MiSTing--"2000-X" Pt. 2

[Omega]

More of the MiSTing...

[Mike and the bots enter the theatre]

> **All characters and places except 2000-X students and Atlanis
> Base belong to Marvel Comics.

Crow: Does that mean that Marvel Comics bought out Massachusetts?

> Everything that doesn't belong to Marvel Comics belongs to Adam
> McPartlin.

Tom: You know, I think that's a really broad reading of the copyright
laws.

> All characters and stories belonging to Adam McPartlin may be
> distributed/used

Mike: As birdcage liners.

> freely. If archived on the 'net, please inform me of the URL at
> ma...@awod.com
>
> 2000-X
> Chapter 1
>
> With a light blanket of freshly fallen snow, the children calling
> themselves 2000-X

Mike: You mean they all called themselves 2000-X? Didn't that get
confusing?
Crow: No, it's all in the way you say it. You know, there's 2000-X,
and 2000-x, and--
Tom: We get the idea.

> were enjoying the time they had before classes began.

Crow: Well, they sure had plenty of time...they registered two years
early!

> "Alec," said Charles Ramesy to the leader of 2000-X, "Let's
> see if the king of all England can dodge a snowball."

Crow: Wait, how'd he become team leader?
Mike: How'd he become King of England for that matter?
Tom: Well, you see, there was this sword, and, you know, the rock,
and--never mind.

> As Charles released the snowball,

Mike: It fell on his foot.
Tom: You know, he really should know enough to _throw_ it.
Crow: Well, he is only one year old.

> it suddenly stopped in midair and returned to it's sender.
>
> "I dunna think tha the snow was meant ta be used as a
> weapon."

Mike: OK, guys, let's play GUESS THAT ACCENT!
Tom: I say Scottish!
Crow: I say Irish!
Mike: I say Southern.
Crow: Can I change my guess to Jamaican?

> replied Pendragon, the mysterious young man that believes himself
> to be King Arthur.

Tom: And changes tenses randomly, it appears.

> "Pendragon, ye canna be so serious all the time, lad. Loosen
> up some. Ye're not the king anymore," said Alec.

Crow: Yeah, Elvis is the King now!

> As a two birds fell from the sky

Crow: And splattered to the ground with a wet thud and a sickening
crack.
Mike: Crow!

> they transformed into Andrea Manson and James Stanton.
> "Would you stop following me?" said Andrea. "I can't stop
> following a girl as luvely as you, mate," was the reply of the
> obviously overconfidentyoung

Crow: Overconfidentyoung? Is that anything like Youngsexycool?

> Australian. "Fine then," as Andrea activated her mutant power to
> place hypnotic suggestions, "leave me alone!" As if a miracle had
> happened

Tom: the story ended.

> James left Andrea for no apparent reason.

Crow: Wait, I thought he left because she placed a hypnotic suggestion
to make him leave.
Mike: I thought he left because she said, "Leave me alone!"
Tom: I thought he left because the story was lousy.
Mike: No, that's why _we_ want to leave.

> After a few more minutes of fun,

Mike: They call this fun?

> the headmaster Robert Drake, also called the indomitable Iceman,
> makes his appearance signaling that it was time for classes to
> start. For most of the students this first class was Calculus with
> Dr. Drake. Tihna, James and Michael had biology with Ms. Frost.

Crow: Oh, yeah....
Mike: Crow!

> The students in Calculus were having their first test. "I dunna
> understand these mathematics.

Tom: Yeah, he's only got an IQ of 200.

> Merlin only taught the arithmetics. I believe that I will transfer to
> another class."
>
> As it turned out Pendragon was the only student not
> to pass the test. In fact he was the only one not to make an A on
> it.
>

Crow: Not only did he not pass it, he didn't make an A on it!
Mike: If he didn't make an A on it, how did he spell his name? Rthur?

> "Arthur, could I speak to you after class?" said Dr. Drake.
>
> "I think we should move you to the normal level classes
> with Tihna, James and Michael."

Crow(as Arthur): You mean I get to be in Biology with Ms. Frost?
Mike: What exactly are normal classes for these kids? Quantum physics?

> "I agree with yuir. I canna handle these mathematics."
>
> As the day progressed it came time for training in the
> biosphere.

Tom: They were taking target practice at Pauly Shore.

> Today it was Venus' first king of the mountain tournament.

Mike: Crow!
Crow: I didn't say anything!
Mike: I know, I was making a pre-emptive strike.

> She knew that she probably couldn't win. Between
> the energy wielders and the telepaths there was no way she could
> beat them. That didn't mean she wasn't going to let them win
> without a fight. As soon as Ms. Frost blew the whistle 2000-X
> went into action.
>
> It started with Falcon, Raven, and Psyber hitting Venus with
> their energy blasts. This was completely ineffective against her
> shields. Soon she noticed that the air around her was changing
> temperatures. Quickly she moved to avoid getting caught in the
> tornado Pendragon was forming. Then she felt Anubis draining the
> life force of the trees.

Tom: How did she do that?
Crow: I think she's a powerful telepath.
Tom: In this story, who isn't?

> She tried to maneuver but the animated tree limbs were too fast
> and she was captured.

Crow: She was stopped by a cartoon?

> Anubis, Pendragon, and Psyber hit her psionically, while Warrior
> negated her force field

Mike: He can do that because he's Green Lantern, right?
Tom and Crow (dully): Yes, Mike.

> and Raven and Falcon hit her with their bolts. Miraculously, Venus
> was still conscious.

Tom: Unfortunately, the audience had passed out hours ago.
Mike: What's so unfortunate about that?

> She hit Warrior with a psibolt to regain her shields. Then she
> activated her pheremones to take all the men out of the game.

Crow: Wouldn't that put them _into_ the game?
Tom: Um, maybe they're all off in the corner--
Mike: Crow, look what you did to him!

> However, since Anubis doesn't breathe

All: HUH?

> and the women aren't affected by female pheremones

Tom: Except for the new team members, kd lang and Martina Navratilova.

> she still had to content with them.

Mike: Spelling flame, guys?
Tom: Nah, we'll let this one pass.

> Waverider turned into water and stretched up to Venus to
> try and knock her out with pure force.

Mike: Wouldn't she be trying to knock her out with a few hundred
gallons of water?
Tom: No, she's trying to knock her out with those light star dark bolt
things.
Crow: No, they're ba--Mmmmmmph!
Mike: Maybe I should just weld your mouth shut, Crow.
Crow: Mmph!

> Falcon timed her star bolt to hit Venus at the same time Waverider
> did. Right before Waverider hit Venus, Anubis drained off enough
> of Venus' life force to control her mind to some extent. Venus was
> so intent at closing her mind her concentration slipped and she was
> knocked unconscious by the girls.
>
> "Very good children," said Ms. Frost, "I believe that soon
> you will be ready for team tourements." "I think Ms. Frost is
> pushing the team topurnamen a little bit, but you were all
> magnificent," said Dr. Drake,

Tom: But your spelling is horrendous.
Crow: Yeah, he's almost as bad as--
Tom & Mike: Don't say it!!!!!!!
Crow: What, why shouldn't I say Ratliff?
Tom: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Mike: That's why. Even our screams get spelled wrong at the mention
of--the Evil One.

> "I think dinner should be about ready. Let's eat."

Crow: Great, Iceman's cooking again. What do you think it'll be,
frozen waffles?
Tom: If they weren't before, they will be now.

> That night the team was watching a French film (it was
> Monique's turn to choose the movie). "If you do not enjoy French
> films than I suggest that you leave. I will not be pressured into
> altering my decision."
>
> "Monique, these words, I don't know." said Tihna.

Crow: Will you still respect me in the morning?

>
> "That is because it is French and I have turned off the
> subtitles. If you do not understand that

Tom: Oh, come on, how hard can it be? It...is...in...French! Got it?
Mike: No, I think she was referring to the fact that she'd turned off
the subtitles.

> I suggest you have Charles or Alec psilink with you. They both are
> fluent in French." replied Monique.
>
> "Howabout I just turn on the subtitles."said Michael.
>
> "Turn them on and I will put you in more pain than you
> could possibly imagine."

Crow: I thought she was supposed to be withdrawn.
Mike: Yeah, she's withdrawn to the point of psychosis, Crow.

>
> It was at that moment that Dr. Drake entered the room.
> "Now, Monique, that is no way to speak to your fellow students, is
> it?" asked Dr. Drake. "No, sir." said Monique.
>
> "Now children, it's time that you all got to bed." said Dr.
> Drake.

Crow: Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!

> The next morning everyone woke up early.

Tom: Iceman snores!

> When they got to breakfast they noticed that James wasn't there.

Tom: This morning, we've secretly replaced your mutant with Folger's
Crystals!

> "I'll go check on him." said Andew.

Mike: Andew?
Tom: I think he has a cold.
Mike: Colds don't usually affect your typing.
Crow: Maybe it's an after effect of that Ratliff--
Mike and Tom: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

> When Andrew got to James' room he knew immediatly that
> something was wrong.

Tom (as Andrew): You know, I remembered James as being in fewer pieces
than that...

> James always kept a very clean room. But when Andrew got there
> ther room had been torn up and James was gone. "Computer: notify
> Ms. Frost and Dr. Drake that Megamorph is missing."
>
> <What's wrong Andrew?> asked Alec.

Crow: I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the computer!

> "James is gone." <He's not on campus. Have you informed
> Emma and Robert?> "Yes."
>
> ::All students report to the ready room immediatly:: said Dr.
> Drake's voice over the intercom.
>
> Within five minutes 2000-X were assembled in full uniform
> at the ready room.
>

Mike: Drake, you put their arms on backwards!
Tom: Don't touch them! The glue's still drying!

> "Cerebro has located Megamorph on a small
> island in the Pacific. It would be a good training exercise for you
> children to rescue him. Remember, whoever kidnapped
> Megamorph is able to handle any of his alternate forms."

Crow: Oh, great training mission. Send them up against a being of
unknown, potentially godlike power!
Tom: Well, maybe it's a headcount reduction thing.

> As soon as 2000-X was briefed, Monique teleportd the
> team to the island.
>
> The first thing they noticed were over a hundred soldiers
> with laser rifles pointed at them. "I think we're in trouble, don't
> ye?" said Anubis.
>
> To Be Continued...

[long pause]
Mike: Alright...I think we need to do something before the next part
begins. Come here, Crow. [grabs Crow's "ears" and drags him off-stage,
carrying Tom with his other arm.]

[SOL Bridge. Crow's head has been opened up, and Mike is sticking a
screwdriver into the cavity. Tom walks on-stage.]

Tom: Hi, Mike. Whatcha doing to Crow?

Mike: Well, he seemed a little bit too suggestive during that last
segment; so I figured I'd do a little reprogramming of his personality
matrix to keep us suitable for family viewing.

Tom: But Mike...you're not exactly Mister Goodwrench when it comes to
robot repair, you know.

Mike: What, are you saying that I'm not up to the task of altering a
single element of the millions of delicate components that make up
Crow's personality matrix without making a single error--an error that
could cause critical personality instabilities?

Crow: CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE!
CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE! CABBAGE!

Tom(with heavy sarcasm): Oh, no, not at all. Keep up the good work,
there, Mike.

Mike: Um, er, hold on...[reverses screwdriver, raps Crow's head
sharply with it]

Crow(in Shatner voice): What...are...you doing to me? Why...do...I
feel...so strange? Spock! Spock!

Tom: I am _not_ going to work with him if he stays like that.

Mike: OK, wait a second. [hits Crow again with screwdriver] There.

Crow: THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER? [Shakes head back and forth
rapidly] Whew, what the heck just happened to me?

Mike(rapidly hiding screwdriver behind back): Oh, nothing...say, how
do you feel?

Crow: Just fine and dandy, Mike! Gee golly, I feel like I'm on top of
the world!

Mike: Great, Crow. So, Tom...what are those "star bolt" thingies
again?

Crow: They're...[his eyes roll up into the back of his
head]...they're, um...[smoke begins to pour from his beak]...I know!
They're ba--[Mike grabs his beak quickly.]

Mike: Phooey. Well, if at first you don't succeed--

[Flashing red lights, sirens, bells, etc.]

Tom: No time, Mike! We got movie sign!

[All run into theater amidst chaos and confusion.]

Yet more to come...

Omega
******
"Marc Singer walks into the room wearing a loincloth! What do you
say?"
"Um, um...so that's why they call it 'V'!"
--Tom and Mike, from The Brain That Wouldn't Die