MiSTing: "Hail to the Queen" [PG, STNG, Marrissa] (8/9]

[Matthew R Blackwell]

[1. . . 2. . . 3. . . 4. . . 5. . . 6 . . . ]

[Mike and the Bots enter the Bridge, which is now full of
people.]
Mike: What the. . .? Tom, you didn't rent the satellite to the
Heaven's Gate people again?
Tom: No, they're not supposed to be here until next week.
Mike: Well, what the heck is going on then?
Tom: Gee Mike, calm down.
Crow: Yeah Mike. You're going to burst a blood vessel or
something.
[Next to Crow, a balding man materializes out onto the bridge.]
EMH: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Mike: There's no medical emergency. These two are just over
reacting.
EMH: Surely someone here has a medical emergency.
Crow: Well, Mike snores sometimes.
Mike: I do not! [To the EMH] Look, I don't know why you're
here. This ship is supposed to only have one person and
three robots on it. We've got no need for a doctor! A
mechanic, maybe, but not a doctor.
EMH: I see.
[The EMH disappears, and reappears a moment later, this time
dressed in a jumpsuit similar to Mike's, but covered in
grease.]
EMH: Please state the nature of the mechanical emergency.
[Mike shakes his head and grabs a passer-by.]
Mike: Excuse me, but. . .
Crewman #1: Oh, hi there Captain!
Crow: Captain?
Tom: I think he's talking to Mike.
Crow: [Sarcastically] Oh, really?
Tom: Well, yeah. When I mustered out of the Vengosian Navy, I
was a Commodore, so they must be talking to Mike.
[Mike stares at Tom for a moment before turning back to the
Crewman.]
Mike: Yeah, I guess that I'm the Captain here. Who are you?
Crewman #1: I'm your helmsman, a na久e Ensign on his first
cruise.
[A second crewman walks up to Mike.]
Crewman #2: And I'm his best friend, an ex-con with a heart of
gold, who's assisting you on your mission ,Captain.
[A third member of the crew walks up, this one has tattoos on
the side of his face.]
Crewman #3: And I'm. . .
Mike: Never mind. I don't care who you are.
[Mike turns to the bots.] Goodman must have something to
do with this.
[Mike turns to the crew and points to the Bridge's window.]
Look! A sub-space anomaly!
[The crew gasps, and rush over to the window. The EMH goes with
them. Mike shakes his head and then hits the communication
light.]

[The Studio]
[Well, it used to be the studio. But now it resembles a small,
messy apartment. Posters of people skiing adorn one wall. In
front of the viewscreen is a young man with long, blonde hair,
wearing a ski cap.]
Chip: Mikedude! Hey, glad to see you again!

[SoL]
[Mike looks at the bots, who shrug.]
Mike: Nice to see you too. [pause] Who are you?

[Apartment]
Chip: Mikedude! I'm like, really bummed out that we haven't
been able to get you down from there yet! But alas, our
rent's due , and Topher's locked in the bank vault with
our money and that sexy stewardess that he's had his eye
on. So, Christo is looking for. . .
[The doorbell rings]
Chip: Dude! Our landlord! Gotta hide!
[Chip rushes about frantically before hiding in the closet.
Moments later, the door opens and Pearl, dressed in a sweater
and a pair of pants.]
Pearl: [Flatly] Chip? Topher? Christo? I need your rent check.
Are you here?
Chip: [Muffled] We're not here!

[SoL]
Mike: Pearl! Finally! Someone sane!
Crow: Loosely speaking, of course.
Mike: Well, that goes without saying. What's going on around
here?

[Apartment]
Pearl: [Flatly] Say, I think that I'll just sit here and wait
for Chip to come back home.
[Rustling noises are heard in the closet. Pearl scans the room
for a second and then moves in close to the screen and speaks
softly in her normal tone of voice.]
Pearl: Hi Mike. Herb decided that the viewers couldn't relate
to us, so he decided that a trio of wacky, fun-loving
snowboarders should be accidentally sending you the
movies.
[Forcedly] I'm the boys' mean landlord. Oh, and he has
Brain guy doing hemorrhoid ads. [She shrugs.] That's
kind of bad for him, I guess.

[SoL]
Tom: What happened to Bobo?

[Apartment]
Pearl: [Sighs] He'll be here in a second.
[The door flies open. Bobo's now dressed like Kramer with the
fur on the top of his head is arranged in Kramer style.]
Bobo: Hey Pearl! Does Chip have any walnuts?
Pearl: I. Don't. Know.
Bobo: How about a pressure cooker? [He begins to root around in
the kitchen.]
Pearl: [Leans closer to the screen.] Mike, get me out of here.
I'll take you back to Earth. I'll stop showing you bad
movies. I'll do anything. Just get me out of here.

[SoL]
Mike: No more bad movies? Hmmm. [Pause.] Okay, you've got a
deal. Crow, think that you can handle this one?
Crow: Sure Mike. I'll just grab a Powerbook, a can of silly
string, and my chainsaw, then. . .
[Babe enters the scene.]
Babe: You! Gold one! I wish to explore my violent feelings!
Come with me!
[Crow screams in horror and tries to run away, but Babe grabs
him by his head thingee and drags him off stage. Moments later,
we hear Crow's shrieks of terror intermingled with the sound
out metal clashing on metal. Mike looks in the direction that
the pair disappeared, nods and then turns to Tom.]
Mike: Okay Tom. Your turn.
Tom: Right! GROOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLL!!!!!!!
[With a growl of fury, Tom rushes off the stage. After a
moment, Tom rambles back into view.]
Mike: Well? How'd it go?
Tom: Well, I rushed into Herb's office and told him that we
weren't going to be his little pawns anymore.
Mike: [Pause] And?
Tom: You know, he's really a nice guy. . .
Mike: [Burying his head in his hands] Tom. . .
Tom: Do you know what merchandising is Mike? It's a really cool
thing. See, he gave me a box of cool stuff. There's a Tom
Servo Coffee mug, a Tom Servo T-shirt, Tom Servo
keychains, Tom Servo boxing robots, Tom Servo funny foam,
Tom Servo gardening tools, Tom Servo fire extinguishers. .
[Tom continues to describe the various items. Mike looks back
to the camera.]
Mike: I guess that it's up to me then. Well, I've got a plan to
free you, Pearl.[The lights begin to flash.] But, darn.
It looks like that'll have to wait until after we're done
with the story. [He grins evilly] Gee, I could have freed
you now if you hadn't sent us this literary masterpiece.
Have fun with the snowboarders!

[He hits the light and the door sequence begins.]

[6. . . 5. . . 4 . . . 3 . . .2 . . . 1 . . .]

[Mike enters, carrying Tom, who is still talking.]
Tom: And Tom Servo Lunchpails, and Tom Servo Disposable
Toilets, and Tom Servo Brand SSMs, and . . .
Mike: I get the idea Tom. Say, where's Crow?
[Suddenly, a scream is heard in the theater. Crow's been thrown
through the air and he impacts against the screen before slowly
sliding down the screen to the ground. ]
Babe: [Outside the theater] Thank you for your help Gold One!
[Crow picks himself off the floor and slowly seats himself.]
Crow: Mike, your plan better work cause I'm not going through
another session of that.
Mike: Relax, the plan's already in motion.

>
>From rto...@direct.ca Fri Jan 09 14:02:53 1998
>Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
>Subject: NEW Hail to the Queen 4/4 [PG] (TNG, Marrissa
Stories)
>From: Ron Tonts <rto...@direct.ca>
>Date: Fri, 09 Jan 1998 20:02:53 +0000
>
>
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>Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1; x-mac-
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>
> Chapter 9
>
> Sitting there on her throne of iron,

Crow: Wondering where the heck the Borg kept the Charmin...

> Marrissa had fires
>blazing in her eyes every bit as intense as a star. Despite
>the tubes protruding from various parts of her body, she still
>drew eyes to her untouched face.

Tom: [Marrissa] Look at me!! LOOK AT ME!!!!!

> Her skin glistened with days
>of accumulated sweat, and her once fair blond hair was
>streaked with grime and oil. Her voice boomed as if it
>was possessed by a goddess, despite its lack of use.

[All snicker.]
Mike: Oh yeah. Marrissa *never* uses her voice.

> "Foolish individuals," stated the Queen, "you dare to
>confront the Queen of the Borg?

Crow: Any minute now, she's gonna jump on a broom and write
"Surrender Kids' Crew" in the air.

> Your biological and
>technological distinctiveness will be added to our own.
>Standby for assimilation."

Tom: And stand by. . . . . for news!

> The Borg refrain coming from Marrissa's lips chilled
>Jay to the core of his being. Despite every instinct telling
>him to get as far away from this place as possible, Jay stood
>his ground.

Mike: Mainly because Jay has all the survival instincts of a
refrigerator magnet.

> Drawing a breath, he prepared to confront his
>former wife.

Crow: I want my record collection back!

> "Marrissa, don't you recognise us? It's Jay, Clara,
>Shayna, and Alex. We're here to rescue you," he announced.
> "Rescue me?

Tom: o/~ Oh take me in your arms. Rescue me. . . o/~

> Why would I require rescuing?" she asked.
>With a mechanical zip,

Crow: Oooh, a Zip Drive!
Tom: Yeah, when you're Borg, you can afford the best.
Mike: That reminds me, how's your 5 1/4" drive, Tom?
Tom: Slow, Nelson, really slow!

> the implants connecting Marrissa to her
>chair withdrew.
>The freedom of movement was granted to her, and she stood to
>face the Starfleet Officers.

Mike: [Marrissa] Can I get anyone a drink?

> "I am about to invade Earth, crush Starfleet, and come
>closer to attaining order for the galaxy," she announced.

Tom: [announcer] See it *live* on "When Kids' Crews Attack" -
Tuesday on Fox!

> Undaunted by her stubbornness, Jay continued, "Don't
>you remember who I am? I'm Jay, your husband. We have a
>daughter. Do you remember Sarah?

Mike: You might be serving her as dinner at somepoint in the
future. . .

> We both love you Marrissa.
>Come back to us. We love you!"

Tom: o/~ We love you Ri-isa, oh yes we do.
We love you Risa, and we'll be true. . . o/~

> Upon hearing this, the intense glare of Marrissa's eyes
>wavered and softened. She lost her balance and had to grip
>the armrest of her throne. A tear welled up and began to
>travel down her cheek.

Crow: And somewhere in the background, that stupid Celine Dion
song is playing again!

> She opened her mouth to speak again.
>Her jaw was unsteady, and the words were pronounced slowly.

Crow: "Bite. Me. Dickweed?"

> "You ... love me?" the shaken Queen asked. As Jay
>nodded his head in confirmation, she began to speak again.

Mike: Feed my sheep.
Tom: Huh?
Mike: It's a Biblical reference - look it up.

> "Love ... is irrelevant.

Crow: Well, I never heard that "Love Is" before.

> You will be assimilated without
>any further delay."

Mike: Right after this commercial message.

> Her balance was regained, and her jaw was set. The
>softening visage of the Queen had solidified into the ruthless
>face of a swallower of souls.

Tom: Well, she's back to normal, then.

> The transformation put Jay and his friends in
>shock, allowing the Borg to make the next move.
> Marrissa threw an arm out in a dramatic motion that
>encased the four people inside a force field bubble. Pulling
>out her hip disrupter,

Crow: Man! That disruptor's so hip, it can't see over its own
pelvis!

> the Queen used it to vaporise the door
>holding back her drones. They entered the room only to find
>the threat ended.

Mike: [Borg] Darn, that didn't work eith- I mean, we're
certainly glad you're all right, your highness.

> With the threat to herself and her ship over, Marrissa
>turned to the viewscreen.

Tom: [British] And when we say "You will be assimilated without
any further delay", we mean there will be *some* delay
involved.

> With a creak of hydraulics and
>motors, the screen split into halves and slid into the wall.
>Located behind the screen was a ring-shaped device.

Tom: And here at the Shane Company, each ring that we
manufacture is a unique creation, whether it's a
wedding ring, an engagement ring, or a time travel device.

> It was
>about two meters in diameter, and was glowing a silver colour
>along its circumference. With a sweeping gesture from the
>Queen, the device flared to life.

Crow: [Marrissa] Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the most
tyrannical of them all?

> The centre of the ring
>filled with an odd liquid that suspended itself in the centre.
>Rippling along its own little plane,

Mike: Here's the World War I Flying Ace, in his Sopwith Camel,
commanding the skies!
Tom: [makes ek-ek-ek-ek sounds]
Mike: Oh no! He's been hit! CURSE YOU, RED BORGQUEEN!!!

> the liquid changed from a
>solid silver to a mirror of Marrissa's room. The mirror then
>refocused on what looked like another part of the Borg ship.

Tom: [Marrissa] I bet that little tramp Cindy Ann Borg has been
talking about me behind my back! We'll just see about
that!

> Inside the bubble Jay looked on with worry, "Clara,
>what is that thing?" he fretted.

Mike: A Tantalus Device?

> "I'm not sure," Clara said with curiosity edging her
>voice, "the tricorder says the liquid in the middle is a
>concentrated form of Chroniton Particles."

Crow: A Guardian of Forever?
Tom: Or a new Slurpee flavor.

> "Time Travel?" Jay deduced, "But why would they want to
>do that?

Mike: Unless... Good lord! The Borg must be responsible for the
Cubs' losses in the World Series!

>They've destroyed their opposition and Earth is just a few
>thousand kilometres away."
> "Because the present amount of drones is not acceptable
>to complete the assimilation of your planet," Marrissa's cold
>voice interrupted. "By retrieving drones from the destroyed
>Borg ships, we can replenish the force without requiring
>assistance from additional units."

Crow: Um, can't they just make *new* drones as they go?
Mike: Shhhh - you'll disturb the plot device.

> As if on queue, a drone dropped out of the portal,
>landing flat on the deck. After depositing about thirty
>drones,

Mike: ...for the next three minutes...

> the portal shimmered and changed its view to another
>interior of a cube. During the switch, Marrissa's face
>contorted in concentration.

Crow: [Marrissa] What's that song running through my head?
Deedeedeedada, deedeedeedada, dumdumdumdumdadadum...

> After the view change, she
>seemed to be physically drained by the effort. Lights
>flickered around the room, and the force bubble made a high
>pitched whine.

Tom: [Henry Fonda] That's the sound of the ambassador's phone
melting!

> This did not go unnoticed by the captive
>officers who began to formulate an escape plan.

Crow: [Jay] Clara, lie on the cot and act sick. Alexander, when
Marrissa comes in to check on her, choke her with the
fishing wire! Any questions?
Tom: [Alex] We don't have a cot, or a wire, and Marrissa
doesn't care if we live or die.
Crow: [Jay] Crap! Okay, plan B: we beg like terriers for our
lives!

> "Did you see that? She must use a fantastic amount of
>power on that device. This bubble must lose some amount of
>power when she alters the time setting.

Mike: Remember to set your Borg Drone ahead one hour.

> I bet that we can use the phasers to get out of here when
>she shifts the setting again." Clara whispered.

Tom: Or we could phaser our way through the floor. [pause] Nah.
That'll never work.

> The team slowly drew their phasers as another thirty
>drones dropped to the deck and lurched out of the room.

All: [Lurch] You rang? You rang? Uhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes, Mr. Addams.
You rang?

> The
>portal once again altered itself to another view. Marrissa
>was drained to the extreme by this shift, and settled back
>into her chair.

Crow: [Archie Bunker] Hey, Dingbat, bring me a beer, hah?!?

> The mechanical zipper sounded again,

Tom: Marrissa's fly was down?

> and masked
>the sound of phasers breaking through the bubble. As the
>group emerged from their prison, the portal began to discharge
>more drones.

Tom: [Ben Stein] So call, write, or E-mail futility-dot-com in
the hopes that on some planet, on some distant day, you
might [reverb effect] WiWin BeBen StStein's
MoMoneyneyneyney.
Crow: Cool reverb, Tom!
Tom: [still reverbing] ThThanksksksks. Oooooopspspsp. [click,
reverb off] Thanks.

> Sounds from the doorway indicated that there were
>drone on the way across the bridge as well.
> Bringing their EMP Rifles to bear,

Mike: Great big huge rabid grizzly bears with hangovers that -
Tom: We finished that section already, Mike.
Mike: Oh, sorry.

> the Away Team began to
>knock down drones pouring in from the two locations. Clara
>and Alex began dispatching the drones from the portal, Shayna
>was defending the entrance to the room, and Jay was lending
>help where he could.

Crow: Mainly he distracted them by running around in a blind
panic.

> The termination of the drones registered
>to Marrissa as if one of her limbs had fallen asleep.

Mike: So she picked up a drone and started shaking him.

> The faint numbness made her stir in the throne, and
>flicker her eyes open.

Tom: They stuck her implant in a bowl of warm water, and...

> Seeking to protect her children, she
>drew her disrupter and aimed it at the group.
> Shayna vaporised in a silent flash of light.

[More balloons continue to fall from the ceiling. It's now
getting a bit crowded in the theater.]
Crow: The light was silent, but Shayna's cries of agony were
really, really loud.

> This went
>without notice until five drones had entered the room.

Crow: Hey, wasn't Shayna with us?
Tom: Ah, who knows?

> Jay
>brought his rifle around just in time to end the existence of
>four more drones. The fifth lived long enough to implant its
>nanoprobes into Clara's neck. She screamed, Jay fired, and
>the drone clunked down to the deck. Clara stood intoxicated
>for a moment,

Tom: [blearily] I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

> then followed the drone to the deck.
>

[More balloons. The bots' silhouettes are nearly masked by the
balloons]
Mike: But she missed the deck and began to fly.

> The world around Alexander Rozhenko melted away. His
>fallen wife was the only planet in the universe,

Tom: Alex was married to a planet?
Crow: [as minister] Alex, do you take Jupiter to be your
lawfully wedded wife?

> and he was
>pulled by her gravity.

Crow: Wow! That's almost profound - in a weird sort of way.

> Alex watched as his wife's beautiful
>face was clouded by grey streaks, and he began the Klingon
>death howl.
>

Crow: But enough about Wu-Tang Clan.
Mike: And enough about musical comparison jokes, already!
Tom: I think he's overreacting to her liver spots.

> Marrissa smiled to herself as her friend's mind became a
>part of the Collective. She found herself curious and began
>sifting through the unconscious woman's mind as if it were a
>cluttered room.

Tom: [Marrissa] My curling iron! I *knew* I loaned it to her!

> Beneath all the fuzz of thoughts and ideas,
>Marrissa found the memories of the assimilated woman.

Tom: [as Marrissa] Clara! You never told me about your affair
with Jay!

> The ideas
>hit her in a rush, she could see herself through another's
>eyes.

Tom: [Marrissa] I'm *that* terrifying and evil?!? Cool Beans!!!

> She and this woman knew each other, before Marrissa
>became the Queen of the Borg, and the Queen was happy in her
>past life.

Mike: She'd forgotten how much fun it was to boss her friends
and elders around.
Crow: Yeah, it's much more satisfying when your victims can
squirm a little.

> The revelation of this stunned Marrissa. The
>Collective said she had been taken for granted, her values,
>emotions, and passions had been warped.

Mike: Well, the last part's right, at least.

> If this was a lie,
>how much else was? She mentally screamed to the Collective to
>speak with her.
>

Tom: [Marrissa] I know you're there! Pick up, you wimps!!
Crow: [Borg] "Assimilate Marrissa," you said! "We can control
her," you said!

> In the scene before the Queen, the battle reached its
>turning point. Alex sobbed over the loss of his wife, and
>ignored the few drones closing in.

Crow: DEBBIE!
Mike: Clara, Crow. Clara.

> Jay had his own hands full,

Crow: Weeping and pleading.

> repelling Borg
>emerging from the time portal and ones entering from the
>doorway. All seemed lost, until Alex stood.

Crow: Weenie-boy to the rescue!

> His mourning period had passed, and a red curtain

Tom: So the Borg assimilated a theater somewhere along the
line then?

> of rage
>lowered itself across his eyes.

Tom: Unfortunately, it clashed horribly with the off-white
carpeting of hysteria and the teal upholstery of despair.

> His rifle was now lying where
>he dropped it in his rush to Clara's side. Reaching for his
>kut'luch

Mike: Good night everybody!

> strapped to his back, Alex slid into a defensive
>stance.

Mike: Get ready for... MORTAL KOMBAT!

> The first two drones stumbled right in and were
>dispatched with a horizontal slash, followed by an overhead
>cut. Another duo attacked and were dispatched with ease.

Mike: This *is* the same Alexander who can't hold a sword
straight on DS9, right?

>Despite the danger, Alex found the combat more calm and paced
>than when he and his father trained on board General Martok's
>ship. He smiled as three more opponents kissed the floor.

Tom: Kiss the floor, baby! *Mwah!*

> The
>adrenaline rushing through his veins prevented him from
>feeling the pain of an over-extended ligament. It also let
>him ignore the tiny pinpricks adorning his hand.

Crow: The tattoo artist of death claims Alexander.
Tom: We shall attack you with pins. Resistance is futile.

>After a brief moment, Alex's mind began to cloud with the
>thoughts and memories of his wife, of his crewmates on the
>Enterprise, and of thousands of others he didn't know.

Mike: Rick Berman, Jeri Taylor...
Crow: Margaret Chase Smith, Billy Graham...
Tom: Al Capone, Salmon P. Chase...
Mike: Joe Garagiola, Minnie Driver...
Crow: Nefertiti, Methuselah...
Tom: Stephen Ratliff, Rob Tonts...

> He was
>vaguely aware of his fate as he began to fade from
>consciousness. With his remaining ounce of strength, he
>pulled the pin from one of his photon grenades. Satisfied
>he had done his part, Alex let himself drift away from the hot
>and smelly world around him.

Mike: Goodbye, New Jersey!

> It had been a good day to die.
>

Crow: It had been St. Swithin's Day!

> Despite the racket caused by the dropping drones, Jay
>managed to hear the photon grenade's arming tone quite
>clearly. Looking Alex's direction, he could see both of his
>friends were on the floor, bordered by drones in a similar
>state.

Mike: They're totally baked, man!
Tom: Dude! Got any munches?

> He could also see the blinking
>light of the grenade in Alex's bandoleer. Proceeding to his
>fallen friends, eliminating any drones that showed themselves,

Mike: [British] These drones have not learned how not to be
seen.

>Jay stooped down and took the armed grenade. It was preset
>for five minutes and had begun counting down.

Tom: Good Jay. Set the grenade to go off after you've all been
assimilated. Good plan.

> Jay had noticed Marrissa was moving in her
>chair. Her attempts at conversation with the Collective were
>futile. They attempted to feed her the same type of story
>they had before.

Crow: [Borg] We are the Borg. The dog assimilated our homework.

> When they saw it wasn't working, the programming embedded
>in Marrissa's mind was reactivated with a vengeance.

Tom: [blankly] I must kill Frank Drebin.

> She
>smiled a smile of the devil and took aim with her disrupter.
>Jay had beaten her to the trigger however, and fired an EMP
>burst into the throne.

Tom: Okay, here's something that's been bugging me since the
start of the story - the Borg can regenerate from massive
damage. Even huge holes in the ship from photon torpedoes
can be fixed in mere minutes. So *why the Hector Elizondo
is a little electromagnetic pulse suddenly putting them
down for the count*?!?!?
Crow: Ummmmmm - it's a Kryptonite generated EMP?
Tom: Oh. [pauses] Well, that's different.

> Electronics overloaded, melted and detonated throughout
>Marrissa's chair. A power surge flashed through throne, into
>the Queen and out to the time gate.

Crow: Remember, *always* use a power strip!

> Marrissa began convulsing
>as the images in the gate began to shift rapidly though
>different scenes and different time periods. When the
>convulsing stopped, Marrissa drooped in her seat like
>a convict after the electric chair.

Mike: Appropriately.

> The time gate had also
>settled, showing a representation of a Starfleet vessel's
>quarters.

Crow: With any luck, it's B'Elanna's!

> Gazing at the grenade's timer, which said he only had
>four minutes before it destroyed the room, Jay looked for a
>good place to hide it.

Tom: Finally, he dropped it in one of the big gaping holes in
the plot.

> Placing it under the time portal, Jay
>turned his attention back to his wife. She still had signs of
>life,

Mike: [Jay] Crap! Missed!

> but unless he helped her soon she would die from the
>electrical shock. Using the discarded kut'luch, Jay sliced
>the binding implants from the chair. The razor sharp blade
>managed to cut through the wires in almost a minute.

Crow: [Raspyni Brothers] Even the carrots we use...
All: *Razor Sharp*!!

> Jay then
>hoisted Marrissa up and carried her away from her former
>prison.

Crow: Then, thanks to the hundred or so pounds of implants, Jay
collapsed to the deck in excruciating pain, his spine
sticking straight out of his back.

> Tapping his combadge, Jay spoke, "Enterprise, two to beam
>up."
> Silence responded to his call.

Mike: [Jay] Ensign Silence, beam us up immediately!

> Of course, he thought, the
>magnetic shields are still up. There's no way off this ship.
>Unless, Jay's mind whirred, the time portal could work as a
>two-way street.

Crow: Well, with Jay's luck, it'll be a double-yellow line two
way street with safety cones blocking off one whole lane.

> Carrying Marrissa as if they were about to cross the
>threshold, Jay stepped up to the silvery hoop. Gathering a
>deep breath, he leaped into the time gate.

Tom: And over the broom.

> He felt a sensation
>that could be compared to jumping through a thin, continuous
>waterfall.

Mike: So, he got briefly wet then?

> Then the queasiness of
>zero gravity grabbed a hold of his stomach and spun it like a
>gyroscope.

Crow: o/~ You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a
record baby, right round round round... o/~

> His senses were bombarded by unclear images and
>multitudes of colour.

Tom: Super Freak-out! By Ohio Arts.

> He felt himself drift away from
>reality, only to have the sensation ended by something cool,
>hard, and fuzzy.

Mike: He's landed on Barney!
BOTS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BACK TO THE BORG SHIP, QUICK!!!!