MiSTed: Reboot -- Breaking the Barriers [ 4 / 4 ]
Joseph Nebus
JOEL: *So* immature.
> As he came around
> the corner, he tripped over something. Pulling himself back up onto
> his feet, Enzo picked up the protruding object.
CROW: He's found a porn spam!
> It looked like one of
> those old delete commands he'd read about in school.
JOEL: I'm pretty sure there still are delete commands.
> He picked it up
> and brushed it off. It glowed dimly in his hand.
TOM: Couldn't that kind of delete thing take his fingers off?
> If he remembered
> what Miss Brodie had taught him,
CROW: Our Miss Brodie...
> these old commands couldn't
> completely delete someone anymore,
JOEL: They're just called delete commands for the fun of it.
> but they could do some damage.
TOM: So you can see why they leave that kind of thing lying around
where anybody can grab it.
> From the look of this one, there was enough energy to at least hurt
> Megabreath.
CROW: The Big Bad Cyberwolf.
> Feeling confident, he leapt onto his zip-board, and
> zoomed away.
JOEL: The implication is, when your computer garbles your e-mail files,
it's the acts of venegence from your graphics display elements.
>
> Back at the Diner, Dot was watching Bob as he comforted
> Carrie. She was not impressed. Suddenly, the door burst open and
> Enzo walked in.
CROW: So Enzo went to the Data Dump, found the Delete command,
and got back in about seven seconds.
> Dot, Bob Carrie and Megabyte all turned to look at
> him.
ALL: NORM!
TOM: Norman.
> Enzo strod in, his hands hidden behind his back.
JOEL: He just does that so they don't have to draw his hands.
> He stopped a
> few feet from Megabyte and smiled slyly.
CROW: OK... my hands are gonna be a fridge, OK? And you open it up
and take out a Coke, right?
> Megabyte simply looked down
> at him. "Enzo!!" Dot said, "Where did you go?" she asked.
JOEL: Was it cold? Did you wear your warm clothes?
> Enzo only
> stood there, smiling at Megabyte. "Enzo, what are you doing?"
CROW: He didn't even go to the Data Dump, it all happened in his mind.
> Bob
> asked as Enzo stood ready, the delete command held tightly in his
> hand.
JOEL: As his fingernails dissolve.
> "Giving this guy what he deserves!" Enzo shouted, and threw the
> command at Megabyte with all his strength.
TOM: Unfortunately his aim's bad and he deletes the salad bar,
the soda fountain, and half a picture window.
>
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
CROW: A long cold front ending in a small vortex.
>
> Part Twenty-Five
TOM: There is no joke to make about that fact.
>
> "Noooo!"
>
> Megabyte stood, surprised, as Enzo whipped the command at him.
TOM: Here's a role reversal from the usual dodgeball.
> Then, before he could move, a figure jumped in front of him.
> "Stop!!" she screamed.
JOEL: In the name of love!
> Carrie had placed herself between Megabyte and
> the rapidly approaching command.
CROW: You know it's serious because we're moving in slow motion.
> Bob watched in horror as Carrie
> stood with her arms stretched out, protecting the virus.
JOEL: But Megabyte ducked.
> "Glitch,"
> Bob ordered, "Catch!!"
TOM: Unfortunately Glitch was owned by Bill Buckner, and...
[ CROW wimpers ]
> Glitch chirped and caught the command in an
> energy beam. Carrie looked over at him and smiled. Then she moaned
> quietly and collapsed.
JOEL: She's had a hard day what with becoming a transparent
Canadian vampire and all. Let her rest.
>
> Megabyte looked down at Carrie's fallen form in wonder, then
> picked her up gently.
CROW: [ Singing ] What have I done? ... I've killed da WAB-bit...
> Bob and the others watched in surprise as
> Megabyte placed her on the counter once again.
TOM: Lucky thing Bob, Enzo, and Megabyte *are* the lunch rush.
> Then, he opened a
> vid-window. A viral binome saluted as he realized it was Megabyte.
JOEL: Hey, aren't binomes the creepy guys that stole the Enterprise
in the good episode from Next Generation's first year?
> "Yes, sir?" he asked. "I want my limo at Dot's Diner now. And get
> the infirmary ready for an incoming patient." Megabyte ordered.
CROW: So he's taking her to the infirmary after she was
hurt after taking her to the diner after she was hurt.
What a sweetheart!
> The
> binome saluted and Megabyte closed the window before he could answer.
TOM: Ooh, communications breakdown. Their relationship's in trouble.
> Bob stared as Megabyte picked Carrie up once again, and started toward
> the door.
JOEL: Hope he remembers to turn sideways before going through the door.
>
> "Wait!" Bob said, and Megabyte turned.
CROW: [ As Megabyte ] Uh, I'm *busy*.
> "Where are you taking
> her?" he asked. Megabyte frowned. "To the Tor." he rumbled.
TOM: [ As Bob ] Well, don't let the Tor hit you on the way out.
JOEL: [ As Megabyte ] Ow!
> Bob
> looked confused. "Why?" he asked. Megabyte simply looked at him.
CROW: Because if we stay here any longer we have to order something.
> "She just risked her life to save mine. That is something that does
> not go unnoticed."
TOM: Didn't this same thing happen with G.I.Joe once?
> He turned and left, entering his waiting limo.
> Bob raced outside and watched as Megabyte's vehicle zoomed away. He
> pulled out his zip-board and took off in pursuit.
CROW: They'd get there faster if they just dropped themselves
into another folder icon.
> Inside the Diner,
> Dot was talking to a very depressed and upset Enzo. "Why did you do
> that and where did you find that command?"
JOEL: Revenge; and Big Denny's Discount House Of Loaded Firearms,
Defective Firecrackers, and Hair-Trigger Mines.
> she asked. Enzo didn't
> answer. Dot reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "What's
> wrong?" she asked, worriedly.
TOM: Uh, Dot, you were in the scene just passed, right?
> Enzo looked up at her, tears filling
> his eyes.
CROW: Now why would a sprite need to cry?
JOEL: Because he was assigned to Smurf Adventure as the bottom half?
> "I didn't want to hurt Carrie,." he sobbed, "just
> Megabreath!!"
CROW: It's only *technically* attempted murder. He *needed* killin'.
> With that, he began to weep and Dot held him, not
> totally sure what to say.
JOEL: A cautionary tale about venegence, or just three more chapters?
>
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
>
> Carrie wasn't sure what had happened,
TOM: Hey, why doesn't that break rate a separate Part?
> but what she did know
> was that when she awoke, she found herself in a room she had never
> seen before. "Ah, you're awake."
CROW: [ As Megabyte ] We downloaded you into a chicken. That OK?
> The voice came from the darkness
> that surrounded her. She knew who it was as soon as she heard it.
JOEL: Unicron!
> "Megabyte." she whispered. He walked out from the shadows, smiling.
TOM: They always walk out of the shadows, smiling.
Don't any supervillains pay the electric bill?
> Carrie took no comfort in his smile. "Why did you bring me here?" she
> asked.
JOEL: He's hoping to collect the five cent deposit.
> "Now, now." he said, "I mean you no harm." He walked up to
> the side of the bed she was on and looked down into her eyes.
CROW: Don't worry... We won't hurt you...
> Carrie
> stared back, mesmerised.
TOM: Sleeeeeeep!
> Megabyte's eyes were cold and hard, yet,
> somewhere deep below the surface, there burned the fire of feirce
> emotion.
JOEL: Fierce yet generic emotion.
TOM: It's dull surprise.
> She couldn't move. It were as though she had been
> hypnotized.
CROW: Brrrrrrr....rruk ... cluck cluck cluck cluk cluk...
> Her mind told her that Megabyte was bad news, yet
> something about him intrigued her incredibly. He offered her a hand,
[ JOEL claps ]
> and she took it cautiously. He pulled her up into a sitting position,
> and she swung her legs over the side.
TOM: This is the tender, loving side of Megabyte.
>
> Suddenly, an alarm went off and they both looked up quickly.
JOEL: Klingons!
> A vid-window pinged into existance before them. "Sir!" the viral
> binome saluted, "There's an intruder on the third level!"
CROW: Sonic the Hedgehog is breaking in!
> Megabyte
> frowned. "Show me."
TOM: Here's a bunny, and here's a butterfly, and here's a puppy dog.
> The viral saluted again and quickly pushed a
> button. The screen switched to a shot from above the intruder,
JOEL: It's like watching soccer coverage.
> zooming along on a zip-board. "Bob!?!" Carrie said. Megabyte
> frowned, then signaled the viral binome again.
CROW: Why can't they just learn to not hang up?
> "Should we stop him,
> sir?" The viral asked, excitedly.
TOM: Have they ever been able to stop him?
> "No." Megabyte rumbled. "Allow
> him through."
JOEL: First make him say "Pretty Please with Sugar and Spice on Top."
>
> "Allow him......?" The binome started. "Ahem. Yes sir!" The
> viral saluted again, and the window closed.
TOM: I bet you ten bucks when we get out of here that guy
shows up on the hex field view screen.
CROW: You're on.
> Megabyte turned to Carrie
> and smiled. "It seems the Guardian is concerned about you." he
> chuckled.
CROW: The Mirror doesn't give a dang, and the Daily Mail barely
acknowledges you exist.
> Carrie just looked at him, uncomprhendingly. "What do you
> mean?" she asked.
TOM: What part of that sentence didn't she get?
> "Well, it's none of my business, but it seems that
> there already was a significant other in Bob's life before you came
> along."
JOEL: I didn't figure Megabyte was a gossip.
CROW: The Clarabele Cow of Mainframe.
> Carrie stared at him in shock, then gasped, covering her
> mouth. *Of course!* she thought, *I forgot about Dot!*
TOM: And here she is, a huge fan of the show, and she forgets
its basic emotional dynamic.
> She looked
> down at the floor. *I must really be causing trouble.*
CROW: Aw, the story wouldn't be the same without you.
> Megabyte
> smiled as he watched Carrie. Perhaps if he could occupy the Guardian
> with his female problem,
JOEL: Oh, yeah, like computer guys have anything to do with girls.
> he would be too busy to bother with stopping
> any attempt at the Supercomputer.
TOM: Maybe Megabyte should try taking over something easy,
like a Street Fighter arcade game, and then work his way
up to supercomputers.
>
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
JOEL: It's both a punch card and a player piano scroll.
CROW: Another one without a new Part. I bet it's some tax law.
>
> Bob raced through the Tor. *Why haven't they tried to stop
> me, yet?* he wondered.
TOM: They must've put a homing device on the Millennium Falcon.
> "Glitch!" he said, "Show me Carrie's
> location." Glitch chirped and displayed a map with a small white dot.
> *She's only one level above.* he thought.
JOEL: That's not Carrie, that's the User from that Indiana Jones
and Daisy Duke game a couple chapters back.
> Then another thought hit
> him. "Glitch, show Megabyte's location." Just as Bob had thought. A
> larger blue dot appeared, directly to the left of the small white one.
TOM: Aw, Road Runner and Coyote are chasing each other through
the mining tunnels.
> That meant that Carrie could be in danger. With no thought for
> anything else, Bob sped up and raced toward the room Glitch had shown
> him.
[ JOEL hums the Speed Racer theme ]
>
> Surprising herself, Carrie found herself laughing.
CROW: Caught off guard, she slammed the door shut on herself,
making her wait outside until she was ready.
> She
> listened with pleasure as her voice melted together with Megabyte's
> own deep chuckle,
TOM: Liquid voices.
> finding it melodious and wonderful. *He's so much
> different than I had thought.*
JOEL: She's going to end up dumping Bob, I know it.
> In fact, she found him rather amusing,
> in his own way.
CROW: It's called "evil".
> She looked at him and smiled. He returned her smile,
> and Carrie found herself liking him more and more with each passing
> nano.
TOM: Megabyte's plan is to seduce Carrie so Bob's torn between
Dot and him?
> Feeling brave, she spoke up.
JOEL: [ As Carrie ] Megabyte, will I go to the dance with me? Uh...
> "You're very interesting." she
> told him. "There is more to you than meets the eye."
CROW: Robots in disguise!
> Megabyte
> chuckled and returned the compliment. "I never thought I would be
> talking to a User."
TOM: He should take the chance to ask her to uninstall Virex.
> he rumbled, then paused thoughtfully. "But then,
> I never thought I could end up in the User world either."
JOEL: [ As Megabyte ] I never realized the User world was
mostly Auntie Anne pretzel stands.
> Carrie
> smiled. "I wasn't expecting to end up in Mainframe myself."
TOM: So who brought her to Mainframe, anyway?
> she told
> him. *He really is an okay guy once you talk to him.* she thought.
CROW: Now he turns away, smiles, she steps up to him,
he reveals vampire fangs and HYAAAAAH!
>
> Bob stopped in front of the door and got off his zip-board.
CROW: Or we cut away to the other story thread.
> He placed his ear to the door. He couldn't hear anything, and that
> worried him
TOM: It'd be more worrisome if they were in the real world
where sounds transmit through objects.
> even more than if he could hear sounds of struggle or
> something.
JOEL: There are some sounds you definitely don't want to hear.
> Finally, he got frustrated and, raising his foot, kicked
> the door wide open.
TOM: Uh, there's a doorknob.
CROW: There's a couple doorknobs.
> Carrie whirled as the door to the Infirmary burst
> open. She watched, shocked, as Bob raced through the door with Glitch
> armed.
JOEL: [ As Carrie, startled ] Bob! What a surprise ... uh ... you know
Megabyte, from the church group ... he was ... getting a kiss out
of my eye ... I mean ...
> "Alright Megabyte!!" he shouted, "Let her go!!" Carrie stood
> up quickly and walked over to stand beside Megabyte.
CROW: Prelude to a dumping.
> Megabyte simply
> looked down at his hands, casually inspecting his nails.
TOM: He's this close to pulling a Fonzie.
> "She is not
> being held here." he rumbled, "She is free to leave whenever she
> chooses." Carrie nodded.
JOEL: Are they saying that with their voices merged still?
> "Megabyte saved my life."
CROW: And by "saved" I mean "endangered."
> She said,
> turning to look up at him. She smiled as Megabyte looked over at Bob.
> "Just as she would have done for me."
JOEL: And this emotional turmoil is going on inside all our computers?
TOM: Yes.
CROW: Always.
> Bob lowered his arm, looking
> utterly confused. Carrie smiled and walked up to him.
JOEL: [ As Carrie ] I am your drill thrall.
> "You should
> know that virus' do have a sense of honour. Remember when you rescued
> him in the crashed game?"
TOM: Oh, SimCity 3000.
> Bob and Megabyte stared at her first, then
> looked at each other.
CROW: It's a living.
> "He allowed you to leave as a return favor for
> saving him. He could have just deleted you there and won.
JOEL: It's kind of a Quark and Odo thing.
> But he
> didn't." She reached out and took Bob's hand. "I know that he
> wouldn't hurt me now."
TOM: Megabyte actually left. He's visiting the Digimon crew.
>
> Then, Carrie turned to Megabyte. "I would like a favor in
> return for my help, though." She said.
JOEL: Help with what?
> Megabyte smiled suspitiously.
TOM: Aah! Don't *do* that!
> "What would that be?" he asked. Carrie smiled. "I need a way home."
JOEL: Like Glitch and Phong opened up earlier?
> Bob looked at Megabyte. Megabyte was about to answer when Carrie
> held up her hand. "But, you must promise you will not follow me, for
> any reason."
CROW: What if she leaves her wallet behind?
> Megabyte scowled and Bob smiled. *She definatly knows
> about virus'* he thought. "Very well." Megabyte rumbled. Then he
> turned. A vid-window pinged into existance and a small viral binome
> appeared on the screen. "Get me Hexadecimal."
TOM: I can give you two Octals and change.
> Megabyte ordered and
> the binome saluted. The picture changed to that of the dark throne
> room of the Lair in Lost Angles.
CROW: Angle Pozo, the mathematical herring.
> Hexi smiled. "Well, what a pleasant
> surprise!" she murmered, "How nice to see you."
TOM: It's so *wonderful* that you could be here!
> Megabyte frowned. "I
> have something to ask of you." he rumbled. Hexi gave him a suspitious
> look. "And what would that be, love?"
CROW: This is for 125,000 dollars ... What's the region of Greece
where centaurs come from, is it (a) Thrace, (b) Thessaly,
(c) Epidaurus, or (d) Epidurmus?
> she asked. Megabyte turned to
> Carrie. "Perhaps you would care to explain it to her?" he asked.
JOEL: So how is this confusing Bob's priorities?
> Carrie's heart jumped. *Me?* she thought, *Talk to Hexadecimal?*
TOM: Somebody's got to.
CROW: You're carrying that scientific calculator that translates
between decimal, hexadecimal, binary, octal, and Swahili,
after all.
> She
> began to rub her hands together nervously. *She's my favorite
> character on the show!*
JOEL: This is a twist Bob didn't see coming.
> Swallowing hard, Carrie stepped into Hex's
> view.
TOM: Hey, down in front!
>
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
JOEL: It's the kind of constellation a Vulcan draws.
>
> Part Twenty-Six
>
> Carrie stood silently, staring into the suspitious mask of her
> favorite virus.
TOM: I remember when I felt that way for the Michaelangelo virus.
> She opened her mouth but nothing came out.
> Hexadecimal frowned. "Well?" she asked.
CROW: Closer to fair than well, thanks.
> Carrie swallowed hard. "I
> need your help." she blurted.
TOM: I have to get Megabyte something for his birthday
and I don't know what.
> Hex smiled. "So, she can talk. What
> sort of help would you be needing?" she asked.
CROW: Enough narrative discipline to get to the story's end.
> Carrie clasped her
> hands together. "I know you have great power, and that you can form
> portals to certain places."
TOM: This is like James Bond talking with his travel agent.
> Hex smiled. "Why thank you." she said,
> "But why should I help you?"
TOM: You don't want to be the last one in town to help, do you?
> Carrie looked down at the floor. "I
> have nothing to give you in return." she whispered.
JOEL: She's going to play for her on her drum.
> "I just hoped
> that since I am one of your admirers, that you might spare me some
> time out of your second to help."
CROW: This same ploy's used by aspiring actors all the time.
> Carrie knew that Bob and Megabyte
> were staring at her like she had suddenly grown a third arm,
JOEL: [ As Megabyte ] She *did*!
> or
> something, but this had to work.
TOM: 'Cause girls will do anything if you flatter them.
>
> Hexadecimal laughed. "You see, brother?" she said, "I, too,
> have a following."
CROW: Come *on*. On the Internet, Kevin Kubusheskie has a following.
TOM: On the Internet, Vegemite has a following.
> Megabyte growled. Carrie motioned to him. "You
> promised." she whispered.
JOEL: No followings.
> Megabyte glared down at her, but said
> nothing. Hex looked from Carrie to her brother curiously. "And why
> are you helping this small one?" she taunted.
TOM: She's under the limit, he had to throw her back.
> Megabyte said nothing
> at first and Carrie held her breath. Then he chuckled. "She is a
> friend who has come to see that I repay a favor she paid me once."
JOEL: He's repaying her for saving her life?
> Hexadecimal said nothing at first, then her mask changed to one of
> pleasant surprise.
CROW: Wonder who's underneath all those masks? Carol Channing.
> "Why, I see you have even brought the Guardian to
> help you ask me of this favor!" she murmered, and Carrie glanced at
> Bob out of the corner of her eye. "How nice!"
JOEL: So what've we learned this story?
CROW: Carrie's nice.
>
> Carrie turned to the vid-window again and looked directly into
> Hex's smiling face.
CROW: [ As Carrie ] I forsee ... a large collection of cats
in your future.
> "Please," Carrie whispered, "I really want to go
> home."
TOM: I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
> Hex looked down at her, surprised. "Home?" she asked,
> "Brother! If an admirer of mine needs a way to her home system, all
> you had to do was ask nicely!"
CROW: Click her shoes three times, and...
> She laughed at some inside joke and
> the vid-window closed suddenly. Carrie started at the sudden cut off.
> *Boy! she is impulsive!* she thought.
TOM: That's not impulsive, that's just rude.
> She looked at Bob. "Why don't
> we go to Lost Angles so I can get home?"
JOEL: Why can't she go back the portal she used last time?
> she offered. Bob smiled and
> offered Carrie his hand. She stepped up onto his zip-board and
> wrapped her arms around his waist. She turned to Megabyte once more.
TOM: He's doing a good job using Bob's inner turmoil to his advantage.
> "Thank you, very much." she said. Megabyte chuckled again. "I'll see
> to it that no one bothers you on the way out."
CROW: That just means he validated their parking.
> He glared at Bob only
> briefly before he turned and disappeared into the shadows.
JOEL: Uh, Megabyte, that's the broom --
TOM: SMASH!
JOEL: Closet.
> Carrie
> smiled. *I love his dramatic exits!* she thought.
CROW: [ As Megabyte ] I think I broke my leg ...
can somebody please ... hello? Anybody?
> Then she turned to
> Bob. "Let's go." she said.
TOM: Let's blow this popsicle stand.
> Bob flashed her his killer smile.
JOEL: Gah! Your smile ... it's still ... poi ... son ...
> "Hang
> on." he said.
>
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
CROW: Kansas (detailed map).
>
> Carrie stood silently at the base of Hex's tower, staring
> upwards in awe.
JOEL: And David Warner's in there *somewhere*.
> Lost Angles was definately a place that one had to
> get used to.
TOM: It's a good place to (ahem) make a point.
> She looked at Bob. "Don't be nervous." he told her,
> "I'll be right here with you."
CROW: Besides, you won the heroes over, you won the villains over,
all that's left is for you to win the landscaping over.
> Carrie smiled. "Thanks." she
> whispered, "I really appreciate it."
JOEL: It's always the little things that count.
> She took a deep breath and
> reached out to press what looked to be some sort of doorbell. Before
> she had a chance to touch it, the door flew open.
CROW: Convenience store doorways of the future!
> Carrie gasped and
> jumped back. She smiled sheepishly at Bob. He returned her smile and
> chivalrously offered her his hand.
TOM: I hope they don't put those on the wrong places.
> Carrie just looked at him,
> dumbfounded, for a nano, then shyly took his hand.
JOEL: Energy shake, hand shake, it's literary counterpointing.
> She wasn't sure
> why he was acting this way toward her, but she wasn't going to say
> anything. Swallowing hard, she entered into the shadows.
CROW: And she bonks into Megabyte.
>
> As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, her surroundings
> became familiar.
JOEL: It's the hangars of the infamous Vulture Squadron!
> This was yet another place that would be forever
> etched into her memory.
TOM: That's the danger of becoming a sprite, you could
get something from cartridge ROM mapped onto you.
> The room was enormous, yet the actual space
> that was accessable by normal sprites was rather small.
CROW: It's like being at gramma's, you have to stay on
the plastic strips.
> *I guess it
> doesn't matter whether you have a floor or not when you're a Class
> Two!* Carrie thought.
JOEL: There's a thought I wouldn't have had today if
the story didn't help me along.
> Before them was a large and rather
> uncomfortable looking throne.
TOM: You are what you sit on.
JOEL: No.
> It seemed almost twisted and the back
> was several twisted spires with no bar ajoining them on top.
CROW: That's not a throne, it's a bad church organ.
> Bob
> started foreward, heading into the ever present spotlight that floated
> through the room. Carrie quickly pulled her hand from his grasp.
TOM: Shhhhhhweeee... *pop*!
> Bob
> stopped and looked at her. "What's wrong?" he asked, worried. Carrie
> smiled. "Nothing."
JOEL: Bob Guardian, *this* is *your* life!
> she lied, *It's just that I would prefer to stay
> on Hex's good side!* she thought.
CROW: Offer to link to her from your web log.
>
> "Welcome to my Lair." The voice seemed to come from every
> corner of the Throne Room.
JOEL: This is how engineering majors imagine girls' rooms.
> Carrie's eyes darted around, trying to
> find the source. Then she saw it. Just a mask floated above the
> Throne before them.
TOM: WHAT would you have of the mighty Oz?
> There was a slight flash and Hex's form
> materialized,
CROW: Hey, can I learn that trick?
> sitting gracefully on her throne. "I so rarely have
> visitors."
JOEL: She's Solarian.
> She smiled almost evily and Carrie's heart jumped. *Hex
> may be my favorite,
TOM: I'll have to check and get back to you later.
> but she still scares the heck out of me!* Carrie
> thought. Then Hex's mask changed to one of surprise. "Why, I wasn't
> expecting you, Guardian!"
JOEL: If I'd known you were coming I'd have calculated a pi.
> Bob said nothing, but smiled slightly.
> Carrie stifled a smile. *I guess I'm not the only one who isn't
> exactly comfortable around Hex. He's got a good reason, though!*
CROW: They used to be roommates.
>
> Hex turned to Carrie again. "So," she murmered, "one of my
> many fans finally stands up to be counted."
JOEL: Are you one?
TOM: Yes, are you?
> "This is my first time in
> Mainframe."
CROW: Oh, make sure you get to see the Mer-Lion by night.
> Carrie whispered, "I really shouldn't be here."
JOEL: It's supposed to be my day off!
> Hexadecimal looked at Carrie suspitiously. "Why is that?" she asked.
> Carrie swallowed hard. "I'm....uh.....I'm a...." her throat caught
> and she couldn't say anything else.
TOM: Her next word was going to be "Ima."
> Hex laughed quietly. "I know,"
> she said, "You're a User."
CROW: You have it written all over your .plan file.
> Carrie's head snapped up and she stared at
> Hex in shock. Hex laughed again. "You must know that I know just
> about everything that happens in Mainframe."
TOM: She's been port-sniffing.
JOEL: No, she's the *real* Carrie Legault!
*She's* been writing this whole fan fiction!
> She waved her hand
> casually and a familiar purring sounded.
CROW: She digitized a tribble!
> Scuzzy zoomed into the light
> and stopped just in front of Carrie. He tilted forward slightly and a
> picture appeared in the top of his head.
TOM: "The Mighty Thornberries"? What's wrong with you?
> It was Carrie, Dot, Enzo and
> Bob sitting in the diner. Carrie looked up at Hex.
CROW: She has the power to look at flashbacks!
> "I guess I should
> have known that." she said.
>
> "Now!" Hex said, "I know how to get you home." Carrie's eyes
> sparkled.
TOM: Bring me a couple mice, a pumpkin, and my magic wand.
> "Oh! Thank You!!" she spluttered. Hex waved a hand and
> Carrie quickly subsided into silence. "I ask only one thing." she
> said.
JOEL: You must start a Robert Benchley web site for me.
> Carrie said nothing at first. "If I can, I will do what you
> ask." she whispered. Hex laughed, amused. "It isn't as difficult as
> you think." she said,
CROW: Scrub the bathrooms. They're filthy.
> "I want you to tell Megabyte that he still owes
> me ten crystals of neurowine." Carrie stared at Hex momentarily.
TOM: And you have to do it without giggling.
> "Uh...I'll tell him, but I can't ensure he'll listen to me. He has
> already repaid my favor." Hex smiled mischeviously. "Don't worry."
> she whispered, schemingly, "He'll listen."
JOEL: It's not so much conflict and resolution
as much as it is a Reboot Convention.
> A vid-window pinged before
> Carrie and she once again found herself playing the messenger. As
> Megabyte's face appeared on the screen, Carrie suddenly felt her
> confidence returning.
TOM: You'd think being able to direct traffic through
the multiverse would give her more to do with her time.
> He actually wasn't scowling at her for
> intruding. "What can I do for you?" he rumbled. Carrie smiled.
JOEL: She's going to start with Girl Scout cookies
and move up to neurowine crystals.
> "Hexadecimal has asked me to tell you that you still owe her ten
> crystals of neurowine." Megabyte growled audibly. "She won't let
> that drop, will she?" Carrie just shrugged.
CROW: If she lets it drop won't they spill?
TOM: Try to keep up with us, Crow.
> Megabyte pondered her
> request for a nano, then scowled. "Very well.
JOEL: [ As Megabyte ] You've bested me again. Well done.
> It will be sent to her
> by the end of the cycle." Carrie smiled. "Thanks!" she chirped. The
> window closed and Hex smiled down at Carrie.
CROW: He'll be paying them Tuesday for that hamburger today.
>
> "Very well done!" she said, "You certainly have won his
> favor!" Carrie said nothing. "Now, your way home."
TOM: Would you like to take this way home, or would you
like to trade it for what's inside this box?
> Out of nowhere,
> Hexadecimal's Looking Glass suddenly appeared.
JOEL: She's checking if Snow White is still alive.
> The reflective surface
> shivered slightly, and then a room Carrie knew and loved could be seen
> on the other side.
JOEL: If only they looked.
> She gasped in delight. ".....Home!...." she
> murmered.
TOM: Raths...
> She stepped toward the glass, mesmerized.
CROW: Outgabe...
> Then, she
> suddenly remembered something. Turning, she faced her new friend.
TOM: You mean Bob, Hexadecimal, Megabyte, Enzo, Dot,
Phong, Scuzzy, or the binomes?
>
> Bob smiled as their eyes locked. "I'm gonna miss you." Carrie
> whispered.
CROW: I don't know, it seems like getting from the real world
to Mainframe and back is about as hard as catching the
173 bus to the MRT station.
> Bob said nothing at first, then produced a small box.
> Carrie gasped in surprise. "I fixed this for you, and added something
> so you would never forget me."
TOM: Gary Seven uses that to talk with his computer.
> Carrie looked up into his soft brown
> eyes. "I could never forget you." she breathed. "Open it." Bob told
> her.
CROW: Dare you to lick it.
> Her eyes glistening, Carrie lifted the lid on the box. Inside
> sat her necklace with the 'Mouse' charm on it, but now, there was
> another charm beside it.
JOEL: Yellow hearts, blue clovers, green moons --
CROW: Huh?
> A small gold and black inverted icon impaled
> by a rose. "It's beautiful!" Carrie gasped.
TOM: It's... a glam rock tattoo.
> Bob took the necklace
> from the box and gently placed it around her neck. Carrie admired it
> briefly before returning Bob's gaze. "I'll wear it always." she
> whispered.
>
> Bob flashed her his killer smile.
[ ALL gasp, choking, and slump in their seats. ]
> "I'll always wear mine,
> too." he whispered, and gently pulled the gold chain out from
> underneath the coller on his uniform. It almost the same charm as
> Carrie's did,
JOEL: Hey, he copied her file!
> except that the icon was the usual black and white.
CROW: And then shift-clicked it.
> Carrie couldn't hold it any longer. She burst into tears and threw
> her arms around him. Bob returned her embrace, listening to her
> gentle sobs. "I'll never forget you!" Carrie cried.
TOM: Shane! Come back, Shane!
> Bob said nothing
> for a nano, afraid that his voice would reveal his sorrow. "You...you
> better go now."
JOEL: Ah, Louie Louie, aaah... we gotta go.
> he finally stammered. Carrie looked up into his eyes,
> tears glistening on her cheeks. "Thank you," she breathed, "for
> everything."
CROW: She's in Mainframe, she's out of Mainframe, she's in Mainframe,
she's leaving Mainframe, she needs to make up her mind.
>
> She stepped back, smiling. "If I can find a better way," she
> said, "I'll be back." Bob laughed quietly.
TOM: This way seems to be working out fine.
> "Maybe you should feed
> your computer more often, then it won't decide to have you for a
> snack!"
JOEL: I guess we're lucky Carrie's computer didn't just swallow Benny,
her hamster.
> Carrie laughed, and turned to the Looking Glass. "See you
> later!" Bob said. She stepped up to it and started to reach out to it.
> "Wait!" Carrie turned to Bob again.
TOM: Oh, just *go* you big silly.
> He stood in front of her,
> looking directly into her eyes. "Just one more thing to remember me
> by." he whispered.
CROW: Besides the experience, the vampirism, the charms,
and the interdimensional computer portal.
> Carrie froze as he wrapped his arms around her.
> She held her breath as his warm lips pressed gently against hers.
TOM: See, this is how you spread computer viruses.
> She
> couldn't believe this was happening. She wrapped her arms around him
> and gently returned the kiss. Then, suddenly, all her surroundings
> seemed to melt away.
JOEL: Global Warming sinks Mainframe.
>
> * * * * * * * *
> * *
TOM: Even the dumb mice can solve this maze.
>
> Part Twenty-Seven
CROW: Three to the third.
>
> Carrie sat up straight. *Where am I?* she thought.
JOEL: Halfway between H and J.
> Then her
> eyes adjusted to the light. *I'm back home!!* She looked around.
> She was in her room, on her bed.
TOM: It's a good thing she didn't get slurped up into a laptop and back.
> *How long have I been asleep?* she
> wondered. Then it clicked.
TOM: I've *never* been awake!
> "No!" she whispered, "It couldn't have
> been a dream! It was so life-like!"
JOEL: Maybe it was just another holodeck episode?
> She flopped back down, upset and
> depressed at the thought that all her wonderful adventures were merely
> a figment of her overactive imagination.
TOM: What're the odds?
> Suddenly, someone knocked on
> her door.
CROW: Pirates!
>
> "Come in." she moaned.
JOEL: It's somebody looking for Captain Picard.
> Her mother opened the door. "Carrie,
> Robert's at the door looking for you."
CROW: Please. Call him Ted.
> Sighing, Carrie got up and
> went upstairs to see her best friend.
TOM: This is going to make Robert feel good.
> "Hi!" he said. "Hi." Carrie
> sighed, staring at the floor. "What's wrong with you?" he asked. "Oh,
> nothing." Carrie moaned.
JOEL: [ As Bob ] Hey, you're never gonna believe this, but last night
I was fiddling on the computer and I got pulled into the world
of Automan!
> Then she looked up. Surprise registered on
> her face. Behind her best friend stood someone who bore a striking
> resemblance to Guardian Bob in his human form. Robert smiled.
CROW: Do you think Robert Guardien is a person in Carrie's real life?
> "Carrie, I'd like you to meet Bob. He just moved into the apartment
> across from mine last night."
JOEL: And if the landlord ever finds out will *he* be in trouble.
> Carrie stood there, speechless. Bob
> smiled. "Uh...We've met already." He whispered. Finally, Carrie
> snapped out of it. She ran forward and hugged Bob warmly.
TOM: Robert begins to suspect they went to school together or something.
> "See," he
> breathed, "I told you I'd see you again." Carrie looked up into his
> eyes. "But why...." Bob silenced her with a quick kiss.
JOEL: I decided it'd be the cruelest thing I could do to Dot.
> "I'm just
> taking some time off." he said. "I got a friend to look after
> Mainframe for a bit."
TOM: Now, if a nanosecond is to them like one second is to us,
then every minute Bob spends in our world is, like,
nineteen hundred years in theirs.
> Carrie looked at him confused. "A friend?" she
> asked. Bob smiled.
CROW: I didn't know you had friends!
> "Yeah. His name is Symble,
TOM: Actually, over half his names are Symble...
> and he's a great
> guy!"
>
> THE END?
JOEL: Uh ... yes?
TOM: No! No, it's not.
CROW: I'm going to write in "Beethoven."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOEL: I could watch the ocean all day.
>
> Ok! So it isn't a really great ending,
TOM: It's an ending, dear, and that's all we ever want from experiments.
CROW: And we only get one about half the time.
> but it's the only way I
> could come up with to get poor Carrie out of the mess I had her in and
> still let her be happy. If anybody has a better ending, I'd love to
> hear it.
CROW: How about simply accepting not every pleasant fling is meant
to be a lifetime relationship?
JOEL: But they shared so much with Mainframe and Canada and all.
> I know that in the end the characters ended up probably
> being out of character, but, Hey!
TOM: It was the only way they could beat the Kobayashi Maru.
> I was really tapped on how to solve
> Carrie's problem!!
JOEL: Just peek in the back of the book and work it out from there.
> [Without just having her sit up in bed and have it
> all be a dream, 'cause that ending really rots!! :) ]
CROW: What if it turned out there was no monster?
> If anyone has
> a real major problem with it, just tell Max and she'll tell me.
TOM: I have never known anybody named Max.
> Don't
> worry, I don't get mad about things like that. Critisim does more
> good than harm most of the time anyway.
JOEL: That's what they all say ...
ALL: At first.
> Hope you did like it, even
> though it is kinda weird.
>
> This story was taken from a recurring dream I always seem to
> have after going through my collection of fan fics.
CROW: Please. Don't commit acts of fan fiction.
And if you must commit fan fiction, don't sleep.
> I never dream the
> ending though. Which makes me mad, but, can't do anything about it.
TOM: Didn't A.E. Van Vogt have the same technique?
JOEL: And he's Canadian too! We're on to something here.
> I had to make up my own ending 'cause my dreams end even before Carrie
> goes to see Hex!!
CROW: She should set her alarm for about ten minutes later.
> The last part of that dream is when Carrie passes
> out after she attempts to stop the delete command heading for
> Megabyte.
JOEL: Except this one time where they stumbled into Square One Television.
> Everything after that is all my daytime thoughts on how to
> get her out of that mess!!
TOM: That didn't play like most of the daytime television I've seen.
JOEL: Not enough chair-throwing.
> [And besides! Who out there didn't want
> to see her get together with Bob anyway!?! I know I wanted her to get
> the guy!!
CROW: Or Bob. Whoever.
> ;) ]
JOEL: Hey, check it out, a double-chinned smiley.
TOM: A happy Marlon Brando winks.
>
> Hope you liked it!!!
>
> Later, sugah!!
CROW: Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh ... now, honey honey!
>
> 'Mouse' ;)
> (A.K.A. Carrie)
JOEL: Mouse, the sprite named Carrie.
TOM: Versus Carrie, the mouse named Sprite.
CROW: And Sprite, the carry named Mouse.
JOEL: [ Picking up TOM ] Thank you, Carrie, for making us laugh about
the indirect-addressing jump opcode bug .... again.
[ They leave. ]
[ 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. ]
[ SATELLITE OF LOVE DESK. JOEL is counting up cash totals. GYPSY,
CROW, and TOM are anxiously waiting for the winner. ]
CROW: Before today, I really hadn't thought about ReBoot much. I'd
never thought people would dream themselves into it.
TOM: It's understandable. Many's the time I woke up to realize I had
just imagined myself the dashing leader of the Autobots.
CROW: Yeah, right. I betcha he really dreams of being Leader One.
TOM: [ As JOEL giggles ] Hey!
JOEL: And Gypsy I bet --
GYPSY, JOEL: Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.
CROW: What about you, Joel?
JOEL: [ Looking up ] Now and then I picture myself as host of "Saturday
Night Live" ... I'm standing there on stage, giving the monologue
... one of the cast members just stood up as an audience member
and asked a question and I'm staring out into the cameras and
wading through the dead silence and I start walking out and
feeling despair over what's become of the show.
TOM: We all feel that. Now I remember one particularly vivid night
I dreamed I was standing on a beach with Shaggy and Scooby-Doo
as the tide was rolling in ... I wanted to climb up the rocks
and get away from the water, but none of us could move as the
water rose ever-higher ... and I kinda liked it that way.
GYPSY: Sometimes I dream I'm Popeye. But Crow is Olive Oyl.
TOM: Hah hah!
[ JOEL grins. ]
CROW: Hey!
MAGIC VOICE: My favorite dreams are when I'm narrating Bullwinkle.
JOEL: Fess up, Crow, what's yours?
CROW: I'm alone in this open curved cement walkway. Suddenly I turn
around and there's a studio audience and a refrigerator. Bob
Barker is standing there and he opens the fridge. It's almost
all full of men's shirts inside plastic boxes, but there are a
couple misshapen oranges and limes that look like bananas there.
He explains he's giving me a target price and I have to pick out
something in there that's under that price. The target price is
14 dollars, 95 cents ... and I look hard at the shirts and the
oranges and the limes and I see there's a label pasted on the
fruits, 35 cents each.
So I ask, I just pick out any single thing that's less than
14.95, and he says yes, and I look again and the price tags are
still on and it makes no sense. I start to ask again but the
audience is booing me and I pick the lemon. Bob asks me to
repeat it and I do and the audience boos louder. He asks if I
really want it and I nod and the audience boos and he tells them
they should let me make my pick whatever it is, and he asks one
last time if I want to change my mind.
But I don't, and he reveals the price card, and the lime is 35
cents and the music starts up like I've won and the audience is
mad and Bob waves for it all to stop and says now we play the
super round if I want, and I start to say yes but the audience
boos so loud I say no, and that just makes them boo *louder*.
Bob gives me another chance but I just want to get out as soon
as I possibly can.
JOEL: Wow.
GYPSY: Creepy.
TOM: I like Carrie Legault's TV show dreams better.
JOEL: Me too.
CROW: Yeah. But in the Showcase Showdown my bid's only four dollars
low and I win both showcases, so mine's cool too.
GYPSY: So who wins the game?
JOEL: [ Tapping the pad ] By forty dollars and the Atlantic City
edition of Monopoly --
ALL: [ Quickly, facing the camera for just the word ] Huh?
JOEL: ... Cambot!
TOM: [ As CAMBOT nods ] Fix!
[ MADS SIGN flashes. ]
JOEL: Can't please everybody. What do you think, sirs?
[ JOEL taps MADS SIGN. ]
[ DEEP 13. DR. FORRESTER and TV's FRANK are still stuck back-to-back. ]
FRANK: What if we just took off our shirts?
DR. F: One of my life's goals is to never see you shirtless.
FRANK: What if you took yours off?
DR. F: Another is that you never see me shirtless.
FRANK: This is just like a dream I had about The Odd Couple.
DR. F: I've never dreamed myself into anything besides 60 Minutes.
FRANK: If we get a little cereal residue in a water pistol,
I bet we could make a tractor beam out of Cheerios!
DR. F: It's time, Frank.
[ DR. FORRESTER and TV's FRANK shuffle around backwards. Then
DR. FORRESTER starts jumping backwards, not making TV's FRANK
move in the least. ]
DR. F: [ As he jumps back ] Come ... on! Push ... the ... button!
FRANK: Oh!
[ TV's FRANK leans forward, as DR. FORRESTER jumps back and rolls
off, towards the camera and into another table and ... ]
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\|/
----o----
/|\
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its characters and situations
are the creation of Best Brains, Inc. "Breaking the Barriers" is by
Carrie Legault and used with permission. Reboot and its characters and
situations are the property of Mainframe Entertainment, if I don't miss
my guess. The MiSTing as a whole is the creation of Joseph Nebus.
Despite Gypsy's claim they would follow the standard rules, the Monopoly
game represented herein followed the time-limited rule variation. The
management apologizes for any confusion. Times change, and newspapers
evolve.
> Hexadecimal laughed. "You see, brother?" she said, "I, too,
> have a following."