MiSTied "Flight to Bespin" (3/6)

[castel...@nd.edu]

> "I happen to like nice men."
> "I'm nice men." His voice had been deep and soft, and
>she'd
>
>suddenly realized how handsome he was. Her body had
>tingled with

TOM: ...electricity as she stuck her finger accidentally into a power
socket.

>anticipation, fear of the unknown, but her mind was
>still in control.
>
>

> "No you're not, you're -- "
>
>
> Leia lay her cheek against the pillow. She could smell him
>on the
>
>pillow.

CROW: Whoa, did something get edited here?

FORRESTER: When you're writing a fanfic spanning over a multitude of time
lines,
transition is optional.

> Even though she'd been in the cabin, slept in his
>bunk, for the last
>
>five days, she could still smell where he had
>slept. It was a strangely
>
>comforting, masculine scent that she'd
>never noticed before she'd moved
>
>into his cabin.

CROW: (Sniffing.) Smells like bug spray.

>
A knock at the door broke the spell.
>
>

> "Yes?" She touched the remote for the door.

FORRESTER (dippy voice): Did you order a large pepperoni with extra
cheese, ma'am?

> Han stood there, his hair wet, moisture glistening on his
>bare
>
>chest, naked save for a towel wrapped around his waist.

MIKE: You don't need that much aftershave on you, Han.

ALL: Eww!

> Her
>pulse
>
>quickened and she knew she was glad to see him, but was
>taken aback
>
>at his state of undress. The lopsided smile on his face
>indicated that he
>
>obviously wanted to shock her.

FORRESTER: So he got out the taser gun.

> But she didn't -
>wouldn't - bite.

ALL: (Coughing nervously at that.)

> "What do you want?" she asked impatiently.

CROW (Leia): Is that a lightsaber under your towel or are you just happy
to see me.

> He smiled suggestively. "What have you got in mind?"

FORRESTER: The idea of you, me and a duck stranded on a beach...

MIKE: I think it's best if you stopped there.

>But
>
>he saw the anger cloud her face and added, "Just want to get
>some
>
>clean clothes. Don't worry, I won't be long."
>
>

> She nodded her consent and he entered the cabin.

TOM (Han): It's real nice of you to allow me to come into my own cabin and
all.

FORRESTER (Leia): Oh, bite me.

> Han looked around the room, nodding approvingly.
>"You've
>
>cleaned up in here.

MIKE (Han): My god I hope she didn't find my stash.

FORRESTER: Why do you think she's locked herself up for five days

BOTS: The princess is stoned!

> Do you cook as well?" She ignored
>his sarcasm
>
>but he continued. "Y'know, Your Highness, some
>day you're gonna
>
>make some lucky fella a good wife."

MIKE: Yep. Some guy is going to soak you for the millions of dollars
you're worth and then leave you out to dry.

> For some reason, his comment didn't irk her too much.
>
>

> He gestured at her as he moved to the closet. "In all the
>time
>
>I've known you, this is the first time I've seen you with your
>hair down."

CROW: She ran out of danishes.

> She mimicked his gesture and drawling Corellian accent.
>"In all
>
>the time I've known you, this is the first time I've seen you
>half-naked."

TOM (hick voice): Damn teens. Ya' been smooching on my property again!

> He grinned lopsidedly at her. "Well, you know I hate to do
>things
>
>by halves," he said, turning towards the closet and dropping
>the towel from
>
>his waist.

(MIKE quickly covers CROW's and TOM's eyes.)

TOM: Wait. What's going on?

CROW: Yeah, what is it?

MIKE: I'll give you a hint: how in-bare-ass-ing. Get it?

CROW: On second thought, it's best you cover our eyes.

> Leia's breath caught in her throat, and she felt her cheeks
>blush
>
>red hot as she quickly averted her eyes. Beneath her shock
>and
>
>embarrassment, she grit her teeth. The muscles in her neck
>tightened
>
>again.

"You can look again," Han called out.

MIKE: Okay, it passed. (He uncovers their eyes.)

> She gave him a few more moments before glancing up.
>His
>
>back was still towards her but he was settling a pair of black
>trousers
>
>with blood-red piping down the side seams over his hips.
>He turned
>
>around as he tightened his belt.
>
>

> Her cheeks still burning, Leia snapped, "Han Solo, you are
>
>

>incorrigible."

MIKE (Han): Is that good?

> His smile faded and he stared at her solemnly. "Do you
>want me
>
>to leave, Leia?"
>
>

> Leia hesitated. Yes. No.

CROW: Pass.

> "It's your cabin," she finally
>
>

>conceded.
>
>

> He sat down on the end of the bunk and rubbed water from
>his
>
>chest with the towel. "My clothes look better on you than they
>ever do on
>
>me."

FORRESTER: Especially the lace teddy.

> "I'm lucky I found something clean. You don't have much
>of
>
>a wardrobe for me to chose from."
>
>

> "I'm no fashion victim." He pushed the towel through his
>hair,
>
>then let it fall to the deck.
>
>

> "I hope you don't mind," she said pleasantly. Liar.

ALL (singing): I'm asking you sugar, to liiieeee to me.

> "Can't even remember the last time I wore that," he said
>
>as
>he tried to comb his damp hair with his fingers.
>
>
> "You're nothing if but consistent, Han."
>
>

> "But not predictable, hey?"

TOM: Oh yeah, sure that makes sense... Huh?

> She returned his apologetic smile. She looked down at
>
>her
>hands as an uncomfortable, expectant silence filled the gap
>
>

>between them.
>
>

> "You've been avoiding me," Han finally said.

ALL: Duh!

CROW: Boy, what a rocket scientist he has become.

> "No I haven't." She said that just a little too quickly and
>
>

>defensively.
>
>

> "Have I done something wrong? I mean, apart from the
>usual."
>
>
>
"I just need some time to myself," she said softly.
>
>

> He looked at her earnestly. "I thought we'd been getting
>
>

>along so well."

MIKE: The Helsinki Syndrome is settling in.

> "We have been," she admitted. "I didn't want to ruin it all
>by
>
>arguing with you again. I'm tired of fighting, Han." There
>was more to
>
>it than that but she couldn't explain it to him; she had
>enough trouble
>
>trying to sort it out in her own mind.
>
>

> "What d'you mean?" He was incredulous. "We don't
>fight all
>
>the time."

FORRESTER: Just when they see or talk to each other.

> "Yes we do," she said simply.
>
>

> "No we don't. That's just banter, 's'all." He looked
>concerned.
>
>

> "Han," she said slowly, as if to a child, "you always argue
>with me.
>
>And when you don't argue, you're being flippant, or
>sarcastic, or rude, or
>
>obnoxious, or you call me 'You
>Highnessness', 'Your Worship', 'Your - "

TOM (Han): That's a lot of ors.

CROW (Leia): What did you call me?

>
"No way!" he cut her off. "There's no way I'm like that!
>You
>
>make me sound like I'm an arrogant, argumentative son-of-a- "
>
>

> "Han! Listen to yourself!" She couldn't believe she was
>having
>
>this conversation, this argument. "Why is it so difficult for
>you just to have
>
>a conversation with me without it escalating into
>an argument or a test of
>
>wills? Why do you always want to
>fight....with....me?"

FORRESTER (Shatner): Why... Spock?

> Leia's torrent
>
>slowed as she realized he was
>softly chuckling to himself.
>
>

> He gave her a dazzling smile. "You're easy to tease. And
>you
>
>react so well, Your Highnessness."

TOM: He just ripped you a new one, princess.

> Leia blushed again, embarrassed that he had caught her out
>so
>
>easily.
> "Honestly, sometimes you act like a little boy who
>enjoys pulling
>
>my hair just to get my attention."

MIKE: If that doesn't work he sets it on fire.

> Han shrugged. "It works, doesn't it?" His playful
>demeanour
>
>changed. "But, go on. I can have a decent
>conversation with you." He
>
>swung his legs up onto the bunk and
>sat opposite her with his legs
>
>crossed. "What do you want to talk
>about?"

TOM (Leia): Lao Tzu.

> She considered this for a moment. What could they
>possibly
>
>have in common?

FORRESTER: A mutual attraction to Luke?

MIKE & BOTS: Oh, gross!

> She barely even knew who he really
>was. "Why
>
>don't we talk about you."
>
>

> "Me? Why me?" he asked suspiciously.

MIKE (Robert Stack): This is the tale of one Han Solo, a rebellious youth
who's life led him into crime.

> "Well, you've been with the Alliance - "

CROW: Oh, the NCAA Bowl Collalition sucks!

TOM: Not that alliance, doofus!

> "I am not with the Alliance."
>
>
> Leia smiled indulgently and started again. "I've known
>you for
>
>a few years, and yet I know virtually nothing about you.
>You don't let
>
>much out."
>
>

> "Play your cards close to the chest, is what I always say."

FORRESTER: And never eat spinach with a stranger, too.

> "And why's that, Han?"
>
>

> He frowned, then recognition lit his face. "Don't you try
>to
>
>psychoanalyze me, Princess.

TOM (German accent): I shall attempt to give you, as succinctly as
possible, a survey of the history and subsequent development
of this new method of
examination and treatment.

MIKE: Okay, enough of the Freud jokes.

> Besides, you can talk. You're so
>cold
>
>and hard that sometimes I think your face'd crack if you
>smiled.

TOM: Finally, the voice of truth!

> You
>
>take life too seriously. Loosen up. Enjoy yourself
>for a change."

ALL (singing): Always look on the bright side of death. Do this while you
draw your
terminal breath.

> "Han, unless you hadn't realized, we're in the middle of a
>war
>
>here. I have responsibilities and obligations. I have people
>relying
>
>on me. People looking to me for direction and leadership.
>I don't
>
>have time to 'enjoy' myself. I don't have time to walk
>around with a
>
>stupid, lopsided smirk across my face."
>
>

> "Hey!"

FORRESTER (Han): At least I wasn't in "Hollywood Vice Squad."

TOM: That was rather evil to say, even for you.

FORRESTER: Thank you.

> She ignored the fact that she had just done what she
>accused
>
>him of doing. "Besides, we're not talking about me. It's
>my turn to find
>
>out who you are."

CROW: Dear Penthouse. I am a freshman at a small midwestern college...

> "Hmmm." He didn't sound convinced this was such a
>good idea.
>
>

> "So you were raised on Corellia?" That seemed like a safe
>place to start.

MIKE: Most Corellians are.

> "Raised? What, like a grain crop?" He smiled cheekily at
>her.

FORRESTER: No, more like a fruit. Get it? A "fruit."

CROW: You are a profoundly lonely man, aren't you.

FORRESTER: Well, uh...

>"OK, OK. Not exactly 'raised'. More like 'hit-the-ground-
>running'.

TOM: That must have been an interesting birth experience.

> Kept
>
>my head above water most of the time."

FORRESTER: Born while snorkeling?

>

> "So you've been in trouble with the authorities for most of
>your
>
>life?"

CROW: What is he, Ray Liotta all of a sudden?

MIKE: Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a gangster.

> "Not 'trouble'." He pursed his lips in thought. "More
>like, 'mutual
>
>respect'."

FORRESTER: Yeah. That's like saying short people are "vertically
challenged."

MIKE (quickly): We apologize to every one we did offend with that
statement.

> She eyed him sceptically. "What were you like as a
>child?"

TOM: Ever see "The Good Son"?

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