sorta-[MiSTied] A Dr. Plutonium Christmas
Michael K. Neylon
just plain weird that it had to be posted. Note that the 'carols'
were really posted by Ludwig Plutonium in (at least) the sci.chem
group. - Mike]
[...in the middle of an experiment, Mike and the bots are dresses in
warm winter clothing, and each has a caroling book in his hands. As
we join them, they are finishing a song, music provided by Cambot...]
ALL: Fa la la la la, la la...la...la!
MIKE: Good job, you guys!
CROW: Hey, I never knew caroling could be so much fun!
TOM: It really brings out that ...that warm, Christmas feeling in me.
[light flashes]
MIKE: Hey, look, the Mads are calling. [hits the like]
[D13 - Dr.F and Frank are also dressed for the winter, although you can
still see their lab coats underneath. The camera view is such that not
all of D13 can be seen yet.]
DR.F: Bah! You call that caroling?
FRANK: Yea! I mean, what originality is there in singing 'Deck the Halls'
every year.
DR.F: We'll shown you what caroling is all about! First, let me introduce
our little group...[moves over as camera pans out on rest of D13
to reveal a small group of familar faces...Torgo, Jan in the Pan,
Jerry & Sylvia, etc...each dressed as with Dr.F and Frank, and
each also with a songbook in hand (where appropriate)]
DR.F: We've dug out a few carol of our own, written by Dr. Plutonium
himself. I think you'll be mightly impressed with these.
[Pulls out a voice tune, plays it, and motions for the group to hum
afterwords. Of course, they make an awful din, but they finally arrive
near the same note. Then, with Dr. F leading....]
>[ Play SCIENCE DAY with the same music as Silent Night by F. Gruber
>and as performed by the synthesized music of Mannheim Steamroller
>singing with these lyrics.]
> Silent Day, Atomic day!
> All is calm, all is bright
> Around the protons are electrons
> Hadrons Strong Nuclear
> Live in our electron universe,
> Live in our electron universe
>
> Science Day, Atomic day!
> Electromagnetism
> at the sight
> Coulomb Interaction from thy Protons
> Math harmonize with the spheres
> Atom Plutonium is identified, Plutonium is identified!
>
> Atom Plutonium at thy nucleosynthesis,
> Plutonium at thy birth!
>
> Science Day, Atomic day!
> Electromagnetism
> is pure light
> Radioactive-growth thy Nucleus
> On the day of December 14
> Atom Plutonium at thy birth,
> Atom Plutonium is nucleosynthesized!
>[ Play O ATOMIC DAY with the lyrics by A. Plutonium and the same music
>of O Holy Night by A. Adam. Sung to the best version I have heard of
>O Holy Night done by the artist Harvey Reid.]
> O Atomic Day the sun is brightly shining
> it is the day of thou Plutonium identification
> Long lay the world in radioactive-thought-decay
> until the Atom Whole appeared and life saw its worth.
> A thrill of hope working humanity rejoices
> for yonder starts the morning of December 14.
> Jump! out of bed, O hear the Protons calling!
> O day, Atomic, O day, When Plutonium was identified!
> O day, O Atomic day, O day Atomic
> O day, Atomic, O day, When Plutonium was nucleosynthesized!
>
> Truly it teaches us physics and math,
> its laws are science and its language is that of math
> Chemistry does it teach us,
> and in its name plutonium all wisdom comes forth
> Sweet songs of joy in gratitude raise we,
> let all within it praise its atomic name
> Atom plutonium is the Whole
> O praise to Atom Plutonium forever.
> Its nuclear strong and radioactivities interaction are forever
> Its nuclear strong and radioactivities interaction are forever
>
>[Show this set-up of the periodic chart and play the music of the
>HALLELUJAH CHORUS by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir with the Philadelphia
>Symphony Orchestra lead by Eugene Ormandy.
> Superposition the new lyrics given as follows:
> ATOM PLUTONIUM CHORUS
> lyrics by A. Plutonium
> using the same music by G.F. Handel
>______________________________________________________]
>ATOMPLUTONIUM, ATOMPLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM,
>ATOM PLUTONIUM
>ATOMPLUTONIUM, ATOMPLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM,
>ATOM PLUTONIUM
>FOR THE ATOM HAS INFINITE POTENTIAL
>PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, FOR THE ATOM HAS INFINITE
>POSSIBILITIES
>PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, FOR THE ATOM HAS
>INFINITE POTENTIAL
>FOR THE ATOM HAS INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.
>A DOT OF THE ELECTRON PROBABILITY DENSITY DISTRIBUTION OF THE 5F6 FOR
>THE LAST ELECTRON OF 231PU IS THE PLANET EARTH, ANOTHER DOT IS YOU,
>ANOTHER DOT ME. AND ATOMS WILL NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE FOREVER AND EVER,
>AND ATOMS WILL NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE FOREVER AND EVER, AND ATOMS WILL
>NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE FOREVER AND EVER,
>AND ATOMS WILL NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE FOREVER AND EVER.
>ATOM OF ATOMS, FOREVER AND EVER, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, AND ATOM OF
>ATOMS, FOREVER AND EVER, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, ATOM OF ATOMS, FOREVER
>AND EVER,
>PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, AND ATOM OF ATOMS, FOREVER AND EVER,
>PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, ATOM OF ATOMS, FOREVER AND EVER,
>PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, AND ATOM OF ATOMS, ATOM OF ATOMS, FOREVER AND
>EVER, AND ATOMS WILL NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE FOREVER AND EVER. ATOM OF ATOMS
>AND ATOM OF ATOMS, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, AND ATOM OF ATOMS, FOREVER AND
>EVER, AND ATOMS WILL NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE FOREVER AND EVER. ATOM OF ATOMS
>AND ATOM OF ATOMS, ATOM OF ATOMS, AND ATOMS WILL NUCLEOSYNTHESIZE
>FOREVER AND EVER. PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM, PLUTONIUM.
>ATOMPLUTONIUM!
>[---- { then, as a tonal prayer... } ]
>PLUTONIUM ATOM TOTALITY, WHICH WE ARE TINY PARTS OF YOUR LAST ELECTRON.
>HADRONS, HADES WAS YOUR FIRST NAME.
>THY GEOMETRY COME, THY WILL BE DONE,
>ON EARTH AS IT IS IN THE NUCLEUS.
>GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD
>AND PROMPT US INTO EVER HEAVIER ELEMENT NUCLEOSYNTHESIS
>AS WE PROMPT OTHERS TO DO THE SAME.
>AND LEAD US NOT INTO RADIOACTIVE DECAY,
>BUT INSTEAD, RADIOACTIVE GROWTH.
>FOR THINE IS THE GEOMETRY,
>THE SPACE, AND THE QUANTUM INTERACTIONS, FOREVER. ATOM
[The group bows their heads in reverance. After a short moment,
Dr.F breaks away, and returns to the camera.]
Dr.F: What do you think, boobies?
[SoL]
[Mike, Crow, Tom, and Gypsy are all standing wide-eyed and with their
mouths agap. For a while, all that is heard is the 'ping'ing of the
background machinery. Finally...]
CROW: Hey, guys, how about a rousing round of 'A Patrick Sywzey Christmas'?!
It's better than anything the Mads can do.
MIKE: [weakly] Hehe...we'll be right back. [hits commerical sign]
...
----
Copyright 1994 Michael K. Neylon. This is in no way meant to cause insult
or mental anguish to Ludwig Plutonium, and is only meanth in jest.
MST3K characters Copyright BBI.
--
Michael K. Neylon, Graduate Student | Movie: "What is it?"
Dept. of ChE, Univ. of Michigan | Crow: "It's a plot device.
mne...@engin.umich.edu | It's flimsy, so be
http://www.engin.umich.edu/labs/mel/mneylon/ | careful" - MST3K
Todd Gilbert
(Michael K. Neylon) wrote:
<snip>
Wow, that brings back memories.
My high school physics teacher (one Mr. White, of
Williamsville North) had a collection of
Physics Carols he distributed on mimeo each year.
They were great (actually, much better than the ones
quoted here). Wish I still had them.
My favorite was "o-scillo-scope"
Todd (Mr. White, are you out there!) Gilbert
--
tgil...@salsa.abq.bdm.com The owls are not what they seem
or sgil...@lan.bdm.com And neither are the penguins
<I speak for the only person I can speak for>
o/~ "Ignorance and prejudice and fear walk hand in hand"
Rush, from Witchhunt
"I would like to have an experience, and be part of that experience."
A woman on CNN shopping at a lingerie store/Buddhist temple
R. N. Dominick
: My high school physics teacher (one Mr. White, of
: Williamsville North) had a collection of
: Physics Carols he distributed on mimeo each year.
: They were great (actually, much better than the ones
: quoted here). Wish I still had them.
I once lived in a house with a couple who had attended the same high
school chemistry class. I learned some Chemistry Carols, the only one of
which I remember I will now sing... just for you.
O Chemistry
O Chemistry
A chemist I will never be
O Chemistry
O Chemistry
A chemist I will never be
From moles to mass, I do just fine
But mass to moles just blows my mind
O Chemistry
O Chemistry
A chemist I will never be.
--r.
(I wish I could remember "Deck the Halls (with bunsen burners)" and "My
Lab Coat's On Fire", but I can't.)
Clarinda Carrington
>[Ok, so there isn't any real MiSTiable material in this. But its
>just plain weird that it had to be posted. Note that the 'carols'
>were really posted by Ludwig Plutonium in (at least) the sci.chem
>group. - Mike]
LOL! Great MiSTing, or sort-of MiSTing! Not only did it warm the
cockles of my heart, but below that, the sub-cockle area too. (ref that)
<Ha! She said REF! Ha!>
On a related note -- did anybody else sing this song when the were young over
and over until an adult bonked them on the head? (Alright, for me it was last
week, but let's not nitpick, okay?)
To the tune of We Three Kings:
We three kings of orient are
Found and smoked a big cigar
It was loaded it explo-o-ded.
<BOOM>
We two kings of orient are
Found and smoked a big cigar
It was loaded it explo-o-ded
<BOOM>
I one king of orient are
Found and smoked a big cigar
It was loaded it explo-o-ded
<BOOM>
Si-i-lent night, holy night...
Clarinda
Roger M. Wilcox
>> Electromagnetism
>> at the sight
>> Coulomb Interaction from thy Protons
>> Math harmonize with the spheres
>> Atom Plutonium is identified, Plutonium is identified!
[many, many more awful, unrhyming, incorrect-number-of-syllables verses,
and carols, deleted]
Ugh. I know you didn't MST these songs directly, but you should've.
"Math harmonize with the spheres" (in the 20th century?) indeed.
--
Roger M. Wilcox rog...@cisco.com (a.k.a. tra...@netcom.com)
------------------- I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low. ----------------
"Of all the tall tales, I think my favorite is the one about Eli Whitney and
the interchangeable parts." -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey [SNL]