Star Wars fans read this!
Hershaw Al-Barazi
for jokes. It willbe in text version only. No personal credit will be
given (other than private) exept that I will of course admit that
my mind is not the only one at work.
I ask three things:
1) You say which MST character (Mike, not our friend Joel) says what.
2) You say where the comment is said in the movie.
3) You EMAIL me your ideas.
and oh yeah,
4) It is somewhat funny. (If you want it included, I want to know
the reference too.)
--
Another treasured thought from... WISEMAN. (In San Francisco)
Proudly mail to:hal...@eis.calstate.edu
"If you don't give a damn, you're welcome to keep it."--T.C.S.
"Smash a glass and cry, 'Too Much Joy!'"--T.M.J.
"I wanna decide who lives and who dies."--Crow T. Robot, M.S.T.3k
"Luke, join me or star in Corvette Summer..."--Mike, M.S.T.3k
FLYNN
>I am doing a MST version of Star Wars A New Hope, and am requestiong ideas
>for jokes. It willbe in text version only. No personal credit will be
>given (other than private) exept that I will of course admit that
>my mind is not the only one at work.
>I ask three things:
>1) You say which MST character (Mike, not our friend Joel) says what.
>2) You say where the comment is said in the movie.
>3) You EMAIL me your ideas.
>and oh yeah,
>4) It is somewhat funny. (If you want it included, I want to know
>the reference too.)
STAR WARS: Funny or not funny floating?
The idea of MST (when I last checked) was
to make fun of wretchedly bad movies, not
simply to crack jokes at every opportunity.
If this was a movie we could all agree
deserved a good, hard MSTing (say perhaps
Highlander 2), I would join in the
festivities. As it is, I can't see why a
"fan" of something would want to poke fun
essentially at themselves.
There are many viable movies out there.
There's a difference between MST and just
wisecracking for wisecracking's sake.
Sorry... my 2 pence....
FLYNN
Hershaw Al-Barazi
> STAR WARS: Funny or not funny floating?
>
> The idea of MST (when I last checked) was
> to make fun of wretchedly bad movies, not
> simply to crack jokes at every opportunity.
> If this was a movie we could all agree
> deserved a good, hard MSTing (say perhaps
> Highlander 2), I would join in the
> festivities. As it is, I can't see why a
> "fan" of something would want to poke fun
> essentially at themselves.
>
> There are many viable movies out there.
> There's a difference between MST and just
So what, these are the ethics the mads follow? BBrains thinks of the
"true meaning of what MST3k is truely about" first? Your a humanitarian?
I am not offended by your opinion, nor do I not respect it, but BECAUSE
Star Wars is my favorite movie, I want to poke fun at it. Besides,
you don't know how many bloopers, mistakes, and such there is in
SW...
just my explanation.
D. Joseph Creighton
Tom: Hey, Mike. What's up?
Mike: Bad news guys. There's an article coming in and we need to make
a quick turn-around on it.
Crow: Quick turn-around? Isn't that from "The Hokey Pokey"?
Mike: No time, Crow. Apparently, somebody is trying to get--
[ Alarms wail and lights flash. ]
Mike: Come on!
[ Door sequence takes place and all three seat themselves down. ]
>Newsgroups: alt.tv.mst3k
>From: hal...@eis.calstate.edu (Hershaw Al-Barazi)
Tom: Hey! That's about us!
Crow: Us? Which one of us is named Hershaw Al-Baraziamikasipalooza?
Tom: No, no. The group name. Not that person's name.
Crow: That's not a person's name. It's one of those fancy foreign hotels
you stay in when you go to see the Pyramids.
Mike: Shhhhh! Let's get this over with.
>I am doing a MST version of Star Wars A New Hope, and am requestiong
Tom: A million dollars?
Mike: Huge pectoral muscles?
>ideas for jokes.
Crow: Oh, is that all? Get me Bob Hope on the line...
Tom: Isn't he dead?
Crow: Naaa. They've cloned him. Now we can hear outdated jokes forever.
Tom: Well, isn't *that* something we obviously need more of.
>It willbe in text version only.
Mike: What? Subtitles? I'm not staying for this!
Tom: Stay Mike! Pleeeaaaase? Don't leave us to suffer alone!
Crow: Yes, please Mike. We need your help.
Tom: Only twenty five cents a day!
Crow: And you can save poor Hershey Oh-Barbizarmi's brain!
Mike: Well... alright.
>No personal credit will be given (other than private)
Crow: This means you won't be able to get that Visa you've always wanted.
Tom: Other than private.
Crow: What's *that* mean?
Tom: I don't know. Remember, Hershil's brain needs help.
Crow: Oh, right.
>exept that I will of course admit that
Tom: You're an Ivory girl?
Crow: You're hooked on phonics?
Mike: You're coco for Cocoa Puffs?
>my mind is not the only one at work.
Crow: I think it's safe to assume that your mind doesn't work very hard
at anything, especially when trying to be original.
Tom: Poor Himsha...
>I ask three things:
Tom: What is your name?
Mike: What is your quest?
Crow: What is the average wind velocity of an unladen swallow?
>1) You say which MST character (Mike, not our friend Joel) says what.
Mike: Augh! That name! He said that name!
Crow: Shhhhh, it's alright, Mike. There, there...
>2) You say where the comment is said in the movie.
Tom: There, and there, and there, and over there-- Oh! There too!
Mike: You missed that one over there.
Tom: Thanks.
>3) You EMAIL me your ideas.
Mike: As opposed to... shouting them out of a window?
>and oh yeah,
>4) It is somewhat funny. (If you want it included, I want to know
>the reference too.)
Tom: I thought we covered "funny" a while back?
Crow: Yeah, we did. That's where you did that awful Bob Hope--
Tom: Don't remind me.
Mike: Hey, I thought there were only 3 questions?
Crow: What a boob. He can't count either.
Mike: I guess you weren't kidding about that brain he needs.
Crow: What, me? Try to kid you? I kid you not!
>--
Tom: Ooooo, look. Those have got to be the *tiniest* ending credits I
have ever seen in my life.
Crow: If you posted that, would you want everyone to know who you were?
Tom: Good point.
Mike: Hey guys. Wait. There's more.
>Another treasured thought from... WISEMAN. (In San Francisco)
Mike: "Treasured?"
Tom: "Thought?"
Crow: "Wiseman?"
Mike: I don't think any explanation is needed at this point.
Crow: Nope.
Tom: Nothin'.
>Proudly mail to:hal...@eis.calstate.edu
Mike: Or ashamedly stab yourself repeatedly in the eye with a finger.
Either way, you will wish you had not done either.
>"If you don't give a damn, you're welcome to keep it."--T.C.S.
Crow: Wow! My very own damn. I hope I get to use the damn thing often.
Oh look! I damn well used it! And again! Damn!
>"Smash a glass and cry, 'Too Much Joy!'"--T.M.J.
Tom: Smash your face and cry...
ALL: "One more time!"
>"I wanna decide who lives and who dies."--Crow T. Robot, M.S.T.3k
Crow: No, *I* wanna decide who lives and who dies!
>"Luke, join me or star in Corvette Summer..."--Mike, M.S.T.3k
Mike: Hmm, I have this feeling that I've heard that somewhere before.
Finally. That's all of the article. Let's go guys...
[ Reverse door sequence. ]
Mike: My, *that* was profitable.
Crow: I think we've learned a valuable lesson here.
Mike: And what's that, Crow?
Crow: Well, it's pretty obvious that Mr. Rukshaw El-Camino is trying to
create a humourous article for everyone to praise. The thing is,
he wants *you* to give him ideas, to tell him where to put them--
Tom: I'd certainly tell him where to--
Mike: Tom!
Crow: --and on top of it all, they *must* be funny. Besides which, you
get no credit for your witty rapier wit.
Tom: What if you have a witty Smith and Wesson wit? Does that count?
Mike: Too antique. Anyway, I think you're pretty much on the ball there,
Crow. I'm proud of you. But you missed one thing.
Crow: I did? What's that?
[ The author needs a punchline for this MiSTing. All I need from you is
three things: 1) wire $1000 to my account in Zurich, 2) write up a
humourous ending for Mike to say, and 3) read it aloud to yourself. I
provide this service for each and every reader of this article so that the
endings will make perfect sense to everyone. Thank you for your money. ]
Crow: Wow.
Tom: Wow.
Mike: Goodnight everyone.
[ MiSTed for you by the third guy in the .sig below... ]
---
"I'm not *blind* you know."
"Of course not -- but you *are* married." - O'Brien, Bashir; DS9 "Armageddon"
D. Joseph Creighton Joe_Cr...@UManitoba.CA U of M Computer Services
Systems Operator d...@cc.umanitoba.ca Winnipeg, MB, Canada
ksa...@news.delphi.com
Oh, I don't know...Star Wars really is a pretty lame movie in a lot of
ways...and Mark Hammil is so BAD...
"Uncle Owwwwweennnnnnn - I was going to go into town to pick up some new
power converrrrterrrrrrrs..."
(it's kinda tough to type in a whiny voice.)
Ken
Lanetta Lynn Smyth
>Ken
This is pure BLASPHEMY!!!! Star Wars is one of the best if not THE best
movies ever made. How can you say it is lame. You will perish in flames you hellfire beast! :)
.
. >
Mike Cohen
The special effects do look pretty cheesy by today's standards (although I
thought they were awsome when it first came out).
--
Mike Cohen - is...@netcom.com
NewtonMail: MikeC49506 / ALink: D6734 / AOL: MikeC20
Preston Crawford
: ksa...@news.delphi.com (KSA...@DELPHI.COM) writes:
You all are cracked if you think it's a good idea to Mistify Star Wars. I love
MST3K, but that is crossing sacred boundaries to want to make of fun of the
three greatest movies in the history of our galaxy and their galaxy. Take that
garbage elsewhere, because I think you're crossing some lines that were better left the way they were. Intact and
holy with the Trinity, I mean trilogy being worshiped.
Although the effects are cheesy by our standards they were far ahead of their
time. Years from no if they have movies with way better effects than say, T2,
are you going to trash it for having lame effects? That in itself would
be pretty lame.
Star Wars revolutionized movies and the way many look at life in general. For
some they are just great movies, for others a religion. Take on crap like
"Under Seige" or "lethal Weapon." Stick to movies with one year filming gaps
and leave major classy productions like this out of the mix.
Thank you...
Let's Go Teen Gang!
> You all are cracked if you think it's a good idea to Mistify Star Wars. I love
> MST3K, but that is crossing sacred boundaries to want to make of fun of the
> three greatest movies in the history of our galaxy and their galaxy. Take that
> garbage elsewhere, because I think you're crossing some lines that were better left the way they were. Intact and
> holy with the Trinity, I mean trilogy being worshiped.
> Star Wars revolutionized movies and the way many look at life in general. For
> some they are just great movies, for others a religion. Take on crap like
> "Under Seige" or "lethal Weapon." Stick to movies with one year filming gaps
> and leave major classy productions like this out of the mix.
Now this IS funny, but I have to say it's a LITTLE bit over the top as far
as satire goes. Maybe there are some little fans out there who go around
saying things like "Star Wars revolutionized movies AND THE WAY MANY LOOK AT
LIFE IN GENERAL", but overall I think that's a bit cruel. Likewise the bits
about "religion" and "holy trinity" are sort of excessive. I've known a few
Star Wars culties in my time, and none of them needed to be slammed THAT hard.
However, the "derogatory" reference to "movies with one year filming gaps"
is brilliant. Perfect take on a narrow mind attempting to sound cultured.
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Shu, thatsa fine." - Chico Marx
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
lisa renee danielson
Come, come, now. I enjoyed the film as much as anyone but Luke
really takes the prize for "Whiny Hero." Somebody send him a spine.
Jonathan D Baumgartner
li...@unm.edu writes:
>Come, come, now. I enjoyed the film as much as anyone but Luke
>really takes the prize for "Whiny Hero." Somebody send him a spine.
Hee hee .. "Uncle Owen! Auto Beruuuuuuuu ...."
Ya gotta admit, he got better with each new movie.
Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
jon
--
Jonathan D. Baumgartner Jonathan.D....@unh.edu
Computing & Information Services, University of New Hampshire
"It's just a matter of opinion." -- Primus
Harlan Freilicher
>
>Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
>thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
>
Well, I gather he was in Corvette Summer, and he was in one called
something like Time Runner, and he guest-starred as the Trickster on the
short-lived Flash TV series.
Plus, I think he's doing a supermarket opening over in Akron this weekend.
--
__________________________________________________________________________
| Harlan Freilicher | "I'm not ready!" |
| har...@acpub.duke.edu | -Gypsy |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
sl...@cc.usu.edu
> Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
> thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
Well, he IS the voice of the Joker on the Batman Animated Series now (honest!
I didn't believe it until I saw the credits m'self)
Keith N.l. sl...@cc.usu.edu
"But first, you want to swallow my lapel button...as a symbol of our love?"
- Crow, "Fugitive Alien"
Mike Cohen
>In article <2kdode$a...@triton.unm.edu> lisa renee danielson,
>li...@unm.edu writes:
>>Come, come, now. I enjoyed the film as much as anyone but Luke
>>really takes the prize for "Whiny Hero." Somebody send him a spine.
>Hee hee .. "Uncle Owen! Auto Beruuuuuuuu ...."
>Ya gotta admit, he got better with each new movie.
>Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
>thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
He was in Corvette Summer and several other forgettable movies.
>jon
>--
>Jonathan D. Baumgartner Jonathan.D....@unh.edu
>Computing & Information Services, University of New Hampshire
>
> "It's just a matter of opinion." -- Primus
Joseph Merlino
In article <isisCLp...@netcom.com>, is...@netcom.com (Mike Cohen) writes:
|> Jonathan D Baumgartner <Jonathan.D....@unh.edu> writes:
|>
|> >Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
|> >thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
|>
|> He was in Corvette Summer and several other forgettable movies.
|>
---> I saw him hawking StarWars Merchandise on the Home shopping
channel a few months back. Scary.
Just Another Redneck Paisan
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
--Joe Merlino / "Never look too deep into the mind of a lawyer."
ko...@acs.bu.edu / -Brisco County, Jr.
(std disclaimers apply) /
T/_/H/_/I/_/N/_/K/_/_/A/_/T/_/_/Y/_/O/_/U/_/R/_/_/O/_/W/_/N/_/_/R/_/I/_/S/_/K/
obmst3k: "Milk: It does a body DEAD!" -Tom Servo
"You're not fully dead unless you're ZESTfully dead." -Crow T. Robot
Jeremy Sammons
>>Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
>>thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
>
>He was in Corvette Summer and several other forgettable movies.
>
>
behind the joker on the animated Batman series, as well as in the
animated Batman movie. I saw him on Conan's late night show a while
B
back.
Jeremy "Why does it burn when I pee?" Sammons
pamu...@ingr.com
>
>Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
>thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
To quote Mitch Nielson "Luke, join me or star in _Corvette Summer_"
He also does the voice of the Joker on Batman: The Animated Series.
--
"Sorry, Phil, but we don't have time for more of your article."
"But I, Phil Mueller pamu...@ingr.com, have more to say!"
BZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZT!
"Oh, no!! I've got .sig sign against my will!!!"
James W. Thornhill
"the Flash" tv show. He was some sort of clown/magician gone
horribly wrong. Speaking of which, what's MST view on Flash.
I thought it was great but then again I like the Highlander
tv show.(not Highlander II)
WesT.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
James W. Thornhill Jr.
tho...@eng.auburn.edu
"I'm a scientist, I don't think, I observe!"
Dr. Clayton Forrester (MST3K)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Moose
I think Hamil is did a pretty good job, after all, Luke _is_ supposed to be
a whiny little kid.
just my 2c,
moose
+-----+---------------------+-----------------+-------------------------------+
|Jason|3rd Year |Ex ignoratia ad | And if you think you got |
|Eric |Ohio State University|sapientiam e luce| A nasty taunting this time, |
|Bean |Biochemistry Stud-ent|ad tenebras -HPL| You ain't heard nothing! |
+-----+---------------------+-----------------+ You empty-headed animal |
| I wanna decide who lives and who dies. | food trough water! |
| -Crow T. Robot | - French taunter |
+---------------------------------------------+-------------------------------+
Scott A. Weber
Interesting Mark Hamill story: He was in Disneyland a couple of years ago
and some little kid said to him, "May the force be with you!" Mr. Hamill
goes into a psycho tirade at the kid about how he's NOT L.S. and how
he's done other shit and so on! Talk about your future therapy session!
(For the kid, not necessarily for Hamill)
I know this has nothing to do w/ MST3K
SCOTT WEBER
Tammy Davis
Scott A. Weber <swe...@moose.uvm.edu> wrote:
>From article <1994Feb24.0...@osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu>, by bob...@osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu (Jeremy Sammons):
>>>
>>>>Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
>>>>thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
>>>
While in between the Star Wars movies, he did a film called
"The Big Red One" with Lee Marvin about World War II. Pretty
good performance in a pretty good movie.
-TSD
--
The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the University of
North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the Campus Office for Information
technology, or the Experimental Bulletin Board Service.
internet: laUNChpad.unc.edu or 152.2.22.80
Charles Robert Odell
> Interesting Mark Hamill story: He was in Disneyland a couple of years ago
> and some little kid said to him, "May the force be with you!" Mr. Hamill
> goes into a psycho tirade at the kid about how he's NOT L.S. and how
> he's done other shit and so on! Talk about your future therapy session!
> (For the kid, not necessarily for Hamill)
>
> I know this has nothing to do w/ MST3K
>
Like what can the kid say? "I loved your work in The Guyver?" :)
Charles "will watch bad Mark Hamill movies for food" Odell
Matt Kriebel
: In article <1994Feb25.0...@emba.uvm.edu>,
: Scott A. Weber <swe...@moose.uvm.edu> wrote:
: >From article <1994Feb24.0...@osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu>, by bob...@osuunx.ucc.okstate.edu (Jeremy Sammons):
: >>>
: >>>>Did Mark Hammil (sp?) ever do anything other than those movies? I
: >>>>thought he was in some USA Up All Night movie once ..
: >>>
: While in between the Star Wars movies, he did a film called
: "The Big Red One" with Lee Marvin about World War II. Pretty
: good performance in a pretty good movie.
Actually, he's been very busy with all sorts of MST3k worthy movies. Chack
out (or rather don't) "The Guyver" a costume monster movie based on some
japanese animation. Hammil plays a CIA agent (he has a moustache to avoid
'typecasting' :)). The movie also has another 70's icon Jimmy J.J. Walker
(or at least his voice). Hammil was also in a sci-fi movie called
'Slipstream'. Haven't seen all of that one though.....
Matt
Can't Sig.,Can't think, can type a little.
Zane Chancellor
Hey guys Mark's done some neat stuff like a part in Showtime's Body
Bags. Where he plays a baseball player who runs with a sharp stick and
pokes out his eye or something and then gets a killer's eye. He did a
good job and it's good to see that he's getting work.
-Marmoset Strikes
A wandering maniac...
>Like what can the kid say? "I loved your work in The Guyver?" :)
Or ask him if they used real guns in _The Big Red One_?
MITCHELL!
(If you care, a nearby fort calls itself the Big Red One.)
--
Internet e-mail: sher...@matt.ksu.ksu.edu Name: Guru/Kano/Ming/Andrew Sier
"Hey, here's an idea! Why don't you turn 180 degrees around the stake where the
fire ISN'T?" -- Tom Servo, _MST3K_
DISCLAIMER: The opinions above are mine, and came to you via certain mushrooms.