he include himself under
> that name.

Tom: Don't talk about my admiralty, Martha.

> "Thank you, Admiral, I was merely following orders," Marrissa
> replied.
> "True, but not many could have pulled those orders off," the
> Fleet Admiral responded.

Crow: "Only you have the bloodlust, Marrissa."

> "But on to why I called you. As of this
> Stardate you are promoted to Rear Admiral and placed in command of
> the First Fleet. A full listing of that fleet follows.

Mike: A full pantsing follows that.

> You remain
> in command of the Enterprise as well, but I expect you to provide
> me with a list of the replacements for your maternity leave."

Crow: "I can't wait to meet my new daughter."

> "Aye, aye, sir," Marrissa affirmed.

Tom: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people fear me."

> "I have a couple interim orders," Jean-Luc Picard stated.
> "Your fleet will be patrolling the border

Mike: Cheech Marin is going to tell you he was born in East L.A. Don't believe
him.

> until full assembly. Rear
> Admiral Riker will be picked up by the Nova which will be

Tom: ... full of pledge breaks. It's that time of the year again.

> his
> command ship for his Second Fleet. Commander Worf is to be sent
> to Earth aboard the Pasteur to pick up his Captaincy and

Crow: ... a quart of milk.

> command of
> the USS Chelsea Clinton.

Mike: The USS Lynda Bird has been *Robb*ed.

> That is all. Do you have anything else to
> report?"
> "No sir," Rear Admiral Marrissa Picard responded. "I look
> forward to reading the headlines."

Tom: Doesn't anyone read the stories anymore?

> "That reminds me, Marrissa," her father began. "That
> headline you predicted never occurred."

Crow: And real people do indeed speak in this manner.

> "Oh really?" Marrissa inquired.
> "They found something better: Fleet Admiral Gives Flagship
> as Birthday Present," he concluded. "Star Fleet out."
> Marrissa pondered the events, her new promotion and her
> new command.

Crow: Marrissa pondered her new plan... to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

> She knew that commanding a fleet of some sort was

Tom: ... some kind of icky military thingie or other.

> unavoidable with her experience. The promotion was something of
> a shock. Here she was, a Captain of five years,

Mike: She had too much of that "Dark Marrissa" formula...

> less than a quarter
> up the list on seniority.

Crow: Marrissa is also Queen of the AARP.

> By all rights she should have almost a
> decade of experience before she got promoted. But then again

Mike: ... this is a Ratliff story.

> that
> position on the seniority list might have something to with it. With
> less than a quarter of all the Captains ranked below her, promoting
> her in order so that she could be placed in command of a fleet made
> some sense.

Tom: Uh-huh. And GE made ice cream cones.

> Her doorbell rang. "Come," Marrissa ordered. Lieutenant
> Commander Katherine Lockard entered. Her face was tear-stained.
> "What can I do for you Commander?"

Crow: "Could I Minwax your face?"

> "I have two matters," Lockard said. "First, one of my fighter
> pilots picked up a piece of the Enterprise-E's remains that she
> thought might be of some use to you, the dedication plaque."

Mike: "I had heard you wanted to use it as a chamber pot."

> "Have her give it to Rear Admiral Riker, and thank her
> for me," Admiral Picard stated. "And what was the pilot's name?"
> "Lieutenant Jess Gordon," Katherine replied.
> "Jessica Beatrice

Tom: Beatrice is a proud sponsor of the 1984 Summer Olympics.

> Gordon?" Marrissa asked. Commander
> Lockard nodded in return. "I had no idea my sister-in-law was on
> board." Then Marrissa grinned and continued, "have her report to me
> after she is done for the day for a little 'reprimand.'

Crow: Marrissa likes to keep it in the family.

> And
> your second matter?"
> "My husband died on board the Romulan Starbase," Katherine
> said sadly. "I'd like it if you said the eulogy."

Tom [Marrissa]: "Actually, that was 'Lochard' with an 'h.' Your husband is
fine. He's serving as one of my eunuchs."

> "I'd be honored," Admiral Marrissa Picard replied formally.

Mike: He's an exquisite dead guy, you know.

> "Inform me of the time you wish to hold the funeral. Now, If you'll
> excuse me, I have lots of paperwork to attend to and you have the
> next two days off."

Tom: "There's no crying in Starfleet!"

> "Aye, Captain," Katherine Lockard said, turning and
> exiting the ready room.
>
> Later that evening, Marrissa was relaxing with her husband
> Jay in her quarters.

Crow: Sounds painful to me...

> Her sister Jacqueline, whom Marrissa had decide
> to have lodged with her, was sitting at the terminal across the room
> puzzling over some anomaly.

Mike: Jacqueline is preparing to serve on Voyager some day.

> It was a pleasant evening, a thing that
> they knew would be rare during this war that they were in.

Crow: "This War That They Were In" didn't quite catch on, so the PR people
decided to go ahead with the "Romulan Desolation" concept instead.

> Marrissa
> had yet to inform Jay of his sister's presence aboard ship. The door
> rang. "Who could that be," Jay mused.

Tom: Calliope?
Crow: Terpsichore?
Mike: Erato?

> "Come," Marrissa ordered, knowingly.
> A sixteen year-old blond woman in flight uniform with
> Lieutenant junior grade pips entered. "Reporting as ordered,
> Captain," she commented.

Tom: It's Al Hunt at a White House briefing!

> "You are late Lieutenant and it's Rear Admiral," Marrissa
> said with practiced sternness. Then lightening she continued,

Crow: "I am Zeus, king of the Gods. Your tardiness displeases me. Eat hot fire
bolts from the sky."

> "but
> then again I've never been that strict with family and friends and
> rank."

Mike: AS long as they know she's in charge, anyway.

> Jay was sitting beside his wife, rather quietly.

Tom: "Can I speak, Mistress Marri--"
Crow: "You will speak when spoken to, slave!"

> He hadn't
> expected his sister Jessica. He really should have looked at the
> full crew list more closely. He knew that Jess had been selected

Mike: ... as the new FAQ person.
Tom: I thought he was working for the Antitrust Division at DOJ.
Crow: You're both wrong. He's the new librarian at Phillips Exeter.

> for fighter training and been chosen as her wing's commander. But
> she wasn't

Mike: ... Mark Hamill quite yet.

> due to graduate from the Fighter Academy on Essex for
> another two months. Apparently, he mused, they had sped up the
> class.

Mike: They?
Tom: Yeah, you know. Clio, Thalia, Meldomene.
Crow: Euterpe, Polyhymnia, Sleepy, Doc.
Tom: Eric, Sami, Belle.
Mike: Enough, Tom.

> He turned his attention back to the conversation.
> "So when they said they needed two divisions of fighters
> for the Enterprise, I was hoping they'd chose my wing to be a part
> of them," Jessica was saying.

Crow: And then, he turned his attention away from the conversation.

> "Of course so was the rest of the
> academy.

Tom: After those friendly fire incidents, they wanted us as far away as
possible.

> Fortunately Gordon comes early in the alphabet. They had
> us ship out right after the

Tom: ... Jell-O incident.

> announcement of who was going. I didn't
> even have time to pack

Crow: ... the bowl very tightly.

> . I left orders to have my belongings sent to
> your palace, Marrissa. I hope that's okay."

Mike: So. Let's review the action.

> "Perfectly," Marrissa interjected.

Tom: Um, first the Enterprise blew up.

> "One thing I want to know, Jess," Jay asked. "What took you
> so long to stop by?"

Crow: And then there was another Enterprise...

> "I was given five minutes to drop my things in my quarters,"
> Lieutenant Jessica Gordon began. "Then there was the ceremony for

Mike: Yeah, and then there was, um, Romulans.

> the change of command. After that Commander Lochard put us to work,

Crow: And Laxwana Troi married Al Gore...

> drilling us on just about everything. Last night I just fell right

Tom: Yeah, and the Romulans were destroying a ship every third Sunday, but the
Federation kept it quiet.

> to sleep. Then this morning's battle and its aftermath. If it

Crow: And some stuff blew up, the Enterprise turned into a cat.

> weren't for Marrissa's orders for me to report after duty, I'd
> probably be doing that training exercise on the Holodeck now."

Tom: Oh, don't forget the Romulan Marrissa.

> "No that's just for the second division," Marrissa commented.
> "Of course you'll probably be doing it tomorrow."

Mike: And one of the nondescript Kids' Crew people died.

> "Now if I just knew who my new squadron leader was I'd be
> doing fine," Katherine concluded. "Poor old Berthold, first battle
> and second in his class and he's dead."

Tom: Okay. But who or what is "A New Generation?"
Crow: What with all the excitemnet and action, Ratliff must have forgotten
that part.
Mike: Well, maybe something will happen. Let's watch.

> "I use to be able to say I knew every one under my command,"
> Marrissa mused

Mike: I think Ratliff has found a new word.

> darkly. "But with over two thousand aboard and
> thirty-nine other ships under my command, It's just not possible
> any more."
> "Hey, you just won a battle, 'Rissa, no dreariness allowed,"

Tom: Death is fun!

> Jackie said, having joined the group, after shelving the computer
> problem for the moment.

Mike: She can't figure out the win95 upgrades, either.

> "Yeah, Marrissa, now what do you think Shayna will look like
> in the new green security uniform?" Jay asked.

Crow: She's in charge of mad science now?

> Starfleet had order a
> uniform change making the insert in security officer's uniforms
> green,

Tom: Oh, I hate those inserts.
Crow: They just fall out and leave a huge messy pile at all the paper's
distribution points.
Mike: Hey, the advertisers seem to like them.

> instead of the yellow they had long shared with Engineering.
> Shayna had long been avoiding the change, but tomorrow was the last
> day in the window

Tom: o/~ How much is that Shayna in the window? o/~
Crow: o/~ The one with the Shachedy tail? o/~

> and she must show up in it.
> "Judging from the dress she wore to my wedding, pretty good,"
> Marrissa stated.

Mike: That would be the bridesmaid dress you ordered her to wear, Marrissa.

> "Wait a minute, Marrissa," Jackie interrupted. "As Computer
> Security Officer, I'm in both Engineering and Security. What do I wear?"

Tom: Patent leather.

> "Dual departmentation, I don't think I've encountered that
> before," Jessica commented.

Crow: Sounds kinky, though.

> "As I understand the regulation, you get to chose depending
> on which one you feel you deal with more," Marrissa stated.

Mike: It's a kinder, gentler, Starfleet.

> "I'd chose the security one if I were you, Jackie," Jay said.
> "Don't listen to him, Jacqueline," Jessica returned. "He
> always chooses the green outfit."

Crow: And he looks faaa-bu-lous!

> "Oh so that's why Marrissa has been showing up in green so
> much," Jackie replied.
> "Hum, it sounds like I better make sure the green ones aren't
> an option," Marrissa said.

Tom: Ratliff, end this. Please!

Tom: It hurts. Oh, it hurts.

> "If it's something that Bookworm Jack

Crow: o/~... Through the soil he did crawl! o/~
Mike: o/~ Bookworm Jack! A super suit did fall! o/~

> noticed, I've been doing it too much."
> "Mar-ris-sa, you promised not to call me that," Jackie replied.
> "Oh, that's right. Only Nick can get away with

Mike: Putting Linda "Maxwell House" Ellerbee on TV again.

> calling you
> Jack," Marrissa said as the conversation moved away from duty.

Crow: ... to love.

>
> Epilogue
>

Tom: It's the Untouchable Fugtive Invader Cannon of San Francisco!

> The first battle in the war was a success for the Federation,
> thanks to Captain Picard's tactical expeirance.

Tom: She spent years at Starfleet Academy studying Braille.
Mike: Tom, that's *tactile* experience.
Tom: Oops.

> While the Federation
> would eventally win the war, the next three months were not good ones
> for the Federation.

Mike: They were between sweeps months and PTEN would only gve them reruns.

> Devastating attacks were made by the Romulans
> on many Federation planets and outposts.

Crow: They were trying to sew up the salty snack market for the Pretzel Wagon.

> It was not until the now Rear Admiral Marrissa Picard was
> once again forced into the forefront, that the Federation was
> successful again.

Tom: That sentence structure is something up with which I shall not put.

> This story will be told in the next volume of
> the series ... Falling Into Command.
>

Crow: Agent Double O Marrissa will return in... Falling Into Command.

> Professor

Tom: William Gobble-on.

> John P. Hereomise III

Mike: Remember that Hereomise sweater Gypsy knitted me?
Tom: That gypsy is such a dear.

> Professor of 24th Century History
> University of Alpha-Beta Hidroxide

Mike: He's been charged with the murder of the original sandwich cookie!

> University May 17, 2456
>
> --
> Stephen Ratliff CS Major, Radford University.

Crow: You're telling me this luminary isn't an English major?
Tom: That Ratliff, the quintessential Rennaisance Man.
Mike: The average European during the Rennaisance was an illiterate peasant.
Tom: Yes, I know.

> srat...@runet.edu Marrissa Stories Author

Tom: Author! Author!
Crow: Die! Die!

> homepage: http://www.cs.runet.edu/~sratliff/

Mike: Paging Mr. Ratliff, Mr. Stephen Ratliff.
Crow: Why, I'm Stephen Ratliff!
Mike: GO HOME!

> Maintainer for the FAQs on alt.startrek.creative
>

Tom: Here's a FAQ for you: Is there anyone over there creative enough to write
an original story?

> "Wait until you have four pips on that collar, you'll wish you'd gone
> into botany"
> - Captain Benjiman Sisko, DS9 "Rules of Engagement"

Mike: Or stuck with the "Hawk" character...
Tom: Whew. Let's get out of here, guys.

[1-2-3-4-5-6]

[SOL]

Mike: Wow, guys, that was rough.

Tom: Mike, if we're so immortal and internal and stuff, why are we trapped in
geosynchronous orbit over Radford University, trapped in a text-based
mock up of the Satellite of Love?

Mike: How should I know.

Crow: You know, trapped up here in cyberspace, reading about the Kids' Crew,
orbiting Radford. Face it guys, it's Ratliff's World, and we're just
passing through.

Mike: Crow! I think that's it!

Crow: What?

Mike: This *is* Ratliff's world.

Crow: And?

Mike: Who is all-powerful in Ratliff's world?

Crow: Marrissa.

Mike: Exactly. Tom, do you have the Marrissa action figure?

Tom: Sure do, Mike. Right here.

Mike: All we have to do is have Marrissa wave her hand, and we'll be banished
from Ratliff's world.

[Mike takes the figure, and lifts its hand.]

Mike [Marrissa]: Be gone, infidels!

Mike, Tom, and Crow all disappear.

->>> connected: PearlF (#13) - total: 1

PearlF: How did you boys enjoy in the film?

[Edge of the Universe]

Tom: Hey Gypsy! We're back! And we're all pure energy and stuff!

Gypsy: You guys! The Sattelite of Love is in trouble! We've got to save it!

[Deep 13]

Mrs. F: Oh, no! How did they escape?

<Baby crying>

Mrs. F: I'm sorry, Clayton. I'll get them back soon enough. I've got this
Corman cheapie with Touch Conners and the end of the world all ready
to go. Believe you me, they'll see it.

Mrs. Forrester pushes the button.

[Pfffffft!]
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and situation are copyright Paramount. I understand Paramount is out to
undermine Trekkie activity on the net. I certainly hope this MSTing has done
its little part. "A New Generation" is copyright Stephen Ratliff, I suppose.
And he's welcome to it. So I guess whatever is left over is copyright me. Post
this message anywhere, just do it in its entirity, with this message attached.
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> "I'm sorry to hear that Admiral," Captain Picard responded.
> "I guess it's time to find out which girl Captain its the best."
> "Nothing like friendly competition to begin one's day," the
> Romulan Admiral concluded. "On guard, Captain."

Jamie Plummer jc...@virginia.edu http://faraday.clas.virginia.edu/~jcp9j
"It's merely symptomatic of our postmodern ennui. There are no
absolutes unless you perceive our world as meaningless when it's
really your own freedom you detest. I like pork." -- Brak